Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Klara wasn’t ready for what was ahead of her on the first day of school.

She slung her bag over her shoulder. “Okay, my bots, wish me luck!” Each one bounced up like they were showing excitement as she opened the door.

Her roommates that she had met recently figured she wasn’t the party type, so they left her alone. The main hall was filled with people as Klara stumbled out.

Klara, a.k.a. Killjoy, was the top student in her high school and anyone would want to write her letters of recommendation. She had the rare 5.0 GPA, and ended up as valedictorian in her school. The school she got accepted into was prestigious, and the German was proud to be there. Her adopted dad, Liam Byrne, or Brimstone, as his friends called him, smiled as she had left to live on campus for the first time.

Needless to say, she was excited.

Weeks passed, and she had been way ahead of the material that was presented to her. She had been getting bored, clearly too smart for all this. Or maybe she was distracted.

One girl would come in 2 minutes late, almost every day, much to Killjoy’s annoyance. Who the hell comes in late?

Tayane Alves, a.k.a. Raze, was her name. She had the brilliant mind just like Killjoy, impressively high GPA, salutatorian, all that, but to Killjoy, she seemed very clumsy. She always came to her classes in a cropped tank top and a pair of baggy, paint splattered pants. Killjoy rolled her eyes as the Brazilian woman sat next to her in the lecture hall, but slowly, the German started to stare the more she spaced out.

One weekend, she went back home. Something did stop her, a paint stained autoshop, which stunk of that woman.

Killjoy was very close to home, and she was lucky the university was so close, but the autoshop’s noise stopped her. ‘Raze’s Repair Shop’ the crude sign read. It was very sloppy for Killjoy’s standards, and god did it reek of oil.

“Scheiße…who keeps their shop so messy? It’s kinda gross…” Killjoy muttered as she sat outside the auto shop. It smelled also of Portugese cuisine, reminding Killjoy that she needed dinner.

“Thanks, come again!” Raze’s voice echoed through the shop. Cars drove off as she passed a wrench to one of her coworkers, an older man with two prosthetic arms. He had a nametag that said “Hi, My Name is Erik/Breach.” His name was crudely scribbled in.

He had a nickname too, huh?

“Oh, I didn’t see ya there. You need somethin’?” Raze sat down beside Killjoy, scaring the German. “I didn’t see you with a car.”

“Oh no, it’s nothing. I just looked around a bit.” Killjoy placed her notebook in her bag, the one she had notes on about the Brazilian in front of her.

Scheiße. Her stomach started to rumble, loudly.

“Did you smell the food? We have extra.” Raze offered.

“Oh no, I should be getting home, Dad is probably worried. I’m visiting for the weekend.” Killjoy slung her bag over her shoulder and ran to the bus station, leaving both Raze and Breach very confused.

“That’s one odd chick.” Breach whispered to Raze.

“She’s the girl I sit next to in class. I always look at her. Seems like she already knows what we’re learning so she doesn’t pay attention.” Raze started telling him about the German. “I do feel like she watches me though.”

“That’s creepy, tell her to stop.” Breach said, crossing his arms.

“What if I think she’s cute? The way her glasses bring out her gorgeous brown eyes…” Raze thought out loud.

“Kid, you in love? That girl’s a fuckin’ nerd, why would ya fall for her? An’ I saw the way she was lookin’ at our workplace, sayin’ stuff about it being too messy…” Breach started to complain, but Raze ignored him.

“For all I know, she could be a pretentious smartass, or the most beautiful woman in my life.” Raze grinned. “I’ll see if she’s interested in hanging out sometime.”

Breach elbowed her. “I don’t think she likes you. That girl comes from a richer world. Clearly.” He rolled his eyes as he stole more of Raze’s food.

“Eh, I dunno. Worth a shot.” She glanced over at Breach who had stuffed his face with Spanish rice before resuming work on the car. Raze laughed at the man, who looked awkwardly at her with a faceful of food. He grinned and then she went to get some food for herself.

Raze never got that cute girl’s name. All she knew was that hearing her speak was a fever dream. That accent she had was hot.

And those curves. Raze got a good look at the German, front and back. She may have taken a couple seconds to stare at the German’s ass and chest, that’s all.

“Hey, earth to Raze, we got one last customer today.” Breach snapped his fingers in front of her face.

“Oh sorry, lemme get right on it. An oil change and smog test, gotcha.” Raze got to work right away, and finished quick. “Have a nice day!” She turned to Breach. “Let’s close up shop.”

He nodded and soon they were back in their rooms. Those two ran this little humble shop by themselves, and Raze was happy doing it. She even wanted that extremely bright, dark brown haired woman to try working on a car. It was fun. Breach was doing push ups in his room, and Raze just sat down and stared at her phone. She had just recieved a text.

‘Oi, you free tomorrow?’

Tala Nicole. Also known as Neon, seemed to constantly be radiating energy. A girl under a track scholarship, she was Raze’s best friend, giving her life advice and the best lumpia that the Brazilian had ever tried in her life. Neon had helped Raze become self-loving, and the first person Raze came out to.

In simpler terms, these two go very far back. High school. Neon had great grades despite acting like a total fucking idiot most of the time with her friends, and she was here majoring in kinesiology.

‘Yeah, I’m free tomorrow. Wanna get lunch?’ Raze texted back.

‘I’m down.’ Neon replied literally instantly.

Raze and Neon sat down at a Mexican restaurant in town, run by a very strict woman known as Reyna. They ordered and Raze started to ask questions about the German girl that stopped by the other day.

“No way…she’s my roommate.” Neon stared, her mouth agape and food seen in her cheeks.

“What?” Raze couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “Glasses? A green beanie that is worn constantly? And a puffy yellow and purple coat?”

“Yeah. Her name is Klara, but most people call her Killjoy. The name fits, she never goes out.” Neon joked. “She always locks herself in her room, only coming out when Sunwoo or I make dinner for us.”

“She seems cute…” Raze murmured loud enough for Neon to hear.

“Dude, you have a crush on her or something? She always gives off such arrogant vibes whenever we talk.” Neon leaned back in her chair.

“I always catch her drawing in class. She isn’t a good artist but it looks like she draws her inventions in her notebook.” Raze said, picking up a fajita and biting into it. “She stopped by yesterday, and immediately left when she was caught.”

“Huh. Weird. That girl has always been strange.” Neon looked around. “I wonder how she really feels about same-sex relationships.”

“What do you mean?” Raze asked.

“Well, Sunwoo, or Jett as everyone calls her, and I talk about dating girls and joking about it, and she always changes the topic.” Neon continued. “It’s really weird, I don’t know if she’s a closeted lesbian or just homophobic.”

“Could be both.” Raze joked. “I hope I have a chance with her. Try to get to know her and stuff, y’know?”

“I gotcha. Find out what type of people that nerd is into for me, okay?” Neon joked slurping on her soda. “Sunwoo might be able to help you. Find her after her culinary class on Monday at noon. She’s usually free after it.”

Raze nodded, taking Neon’s advice. She knew Jett, that girl always called a guy she was friends with “Pretty Boy” and admitted to liking him. It was surprising with the amount of pining they did that they weren’t together.

