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The wind was really blowing hard that night. Lloyd tried to shake it off. It was just some wind and it wasn't like anything bad would happen... this time, but he couldn't shake the illogical feeling of dread deep down inside him. 'It's just some wind' he kept telling himself. 'Was it stronger than usual tonight?' None of the others seemed affected by the wind. It was just him. He was being weak and childish. 'I'm not a child and I'm not scared of some stupid wind.'
Suddenly the wind knocked a branch at the bounty which made Lloyd jump, anxiety spiking. He was quick to retreat to the sleeping cabin.
Breaths shallow.
Hands shaking.
Legs felt like jelly.
He wanted to cry but that would be stupid and childish of him. He needed to be strong. He is the Destined Green Ninja, he can't be scared of some stupid wind!
But the scattered memories of having Morro inside of his body resurfaced. As much as he tried to push them down and get that chapter of his life out of his memory, they would always come back to haunt him. They were just like ghosts. Cole was a ghost too. It was so hard to be in the same room as Cole or even look at him without remembering Morro. He tried to push down any fear and tried to act like everything was normal, but he couldn't look Cole in the eye without seeing through him.
Everything has changed.
Lloyd pulled his blankets over his head and tried to ignore the wind. The others were all sleeping fine so he should be too.
==
Lloyd was the last one up and stumbled into the kitchen looking like a mess.
"Morning, sleeypy-head," Cole said, "how'd you sleep? By the looks of it, in a bush."
For some reason, Lloyd didn't find the remark funny, anger boiling quickly. He snapped back, "mind your own business!" Suddenly he gasped, clamping his hands over his mouth, eyes wide. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..." He shuffled over to the table to have breakfast, away from Cole.
"It's... it's okay," Cole said, looking sad.
After finishing breakfast quickly, Lloyd was the first one up from the table. "Are we going to land anywhere today?"
"Yeah, we're at the tea shop actually. We've already landed," Kai said, "is everything okay? You look anxious."
"I'm okay, don't worry about me." Lloyd was quick to leave before any more questions could be directed at him. Returning to his room, he put on his gi and headed to the little waterfall and pond area behind the tea shop. He wanted to be near water. The sounds of the waterfall would bring peace, the fact that ghosts couldn't get wet was even better.
He skipped along the rocks and found a large, smooth, dry rock and sat on it.
Maybe being alone, though, wasn't the best thing for him.
Because when you're alone, that gives intrusive thoughts a lot of space to hang around, coming and going as they please. In and out. Memories and traumas. Unwanted memories and unwanted feelings.
Chills spread through his body despite the direct sunlight. He dipped his hand into the pond to try to feel better. Safer. The feeling of the cool water helped ground him, but then the wind kicked up. Not as heavy, but still enough to rattle tree branches, reeds, and create ripples along the water. He dipped his arm deeper into the pool. He would be sitting in it if he could, but he wasn't about to strip off all his clothes and swim in a semi-public area.
"Lloyd?" Kai's voice made his jump, water splashing into his face.
"I was just-"
"Are you okay?" Kai asked, skipping over to the large flat rock Lloyd was on. "You have been anxious lately."
"I'm-"
"Before you say that you are "fine" know that you look exhausted, you've been very jumpy, I've heard you mumbling in your sleep and tossing and turning-"
"Sorry about that..."
"It's nothing you have to be sorry for! I'm just worried for you as your brother." He sat down and placed a warm hand on Lloyd's back. The younger sighed with the comfort and warmth it brought him. "You're kind of shaking?"
"It's cold out."
"Maybe if you didn't have your arm in the water you'd be warmer," Kai suggested, "or are you trying to become the master of water now too?"
"Water helps," Lloyd said quietly.
"Hm?"
"I-I-I-" The small gust of wind made him freeze. Kai could feel his body tensing at the change in wind.
"Is it the ghosts?"
"What do you think?" That reply came out snappier than Lloyd intended. He pulled his arm out of the water and sat facing Kai. "I keep getting snappy and I feel so trashy for doing it..."
"It's okay to get hot-headed," Kai said. "Especially with having your body taken over by a ghost-" He saw Lloyd's reaction to the words 'taken over' and 'ghost'. "I mean-"
"I shouldn't be scared of ghosts," Lloyd said with a similar snappy tone. "I can't be scared!"
"We're ninja but we're not fearless."
"I'm the green ninja. I have to be strong."
"And you are strong," Kai said, reassuringly. "But you don't have to take everything by yourself."
"It's just-" He turned away to hide his face which was close to tears, holding his head in his hands. "I- I don't know how to explain it. I could feel Morro inside of my head and in my body. It was so- It was so-" His whole body was shaking at the remembrance.
"Maybe you should focus on something else?"
"I can't!" He frantically wiped any tears that started to stream down his eyes. "Every time I'm alone or every little noise the wind makes.... I just can't seem to forget!" He let out a frustrated wail-grunt and summoned an energy forcefield, wanting to blast the nearest tree or the ground, but he restrained himself. He focused on calming down instead.
Kai was looking at him with a face full of pity. "I'm sorry kid."
"Yeah, I'm sorry too."
"For what?"
"I don't know- I just feel sorry."
"Don't be. You're having a bad day; you're recovering from a traumatic event; don't be ashamed. It happens to the best of us."
"Yeah... you're right..."
"Do you want to go back to the bounty or stay here?"
"What are we doing today?"
"If you want to stay here, I can tell the others. We don't have much to do, but I'm sure-"
"Don't leave me," Lloyd blurted. "Please."
Understanding, Kai nodded his head. "Yeah, of course. I still regret not going with you to the museum."
"Don't wanna talk about that."
"Okay. Sorry."
The two sat in silence, but it was comfortable. Nya came to find them eventually to have a Wu-worthy lecture about abandoning duties and being lazy. Though once Kai explained to her (in private) about what was going on, she understood. However, she still made them go back to the Bounty and help with the chores and train.
Later that evening, Kai showed up in the game room where Lloyd was playing some video games.
"I thought you might want this," Kai said, throwing over a dragon plushie. "It was one of mine as a kid, but you can have it now."
Lloyd stared down at the plushie. It was a gold dragon, and when Lloyd picked it up, it was hugable and soft. "Thank you, Kai."
"No problem Lloyd." Kai smiled. "Hopefully he'll keep you safe while you sleep."
"Haha, yeaaaah."
The moment was interrupted by the game, Lloyd's character getting pummeled by his enemies, and the Game Over screen lighting up the room. Lloyd didn't care too much, but Kai let him finish his game in peace afterwards.
When everyone was in bed, Lloyd was still awake.
The thoughts were coming back.
Ultimately, he got up and walked around the dark hallways until he saw a glint of gold fabric in the game room. He had left Kai's gift in the game room. He picked up the small dragon and carried him back to bed, getting under the covers again with the dragon.
He wasn't sure if he believed in comfort objects before, or maybe he was just that exhausted, but he slept like a rock, no dreams to haunt him that night.