Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

He had been falling for ages. Moving unnaturally slow, sinking lower and lower into the abyss. Lars couldn't see it, but he could feel the space beneath him growing colder with each passing minute. He had experienced something like this once - before waking up minutes later, just to find out that, while his soul had gone out for a smoke, his body changed its image a bit. For much… pinker color.

Sometimes, he flew. Up. To the side. His body twitched like a puppet suspended on a string, rose slightly in space and then fell again, throwing arms up and down. The hazy sensation of dizziness experienced when an elevator rushes downward, took over his consciousness for a while.

Such a horrible feeling…

 ***

“…so we were trapped. Beryl was just about to call the guards when Captain suddenly appeared behind her with a gun, and he’s like: trick or treat, sucker! She grabbed her belt… but her weapon was already gone! You should have seen the look on her face! Hilarious!”

Rutile burst into a loud laughter, slamming her hand down on the control panel. Her twin sister winced but, fortunately, the ship had been on autopilot and the controls were locked down. Still, they wouldn’t want to waste time on repairs afterwards, right?

“Careful, please! Nobody will thank you for breaking the panel…” she warned, drawing a serious expression on her face. But then resumed their story, “By the way, have you guys noticed Rhodonite’s great pilot skills when she got us away from the hunters by hiding behind the asteroid line? 

“Of course we did! Who'd have thought she could pilot the ship like that… When did you learn this, Rhodonite?”

The fusion, sitting in the copilot's seat, looked away and chuckled, fluffing her curly hair nervously. Although Rhodonite refused to admit to having such a habit, she often did so whenever she was embarrassed.

“Oh, come on now,” she said. “I just panicked and did everything automatically. There wasn't much time to figure out where to go or how to fly…”

“Geez, I wish everyone could panic like that!”

The subject of the heated discussion taking place in the control cabin was the latest mission, for which the space pirates had been preparing for a whole month… The first part, the theft of the valuable cargo from a spaceship belonging to an old acquaintance, went surprisingly smoothly. A bit like taking candy from a baby, so to speak! Now the task was simple: to take a short pause, lie low and wait for the path to be clear so that they could deliver the cargo to the new recipient. In the meantime, why not spend your free time relaxing and chatting?

“You think they already… told Emerald… about the missing cargo?” Fluorite asked, catching a moment of silence. Rhodonite glanced at the radar screen just in case, to make sure there was no enemy ship lurking around. The updated detection system was sensitive to even the most elusive objects — neither a cargo frigate, nor a fighter jet, nor even a tiny exploration capsule should have passed by it… As expected, the Sun Incinerator drifted all alone, lost in a thick cloud of cosmic gas and sheltered by a dense chain of asteroids.

"If she already knew, there would be tons of incoming messages from her by now. Beryl's probably still trying to figure out how to soften the bad news. Poor thing."

“Sometimes I even feel sorry for her,” one of the twins said almost sincerely. The other one giggled, as usual, continued her thought, “Maybe it's time for us to find another victim, eh, Captain?”

"Uh huh, we'll see that… when pigs fly."

The gems turned their heads to the captain’s chair. Lars sat there relaxed, leaning back and bouncing his leg. The map and some blueprints rested on his lap, but he wasn't particularly interested in them – he just stared mindlessly at the papers and smiled, listening to hiw crew's little chit-chat. 

"Also, we didn't choose any victims," he added as authoritatively as possible. "It's just Emerald's fate, you know? Always looking for trouble."

"A fate? Really?" Rhodonite snorted skeptically. They obviously had a choice: between Emerald's cargo ship, which was under the command of one of her most formidable officers and was filled to capacity with guards - and a small warehouse that was conveniently located on Alcora and was practically unguarded. Seemed unlikely it was just a fate.

"Yup," Lars replied calmly. "Someone must've cursed her." 

“Ah yes. A very specific curse: always running into us, no matter what part of the galaxy she was.”

“Exactly.”

Rhodonite put her hand on her cheek and concluded after a moment's thought,

"It smacks of stalking, Captain…"

Lars shot her a stern look full of sincere indignation, but fusion had already turned away, hiding a sly smile behind her puffy hair. Muttering indistinctly to himself, he leaned back in his chair, but didn't get a chance to relax again. With her characteristic enthusiasm, Padparadscha popped out from behind his chair and asked: 

"So we're not space pirates anymore? We're space stalkers?"

“Wha- No, Pad, don't listen to her!”

"Well, now we definitely have to look for new victims. To restore the good name," Rutile summed up, giggling. The captain of the ship exhaled slowly, trying his best to look angry. But who he tried to fool…

While the gems continued their conversation, Lars glanced at the thick glass. He hasn't really counted the days, since he left Earth with his crew. He assumed it's been months already… Years, maybe? At first, he couldn't shake the stupid feeling that the decision to leave his home behind was too spontaneous: he missed his parents and friends who stayed on a small blue planet, his everyday life and his little bakery shop. But nevertheless, the longer he stayed in space, the lesser he worried. Life among the stars and planets was filled with so many events the entire captain's log would not be enough to remember! Piracy, chases, rescue operations, research… He already had a lot to do, to worry about. The depths of endless space became his home. And he couldn't think of a better home, frankly…

“Well, I hope you guys had a good rest, because it is time to get down to work,” Lars got up from his chair, drawing his crew’s attention. “We need to deliver the cargo to the Teta-4 before Emerald discovers it's missing.”

“That's right… She would never let it go that easily,” Fluorite nodded, slowly moving towards her seat. The others followed her example and soon everyone returned to their respective stations. The buzzing silence that had been in the control cabin until now dispersed immediately: all the elements of the ship's system started returning to life, rustled and crackled, like a giant dragonfly preparing to take off. All the monitors lit up, flooding the surroundings with a diffused greenish light. The captain of the Sun Incinerator put the papers away, turning his attention to the work of his crew.

“Nova thrusters are all set, Captain. Turning the hyper-speed mode on,” Rhodonite said, tapping her fingers on the keyboard, entering commands line by line. Lars nodded.

“Thanks, Rhodonite. Twins, did you shaped the direction?”

"All the data has been uploaded," they replied. "We ready, Captain!"

Lars nodded once more, glancing at the image of the star chart displayed on the monitor. The journey to Theta-4 promised to be long and pretty exhausting — especially when Emerald finally hear the latest news. Still, the pirate couldn't help but smile smugly, anticipating the entertainment to come. He couldn't wait to stick it to the boastful general!

"Great. Now, set the course for-"

beep.  beep.  beep.

Lars froze, when a monotonous sound interrupted him. It took him a moment to figure out what the sound meant, though he'd heard it many times before. Rutile twins and Rhodonite exchanged glances in silence. The top of Fluorite’s head showed up from downstairs – her calm voice barely audible above the noise of the signal.

“What… happened?”

“Captain, I had a vision! We will soon receive a distress signal from the nearest planet!” Padparadscha gasped and turned to Lars, hands clasped together. Her bangs covered her eye as usual, but it wasn’t hard to see she was troubled. The gem was always so excited about her late predictions, but this time even she wasn’t smiling. No wonder. The radars didn't show any planets nearby.

“Ah… thanks, Pad,” Lars frowned, but continued. “Put it on screen.”

“Yes, captain.”

The keyboard keys under her fingers clicked quickly, broking the heavy silence. Soon a three-dimensional schematic image of the planet appeared on the main monitor of the ship, which made all the crew members tense up. So it wasn't a system glitch after all… A moment later, a faintly flashing dot also displayed on the diagram — the presumed location of where the signal came from.

A distress call from an unknown planet… Lars never refused to help strangers from the other planets, but right now, when they put themselves in a potential danger, he would prefer not to stay in one place for too long. Furthermore, what if it was a trap? Come to think of it, the Off colors have stolen a valuable cargo from a guarded ship just a few hours ago, but the cargo owner still did not react to this yet. And then there is a signal for help from the nearest planet. Doesn’t it sound too suspicious?

But still…

Damn.

“Captain?”

Distracted from his contradictory thoughts, Lars realized all the members of his crew were looking at him, waiting. He closed his eyes and exhaled slowly before concluding:

“We will not respond to the call.”

“What? Why?!” Rutile twins exclaimed in surprise.

"Good timing, too good even, I'd say. Looks very much like a trap. Wouldn't want to risk out safety…"

"But captain…"

“Unh-unh, no buts! We’re going to Teta-4. Period,” Lars flopped back into his chair. He tried to put as much confidence into these words as possible. His crew should’ve know it was useless to argue! But he underestimated them this time.

“Who would use the distress call for the sake of luring someone into the trap?!”

“Um, anyone, Rhodonite? It’s a foul play. A lot of people take advantage of it…”

The fusion crossed one pair of her arms over chest, and got the other on her hips. Rhodonite rarely posed like this, but when she did, Lars knew that clearly — it would be very difficult to beat her in this argument.

“You've seen all these asteroids and space junk floating here, right? Someone could’ve just crashed into it and make an emergency landing…”

“Or Beryl could've tracked us down, hid on this planet and lure us with a false distress call.”

“Captain! There might be people or gems up there who need our help! We could be their only hope!”

“That’s just your assumptions,” Lars tried to protest, and yet, began to wonder. Will he be able to sleep peacefully, knowing that he refused to receive a distress call? The area was quite deserted, and that’s why Lars set a course here, to lay low in the early hours. But if Rhodonite was right, it meant they could be the first living things who received this signal in years! If they ignore it, then-

Cursing silently to himself, Lars looked up at the monitor, where the image was still spinning, flickering, as if it was about to disappear. Perhaps it's for the best? On the other hand, the Off Colors would never forgive themselves for it… Lars noticed that his crew members, silent and tense, were still waiting for his decision. As always, a final word on the captain. Isn't it?

"Do we have the exact coordinates?"

"I was able to download them from the device transmitting the signal, Captain," Padparadscha informed quietly. When was she planning to tell that if he hadn't asked? Whatever. Lars took a deep breath.

"Good. Save all the available data and transfer it to the navigation bar. Twins, turn around. Set a course for a new planet," he finally gave the order, trying to ignore the doubts that arose in his heart, as well as the encouraging voices of his friends. Lars hated changing his plans so abruptly, but circumstances forced him to do so. Every goddamn time.
If only it turned out to be the right decision.…

He was just hoping he made the right decision…

Chapter Text

The Sun Incinerator made a smooth landing on a deserted area in the middle of the forest. Lars deliberately chose a place at a good distance away from the distress signal location. Even if at first sight the planet they landed on seemed to be uninhabited, Lars preferred to be careful. Better spend a little extra time walking than spend a lot of time fixing the ship. Just like last time… but that's another story.

As soon as a thud under the ship informed the crew that they had touched the ground, the Off Colors immediately began preparations. They were used to it already, so Lars didn't even have to hand out any instructions. Rutile twins and Rhodonite knew very well what weapons and equipment should be taken with them. There was, perhaps, only one thing that captain Lars never tired of repeating.

“Whatever happens, the main thing is, be careful, everyone. Fluorite, Padparadscha, you stay on the ship. Do not venture outside under any circumstances. We'll contact you before going back. Got it?”

“Yes, captain,” Fluorite replied slowly. “You too… be careful outside.”

“We will. I never take risks without a good reason, Fluorite, you know it…”

An ironic laugh interrupted Lars before he could finish his thought. Rhodonite wrapped the gun belt around her hips and slid the weapon into the holster, then shook her lush hair indignantly.

“Said the guy who rushed to save his cloak from the planet during the volcanic eruption!”

Lars rolled his eyes to the ceiling.

“Oh come on, Rhodonite! Every time. I can't have this conversation again.”

“Really? I found two gray hairs that day, captain… And I can't even turn gray! Physically!”

Perhaps these two would have continued the argument further, but Padparadscha's delayed reaction stopped them.

“Ay ay, captain! We won't open the doors until you contact us. Even to your clones!”

“Yeah, that's right,” Lars chuckled, totally forgetting about being mad at Rhodonite. It seems that Pad's sweet voice had some kind of calming effect on him.  “You better be on guard. You never know where you will run into shape-shifters again.”

Padparadscha nodded.

“We'll wait for you to come back!”

“It won’t take long. We'll be here before you know it,” Rhodonite gently patted her head.

The pink sapphire giggled, “That’s impossible!”

And so, after finishing the preparation, under the restless gaze of the friends who remained on guard, Lars, twins and Rhodonite got off the ship and disappeared in the dense forest.

As they walked along the path through the forest, carefully inspecting the surrounding area and peering into every dark alley they passed, they reached the outskirts of some village. Once a vibrant village, seem to be, but now most of the buildings were destroyed and overgrown with ubiquitous vine. Places, surrounded by dilapidated fences, were drowning in thorny bush, which crushed the gardens and orchards that had been laid out by someone in the past. Lars caught the sound of rushing water from afar — a turbulent river, perhaps… Or a waterfall even. Anyway, the remains of some building blocked the road to it, so he could only guess.

The Off colors have more than once found themselves on abandoned planets. But it certainly wasn’t something you ever get used to.

“This planet doesn't look like there was a Diamonds' colony,” said Rhodonite, wringing her hands nervously. “But what could have happened here then?”

“Whatever happened, I doubt someone still lives here. Right?”

All four exchanged worried looks with each other.

“Don’t get me wrong, but I’d rather prefer it to be so,” Lars frowned and looked up at Rhodonite. “Are we there yet?”

“Almost. The source of the distress call is right over that hill.”

The Off colors continued their way to the hill, covered with abundant grass. They soon reached the big empty field, dotted with yellow flowers. No crashed spaceships, no camps — no sign of gems or people, who could transmit a distress signal. Lars looked thoroughly around the field, covering his eyes from the blinding setting sun. Nothing. Just flowers swaying in the breeze.

“Is this some kind of joke? Rhodonite, check the coordinates.”

“I already did it! According to my data, we’re in the right spot, captain.”

“Are you sure?”

“The signal is clear, look for yourself!” Rhodonite shrugged her shoulders, as Lars looked at her screen in frustration. He wasn't planning on staying here for too long. There was no time for them to conduct search operations…

“Hey, there's something lying here!” twins exclaimed from afar. Lars and Rhodonite ran over to them, both looked over their shoulders. There was a small rectangular device on the ground, surrounded by all those flowers. It looked like a simple pocket transmitter with an antenna, buttons, knobs and a small screen in the middle. When Lars saw it, it seemed to be off, but after just a moment, the screen lit up and they heard a barely audible beep.

“Looks like this thing was transmitting the signal… But where is the one who left it here?”

“Maybe there is no one here already? The transmitter could just fall out of someone's backpack,” Rutile suggested.

“And turn on by itself? It is hard to believe that someone could have left such a thing on an uninhabited planet by accident,” Rhodonite objected.

The twins got up from their knees and folded arms over their chest.

“So, what do you suggest? Setting up camp, starting to scope out the entire planet to look for any survivors? That would put us in danger too…”

“But we can't just fly away!  Maybe we should go back to the ship and scan the planet?”

“Our scanners are not powerful enough for that. But,” Rutile glanced away. “Maybe Fluorite can customize it…”

Lars carefully lifted the device off the ground. Several flower stalks, tightly wrapped around it, broke and remained partially on it. While his friends were discussing options for further action, Lars took a few steps away, holding the transmitter in his hands.

“How long has it been here, I wonder?” Lars mumbled to himself, starting to clean the transmitter from dirt and ingrown flowers. “How does it even work in such a state?”

If only Lars knew that soon he would personally be able to check the device's workability, he would have given up what he did right now. He would just get it to the ship in this state - or maybe even left it where he found it.  But Lars could not predict the future. So he continued to carelessly pick between the buttons, trying to get the golden flower out of it. The finger slipped, pressing the button, which he was so eager to clean.  There was a click. A small screen on the transmitter lit up, and the captain of The Sun Incinerator disappeared from the field as if he never weren't there.

The strange device, that remained hanging in the air, fell and broke in half.

“C-captain?”

Rutile twins and Rhodonite glanced around anxiously. Though this was useless considering that they had witnessed all with their own eyes. But they refused to believe it.

“What… What happened? Did you see that? He was just here…” Rhodonite clutched her head, hiding her palms in puffy hair. The second pair of arms clasped in a strong lock, pressed against the chest. The fusion tried to calm her breathing, but she struggled to resist panic. “He was just here!”

The Rutile twins knelt down in front of the broken transmitter. But their fingers trembled too much to pick it up from the ground.

“The device is broken…” they said in a faltering voice.

“Oh no… no no no no! What are we going to do now?…”

Chapter Text

A strange noise shattered the silence. After a moment, Lars appeared out of nowhere, entangled in his own black cloak, floated in midair for a good 10 seconds, then splat right into a snowdrift.

“Cold, cold, cold, cold!!” he cried and jumped to his feet, dusting himself off and rubbing his shoulders. A shiver of cold ran through him. His captain's suit wasn't designed to deal with such cold temperatures and his boots were filled with snow. Lars never saw so much snow in one place… He forced himself to look around: he was standing on a snowy field, surrounded by powerful tree trunks, and it felt like there wasn't a living soul to be found for miles around.

So, what on earth happened anyway? Lars remembered a strange device… He remembered how he pressed the button by accident, a flash of bluish light blinded him… and that was all. Now he was here. Alone and completely bewildered.

“Guess the device t-teleported me somewhere… M-maybe, north side of the p-planet?” Lars wrapped in his cape, shielding himself from the cold wind. “S-s-screw this, I'm outta here!”

Pirate took a deep breath and cried out, summoning the pink spiral portal. Lars discovered this ability not so long ago, but he has been practicing a lot since then. Proud of himself, pink-haired stepped inside the portal, already imagining himself buried in blankets and drinking a big cup of hot tea. The last thing he needs right now is to lay sick.

But when the portal opened and Lars jumped hastily out of it, he once again found himself knee-deep in a snowdrift. He was so surprised he even stopped shivering.

“Okaaay… It’s nothing, just a… string of random accidents. Yeah! I'll figure it out,” the guy muttered in an attempt to convince himself. No time for wallowing! He's fucking captain Lars, after all! The most formidable space pirate in the whole galaxy, invincible and fearless! Of course he will figure it out! He's been through a lot worse than this. Well, he wasn't alone back then.

Wasn't alone…

“Exactly! I have a radio! Stupid me, I can still contact my crew!” Lars slapped himself on the forehead. The radio was fixed to his belt. Lars took it and immediately began to adjust the correct frequency… but no matter how much he tried, the device was silent. He tried to change settings. Reset also didn't work. The pirate's shoulders slumped as he realized the radio was broken.

“Okay, I’ll take care of it later,” Lars attached the radio back to his belt. He will probably figure out how to fix it, but for now… “First, I need to find my current location.”

He definitely had no other options. Lars hesitated a little bit, choosing which way to go. His instinct persistently pointed in one specific direction, so he began to move along the snowdrifts with wide awkward steps.

Lars used to trust his own sense of direction. It usually didn't fail him.

***

The forest seemed endless. Snow softly crunched under Lars’ feet, quickly covering his boots. The snow was coming down in big heavy flakes and it felt like Lars was just walking out into the woods on a calm winter day. It somehow comforted him. Lars was already accustomed to the fact that not all planets had that kind of nature like the one people usually portray in sci-fi films. Therefore, he was keeping himself from silly hopes that the transmitter teleported him back to Earth. The second reason why he didn’t believe that were the shadows of bizarre shapes, hiding behind trees and in snowdrifts. As soon as these shadows started to grow deeper, Lars realized that he was being followed.

He could've sworn that someone was tracking him, but he pretended not to notice the rustle. Just from time to time he dared to glance deeper into the forest, but the sounds died away every time he did so.

“If someone was going to harm me, he would have done it already,” Lars thought, continuing to wade through the snowdrifts, ignoring all the oddities and sounds that deliberately became louder and closer. However, when Lars finally reached a wide path, everything went quiet, as if he just escaped from the zone, possessed by some dumb spirits.

"Is it sprinkled with salt or what?" Lars felt a chill down his spine. Trying to keep his mind off these thoughts, Lars looked at the road ahead and pondered.

On the one hand, he was happy he found a road - after all, that meant there could be residential houses ahead.  On the other hand, it made him extremely nervous for some reason. But before Lars could weigh the pros and cons, he heard voices. He instinctively ducked down and looked around, determining which side they were coming from. The sound was muffled, but luckily, Lars had excellent hearing, so he had no trouble with that. Following the sound of voices, he quietly made his way to the snow-covered bushes and hid behind them. Who could that be, anyway? Alien gems? Or maybe Emerald’s henchmen?  Nah, the plan was too complicated for them… Curiosity pushed Lars to face up the danger immediately, but he refrained from rash actions, carefully peeking out from the bushes instead.

He saw a simple wooden structure, consisting of only a couple of walls, a table and a roof, which immediately caused Lars to associate it with an observation station. There were two strangers. One was sitting at the table: short, wearing a big blue hoodie, pale enough to blend in with the snow around him. He was chuckling and joking in response to his interlocutor's comments about him being all lazy and "not doing his own job". He was sitting with his back to Lars, so he could only see his wide back and his head, which was completely bald and smooth as a bone.

Horrified, Lars realized this was the bone. Or more precisely, a skull.

He reached his hand to the belt, searching for the weapon, but there wasn’t any. Lars panicked for a moment, but forced himself to calm down with sheer willpower. Then he tried to get a good look at the second stranger, but he was hidden behind a flimsy wooden roof of the station. Lars couldn't see anything but red boots with black fasteners, looking insanely bright against the white snow. Almost mesmerized by this, Lars sat still, holding his breath.

“…And don't forget to check the traps in the western part of the forest, you lazybones!" the owner of the red boots shouted at the end of the conversation, before running into the forest. Luckily for Lars, in the opposite direction.

However, when the meaning of his words reached him, Lars knew he was screwed. He needed to get out of here as soon as possible. Better try to avoid meeting this-

But his internal monologue was interrupted by the crunch of snow behind. Lars looked back to the station and felt his heart sink: there was nobody there. And at the same moment, a deep voice sounded right in his ear:

“Human. Don't you know that it's rude to eavesdrop?"

Chapter Text

It has been a long time since Lars was so scared. The last time it was right before he died and has been resurrected as a pink zombie. But as time passed, that situation seemed far less frightening than what was happening right now… Lost, alone and unarmed, Lars just froze in horror, feeling a cold breath behind him. All the fears he had (including even the monsters from the horror movies he hated so much) flashed into his head one by one, blended together into one crazy image that must have been behind the poor pirate's back, waiting impatiently for the moment to show itself in all its glory. Lars should've turned around before he made himself hysterical with his fertile imagination. But his whole body went numb…

“What's the matter? Don’t you know how to greet a new pal?” he heard the low, husky voice again. “Turn around and shake my hand.”

Still standing on with his knees half bent, Lars slowly turned towards and forced himself to look up at the stranger. His face was hidden in the shade of a tree, which prevented it from detailed examination (Lars had no wish to stare at him anyway). He wasn't too tall, and his plain clothes - a baggy blue hooded jacket, wide shorts, and slippers (freaking slippers!) over thick socks - smoothed the creepiness a little. And yet there was such a powerful aura of danger around him that Lars felt like a pitiful ant compared to the colossus… Meanwhile, the stranger was already offering his hand to Lars, waiting silently for his next move.

Lars hesitated for a while. Should he follow him? Is this a trick… or a test? Judging by the heavy threatening breathing, there was less and less time to think. Without finding any more reasonable solutions, Lars gathered himself to do as circumstances demanded of him: stretched out his trembling hand and shook the stranger's bony hand, squeezed it with the last of his strength…

… and froze again, as his ears were filled with a low quality fart sound effect.

Lars blinked. Blinked again, just in case. The guy in the blue hooded jacket paused for effect, then began to chuckle softly.

“Heh heh, the old whoopie cushion in the hand trick. As old as the world itself, but still makes an impression. Classic, huh?” he commented, coming out of the shadows and putting his hand on Lars’ shoulder. It made the guy flinch, lift his head and glare at the stranger with wide eyes. It was really a skeleton standing before him. Or some creature close to skeletons. Frankly, Lars never saw a skeleton that looked like that before…

“Whoa, easy, kid. Don’t be so nervous. You think I went overboard with suspense? Heh, sorry then.”

He was annoyingly calm. Lars couldn’t believe it. That skeleton scared the shit out of him, and he was only joking the whole time?! Boy, what a great comedian he is! NOT.

Lars grunted something inaudible and peeked at the strange face. As the skeleton spoke or chuckled, his mouth was stretched out in a wide grin, revealing a row of even teeth, and only vaguely resembled a bare jaw. The eyebrows, or rather the brow ridges, moved quite smoothly, which no human skull could boast, as far as Lars remembered… But most of all, he became intrigued by the skeleton’s eyes, that is, his eye sockets - deep and black, like endless space, in which white lights shone and trembled slightly.

“I'm Sans, by the way,” the skeleton introduced himself. Lars raised an eyebrow in surprise.