“I’ll go find her on Monday. Thanks Neon.” Raze continued to finish her meal, thinking about the German. She reached for the check, only to see Neon swipe it before her eyes.

“I’ll pay this time. Save your money for when you take Klara on a date.” Neon grinned at her.

“Oh, alright then.” Raze smiled. “Thanks Neon.”

Neon smiled and walked Raze back to her car, before dashing off towards the school.

Sitting in her car, Raze dreampt about being with Killjoy and seeing what was under that arrogant front.

Let’s go and talk to Jett, shall we?

Chapter Text

Raze is consistently late. It’s just a fact at this point. She stumbled into her seat, adjusting her hat as she sat down next to Killjoy. The German was way prettier now that Raze got a good look at her. Raze had been staring for a good two minutes before she turned away to hide her blush.

Neon said that she was uncomfortable with the topic of homosexuality. That got Raze thinking as she left class. Raze tripped on a couple stairs as she stared behind her to see if Killjoy had followed.

No reponse.

She shrugged and went to the culinary building to look for Sunwoo. Neon was running laps around the school; anyone who felt a gust of wind blow by them knew it was her. The culinary building on campus was right next to the cafeteria. A white haired woman walked out, removing her apron and waving to her friend Ryo, also known as Yoru. Her eyes caught Raze’s and she ran up to the Brazilian, smiling widely and hugging her.

“I am covered in paint…” Raze muttered, but Jett didn’t care.

“I’m always covered in some kinda food. It’s the culinary life, y’know? Neon told me you were coming to talk. Why don’t we go back to my place? Klara studies in the library for two hours before she comes home. We have time.” Jett took Raze’s hand and with a gust of wind, they were off to the dorms.

“Killjoy and I talk about boys sometimes. That hot guy, Phoenix, hella cute. I really love him. But Killjoy doesn’t find him attractive at all. The young Russian man with the long blonde ponytail? Not her taste either. I brought up so many cute guys, like this Vincent Fabron guy she has a class with, and none of them appealed to her.” Jett put down some Korean style barbecue for Raze. “Enjoy.”

“Did you bring up any girls?” Raze asked.

Jett shrugged. “Neon’s the bi one here. I don’t really find interest in women, so I never bothered to ask the others in our dorm.” Her chopsticks moved around in the food, preparing to eat.

“I smell somethin’ delicious.” A redhead rather muscular Australian woman stepped into the room in her pajamas. “Save any for me?”

“Good morning Skye! No classes today, yeah?” Jett asked as the woman sat down.

“Righty-O. Got my 4am run today. Killjoy’s light was still on when I woke up.”

“That night owl…” Jett whispered as she served the woman her food.

“Thanks Jett, I’m starving. Hey, have we met before, mate? If not, name’s Kirra, but everyone calls me Skye. I’m an environmental science major.”

“Tayane. Or Raze, that’s my nickname.” Raze shook Skye’s hand. “Nice to meet you.”

“Interested in Killjoy yeah? She’s quite the enigma.” Skye put some of her food under the table, where a large snout and tongue took it.

“What is that?” Raze asked, her mouth agape.

“It’s my pet. Had to fight the office to get him in here. Tasmanian tiger.” The animal walked around to greet Raze, still chewing on its food.

“Wow, its pretty.” Raze smiled at it and reached out to pet him.

“Thank you. I spend a good amount of time taking care of him.” Skye smiled.

The front door creaked open. Killjoy stepped inside and quickly ran to her room the moment she saw Raze. Skye noticed it and then blatantly asked Raze the question.

“Do you have beef with Klara or somethin’, mate?”

“Nope. It’s quite the opposite actually. That’s why I’m here to see Jett anyways. I want clues on what type of people she likes.” Raze lowered her voice. “I like her. She’s absolutely gorgeous.”

“I see.” Skye nodded. “Did Jett or Neon talk about her odd reaction to homosexuality? Neon’s been checking out the girls at school too, and Killjoy gets uncomfortable when she talks about it. It’s strange.” Skye leaned back in her chair. “I can’t put my finger on that girl.”

“I hope she’s not listening in on us.” Raze looked over at the hallway.

“It’s fine. Her door is on the end. She barely hears anything when we talk out here.” Jett shrugged.

Neon grinned. "Yup. She doesn't really talk to us. Let alone gets out of her room. I worry about her, but then again I do notice lumpia missing in the morning."

"Maybe she's too nervous because there are so many hot women in the dorm." Jett joked, making Neon flushed.

"Oi, you're too kind."

Raze couldn't help but laugh at the two women in front of her as Skye pet her tiger. Sitting down once again on their couch, she faced Neon.

"Tell me everything you know about Klara." Raze's tone became gravely serious. "I really wanna impress her."

They talked until around 2 in the morning. Neon, Jett, and Skye went to bed. Raze sat in their living room. A door creaked open, and the sound of bare feet could be heard on the wood.

It was Killjoy.

The steps kept coming closer. Raze was fearing for her life. Until she realized there was nothing on the German's shoulders. In fact, she wasn't wearing anything at all. However it was too dark for Raze to get a good look. Killjoy hadn't noticed the engineer, opening the fridge, still hidden in the darkness. A hand reached for some lumpia that was leftover from Neon cooking that night. Raze kept staring, hoping Killjoy's skin would be revealed.

But there was no point. Killjoy's figure stayed completely hidden.

'What a disappointment.' Raze thought, slinking back onto the couch. But her hat had slipped down and landed on the floor. The shadow of Killjoy heard the sound.

'Shit...'

"Who the hell...?" Killjoy's voice sounded angry. "Who the hell is in my dorm? Show yourself, verdammt!"

Was Raze supposed to hide, or run for her goddamn life?

Killjoy had picked up Raze's hat, still in the dark. Her footsteps started going away, and then the door to the engineer's room had shut.

Raze had just been scared shitless by a completely naked German woman.

And now her hat was missing. Raze started to panic, and sprinted out of the dorm, shutting the door very loudly behind her. She needed to get home.

Raze didn't sit next to Killjoy the next day. She was scared as all hell that the woman would know she was there, and saw the German's figure.

Lowkey, she was disappointed that she couldn't see more. But her heart had raced when she pictured some...erm...thoughts. She kicked back in her seat, not paying attention as usual.

But she was sure someone was watching her.

Raze shook off the feeling, walking back to the auto shop. She had work to do, and she really needed that hat back. But if she asked for it, Killjoy would probably murder her with her machines. And she'd know Raze was there last night.

God, that woman was fucking scary.

All the more reason to call her hot.

"Raze, where's your hat?" Breach asked, making some meatballs.

"Well, I stayed over at Neon's dorm, and Killjoy is her roommate." Raze started. "And I couldn't sleep that night." She did start to sweat. "I'm pretty sure Klara had thought I left by now, so she came out around 3 in the morning. No clothing."

Breach raised an eyebrow. "Guess she's comfortable doing that, since no one is awake to see her. But continue." He sipped on his drink.

"And then my hat clattered against the wooden floor while Killjoy was getting her morning snack." Raze gulped. "I thought I would die, but I hid so she couldn't find me, not making a sound. She took my hat."

