Chapter Text
The loud ringing from the alarm is enough to wake him up, much to his distress. One hit on top of the alarm clock and he was already sitting on his bed, groaning. He almost choked on his yawn.
“Morning,” he speaks to himself.
Genya has yet to get used to this routine of waking up unbearably early and getting ready to arrive on time at his new workplace. To be fair, he didn’t know. He was so happy to finally land a job at a great and well-known company, but he didn’t know how hard-working life could be. Being an office worker is draining, even when he doesn’t do half the things his superiors do – yet. The mere idea of waking up at five in the morning every day to arrive on time for work is exhausting enough.
He stands up, walking towards his bathroom.
Had he known this, would he have taken the risk and said yes to this job? Considering his situation, he would’ve done it anyway. Anything is better than the place he used to live for sure. Love his family all he does, there is a point where you simply need to live and fend on your own.
After taking a quick shower, he goes right to brushing his teeth. He takes a better look at his face in the mirror.
Only his face.
He doesn't look anywhere else, not even at the shadow that stands behind him, trying to catch his attention.
“…” He continues with his task after a short pause.
Yeah, that’s an issue too. And it can probably be playing a crucial role in his tiredness after the first three months working at the office. Genya has had this… thing… since he was very young. Probably since birth. After all, his first memory is that of facing a ghost.
He remembers the time it happened, at the tender age of four years old. Genya was playing in this park near his home, all on his own. A similar shadow as the one he sees today showed up, and it scared him to no end. He remembers getting home pale in fear, sweating cold after running back home. It can easily be considered a traumatic experience, to be honest.
Today, seeing ghosts is rather a small inconvenience to him.
Just ignore it like you always do, he tells himself, spitting out the toothpaste after brushing his molars thoroughly.
They inflict no harm on him. Some just stand there in the corners, some talk in hopes he listens, some rummage around, playing with his stuff. The fact he can see them poses him as a magnet for spirits that are caught in the mortal world. At first, he used to help them, get them to solve their grudge and finally leave this world. However, it’s an exhausting job and he gets no benefits out of it. He’s not a hero, so why bother in saving everyone?
He gave up on his mission to help each ghost and spirit reach their salvation years ago. So, what he does now is simply ignore them and pretend they don’t exist, continuing with his normal day like it’s nothing. Though, and he noticed it now, they’re everywhere.
Genya sees them on the walk to work, and the train station is flooded with many like these too. At work, he can see some that are stuck on the terrace; he knows why. In the apartments he lives in, a couple wander around, some inside his apartment, some outside on the street. If his teenage goal of helping these souls was to get them all to reach nirvana, he was absolutely wrong.
To some degree, he’s glad he gave up.
He checks his watch after putting on his usual workplace suit: a white shirt, black pants, and a tie. Right on time, and with minutes to spare. There's no need to hurry today, is there? Genya grabs his backpack with all his essentials and leaves his apartment behind. Well, if you think about it, it's not really lonely, is it?
Every day when he leaves his place, he performs a ritual. “I'm leaving,” he says, a habit that he developed after being exposed to the afterworld at an early age. His experience has made him skeptical, and he believes in following patterns and relying on luck to ensure that he makes it through the day unscathed. This practice has served him well throughout his life, so he sees no reason to abandon it. Even though he lives alone, he still announces his departure and arrival, as he always has.
He walks through the street as it grows in size and the buildings get taller and taller. There’s just a little more time before he arrives to his train station and gets to start his working day. Thus far, things have been pretty average, leading to an actually good way to start the week. It’s cloudy, just the way he likes his day. He can feel the wind travel to the sides of his head, patting his shirt and playing around with his hair. His mood improves greatly once he leaves his house.
Genya’s phone interrupted his walk, buzzing at an unexpected hour. He gets text messages from time to time, but that’s a strange occurrence lately. His friends are busy with life, not always having the time to chat with him. He appreciates it, though, because his energy plummets easily when he has to chat with anyone, let alone before work.
He takes his phone out of his pocket, reading through the notifications and finding it was nothing but the weekly bulletin from his workplace. He sighs; that really interrupted his good mood for a second. He indulges nonetheless and reads the whole infographic.
Since his eyes are focused on his screen, he makes use of his peripheral vision to spot if there's anyone walking the other way with which he might collide. Genya dodges anyone who gets in his way, immersed in the text that suddenly took an interesting turn to the next events that will be held by the company. Soon they'll hold some awards. I wonder if our department has something to do with it, he thinks to himself as he continues reading his phone.
It's way too late when he notices there's someone walking on the same track as him, but in the opposite direction. He can't avoid the possible collision and freezes, bowing immediately. “I'm sorry,” he says and continues walking.
