Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The clumsy, handmade decorations around the apartment were colorful, taped together by small dedicated hands. The table was set neatly, covered in all of Rei’s favorite foods, a result of Kazuki’s carefully shelved knowledge from the past three years. 

“I have something worth protecting, too.”

Kazuki patted him on the back.

“C’mon, Rei.” He grinned. “Happy birthday. Dig in.”

He shuffled to his seat, staring down at a plate that was steadily being piled up with his favorites. Kazuki placed the best parts of the chicken in the middle, surrounded by a big helping of fries. Rei watched him think about sneaking in a handful of salad at the side, and his heart warmed.

Familiarity , he thought. Just when did being cared for in this way become familiar?

He thought of instant ramen cups and convenience store bentos.

He thought of greasy slices of pizza and fries.

He thought of the trash he used to leave behind, living in the mess, rotting, rotting , rotting…

“This is your home,” Miri said, rubbing sleep from her eyes.

“...yes.”

When did he stop rotting?

He stared down at the plate Kazuki made for him.

(He did end up putting salad on the side.)

Kazuki caught him staring at the salad.

“It… it is your birthday,” Kazuki mumbled, as if every word hurt him. “So… I guess you don’t have to eat it. If you don’t. Y’know. Want to.”

Rei opened his mouth, but no words came out.

How could he possibly thank him? For cleaning? For cooking? For giving Rei a home ?

How could he thank him for caring?

He stuffed the bite of salad into his open mouth. Kazuki stared at him, eyes wide and face beaming.

“Thanks, Rei!” Kazuki leaned forward, chin in his hands.

“...It wasn’t much.” It really wasn’t. He really wasn’t (isn’t). And yet, Kazuki looked happy.

Familiarity, Rei thought again, relishing in knowing Kazuki’s real smile. Root word, familiar. Latin root, familiaris, familia, family.

He ate the rest of his food, tasting artificial grease and preservatives (but no rot. not anymore.).

He blinked slowly at the apartment, watching the bold colored furniture and decorations blur into colorful spots. He leaned back in his seat, breathing in the scent of detergent (Kazuki must’ve done the laundry today), glue (Miri must’ve spilled some), and joy.

His vision darkened. He opened his eyes to find Kazuki standing over him, blonde hair illuminated by the light falling in wisps around his face.

(An angel, Rei’s mind supplied, unbidden.)

Warmth spread in Rei’s chest.

“You really are similar to Miri.” Kazuki snorted, rubbing a finger between Rei’s eyebrows to soothe the wrinkles there. “Falling asleep the second you’re done eating— it makes me worry about that girl’s future…”

“Miri’s better than I am,” Rei replied, a thousand hidden meanings under the casual tone. “She’ll grow up well.”

“Yeah.” Kazuki looked at the— their little girl sleeping on the couch. A warm hand moved to Rei’s shoulder. “She will. She’s better than me too, you know.”

“That’s true.”

“Hey!”

Rei snorted.

Silent, they both watched the steady rise and fall of their daughter’s chest as she sprawled on the couch. The party hat on her head was crooked, drool dribbled down the side of her cheek, her hair clung to her face and fanned out on her pillow…

Rei thought she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

“Well, time to get the kid to bed.” Kazuki sighed, quietly shuffling towards Miri to pick her up. He lifted her, careful not to disturb her sleep, one large hand on her back, and another under her legs. Miri’s head lolled on his shoulder, and her drool stream relocated to Kazuki’s sweater. “Woah, woah, woah, hey! Ugh, I just washed this jacket…” He grumbled, but the look in his eyes was fond.

Perhaps it was the late hour. Perhaps it was the way Kazuki’s soft hair looked in the dim living room lights. Perhaps it was the two of them, standing in the middle of what used to be rot, holding each other, a silent promise to stay.

Rei got up from the table, wandered to Kazuki, and buried his face in his other shoulder. He took a deep breath— laundry detergent, dinner, and Miri’s drool— and wrapped his arms around Kazuki’s waist.