"Shit, kid. You're dead." Breach grimaced.

"I was trying to avoid her today. I don't need to deal with her German wrath." Raze said nervously.

"I see. Try and get your hat back, Raze." The Swedish man offered her food. "Hungry?"

"Yeah, I'm hungry."

Hopefully Killjoy won't kill her in the next few days.

Chapter Text

Killjoy was fucking losing it.

“Raze was there! I didn’t know she stayed the night! Why does no one tell me anything?” She flopped onto the bed.

The German was pissed.

Her door was open when Raze ran out, seeing the Brazilian’s figure rush from their couch to the door. She gripped the hat she held in her hand and tossed it into the corner of the room.

“That Raze, she is a mystery…” Killjoy leaned back in her chair, looking at the wall of her favorite bands. “What does she even want with me?”

It did strike her.

“She’s been talking about me with my roommates an awful lot…does she like me?” Klara asked her bots. No response.

Killjoy felt her face heat up. “No…I’m not into women. I like men only. That’s it, ja? Get it through your head Klara, verdammt!” Her fist ran into the wall, loud enough for Skye to hear it on the other side.

“Shut up brain, Raze isn’t attractive. She isn’t cute.”

So what is Killjoy telling herself? She’s not gay; she’ll find a guy cute eventually. There’s just no one here she likes. No man is pretty here, that sounds right. Just, find someone later in life, Killjoy forced herself to think.

“I’m straight. I’m straight. I’m into dick, flat chests and planks for asses.” Klara muttered. “I. Like. Men.”

She then had an image of Raze smiling in her head. “Get out of my goddamn head, Raze.” Killjoy forced herself to try to find things attractive in Vincent Fabron, but quickly became frustrated as she couldn’t find shit attractive about him.

“What the hell, Killjoy? This is stupid. I’m just going to study.” Killjoy punched the wall again before working on her essay.

Skye heard all of that. “Homophobic, eh? No wonder…” Her tiger whined for food as she pet him. “Calm down. I’ll get you a meal. Hopefully Killjoy stops punching my wall.” The Australian stood up and took a piece of leftover meat for her tiger. “I should talk to Jett and Neon later. Killjoy is fighting a battle with her own feelings.”

Killjoy paced around the room. She grimaced, looking at the hat again. Returning it to Raze would be a good idea. But she was scared that Raze saw her naked body. Killjoy calcuates when everyone is awake and asleep, so she’s given some privacy when getting her midnight snack.

Did Raze see her curvy figure? She placed her hands on her hips, observing how nice they curved. Did Raze get a good look at her ass? Killjoy kept observing her body, checking herself out a bit.

Okay, Raze was cute. Just a little, not enough for Killjoy to want to pin her down and kiss her senseless.

No…definitely not that far.

Killjoy kept trying to tell herself that she’s straight. But her heart was yearning for something else. She had never found guys attractive, maybe dating a guy or two in high school, but only really out of pity, and the guys never got kissed by the German’s lips.

Maybe she doesn’t want anyone at all?

Raze had come over a couple days later. She brought over Sova, and Phoenix and Jett finally started dating. Alexander, who prefers to go by Sasha, made beef stroganoff for everyone, and Killjoy simply watched in the background, unnoticed.

“Yo Raze, you got a good aim. What’s your body count?” Neon asked, hanging over the couch.

“It’s two or three. I don’t remember when I last slept with someone.” Raze said sheepishly. “Only one woman though.”

“Huh. Women.” Yoru glanced at Skye. “You sapphic?”

“Yeah. I realized I don’t care for guys at all.” Raze continued. “I didn’t really love the people I did it with.”

They were talking about fucking. Killjoy felt her face heat up. She was really hungry, and that stroganoff smelled really good. The German silently inched her way into the kitchen, trying not to get noticed.

“Oi, you’re out of your room!” Neon shouted at her, scaring the living shit out of the German. “Come and take a seat on the couch.”

“Uh, no thanks, I’m okay.” Killjoy said nervously. “I just wanted something to eat. May I?”

She took a plate and sped off back to her room to just listen to their conversations. Killjoy wanted to join them, but she always felt nervous around Raze. Her heart started pounding when she heard them talking about women’s body parts, even asking the men what they prefer.

“Raze. Boobs, thighs, or ass? What are you into?” Neon asked, grinning.

“I’m personally into thighs. They make nice pillows.” Raze said. She then asked Neon the same question, getting boobs as a reply and then they asked Sova, then Phoenix. Sova said he wasn’t interested in people.

Maybe Killjoy was like Sova. But there was no way her heart would race when Raze mentioned she liked curvy hips.

“I’m straight…” Killjoy told herself. “Dating women is weird. It’s not normal…”

She had gone home for the weekend. Her dad was watching television about some sort of LGBT+ movement. She had made bratwurst for herself and for him, and sat down.

“Klara, I’m wondering. You haven’t genuinely loved anyone and you’re already in college. Are you a lesbian?” Liam took his sausage from her hands, the German having gotten frozen up by the question.

“I uh, I don’t know…” Killjoy trailed off.

“Well, in case you are, I just want you to be happy, alright? Just to give you peace of mind.” Brimstone patted her back, trying to relax his daughter. He took the house cat and put him on her lap, the cat shocked at first but then content to be with the German.

She watched the protest go on about normalizing LGBT relationships. Killjoy genuinely was starting to question herself. “Dad, I don’t know what I want when it comes to people…”

“Kid, maybe you need to get out more.” Brimstone said lightheartedly. “Talk to your roommates, they seem like a lively bunch.” He passed her a Coke, which she declined respectfully. “I know you’ve never been the social type, but maybe try it out. Live your life a little more.”

Killjoy nodded. “I’m gonna go out. I’ll be back by dinner.”

“Glad you took my advice to heart, kid. Stay safe.”

Killjoy sat on the bus, her eyes on the repair shop. She saw a couple of women holding hands on the seat in front of her. But she wasn't uncomfortable by it. In fact, she thought it was cute. One of them planted a kiss on her lover's cheek, and Killjoy couldn't help but watch. Her stop was here and she got off, looking back at those women.

"Eh? You're back? Last time, ya said this place stunk! What brought ya back?" Breach looked the woman up and down.

"Is Raze here? I wanted to return this." She handed him the hat.

"Nah, she ain't here right now. Went out with her blue haired friend. I haven't seen her around here anyways." Breach tried on the hat, and realized it was too small. "You reek of a city girl."

"Ja, I know. Don't get out much." Killjoy picked up a wrench.

"You wanna get soaked in grease? I could use some help in here. Lunch is on its way." Breach looked at her, waiting for a response.

"Sure, let's hope I don't blow up anything. And I'll need help."

Breach put Raze's hat on Killjoy. "Let's get to work."

Killjoy spent her time working on cars, completely free of charge, and quickly got the hang of it. Breach gave her some of the revenue for the day and some burritos because he ordered too many.

"You're not bad for a newbie." Breach said, throwing her a drink. "I've been here with Raze since the kid was little. She talks about you nonstop."

"She...does?" Killjoy looked at him, stunned.