The person doesn't say anything until Genya walks some steps forward. The man turns around and yells, “You can see me?!”
Shit.
Genya’s walking speed increases, his phone long forgotten, though he’s still holding it with both hands. He pretended not to hear anything, as he always does. To be honest, he didn’t feel the energy of this ghost, reason for why he initially thought it was a human. How did that even happen?
Plenty of spirits showed up in front of him, but none were powerful enough to manifest in full form. They were often blurry dark spots or lights, never showing a face, let alone a body. It was strange, like this was an actual human being trapped in the afterworld. That can’t be the case, for those who are trapped are usually people like him, normal human beings that can see and talk with the dead.
What is all of this about, then?!
“I know you were talking to me!” he speaks, quickly walking towards Genya with an anxious voice. “I know you did! Don’t pretend you don’t!”
Genya still pretends he doesn’t hear him. His walk stops abruptly at the red light in front of him. Bad timing, he thinks, smacking his tongue. The ghost is now by his side, insisting on being heard.
He waves his hand in front of his eyes, “come on! I don’t know what’s going on, I need you to help me!”
Evidently, he doesn’t answer, not even when the person walks in front of him. The ghosts usually give up pretty quickly, Genya has learned that over time. For as long as he avoids eye contact, he should be fine. This one is tough, he thinks.
The man standing in front of him, not giving up in the small interaction they had, is rather young. He can tell he was around his age when his death happened. Given his clothes, it must have been pretty recent, or at least somewhere in the last two years. He’s wearing a heavy jacket over a white shirt with a printed design he can’t make out. Black jeans, white shoes. Red hair, red eyes too. Tanned skin, and a nasty scar on his forehead.
Genya locks eyes with him for half a second, quickly averting his view towards the never changing red light.
“I saw that!” he points at him. “I’m sure I saw that! You can see me!”
Why isn't he leaving? Genya thinks. How is this guy not taking the hint? There must be someone else who can help him, not a random guy who is currently walking towards his workplace. Is he really that bent on the idea of getting help from anyone that he refuses to give up on him or something?
Maybe… no, no. This guy is desperate, sure, but Genya can't give in to him. He needs to continue his day normally. No more extraordinary experiences helping ghosts, no. He left that life behind years ago.
“God, I can't…” he sighs, hands on his hips as he looks elsewhere. He seems on the verge of giving up before he suddenly came up with an idea. The man, who's just a little shorter in height, walks forward one, two steps. He slowly begins leaning closer towards him, going straight for what seems to be a kiss.
Now, Genya knows this is a ghost. He knows it; he can now tell he's a ghost. This guy doesn't really belong here; there's an odd vibe to him for sure.
But what if he isn't? What if the person who will take away a kiss from him is nothing but a strange guy having some sort of psychedelic meltdown? Is this a prank, maybe?
Before he thinks of how that could end, Genya steps back, groaning. “Agh! What the hell wrong with you?!” he yells. Luckily, there's not anyone around, so he can get away with cursing all he wants.
“I knew it!!” he cheers, victorious.
The light changes.
“Fine! I can see you, good for you. But I won’t help you. So now please look somewhere else, I’m busy now,” he says before crossing the street.
“Aw, really?! After all my efforts…” he continues to walk behind him, catching up quickly. They walk side by side towards Genya’s destination, his own patience running out pretty quickly.
No, he won’t give in to this dude. He refuses to. He left that life behind; he really did. There’s no reason to make an exception, not even when this spirit's strength is so strong that it can manifest in a near-physical form. Even if this whole idea piques his interest, he won’t indulge. He’s a grownup now, for god’s sake! He shouldn’t be playing with this childish side of him, the whole hero play. He’s sure someone else will save him, exorcise his soul, even. Not Genya, anyone but Genya.
What he didn't take into consideration, however, is that this ghost is sure refusing to give up for what Genya gave up years ago. The guy has followed him all the way to the train station, traveled with him the whole time they spent inside the wagon, and is now sitting in front of him, watching him from above his desk. Genya won't talk to him, not in this place at least. The guy seems to know his position, or at least how the workplace operates because he hasn't said a thing since he set foot in the office.
Good, he thinks. At least he won't hear his annoying voice throughout his shift. Maybe by then, he might eventually give up and leave, who knows?
…
He won’t. He won’t give up.
“Are you really not leaving?” Genya finally speaks after a whole day not saying a word towards the ghost now standing by his side. He holds the doorknob to his apartment and stares at him with a pained expression. How exhausting… this guy doesn’t know any limits. Maybe he’s taking advantage on not being alive anymore, doing things that are unthinkable for the living.
“No, I’m not,” he answers, beaming. “Word says you used to help ghosts like me get into the afterlife, so I have been looking for you everywhere! I won’t give up easily!”
