Work Text:
When Rosinante comes to awareness, he's sitting on the floor in front of the couch, hugging his drawn-up knees. Law is hovering over him.
"Cora-san?"
Rosinante shakes his head.
Law's entire demeanor softens, like he's dealing with a spooked horse. "Rosinante." He reaches out.
Rosinante's hand shoots out to stop Law from touching him. Law freezes, and the two of them stare at where Rosinante is gripping Law's forearm.
Rosinante lets go and draws back into himself. "Sorry," he mumbles. "How's your shoulder?"
"It's fine," Law responds calmly. "Cora-san helped me pop it back in."
Rosinante nods in acknowledgement. He's glad Law had someone dependable by his side.
"I missed you. You've been gone four days."
"You had Corazon."
"Yeah, but I missed our breakfast ritual." Law's lips twitch with amusement. "Cora-san burns everything. I swear, he could set a bowl of cereal on fire."
Rosinante can't even muster up a ghost of a smile. How can he smile after he hurt Law?
"I'm sorry."
Rosinante blinks. That should be his line, not Law's.
"I pushed you before you were ready. I hurt you," Law concludes. He makes an aborted move to reach out again before he forcibly puts his arm down. He sighs and sits cross-legged on the floor, leaving enough space between them so Rosinante doesn't feel crowded. "I take full responsibility, so please don't leave."
"I'm the one-" Rosinante starts.
"Only because I put you in that position," Law cuts him off firmly.
Rosinante's pathetic, letting Law take on the blame. What kind of man can't handle getting a blowjob from his boyfriend? He only needed to sit there. He didn't even need to enjoy it.
"Do you want to talk to your therapist? I can call her for you."
Rosinante shakes his head. He doesn't want to bother her off-hours. And besides, "They're going to take you away."
They've been over this before.
"It was an accident. She's only going to intervene if she thinks you're an immediate danger to others. Or to yourself." Law's voice is laden with concern. "Are you thinking of harming yourself?"
Rosinante shakes his head again. That requires energy he doesn't have.
Law still looks worried. His fingers twitch restlessly. "Do you want to talk to me about it? I'm not that kind of doctor, but I'm here to listen."
The silence stretches out.
Rosinante mumbles into his knees.
"Can you repeat that?"
"It wasn't an accident." Rosinante makes sure to enunciate his awful words. "I knew what I was doing. I just didn't care in that moment. I wanted to hurt you."
"Yeah?"
It's not what he's thinking. It's not Doffy choking him when Law wants it rough, debasing him with demeaning words meant to excite.
It's not remotely sexy. They're ugly, the thoughts inside Rosinante's head. They would devastate Law if he were to say them out loud. Part of him wants to do it for that exact reason.
"We should stop trying. You have Corazon and Doffy for sex."
Law studies him as he searches for the right words. "I could be okay with that," he says carefully, "if that's what you really want."
It's not. But sometimes it's too hard. It's easier to give up than try and fail.
Law's palm brushes against his cheek as he tucks blond strands behind Rosinante's ear. Law runs his fingers through Rosinante's bangs to comb them away from his eyes.
"Your hair's gotten pretty long," Law notes absently, continuing his gentle grooming.
Rosinante leans into the touch. "I'll go get it cut."
"Don’t. I like it like this." Law presses a kiss to his temple. "So soft and fluffy, like you."
Rosinante has literally killed people. But then again, maybe Law has, too.
"Can I tell you a secret?"
Rosinante nods.
"This is the healthiest relationship I've been in," Law confesses and Rosinante snorts out a laugh. He can't help it. It's so ridiculous.
"I'm serious." Law's smiling. "I feel like I can tell you anything."
"Like what?"
Law kisses him again, this time on the cheek. "Like, you're my favorite. Promise not to tell Cora-san?"
"I bet you say the same thing to him."
"Well yeah. You're all my favorite."
"Even Doffy?"
Law makes a face. "Maybe not Doffy."
"He'll be crushed."
"He'll get over it."
"I won't tell Doffy either."
"See. That's why you're my favorite. Such a caring man."
Some days are harder than others. But Law's there to make them a bit better.