"Is that surprising?" Breach copied her facial expression. "I can tell you everything you should know about her."

They shared stories over a dimly lit lantern. Raze had taken over the business when she was old enough, making sure she could do her job as well as Breach taught her, and she was a bright woman.

"She's always late to your school because the stoplights fuck her over. Girl runs all the way to school." Breach laughed.

Killjoy understood Raze a lot more after listening to him. She had never been so interested in someone before this.

How weird...

Chapter Text

"Hey, Breach. Kept up shop while I was gone?" Raze sat down. "Neon and I hung out at her place. Killjoy came home really late."

Breach was sipping on his drink, waving off the car he just repaired. "You're back! Look, Killjoy came by yesterday. Kid made herself useful and helped me out while you were gone. She ain't as much of a city slicker as I thought. Ha!" He passed Raze the hat Killjoy brought back.

"Oh, this for me? Thanks, Breach." Raze grinned and went to repair the next car, looking straight into the purple eyes of Reyna.

"Hi, Reyna. What's the issue?" Raze averted her gaze and looked at the car. It looked perfectly fine.

"Oh nothing. Erik ordered a meal." Reyna said, passing him a bag. "How's school going?"

"It's alright, thanks for asking, Reyna." Raze sat down. Sundays were always slow. Raze kept Reyna updated on her life, and how stuff is. A little creature wrapped around the older Mexican lady's shoulder, revealing a blue blob.

"Mateo...He needs to look after his pets more. I didn't know this one snuck into my car." Reyna sounded mad, but she was definitely softening up for the little creature. Raze reached out to pet it.

Reyna and Mateo, or Gekko, ran that restaurant that Raze occasionally frequented. Occasionally, a little yellow creature would carry one of their meals and plant it on the table, sometimes splattering Neon with salsa. The Mexican woman had gone softer for Raze since she was a regular, and now started to just stop by and talk.

They talked until Reyna had another delivery order to send. "Klara Böhringer. A dorm room, top floor. Got it. I will see you two later." She backed up her car and drove off.

Well, Killjoy definitely had good taste in food.

Raze looked over at Breach. "I gave her a couple burritos. Looks like she liked 'em. Good. She'll be wanting Reyna's food more 'cause of me."

"Man, you're turning her into me." Raze joked.

"She admires you, she said she loves how confident you are." Breach said blatantly.
“What?” Raze looked up.

“You heard me. We talked yesterday. She opened up a lot. Cried even. I was comforting her since she’s fighting a rough battle with herself.” Breach solemnly spoke. “It’s definitely internalized self-hatred. Killjoy is used to being perfect. And that one issue with her perfect image is that she’s learning she’s into women.” Breach looked at the car he was building for Raze. “I didn’t think that nerd could be so vulnerable.”

“I gotta help her with that.” Raze stared at the floor. “Although Neon might be better doing it. She helped me. Probably can help Killjoy more than I could.”

“Doubt it.” Breach said.

“Why?”

“Kid looks up to you. She probably even wants to make love with you. Have a future together. Girl’s got big dreams, she’s just pushing it back because it’s ‘wrong.’ Have you seen the protests recently?”

“Oh yeah I have.” Raze said, knowing she heard it from Neon.

“You know what to do. Make her feel comfortable about it. Coax her, help her through it. Coming out of the closet is difficult for anyone, trust me.”

Breach is pan. She forgot about that. He’s pretty open about it too. Raze stared in the direction of her school. “I’m gonna see if I can get Killjoy’s number.”

“You hadn’t thought of that before? Idiot.”

“She scared the fuck out of me while naked, this isn’t the stupidest thing I’ve done this year.” Raze rolled her eyes. “Man, hopefully my car gets built soon…anyway, see ya later Breach!”

Raze waved and ran off to the school, knowing where the German’s dorm room was. She texted Neon that she was coming over.

‘Ring the doorbell. Killjoy’s taking a shower right now.’ Neon texted.

Raze got let in, and saw that Killjoy’s door was open. She walked closer towards it and saw the bathroom door was also open.

Shit.

“Yo, Raze, perversion much?” Neon asked her quietly.

“I shouldn’t do it. But she’s so hot…” Raze murmured. She resisted the temptation and turned back around into the living room.

“You’re so down bad for her, huh?” Neon teased. “Top or bottom, Raze?”

“I want her to be a top, but she’s kinda submissive acting…” Raze groaned.

Neon giggled. “Hungry? Killjoy’s got some leftover bratwurst in the fridge, I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if you had some.”

“I’d share with her.” A German voice came from behind them. Killjoy walked out of her room, a tank top and a pair of boxers was the only thing she had on. Raze tried to hide her blush.

‘She wears boxers? God, that screams lesbian…’ Raze thought, getting a good look at the woman.

Killjoy handed Raze a bratwurst and they sat down at the table and ate. Neon had returned back to her room for she knew something romantic would happen.

“You look gorgeous.” Raze said, unknowingly letting those words slip out.

“Huh? Erm, thanks.” Killjoy’s face turned red. “I’m literally in my lounge clothing, but thanks.”

“Have you thought about the type of people you’re interested in? I know you listen in on our conversations.” Raze leaned back. “Oh, and you’re a really cool person, I’d like to be able to text you.” She quickly said.

“Hm…” Killjoy suddenly sniffled, trying to reply. “Raze, I don’t know. I’m conflicted.”

“Conflicted on your sexuality? I might be able to help, but.” Raze stopped as Killjoy’s eyes watered a bit.

“You okay, Klara?”

“Raze, I know I’m straight. Stop trying to push me.” Killjoy snapped.

“Huh?”

“Just leave me alone. I’m not interested in you.” Killjoy stared.

“But…”

“No. I’ve made up my mind.” Killjoy sounded really irritated. “I’m gonna keep looking for a man.”

Raze couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She slammed her hands on the table, ready to emotionally shout at Klara.

“Killjoy, shut the fuck up! Stop being a fucking closeted little bitch. I’m sick of you lying to my fucking face. You’re a fucking homophobe, AND you’re gay in denial. Just accept it, you piece of shit!”

Klara’s lip trembled. Raze realized what she said. “Klara…”

“Get the hell out of my home.”

"Klara I'm sorry..."

"I said get the hell out. What the hell does that dense goddamn head not understand? You let me live my own life, and stop fucking interfering, verdammt!" Killjoy shoved Raze back, directly out the door, and slammed it in her face. "Fuck you. Never come back."

Raze was speechless. "I feel like this isn't the first time I screwed up with Klara." She sat down on the stairs, looking out onto the garden.

"I'm so fucking mad at myself. I could just die, I screwed up my entire chance with her. I should've taken Breach's advice. Why am I so goddamn stupid?" Raze kicked whatever was near her, letting the pain soak into her foot.

"I'm too emotional. Just...fuck Klara. She's too much in her stupid head anyways. That idiot can't even have the goddamn balls to admit she likes women. She was so uncomfortable with homosexuality as a whole. I would be fine if she was fucking dead." Raze screamed.

"I hope you never find happiness, Klara. Go die alone." She kicked the door once, not knowing Killjoy was on the other side, sobbing her eyes out.