“Ah… Okay then. I'm Lars.”

“Nice to meet you, Lars, buddy. You know, I don't get to see a lot of new faces here, so I couldn't pass up the opportunity to play a little joke on you.”

Lars was ready to put his ship on the line that the skeleton winked at him. With his eye socket.

“No offense,” the skeleton added with a smile.

“Sure. You know, I'm sort of a jokester myself…”

“I'll remember that. So. What brought you here?”

“What brought? Well, um…”

Maybe (just maybe) Lars was happy to answer this question, but he didn't even know where to start. While his attention was darting from the smiling monster to the snow-covered trees, Sans got tired of waiting. He shrugged his shoulders and answered his own question indifferently:

“Eh, no matter. The important thing is, since you're here anyway, you have to be careful. I heard some weirdos setting traps throughout the forest.”

“The ones you and the second guy talked about five minutes ago?” Lars asked, squinting suspiciously at him.

“The second guy ? Ah, you must mean my little brother. You know…” Sans paused for a second. His white pupils looked away. “You should probably stay away from him.”

“Okaaay. And… Why, I wonder?”

Suddenly, Lars heard a loud rustle from where Sans was staring so intensely. It made him turn his head towards the wooden station. He was ready to see someone bigger and scarier than the skeleton… But there was nobody at the station - just like everywhere at a distance of ten meters around. The forest was calm and peaceful. Only tree branches swayed slightly in the wind and little snowflakes danced in the air. Lars exhaled a cloud of steam and turned back, but froze with surprise: Sans was already gone.

Hallucination? No. No, that couldn't be it. Lars wasn’t desperate enough to hallucinate… It would take him at least a week to spend in this forest alone! Still. He wasn't sure…

“Stay away? Is this a threat or a warning?”

As if there was a difference. A shiver ran down his spine - from the cold, of course! What else could it be?

“I've seen more terrifying creatures in space. HA! Couple of skeletons won't intimidate me!”

Lars jumped to his feet, numb from the cold, and began to rub legs with his hands and jump up and down to take away the chill. It was sad to admit, but if he stays here, he won't do anything but completely freeze his ass. And even if he had no idea where he was going, he was sure of one thing: he had to keep going. There might be a town and some friendly locals ahead at least. Or more talkative skeletons with a sadistic sense of humor. In any case…

Lars got out of his hiding place, wrapped himself in a cloak and walked on.

Chapter Text

There was one more thing that made Lars nervous, plus to him getting extremely cold. No matter how much time he spent in the snowy forest, there was still light outside. As if someone just turned the light bulbs on at full blast. Lars was trying to see the sky, but branches of conifer trees loomed over him like a coffin lid. Only a gray-blue dirty canvas was barely visible through them. The same picture from the very beginning… Maybe Lars was wrong about how long he has been here.

Anyway, the longer he walked, the colder the air became. And soon Lars began to regret that he hadn't asked that skeleton for a sweater…

“I should've asked if I’m going the right way,” Lars muttered to himself. He found a thick stick on the road and now he was walking, mindlessly hitting it against the bushes covered in white. It warmed him up a bit. “Would be nice to meet him again and ask a few questions, actually…”

And just when he thought about it, Lars saw another wooden station ahead, right by the road. Shocked, he dropped the stick on the ground.

“Jeez, I need to be more careful about what I wish for from now on,” he muttered in a strangled voice, looking around. There were few options, but he didn't want to jump into a snowdrift again. All he had to do was get around the station carefully, without attracting any attention… Luckily, Lars knew exactly how to do it.

He’s already done something like that before – on that fateful day, his very first trip to an alien planet. The day that changed his whole life. Remembering everything he learned from the Off Colors when they were escaping from Homeworld together, Lars slowly tiptoed over to the station, trying to get lost in the shadows, and hiding behind random sounds from the forest. He practically pressed himself into the wall, quietly crawled under it, without making a single sigh. Then he stood up, quickly glancing at the station and…

Let out a sigh of relief, noticed there was nobody there.

“Oh, thank the stars…” feeling much calmer now, Lars came closer to check if someone had left a blanket there or at least a box of matches. But the only thing lying on the wooden tabletop was a small bell - like the service bell you can usually find on reception desks in the hotels.

“Seriously? A bell? Who do they think I am, an idiot?” Lars muttered, almost offended. He turned around and walked on… but suddenly stopped, feeling movement behind - a light breeze blew back and forth, as if someone just sped by. And after that he heard a soft strum of a bell and a husky voice called:

“Who is there?!”

Lars held his breath, trying so hard not to scream. А loud fuss and growling behind him was replaced by deathly silence for a moment, but he dared not to move.

“Is anybody there? Move so I can see you!”

Lars continued to stand still, like a statue, without breathing. He even stopped shaking from the cold. His leg, raised above the ground, became numb, but he remained standing in this unstable position even when his whole body was filled with a vague feeling… as if something was going through him.  Seconds of awful feeling that was difficult to comprehend, much less describe… But not even a single muscle moving on the pirate's face.

“Again? Hmph! No respect for elders! I'm gonna need some dog treats for this…”

Lars didn't get the last phrase - it got muffled by the sounds of fussing and grumbling. Everything went quiet again. Taking advantage of this, with the speed of light Lars rushed away from the station.

***

Lars could barely remember racing down the snowy path, gasping for air, slipping around corners and jumping over fallen trees. He stopped only when the station completely disappeared from sight. Breathing raggedly, he turned around, checking if there was any chase after him. Then he put his hands on his knees and exhaled loudly with a whistle. His ears were ringing, drowning out sounds of the forest. Lars suddenly inhaled sharply and started to laugh. Was it some kind of breakdown? Or does he really enjoy this sudden shot of adrenalin? The pirate laughed until coughing interrupted him. He had not experienced anything like this in a long time! In space, he was always calm and fearless and almost forgot what it was like to be afraid for his life… To be confused and insecure about the future. To feel the phantom heartbeat. It was… almost nostalgic.

Since when did fear become like a drug for him?

Once he calmed down, Lars stood up and thought for a moment. If he understood correctly, there were observers in the forest, and each of them owned a station. Lars did not meet a single living soul on the way, and that meant that the observers shouldn't have left their places. So, Lars just had to be careful enough when he came across the stations and bypass it at a good distance. Well… At least it was only a temporary plan.

“Hope the worst is over. I've had enough for today…”

The pirate stepped boldly forward. As soon as his foot touched the ground, something wrapped around it and pulled forward. Lars slipped on the snow, trying to grab onto something, and hung in the air a few meters from the ground, face down in a solid ice net.

“WHAT THE FUCK!” Lars shouted, swinging in the air, and blushed with anger. How could he be so careless! How could he forget about stupid traps all over the forest?! “Why? What have I done to deserve this??”

“Brother? Is that you? Why do you keep activating my traps for fun?” someone responded in an annoyed tone. Lars twitched at first, but realized that he couldn't get out of the net in time. The voice was already quite close, the snow crunched louder and louder under someone’s feet… A recently overheard conversation about traps flashed through Lars’ head. The ambiguous phrase that skeleton in a blue hoodie said just before disappeared mysteriously…

“Wait a minute. You’re not Sans! Sans would never change his ridiculous hoodie for something as stylish...” his invisible interlocutor suddenly remarked in a stern tone. And then added, much quieter: “To my greatest regret, of course…”

From the crunch of the snow, Lars realized that someone walked quickly around the net.

“You’re not the one of guards, either. You look funny actually. Who… Wait. Could it be…?”

The voice was shaking. Feeling a little more confident for some reason, Lars tried to turn around in the net to see who it was. But the figure below was already looming back and forth like a red flash, muttering something excitedly, not giving Lars a chance to concentrate his gaze on him.

“Hey… Hey, you, down there! Could you let me out of here, since you're there anyway? I'd be damn grateful,” Lars said, trying to sound as decisive as possible. He wasn’t sure if it would work, tho… But he somehow managed to attract the attention of the red flash: he stopped abruptly, so that the snow creaked under his feet. And after a moment's pause, he asked timidly:

“Not that I have any doubts about this, but… You’re… you’re a human, right?”

“Um. Kinda? Yes?” Lars answered, confused. It didn’t occur to him that he should keep it a secret.

“YES! Yes, I knew it!” the interlocutor gasped with excitement. It seemed he even bounced a bit. “Please, forgive my uncertainty, human! You see, I've been told that humans are very intelligent creatures but you… I mean. You just walked straight into the trap, so…”

“Ouch. No need to specify. Especially with such enthusiasm!” Lars mumbled. He already felt defeated and confused. And now this guy was making fun of him too? Although, he seemed genuinely happy for having caught "the human" - as if it was the first truly exciting thing over the years…

“…Human! Are you listening?”

“I’m sorry, what?” Lars shuddered. Did he just get carried away by his thoughts and miss some speech? He made another attempt to turn around, but only wasted his breath. The net was surprisingly strong.

“I’m letting you continue on your way! Show me what you got… If you dare!”

There was a whistle, as if someone had thrown something sharp: and the net around Lars softened and fell down with him. The pirate struggled in the snow, freeing himself from the trap and running his gaze through the forest. But his strange interlocutor already disappeared. Throwing the remnants of the net aside and shaking off the snow, Lars wondered if it was the one who he was thinking of.

“First that funny skeleton guy, then the hell knows who, and now this… fellow. If I see some more weirdos here, I will explode. Literally.”

Chapter Text

Finally, there was something new ahead. The trees, tightly flanking the path, parted before him, and Lars found himself in a small snowy field. Tired of the same picture over several hours (well, Lars assumed he was here for several hours) and beginning to suspect that he was walking around in circles, the pirate looked at the field and felt he could breathe easier. It was completely empty: no bushes, no stones, no trees, only a lake in the middle of the field, covered with a thick layer of ice. Lars breathed in the frosty air deeply, as if he was going to take it for the stock in case the road would lead him back to the forest. The very thought of this caused a fit of claustrophobia, and Lars shook his head, striding resolutely towards the lake. He needed some rest before continuing on his way.

But then, he noticed an eerily familiar figure in a blue hoodie in the center of the lake, which, thrusting his hands into the pockets, was tilting back on a little chair. In the snow, in front of him, was a fishing rod, constructed out of two sticks tied with a rope. Lars immediately felt an irresistible urge to turn back to where he came from, but Sans already noticed him and nodded his head affably.

“Sup, Lars. How is it going? Haven't seen you for ages.”

Lars stopped at the edge of the lake. The skeleton seemed to be in high spirits and did not show aggression towards him… But he still didn’t want to come closer.

“Oh, great, everything is juuust great… Taking a walk, enjoying the weather,” he replied, putting his hands on his hips and nodding at the fishing rod, which seemed to be frozen in the snow already. “How are the fish biting?”

“No idea. It's not mine,” Sans swung heavily in his chair. It was almost unbearable to stand in silence under the watchful gaze of the skeleton, and Lars thought of a topic for conversation… but couldn’t come up with any ideas.

“I… I think I bumped into your brother recently.”

“The second guy ?” Sans asked innocently.

“Yeah, that. And, well, I'm not sure, but… it seems that he’s hunting me down now.”

“That's tough luck.”

What was that? A note of compassion in his voice? But surprise didn’t last long, since the continuation sounded not so sympathetic.

“But look at it positively. At least now my bro will feel better. He wasn't in the mood lately, you know.”

“You don’t say.”

“Yup. Meeting you definitely made his day, I assure you,” the skeleton winked. Lars threw his hands up, rolling his eyes almost to the very back of his head.

“Oh, thank the stars! I was so worried that I wouldn’t be able to brighten up someone's day with my suffering! Do you, by any chance, have some more bored brothers or sisters? Maybe I can help them too?!” the pirate crossed his arms over his chest and stared gloomily to the side, adding sarcastically: “Always wanted to be a fox in a dog hunt…”

“Welp, you have already passed one dog successfully,” Sans shrugged. It seemed like he wasn’t impressed by Lars’ tirade at all. “By the way, I see it didn’t take you long to figure out how to avoid the blue attack. Good job. I'm almost proud of you, kid.”

“What did you…?”

Lars blinked as he began to realize something. He slowly narrowed his eyes, not taking them off the face of the skeleton, who no longer seemed so scary, as when they first met… In fact, now it was Lars who was supposed to look scary.

“So it was you… You rang that goddamn bell?!”

In response, the skeleton shrugged again. He let out a low, nasty laugh, and Lars felt his entire face on fire. He felt it was vital for him to let this steam out.

“What the FUCK are you laughing at?! Are you sick in the head?! My soul almost jumped out of my body there!”

“Wow, hey… Better keep your soul in your body, you know. Just in case,” Sans swung calmly in his chair. Lars barely resisted the urge to rush to him and kick the damn chair.

“With pleasure, maybe quit busting my chops then?!”

“Okay, okay, I got ya,” the skeleton raised his hands. “No more life-threatening pranks, I promise. But look at it from the other side…”

“A positive one?!”

“Yup. You may not understand now, but this experience will help you in the future. In a fight with my bro, to be more precise.”

“How is that supposed to help me?” the pirate raised an eyebrow. “And why do I have to fight someone anyway?”

He turned away just for a second, gazing across the field, hoping it would help to cool down the resentment burning in his chest. But it was enough for Sans to disappear again. As confirmation that he wasn’t a hallucination after all, there was only a folding chair standing on a lake, and a fishing rod stuck in the snow. Lars carefully stepped onto the ice, checking if it was strong enough to bear his weight. Then he walked to the center and peered into a hole carved into the ice. There was clear water underneath, and if Lars could still feel thirsty, he’d drink it right away, no doubt. But he decided to abstain. Instead, he walked over to a chair and kicked it so it flew to the opposite shore of the lake.

***

However, less than five minutes after their last meeting, Lars bumped into Sans again. This time, he didn't even stop when he saw his blue hoodie in the middle of the winter landscape. Lars just rolled his eyes and exhaled, already mentally preparing himself for what awaited him…

There were… two skeletons, instead of one. They were arguing about something and didn’t even notice the guy approaching them slowly. Neither the squeaking snow nor the fact that the road was quite deserted and perfectly visible from all directions gave him away… Good. At last, he had enough time to get a detailed look at the mysterious "red flash" that had so skillfully escaped his attention until now.

He was a head taller than Sans and seemed much thinner (though the question of thick skeletons remained open). And his facial features – or his bone features? – were sharper and thinner than his older brother had. In short, he had almost everything that would make him look like a realistic anatomical replica: pronounced cheekbones, a mobile jaw, even faint cracks on the bones… But still, he looked completely alien and even fantastical. Maybe it was the fluid movements of his face, which was not supposed to move like that? Or was it the completely black gaps in his eyes, which somehow magically conveyed his mood…?

He was also dressed in a sort of superhero costume with a big red scarf instead of a cape… The fabric seemed so thin and light that Lars felt chills just looking at him! However, he assumed that since the skeletons have no skin, the cold couldn't dictate them how to dress.

The icy wind blew in his face and it made Lars feel a pang of jealousy. He could use some cold resistance today.

When he got close enough, Sans and his brother were still talking. He had to cough loudly to get their attention.

“Oh, the human arrived!” the tall skeleton exclaimed and turned to his brother again, pointing in Lars’ direction. “See, Sans, I told you that humans are very punctual!”

“You were right, bro,” Sans replied. “It seems like he has a bone to pick with you.”

“Sans, please.” the high one interrupted. “No time for puns!”

Lars felt his eye start to twitch. The skeleton in the red scarf turned to him with a polite smile.

“I’m sorry, human. To my deepest regret, my brother has a weakness for low quality jokes.”

“Oh, I’ve noticed,” Lars agreed, pretending he hadn't heard the offended “hey!” thrown in his direction. “These are pretty bad.”

“You mean,” Sans smiled slyly, “bad to the bone?”

“Um…”

“Enough, Sans!” his brother stamped his foot angrily. “You’re making a bad impression on the Human!”

“Oh, so you were going to impress him? Sorry, I misheard you. I thought you wanted to press him into the snow.”

Lars couldn’t resist a little smile. Noticing this, the second skeleton took a deep breath and squeezed the bridge of his nose with his fingers, almost inaudibly. muttering something, that Lars’ sensitive ear recognized as "why did I deserve this?"

Why indeed…

“Okay, you know what? I'll just pretend that this conversation never happened,” he said aloud, his shoulders straightened, and he took a heroic stance. This somehow reminded Lars of his own habit. “Human! I suggest that you continue your journey at your own risk… Deep down I hoped that you would heed the warning and turn back…”

It was a warning? This guy should've been more specific, really…

“But now I see that you stop at nothing… Therefore, I have to stand in your way! Today, I will put an end to your crimes!”

“Wait, what crimes?” Lars stared at him blankly. But his participation in this monologue was clearly unnecessary, so the question was ignored.

“…For I, The Great Papyrus, the hero of Snowdin, am about to capture you! I will arrest you! I will put you in protective custody! Then, I'll get you to captain Undyne!

“Don't forget to tie a bow,” Sans added.

“You will be delivered to the capital! And then! Then…” Papyrus hesitated, looked down at the snow. “I'm… not sure what’s next…”

“Good plan, bro,” the older brother raised his thumb up. Didn't seem like the tall skeleton needed his approval, tho. He still seemed a bit off, when he looked up again. However, all his thoughtfulness blew away with the wind when he noticed human’s look of confusion.

“Do you have a question, Human?” Papyrus asked sympathetically. The pirate scratched his neck, looking at him from under his brows.

“Maybe a little off topic…”

“It's okay, go ahead! I will be pleased to answer any questions you may have. After all, heroes must not only fight, but also to be helpful!”

How nice of him.

“Well. Okay, I was just thinking… Your names are, like, some kind of a joke too? Right?”

Papyrus opened his mouth, prepared to explain, but froze with his index finger raised up and an expression of bewilderment on his face. Then he and his brother looked at each other in total silence.  The pirate caught a heavy shadow of confusion even on Sans' unreadable face, and it impressed him so much, he even regretted asking this question. Therefore, before Papyrus could pull himself together, Lars said:

“Eh, forget it! Sorry, it was stupid question.” 

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I am sure! I just got the wrong idea… Never mind, really!”

Sans still looked confused, but didn’t insist. Papyrus, on the other hand, seemed happy to change the subject.

“So, as I was saying… Ahem. Human! Get ready to experience terror and despair! Test your nerves, your knowledge and skills! Because I, the Great Papyrus, challenge you!”

Lars clenched his fists. So, fun’s over huh?

“You see, I have prepared for you the best and most dangerous puzzles. If you pass them then you’ll have the honor to fight the best (future) member of the Royal Guard! One on one!”

Chapter Text

Things seemed pretty serious. Put the accent on "seemed". Turned out that all those talks about man-hunting, threats to deliver him to the capital as some kind of criminal (which Lars was, actually, but certainly not here) were nothing but idle talk. The puzzles were not difficult (although very ingenious), and the traps weren't meant to hurt him. And the most surprising thing, no matter how many times Lars stumbles upon one or the other skeleton, they did not even try to injure him...

Sans still seemed like someone who could have killed Lars at will. But the irony was that he simply did not want to, as if he was just too lazy for it. Once Sans admitted that he loves "do absolutely nothing", which is why the pirate drew this conclusion. Far-fetched, perhaps… But it brought Lars some sort of comfort.

The second one, Papyrus, was… a little annoying, to be honest. He was loud and pretentious, and his speeches gave the impression that he had read too many comic books about superheroes. But it was amazing how much this guy tried to look important. This kind of behavior actually reminded Lars of someone he once knew… Someone with a human skin color, red disheveled hair, with ear tunnels. Someone who had a bit of a mean personality, trying so much to be one of the "cool kids" and…

“Nah, it’s nothing like that. This is completely different! Everything is much more complicated here…” Lars frowned and shook his head, trying to make these thoughts to go away, while dialed various combinations on the ice plates on the wall. This puzzle was easy. An artificial looking stone, a simple password that was hidden in the bushes nearby: and a secret path opened before Lars, inviting him to a new zone.

He was a different person now. There was no need to remember something he wasn’t proud of.

“Wowie, you solved this puzzle without my help! I'm impressed, Human!” Papyrus was already waiting for him. His high-pitched voice washed away all the heavy thoughts from Lars’ head, and the pirate was quite grateful to him for that.

“Yeah, yeah, I'm pretty good, am I?” Lars shook his unruly pink hair from his eyes. “So now what? Obstacle course? Mindfulness Puzzle? Bring it on, I'm ready for everything! But… no more invisible electricity maze, okay?”

“There was just one! And by the way, I was the only one electrocuted,” Papyrus objected.

“Yes, of course, but I’ve got psychological trauma!”

The skeleton crossed his arms over his chest, giving Lars an appraising look. However, after a minute he said:

“Okay. No more invisible electricity maze, I promise.”

“That's all I wanted to hear,” Lars wiped the sweat from his forehead. “So what’s now?”

But Papyrus wasn't in a hurry to explain the new puzzles as he had been doing all this time. He only shook his head and stepped aside a little: only now, Lars noticed a long wooden bridge behind him, built across the abyss. He began to realize that Papyrus was waiting for him for a reason.

“You have successfully passed all my puzzles, Human. I really admire your sense of purpose!”

“Um… thanks?” Lars couldn't believe the secret door thing was the last puzzle. That was kind of disappointing?

“Now, as I said earlier, I will fight with you! I believe it will be such an honor for you. And for me as well! So brace yourself, Human! For I, The Great Papyrus, am challenging you to a duel…”

“Nope.”

“…on the field of hon…! Um. I'm sorry, what did you say?”

Lars averted his eyes. It’s not like Papyrus seemed very fragile to him. But to fight him? No, thanks. To be honest, Lars was afraid to break his bones accidentally… When he looked at Papyrus again, the skeleton lowered his shoulders.

“Nothing personal, really. The puzzles were fun, but I think I'll refrain from fighting. Okay? Okay.”

“But you cannot refrain from fighting, it’s against the rules. We MUST fight!… Hey, where are you going?”

Papyrus stamped his foot angrily as Lars walked around him at a decent distance, trying not to look into his eyes… er, eye sockets.

“Nowhere. Just passing by.”

“What do you mean… Hey! You can’t ignore me when I challenge you to battle!”

“You sure? Because that is exactly what I am doing.”

“But, Human…”

“I'm off!”

Lars was determined not to turn around, even if the poor fellow will cry. Maybe he will even be offended, but it’s better for him than to pick his bones from the snow. Also, Lars still needed to find a way to get back to his crew…

But Lars had no idea he won’t get away so easily. He was almost a meter from the bridge, when suddenly a strange vibration swept across the ground - first from behind, then under his feet, almost knocking him down… and stopped right in front of the bridge, exploding underground and throwing snow in all directions. Lars barely had time to cover his eyes with his elbow. When he looked ahead, he did not see the bridge in front of him: there was a wall of snow-white bones instead. At the bottom, the bones were sharpened, sticking out from under ground like a palisade. The wall itself stretched in both directions to the very cliff, preventing the possibility of going around it. Lars turned to Papyrus with a dazed look on his face and found him down on one knee. His right hand was surrounded by a blue magical glow.

"Whoa… He can do that?"

Somehow pulled himself together, Lars glanced around the bone wall once again and whistled.

“Well, that was impressive. But it just so happened that I'm pretty good at jumping…”

“A useful skill. That could be a problem,” Papyrus replied with a meaningful smile. The bluish glow in his hand became brighter. Lars got pretty nervous, not knowing what to expect… But he didn't have to wait long: obeying the skeleton's mysterious magic, Lars' body began to change its color from pink… to blue?

“What the… Oh, FOR THE LOVE OF-!” the pirate exclaimed, not so much with horror, but more with indignation in his voice. He's just got used to pink! Why do all the metamorphoses that happen to him necessarily affect the color of his body?!

But his sufferings didn’t end there: as soon as the blue completely absorbed him from the tips of his fingers to the last hair on his head, Lars' eyes darkened. Inhuman strength began to pull him down, as if a sack of stones had been tied around his neck… And then, Lars fell into the snow, like a stone himself. Something squeezed his chest, but not so much that he could choke or start to worry that his insides would crawl out of his eyes. Behind the buzzing noise in his ears, he could barely hear the solemn voice of Papyrus, telling him:

“You're blue now!”

“Yeah, I fucking noticed!!!”

“Oh. Well, first of all, watch your language, Human, swearing does not suit you,” Lars couldn’t see his face, but guessed from his intonation that Papyrus was frowning. “And secondly, you asked for it! I did this so you don't flee from the battlefield.”

Lars pushed off the ground with his trembling hands and began to get up. Papyrus stood at a distance. Lars' vision was out of focus, which made him see the skeleton glowing with a ghostly blue light.

“Now you have only two choices: fight me or surrender. I allow you to choose, Human.”

The pirate's lips curved into a mischievous grin.

“Well then, I guess I have no choice… Let's dance!”

