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“Armin”, he heard a whisper right by his ear and then felt someone shake him lightly. “Wake up.”
Armin was a light sleeper, so the moment Connie touched his arm, he already was awake. He groaned quietly and shifted on his bed. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, to see Connie watching him in the darkness.
“What is it, Connie? Is everything alright?” He whispered with concern, “You don’t seem well.”
“Wha? Ah, no, I’m okay. It’s just. Can you go to the kitchen with me?”
Armin looked at Connie with a confused face.
“Alright, but…”
Connie grabbed his hand and waited for him to get up. Then, they both silently got out of the dorm room, trying hard not to wake up any other cadets. Connie seemed nervous, Armin noticed as much as he could, still sleepy. Very alert, always looking around, not wanting to meet Armin’s eyes.
When they reached the kitchen, Connie let go of his hand. He walked to the counter and reached into the shelf, taking out a milk carton. He put it on the table, now searching for something else in the cabinet across the room.
The world was so quiet now, Armin noticed. The sky was the colour of greyish blue, the day only now beginning to start.
“Are you sure you’re fine? It’s very early in the morning. Have you even slept tonight?”
Armin approached Connie slowly, the boy now sitting by the table was pouring the cornflakes he obtained into a bowl. Armin sat opposite of him, looking very concerned (and tired), as the other ate the meal he prepared eagerly. Connie looked at the blonde, sighed heavily, and turned his gaze away, the spoon left in a bowl with a clank.
“I haven’t.” He confessed.
“That’s awful, I’m sorry. Something on your mind?” Armin rested his head on his hands.
“You can say that.” Responded Connie, looking down.
Having a moment to look at him closer, Armin noticed how Connie looked at that moment, and the only word that would describe the expression on his face was pure sadness. His eyes were terribly swollen and he looked so pathetic Armin almost laughed from pity. The laugh did not escape his lips, however, instead, he extended his hand and presented the palm of his hand to Connie. Feeling a hesitant touch, Armin softly grabbed the other’s hand to stroke it with his thumb. Connie looked uncertain.
“Armin…”
“Yes?”
“I think I may be into guys.”
“Oh!” Armin jumped a little from surprise. He stopped for a second. Connie liking men was a bit surprising, since he was so big on impressing girls, but not unwelcome. When he saw the panicked look in Connie’s eyes, he giggled gently. “Connie.”
“Wuh?”
“That’s fine. I like men, too, Connie. I’m gay.”
“Oh.” Connie let go of Armin’s palm and embraced himself, embarrassed. “Oh.”
“Yeah.” Armin fiddled with his fingers. Connie chuckled and smiled, looking down at his bowl.
“Guess we're both into smooching boys, huh?”
“Yeah.”
“Yea.”
That was nice, Connie thought. It felt good to say his thoughts out loud. He sighed, the sigh relaxing his shoulders, but making his face drop.
“That’s okay, right? I mean, for me. I can like guys, right?” A confused smile appeared on Armin’s face. “Not that I… don't accept you or anything. I respect you and who you are and stuff, but is it okay with me?”
“Why wouldn't it be?”
“It's just that… I thought girls were hot for most of my life. Those things don't change like that, right?” Connie snapped his fingers, his gaze fixed on Armin’s. The blonde frowned.
“I don't think so. It's alright to figure yourself out. Maybe you always found men attractive, just didn't want to admit that.” Armin stated with confidence.
“How was it for you?”
Armin sighed a little, relaxing into the wooden chair. He looked slightly embarrassed, turning his stare away from the other boy.
“Well, I…” He looked up at the ceiling, his face turning slightly pink. The voice came out hushed. “I realised I don't… Swing that way… When I came to know Eren.”
Connie’s eyes widened. Then he let out a dry chuckle.
“You had the hots for Eren? That's so embarrassing, dude.” Armin turned red at this point.
“Hey, come on! He’s still an attractive guy. I don't like him that way anymore, though.” He said with big eyes, turning his gaze anywhere besides Connie.
“I guess you're right. He’s kinda hot.”
With that statement, silence fell. Connie smiled lightly and thought about the absurdity of the situation they were in and let out a laugh, careful to be as silent as possible. Flustered, Armin did the same.
“I kinda can't believe we're having this conversation right now,” Connie said with a smile. “I feel better, though.”
“That’s good.”
Connie approached Armin, standing up from the chair. He put his hands on his shoulders.
“Thank you.” He whispered.
“Anytime.”
Connie gave Armin his hand.
“Come on. Let's go back to bed.”
Since that conversation, Armin noticed some things that he had never seen before. He wondered since when Connie’s eyes followed him as frequently as they did now. It did not bother him - not this, nor the extra amount of time they were spending together. Armin was grateful that Connie had become more open towards him. He became charmed by the boy. The things he’d do for him were cute.
Connie’s love language was gift-giving, which became apparent when he started baking. Apparently, he had asked Sasha to teach him some of her recipes. So now, whenever it was Connie and Sasha’s turn to cater to the cadets, they surprised everyone with even more and more extravagant desserts. Every time Connie baked goods, he’d put one away, just to give it to Armin on their evening break. Armin thought Connie’s baking was delicious, and anytime he complimented it, one could expect the boy to turn into someone bashful, constantly tripping over his own words, the opposite of what he was on a daily basis.
As the two started being closer to each other, they began to spend almost every break together. Even though they had different types of interests, they found something to bond on every time they hung out.
So when they started hanging out even more than normally, it felt natural. Studying together felt equally natural, like for Armin to share his interest in the vast world behind the walls. Connie would listen to him, then, and follow his words carefully, interested in what he had to say. Armin’s help wouldn’t be one sided, though, as Connie started to help him out with their hand to hand combat training after lunch. Connie was very patient with him, Armin noticed. Even if Armin wasn't the best in psychical activity, Connie would never judge how he punched, or the funny way he tried to kick his opponent. Armin was very grateful for that fact.
It only felt natural, when one of those days Armin and Connie were out in the training fields. With Armin throwing weak punches, and Connie encouraging him.
“Throw me to the ground, dude,” he said. Armin frowned. “Come on.”
“I don’t think I can do that!” He protested, while still holding his guard up.
“Let me show you how you should do it.”
“Wha- Connie!”
Connie held his friend by the waist and, as gently as he could, tackled him to the ground. Armin yelped, but when Connie looked down at him, his face lit up with a smile.
“Idiot!”
“Hey, at least now you know. You’re welcome.”
Armin stayed silent for a second. Connie let him slide softly on the ground, but still holding his hands to the ground.
“Hey, uh…” Connie avoided Armin’s eyes as much as he could while being inches apart. “We should, like… Go out.”
“On a date?” Armin's answer was quick and eager.
“On a date.”
Armin felt his breath shorten. He closed his eyes, opened them and closed them again, meeting Connie’s hazel ones.
“...Yes.”
“Yeah?”
“Let’s.” Armin smiled bashfully. “Let’s go out.”
“Cool!” Connie coughed. “Cool.”
When they returned to their daily activities, none of them could stop thinking about the other’s eyes.