Killjoy cried for a couple hours. She barricaded her door, not that it was needed since the doors had keylocks for their room keys, but she didn't care.

She hated Raze.

She wanted nothing good out of Raze's life anymore.

She even wished that Raze would have another car explode that would kill her.

"I hope you're fucking happy with yourself, Raze. Go to hell."

In Neon's room, she, Jett, and Skye exchanged glances.

"What do we do? They're at each other's throats." Skye looked at the others.

"I don't know. Trying to make Killjoy come out was a terrible idea. Now I'm not even wanting to talk about women with her.." Neon gulped.

"I don't think we can do anything, Neon. We were part of the problem anyway. We pushed Killjoy's buttons, and made her pissed. She'll kill us on sight." Jett grimaced.

"Man, shit what do we do? Everyone fucked up..." Neon swore under her breath in Tagalog.

Chapter Text

Killjoy didn't show up for classes for a week straight. Her roommates hadn't even heard her come out of her room, so Skye kept her tiger out to keep an eye out for one of Killjoy's nightly snack runs.

And surely enough, it worked.

"Easy buddy, I'm just getting a snack." Killjoy said, having nothing but a pair of boxers on, due to feminine reasons. Her hair had not been brushed in two days, and she stunk.

Killjoy really needed to get herself together. She was losing it. Losing her perfect attendance, her perfect routines, everything. Maybe she wasn't meant to be perfect.

She processed Raze's words. Was she really just in denial? The way her heart raced whenever women were being talked about, how she got nervous around Raze, was she really just denying any possibility of it? Killjoy clutched the teddy bear in her hands. She didn't keep track of time and another door opened. Skye's Tasmanian tiger ran over to its owner, purring. Killjoy quickly covered her body up from the Australian's eyes.

"Oh, you're out. Good, we've all been worried about you. And there's a dent in our main dorm door. So that's something." Skye tossed her a shirt to put on. "It was mixed in my laundry somehow. Put it on, yeah?"

"I need to get myself together..." Killjoy knew she looked like a disaster in front of her housemate.

"The rest of us heard everything. You okay? Neon and Jett said they wanted to say sorry for pushing your boundaries."

"No, it's fine." Killjoy curled into the fetal position. "I need to know if I'm really being honest with myself."

If there was something the Australian knew, Killjoy doesn't like to lie. Especially when nighttime confessions are brutally honest. "You know yourself better than I do, Klara." Skye started. "What is your heart telling you? But from my perspective, I've never seen you so hurt over someone's words."

"Seriously? Hm. I'll go outside and think..."

"Not like that, let me clean you up." Skye insisted.

"Oh alright. I do need it, desperately. Heh." Killjoy let out a pained laugh. Skye washed her up as she rambled all of her thoughts out. By the end of the bath, it felt like a weight got lifted off her shoulders.

"I need to accept that I'm a lesbian, and I also need to swallow my pride and admit I have a crush on Raze. Never got her number even if I desperately wanted it, so I would look up her social medias when I was missing her." Killjoy rambled, sitting at the table.

Killjoy poured her whole heart out to Skye. In fact, she talked about so many emotional things that she had fallen asleep.

"I guess I'm postponing my run." Skye brushed Killjoy's hair with her fingers.

Whenever Klara would ramble about something, it always gave off sapphic vibes to Skye. She preferred girl bands tremendously over boys, and dressed like a tomboy would. Klara walked around somewhat swaying her hips in a way that seemed to try and impress someone invisible. She'd always talk about how pretty female characters were in video games they played, and didn't really think of the men as hot, unlike Sunwoo. Kirra put all of those memories and pieced things together way before the school year started. She was helping Klara walk out of the closest, taking her hand lovingly, and she didn't care about Klara's nerdy tech, they were still friends from high school.

Klara was definitely enjoying laying on her thighs.

Reminds her of the question Neon was asking about what body part Raze preferred. She smiled, knowing that when Klara walked in, her face was a tomato shade. Although Skye was more quiet in their friend group, she was much more observant of their fourth roommate.

Sometimes at 4am, she'd hear shuffling and heavy breathing coming from Klara's room. Probably testing out a new invention, if you know what she means. Those times, Skye would try to ignore it. Recently she heard Klara say 'Raze' during her "alone time." That solidified Skye's theory about the crush.

Unlike the others, Skye didn't push it.

She knew that Klara hated that part of herself. Living next to the woman and not having soundproof walls let Skye hear some interesting (and unpleasant) things. The German would wonder if she would ever marry a woman, worrying about how stigmatized she'd be if she ever came out, and more fearful episodes of worrying about coming out. Skye would've accepted her either way. She would accept Killjoy with open arms, because her sexual orientation didn't make her any less of a special person to the Australian.

"What am I telling you? Well, Killjoy knew the whole time that she's gay. She knew, but she acts like this because she's scared of how she'll be treated." Kirra said, to no one in particular. "You could never hate homosexuality, you are one." She ran her hands through the German's hair. "That façade of yours fooled everyone else, but you could never fool me. You're my best friend, anyways."

Skye knew that Killjoy couldn't hear her. But she wanted to say it in case she could. She moved Klara's head off so she could stand up, waking the German.

"Skye, who were you talking to?" Klara asked, rubbing her eyes.

"Oh no one. Good morning, sleepyhead." Skye smiled. "Wanna go on a walk?"

"Sure." Klara nodded. "How will I fix things with Raze though? I love her. And I wish my stupid arse didn't lie to her. I should've just told her I shared her feelings..." Klara's lip trembled. "I need her in my life. Kirra, help me."

Skye wiped a tear from the German's eye. "I'll do everything I can. But the most I can do is ask her to meet with you. The rest is up to you."

Klara and Tayane had intense feelings for each other. Kirra had been looking at their potential for a while, and she knew it could happen.

Well, Christmas was coming up. Skye started coming up with ideas to flirt with Raze, and Killjoy recited what she was going to say, struggling as she really wanted to cry because she hated that moment when she yelled and slammed the door in her crush's face. It hurt.

Killjoy dreamed of kissing the Brazilian's lips. She wanted to make out, and touch her, consensually of course. The German sat down fantasizing, and then snapping back to reality, looking at Skye. Her dad was right, she needed to get out more. Explore the world, meet new people, test the waters in romance, do it all.

She finally had felt content being herself. Raze has nice abs, a nice chest, and a round, cute, squishable face. Klara understood why Raze loved her job too, she enjoyed working on the vehicles. The German really wanted Raze with her. She missed her visiting.

This weekend was spent teaching Klara how to love herself. Skye kept giving her things to tell herself every day to make herself believe it.

"It's alright not to believe it all the time. Don't worry, as long as you know you'll rise from the ashes." Skye smiled.

Killjoy took it to heart.

And then the two goofballs showed up while Klara and Skye were mixing German and Australian cuisine. Killjoy had looked more stunning than usual, thanks to Skye and her more natural cleanliness techniques. Her hair had more dimension to it, and she smelled like Skye's conditioner, which was the fresh scent of mint. Klara personally liked lemon, so Skye ordered her a bottle of the same brand. She had a new outfit on, her clothes now had a custom look to them, themed after a duck, and her beanie matched to make a head.