“It is admirable that you’re interested in dancing, but actually I did not say anything about it. The choice was either to fight or to surrender,” the skeleton put his hands on his hips and leaned forward, giving Lars a reproachful look. “I said that a minute and a half ago, Human! Are you even listening?”

“I, uh… What? I’m listening… Wait, no, I meant let's fight!”

“Well, then you should have said so. Why are you confusing me?”

“I was not, I just… This is just a figure of speech, I mean… Oh, come on now, dude! Let's get started already!”

“As you wish, Human. But we will work on your speech later.”

The next thing Lars saw was Papyrus got down on his knee, plunging his palms into the snow. The pirate felt the same vibration as before – it was moving at a breakneck speed underground, resonating from the stones and trees that surrounded them. Lars felt that even his pupils were moving too slow, but his hearing, fortunately, worked as it should: managed to determine the trajectory of the attack, Lars collected all the willpower in his legs and jumped to the right, exactly at the moment when the bones began to grow out the ground. They formed a circle, but closed on the wall that was blocking the way. Bones crashed against it with a loud crunch.

The landing wasn’t soft though. Lars couldn’t hold the weight of his own body, which now seemed so alien, went head over heels and crashed into a snowdrift, lifting millions of snowflakes into the air.

“Stay focused, Human! What kind of fair fight will it be, if you waste time lying in the snow? Should I declare every attack so you can react to it in time?”

 “Yes, if you please,” Lars muttered, spitting off the snow.

Papyrus sighed.

“Okay… Here comes the second attack.”

The pirate jumped to his feet. He only had time to see the skeleton waving his hand, and a row of tall translucent blue bones surrounded him, starting to close around him slowly. For a split second, Lars panicked, realizing that in no circumstances would he escape this! but then…

What was Sans talking about earlier? The blue attack, right?

Blue attack… The pirate's eyes lit up. The guard at the second station used the same trick! Oh stars, did Sans really help him in some way?!

Lars held his breath. He had to make even more effort not to move than to jump under the effect of this strange magic… But he coped: blue bones passed through him and immediately disappeared without harming him. Lars couldn’t even find the strength to be overjoyed with it - he just went limp and sat on the ground, breathing heavily.

“I see you actually understood how the blue attack works!” Papyrus said with a proud smile. “However, you can't get away so easily from the next one!”

White bones, translucent blue, tall, small bones – all rose from the ground one by one. Some appeared right in the air, rushing towards Lars at different speeds, ringing like arrows. He dodged them successfully, until there were too many. If only he had a weapon…

“Wait, what if I just…”

The pirate waited until the tall white bones rushed past him, and at the most opportune moment grabbed one with his hand and pulled as hard as he could... Luckily, the ingenious plan had worked, and now Lars had a weapon in his hands! The bone easily shattered attacks that were the most difficult to dodge. Now they weren’t a threat to him. This time, Lars proudly accepted yet another praise addressed to him by Papyrus – he himself was filled with pride as he successfully jumped over obstacles and got out of bone traps with his dexterity skills and new weapon.

“It’s over, Papyrus, give up! You can’t beat me!” The pirate exclaimed confidently, chopping off another line of attacks with the bone.

But the skeleton wasn’t going to give up. He leaped in the air and landed on one of the summoned bones, maintaining perfect balance. A white bone sword appeared in his hand, when he dashed to the enemy, fast like lightning. Lars hardly managed to block his attack, but with every subsequent move his strength was leaving him… It soon became clear to Lars that victory had eluded him: another hit, and Papyrus knocked the bone out of his hands. The pirate stepped back, trying to dodge the sword, but tripped over a tiny bone on the ground and immediately fell into the snow.

“Gotcha!”

A row of bones lined up around Lars, gathering in a kind of cage. However, the bitterness of defeat was short-lived. As soon as the bone lid closed over him, Lars’ skin returned to its usual pink color, and the pirate let out a sigh of relief, feeling his body became light again. All the bones, except for the cage, melted away, leaving no hint of what battle took place here.

When Lars looked up, he saw Papyrus towering triumphantly over him.

Chapter Text

“Human! I am very impressed… No one ever… fought me so fiercely!”

Papyrus panted, breathing out blue-gray clouds of steam. He looked tired but continued to stand proudly, keeping his back straight and his shoulders straightened, as if the enemy's impression of him depended directly on the perfection of his posture.

“You fought with honor… But alas, even your abilities were not enough to defeat the Great Papyrus! Therefore, now, as I informed you earlier, I will have to…”

“Dude. That was. SO COOL!”

Papyrus dropped his gaze, only to meet Human’s eyes, full of genuine admiration. He was breathing hard, very excited, and a wide smile was shining on his face - not exactly how Papyrus expected to see the defeated enemy. The skeleton blinked in confusion and narrowed his eyes, as if he wasn't sure he heard him correctly.

“C-cool? Do you… Do you really think so?”

“What the hell do you mean by that?!” Lars shouted, throwing his hands in the air. “Of course I think so, I'm telling you! It was fantastic! Freaking incredible! Where did you learn all this? I've never seen anything like it ever in my life! Those were real bones? No, some sort of magic, right?”

Papyrus froze, stunned by his reaction. He even forgot to hold the pose: his shoulders dropped and leaned forward, visually making the skeleton much smaller than he seemed while maintaining his proud posture. Noticing this, Lars forced himself to slow down.

“Look, man, I mean it. That was really cool. And I was going to skip all this, can you believe it?” he snickered. Looking at him, Papyrus raised the corners of his mouth in a timid smile, but the expression in his eyes still betrayed a jumble of feelings. Yet he managed to control himself, straightened his back again and closed his eyes, giving himself a self-confident look.

“W-well, of course! Don't you think I'm surprised by this, Human! Truly, your admiration is not unfounded. Because I… C-captain of the Royal Guard herself is training me, so…”

“You mean, the one you have to take me to?”

“Oh yes! It is her! Captain Undyne!” the skeleton smiled radiantly. It seems that he got his confidence back. Good! Lars already started to worry about him… “Now that I beat you in a fair fight, I must keep you in custody until Undyne arrives. And then she… she will decide what to do with you…”

“I see…” Lars said dryly, head down and frowned thoughtfully. Obviously, this did not escape Papyrus’ attention, so he slightly bent down to get a better look at the pirate’s tense face.

“Is everything all right, Human?”

“Yeah, why not,” he replied, nodding. Not to Papyrus, but rather to himself. “Okay. I'll go with you willingly.”

“Oh! Are you sure? I mean, you have no other choice, but…”

“No choice, yeah, that's for sure!” Lars agreed. “But, first of all, you must know how to lose with dignity. And secondly, even if there was a choice, I still don't even know where I should go. So yes, I'm sure. Take me to your captain!”

 “Okay, in that case…”

Papyrus snapped his fingers and the bone cell disappeared in an instant. Now when it didn’t hold Lars back, he jumped to his feet with feline grace – what a pleasure to feel lightness in body again!

“First, I will take you to my fortress,” Papyrus pointed towards the bridge. “Please follow me.”

“Okey dokey.”

How did he plan to get Lars across this bridge, if he wouldn’t agree to go willingly? The pirate could not even imagine. Would he drag him, trapped in a bone cage, on his own shoulders? Well actually, Papyrus could do that for sure - he somehow managed to defeat Lars, after all. Captain Lars, who was trained in battles with powerful general gems! Though the skeleton doesn't look very strong. That was kinda impressive!

***

The bridge seemed endless, but it took just about fifteen minutes to go across it. Or even five minutes… Doesn’t matter, the point is that it was much less time than Lars expected. He must have lost track of time when he was at a decent distance from the beginning of the bridge. No, he wasn’t struggling with the fear of falling down, experienced an hour of torment in one instant: the bridge was surprisingly sturdy and seemed capable of supporting the weight of ten Solar Incinerators, so Lars didn't care a bit about it. It was because of Papyrus, who pulled him into conversation so easily. Before Lars became his prisoner, the skeleton was using mostly prepared speeches and explanations of the principles of how certain puzzles worked – which, to put it mildly, did not make Lars want to stay and chat with him longer. But now, when Papyrus was no longer trying to impress him (or what was his goal there?), he turned out to be quite an exciting person to talk to.

“How did you manage to choose the right direction?” Papyrus turned his whole body to Lars, continuing to walk across the bridge backwards. “No, wait, let me guess! It was the smell!”

“And what was I supposed to smell, may I ask?”

“The Cinnamon Bunnies, of course! It's a sweet treat. The shopkeeper cooks them for sale every day. It has a very strong and specific scent, so you can smell them even from the Ruins behind the forest.”

The pirate shrugged, but sniffed just in case. No, he definitely couldn't smell the cinnamon even from here. Maybe this trick was only available to locals?

“Nah, the smell has nothing to do with it. I guess I just have a good internal compass.”

“Why did you swallow the compass?”

“Wha- I did not?!” Lars laughed. “This is the figure of speech! Have you never heard of it?”

Papyrus pouted – how was that even possible if he had neither cheeks nor lips?

“If the figure of speech means that you do not mean what you say, then I do not want to know anything about it. I swore to always be honest and only say what I really think!”

“Well… I mean, sure. Whatever,” Lars mumbled, rubbing the back of his head. In the meantime, the skeleton turned away and joyfully announced that they had finally arrived. The pirate looked up to see a large bright sign ahead saying «Welcome to Snowdin».

The town was quite small, but incredibly cozy. It somehow reminded Lars of old villages in the north – he saw the pictures in travel magazines. He had never been to the north, but imagined such settlements as abodes of loneliness and permafrost… And God, how wrong he was.

The buildings were painted in pleasant warm colors, which contrasted strongly with the harsh winter landscape around. Soft orange light poured from each window onto the snow-strewn road. The candles lit on the windowsills, trembled. And the garlands, stretched over the doorways, flickered, which gave the city a truly fabulous look. Two houses at the beginning of the road were decorated with carved window frames and weather vanes – Papyrus said it was the shop (where they were selling cinnamon bunnies, by the way) and the hotel.  Other houses were decorated much more modestly and more strictly.

In the center of Snowdin, right in the middle of the road, stood a big bushy tree, hung with various toys.  Is it Christmas already? Lars messed up the dates in his captain's journal long ago, so he might well haven’t noticed how December came. Or did time go differently in this part of the universe? Well, it didn't matter. He and the Off colors didn’t care about holidays anyway.

He was walking behind Papyrus, listening half-heartedly to his explanations about how everything works in the city, casting glances at the nice wooden buildings, lining the road along the way. And, of course, looking at the inhabitants of Snowdin. They met a rabbit Near the Christmas tree – she smiled warmly and greeted both of them, then walked on, leaving the smell of cinnamon behind. Two little dragon kids in striped sweaters ran past them with a cheerful giggle. A horse head guy, dressed in a leather jacket, smoked a cigarette near the place with a signboard "Grillby’s" (the only brick building in the whole city).  Bears, wolves, rabbits – all kinds of animals, like ordinary people wandered along the streets, entered houses, chatted amiably with neighbors. However, Lars noticed that none of these strange creatures paid the slightest attention to him.

“This is for the best. I don’t have time to attract unnecessary attention,” he thought with some degree of relief, stopping to twist his head around like a child who visited Disneyland for the first time. He quickened his pace to keep up with his guide.

After passing a large two-storey house, whose roof was decorated with a bright colorful garland, Papyrus stopped. Lars followed suit.

“This is a temporary prison where I was going to put human when I catch them,” the skeleton explained, without waiting for a question. Lars meticulously examined the small building that looked like a barn or a garage.

“You mean, I have to sit here until Undyne arrives?” to be honest, the pirate wasn’t happy with it. But then again, did he have a choice? Oddly enough, Papyrus, who himself suggested the idea, didn’t seem pleased either.

“I think… Maybe this isn't really the place. It will definitely hold you, but there… there is…” he hesitated for a moment before continuing with a joyful snap of his fingers. “There's no cameras in here!”

Lars could have sworn he'd just made it up. However, Papyrus did not care at all whether he knew it or not. He straightened his back, delighted with his own resourcefulness, and nodded gravely:

“Mhm, yes exactly! I’m a very responsible skeleton, I can’t just throw you into a prison I can’t watch you from!”

“Not that I was going to run away…” Lars muttered, glanced over his shoulder.

“It's settled then! Human, you’re coming with me!”

With these words, Papyrus grabbed Lars by the wrist and dragged him into the house.

Chapter Text

Entering the house, they found themselves in a spacious living room. The dark shade of the walls and low lighting created a pleasant evening atmosphere here. The place was so tidy that Lars, accustomed to messy rooms, even felt a little uncomfortable. Not a single piece of dust on the floor! The books in the cupboards arranged in height and color, blankets neatly folded into a basket, standing by the couch. The air filled with the smell of stewed tomatoes and some kind of spices. And most importantly, it was warm here. During his stay in the forest, Lars had already forgotten what it was like to feel warm and cozy. His arms and legs were even in pain, as happens when you press your frostbitten fingers to a hot radiator.

“Come on in, Human, make yourself at home!” Papyrus invited.

“Oh yeah. T-thank you…” Lars brushed the snow off his boots before entering the room. He absolutely didn’t want to bring dirt into such a clean and beautiful house.

“There, that's much better, isn't it? You will be safe here, and most importantly, you can’t escape! Even if I get distracted by something, which, of course, won’t happen… Still! You see, my brother and I have a unique tracking system in our house!” Papyrus said proudly. Lars turned his head around, trying to find any cameras in the corners of the ceiling. But soon he realized that he was looking in the wrong projection. He heard a sudden barking from below and something white and fluffy began to spin under his feet, and then, jumped onto his chest. Being completely unprepared for this, the pirate couldn’t keep his balance and immediately fell to the floor, barely managing to keep his head from the collision.  However, judging by the skeleton's reaction, everything was under control.

“Oh, here it is!”

“A dog?” Lars asked, trying to prevent a furry monster from licking his face.

“My unique tracking system!”

Lars didn’t often deal with dogs, so he just lay motionless on his back with his arms outstretched, not knowing what to do next. Papyrus chuckled and finally deigned to help him: carefully picking the animal by the scruff of the neck, he took him away from the pirate.

“Listen carefully, dog. I have a very important task for you,” the skeleton raised his index finger so that the "unique tracking system" would totally understand that the task was indeed very important. “From now on, never take your eyes off the Human. Nod if you get it.”

The dog nodded, waving his fluffy tail. Lars shook his head in surprise.

“What a clever dog…”

“Oh yes. He is indeed very smart! Especially when he needs something from you, he is the smartest creature in the world!” Papyrus smiled, letting go of the dog that immediately began to pull Lars by the cloak, helping him to get up from the floor. “By the way, are you hungry? After all, you've been strolling through the forest all day.”

Lars was about to politely refuse, but at the last moment he changed his mind and listened to his feelings. He wasn't hungry. But he was definitely terribly cold, and food could help to warm up. Moreover, the smell of tomatoes and spices, coming from the kitchen, was really nice…

“Yeah… I guess so.”

“Good! Then I invite you to join me and my brother for dinner! I was just about to start cooking after patrolling the forest. Actually, I should have come back much earlier, so I already put tomatoes in the stew. But then you showed up and…”

Lars beamed, actually thrilled to hear that.

“Oh, do you like cooking?”

“I recently discovered my interest in cooking, yes. It's a very good way of spending your time, isn't it?”

“It sure is!” he nodded, following Papyrus into a rather cramped kitchen compared to the living room. “So, what's for dinner?”

“I'm making my specialty, pasta with tomato sauce and spinach!”

“Got it. Now, where do you keep pots?”

The skeleton shook his head, putting a white apron on, right over his suit, and immediately walked to the stove. There was a frying pan, steam was coming out from it.

“No, no! You are a guest in my house… that is, I mean, a prisoner in my fortress. And the prisoners shouldn’t do other’s household chores!”

“Oh… Well, okay, if you say so…”

Lars was a little upset, but decided that it would be rude to argue with the owner of the "fortress" in his kitchen. Therefore, he walked in and sat down at the table.

“So you are also interested in cooking?” Papyrus asked with a smile in his voice. Longing that came out of nowhere was instantly dispelled after these words. The pirate straightened up and replied:

“I would say I do it professionally. You see, where I come from, I had my own bakery shop…”

A sudden loud thud of the pot dropping on the stove interrupted his speech. Lars looked up in surprise at the skeleton that had turned to face him, and froze for a moment. It was unclear whether it was a hallucination, a game of light, or some kind of magic, but he could clearly see little sparks in the depths of Papyrus' black eye sockets as he exclaimed in admiration:

“Your own bakery shop?! You bake? Like, pies, cookies and stuff?”

“Well, I… Yeah. I mean, that's what I just said…”

“Wowie!” Papyrus continued to stare at him like he was the eighth wonder of the world. Lars couldn't help but let out an awkward chuckle. It had been a long time since he'd had such an admiring glance in his direction. “How hard did you have to work to learn that?”

“Well, baking isn't as hard as you think… It's just that having to measure the ingredients precisely scares people away, that's all. But in fact, it's a good place to start.”

“You mean, it's better to start with the difficulties right away?”

The pirate shook his head with a serious look.

“Nope, on the contrary, it's easier to learn the basics with baking. There are clear rules that allow you to hone your skills to the max and… Ah, what am I saying? You never get to the max level in cooking! It's a skill that is perfected over the course of your life…”

Lars didn't seem to notice how his lips stretched into a dreamy smile with each word. He leaned with his elbows on the table, resting his head on his hand. The smell of cooking food, a pleasant conversation, warmth – all these things began to have a calming effect on him. For a while, he even forgot that he wasn’t on Earth… Even though there was a skeleton in a red scarf and white apron over a superhero costume, standing in front of him, listening to him with curiosity. 

“Is that so? I've never thought about it that way before. I thought you could learn to cook once and for all… Are you saying that you can never achieve perfection?”

“I'm saying there's always something to learn,” Lars corrected him. “Whether you're a beginner or a chef. Even when it seems like you know all the tricks, there's something you've never tried… But that's why it's so exciting! Don't you think so?”

“I guess? Is that what you were thinking when you opened your bakery shop? Even though you knew your skills weren't perfect, you still decided to take the risk?” Papyrus tilted his head, glaring intently at him. The strange tone in his voice made Lars think for a moment before he voiced his thoughts.

But only for a moment.

“Honestly? I wasn't thinking about anything at all! I just wanted to share with the world what I can do, no matter how less than perfect it is. After all, you know what they say… Perfect is the enemy of good.”

“I've never heard that phrase,” Papyrus admitted. “But it sounds rather life-affirming.”

“So it is.”

“And yet! To open your own shop without having complete confidence that you will succeed... That's very brave. Your friends must admire you!”

“Well, shop was doing really well from the very opening day. So I guess everyone in town likes my bakery?" Lars scratched his cheek shyly. "Though, I used to be embarrassed to tell others I enjoy baking…”

“Are you kidding?!” Papyrus exclaimed. “But it is such a wonderful skill! You should have been proud of it, not ashamed!”

Lars smiled again, feeling a little obliged. It was nice of him to say that…

“Heh. Thank you, Pap…”

“You shouldn't thank me, Human, it's true! You deserve the praise!”

“No, I just… It's not a big deal.”

“Not a big deal?! You put your time and effort into learning how to bake. And you opened a shop just to make everyone happy! Isn't that enough to be proud of yourself? What a strange human you are!”

Papyrus put his hands on his hips angrily, as Rodonite often did when she had to prove Lars some simple truth. The exact same stern expression flashed across his face… Lars pursed his lips and unconsciously began tapping his fingers on the table. Even though the conversation was pleasant, the thought about the Off Colors left behind on a strange planet never leave him even for a second - especially now that he himself was safe and warm. An unpleasant, unsettling premonition pricked his chest…

But he forced himself to brush it off. Off Colors are not little children, they are real professionals! Even without a captain, they are able to make the right decision! He shouldn't have doubted them. Ever.

“Um, Papyrus? The water's boiling up.”

The skeleton gasped and immediately turned back to the stove. Lars leaned slightly to the side so he could keep a better eye on him.

Come to think about it, what can he do now? Cold and bone tired, he didn’t even know where he was exactly and how to get out of here… Even if Lars will rush around the city nonstop, pestering everyone with questions, asking to bring him back to his crew, he would accomplish nothing. Nothing good, for sure. It could also attract the attention of someone much less friendly than Papyrus. He mustn't hurry. There was time for everything - and now it was the time to rest and gain strength.

So, putting his thoughts in order and watching Papyrus who was busy cooking, Lars once again felt sleepy. However, a light breeze from somewhere on the right-hand side made him shiver. He turned around… and almost jumped up from his chair, meeting his gaze with Sans.

“Sup, Lars,” he said, as if nothing had happened. The pirate prevented himself from falling to the floor only by grabbing the edge of the table with his fingers. Papyrus, on the other hand, wasn’t impressed by his brother's sudden appearance at all.

“Sans! You are just in time for dinner. I am very proud of you!”

“Heh. Couldn’t miss dinner with such a funtastic company,” short skeleton replied, slyly glancing at the pirate, patting the dog, who crawled out from under the table. Lars took a deep breath. It looks like he should have started getting used to these tricks. Otherwise he risked getting a heart attack one of these days…

***

In an hour, dinner was ready. The pasta with tomato and meat sauce looked just fine, as if it came out of a picture from some culinary magazine! Of course, Lars had already realized that it was a crime to underestimate Papyrus… But he still did not expect the skeleton to be as skilled in cooking as in battle.

“This is a new dish for me, to be honest,” Papyrus admitted, which only increased the level of admiration. “I only tried to cook it a few times so… I'd like to know your opinion, Human!”

“Well, in that case…”

The pirate picked up the spaghetti and sauce on a fork. The smell of fried and stewed meat, the aroma of tomatoes and spices was really good. He put the fork in his mouth, and it didn't take him even a second to realize that the taste was… just awful.

Tasteless rubber paste. And what with this sauce? Is it even edible? Lars glanced at the skeleton, who was standing a few steps away from him, nervously wringing his hands and looking at him with hope hidden in his eyes… and realized that he simply could not bring himself to tell that food was inedible. Even if it kills him.

“Okay, well… I can assure you that…” he paused for a short while, forcing himself to swallow this… thing. “The taste is just, um… indescribable?”

“You mean it?” Papyrus beamed. Lars nodded, putting a smile on his face.

“Sure…”

“Oh, I'm so glad to hear that! In that case, I'll pack a food for you!” the skeleton, beaming with joy, turned to the kitchen cabinet and started searching for something, while Lars watched him with empty eyes and mentally gave his thanks to all the gods, demons and especially Steven that he didn't need to eat at all. Meanwhile, Papyrus let out a displeased sigh and asked his brother:

“Sans, where are all the containers I bought?”

“In the living room.”

“Why are the containers in the living room, Sans?”

“Chillin'.”

Papyrus rolled his eyes and left the kitchen, apparently deciding not to waste time on meaningless conversation with his brother. After he left, Sans suddenly nudged Lars' arm with his elbow.

“Hey, pal. This will probably surprise you, but… you’re actually the first who complimented my brother’s cooking.”

“Whaaaat, no way, are you kidding…”

“That’s very nice of you,” skeleton added. Lars wasn't sure, but he seemed to catch the sincerity in his voice. “You see, Pap is still very insecure about his cooking skills. But he tries very hard. So thanks for trying to make him believe in himself. I owe you one.”

Lars thought for a moment, looking at the plate. The dish literally begged to be thrown into the nearest trash can. How can it be so beautiful and taste so bad at the same time? It's a damn shame…

And yet the pirate took a deep breath and wrapped more spaghetti around the fork.

“Well… Those fucking alien rocks couldn't take me. This can’t be worse.”

Chapter Text

The rest of the evening Lars was enjoying warmth. His captain suit was soaked to the skin and in some places was even covered with a thin ice crust - seeing this, Papyrus insisted Lars immediately change into what he and his brother found for him. Fortunately, Sans had a whole heap of oversized hoodies, and Lars and Papyrus were practically the same size (add or subtract the presence of muscle and skin on the bones), so there was no problem with that. Although the clothes were old and worn, for some reason it fit Lars perfectly, as happens with clothes that you wear for many years in a row. Soft gray jeans, a t-shirt with a washed-out print and a warm hoodie in a dark brown color seemed to be the most comfortable clothes he had ever worn! Much more comfortable than his captain suit, which was drying out somewhere. Papyrus, however, even in spite of the unpresentable appearance, liked this suit at first sight.

“When I first saw you, I immediately thought you were not an ordinary human! If not an evil genius, then probably an adventurer. Such stylish clothes speak for itself! And it is not suitable for daily wear, so…” Papyrus gave a short glance at the pirate. “Am I right?”

“Well, if you're curious,” Lars responded in a proud tone. “I'm the captain of the spaceship, actually.”

“A REAL spaceship?!”

Lars caught a stir on the other side of the couch, where Sans was lying upside down. It looked like he managed to get even his attention.

“Real, of course!” he laughed, petting the dog, who was lying on his lap. Papyrus stared at him in admiration.