“Rei—? What—” Kazuki didn’t stiffen, but his voice seemed pleasantly surprised.

“...thanks.” For coming for me. Three years ago, tonight… tomorrow. For caring. Rei squeezed Kazuki tighter, as if the pressure against his ribcage would make him real (sometimes, Kazuki didn’t feel real— he was too caring, too loving, too good for someone like Rei).

“Anytime.” Kazuki leaned into the embrace, melting in Rei’s arms.

Oh. Rei blinked, the thought like a warm gust of wind. I love him.

Once the dam broke, the tide rushed out.

I love him. I love him so much. Rei squeezed him tighter. He’s my home. Storge, philia, eros, all of it, he’s all of it. I adore him.

“Rei…” Kazuki whispered, and Rei felt the breath on his head. “Did… something happen?”

“I’m ok.”

“Ok. I won’t ask, then.” And he didn’t. As if it was that simple.

“Kazuki…”

“Hm?”

“Thank you,” Rei murmured into his shoulder. “Really.” 

He held Kazuki for one moment more before he pulled away, greeted by the sight of Kazuki’s pink cheeks and smile too big for his face.

“You’re welcome.” Kazuki buried a hand into Rei’s hair. “Thank you to you too.”

“I don’t…”

“You do. You’ve kept me safe.” Kazuki snorted. “Ask Kyu-chan. Before we were partners, I got a gunshot wound, like, every other mission.”

“That’s just because you were incompetent.”

“ Were? Aw, Rei, I knew you appreciated me!” Kazuki joked, tugging a few strands of Rei’s hair.

“I do.” Rei leaned into the touch, daring to press a kiss against his palm. “I do appreciate you, Kazuki.”

“Oh.” Kazuki blinked.

Rei watched, entranced, as a pink flush traveled from Kazuki’s neck to his cheeks. The sensation of a smile tugged at his cheek (it was getting more and more familiar, now).

“I, uh. I. Yeah.” Kazuki looked anywhere but Rei, pulling away. “Anytime, buddy-o.”

“Did you just… do finger-guns at me?” Rei sighed.

“...yeap.”

“Yeap?”

Chapter Text

“And he, like, he kissed my hand,” Kazuki rambled, burrowing his face into his hands, “but maybe it wasn’t a kiss but like a, maybe he just turned his face into my hand and then his lips touched my hand— friends do that, right?”

“Kazu…” Dorothy glanced at Carol, who was stifling giggles next to her. “You paid us for an hour to talk about this?”

“I mean… yeah? I guess.” Kazuki mumbled, embarrassed. “But we can totally, like, play cards or something. Sorry.”

“No, I didn’t mean–” Dorothy cut herself off with a sigh.

“Friends don’t kiss each other’s hands, Kazu!” Carol finally chimed in, beaming. “Why didn’t you tell us you got a partner?!” Carol punched Kazuki in the shoulder.

“He’s just… we’ve lived together for a couple of years—”

“And they were roommates,” Dorothy whispered to Carol.

“Omigod they were roommates,” Carol faithfully replied.

“ — and I… you know, I thought he was… good looking—obviously, I’m not blind— but he clearly wasn’t really interested in me the way I was in him, so I thought nothing would ever happen, and now he pulls some shit like this—” Kazuki raised his voice, suddenly angry, “ —and now I don’t know what to think!”

“You had a crush on him?” Carol teased, smug.

“That’s so embarrassing for you.”

“Shut up, both of you.” Kazuki snorted. “He’s… you should see him work… it’s incredible. He moves like a fucking acrobat, and he’s strong as a bull,” Kazuki’s eyes went dreamy,  “but at home, he’s just some loser who loves video games way too much, and he can’t cook or clean, and he’s like this blob that’s like, how did you even get to become an adult?”

“You’re down bad.” Dorothy grinned.