Of course, there would be such a rumor. Given that the spirits don’t really have a perception on time, he can tell they forgot to mention he just doesn’t do that anymore. He’ll have to remind them one by one. “I don’t do that anymore. Please stop bothering me.”
He opens the door and walks inside, closing it immediately after he walks does so. He knows some ghosts are weak enough they can’t do the funny thing of walking through walls, though deep inside he knew this one…
“For the love of God,” he groans after seeing the same man once he turns around. He’s standing there, frown on his face. “What do I have to do for you to leave me alone?!”
“I’m not asking for much!” he pouts. “I just need your help, that’s all!”
He groans again, throwing his backpack on the floor. “Fine, fine!” he gives up.
For the first time in years, he gave up on his vow. If there’s anything Genya lacks, it’s the patience to deal with people like this dude. Persistent assholes who can’t take no for an answer tire him out, and he often ends up giving them all they want.
“Really? Woohoo!” he celebrates, raising both hands. “Will the exorcism hurt? I have—had a really high pain tolerance... I don't know how it works now that I'm dead—”
“I'm no exorcist,” he takes off his shoes, walking past him and towards his bedroom. The man follows him in silence. “All I need to know is your grudge, and only then I can help you.”
“Grudge?” he asks.
“Yeah,” Genya sits on the edge of his bed. On his night table, there’s a notebook he keeps hidden under many filler books. “The reason you’re here. Is there anything you regret not doing in life?”
“Ah…” he’s awfully quiet all of the sudden. “That’s the thing…”
“What.”
The ghost is fidgeting on his stance, almost as if he’s struggling to explain his situation. “The thing is… I don’t really remember anything about my life.”
“I should’ve guessed,” he can’t even get mad. There is clearly a powerful force that’s holding this ghost into the world of the living. Evidently, there was a high change he didn’t remember the reasons for his prolonged stay. Whatever is holding his soul hostage seems to be stronger than a grudge, and he writes that down on his notebook. “How long have you been around here?”
“I’m sure it hasn’t been longer than a year,” he answers, a little shy.
As he expected, this won’t be over tonight. It’s been a long time since his death, and he already lost his memory. What will he do in the little time he has between work and home? He can’t tell. He simply writes everything down on his notebook and pretends he knows what he’s doing.
What he can guess for the get go is that his death must’ve been so traumatizing he ended up forming a great bound to earth. That, or he was cursed by someone, and he cannot leave the world of the living. Either way he’ll have to figure it out quickly or he’ll be stuck with this guy for longer than he wants to.
“What do you remember? Your name? Age? Anything?”
“I do remember my name, yes. My age…” he doesn’t.
He sighs. The little information this guy gives him makes it more difficult to handle. “So, what’s your name?”
“Ah!” he realizes he never said it before. “My name is Kamado Tanjirou.”
“Kamado…” he tries to look through his memories and connections to see if he can reach someone from that family. He comes back empty handed from the search inside his head. He’ll have to look it up eventually, as well as if there’s any news on his death.
“Will that be enough?” he asks after he stares at Genya taking notes.
“Not at all,” he replies, not raising his view from his notebook. “All I know is your name and that you’re dead.”
“Dead…” he repeats. “I mean, that’s obvious but it hasn’t really settled in…”
Genya sighs. It is difficult for sure, knowing that you’re dead. Luckily, he hasn’t experienced that yet, and he’s making sure he seals all his wrongdoings and regrets in case it happens before his expectations. He fears to stay stuck like these souls and hopes to get to the afterworld with no issues.
He more or less understands how this Kamado guy might be feeling. “Do you remember anything from the day you gained consciousness as a ghost?” he goes straight for the wound.
“I do…” he’s standing still. “I seemed to be wandering around mindlessly until I reached a place I didn’t recognize. When I tried to ask people around, they all ignored me.”
“Well, they didn’t see you for sure,” he writes that down as well. It was a sudden death, which is the only thing that’s sure in this whole situation. A car accident, a sudden health issue, a freak accident. He theorizes again to see what the next step could be, what should he ask next. “When did you notice you might been dead?”
He’s quiet for a second. “I thought I was dreaming for the longest time. Only very recently I noticed I could be dead,” he’s evidently sad about it. “I wanted to go back home, but I couldn’t think of anyone to return to. Then I realized why that could be.”
“Why did it take you so long…?” he speaks to himself very often, so he didn’t notice he said that out loud. He was simply thinking of all the old stories from the ghosts he helped, trying to find a connection he can use to solve this issue quick.
“I don’t know, okay?” he speaks with anger, but still softly. That answer gave Genya an idea that he was, in fact, not talking to himself, but to someone else as well. “I just… I thought I could get your help because all the other spirits I encountered told me so.”