“And you have your own crew, right? Like in that book you read to me, Sans, remember?”

The small skeleton nodded silently. He was still lying in the same position, but his face was turned towards them.

“Yup, I have a crew. They’re all so cool... I actually became what I am now thanks to them… But it's a long story.”

“Oh, tell us that story!” Papyrus asked in an imploring tone, moving closer to him with every word. “Please, please, please!”

“Okay, okay, no need to beg!” Lars laughed again. “Well, where to start…”

Sitting on an uncomfortable couch under the dim light of a lamp, wrapping himself in a blanket and interrupting only to answer Papyrus' numerous questions, Lars told them everything. About gems. About Steven. He even mentioned the roll that he threw in the trash – it had an important role in this whole story after all. And then, he finally got down to the story of how he ended up in Homeworld and how he met his future incredible and coolest crew ever - the Off colors. How they made a daring escape together and stole Emerald’s ship, and how they became space pirates… Throughout the story, Papyrus looked so inspired, as if he had just decided for himself that he would also definitely fly into a space. Sans finally sat down, paying great attention to Lars' story, without even interrupting him with some stupid puns. Even though there were a lot of moments for this…

Lars also told them about the recent events. The distress signal he received, the device that transported him into the Snowdin forest… Lars saw Sans frown when he described the device and the way it reacted to him. But maybe he just imagined things…

“Space… what's it like?” Papyrus suddenly asked quietly when Lars paused to finish his already cold tea.

“Space? Oooh, I'm afraid words cannot convey it! The space is incredible! It is endless, full of secrets you may never solve. Unless you have an indefinite number of extra years left…” Lars coughed. “There are… so many planets. Nebulas. Millions, no, billions of bright stars! From a distance they all seem to be silvery-white… But you should have seen how beautiful the warm orange stars are! Calm blue and explosive red. In space, they’re all so different, each with its own history and character. So many stars that at some point you are risking to lose yourself. To forget about time and space… about everything…”

Realizing that his thoughts were taking him too far, Lars interrupted himself and sank to the back of the couch, raising his eyes to the ceiling. The ghosts of planets, stars, and entire galaxies flashed before him. His own speech suddenly squeezed all his remaining energy out of him. He couldn't have imagined that he missed it all so much…

“Wow. Sounds awesome,” that was the first thing Sans said during the entire conversation. There was nothing expressive in the tone of his voice, but that was probably better for Lars. It helped sober him up a little.

“Now I want to see the real stars even more!” Papyrus sighed dreamily. “I bet the flickering crystals in Waterfall are no match for them!”

And in that moment Lars suddenly slapped his forehead so hard it made both brothers and their dog flinch. Without explanation, he jumped off the couch and ran to the table where he left his belt, next to Sans' pet rock. Noticing how sharply the object of his observation moved towards the door, the dog ran after him, barking warningly at him, and fell silent only when Papyrus shushed him.

“Aha! I knew I took it with me!”

“Took what with you?”

The pirate returned, demonstratively tossing a small box in his hand. On the way, he flipped a switch, plunging the room into near-total darkness.

“What’s this for?” Sans nodded at the thing in his hand.

“What, this old thing? It's just a pocket-sized holographic projector, oh, my bone buddy. Now get ready, my friends, ‘coz you are gonna witness something incredible…”

If it works, of course, Lars added to himself, trying to hide anxiety. It would be very embarrassing if nothing happened after such an intriguing start… But, despite all his worries, when the pirate carefully put the box on his open palm and pressed it with his thumb, the ceiling and part of the walls of the living room turned into the starry sky…

The deep blackness was scattered by the billions of lights. They were different sizes and shapes, shining white, like snow-flakes in the night. Blinked and flickered away, yet they always returned - like shy but curious little creatures hiding in the shadows.

They were stars.

On the wall on the second floor, where doors to the brothers' rooms were, stars merged into a silvery blue ribbon that took a pale pink color as it was getting closer to Sans' room. The image moved. The stars danced slowly along the walls and ceiling, replacing each other, and soon the blues colors of the sky gave way to warm orange and red.

Lars' voice cut through the silence as something resembling a bright blue eye with a sparkly layer around it settled in the center of the ceiling:

“This is the Helix Nebula. Pretty cool, huh? It looks more like an eye if you ask me, but… Well, whatever you call it, it’s beautiful. And this one…”

Lars turned the gear on the right side of the box. The picture of the starry sky shifted, and soon the new breathtaking picture appeared on the ceiling. From a certain viewing angle it was resembling a person’s head surrounded by a puffy hood.

“…the Eskimo Nebula! It is located in the constellation of Gemini and it is also Rutile’s favorite thing in the world. They even call it their lucky nebula.”

He remembered how the twins were standing together and looking at the nebula through the dense windows of the ship. Arguing about the color of its separate gas filaments. Counting the stars around it. They were so happy.

“There are so many more of them, you can't count! Oh, let me show you what the constellations look like! Now, just look at this… this…”

But Lars stopped short as his gaze fell on the brothers. Of course, he wanted to impress them with this performance, but he didn't expect to see them… like this. Both froze on the couch, fascinated by the illusion, as if they had seen this for the very first time in their lives... Did Lars just say something wrong? Or did something he shouldn’t do?…

Sans' expression was… hard to understand. A mix of pain, sadness… and also fascination. His eyes were twitching slightly, as if he wanted to close them, just not to see what he was looking at. And at the same time he couldn't look away… Papyrus, on the other hand, seemed completely enchanted as he was slowly turning his head from one placer of stars to another. Lars felt vague melancholy, watching him stretch out his hand, as if he wanted to touch the bright blue star above him.

The hologram suddenly blinked and then disappeared, plunging the room into pitch darkness… Even with the lights on, it never was too bright, but… it didn't cause any inconvenience before. For now, Lars felt how hard this darkness pressed on him, intending to pin him to the floor, forcing him not to move, not to do anything. Not even breathing… Silence absorbed the house for several long minutes, rarely broken by random sounds from the street and the ticking of the wall clock.

“I… I'm sorry.”

Why was he apologizing? Did it come out automatically? Lars tucked the holographic projector into his hoodie pocket and squeezed it in his hand, forcing himself to speak again.

“This is just a hologram, but… You know what? I'll show you the real stars. I promise.”

Two pairs of surprised eyes that seemed even darker and deeper in the darkness stared at him. Don’t need to be overly observant to realize that this unexpected promise had caught both brothers off guard. Sans leaned back on the couch, too abruptly to call it a natural movement, and laughed nervously.

“Heh, yeah. I hope you crossed your fingers, kid.”

Dog jumped on the couch, and Sans immediately called him over, pretending that he’s very busy scratching the fluffy dog’s belly.

But Lars didn't make that promise by accident. He was serious.

“No, I… Look, I have enough room on the ship if you’re worried about that. And my crew will not mind, really! I, oof-”

He hadn't noticed when Papyrus quietly slid off the couch, approached him and hugged him so tightly that the air left his lungs.

“P-Pap? What are you…”

“You don’t have to promise us anything,” Papyrus said in a hollow voice, his face practically buried into Lars’ shoulder. The pirate froze with his arms raised above him, hesitating to hug him back. He didn’t get a chance to do it though, because the skeleton suddenly recoiled, smiling broadly and brightly. This house doesn’t need the light of electric lamps - Papyrus did an excellent job of lighting on his own.

“You've already done too much for us! I never imagined that someday I could look at this beauty even out of the corner of my eye! Truly, real stars are so bright…” Papyrus turned to his brother. “Aren't they much brighter than crystals, Sans?”

“Right, bro,” the small skeleton agreed with a soft smile on his face. Then he waved his hand and the switch clicked by itself. The light in the room came on again, which made Lars, who already got used to the dark, squeeze his eyes shut. “The crystals are really no match for the real stars.”

“Okay, there is one thing I don't understand,” Lard said, perplexed. “What crystals are you two talking about? And why have you never seen real stars?”

Brothers looked at each other with concern, and an unpleasant feeling crept into Lars' soul.

“Um… Guys?”

“You better sit down, buddy,” Sans patted his hand on the couch. “I’m going to tell you a story…”

Chapter Text

“Everything you see is a limited closed area. You won’t see the stars from here… Except for the miserable parodies of them, in the form of energy lamps created by monsters. Or the shining crystals growing in some zones. But the real sky is hidden from us by an unbreakable stone. We are lucky to see only a hint of sunlight: in certain places with the cracks on the walls, it seeps in here and gives food to the earth, covering it with a carpet of golden flowers. But even if there were someone among us who could fly, we still wouldn’t be able to get out through these crevices. In addition to the stone, a strong magical force separates the Underground from the Surface. The Barrier, that humans put here long ago.”

Sans spoke in a monotone voice, looking neither at Lars nor Papyrus. His hand continued to run up and down the fur of the dog lying on his lap, as if it had a calming effect on him. Shocked by the beginning of the story, Lars was peering into skeleton's face, hoping that he would grin, raise the corners of his eyes, give a slightest hint that he was just kidding!

But Sans was dead serious.

“If you ask me why, well… I don’t know. Papyrus and I, we weren’t here when all this happened. Those who still remember the sunlight say that a long time ago a war broke out between humans and monsters. And the winners, as you may see, were the humans. They reserved the right to live on the Surface, and the monsters were locked here, with a huge barrier neither of us managed to get through. Pretty sophisticated punishment for the losers, doncha' think?”

Lars remained silent. He couldn’t say anything to this, he was just… mad. But he was afraid his strong reaction would only upset brothers, so he continued to listen silently.

The skeleton paused briefly before speaking again - this time he accelerated the pace of the story, as if he suddenly wanted to end this conversation as soon as possible.

“The legend says that the Barrier can be destroyed. But we need seven human souls for it. Now, I bet you can guess what this is all about. The reason why Papyrus was going to capture you…”

Sans' white pupils darted to his younger brother, who was still standing in front of the couch with his arms wrapped around himself. His shoulders all high and tense and his eyes directed to the floor. But somehow he realized that Sans was looking right at him, and continued the story:

“The Royal Guard was made for it. They patrol the surroundings, guard the peace of the monsters… and hunt down humans who have fallen into the Underground in order to bring them to our king, Asgore Dreemurr. I've… I've always wanted to be a part of the Royal Guard. To be useful for the monsters. But I had to prove my worth to them first, by catching a human if they came from the forests of Snowdin. If I could do it, Undyne would officially make me a Guard and that… that would be my dream come true. But…”

“And the fulfillment of all our dreams,” Sans added. “Because, you see, buddy. You are, in fact, the last remaining soul.”

“The last… soul?” Lars repeated awkwardly, looking at the silhouette of Papyrus, barely visible in the dimly lit living room, nervously pulling on his scarf.

“Yup. Humans have come here several times. Someone, driven by curiosity, came directly to the royal castle through the Barrier. Someone was brought here by stormy waters. But many years have passed since we saw the last human here. We have practically lost hope. And then… here you are. In the Snowdin forest. Funny, huh?”

“Sans, this is not funny at all!!” Papyrus put so much emotion into these words that it came out much louder than he expected. Realizing this, he covered his mouth with his hands. 

But Sans only smiled in response.

“I know what everyone dreams about,” Papyrus said very quietly. “This is my dream too, you know! But you have heard about Fluorite, the Rutile twins, Rhodonite and Padparadscha, have you? They're out there somewhere, alone among the stars, waiting for their captain to return. Do we really have any right to separate them? This is just... not fair.”

“What do you mean, bro?”

The skeleton paused for a few moments, his eyes were still fixed on the dark floor.

“It… it doesn't have to be Lars…”

The pirate widened his eyes in surprise, literally for the first time hearing Papyrus call him by his name. He was already used to simple "Human", and his own name now sounded so strange, harsh and… alien even. Lars wanted to correct him. Clarify if it was a mistake. Or was Papyrus just mocking him?… Damn it, why did he even need an explanation? Why does this absolutely meaningless detail suddenly turn out to be so important to him?

“Perhaps, there will be another human… Evil and dishonest. Someone who deserves to… well…” Papyrus' face was almost completely hidden under his red scarf, so it was harder to make out his words. “But Lars should return home. To his crew. I bet they are… worried sick about him…”

Then it got quiet. Too quiet. It seemed that silence took over the entire space. Despite the fact that all three were at some distance from each other, everyone suddenly felt it became so stuffy and cramped in the spacious living room. Papyrus squeezed his scarf with his fingers, Sans was still petting the dog without even looking at anyone.

Lars wondered if he got it right. So… he wasn’t in another world? He never moved to another planet or some other galaxy? Everything turned out to be much easier than he thought ever since began to wander through the snow-covered forest and meet various creatures that he could only see in books, films or computer games before. Lars was still on the same strange, abandoned planet. But somewhere deep, deep underground.

The brothers talked about… people? Papyrus called him a "human". Sans talked about the war in which they, the monsters, fought against the race that bears the same name as the inhabitants of Lars' home planet. So people lived here too? Did they look like him? Did they have the same abilities? No, judging by Sans' story, these humans could do something… more. Something that helped them imprison an entire race in caves underground.

But what happened to these "humans", since now the entire outer part of the planet was completely empty? And should he talk about this with brothers?

“Actually it…”

“Doesn’t matter.”

Lars flinched when Sans' indifferent voice cut him off, then tried to focus his eyes on him. Did he miss something? Because, before he was distracted by his own thoughts, Sans looked pretty lost, but now he was sprawled on the other side of the couch with his hands behind his head, looking so relaxed. His eyebrows were raised up and his eyes were closed, as if a great big thing had been lifted off his shoulders. The dog was already awake and moved across the couch to Lars, playing with his hoodie strings.

“Um… What exactly?” the pirate asked with caution, taking the string away from the dog.

“You know. All of this,” Sans shook his head and opened his left eye, looking at Papyrus. “If this is what you want… How ‘bout we won't tell anyone that a new human has fallen from the Surface and take this guy out of here. Whatcha think, bro?”

“You… are you serious?” the younger skeleton asked in surprise.

“Yup. You know it, Pap. I am always on your side.”

“Sans…”

“Generally speaking, Lars can easily cross the Barrier, because it has no effect on those who have a strong soul. So all we have to do is to make sure he gets to the Barrier in one piece. Not such a difficult task.”

“But how do I know if I have a strong soul?” the pirate asked doubtfully.

“Are you a human?”

“I… yes?”

“Then don’t worry,” Sans gave him a calm smile. “You are the owner of a strong soul. I assure you.”

Papyrus clapped his hands happily and rushed to his brother, squeezed him tight. Lars felt how something that had fettered his heart with heavy chains, finally shattered into pieces. And not only because he now had a hope to return to his crew safe and sound…

“Oh, Sans, you are the best!” Papyrus exclaimed, hugging his brother. “Then we will discuss the plan of action tomorrow morning! Until then, everyone should get a good night's sleep!”

“What, even you?” Sans grinned. For some reason, Papyrus ignored the question. Instead, he pulled his brother over, forcing him to get off the couch, and pushed him towards the stairs, making it clear that they were going to beds right now.

“I'll get you a pillow and a blanket, Lars. I’m terribly sorry, we have only this couch...” he smiled apologetically. “But I’ll make sure Sans won’t wake you up with his nightly wanderings around the house!”

“Oh, it’s fine, don’t worry… I usually sleep very soundly,” the pirate preferred to keep silent about the fact that he doesn't even need to sleep. Although, frankly, today he was going to try to do it.

  ***

But even when everything went quiet, and Lars remained in the living room alone, he couldn’t sleep. He took off his hoodie, left it hanging on the back of the couch, and lay under a blanket. His eyes thoughtlessly followed the motes of dust floating in the air, while the events of the day passed by in his head. An unnaturally pale light poured from the window, giving the walls of the room a ghostly bluish tint, which gave the impression that the world around the pirate was not real. As if all this was just his imagination, a dream, a hallucination with no way out…

Lars was feeling down.

The thoughts in his head, like a flock of swallows, rushed from the story about the barrier to the six human souls that the monsters already had in their hands. And from them to his friends who remained outside. On the Surface. Could they hear Lars from here? Most likely not.

Are they all right?…

Lars touched his hair with his hand, checked again to see if it worked. He still hoped that something would change and his abilities would start working normally. But the portal in his head didn’t work here, in this godforsaken place. He will not be able to take Sans and Papyrus out of here the way he helped Steven escape from the Homeworld.

Lars felt his soul about to be torn apart.

He sighed heavily and covered his face with his hands. No matter how heavy the burden of the monsters was, he had his own life and responsibilities. Right? He was the captain of the Off colors. He definitely had to return, even if it means that Sans and Papyrus will…

No. If not for himself, then for the Off colors. He had to leave.

Lars gritted his teeth, filled with determination.

Chapter Text

A quiet, indistinct noise made Lars squeeze his eyes shut and cover himself with the blanket with his head. He lay there for a while, before finally waking up… and then, opened his eyes wide in surprise and sat on the couch, trying to remember when exactly did he fall asleep. Since he changed his human color to a flower-pink, the need for regular sleep has disappeared. Sure, Lars could still sink into oblivion at will, enjoying some extremely realistic dreams, but…

He seems to have fallen asleep tonight. He couldn’t remember the details of the dream - moreover, he was almost sure that he hadn’t dreamed of anything. So he was just sleeping? Just like the most ordinary person? And he actually had a good night's sleep! Well, his back ached because of the uncomfortable position… but still.

“Huh… Feels funny…”

Lars scratched the back of his head in puzzlement and looked around the room. It was much lighter in the morning. The feeling of surreal and ominous surroundings, which tormented him during the night, now disappeared - he was in the most ordinary living room with the most ordinary walls painted with burgundy paint, and sat on the most ordinary green couch. He raised his head and stood up a little to peer over the stair rail to the second floor. The door to Papyrus' room was half open but, judging by the delicious smell and sounds of humming coming from the kitchen, the skeleton wasn’t there. Lars got up, rubbed his eyes and stretched. Then, folding the blanket and pillow into the corner of the couch, he leisurely walked into the kitchen, throwing hoodie over his shoulders.

Papyrus was already standing at the stove cooking breakfast. He changed his heroic costume for jeans and a beige sweater with wide sleeves rolled up to the elbow. Only the red scarf around the neck remained unchanged. The pirate noticed that, unlike clothes that his older brother wore, and which he kindly lent to Lars, Papyrus' clothes looked almost like new…

The dog, who was supposed to "keep an eye on the human", was sitting under the table watching his owner carefully. Waiting for a snack, probably.

“Oh!”

Lars flinched. Looks like Papyrus finally noticed he wasn’t alone in the kitchen. However, the fright immediately changed to a cheerful smile, and the skeleton threw the pan forward, upward, and back in a sharp motion, flipping the omelet.

“Good morning! You're just in time for breakfast!”

“Yeah, morning… Have you even slept tonight?” Lars asked, just in case.

“The Great Papyrus never sleeps!” Papyrus said proudly and cut a piece of freshly made omelet, offering it to the dog. While the little furball was hiding deeper under the table with the long awaited snack, Lars peered at Papyrus, hoping that he was at least half-joking. Seeing someone so cheerful this early in the morning always annoyed him terribly. But right now he was rather worried…

Suddenly something gently but persistently pushed him aside, and then Sans walked into the kitchen, squeezing between Lars and the doorframe. He looked so unbearably sleepy, the pirate assumed that today only two were sleeping in this house - he and the dog.

“Sans! Good morning to you too,” Papyrus exclaimed with a mixture of joy and big surprise. “You're so early today, I'm impressed!”

The small skeleton grumbled something in response as he sat down at the table, supporting his heavy head with his hand. He doesn’t even open his eyes as if he was determined to sleep off right here…

And then Lars realized something.

“Wait a minute. Did you just walk in here… I mean, on your feet? But what about teleportations? Sudden appearances from nowhere?”

“Listen, kid, it's only five in the morning,” Sans muttered under his breath. “I can't even breathe this early. And if you keep joking, you’ll stop breathing too.”

Lars’ lips curled into a grin. Although he really wanted to take revenge on Sans for yesterday's pranks, he didn’t comment on this. It may be that at such an early morning he won’t be as kind and lazy as usual.

After breakfast friends moved back to the living room to discuss a plan for further action. Sans said there was only one place in the Underground where Lars could walk through - the Barrier in the royal castle. So they were planning to take him there. Although it sounded suicidal, the brothers assured there shouldn't be a problem. The main thing - in this both brothers agreed - they should avoid meeting with the members of the Royal Guard. Especially with their captain…

“…So, there are no hidden paths that the guards won't patrol?” Lars looked up from the map Papyrus handed him.

“You think the king would have left at least one corner without a patrol, considering there have already been humans here?” Sans chuckled. “Hate to disappoint ya, kid.”

“And no quick ways to get to the castle?”

“There's river station nearby, but there is always a guard,” Papyrus said. “Sans uses shortcuts sometimes… but we don't know how it works on humans. There’s a chance you won't survive such teleportations.”

“Oh…”

“Do not worry! Of course, we have a rather risky journey ahead of us… But it might be fun too!”

“Plus, walking is good… for bones,” Sans added in a mocking tone.

“Well, as a matter of fact, yes!”

Lars pondered, staring at the map once again. Yes, the chances of meeting the guards were very high. But they could always run or hide from them. On the other hand, to risk his life, checking whether his body would withstand some strange teleportations…

“All right! If the only way to get to this place is on foot… so be it. Let's just hope the members of the Royal Guard are not very good runners…”

“Are you kidding me, these monsters are the elite! Without exception, they all undergo rigorous physical training. Of course they’re good runners!” Papyrus protested. The pirate cowered under his stern look, burying his face deeper into the map.

“That’s cool, Pap. But this fact doesn't make me feel better…”

The skeleton gasped and began to apologize for his sharp reaction, though Lars never thought to be offended by it. After all, Papyrus was preparing to join the Royal Guard - of course he had the highest opinion of them!

By the way.

“Um, Papyrus? I just want to make sure I understand. You can't join the Royal Guard until you catch a human. Is that right?”

Papyrus’ face was confused only for a few seconds before meeting Lars' anxious gaze. But then he smiled softly, as if he didn’t feel even a bit of sadness about it.

“It’s okay, Lars. It sure is my greatest dream, but I… I don’t want to achieve it like this. Not through the life of an innocent person. Therefore, please do not blame yourself. This is my own decision, and mine alone.”

Pirate's heart sank. But at the same time he felt grateful. The contradictory nature of these feelings raised a real storm in his soul, but he suppressed it. He had already made a decision and wasn't going to think it over again. It'll only make things harder…

“Pap. You're so cool, you know that?”

“Me? Cool? Do you really…” Papyrus blinked. “I mean, well, of course I am! The coolest skeleton alive!”

His eyes nervously ran along the walls, as if he was looking for something - anything - to quickly change the subject. Lars had never expected such a reaction from someone who recently called himself "The Great". But, perhaps, he should apologize for the uninvited compliment and try to divert the conversation himself… but, unexpectedly for everyone, Sans came to the rescue.

“Those guys who patrol Hotland, they're not very smart. I bet getting around them won't be a problem. There are no guards in Waterfall tho…”

“That's good, right?” Lars raised an eyebrow.

“How to say. This is Undyne’s territory and, well. I’m not sure she needs any help with patrolling. She's got everything in hand. It will be hard to go unnoticed… But I’ve got a plan.”

“You do?” Papyrus said, rather surprised. Sans nodded.

“Once we get to Waterfall, I'll go ahead and let you know if I meet her. Simple and ingenious, right?”

“Sans, this is… This is quite an elaborate plan!” Papyrus appreciated. The small skeleton shrugged and calmly gazed at his brother.

“What? You thought I could only sleep on my job, didn't you?”

“Of course not!! I always said there is a huge unrealized potential hidden in you! You’re just…” Papyrus fell silent for a moment, trying to find the words. ”Usually don’t care much…”

Sans' eyes twinkled strangely, and Lars realized this wouldn’t end well.

“You're right, bro. I shouldn't be so careless most of the time.”

“Sans.”

“But I am lucky to have a brother as caring as you.”

“Sans, please…”

“So I probably should thank you for your advice and your carefulness…”

“OH MY GOD!” Papyrus jumped from the couch and threw up his hands. ”Sans, could you please do me a favor!”

“Sure thing, bro, you know that’s my favorite thing to do,” Sans smiled broadly. Lars hid his face in his hands, but couldn’t help laughing at his jokes. But it really wasn't so bad! Still, Lars was afraid to even look Papyrus in the eyes – he was sure that he would see only deep disappointment there.

Through muffled laughter, he heard the older brother's voice: “What? He’s in a good mood now!“ then the sound of Papyrus’ deep sigh. Lars rubbed his eyes and held his breath to calm himself. When he raised his head, Papyrus wasn’t in the room. There was only him, Sans and the dog.

“Um…”

“He’ll be back soon,” Sans waved his hand. “Ya think Pap took offense and left you here with me as punishment?”