Neon and Jett's jaws dropped. "Killjoy, holy shit..." They both said something along those lines. "Skye, what the hell did you do while we were gone?"

"I took a different approach." Skye simply spoke. "Y'all hungry? This food tastes fantastic. Klara's bots are doing the dishes."

Neon was flabbergasted. "Killjoy, you shut yourself in a week ago. What changed?"

"Skye helped me come to terms with myself. She coaxed me out of the closet. I'm gonna go talk to Raze later." Killjoy said nervously. "Don't ruin it for me, ja?"

Both women nodded.

"Don't worry, we learned." Sunwoo said, lightheartedly.

"Good. I do appreciate you two trying to help though. I mean it." Klara hugged both of her roommates simultaneously. "Sorry for all the shit I put you two through."

Neon patted her back. "Don't worry about it. Sunwoo and I always stir up trouble, haha- Ow. Fuck you." The Filipino had just gotten punched by Jett. "Hey, I'm being honest, you idiot."

Jett ignored her. "So you're sure you're comfortable being openly lesbian? If you need help with your confidence, we're here."

"Ja. If you girls didn't talk about women so much, I probably would have been still in denial." Klara laughed lightly. "Scheiße. I was crazy for ever thinking I'd date a man. They all look ugly."

"Not Jamie." Jett argued, only to laugh right afterwards.

The four of them spent some very needed quality time together. Neon had that burning question for Klara.

"Sooooo, since you're now confirmed gay, I need to know." Neon started.

"Boobs, thighs, or ass?"

"Well," Killjoy started. "I will just admit to Kirra right now that she has nice thighs and a nice ass. Muscular women are very attractive. Jett is a bit flat in the back, but it's still a nice figure..."

Kirra went red in the face, not being aware that Killjoy stared at her sometimes.

"Jeez, way to insult me like that." Jett rolled her eyes.

"Neon, keep up your workouts. Really brings up your attractiveness by 100. Abs and strong glutes make a beautiful woman." Killjoy smiled.

"But to answer your question, I like boobs the most."

Chapter Text

Raze hadn't gone to class either.

Even if Killjoy was a mess, she'd probably still go to class. "I screwed up, should've listened to you, Breach."

Breach drank his soda. "What did I tell ya, kid? Force never works."

"I was just tired of her lying straight to my face." Raze said, emotionally hurt by Killjoy.

She did know she screwed up. Klara wouldn't ever be her girlfriend. She'd find a man just like she said, and have a false sense of happiness. Raze was starting to realize she was being selfish and not thinking about Killjoy's emotions in that regard. The Brazilian messed with the wrench in her hand, as a Tasmanian tiger ran up to her and started rubbing its head on her leg. Skye quickly followed it, waving at Raze.

"Hey. You doing okay? I haven't seen you on campus in a while." Skye found a seat on a stool near Raze's workbench.

"I just hate what I did to Killjoy. She didn't deserve that. I should've read the room more." Raze sighed. "Is she okay? I don't want her to take my advice and off herself. Please tell me she didn't."

Raze was so worried about her that she started to sweat waiting for Skye's response. The Australian sat up straight and smiled.

"She's fine, don't you worry. A little mental training, and she's happy being a bendy straw." Skye looked at Breach, who was trying to bend his straw to get his drink out.

"What're you looking at me for?" Breach asked, making the other two girls laugh.

"She came out this week. I've been teaching her self love, so she can be happy as ever. And it's definitely been working." Skye smiled. "She's never looked so well put together until now."

Raze was happy to hear that. "Good. I hope so. But I don't think I'm the right person for her. I can let my emotions get the best of me sometimes, and I feel like our personalities will conflict for the worse." Her voice softened. "She's way out of my league. I'm nothing compared to how beautiful she is, and she deserves better than me."

“Don’t tell yourself that. You still have hope, if you wanna know what my roommate really thinks of you.” Skye smiled.

“H-huh?” Raze stared.

“She thinks about you more than she’d like to admit.” Skye started. “The shit I hear when I wake up, I swear. It’s…a bit disturbing.”

Raze couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Killjoy wasn’t just gay, the German woman was down so bad for her to even going to the point of sexual fantasies. Skye talked about Killjoy’s dreams about marriage, and knowing her ego would be destroyed when she came out and told Raze her feelings. Everything that the Aussie heard at 4am. Raze’s face became increasingly more red the more she talked.

“Wow…” Raze felt her face heat up more by the minute. “My god. She’s so pretty. I want to hug her and give her all the love in the world.”

“I’ll meet her up if she wants. If she’s prepared for some emotional crying.” Raze smiled, tears running down her cheeks. She felt hopeful again.

“I’m glad you’re happy about this news. Trying my best to help you both.” Skye patted Raze’s back.

“I wanna make her something. And can you help me figure out what to tell her? I wanna make it as empathetic as possible, to not seem like an asshole.”

Even if Skye had no relationship experience, she knew how to get into people’s heads. She understood what Raze wanted and coached her through the night, until Raze knew her phrasing. Skye knew how much both women cared for each other, how much they wanted each other, and how guilty both felt for the fight that they had. That’s what Skye knew, they had been so passionate to date, one was running from how strong her feelings were, the other was pushing too hard. She helped the two women find a balance in between their love, and figure out what’s best for them.

Raze was making a small trinket for Klara. “I’m working on this. Thanks for all the help. If you wanna go home, you can.”

“Righty-O. Good luck. Here’s Killjoy’s phone number. Contact her when you’re ready.”

Raze sat there and waited for Killjoy to pick up her phone. “Come on, pick up, you gay motherfucker…”

“Hello? Who is this?” The German’s voice on the end of the line sounded confused.

“It’s Ra- I mean, Tayane. Look, can we meet up sometime this week? I really wanna talk to you. Let’s have a heart to heart.”

“Oh, are you free tomorrow or tonight even? I can meet you whenever.” It sounded like Killjoy was ready. “Also, are you okay? I’m sorry for lying to you. I was just scared.” Killjoy sounded pained almost. Was lying to Tayane really that painful for her?

“Klara, it’s alright. I get it, and I feel bad for yelling at you. I was being selfish, not thinking about your feelings or emotions at all.” Raze held back a sob. “Let’s meet tonight okay? I can’t get this out of my head right now.”

Killjoy agreed to it, and Raze hung up the phone, putting the German into her contacts with a heart next to her real name.

“Klara, you don’t know how crazy you drive me…” The Brazillian murmured lovingly.

She dressed really nice for the occasion, knocking on Klara’s door to a very tired looking Neon. “If you’re asking, Jett beat my ass at Mario Kart.”

“I’m gonna beat your goddamn ass Jett, just you wait!” Neon turned out and shouted to a very hysterical Jett and Phoenix in another room. Skye appeared to be eating Chinese food.

“Good luck, Raze.” Skye patted her back. “You got this.”

Raze slowly pushed open the door to Killjoy’s room. She peered around, no sight of the German until that woman rushed up and hugged her.