“I—” Kazuki flushed pink. “...I know. I just like everything about him, you know? He’s trying to change, you know, for… whatever. And he’s crazy smart too, if he tries, like his memory is insane. And he’s actually really funny, surprisingly, and his voice, god— sometimes I just hear his voice and I wanna kiss him. It’s so unfair.”

“What if you did?” Carol asked.

“Did what?”

“Kissed him. When you felt like you wanted to. That’s what he did, right?”

“But, what if he kissed me in a platonic, I appreciate you way, and I’m kissing him in a wow I actually want to be around you forever and maybe hold your hand and go on a date with you kind of way?”

“What the fuck is a platonic, I appreciate you kiss?” Dorothy sighed.

“I don’t know!” Kazuki threw his hands up. “I never know what he’s thinking! His childhood was kinda fucked up, and the things he thinks are normal really really aren’t, so it could totally be something that maybe he does!”

“Kazu… you’re really fucking stupid.”

Kazuki barreled on, completely ignoring Dorothy. “And I’ve been showing a lot of restraint already, you know? So it’s not fair, when he does something like this— you didn’t see him, he just hugged me out of nowhere, and he just held me, and it was so fucking nice and he was so fucking cute, and he’s actually really fucking ripped, so being held just felt so so nice—”

“Is our hour up yet?” Dorothy whispered to Carol.

“Hon, we’ve got a long way to go.”

…

Kazuki gripped the bag of groceries tighter. It wasn’t a big deal, really. Just a little thing. Just give it to him.

He opened the door.

“I’m home…”

“Mn,” Rei replied from the couch, eyes glued to his video games. Even like this, with his hair disheveled and his clothes oversized and droopy, Kazuki thought Rei was beautiful.

In a few strides, he walked over.

A little Morio Kart keychain fell into Rei’s lap.

“I saw it at the store. Thought you might like it.” Kazuki avoided eye contact, but glanced at Rei’s reaction.

Rei blinked at the figurine, stunned. “You… know which character I play?”

“I mean, yeah, I walk by you playing that game 24/7.”

Rei stared at him. “...thanks.” 

A muscle in Rei’s cheek twitched. Adorable. Kazuki wanted to kiss it.

“What if you did?” 

Carol’s words rung in his head.

Kazuki breathed in.

He sat next to Rei on the couch, and Rei shifted to make room for him. Kazuki didn’t let him. He scooted closer to Rei until he felt the warmth of Rei’s shoulders on his. His heart pounded in his ears.

Kazuki leaned his head against Rei’s broad shoulders, trembling.

God, he’s so warm. He feels so nice, he smells so nice, I’m going to die, I’m going to die—

Slowly, Kazuki felt Rei lean into the touch.

The familiar victory chime of first place sounded in the TV speakers. Rei’s character pumped their fist in celebration as highlights of the races played behind him.

“Nice job, Rei,” Kazuki murmured.

Rei’s cheek muscle twitched again, and Kazuki didn’t hold himself back this time.

He pressed a quick kiss into Rei’s cheek.

Rei froze.

“Ah,” Kazuki stammered, backtracking, “Sorry about that, I just, uh, you can just ignore that, um, woah, would you look at that— it’s dinnertime! I better get started on the, uh, the dinner before Miri gets back, huh—”

Kazuki shot out of his seat, ready to change his identity and run away to a foreign country.

A warm hand grabbed his wrist and pulled him back down. He fell on Rei, straddling his hips. Their faces were only centimeters apart.

“Rei?” Kazuki whispered, dazed. Rei grabbed hold of Kazuki’s chin.

“If you’re not ok with this, tell me now.”

Kazuki could only stare back.

“Kazuki? Are you ok?”

“Yeah,” Kazuki replied, breathless, “Yeah I’m, I’m super ok.”

“You’re sure?”

Kazuki sighed and smashed their lips together. Rei tasted like the breakfast he’d made that morning, like warmth and home and belonging.

He pulled away with a wet pop, breathing hard.

“I’m sure, Rei.”

“N, nice.”

“ Nice?”

“Better than yeap.”

“God, shut up. ”

Rei smiled. “Make me.”