“Well, maybe I deserved it?” Lars smiled and ran his hand over his face, rubbing his eyes once again. “Papyrus doesn't like your puns too much, does he?”

“He thinks it's lazy and stupid. Mostly lazy. And he's right I guess, to laugh at this sort of joke is a bit beneath his dignity. My bro has a subtle sense of humor, you see, ” said the skeleton, leaning back on the couch. He wasn’t even trying to hide the admiration for his brother. “As it should be for a monster of his level.”

“Obviously…”

Lars suddenly fell silent. He folded his hands in his lap and began to run his thumb over the knuckles of his other hand. Everything about him began to give out nervousness. Sans pretended not to notice, but soon Lars broke the silence himself:

“Actually, Sans, I wanted to ask you something… You said that you and Papyrus did not participate in the war, right? Does this mean you haven’t seen the surface since birth?”

"Yeah. Why?" the skeleton asked indifferently.

“Then how can you be sure… that everything is much better there than here?”

Pictures of the empty, lifeless planet he landed on with the Off colors flashed before Lars' eyes. These pictures had been popping up in his head since yesterday evening, but the pirate didn’t want to talk about it in front of Papyrus for some reason...

“None of us have any idea what awaits us on the Surface. But you have to agree, everything is better than a life bounded by dry stone walls,” Sans replied. “Sure we know it won’t be easy. But it will be... different there. And that's better than staying here forever. Don't cha think?”

“I… yeah. Of course it is better.” Lars whispered in response. “This was a dumb question. Sorry for asking.”

“No problem, pal.”

At that moment, a door slammed on the second floor, making Lars almost jump out of his seat. Papyrus walked down the stairs, holding an old shabby backpack in his arms. Once he came down, he handed the backpack to the pirate, smiling cheerfully as if it wasn’t him who was upset at Sans for his puns just a few minutes ago.

“What’s that for?” Lars asked.

“Well, you're not going to carry your suit in your hands, right?”

The pirate finally realized that the backpack wasn’t empty – his washed and neatly pressed captain's suit, as well as the belt and all other things that Lars had with him, were already folded into it.

“Wha- When did you… Wait,” Lars reaches up to scratch his neck, feeling a little bit awkward. “Dude… You didn't have to do that, really…”

“Nonsense! I had some free time,” Papyrus shook his head. Lars wondered when exactly he found "free time" for all this. “I just thought it would be better to stay in these clothes while you’re here. You know… So as not to attract attention.”

“True. Well anyway, thank you, Pap, I… I really appreciate this.”

“You're welcome!” the skeleton’s smile shines even brighter.

“Just don’t forget to return my hoodie at the end.” Sans smirked.

“Do you really need it, Sans?” Papyrus put his hands on his hips and leaned forward, giving his brother a doubtful look. “You have been wearing the same one for several years!”

“Well you know. It has some sentimental value.”

Lars smiled, listening to the little argument between brothers. But soon he was carried away with uneasy feelings. Everyone in this house was so kind to him. If only he could do something for them in return…

Chapter Text

Papyrus put his boots on and looked up at their small squad: two skeletons, a human and the dog. Quite a motley group, so to speak, but he was sure monsters are used to it. Maybe they will reach the royal castle without encountering any difficulties or curious questions along the way. Hopefully…

“So, our primary concern is do not let Undyne see us,” he reminded, adjusting his red scarf. Sans nodded calmly in response. It was hard to believe that he actually took part in this adventure! Usually it was a huge challenge to make Sans do even his own job. This skeleton was so lazy, it seemed he usually listened to others with half an ear or completely ignored them even... But this time it was different, and Papyrus was really happy his brother was by his side.

“Got it, bro. After leaving Snowdin I'll take a shortcut and inform you if something goes wrong.”

“Okay. But promise me…”

“…to be as careful as possible. Stay cool, bro. Undyne won't even notice me.”

A slight smile flashed across Papyrus' face.

“Okay. Thank you, Sans. Now, is everyone ready?”

“Ready as never before!”

“Never been more ready.”

“Woof!”

Papyrus leaned over to the dog and patted him between his ears. Of course, his opinion was also taken into account!

Then Lars suddenly asked: “What about you, Papyrus?”

The skeleton hesitated for a second, then looked up at him. He saw a strange expression come over the human's face... His brows raised and drawn together, his eyes watched him carefully. Come to think of it, Undyne often had the same expression, especially when she asked Papyrus how he was feeling after a hard workout. Was he worried? Doesn't seem like it. Quite the opposite – Lars looked bold and determined. Well he had to! After all, he was going on a long and dangerous journey. He should’ve stayed confident.

Everything will be fine. The Great Papyrus will make sure of that!

“Of course I'm ready!” Papyrus said excitedly and smiled, demonstrating a good fighting spirit. “It'll be so cool! Such an experience. We're just like the main characters from the adventure story!”

“With a happy ending, I suppose?”

“Don't you even dare to doubt it, Sans! I know you may find it useless, but we need to stay positive! This is the only way to achieve everything you want. With belief and hard work!”

Sans wanted to say something, but only waved his hand at his brother right after his last phrase. Papyrus gave him a suspicious look before turning around and finally opened the door.

Then suddenly slammed it back, leaned against it.

“What's the matter, bro? What's the holdup?” Sans asked, tilting his head to one side. There was such an innocent expression on his face that Papyrus almost began to suspect it was some sort of stupid prank…

No. Sans wouldn't joke like that even on his worst days.

“It's her !” the skeleton whispered, panicked.

“Who?”

The question dumbfounded him. Papyrus began to gesticulate, unable to utter a word. After a moment he continued in a loud whisper:

“Who?! Are you serious, Sans? Who do you think it can be?!”

“Dunno. King Asgore?”

“Wha- Who- What? Heavens no! It’s Undyne !!!”

“Oh… So early in these parts? Shall we invite her for tea?

“Not fucking funny, man!” Lars whispered. Papyrus saw how scared he was. No wonder.

But why? Why did Undyne come here? Who… He certainly did not inform her about the Human! Now what were they supposed to do? Papyrus pressed his fists to his skull, thoughts swarmed his mind. Considering that Undune was practically on their doorstep, they really had no choice…

“Sans. Hide Lars in your room, please. I'll distract Undyne and try to get her out of the way. But if…”

A strong knock on the door drowned out his quiet speech. They heard a worried voice coming from the other side:

“Papyrus! Are you home?”

A shiver ran through Papyrus' body and he leaned away from the door, covering his mouth with his hand so his voice sounded like from afar:

“Yeah, um… Just a minute, Undyne! Don’t… don't break the door, please!”

Meanwhile, Lars felt a hand grab his forearm. Sans put his finger to his mouth, urging him to keep very quiet, and led him towards the stairs. The dog, torn between duty and the desire to stay with Papyrus, began to whimper softly, but the skeleton silently ordered him to follow Sans and the human.

A minute later, after making sure the door to his brother's room was closed, Papyrus tiptoed deeper into the room and then returned to the front door again, making his footsteps sound louder. Perhaps he was overdoing it, but how could he know? He never had to lie like that before… He was nervous, trembling, but he understood he had to make every effort to look calm. The lock clicked. Papyrus took a deep breath, put his hand on the doorknob and turned it, opening the door...

“Howdy, Undyne!” Papyrus greeted with a wide smile, leaning against the doorframe. “What a pleasant surprise! May I ask what brings you to our humble abode this morning?”

Nailed it.

“Oh, thank goodness you're okay,” the captain of the Royal Guard breathed a sigh of relief. “You didn't show up for your training. I tried to call you, but the line was busy, and I… Urgh, what the heck, Papyrus?! You scared the hell out of me! I came running here straight from Waterfall! I do not mind a morning jog, but not with the risk of a heart attack!!”

Papyrus was silent for almost a minute, giving no reaction to her whole tirade. His phone… He hasn't checked it since yesterday. To be honest, he couldn't even remember where he left it. In the Snowdin forest, perhaps…?

“Pap!!”

“Huh? Oh yes! A training! A training…”

A TRAINING! His weekly early morning training with Undyne! God, how could THIS slip his mind?!

“Oh! S-sorry, Undyne! I… I have no idea what came over me! I just… I wasn't feeling well yesterday and my phone went missing somewhere and I wanted to call you, but… but…”

Papyrus cut himself off mid-sentence. The worried look on Undyne’s face slowly changed to disappointment. He had completely forgotten the last time she asked him to never use any excuses. Better say straight away that you messed up and work on it, than to look for reasons for your action – that's what she said…

“I mean… Forgive me, captain! This won't happen again, I promise!”

“I really hope so, Pap. After all, it's a danger zone here, and I wanna be able to contact you in case anything happens,” Undyne said, crossing her arms over her chest. Then suddenly looked around and added, lowering her voice: “Moreover, I’m not sure, but I heard someone had seen a human in the forest…”

“H-h-human? In the forest?" Papyrus felt the heat on his face. Just like that one time when he opened the oven and looked inside, checking if mac and cheese were ready. "Nonsense!! This is absolutely out of the question! Yesterday I patrolled the forest all day and hadn't met any, um, suspicious individuals… I mean… Maybe some drunk monsters saw my snowman and took it for a human? You know it, Undyne. There have been no humans since…”

Papyrus tried his best to hide his emotions. Undyne listened without even looking at him, and soon he began to worry she wouldn’t believe a single word. But…

“Yeah. You’re right, Papyrus. We haven't seen a single human after that strange earthquake,” she turned her face to her friend, giving him a bright smile. “But we’re still holding out hope, right?”

“Y-yes… of course, Undyne.”

Papyrus exhaled slowly, feeling a pang of guilt and regret in his chest. It was so surprisingly easy to decide and make up this whole plan to hide a human from the captain of the Royal Guard… But now, looking at her wide, sincere smile, the skeleton could barely restrain himself from telling the whole truth. After all, the thing they were about to do was contrary to basic common sense. It's Undyne! The most honest, loyal, kind and caring monster in the entire underground! How could he just lie to her face like that!

Maybe it's not too late. Maybe they must choose to trust her! Undyne would definitely understand if Papyrus explained his position to her properly. Moreover, she could help. She knows everything about the legend. And she always helped him with everything…

“Well then. I'm glad you're alright!” Undyne suddenly interrupted his heavy thoughts and clapped Papyrus on the shoulder. As usual, she didn't even try to control her strength… but he was so tense he didn't even flinch. “But next time you decide to skip our training without warning, you'll be running thirty laps around Hotland. Understood?”

"Yeah… Sure Un-"

She frowned with concern. Noticing this, Papyrus immediately pulled himself together, straightened up and blurted out in one breath:

“Got it, captain!!”

“Yeah, that’s the spirit,” Undyne smiled softly, slapped him on the shoulder again, but much more carefully, and moved towards the fog. “Okay, gotta run. Get well soon, Pap.”

She was already pretty far from the door, when suddenly turned around again, making Papyrus flinch again.

“If you don't feel better tomorrow, you can skip one more training session!”

“Oh okay… Thanks, Undyne!”

“But just one! And go to the doctor right away, okay?”

“Got it!”

“Tell Sans I said hi!”

“I will!”

“IT’S SEVEN IN THE MORNING, WILL YOU SHUT UP?!”

Papyrus shrank a bit, looking around. The one who shouted barely heard his quiet "sorry"… When Undyne finally disappeared into the fog, Papyrus stood in silence for a moment, waiting in case she would come back again. But she did not and Papyrus finally stepped back into the house. He closed the door and leaned back against it, then slid down to the floor, exhausted. Any other day Undyne's genuine concern for him would have touched him to the core, but now... he felt awful. Sitting on the floor, the skeleton pulled his knees up to his chest and rested head on them.

He lied to her.

He, the Great Papyrus, the hero of Snowdin. Defender of the innocent, protector of the weak. He, like no one else, should have known that giving misleading information is a flagrant crime! The credo of a real hero is to be honest! Real heroes never withhold the truth, even if it might play to their advantage. But Papyrus, who dreamed of becoming such a hero… he lied. Not just to anyone, but to Undyne herself! To his mentor! To his dear friend… Of course, he was forced to do it, he had to protect the human… But this did not diminish the fact that he grossly violated his own rule!

Suddenly, there was a sound of a creaking door from upstairs. Papyrus raised his head, smiling weakly at his brother and Lars, who appeared on the second floor. The dog stood there too, pressing his head to the human’s leg, whimpering softly.

“Sans, Undyne said hi.”

“Ok.”

“Is everything alright?” Lars asked, looking at Papyrus anxiously from above. Without waiting for an answer, he took a few steps towards the stairs, but the skeleton's voice made him stop.

“Yes! O-of course! Everything is just fine! But, maybe we should go on our adventure a bit later. You know, when everything settles down. Also, I think I left my phone in the forest…”

“I'll look for it,” Sans suggested. Papyrus immediately shook both his hands and head.

“No, no, do not bother yourself! I’ll do it! I wanted to take a walk anyway… to clear my head and think… You stay here. I’ll be back in a jiffy!”

And with these words, Papyrus stood up and slipped out the door, leaving the others at a loss.

Chapter Text

The light from the shimmering crystals were casting shadows on the cave walls. At first, it was quite light here and crystals didn’t attract attention, but as Lars and Papyrus moved further, the darkness absorbed them more and more, and the shadows became deeper. The silent shadows, swaying like gnarled branches in the wind, crept up to the ceiling, scattered and dissolved in the darkness. An image worthy of a horror movie. Sadie would love it for sure.

Fortunately, Lars wasn't here alone. The dog was walking ahead and Papyrus next to him, sharing an entertaining story about how Sans started his own business selling fake telescopes. The air was filled with the gentle murmur of water, flowing calmly on both sides of the road they walked on. There were huge chunks of ice floating down the river – the skeleton explained that these were needed to cool the mechanisms in the Core (a local power station, as far as Lars understood). And when the pirate asked about the stormy streams flowing into these rivers, Papyrus told him something interesting:

“Water flows here from the surface. It’s just thin streams here, but there is a place where they gather into a great waterfall. It often brings all kinds of stuff here in the Underground. One day I found a cool flag there! With the skull and crossbones! I… aww. I completely forgot to show it to you…”

Lars vaguely recalled hearing the rapid flow of water somewhere in the distance as he, Rutile twins and Rhodonite were searching for the source of the signal. He wondered if the water was running from there? If so, then he and Papyrus were just under that place now...

Although Lars continued to convince himself that his crew would be just fine on their own, he couldn’t stop worrying about them. What are they doing right now? Rhodonite is panicking, probably. She always worries too much about everyone and takes everything to heart… It's a good thing that the Rutile twins and Fluorite were there. They could handle stressful situations just like real pros! Lars wasn’t afraid to leave the fate of the ship and crew on them. They will figure out how to hide from Emerald and her watchdogs.

And Padparadscha… sweet Padparadscha, always so positive and confident. She believed in her captain much more than he believed in himself. She probably already knows that he’s fine, that he is looking for a way to get back to them! And that he will return to them. By all means…

“Woah, careful!”

Lars tripped over a stone, but luckily Papyrus caught him, preventing from falling. The pirate didn’t notice when they entered a rough road…

“Are you okay? You almost fell into the river!”

“Yeah, I’m fine… I was just looking at the waterfall and…”

“Oh I see!” Papyrus suddenly beamed. “You must have… fallen for the falls?”

Lars almost choked as he stared in disbelief at the skeleton. What was that just now? Did he really just make a freaking pun??

Papyrus smiled apologetically, kicking the rock with his boot.

“Waaait a minute… I thought you hate puns!”

“No, it’s not like that, I just, I, I… Oh, I actually love Sans' jokes!” he finally exclaimed, as if he wanted to say this for a very long time. “But… Please don't tell him, okay?”

“What, would that upset him?” Lars scratched his cheek. “And why are you pretending anyway?”

Papyrus shrugged his shoulders, hiding his hands behind his back, and slowly walked forward. The pirate followed, glancing at him suspiciously, still waiting for an answer. The light from the crystals became dimmer and shadows hung over them in gloomy silhouettes, like the clawed paws. But now, the terrible images of Waterfall were the last thing that bothered Lars.

“That's just the way it is,” Papyrus said quietly. “Sans is joking, I'm getting angry. We’re playing this game for a very long time and… it’s my fault, mostly. But this reaction amuses my brother so much and I really want him to have fun! So I'm… trying to fit in, I guess.

The pirate frowned, trying to imagine in what situation he would have done the same thing. No examples came to mind, so he looked up again at the skeleton.

“I don't really understand, sorry… Are you trying to form the impression of yourself that is more comfortable for everyone?”

Papyrus nodded with some uncertainty.

“Why?”

“Well! This is what everyone does,” Papyrus turned on his heel and continued walking backwards, as he did on the bridge. “You won't make any friends if you don't behave the way they like… Don’t you agree?”

“No… Probably? I mean,”  Lars paused. This really made him start thinking hard. Meanwhile, Papyrus continued:

“I want a good relationship with my brother, so I’m trying to give him the reaction he expects, you know? It's not okay to pretend, but in this case… It doesn't hurt anyone. Right?”

“And how many friends have you made this way?”

“Oh, well, I…”

Papyrus giggled awkwardly and almost stumbled, so he had to turn and face the road. Or maybe he did it so Lars won't see his embarrassed face.

“N… none…?”

“None?” the pirate repeated, raising his eyebrows. He could see Papyrus’ shoulders tighten up as he said that. But before he could apologize for rubbing salt in his wound, the skeleton turned around again and replied with a light-hearted smile:

“I just haven't had any luck yet! All I need is to try harder! It's okay. I know making friends is hard. But just because it's hard doesn't mean it's impossible!”

“But what about Undyne? Aren't you friends with her?”

Papyrus nodded cheerfully, “Why, yes, of course! I mean, she is my mentor most of all. But I also consider her a good friend!”

Lars smiled. Well, it’s not so bad. One good friend is better than no friends at all…

“She's really awesome. And she's a lot of fun! She knows so much about battles, sports, weapons… And she's training me to fight! Undyne is the one who helped me unlock the full potential of my powers and taught me how to use my magic properly. She said I still have a lot to learn though… But I'm not giving up!” Papyrus clenched his fists tightly. “I will prove to her that I deserve to be part of the Royal Guard! Prove that I deserve her friendship! I will grow to her level!”

“Deserve her friendship? What do you mean?”

“If I try really hard, I’ll become as cool as she is. Then she will consider me her equal, and we’ll become best friends! Undyne always says that friendship and respect must be earned. She's so cool! I wish you two could hang out… I think you’d like her too.”

Papyrus kept smiling the whole time he was talking, and Lars didn't know if he should interfere. The skeleton's mood suddenly lifted when it came to Undyne, and it actually was nice and all but… Some intrusive thought still swirled around in the pirate's head, making him wonder if this friendship was, well… kinda one-sided?

Nah. He's probably just thinking too much.

“Oh, I'm sorry, I got a little too chatty!” Papyrus giggled awkwardly again. “It happens to me quite often…”

Lars shook his head, “Don't apologize, dude, it’s fine. Besides…”

He didn’t finish - a phone call interrupted, scaring the hell out of him. Papyrus quickly pulled his phone out of his jeans pocket.

“Hello, Sans? What’s up?”

The pirate froze, listening intently to the voice on the other end of the phone. He didn’t hear much, but Papyrus wasn’t panicking and it was enough to calm Lars down. It soon became clear that Sans wasn’t going to warn them about Undyne, just wanted to modify the route a bit, so Lars made a sign to Papyrus that he will walk around the area while he's talking, and stepped aside. The dog decided to keep him company.

Lars walked with his head up, peering into the impenetrable blackness above. Snowdin didn't give him such a strong feeling of being underground, but now that he knew the truth, everything fell into place. Grey-blue sky of Snowdin was nothing but the stone ceiling of a cave, hidden behind the branches of conifers, and the lighting was generated by the Core… But here, in Waterfall, there were no trees, no magic lighting, no artificially recreated weather – only stone walls, shiny and slippery from the streams flowing on them. No matter how hard Lars tried, he could only see the deep darkness up there. Even the magic crystals on the walls could not dispel it…

“Whoops!”

Lars’ foot slipped on the wet ground. Fortunately, he managed to keep his balance, reflexively spreading his arms wide. His heart skipped a beat. Turned out he was standing on the edge of a steep cliff. Just a couple steps further and he would have fallen down to his death…

“Well that would be a shame,” the pirate exhaled and turned away, just about to go in the opposite direction… But for some reason he froze in place instead.

A sense of self-preservation urged him to move away from the edge right now, but Lars wouldn’t be himself if he didn't do the opposite: before he knew it, he was already standing at the very cliff, resting his hands on his knees and looking down. The dark, gaping void trembled as if it was alive, ominously buzzing with a muffled cast-iron hum. The vibration from this hum seemed to be carried through the most hidden corners of the cave.The rhythmic splash of water sounded from the depths, hypnotizing.

Suddenly, shivers ran down Lars' neck as something caught his attention. At first he caught a change in the rate of the water flow from below, then, for just a second, he saw something was moving in the darkness. A vague sense of fear, mixed with curiosity, made the blood freeze in his veins.

“Is… is anyone there?”

“There… there…” echoed between the slopes. Lars slowly squatted down and strained his eyes, trying to identify the shape.

He could hear Papyrus in the background, still on the phone with his brother. Sans probably was practicing his sparkling sense of humor on him, judging by the sound of Pap’s growling…

“Wait a minute. Skeletons don't growl, you moron.” Lars said to himself.

He forced himself to look away from the abyss. What could have alarmed the dog so much? Does he hate the dark? Tired of standing still? Or did Lars do something wrong? He was just about to turn around when the dog started barking even louder.

But something pushed him. Before Lars even knew, he started to quickly move away from the cave ceiling. The darkness closed around him.

He was falling down.

Chapter Text

Lars had a terrible ringing in his ears. No, not even ringing - beeping. Horrible long monotonous beeping. The kind of sound the old TV makes when a program interrupts for technical reasons. Lars knew the sound for sure, because his parents kept one in the house as a rarity.

The world was spinning around him like a freaking carousel. Lars could've sworn he felt every piece of his skull aching. Even though he'd been awake for some time, he still made no attempt to move a bit – he was too afraid his poor head would split into pieces. Instead he grimaced and opened his eyes, slowly moving his eyes and trying to look around, but there was nothing to focus on. A dark void above him. Small splashes flying in his face, the sound of water everywhere. Trying to ignore the sharp pain in his head, Lars forced himself to remember what happened.

He was falling… for a long time. He thought he was trying to get a grip on something along the way, and it probably saved his life. It was hard to believe Lars could’ve survived such a fall, unless he tried to reduce the speed of falling somehow. But, to be honest, he had no recollection of how he'd landed here… At all.

The longer Lars was lying on his back, the more he felt the world spinning around him. Soon he realized that, if he stayed like this any longer, he would definitely throw up. So he forced himself to sit up, breathing heavily through clenched teeth and trying to move as slowly as he could. Then Lars finally noticed he was lying on a carpet made of hundreds of little gold-colored flowers.

“Huh. Looks like you guys broke my fall…” the pirate said hoarsely and ran his fingers through the flowers. Pretty soft. But why did his head hurt so bad as if it hit the brick wall?

Lars slowly looked around. He was surrounded by small streams flowing down the walls, a big waterfall a little farther down. The road ahead was obscured by a thin layer of water, piles of things lying here and there. Wasn't that the place Papyrus was talking about earlier?…

“Papyrus! Damn it. He’s probably worried sick,” Lars tried to get up but suddenly let out a groan and sank to the ground. It was a sharp, shooting pain in his ankle. “Ugh, what the… Really, a fracture?! Well, isn't that just wonderful!”

How is he supposed to find Papyrus now?! Sure, Lars could try and get up through the pain, but then what? If he ran into Undyne or her guards in that condition, he's gone! If only his radio worked. Or he had a cell phone or…

Oh, wait. He had it! Just before he'd left the house, Papyrus gave him an old button cell phone, and Lars remembered exactly how he'd stashed it into his backpack so he wouldn't lose it. That thought made him feel a little better. Now he just needed to find his backpack.

“It must be here somewhere. Couldn't have just vanished into thin air… Ah, there it is!” Lars breathed a sigh of relief. It was just a meter away, in the same field of flowers. The pirate tried to reach it, but the pain in his leg made him bent in half, panting. Damn it. He had to get the damn backpack! Unless the phone was broken from the fall, it was his only chance to contact Papyrus. No time for whining. He needed to…

“Howdy!”

Lars flinched at the sound of the voice next to him and bit his lip to keep from screaming. The pain was horrible but he raised his head somehow, secretly hoping that the voice belonged to Papyrus. But, unfortunately, instead of his skeleton friend he saw

a flower. Looking at him with great interest. A flower with big yellow petals, just like every other one growing in this field. With little black eyes and a mischievous smile that the others didn’t have.

A. Flower.

“I'm Flowey! Flowey the flower! What's your name?”