“Raze, I’m so sorry. I screwed up big time just because of my ego. I should’ve just swallowed my pride with you. Please forgive me…” Killjoy sobbed into her shoulder, catching her off guard.

The Brazillian patted her shoulder. “Hey, hey. I’m at fault too, y’know? I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I took my anger out just because I was so desperate to get with you. You shouldn’t have to apologize for my mistake.” Raze started to cry.

They hugged for a while. “You love me, I know you do.” Klara stared into her eyes, wiping the tears from Raze’s face.

“And I have a confession to make. You probably already know, but I love you too.” Killjoy felt her heart pounding and her body was sweating profusely. Heat went to her face and down below as she looked away, flushed.

“You’re perfect.” She continued. “Perfect figure, beautiful personality, every little thing is perfectly calculated. How did I get such a perfect woman to sit next to me in class?”

Now it was Raze’s turn to start blushing. “Klara…”

“Tayane, you’re so far out of my league I don’t even know why you’d choose me over such gorgeous women at school…” Killjoy began to cry.

“What are you talking about? You’re out of *my* league. So smart, and cute, and perfect. I’m envious of how pretty you are. I don’t care if you just got out of bed, you’re so beautiful.”

Klara was so red that her ears were covered in tomato. “Verdammt, don’t flatter me like that…”

“Then how about this?”

Raze pulled Killjoy’s shirt to lock both women’s lips together. Killjoy was at first shocked, but then she embraced the kiss and passionately returned it, pressing Raze against the wall. Soon, she broke off the kiss, and Raze was smiling like an idiot.

“That was sexy, Klara. Do that more.”

“It was impulse. Sorry.” Killjoy put her hair behind her ear. “Did we really just kiss?”

“I’m not complaining.” Raze smiled. “And you’ve told me you’ve never kissed before? You’re a really good kisser. Kiss me more often.”

“I- uh, I will.” Klara nodded. “C-can we cuddle? I wanna relax, everything is heating up…”

“Yeah. We can cuddle. You’re so cute.” Raze took off the German’s beanie, making the woman do a cute little pout.

“Even more without your hat, gatinha.” Raze scratched her head.

“Hehe. You’re too kind…” Killjoy was blushing so hard. After a while, Raze got up and explored Killjoy’s room.

“Covered in advanced tech, nice, nice. Auto cleaners, that’s smart.”

“You have a gorgeous room, and a gorgeous smile.” Raze said. “Uh, these gadgets look a bit odd.” She picked up one of Klara’s handmade sex toys.

“Tayane, scheiße, don’t touch those!” Klara got extremely embarrassed. No one walks into her room without permission, so she leaves most of her inventions where she can see them.

Now Raze was here, checking the ridges on her favorite dildo. “Kinky, huh, gatinha?”

“I uh, erm…”

“Sorry. I’ll put it down. I didn’t mean to pry.” Raze said sheepisly.

“I hope I get to use them with you…” Klara said silently, trying to make sure Raze didn’t hear her.

“Well, do you want to?” Raze had good ears.

“Scheiße…uh, uh…”

She nodded, and they were off going at each other passionately. Making love consensually into the night.

And boy did they make a ruckus for the other women in the dorm.

“Holy shit…” Neon sat in her room, playing Smash Bros. with Jett. “Do I hear fucking?”

“Yeah you do.” Jett said nonchalantly. “Focus on trying to beat my ass, Neon.”

The two roommates played together up until midnight. They had to hear breeding like rabbits in the dorm room two doors down.

“Was it a good idea to get Killjoy out of the closet?”

“Skye said something about her being touch starved, so I think it’s good she’s getting the love she deserves.” Jett said.

With Skye walking in, the three roommates awkwardly looked at each other as they knew what their fourth was up to.

But for once, they were actually happy that it was happening.

Chapter Text

"Holy shit..."

Raze went home the next day, her legs extremely tired from sleeping with Killjoy. She remembered their conversation from that night after their love making.

"So, does this mean that we're girlfriends?" Killjoy asked, rubbing her shoulder from the hickeys Tayane had left on her.

"Yeah. I thought that was assumed." Raze laughed. "You gotta wash your sheets tomorrow."

"Verdammt, Raze. But I love you. Wanna stay for the night?"

Raze nodded. "I love you too, gatinha. Do you need anything?"

"A glass of water would be nice. Thanks." Killjoy hid herself in the sheets more. "I hope we didn't disturb the others too much."

Raze put on a shirt and a pair of boxer shorts that had been stripped off right beforehand, and left the room. Neon and Jett were screaming at each other, and the sound of "GAME!" rang in her ears.

"Oh fuck you, Neon." Jett angrily said as Neon laughed her ass off. The Korean saw Raze in the hallway, and greeted her.

"Hey! You're finally done. Jesus, you two really love each other." Jett smiled. "We were sitting in here playing games so the sound was drowned out."

Neon continued to laugh. "Oi! Hey Raze! Did you have a good time?"

Raze nodded, speechless, knowing they were teasing her. "Sorry about the ruckus."

Skye spoke up when Raze was walking with her to the kitchen. "It's all good mate. We get it."

Raze thought about a couple things that night. She was wondering if Klara was scared because it was her first genuine relationship, and Raze went a bit too fast. But Killjoy reassured her yesterday, and said she was okay. The Brazilian still couldn't get that off her mind, but the amount of days she hung out with Killjoy, and they had quickly become acquainted and then friends as this semester went on.

They kept things more wholesome as time went on, going on dates, seeing the sights of where she lived, and everything.

"Killjoy, I think I went too fast the day we started dating." Raze said it straight to Klara's face.

"Oh yeah? Why do you say that?" Killjoy gripped onto Raze's hand. "You know I was craving that same feeling, right?"

Raze nodded. "Yeah, but it's your first genuine relationship, I know sex can be, well...scary. And you don't have to hide it if you didn't really want it."

Killjoy was caught off guard. "Woah, wait, it was completely consensual, trust me. I wasn't scared, freudin. I'm not hiding anything from you anymore. I haven't been since we started dating, and I will say that I have loved everything you've done for me." She cupped Raze's face in her hands, almost on the verge of tears, and almost cried. "Don't doubt yourself, Raze. I want you to be as happy as I am in this relationship. So if there's anything I need to do for you, tell me. I'll keep doing my best to make you happy."

Raze kept thinking about that. It had been almost half a year since they became official. Killjoy did want more intimate moments, and they kept it balanced. Raze did sometimes still feel scared about Killjoy still being fake like she was when they were crushing on each other.

Until one night, when Killjoy was at her house, completely drunk.

"Tayaaaaane..." Killjoy muttered, while drunk. "You're very beautiful, very wunderbar. But I'm committed to my girlfriend, she's the only woman I ever want in my life."

What the fuck?

Was Killjoy drunk enough to not realize that her girlfriend was right there? But the drunken German continued to mutter.

"She's beautiful, amazing, everything that I want in life. You remind me of her. But she worries too much. I've tried to tell her that I'm not lying to her. I hate to lie, my friends know that..." Klara slurred her words, almost to the point of being inaudible with her accent, and then she took another large gulp of her beer.