“I quit that long time ago, I told you I couldn’t help,” he snaps back instead of apologizing. “I’m literally doing this because you couldn’t stop bothering me.”
Kamado sighs.
“Why don’t you look somewhere else, someone who actually works doing this?” he insists. “I’m literally just a guy working in the most boring office in the world, probably. I understand hearing old stories from other souls but why were you so sure I would help you?”
He hesitates in his answer. Kamado straightens his shoulders and speaks, “why do you think you can’t help me?”
“Oh, so this turned into a therapy session now?” he closes his notebook shut. Genya has had enough. “Great, now a ghost is trying to help me. What a joke,” he complains out loud.
He can’t answer the guy’s question, that’s all, and the mere fact he doesn’t know why he’s so angry about it makes things worse. Why doesn’t he believe he can help? There are countless answers, but the first one goes straight for his self-esteem, or well, the lack of thereof. He never really trained for all of this, often failing to help the dead before reaching the desired result. The fear he felt of making another mistake was one of the reasons that triggered his early retirement in this world, he can guess.
But he won’t say that to a stranger, he won’t. Not someone who already has such a difficult case, a situation going on that’s so bizarre not even Genya can comprehend the entirety of it. It has no head, no body, nothing. Every possibility of an answer leads to an empty alley, a dead end. He may give up without even trying.
Angering spirits is some of Genya’s best features, and that hasn’t changed today. Some of them would curse him, others would pester him for weeks, some would go as far as torment him during nights. But he didn’t bother, he didn’t care. That was his very own, unique way of setting a boundary – be an asshole.
But this guy, this guy…
“It sure is a shame that you ended this way…” he walks forward, no noise coming from his steps. “Look. I’ll try to remember to help you. First, you go to sleep. I promise I won’t bother you!”
“What?” he’s baffled.
“Yes, I’ll stay around…” he turns, looking for a place to stay. “There,” he points at the door, probably meaning he’ll wait outside of his bedroom. “I’ll stay there, and I won’t bother you at all until tomorrow morning.”
“You really aren’t giving up, are you…” Genya pinches the bridge of his nose, sighing loudly. He gets it, alright. A trapped soul in the living world, one that lost its memory and is strongly bound to earth. He, too, would be desperate enough and not give up at the small chance of getting his issue resolved. “Just go already. I’ll think of things to ask you tomorrow on the way to work.”
“Really?!” he’s beaming. Maybe he was simply pushing things too hard, knowing Genya would disagree and tell him to fuck off – was an option, after all –. The ghost of Kamado Tanjirou seems genuinely shocked and happy on trying it. “Ahh, what a relief, truly!” he hops on his site.
“You’re dismissed,” he doesn’t want to see this guy any longer. Not until tomorrow, where he’ll be mentally prepared for the whole ordeal of helping out another wandering soul.
“Right away!” he almost yells at him with his rejuvenated energy. He walks away hopping on each step, humming a song that soon lowers in intensity until it can’t be heard anymore. Genya doesn’t know where he left, but he won’t complain now that he finally got his second of peace.
His night routine begins now. Genya takes off his clothes and puts on his loose pajamas, something he bought with his first paycheck. He brushes his teeth, his hair, washes his face and takes a long look at his eyebags, increasing in size, darker in color. He spits the rest of the foam and takes another look at the mirror. There’s no shadow behind him tonight.
He turns around, shocked. How weird. Now that he noticed it, since he met the ghost of that Kamado guy, he hasn’t seen any other weak spirits around him. Matter of fact, they aren’t stalking him anymore. That, or their strength got reduced enough they don’t show themselves anymore. Has he ever seen something like this before?
He places his toothbrush neatly on its reserved site, inside a purple cup whose only purpose is nothing but holding his brush and toothpaste. It’s already some minutes past his bedtime, which could be the first time he breaks his routine. On any other day this would spark immense anxiety in his heart, but he’s just so tired right now he simply wants to sleep. After all, it won’t be the end of the world if he doesn’t do any of these things step by step this time.
That would be the first time he thinks that way.
As he sits on his bed, he takes another look at his notebook. His notes resemble everything Kamado Tanjirou confessed earlier. He reads each bullet point slowly.
Forgetting, that’s one item on Genya’s list that caught his attention the most. It doesn’t leave his mind at all for as long as he thinks of the guy wandering outside his bedroom right now. Forgetting your own death, he thinks, that sure is a pity.
As he lays on his bed, covering himself under the neat white sheets, a strange feeling clouds his mind. “Is there something I’m forgetting as well?”
It leaves as quickly as it arrives, as he enters the dream realm in no time.