A talking flower…

Lars' eyes moved across what was probably the flower's face. His head was still buzzing, his temples throbbed with pain, but the pirate paid no attention to it anymore. It was just so weird… Maybe he's having hallucinations?

“Hellooo? Are you deaf or what? I'm talking to you!” said the flower, chuckling softly, covering his smile with petals. Charming. “What's your name?”

“I'm, um… Lars.”

No, this wasn't a hallucination. Even though Lars had hit his head… The green stem, the pair of leaves that were apparently substitutes for hands, the fragile yellow petals surrounding the smiling face – it was all too realistic.

“Nice to meet you, Lars! You look a little beat up. Do you need any help?”

“Well… Yeah, actually, I do,” Lars glanced down at his backpack. Flower followed his gaze, nodded and dove beneath the ground. A moment later he reappeared beside the backpack and began pushing it in Lars’ direction as hard as he could. Pretty soon the backpack was close enough for the pirate to reach out and grab the handle.

Flower exhaled.

“Golly, that's heavy! Do you have bricks in there or something?”

“Not really… Um. Thank you. Really. I owe you one.”

Hearing that, Flowey smiled, evidently well pleased. Though it was hard to tell the nature of his smile. His face was even less expressive than Sans'.

“Oh, don’t be silly! Just tell me, where are you from? I don't remember seeing you here before!”

“Yeah, I'm new in these parts… I'm from Snowdin,” Lars knew he had to be very careful with his fake story. He needed to keep himself from telling anyone he was from the surface. Sure, the flower looked innocent enough, but if Lars had learned anything in the last few days, it was that he shouldn't underestimate anyone here. Even if they look or act cute.

“Oh, I see. I hate the cold, so I don't get up there much myself,” Flowey nodded, falling for his lie.

“Yeah, I guess It's easy to freeze your bud off out there…”

Geez, Sans should’ve heard that, Lars thought. And carefully glanced at Flowey to see if he accidentally offended him with that stupid pun. Apparently not. The flower stood just as still as before, grinning broadly from petal to petal. Pretty creepy… But Lars smiled back and then started rummaging through his backpack.

“You look just like strawberry cotton candy!” Flowey shared his thoughts.

“Haha… thank you?”

“What exactly are you doing here?”

“Where?” Lars froze when he heard this question.

“In these parts . And in this condition. Sorry if I'm prying, but you don't look so good.”

“Oh. Well, I was here with a friend… on a field trip. And then I, sorta… Fell.”

“Golly! You did? Right from there?” Flowey looked up, twisting his stem like a ribbon. “It's so high up there, how did you even survive?”

Lars grimaced, imagining himself falling down and actually smashing his head against the ground, splattering the golden flower field with his own blood. It all seemed so real, the pain in the back of his head became unbearable for a moment…

No. Nonono, it was just a silly thought! Good thing that hadn't happened. Steven wasn't here, so there was no way to resurrect him again…

“Heh. Guess I'm just lucky.”

“And where’s your friend now?”

Good question…

“That's what I'm about to find out,” Lars explained as he took the phone out of his backpack. Thank the stars it was still working! Even the screen wasn't damaged. Maybe he is pretty lucky after all… Lars was about to dial Papyrus' number, but hesitated. Was it okay calling while this strange flower was still here…?

Flowey smiled and looked at him silently, as if waiting for something. Truly, there was something about a flower with a face that made it a thousand times more creepy than living skeletons.

“Well. It was nice meeting you, Lars ,” the flower finally said. “I hope you find your friend soon.”

Should he really put that weird accent on his name?

“Yeah… Thanks again for your help,” the pirate forced another smile. After that the flower finally disappeared underground.

Lars sat listening to the sound of water, thinking of nothing. It all just seemed… strange. The whole conversation, the flower with the smiley face. Lars hadn't felt this bad since he'd met Sans for the first time. And Sans had scared the shit out of him actually! Maybe it was just his imagination? He'd been thinking too much lately. It was probably just stress…

Fortunately, he was soon roused from his troubled thoughts by the phone call. It sounded so loud that Lars shuddered and almost dropped the phone from his hands – and immediately paid for it with a pain that shot through his head from ear to ear. Wincing in pain, Lars looked at the screen, and it immediately made him smile happily. He pressed the green button and-

“LARS!”

A shout came from the phone and the beeping in his ears resumed. Lars waved goodbye to his eardrums.

“OH MY GOD, FINALLY!”

“Shh, keep your voice down, please… I think my head just cracked…”

“Oh, sorry!” Papyrus said, lowering his voice. “I'm just so glad I finally reached you! Where are you? Are you all right? I ran through half of Waterfall! And you didn't answer your phone, so I, I…”

“It's okay, Pap, don't worry,” Lars couldn't help but smile. “I’m fine. Well, mostly.”

“What do you mean, mostly?!”

“Don't panic, but… I think I broke my leg?”

There was an anxious silence on the other end of the phone. Lars laughed nervously:

“O-or just twisted it, I don't know! I'm a little off right now, so I might be wrong. Don't worry about it! I'm a tough guy, haha…”

“Where are you now? Can you describe the place?”

“The place… Well, there's a lot of waterfalls. A flower field I landed on. Oh, and there's tons of stuff, like… bicycles, boxes with clothes, tapes…”

“Garbage Dump. Got it. Hang on, I'll be right there.”

“Okay… Take your time, dude, I'm not going anywhere!" Lars tried to joke. But Papyrus was hardly in the mood for it.

“I'll call you later okay?”

“Okay… See ya.”

Lars heard a soft beeping sound and put the phone down, staring longingly at the screen. He felt like a complete idiot.

Why couldn't he get through a day without making everyone worry about him?

Chapter Text

Lars really was lucky. He wasn’t completely uninjured, but at least he didn’t break anything – it looked more like a sprain or something. The pain subsided with time, but it was still uncomfortable to step on an injured leg. Although Lars assured that he was highly regenerative and would soon be back to normal, Papyrus insisted on sticking around the Garbage Dump for a while and giving him first aid. Soon his leg was firmly wrapped with elastic bandage, and only after making sure he could walk straight, Papyrus finally decided to continue on their way. Even though he still asked several times if Lars was sure he didn't want to go back to Snowdin and rest there until his leg had healed.

“Nah, I'm fine. It doesn’t hurt anymore, really! And you don't have to hold me, by the way.”

Papyrus shook his head and squeezed his elbow even tighter instead. Lars barely convinced stubborn skeleton to let him carry the backpack, but Papyrus refused to let him walk on his own.

“If you step on an injured leg, it might not heal properly.”

“I'm sure I won't notice it,” the pirate said carelessly.

“Pretty sure you will notice it! And stop arguing with me already!”

The dog walking in front of them growled at Lars, apparently agreeing with Papyrus. The pirate rolled his eyes defiantly, but actually stopped arguing with the two of them. Especially since there was neither energy nor time for that anyway…

Turned out that behind the Garbage Dump was the village where Undyne lived. What's more, Papyrus said that she used to come here often with her friend, a Royal Scientist. Whether she was looking for supplies, tracking humans down, or she just liked to hang out in the dumpster, he didn’t go into detail. Good thing Undyne wasn’t here while Lars was passed out! Otherwise Papyrus would have found just a handful of bones from him… If he'd been lucky enough.

Maybe he could've made himself another dog out of these bones? Or perhaps revived Lars as a skeleton? He wasn't sure Papyrus could do that. He didn't ask either. Papyrus would hardly appreciate his dark sense of humor.

 Either way, they needed to get out of here as soon as possible. Which they did, after they got confirmation from Sans that Undyne wasn't around. Wasting no time in sightseeing, the trio quickly passed through the village, which was half the size of Snowdin. Also, pretty deserted. Lars thought for a moment that he saw someone around the bend, but they vanished so quickly he wrote it off as a hallucination.

“It's not very lively here,” the pirate said in a low voice, trying not to disturb the silence surrounding the village. “Guess Undyne has a tight grip on everyone, huh?”

“No-no, it's not like that! It has nothing to do with Undyne!” Papyrus shook his head quickly, hurrying to justify his friend. “Monsters in Waterfall have always been like that. They are very understanding of personal space.”

“Oh. I see.”

“And besides,” the skeleton continued, “Most monsters here are extremely shy. Once, me and Undyne got so caught up in the training session, we spent most of the day practicing, and she totally forgot about piano lesson with Shyren in the evening! Poor Shyren, instead of reporting her arrival, stood outside the door of Undyne’s house for hours waiting for us to finish…”

Papyrus let out a nervous chuckle – clearly he still felt guilty about it. Was it really his fault, Lars wondered? Everyone loses track of time sometimes. And excessive shyness, unfortunately, is not an uncommon problem… While thinking about that, Lars didn't notice how from a well-lit area they slowly entered a dense darkness.

It was almost palpable. Reach out a hand and it would surely be sucked in like into a black hole. Not even the most powerful flashlight could dispel it. Lars felt uneasy, wondering how they were going to get through this darkness. He had no recollection of Papyrus taking a lantern with him… But he soon realized that the lantern was unnecessary. As they stepped onto the pitch-black road, Papyrus stopped and began to run his hand along the cave wall. Just a few moments later something glowed beneath his hand, and then the room in front of them began to fill with dim light. The sources of the light – large crystals placed here and there all around the perimeter – quickly filled the area around them with a ghostly violet glow, twinkling and tinkling. Now Lars could see a narrow path ahead, winding between low bushes and running off into the distance, lost again in the darkness. The crystals were fading fast, so Papyrus gently but firmly pulled the pirate down the path. Yeah, right. No time to slow down…

They had to repeat the trick of turning on the crystals a couple more times before they made it out of the darkness. After a few minutes the noise of rain began to reach their ears. The rain zone… So they almost passed Waterfall. Lars had definitely heard Sans say so on the phone – after the rain zone, cross the bridge and go through the cave to Hotland.

“Wait a moment, please. I'll get a big umbrella,” Papyrus stopped in front of the basket, laden with a pile of colorful umbrellas. “I don't want your bandages to get wet.”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say…”

***

The dog galloped happily through the puddles, wagging his tail and catching the raindrops in his mouth. He was clearly having fun. The pirate and the skeleton followed him silently, because there was no point in talking – the sound of rain hitting their big red umbrella drowned out any conversation. Papyrus guided Lars carefully, making sure he didn't step in puddles, and the guy didn't even try to argue. After that stupid injury, the skeleton became overly protective of him, and, to be honest, Lars wasn't happy about it. Papyrus guarded him with such zeal, as if believed he could melt in the rain like cotton candy.

Strawberry cotton candy. That damn flower with his stupid comparison…

Suddenly the thought crossed Lars' mind. The question, actually, had been on his mind all along. It wasn’t really that important, but, if he had to think about it anyway, he'd better ask. Otherwise the thought would never go away… Lars turned his gaze to Papyrus and waited until the rain let up.

“By the way, Papyrus.”

“Yes?”

“I've been thinking. You never said anything about my… my skin color, did you?”

“Should I have?” the skeleton blinked rapidly, the question really surprised him. “Is skin color that important to humans?”

“Wha- No, no, that's not what I mean!”

Lars' face immediately turned red. Why did he have to bring that up in the first place?! Now Papyrus will think he’s weird! Well… it's too late now anyway…

“I mean… Don't you think it's, umm, a bit unnatural color?”

“I don't know? Is it unnatural?”

Lars saw the clear confusion in the skeleton's deep black eyes. They stared at each other for a full minute, until Lars finally spoke again, slowly, as if in the middle of an epiphany:

“You… you've never seen any human… have you?”

“Oh, no, I've only heard some rough descriptions!” Papyrus confirmed his hunch. “Remember when Sans said humans haven't been in the underground for years? Well, the last human – I mean, the one before you – was here when I was just a babybone. I don't even remember them…”

The rain poured down again, drowning out Papyrus' last phrase, and they continued on their way in silence. Through the noise of the water one could only hear the dog barking and snorting as the drops hit his nose. Soon they found themselves in a truly huge underground hall, with blue crystals shimmering on the distant walls. Rainfall obscured the view, but the light was still clearly visible. From this distance crystals looked just like the real stars. Overcome by curiosity, Lars craned his neck to see where the rain was coming from, but it was too dark up there. It looked like the water was pouring in from the void…

Once the rain have subsided again, Papyrus continued:

“You mean it's unusual for humans to be this brightly colored?”

“Well... I haven’t seen any. If we are talking about humans," Lars murmured.

“Then why? Did you fall into a can of permanent paint?”

“Haha, no! I just…

You know…

Actually…”

Lars wasn't prepared for this question. He had started this conversation, yes, but who said he ever thought before speaking? Now he’d trapped himself once again – how to answer a question when you haven't even prepared the answer?

Meanwhile, Papyrus stopped, and Lars froze next to him. There were a couple of monsters ahead of them, but fortunately they weren’t interested in them – they just quietly walked their way, covered by two green umbrellas. Still, after Papyrus quietly said, “We'd better wait for them to pass,” Lars nodded and pretended to be busy looking at the bleak, overcast landscape. The dog, all wet, disheveled and happy, came back to them and stood beside them, hiding from the raindrops under the umbrella.

“Did it have something to do with the scars on your eye and chest?”

Lars wasn't prepared for that question, either.

Chapter Text

The rain pounded heavily on the umbrella. Knock, knock, knock, like a djembe playing. Each knock resonated with a muffled thud in Lars’ ribcage. Though outwardly calm, the storm raged through his soul, stirring his thoughts and shaking his fragile inner world. He swallowed hard and closed his eyes, trying to settle down. Why must Papyrus be so goddamn perceptive? Maybe Lars could just lie or make a joke, to correct the situation he’d put himself into! But now… he couldn't even bring himself to say a word.

There was a long silence. The monsters have already passed, and Papyrus gently pulled Lars along.

“I died when I got those scars. It was… many years ago.”

Lars was torn between wanting to look at Papyrus and to avoid doing so. The skeleton was silent in response, but his hand trembled slightly, betraying his surprise. Even Lars himself was surprised at the sound of his own voice and the suddenness of his confession... But, that was the right thing to do. He needed this opportunity to reveal his cards, rather than let this conversation go to waste.

“I know it sounds crazy, but it's true. Afterwards, Steven brought me back to life… I told you about him, remember? Well… Turns out he had the ability. So, guess you could say that story ended well…”

He laughed nervously at that and immediately felt like an idiot. He was shivering uncontrollably. But he continued:

“Since then, my heartbeat has slowed down. I don't think it makes me immortal tho, but it does add a few extra years to my life. And my skin and hair turned pink... probably as an indication of whose magic is responsible for bringing me back to life? I dunno, I mean… I really don't know how to explain it. And I never asked Steven about it either. I just figured it out like that, and it actually was enough for me. Like, pink is the color of his family. Sorta? Everything they touch turns pink, like that lion, for example and… Umm…”

The pirate rubbed the back of his head, feeling more and more feverish. Despite his own decision to spill the truth, it was even physically difficult for him to keep up with the explanation at once. He frowned, trying to figure out the best way to explain this situation, feeling like he was on an exam he wasn't prepared for.

“It's a pretty complicated story, especially for someone who doesn't know how all this gem magic works. Not that I understand much of it myself, but… Okay, give me a few minutes! I'll try to explain. Do you… do you know what zombies are?”

“Lars.”

“Yeah?”

He flinched and turned his face to Papyrus. There was a weary, understanding smile on the skeleton's face that gave Lars a chill for some reason.

“Thank you. I’m honored you trusted me with your secret, really. It’s also a relief that everything turned out well for you in the end. That's the most important thing… But you've already answered my question, so, if you don't want to talk about this anymore and go into detail… you don't have to. It's okay.”

“Are you sure? I mean, I don't have any problem talking about it, if that's what you think.”

“Lars… Are you really trying to convince me that talking about your own death isn't… sad?”

The pirate stopped, causing Papyrus to do the same. He wanted to ask something. But he couldn't find the right words. He didn't even know what exactly he wanted to talk about so bad… There was just a strange feeling, like something was swirling on the edge of his mind, but the thought was too slippery to catch. Too fragile…

“Is something wrong?” Papyrus tilted his head and squinted at the light of crystals, but kept his gaze on the pirate. His hand, which wasn’t on Lars' elbow, pulled up his red scarf.

“It's… No, that's all right. I forgot what I was going to say,” Lars replied with a vague concern in his voice and turned away, closing his eyes for a second. “Still… I think I'd like to tell you more about that story later. If you want, of course…”

“When you'll be ready to share I'd love to hear it!” 

The sound of encouragement in his voice made Lars feel better. The heaviness finally left his heart. Yet how little he needed sometimes for peace of mind…

“Heh, I hope that won’t make you fall asleep. The story is actually full of boring details…”

“It depends… Are you a good storyteller?” Papyrus asked. Lars snorted.

“Whoa, what makes you say so? Didn't you like the story about the Off Colors?”

“Of course I liked it, a lot! But it didn't have any boring details.”

“Well, that's true…” Lars paused, then smiled at the skeleton. "Then I'll do my best! I don’t want you to be bored, after all.”

Papyrus smiled back. But this time his smile hadn’t such sadness in it like before. Lars couldn’t help but wonder what was hidden behind that weary smile that he saw a few moments ago, but something told him that wasn't the right time. Papyrus might have seemed carefree and a simple guy, but the more Lars got to know him, the harder it became to understand what he was thinking… But the more he wanted to figure it out.

“Hey, Pap… Thank you for listening. It really means a lot to me.”

“No need to thank me,” Papyrus replied cheerfully and pulled him further along the empty rain zone. The dog, who had been waiting for them, was already impatiently stomping around the corner. “That's what friends are for, you know?”

***

After passing the rain zone, Papyrus shook out the umbrella and placed it in a basket that was waiting around the corner. Now they faced a big rock ledge that would have caused Lars a lot of trouble with his leg... But Papyrus assured he’ll help him easily get over this obstacle. And if you can't trust Papyrus, who can you trust, right?

Trying not to step on an injured leg, Lars picked up the dog from the ground and handed him to the skeleton, who had already climbed on the ledge, as if it was a children's slide.

“Remind me again why we brought him along?” the pirate asked, wiping his hands, wet from fur, on his pants. The dog shook himself dry when he was on top of the ledge and immediately started wagging his tail.

“Why? So you won't escape, of course!” Papyrus chuckled in reply.

“But I wasn't going to, remember? I came with you willingly!”

“Yeah, after you lost the battle,” the skeleton reminded. “But it was the best decision you ever made, wasn't it?”

“Umm, I dunno. I'm still not sure about that…” Lars turned away, but Papyrus noticed a sly smile spread over his face. Really? He's just like Sans, fooling around at such a difficult time!

But then again… They weren't in a hurry, right?

“As a matter of fact, I might try to escape right now. By the time you and your ‘unique tracking system’ get down, who knows how far I'll be…”

“Oh, so you really think you can escape from The Great Papyrus? How naive of you!” the skeleton said pompously, placing one hand on his hip and making a graceful gesture with the other. Lars shrugged his shoulders.

“Pap, no offense, but the title of The Great Papyrus doesn't sound effective in such plain clothes…”

“Don't you dare argue with me, Human! The losers must obey the winners! So… give me your hands, please. You're stalling.”

“Okay, okay... Guess I have no choice?”

The pirate took off his backpack and tossed it up before reaching for Papyrus’ hand. The skeleton pulled him up in no time, gently holding him behind his back. That was easy, just like he promised. But even when Lars was finally on top of the ledge, Papyrus wouldn't let go of his hands. Seemed like he still had something to say. Lars tilted his head and raised his eyebrows.

“What’s wrong?” he asked. Papyrus smiled nervously.

“I know I said that earlier… You know, that you have no choice? But… I want to apologize for that. I wasn't sincere. The truth is, there is always a choice! You can find a way out of any situation! Even when it seems like the whole world is collapsing around you. It just isn't that obvious sometimes, so you have to try harder. So… never limit yourself, okay? Otherwise, you're gonna be stuck in place. That doesn't get you anywhere…”

“You mean… I really should've tried to escape?” Lars smiled broadly. And immediately squeezed his eyes shut as Papyrus flicked his forehead.

“Hey! I'm talking about important things here!” The skeleton exclaimed angrily, while Lars laughed, covering his head with his hands. Just in case.

“Okay, okay, I'm sorry! I was just trying to lighten the mood! You’re so serious all of a sudden…”

“Well that's where you're wrong – I'm always serious! And anyway… Don't push me, or I'll put you back in the cage!” Papyrus threatened, trying his best to look annoyed. He then quickly lifted the backpack from the ground and threw it over his shoulder. Apparently, no more time arguing about that, huh…

“Well, congratulations, Human, we officially passed Waterfall! Now we need to go through a cave over there and we're in Hotland! But you probably would like to rest here for a while…”

“Yeah? Why is that?”

Papyrus turned to him with an apologetic smile and said:

“You might find the welcome in that area… too warm.”

“You mean…?”

Monsters in Hotland like to cuddle?

“It's very hot there, Lars. And when I say very, I mean… VERY. Many of us can hardly stand that heat.”

The pirate raised his eyes to the ceiling. He'd hoped to the very end that the name of the area didn't reflect its nature… How naive of him.

“Aw man, I hate heat! Where was that ice cream guy? He should’ve opened his shop in Hotland.”

Really, what was that hare guy thinking? Selling ice cream in Snowdin, seriously? Who eats ice cream in this cold? Well, except for skeletons.

“Well, anyway. Let's walk a bit-” 

It was all Papyrus got to say, before Sans appeared right in front of him from nowhere. His face was so agitated that Lars' heart froze. The small skeleton said nothing, just grabbed them both by hands and dragged them into the tall grass that grew nearby, and the dog jumped in with them. Lars could barely make out the gesture urging them to be silent.

He held his breath. The rough, dry grass tickled his nose and ears, leaving several thin cuts on his skin. Seconds later, cheerful voices came from outside the cave, and Sans repeated his gesture just in case: whatever happened – keep silent.

Then, two monsters came out of the cave. A tall athletic girl with blue skin and bright red hair gathered in a ponytail, walked a little ahead, laughing and hurrying along the other one, a short yellow lizard in a white medical gown. Thankfully, they were too busy talking to each other to even look in the direction where Lars and brothers were hiding, so he breathed a sigh of relief… But, in the middle of chatter, he heard the name that the lizard girl addressed to her friend.

Undyne.

Lars felt the pulse begin to hammer in his head. So, this is Undyne. The captain of the Royal Guard… But before he could get a proper look at her, the girls passed by and quickly disappeared in the direction he and Papyrus had just come from.

The dog peeked out of the grass. When he was sure the danger had passed, he crawled out of the shelter and barked softly. The others followed.

“Golly, Sans… That was very timely,” Papyrus exhaled. He was afraid to speak even in half his usual voice volume.

“Could be sooner, but Undyne walks too fast,” his brother said.

“Anyway, thank you…”

“Don't mention it, bro. Let’s go before they decide to come back for something.”

“Yes, yes, of course. We'd better hurry... Lars?”

The pirate nodded and took a step forward… but then suddenly leaned against the cave wall. The pain made him hiss through gritted teeth. He'd probably forgotten about the injury while hiding, stepping on his leg at full force… 

Sans and Papyrus rushed over to him.

“Whoa, hey kid! Are you alright? What happened?”

“Nothing… I just had a bad fall,” Lars was pale but still tried to smile. “It's all right, don't mind me! I still can walk…”

“Here, I'll help you,” Papyrus threw the pirate’s arm around his shoulder to make it easier for him to support his weight. Lars didn't resist. He was no longer sure it wasn't a fracture. In any case, it wasn’t the time to play the hero! They had just a few minutes left to get out of here, before…

“I'll go get it, Alphys, don’t worry! I'll be back before you can… blink…”

The pirate, skeletons and the dog stood frozen as they heard the voice coming fast from the cave. Undyne stopped in front of them, completely stunned.

Chapter Text

It couldn't be worse. So much effort, so many measures taken to avoid meeting with the captain of the Royal Guard, and yet… To get caught so foolishly in the end. So the patience of Lady Luck isn’t infinite after all.

That’s what Lars thought, while the girl, who reminded him of an amphibia from some old horror movie Sadie made him watch, was staring at him in silent shock with one eye – the other was hidden behind a black eye patch. For a moment she looked like she wanted to say something, but changed her mind, but it was just long enough for the pirate to take a good look at the row of razor-sharp shark teeth. Though she looked fearsome enough, it didn't seem like she was about to rip him apart... In fact, she was as surprised and confused as the brothers and Lars in particular. However, unlike the three of them, it took her much less time to come to her senses. A strange near-metallic noise filled the air for a moment, and Lars saw the long glowing spear appeared in her hand.

“Un… Undyne…”

“Shh,” she interrupted. “Stand back, Papyrus.”

“Let's not jump to conclusions. I'm sure this is just a misunderstanding,” Sans said nonchalantly, stepping between Undyne and his brother, who wouldn't let go of Lars' hand, much less move away from him. The pirate leaned sideways, trying to shield Papyrus with his body. Though obviously the skeleton would be the last person Undyne would attack…

“Quiet, Sans. Step aside, please.”