"When she approached me, I was amazed. I was so lucky for such a cute girl to run up and be interested in me. And we became friends, sometimes fought, but got along. Ja, mein Gott, she is my light..."

Klara drunkenly talked throughout the night, telling Raze to her face what she loved about the woman, completely unaware that this woman WAS Raze.

"I worry about her, I worry that I'm too introverted for her taste. I worry that I don't tell her enough. Scheiße…" The drunk German started to cry. "I'm so attached to her. I want to connect with her. I want to be intimate, I need her with me. If she wasn't here, I would be in shambles. And I am in shambles, where is she? God..."

And Raze was shocked by that comment. Klara leaned against the Brazilian's body. "I want her here." She was now completely crying. "I came out, I wanted to be with her, but she recently hasn't seemed like she cares about me."

Was Raze really ghosting her that much? Drunken words are sober thoughts. Klara was pouring her heart out to Raze, not knowing that was her partner.

"I came out just for her. I became open about my sexuality for her. Waah..." Klara cried her eyes out. "I'm so disgustingly in love with a woman that doesn't feel the same way."

Another sip of her beer. Killjoy had at least six full bottles. She had been drinking a lot more lately, and now Raze knew why. The German only drank until she was buzzed only under extreme stress. Usually she just had a couple beers, but she drank half the goddamn pack.

"Scheiße…I should go home. Thanks for listening. I need to sober up." Killjoy dizzily stood up and started walking to the door, before Raze stopped her.

"Wait, stay here, you're really drunk. Let me help you sober up." Raze sat her down and she cried.

"I need to go home."

Raze couldn't keep her here. "Alright, I'll take you home. My car is here. Come on." She took Killjoy's hand and took her to the car.

After driving her home and putting her to bed, Raze talked with Neon and Jett about her situation.

"Seriously? Huh, she's very honest when she's drunk. I rarely see her drink til she's buzzed. Guess that's German blood for you." Jett leaned back.

This was the one time that Raze truly felt lonely.

She yearned for Killjoy’s touch right now. Killjoy’s soft, tender fingers, her neat hair, her brunette eyes. And she really took the German’s words to heart.

Raze never slept with anyone she loved until with Klara.

But she really felt sad when Klara was talking to her, drunk as hell. “I already hate myself for how I treated her. I don’t commit enough, and I know she wants a healthy, happy relationship. Damn, I knew that she didn’t deserve me.”

“Don’t say that.” Neon gripped Raze’s hand. “She loves you, and if you didn’t love her back, you wouldn’t be saying all this. I know how much you care, you just lived a rough life so you hide your emotions. Killjoy is pretty open when she warms up to people.”

Raze laid down on the couch. “Man. She deserves the world. And I wanna give it to her. God, I love that woman. I hope I can do more for her.”

“Go and cuddle with her.” Jett suggested. “I know her pin to her door.”

“Alright, let me in.” Raze got up and opened the door to the sleeping German. She kissed the drunk girl’s head and laid down next to her, staring into her eyes. “God, I love you. So much. More than you believe, Klara. And I’m sorry I haven’t been completely myself with you.”

Raze stopped as she heard drunken hiccups. “I’ll just sleep next to you. Tell you all this in the morning.”

Killjoy woke up the next day, realizing she got changed into her pajamas, and Raze was sleeping next to her. “What happened while I was drunk?”

Raze’s face had dried tears on it. She appeared to be in a dream. “Klara, please don’t leave. No, wait, come back…” was said.

Klara raised her eyebrows. Obviously she had thoughts about her relationship with Raze that had been going on for half a year, and the disconnect that came with it. Killjoy’s love language wasn’t normal, she had always been strange in some way, but even she noticed Raze’s spacing out.

It was hard being in a relationship with someone “normal.”

Killjoy played with Raze's hair, observing her beautiful girlfriend. "I'm too attached, freudin. I'll never leave you."

She kissed Raze's forehead. "If you do ever change your mind again about me, that's fine. I'll get over it."

Little did she know, Raze heard it.

"I don't wanna change my mind, Klara." Raze laid on the German's thighs, right where her shorts ended, her hair brushing against her pale skin. "I listened to you ramble while drunk last night, and I feel really bad about our relationship, so I wanted to talk to you and so we can work things out."

"Ja, please, Tayane, I would literally get on my goddamn knees for you." Klara spoke solemnly. "You're the first woman and person I have ever genuinely loved. Let's work things out, because I know you want this as much as I do."

"I do." Raze hugged her girlfriend.

They discussed their relationship issues and worked themselves out, both women explaining their backgrounds and trauma dumping their souls out onto each other. It lead to them being intimate, and not in a sexual way. They explored each other's bodies, talking about tattoos, piercings, and embarrassing birthmarks that both felt ashamed about. Putting their clothes back on, they just decided to go into the living room, and play video games with Neon and Jett who were now betting on Skye beating Super Mario Sunshine levels.

"I hate this shit, goddamn squid control." Skye muttered. "Oh, Killjoy, and Raze, wanna try this? Neon is winning a bet and Jett owes her lunch for the next week."

"Help me win this goddamn bet." Jett handed the controller off to Killjoy who attempted the speedy race with the squid. She managed to glitch out the game and beat the level in three seconds, laughing her ass off.

"Neon, you wanna make some adobo for a couple days?" Jett laughed.

"Fuck you."

"So, did you figure everything out?" Jett asked the couple, ignoring Neon's pissed off expression.

“Ja. Everything will be better from now on.” Killjoy said, asking to switch the game to Mario Kart. “We talked a lot.”

“Good to hear, you two. We get it, relationships are difficult. Even harder with how Klara behaves.” Skye said.

Killjoy got a bit nervous hearing that. “Is it weird? Skye…”

“Don’t worry mate. You’re perfect the way you are.” Skye patted her head.

“What’s up, Killjoy?” Raze kissed her hand. “You okay?”

“Oh, it’s just my psychological diagnoses. I always worry about being a little weird.”

“You’re so perfect. Don’t worry about it. Weird is amazing, gatinha.” Raze laid her head on the German’s shoulder. “I love you.”

They say love is blind.

Raze loved every one of Killjoy’s imperfections, helped her through her darkest eras, pushed her when she needed it, and was her biggest cheerleader with the flashiest sign and loudest hype scream.

That’s how she showed her love. By having Killjoy’s back the whole way through.

And Killjoy loved every second of it.

Chapter Text

Killjoy and Raze had finally worked things out between them, and then they were back to finally loving each other.

"Killjoy, after college, what are your plans?" Raze asked, leaning on the car.

"Heh, I don't know, freudin." Killjoy sighed. "Get a job, maybe start a family..." She blushed at the last part of it.

Raze smiled. "Well, I'd love to start that family with you." She took Killjoy's hand and smooched it, making the German blush. "You're my whole world, gatinha."

"Ja? Would you? I'd...I'd love that." Klara's face was smothered in red. "Can we?"

"It's up to you, my love."

Years later, Klara made a fireworks show for Raze that spelled out "Will You Marry Me?" Raze absolutely lost her mind that night, completely in love with the woman in front of her.

"Killjoy, you and me til the end."

"I will never let go of you, freudin."