“Sorry, can’t do. I've already had my quota of movements for the day.”

The girl's face took on a tortured expression for a moment, but she wiped it off, furrowing her brows and repeated her order firmly:

“Stand aside, Sans. You too, Papyrus. Both of you, stay away from the human.”

“What human? Oh, you mean our friend! Told ya, you've got it all wrong. I mean, look at him: he's a walking cotton candy.”

“I'm counting to three!” Undyne roared, crouching slightly to the ground and grinning like a predator who’s about to attack. Lars felt Papyrus squeezed his hand tightly with his fingers. “And I assure you, I will not hold back!”

“Of course you won't. Otherwise you risk losing.”

Lars shuddered at how heavy and threatening Sans' voice was. Just like the first time they'd met. There was an aura of danger surrounding the skeleton, as tangible as if it was an invisible creature following him around. The very air around him seemed to be saturated with such tension that lighting a match would cause an explosion. It couldn't be just a show… Whatever harmless image Sans was trying to create for himself, Lars had already decided he absolutely did not want to become his enemy one day.

But… making enemies of him and Undyne wasn't part of his plans either! Weren't they friends? Lars had to do something to prevent a senseless battle!

“Hey, um… Undyne, right? Look, these guys had nothing to do with it. It's actually a funny story, just give me fifteen minutes and I'll explain everything…”

“Shut the hell up!!” The amphibia yelled, making it clear that she had no intention of listening to him. Lars clenched his teeth, actually realizing this wasn’t the time to show his temper, which was exactly what Papyrus had implied, when pulled up his sleeve in warning. Undyne fixed her only eye on the small skeleton again.

“Sans, if you don't get out of my way right now, I swear I-”

“I know, I know. You'll calm down and won’t do anything rash. Especially in front of her .”

The girl suddenly turned pale. Sans wasn't bluffing: they soon heard the shuffling footsteps approaching the place where they all gathered, and a voice calling Undyne. She slowly straightened up, her gaze fixed on Lars, while a panting voice called her name once more, and finally the lizard girl in the white gown emerged from the darkness behind her. As she ran closer, Undyne raised her spear so it blocked the path from the human to her friend.

“Uh-Undyne! Is everything all right? I heard you scream and, oof!” The lizard girl stumbled over the spear in front of her, nearly hanging over it. Her glasses slid down her nose, but she managed to keep them from falling, and, putting them back on, she looked questioningly at Undyne.

“What is it? W-w-why do you need a weapon? Are you fighting some… oh! ”

The next moment she sighed in amazement, covering her mouth with small clawed fingers. Her wide-open eyes stared at Lars, who could barely resist waving back, though there was nothing funny about it… Who else would be brought here? The whole Royal Guard team, maybe?

“G-Golly… Is that…”

“Alphys, go hide somewhere. I'll take care of it.”

“But, Undyne…" Alphys’ eyes, searching anxiously around everyone, lingered on the pirate's bandaged leg and then moved to the white dog who was standing in front of him, defending him.

“Undyne, I'm begging you… Please let us explain!” Papyrus tried to talk again. Lars couldn't help but notice the skeleton's voice made Undyne grimace painfully and that gave him hope of her hesitation. Yet, there was no answer…

Then, Alphys gently touched Undyne’s hand.

“L-let's all go to my lab and talk it over… I'm sure Papyrus has a g-good explanation for… this. R-right, Papyrus?” waiting for him to nod, the lizard clasped her hands and took a breath. “Besides, the human… uh, I-I mean, their f-friend is hurt, and it wouldn't be a… a fair f-fight. What do you think? Undyne?”

The expression on the amphibia's face remained impenetrable, and her hand continued to clutch the weapon tightly. Alphys added more quietly, probably hoping that Lars couldn’t hear her:

“They're our friends, Undyne. I'm sure t-they wouldn't… unless they had the reason to. P-please…”

Seemed like it actually worked. The captain of the Royal Guards turned to the lizard, who smiled encouragingly at her, and finally relaxed her shoulders.

“Very well. Have it your way, Alphys,” Undyne said and then turned back to the others, giving her voice a commanding tone. “To the lab, everyone. Shake a leg.”

“Okay, boss,” Sans said peacefully, as if he hadn't threatened her just five minutes ago. He did a 180, whistled to the dog and walked into the cave with him. Seconds after there was a quiet whisper directly at Lars' ear:

“Don't worry. She may seem hard-hearted, but she's not… Everything will be fine, believe me.”

Lars smiled casually at Papyrus and stepped forward, leaning against his shoulder. He had to try very hard to look calm, just to convince the skeleton not to worry about him. Nevertheless, Lars couldn't shake the feeling of Undyne’s eye piercing his back…

***

Even though the laboratory was in Hotland, with the captain of the Royal Guard standing silently nearby, there was a very cold welcome. Papyrus sat down next to the pirate, visibly nervous, throwing anxious glances in Undyne's direction. Lars wanted to say something encouraging, to support him somehow… but at the same time he was too afraid of making it worse – apparently Undyne sharply reacted to his attempts to talk. Well, at least Sans didn't need his support: he looked quite relaxed, lounging on a couch as if he'd just been visiting a friend. At one point, he caught Lars' gaze and winked at him. Seemed like he wasn't worried at all…

While the four guests and the dog were waiting in silence, Alphys came down from the second floor with drinks on a faded pink heart-shaped tray.

“I have n-not much to offer, but I hope no one minds a s-s-soda. I think it wouldn't hurt… especially s-since everyone is so, um… on edge.”

Smiling shyly, she approached the couch, but Undyne’s harsh voice made her freeze in place immediately.

“Alphys, don't come too close to the human.”

The lizard confusedly staggered in place for a few seconds and decided to pass both their drinks to Papyrus. Then, hiding her eyes behind glasses, she quickly stepped back to the table to offer the soda to Undyne, but she shook her head.

“Oh, o-okay... I'm sorry, I forgot that you... d-don’t like, um, soda…”

Alphys put the tray on the table, picking up her cup, and walked quickly past Lars and Papyrus to sit down on the couch next to Sans.

“Thanks for the drinks, Alph. My throat is as dry as a desert.”

“Y-you don't have a throat, Sans,” Alphys giggled. Lars couldn't help but smile, glancing at her. The poor thing was trying so hard to create a calm atmosphere, but she couldn't do it alone. Actually, all of them together couldn't soften the situation with Undyne looming over them like a storm cloud…

Even if Lars hadn't heard of her, his gut would’ve told him to stay away from this girl. Even without looking at her, but merely feeling her presence, he felt a wave of uncontrollable fear sweep over him. He felt the amphibia's yellow eye, shining like the Sun itself, was looking into his very soul, and, if only that were possible, forcing it to find a way out of his body, right into her hands.

“So. I'd like to hear the reason why I can't kill this human right now.”

The tone Undyne said it with, shocked not only Lars himself. Sans was the only one who remained impartial. His face, however, was often difficult to read.

“Well, I have a couple of objections, if I may,” the pirate blurted out rashly, but Undyne simply ignored him this time.

“You had something to say, didn't you, Papyrus?”

“I... W-well, of course I have something to say! You see, Undyne... The thing is, Lars…”

“ Lars ,” Undyne repeated the name blankly, unemotionally. The skeleton started to fumble with his scarf.

“Mhm, yes. You see, Lars got here quite by accident, and…”

“Nobody got here on purpose, Papyrus.”

“I know!” he almost shouted. “I know… Please, listen to me, Undyne. Just a few minutes.”

Papyrus paused for a moment, thinking over his words. Lars could hardly keep silent, but he knew it’s the best he could do right now – there was no guarantee that the next time he'd speak Undyne’s spear wouldn't fly into his head. Finally, the skeleton took a deep breath and began retelling Lars’ long story, putting everything pretty succinctly and summarizing the main points, as if he'd been trained on doing reports (and he must’ve been, since he was preparing to join the Royal Guard). Even Lars listened to him with his mouth open. However, by the end of this report Alphys and Undyne shared the same impression. Judging by the expression on their faces, it was hard for both of them to believe that Papyrus wasn’t just made it all up: the spaceship and Lars' crew, the unknown planet, the strange device with teleport functions… But the skeleton still finished his retelling:

“…and like my brother said earlier, Lars isn't even a human! He's,” Papyrus glanced at his friend, who smiled warmly at him, “not from our planet. Remember that tape you showed us long ago, Alphys? What was it called… uh, nevermind! It was a film where humans traveled through space and met those beautiful creatures with green skin. They were… aliens, right?”

“R-right…" the lizard replied, throwing a nervous glance at Undyne, who has still remained silent.

“Well! Lars is just like them! No antennae on his head, I guess, and his skin isn't green, it's pink, but he… I mean,” Papyrus also turned to Undyne. “He has nothing to do with those humans who imprisoned us here. So… would it be right to make him pay for someone else's sins?”

There was a deathly silence in the lab, broken only by the computer buzzing noise. The captain of the Royal Guard pushed herself off the table and stood in front of Papyrus, arms crossed over her chest. Lars cast a stealthy glance at her while she wasn’t paying attention to him. She had so many scars all over her body, it was hard to imagine what battles she had been into…

“Pap,” Undyne’s voice sounded much softer when she stood so close to the skeleton. It made Lars think that it had actually cost her a great deal of effort to keep a stern face until now. “Why… Why are you so protective of this human?”

“He's not…”

“Just answer the question.”

Papyrus hesitated for a bit.

“I… I've already told you why, Undyne. I just… I don't think what we're doing is right.”

“It’s true,” she agreed suddenly. “There's nothing right about it. Even though we say we're giving them a chance to win… When humans end up in the Underground we know every corner of, their chances are almost zero. But let me remind you, Papyrus, all of us here are victims of circumstances.”

“I understand, Undyne, but…”

“And yet.”

The captain of the Royal Guard raised her hand sharply, urging him to keep silent. Her glassy eye didn't even blink as she stared into her friend's face.

“Let me see if I got this straight. Knowing our situation and listening to the human's story, you weighed the pros and cons. Then you've decided…”

She paused for a second to stop the shaking in her voice.

“You decided that you weren't willing to sacrifice the life of someone you'd just met. But instead you're willing to condemn us all to suffer in the Underground for bloody ages, before another person gets here…”

With each word, her voice grew harsher and louder, and her fingers pressed into the skin of her hands. Lars tensed, afraid of what might happen.

“But that wasn't all, either. They must really deserve to die. They must prove by their deeds that they are truly evil. And must be directly responsible for our troubles…”

Undyne paused one last time, before the next words burst from her lips with anger and despair:

“One soul, Papyrus! One fucking human soul is standing in our way out of here! But you refuse to kill him because he doesn't deserve it! IS THAT RIGHT?!”

Papyrus looked at her without blinking. The expression on his face was completely blank, unlike Alphys', whose shaking body Lars saw only partially behind Undyne’s back. Sans' eye sockets were completely black. And the dog was so quiet Lars almost forgot about his presence.

It wasn't supposed to be like this…

“I don't want my friends to suffer.” Papyrus' quiet voice cut through the silence like the paper cuts through the skin. “But to sacrifice someone else's life… I…”

“Papyrus,” Undyne interrupted him. “If that's what you really think, you don't belong in the Royal Guard. Do you understand?”

Lars' hand twitched and squeezed the skeleton's cold fingers tightly. Papyrus seemed to feel a surge of confidence as he did that. He let out a quiet breath and replied:

“Yes. I understand that, Undyne. Forgive me. But I can't let you hurt him.”

Undyne stood speechless for several minutes – everyone else was silent as well. There was nothing to add here. Realizing that the conversation was over, the captain of the Royal Guard turned around and rushed out of the lab. Alphys ran after her, hiding her eyes behind her glasses. When the lab doors closed behind them and the footsteps outside fell silent, Papyrus exhaled and hid his face in his scarf.

“Papyrus…”

The skeleton shook his head, preventing Lars from saying anything, and then lifted his head. The pirate couldn't even imagine how hard it was for him to smile right now.

“It's all right! I'm sure Undyne will understand. She just… needs some time… She…”

Papyrus rubbed his eye socket with his hand, pretending he just got some dust in it. Lars heard movement and turned around nervously but it was only Sans, who had slid off the couch to get closer to his brother.

“It's all just so complicated… Please don't hate her, please!”

“I wouldn't even think of it,” Lars hastened to assure him.

“She's not a bad guy! All she wants is… she wants us to be free and happy. She's such a great leader! Always putting so much on her shoulders… I really want to help her, but I… I…”

Sans put his hand on his brother's shoulder, gently squeezing his sweater between his fingers. It actually had an effect: Papyrus closed his eyes, took a deep breath and exhaled, seemed to calm down. For now. But just as Sans was about to say something, the door to the lab opened, making Papyrus shudder as if he'd been hit by electricity. But contrary to their expectation, it was Alphys who returned to the lab. She stood at the door for a moment, but then came toward the trio and, visibly nervous and painfully stuttering, said:

“Y-y-you can stay at my place for the n-night, I guess… There are s-some empty rooms upstairs. I'm sure you're all exhausted, and I c-can see that the h-h-human… I mean… Lars is hurt, s-so… I have just the th-thing to cure your leg, d-don’t worry! I'll just go find it in my m-medicine cabinet…”

“That would be great. Thank you,” Lars smiled at her, which made the lizard blush and turn away.

“Th-there is… the escalator. The room is up there on the r-right. It's best not to take the stairs with th-these injuries…”

“Thank you, Alphys. Really," Papyrus said, helping Lars up. The dog ran briskly forward, accompanying them to the escalator.

“I'll help you, Alph," Sans volunteered, turning around and following the lizard into her cabinet. Lars sincerely hoped that was the end of all the worries. At least for today…

Chapter Text

Lars was looking at the stars. Pale, faded stars… Some of the paint was already peeling off, but overall, the ceiling looked just like a tiny piece of space, dotted with painted stars and planets. Whoever painted it, they obviously read a lot of astronomy books with fairly detailed illustrations. Lars easily recognized the twins Uranus and Neptune, and Saturn with its rings, and the mighty Jupiter… All the planets of the solar system were scattered across the ceiling, surrounding the Sun, which took place in the very center, depicted with a light stroke of yellow paint. Probably, the artist wanted to achieve the effect of perspective, and, one must admit, they succeeded. Lars had been staring at the ceiling for a good half an hour, out of reality. His head was empty, and his body seemed completely weightless, capable of drifting away with the slightest whiff of the wind into the painted space. Was it despair? Was he losing his mind? A little early for that… How could the monsters handle being trapped here for so many years?

Or maybe it was just the effect of the painkillers…

The only thing keeping him from flying toward the ceiling was the dog lying on his chest. Warm, dry air of Hotland had completely dried his fur and left him so drowsy, he collapsed almost before he'd touched the bed. He slept like that until now, so soundly and peacefully that Lars was jealous. He really wanted to follow his example, but nothing could make him sleep, unfortunately.

Only an hour and a half before he was left in the room alone with the dog, it was quite noisy here. Sans was hanging out by the shelves of books looking for something in particular, practicing his sense of humor on Lars from time to time. Papyrus didn't go anywhere at all for two hours and even managed to get Alphys to hang out with them. Lars was truly happy to make friends with Alphys, not to mention how important it was for him to have another ally in this strange (and somewhat scary) place. Although she clearly had a hard time communicating as such, Alphys seemed really nice. She tried very hard to overcome her embarrassment and that was actually impressive. Though the pirate guessed it might have had more to do with simple curiosity: while Papyrus helped him bandage his leg, Alphys asked him a whole host of questions. About the device that transported Lars to them. Where exactly he had come from. What his ship looked like, and whether the crew looked like the aliens from the movie Papyrus had mentioned earlier. And a bunch of other stuff that Lars didn't even bother to remember! It had been a long time since he had to talk to someone so much.

In the end, Alphys suggested fixing his radio when Lars mentioned it. Of course, he was quick to agree. It might have been his only chance to get in touch with his crew! To hear the familiar voices again, even at a distance…

And so, Lars was left alone in the room. Impatient to get started, Alphys rushed outside to find the necessary parts to repair the radio. Sans just vanished at some point, but it seemed to be the norm for him. Even Papyrus used some ridiculous reason for leaving… Lars didn't insist on a clearer justification, though – obviously Pap wanted to find a way to make it up to Undyne. As long as it wasn't a suicidal mission, it was the right thing to do. Lars would've gladly kept him company but, first, he knew that his presence in this case would hardly do Papyrus any good. And second, he was still in the process of healing, so to speak… So, lying in silence in a room with a space painted ceiling, he had only to think, trying to avoid negative thoughts.

They were catching up, though. It wasn't hard — Lars's head, empty of fatigue and pain, was magnetically attracting every bad thought a human in this situation could have. What if it wouldn't work out? What if he won't see any real stars for the next ten, a hundred, maybe even a thousand years? No Off colors, no Steven and his gem friends, no Sadie, no mom and dad… What if the last thing he'll see in his life will be the weapon of some aggressive monster? What if…

The dog growled in his sleep and Lars had to pet his head to calm him down. Somehow it brought calm to his soul too, and all the negative thoughts slowly began to fade away. Right. No time for being pessimistic! He had already accomplished the impossible once – a huge interstellar space and hundreds of light years to return to Earth from the Homeworld. This journey can't be harder, right?

Suddenly the door to the room slid open, pulling Lars out of the tangle of his mind. He turned his head slowly, tensing and preparing to jump out the window if necessary… but it was just Sans. It surprised Lars though, because the skeleton just walked in like a normal monster being, instead of teleporting behind his back scaring the hell out of him. When did Lars owe the honor?

“Yo, Lars,” the skeleton said, smiling broadly. The pirate tried to smile too, but the next second was back to staring at the ceiling.

“Yo, Sans.”

“What's up, buddy? Feeling any better?”

“Yeah... Dunno what exactly Alphys brought to cure my leg, but it feels a lot better now. Ready to go, if necessary.”

Even though Lars said so, he wasn't sure he could even get up right now. His leg still felt strange, as if the medicine that Alphys gave him made his bones soft and flexible like plasticine, and now the broken parts were, like, merged together... So secretly he hoped that no one would drag him anywhere, at least, for a couple of hours. Luckily for him, Sans only waved his hand lazily.

”Nah, we could use the break,” he walked over to the bed, turned around and flopped backwards onto it without taking his hands out of his pockets. His gaze also fixed on the painted ceiling, and he looked so tired, he probably just wanted to lie on the bed in silence. Lars didn’t want to disturb him with talking… However, the skeleton himself waited only a short while before asking:

“Hey, as an expert on stars, what do you think. Does it look similar to the real ones?”

Lars nodded. But realizing his nod would probably not be seen, voiced his thought:

“Very similar. Stars and planets… Almost like the real ones.”

Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Sans' smile became wider and… proud even? 

“Do you, by chance, know who drew this?”

“Someone who had a lot of free time and a sudden inspiration.”

“And a stepladder.”

“No stepladder,” Sans suddenly hesitated for a moment. “I guess…”

“So you don't remember… And how long have you had memory problems?”

“How can I tell when I started having memory problems if I already have it,” Sans remarked reasonably. “I even forgot why I came here, can you believe it? I think, there was a specific reason but, heh… it's a mystery to both of us now.”

The skeleton turned his head and winked at Lars. But the guy quickly looked away. He didn't need this information, after all. The truth was that Lars wished he could just hold on to something unrelated to what was going on in his head right now. But no matter how hard he tried, all his thoughts boiled down to one thing…

There was nothing to talk about already, but each time, as he replayed the last conversation, Lars found it more and more difficult to even look at Sans. Because instead of him, the one who had such a friendly smile, Lars saw another Sans, with a blank blake stare on his face. Alphys, who tried, unsuccessfully, to hide her tears. Undyne, whose face flashed a mask of rage and pain just for a moment before she stormed out of the lab. And Papyrus, forced to be torn between his desire to help Lars and his duty to his people…

The pirate was tired of thinking about it and wanted just to talk about something insignificant. To ask Sans about whether or not he really lived in this lab before. And if so, what he was doing here. Where he'd learned to draw so cool. Anything… As long as he didn't keep going over and over everything said and unspoken in his head!

“Look, Sans…”

No, not a good start. Lars bit his lip, grimacing painfully, he could barely bring himself to say anything but…

“I'm sorry…”

“Come on, kid, I'm always forgetting things. You have nothing to do with it.”

“N-no, that's… that’s not what I mean…”

“Why, then? Have you done something wrong?”

What an excellent question.

“Have I done something right? Because of me, Papyrus will never join the Royal Guard, and all of you are still trapped in this bloody dungeon… I've done a shitload of bad things here, Sans!”

Lars felt he was already on the verge of tears. How stupid… Dropping the heavy conversation on Papyrus' shoulders, being so powerless in that moment. So useless!

“Well. First of all, it's not your fault we're stuck here. And it never was,” the skeleton said calmly. “And second. Just between you and me, y’know, no one was going to let Papyrus join the Royal Guard in the first place.”

“Don't make up nonsense like that just to make me feel better.”

“I’m not making up anything, kid. Let's just say I heard Undyne once said he is not suitable for this job.”

“Sans. Not funny,” the pirate frowned, raising his head. There was only a silent shrug of the shoulders in response. “What the hell, what do you mean he's not suitable for it? He's so fucking strong!”

“You know it's not the main point. Think about it. Papyrus was supposed to catch you and get you to Undyne. But he befriended you instead. He’s protecting you, even though it fundamentally defeats the purpose of the Royal Guard. I think that is exactly what Undyne was talking about. Papyrus…” Sans sighed. Inaudible, but Lars saw his chest rise and fall heavily. “He's too soft for this kind of work. If someone less friendly than you had been in your place, how do you think it might have ended?”

Lars sank back onto his pillow, staring thoughtfully at the ceiling. It's kind of a problem, sure, but… what's wrong with being soft sometimes? Steven is always gathering potentially dangerous creatures around him and ends up making a lot of friends and allies. Even Lars himself managed to assemble a whole team of gems just being kind to them! And besides, he totally disagreed with Sans' opinion about how fit for the Royal Guard Papyrus is. He should've seen his brother when he fought Lars! Such skill and discipline would be the envy of any, even the best guard. He and Undyne simply underestimated him!

“Still, there’s at least one thing I ruined. Papyrus and Undyne’s friendship…”

“Oh, don't worry 'bout that. She can't stay mad at Pap forever, she cares too much for him. She'd rather turn her anger on you.”

“Heh… I'd be lying if I say I’m happy about it, but… that’s way better,” the pirate let out a mirthless chuckle.

“They'll be fine,” Sans said in a confident voice, probably wanting to cheer him up. “You'll see. It won't be another week before she starts giving him those cooking lessons again and…”

“Undyne's teaching him how to cook?!”

Lars sat up in amazement. The dog, who had somersaulted to the other side of the bed, grumbled, angered at the fact he'd been woken in such a disrespectful way.

“Yup. And right now she's teaching him how to make pasta,” Sans winked slyly. The mention of that dish made Lars shudder.

“Oh, that... I guess she's not much of a cook,” he suggested, giving the dog a gentle pat on the head. 

Well, good or not, it was somehow nice to know that Undyne was also interested in cooking. It made her a less unattainable person...

“Heh, yeah. She really isn't the best cook in the world. But she’s good at other things. For example, she is an excellent fighter and a leader. Undyne and King Asgore do everything to keep us from losing hope. It's just that sometimes…”

Sans stopped for a moment. The smile faded from his face, and Lars stayed silent, waiting for him to tell more.

“Sometimes things can get out of hand, y’know. Things get too complicated in the blink of an eye. Even if you try your best to fix it, to make it better… Is it even possible? To make things better for everyone? Don't answer that, it's a rhetorical question,”  he snickered, closing his eyes. Lars wouldn't answer that, even if he really wanted to.  “Anyway, it's a very slippery slope, if you ask me. You just can’t anticipate which way the wind will drag you. Every action has consequences. And one day, before you know it, you may become a bad guy in someone's eyes. Especially when you take on so much responsibility...”

Sans went silent again, never seeming to finish his thought. Lars was sure he could've told him more, but whatever was the reason, Sans chose not to continue. For a while they just listened to the ticking of the clock, both deep in thoughts… Lars was sure that neither of them were thinking about anything good.

“If I could just do something…”

“C'mon, kid, you've got your own things to do. Besides, the great minds have been working on this question for hundreds of years, but they couldn't find any other way. I'm afraid all we have to do is just wait a little longer.”

“But that cannot be the only way!” the pirate scratched his chin. “Perhaps you've missed something…?”

“And you think you can do better than the royal scientists?”

Lars didn't even have to turn around to see whose voice it was. Undyne was standing on the doorstep, leaning her shoulder against the door jamb and staring at him with such a stern look that it made his blood run cold. It was so uncomfortable that she was addressing directly to him… But Lars had no intention of keeping his mouth shut.

“I didn't say that. But the narrow focus of research often impedes finding the answer, don’t you agree? Maybe you just need a fresh take on the situation…”

The glare from the lamp reflected in Undyne's eye and made her look even more like a wild predator. The bright red hair in the yellowish light looked like flames resting quietly on her shoulders. If it really was the flames, it would undoubtedly do so, just to avoid incurring her wrath. Everything around her seemed to freeze and prepare to do her bidding. How could Papyrus even speak against her? Perhaps they really were good friends if she actually listened to him and even accepted his decision. Well, Lars hoped she had.

But now Papyrus wasn't around, and Lars had to talk to her by himself. But what could he say to her? What could he say to make her listen to him, and also how could he avoid unnecessary fights? Especially since Lars always had trouble getting along with others… But he had to. He wanted things to get back to normal between Undyne and Papyrus. He didn't want to leave the Underground knowing that Papyrus would be all alone…

Luckily (or unluckily), Undyne started first.

“If it hadn't been for Papyrus, I wouldn't have listened. I don't know what you did to make him like you, but if that's what happened… I won't hurt you.”

The pirate tried to smile, even though he knew she wouldn't care.

“Oh, all right. In that case, thank-”

“But I'll go with you from here,” she added before he could finish, and the air pushed out of Lars’ lungs. At that moment Sans snapped his fingers and exclaimed in an unusually enthusiastic voice:

“That's right, that’s why I'm here! Alphys asked me to help her fix your radio. So I've decided to stay in the lab, and Undyne will accompany you two. Isn't that great?”

What exactly is great about that?! That's what Lars wanted to ask, but could not say a word…

“It can be pretty dangerous in Hotland, and I have the reaction of a snail. Undyne can protect you better than I,” Sans said, getting out of bed. The heroine of the occasion added fuel to the fire as well:

“I don't care about his safety, Sans. I'm only going to make sure the human isn't planning anything against us. And that he won't harm Papyrus.”

“I beg your pardon?!”

Sans laughed at his reaction. He seemed to enjoy Lars' suffering…

“Don't worry, she's joking. Right, captain?” As an answer to his question, Undyne silently pushed herself off the door jamb and out into the corridor. Sans turned to Lars with a satisfied smile. “There you go. Fine sense of humor. This is gonna be fun.”

Yeah. It's gonna be hilarious…

“Hey, Sans…”

“Listen kid, I just love talking to ya, but I’m actually in a hurry. See ya around.”

And just like that, without even deigning to explain anything, the skeleton disappeared from the room in his usual way. Everything that had happened felt rushed and wrong and Lars stared into the emptiness for a few minutes, wondering how this sudden change of allies would turn out for him. He was no longer confident that he would return to his crew alive.

Well, or not in pieces…

Chapter Text

In the morning, they left the laboratory by the second exit leading through Hotland to the royal castle. As they walked through the door, Lars immediately felt an irresistible urge to go back inside — compared to the heat outside, it was pretty chill in the lab! The air was hot and stifling, lava was bubbling far below, and the pirate swallowed anxiously as he stepped back from the edge of the road. If he falls down here, he won’t get out alive, that’s for sure…

While Undyne was saying goodbye to Alphys, Lars heard the lizard girl express her uncertainty about the whole idea. if he'd understood correctly, she was worrying that Undyne wouldn't survive the journey through Hotland. Right. She's a fish of some sort, isn't she? She got scales, gills… Humans have a way of getting used to any condition, but for an amphibia heat could be a real problem. Come to think of it, Alphys had even kept her laboratory at pretty low temperature so Undyne would feel comfortable. And despite all the risks, she still wanted to join him and Papyrus?

However, the captain of the Royal Guard seemed not to take these worries seriously – and the reason for it was in the special suit that Alphys had made just for her. She was absolutely certain it would do the job perfectly. It looked like a motorcycle suit, with small cylinders attached to the back, and apparently was supposed to protect Undyne from high temperature and dry air. There was also a helmet with a strong glass in the front  – or was it some kind of special alloy that only looked like glass? Considering that it wasn't going to fog in this heat, that seemed far more likely.

“Everything will be alright, Alphys. Don't worry,” Undyne promised, gently squeezing the scientist's hands. “This suit is great and I've tested it more than once, remember?”

“I know, but it was s-so long ago! Some of the parts must be obsolete and ineffective… Oh, I should've ch-checked it better! W-what if the filter breaks? Or-”

“Alphys, Alphys… Calm down, take a breath. There's nothing wrong with the suit. I bet it won't break even if I decide to swim in the friggin lava,” Undyne smiled, and Lars, who had been secretly watching her out of the corner of his eyes, raised his brows in surprise. It was hard to believe that the iron lady could smile so warmly…

“Oh, Undyne, y-you always overestimate m-my abilities…” Alphys’ cheeks turned pink, but then she suddenly added, grasping the meaning of her last words: “Don't you dare do that!!!”

The captain of the Royal Guard laughed out loud in response and squeezed her hands once more, leaning closer to her.

“But swimming in the hot lava sounds pretty fun, don't you think?”

“Undyne!!!”

“Okay, okay, I'm just kidding! Geez. It'll be alright, Alphys, I promise. But… You know I have to go,” with these words Undyne suddenly stood up straight. Just a second ago she was so relaxed and cheerful but now she put her iron mask back on her face. “I don't want to leave Papyrus alone with… this.”

Lars didn't react to the last words, though he guessed Undyne said it so loudly on purpose. Was she trying to piss him off? Well, not like it didn't work at all… Especially the fact that she honestly believed he might hurt Papyrus — freaking PAPYRUS, who had treated him kindly all this time! Really? What kind of bastard did she think he was?! Or should he ask, what kind of bastards among humans she'd met that she allowed herself such thoughts?

Welp… It's going to be quite a trip.

Turning away from the girls, Lars sighed and wiped the sweat from his forehead. His shirt had already soaked through and his skin was hot enough to cook an egg on it. He glanced enviously at Papyrus, still in the freaking sweater with rolled-up sleeves, humming something cheerfully. Looked like he felt great even in that heat…. But there was some good news too! Lars' leg doesn't hurt anymore, so he finally could move on his own without becoming a burden to Papyrus. The guy had been worrying already too much about him these past few days…

“You're the best boy in the world, you know that?” the pirate crouched down next to the dog, who had been peering at him with his round black eyes the whole time. They decided to leave him in the lab with Sans. The brothers had never taken him to Hotland before, so they were not sure he would withstand such a dangerous trip. “Good dog. I'm gonna miss you…”

Lars rubbed him between his ears, and the dog wagged his tail happily as he licked his nose in response, making the pirate smile.

“It was very nice to m-meet you, Lars,” Alphys said as she moved closer to him. “Wish you g-good luck!”

“Smell you later, kid,” Sans added.

It's a pity that Alphys didn't have enough time to fix the radio before they left… But she'd said she had plenty of ways to get the thing to Lars anywhere in Hotland, so he wasn't too upset. In any case, it wasn't a necessity — just a useful and pleasant addition. If he managed to get back to his crew before the radio was fixed, well… it would be even better.

***

Every town in the Underground was a special place. Snowdin, with its mountains of snow on one side and holiday lights on the other, could be described as the small, but very charming Christmas town. Waterfall, with its glowing purple, blue, and turquoise colors, looked like a magical neon cave… And finally, Hotland was a freaking living hell. Or, at the very least, the mouth of a volcano in which some crazy person decided to build a city. Everything was colored red (even the wide stone bridge they walked on); boiling fiery lava surrounded the place on all sides, rolling over like a heavy river below and hissing through cracks in the walls; the air was so thick and hot it was almost impossible to breathe. Lars wasn't sure he would handle such trials, at all. But he didn't really have any other options…

He and Papyrus walked behind Undyne, who led them down on the most safe path, as she called it earlier. She talked to them occasionally, but only to instruct them on how to pass certain traps — for the most part she walked in silence, giving them a stern look once in a while. The road also was quiet and almost deserted, some random monsters met them along the way a few times, but when they saw Undyne, they just greeted her politely and then passed by. The strange pink guy and the skeleton in the red scarf didn't attract their attention at all. So nothing prevented Lars and Papyrus from chatting.

“...this is the third day you've been here, right?” the skeleton chuckled. “Or is it the fourth? Sorry, I must’ve lost track of time.”

“It's hard to say, really! It's almost always daylight here, except for some areas in Waterfall.”

“Yeah, the power's on pretty much all the time.”

“Don't you get tired of it?” Lars squinted at the bright beam that suddenly hit him right in the face. He didn’t know how the monsters' eyesight worked, but his own eyes felt like grapes dried in the blazing sun from such harsh light.

“Someone must be getting tired,” Papyrus shrugged. “But without artificial light there's no way to navigate the Underground, so…”

“Yeah. I wonder how high the electric bill would be.”

“Electric bill? To whom?”

“Nevermind, I'm just making a stupid joke,” Lars laughed hoarsely. The trickles of sweat ran over his temples, wetting his hair, but at the same time he felt as if his insides were covered in ash. He reached into his backpack for a bottle of water and took a few sips. The water seemed to start evaporating from his body instantly, but still, he felt a little better now.

After Papyrus declined the offer, Lars thought for a moment.

“Hey, Undyne, want a sip? It’s quite hot in here,” he asked, shaking the bottle in the air. But Undyne didn't even turn her head in his direction. Well, that's to be expected… Lars tucked the bottle deeper into his backpack.

“So… You said all this illumination you have in the Underground… is thanks to the Core, right?”

Papyrus nodded, smiling warmly at him, clearly appreciating every attempt Lars made to get Undyne's attention.

“Oh yes. The core is the source of power in every corner of the Underground! I don't know the details, but Sans told me it converts geothermal energy into magic or something like that… Isn't it exciting?

“Yeah. It sure is…”

They interrupted their conversation for a while to go through another danger zone. Well, it was dangerous only in description, but Undyne was still watching their every move — Lars especially…

"What the fuck she’s expecting? That I'll push Papyrus in the lava?" for a brief moment Lars thought that nothing would change her attitude toward him. Not a word, not an action, nothing! Not even the fact that he hadn't harmed a single soul in this goddamn place! Undyne wasn’t going to change her mind… And why did he have to prove anything to her anyway?! It was easier to ignore her and focus on his goals! Right?

It was just… it was so unfair! Lars felt the old wounds reopened — wounds that his insecurity left him long ago. He thought that now, when he became a space pirate, a captain with his own crew, he said goodbye to his old self, to his old problems, weaknesses, fears — forever! Well how fucking naive. These wounds never left, just covered with a rough crust, stopped bleeding until someone stronger, someone more confident and tougher showed up. Until SHE showed up. With her unwarranted mistrust, her arrogant attitude, her unwillingness to even listen to him! She had stormed into his fragile, newly-built world and brought to light all his old forgotten insecurities. And, frankly, Lars…

Hated her for that.

“Lars? Are you all right?”

The pirate turned around and found Papyrus peering worriedly at him. Did he read his mind or something?

“Who, me? I’m… W-what are you talking about?”

“I mean, it must be hard… To be stranded somewhere you don’t belong to.”

Oh, that…

“Pfft, not for me!” Lars said fearlessly, tossing his head. Of course he was fine! Just felt a little claustrophobic, lost and helpless, and his powers weren't working here, there was nothing he could do, and also, there was a dangerous fish person, ready to shove a spear down his throat if anything… It was a-a-all right!

Anyway, there was no way Lars would have given Papyrus any cause for alarm.

“This is not the first time I’ve entered a new world without being able to get out right away.”

“Oh yes, I know!” Papyrus smiled. “The Homeworld, right?”

“Yeah, that. Oh, and I didn't mention the time I was stranded on a desert island!” Lars added. “I hadn't been captain of the Sun Incinerator yet. Just an average teenager.”

“Were you scared?”

“Are you kidding me, of course I was! But I wasn't alone then, luckily — Steven and Sadie were my comrades in misfortune… I mean, technically, we weren't even stuck there, it was Sadie who set the whole thing up. But those are details!” Lars let out a nervous chuckle. “It was fun, mostly. We were fishing, building a shelter, Steven was playing his guitar, then some monster came, and we were trying to escape him and…”

Lars interrupted himself, noticing that Papyrus was looking at him with admiration. Just like earlier, when Lars was talking about his misadventures in the Homeworld. But this time the reaction made him feel a little… odd. He hadn't done anything right that time. Actually, it was his trashy personality that got him, Steven and Sadie into this mess!

However…

“It… it made me tougher, you know? More than once in our adventures, my crew and I have been forced to make landings on abandoned planets. And every time, even when I've been scared out of my mind, I forced myself to calm down and remember what happened on the island. To remember that I was responsible for the safety of my crew. And then… I did everything I could.”

“You sound like there's nothing easier tho,” Papyrus noticed. “It must be fun to be on an abandoned planet!” 

“Well, in a way,” the pirate nodded. “But it's also insanely dangerous. You never know what's waiting for you on such a planet. At any moment, it might turn out to be not so abandoned! But it still doesn't compare in difficulty to the way my crew and I escaped from Emerald’s base! It was…”

“Bullshit.”

A loud sudden hiss cut through the air. Lars shuddered and bit his tongue as he discovered the far wall covered with large cracks. Dust and debris fell down, and a fountain of steam burst from the widening hole in the stone — it would surely have burned the three of them instantly if they hadn't been a fair distance from the wall…

Though Lars wasn't sure which was more dangerous, the hot steam or Undyne, who suddenly showed interest in his story. She stopped just a few paces away from him and Papyrus, looking at him incredulously. Suspiciously even.

“There's no way you've been through so much.”

“Well, guess what, you have to take my word for it,” the pirate replied, somehow keeping a straight face. “I can't get you proof now, of course, but I can send you pictures later.”

“Do you REALLY asking me to trust you based on nothing?”

Undyne grinned like a wild panther, turned sharply on her heels and approached him. She was taller. Lars even had to raise his head to look her in the eye.

“You know, you don't strike me as someone who'd survive on a playground, let alone a desert island. So I think you're a goddamn liar, messing with Papyrus' head with all your fairy tales!” her voice was muffled behind the thick glass of her helmet, but it was easy to hear the hatred in her words. “Not surprising, though. Humans like you do whatever it takes to get comfortable, even in enemy territory.”

Lars grinned back, trying to calm the fire raging in his soul. The whistling steam from the wall on the side only increased his irritation.

“They say only shallow person judge by appearances… And I thought the captain of the Royal Guard would be smarter than that.”

“Got a problem, punk?!”

“Um, guys, I think we're getting a little off-target,” Papyrus squeezed between them, pushing them away from each other. But Undyne stepped forward again, keeping her withering gaze on Lars.

“Are you saying you're stronger than you look? Wanna prove it? Say, right here, right now?”

“Why should I? I'm not going to prove anything to anybody. Not in a stupid fight.”

The amphibia squinted dangerously, but turned away from him, slowly moving on across the bridge. Lars heard Papyrus let out a sigh of relief and whispered something encouraging to him, but he just couldn’t share his joy. He was pissed off. And he didn't know what miracle had kept him from acting rashly…

“Pap told me you’re different. But I can already see you're just like the rest of your pathetic human race,” Undyne suddenly spat out the words in disgust. “You all think you’re heroes. You write books about yourselves, making beautiful legends, boasting of your pity victories. But in reality you're just a bunch of bastards and weaklings who can only gather crowds and crush your enemy in numbers. You have no honor. No conscience. No-”

“Shut up.”

The whistling of steam suddenly became a sound of heavy gurgling. The lava started flowing through deep cracks and crevices in the wall, boiling and hissing like an angry cobra. Reached downward, to the river of fire.

“Shut. UP!”

His anger was such that he lost control of himself — even Papyrus couldn’t slow him down in time. Lars dropped the backpack from his shoulder and tossed it aside with such force that it rolled away to the very edge of the bridge.

“I've had enough of this stupid pretentious talk! You wanna fight? Wanna see how brave and honest I am?! Well you asked for it, dammit!”

“What, no, wait, no fighting!!” Papyrus shook his head in fear. “We don't have time for this! Lars, please! Undyne! It's too dangerous to fight here!”

But there was nothing that could stop those two. Moreover, Undyne seemed to be waiting for these words — she accepted the challenge with excitement, and before Lars could comprehend anything, there was a bright flash, and two spears materialized in Undyne’s hands. Without further ado, she threw one of them to Lars, who nearly dropped his whole self on the ground as he caught it. He certainly hadn’t expected it to be so heavy…

Undyne’s sneering smile hurt his ego, and Lars did his best to twist the spear in the air to show her that appearances can be deceiving after all. He wasn't even surprised at how steady his arm was. His muscles would be sore for at least a week after that trick…

If he’ll survive, of course.

“Ready?”

Undyne's fiery gaze burned brighter than the lava seething on all sides, and the spear in her hands was shining like a star. Lars nodded firmly. His heart was pounding furiously in his chest.

The wind was howling.

Chapter Text

The ventilation system worked as hard as it could, blowing air through the pipes hanging from the ceiling of the cave. Dust and debris were flying along with the air, cracking and rolling around inside, making the corroded pipes shudder. A rumbling sound was heard from a distance, and the loud hiss of steam from the sides. The lava bubbled under the bridge, exploding in huge bubbles.

The weapon in Lars' hand was not silent, either — it was humming, like overloaded electrical wires. Whatever kind of magic created this spear, it must have had something in common with electricity. The subtle energy was shimmering and flickering, jumping along the entire spear, tingling in the pirate’s palms as if sending light electric shocks into them…

He heard Papyrus’ voice through the noise, begging him not to fight. Promising that he can protect him from Undyne…

“Please! Just tell her you don't want to fight!”

“I remember saying something like that to you, Papyrus. Have you listened to me?”

“I…”

His voice cracked. Lars felt like a real jerk, being so rude to Papyrus, but… it was true. No matter what he said. No matter how much he wanted to avoid a fight. No matter if anyone was waiting for him outside. No matter. No matter. No matter!

Not Papyrus. Not Undyne. Not anyone else. No one who challenged him was going to let him go just like this.

“But you have to try... I'll support you! I can… I can protect you, Lars! Please…”

With a colossal effort of will, the pirate suppressed the urge to look back at Papyrus. Instead, he recoiled from him and shook his head. Sweat dripped down from his forehead and into his eyes making it difficult to see, so Lars quickly wiped it off his face, his every movement fast and aggressive.

“Do me a favor, Papyrus — stand back and don't get involved. In any way.”

“But!”

A noise of ventilation, explosions of steam and boiling lava drowned out what he was trying to say. Even if Lars wanted to continue this conversation, they ran out of time. There was no point in delaying what was going to happen… Now, there was only Undyne standing in front of him with the glowing weapon in her hands.

Anger was tearing him apart. Fear was paralyzing him. Something resonated from the depths of his soul, breaking through the power of rage and terror. Whispering.

“Defend yourself.”

Undyne rushed forward like lightning and jumped high, while a stream of blue arrows surrounded her body and then crashed down at an incredible speed. Lars put his weapon out in front of him, defending himself, but the arrows fell to the ground, crashing the stone bridge, raising dust all around, and – didn't hit him. A demonstration? Was she trying to intimidate him? Confuse him? Crumbs of broken stone were skittering across the trembling bridge, a solid wall of dust obscured the view, but Lars still was steady on his feet, without blinking his eyes. She won't catch him off guard!

The next moment, Undyne collapsed on the pirate from above, attacking him with her spear. Stunned, disoriented, Lars stared at her looming over him like Death herself... How long did it take him to pull himself together? He was almost certain that time stood still while he was gathering enough strength in his hands. Then, he let out a muffled cry and pushed Undyne away. The captain of the Royal Guard twisted in the air and landed on the ground while Lars was breathing sharply, almost dropping his heavy weapon, and watched as she plunged her spear straight into the stone bridge, making cracks and fissures in all directions…

He repulsed the attack! Yet, it was only the first blow, and his hands were already shaking as if he'd been carrying an entire island for hours. It took everything he had to push her back, and the worst part was that Undyne wasn’t going to stop. There was no time-out for him, so Lars tried to use every second to catch his breath…

His rival, on the other hand, wasted no time in resting: she pushed herself off the ground and began rapidly approaching again. Lars raised his spear, shielding himself from her attacks. The ringing and flashes of magical energy danced around furiously, accompanying each step of the opponents. Her attack – and his defense. Lars knew he wouldn't be able to push Undyne away again, so he defended himself desperately, hoping to win at least by anticipating her actions.

Try to wear her out, maybe? But she looks like she never runs out of energy! To her, his pathetic attempts to defend himself must be laughable! As annoying as the squeaking of a mosquito in her ear… Moreover, guessing games quickly became boring to her, so Undyne let out a loud battle cry and swung her weapon… Lars could only raise his spear before being thrown backward by the force of the blow.

Checkmate?

“Stop playing with me, goddammit!! Fight or surrender!”

Funny. Sounded almost like something Papyrus had told him earlier… The thought caused Lars to glance at the skeleton, who stood alone at the edge of the bridge, hands clasped together nervously, watching his two friends with worried eyes. The pirate finally felt a pang of conscience, putting Papyrus in such a difficult position, forcing to choose between himself and Undyne… If he survives, he'll be sure to at least apologize.

Oh why can't it be like fighting him!

“Easy, my friend… Or I might start thinking you're planning to kill me,” Lars chuckled anxiously, shifting his gaze from Papyrus back to Undyne. And froze for a moment, watching her suddenly change her face.

“What do you think this is, a joke?" she roared, straightened sharply and clenched her hand into a fist. Undyne is not Papyrus, she will not declare the next attack, even if Lars asks for it. And to spare him… no. All he had to do was guess where the next attack would come from. Meanwhile, streams of turbulent energy were surrounding Undyne once again. Lars darted a glance to the one side. Another. Upward. There was no way that another attack was going to…

“Lars, look down!”

The warning didn't reach his ears in time: the glow from beneath his feet lit up in a matter of seconds, spreading across the surface of the bridge. Lars froze as a dozen spears burst out of the ground with a metallic clang. He felt almost nothing, only saw something red splatter before his eyes, mixed with particles of dust and a ghostly blue glow. He heard Papyrus gasped, but this sound was immediately absorbed by the rumbling of the stone beneath his feet. Time ran at an accelerated pace when the pain finally shot through Lars’ body like a sharp dagger.

***

It seemed to last for an eternity. The stones kept crumbling, turning the bridge under Lars’ feet into a sieve. There was no time to lie down, but everything in front of his eyes was shaking… The pain increased with every second, burning his skin, and Lars finally realized the red splashes he saw earlier was his own blood, which now was dripping from his face down into the streams of fiery lava, passing the surviving parts of the bridge.

It was frightening to move even an inch… His whole body must have been shredded, just like this bridge. Lars could almost physically feel the terror creeping down his throat, curling up in a ball around his chest. He swallowed hard, trying to get rid of the lump lodged in his throat, wincing as he felt the iron taste in his mouth.

But the pain and fear passed by, and Lars found out the wounds were not as bad as he had imagined. There were a few big cuts on his body, his clothes ripped off, but... he was fine – mostly. Fine… Lars lifted his head, preparing to run his eyes over the tip of the glowing spear, but Undyne was still at the same distance as she had been before the attack. Her face showed absolutely no emotion, she was staring at him blankly. Was she… waiting? For what?

“It’s… just a scratch,” his legs were weak, but Lars stood up, raising the spear in his hands. He can still fight. He has to. “Space pirates do not give up that easily!”

The glass, hiding Undyne’s face from him, reflected lava crawling like a salamander across the cracked cave walls. The shifting rocks beneath his feet made a grinding noise, but Lars still heard the amphibia’s voice telling him:

“For the record, kid. I wanted to give you a chance.”

Undyne raised her weapon, and the magic swirled around her in glowing threads and darted toward her opponent, turning arrows on the fly. She gave him no choice but to defend himself again. The fresh wounds ached with every swing of the spear, so bulky and heavy that Lars' own movements seemed to be slow, as if he was being affected by the slow motion effect. It didn't play into his hands at all, but there was no alternative. He could only dodge, wondering how long it would take him to hold out. How many blows before he missed-

-one swing. One goddamn swing!! Arrow hit the pirate’s face and split into pieces, ripping his cheek. Lars cried out in pain and clutched the wound with his palm. The weight of the spear, still in his grip, pulled his body to the side. His vision blurred, the sound became muffled, but Lars had to stay on his feet: Undyne waited no longer and broke into a blinding stream of arrows, attacking him.

Lars tried not to panic, keeping pressure on the bleeding wound and protecting himself with the heavy spear, pushing Undyne aside again and again. Keeping her away.

“What the hell are you doing?!” she growled, getting pretty fed up with these tactics. “Don't you know how to use a spear?! It's not some fucking stick!”

Lars didn't answer – he was so tense, he couldn't even unclench his teeth. But it didn't matter! He needed to keep her away because…

“STOP! SCREWING! WITH ME!!”

There was one thing she didn't know, that she'll barely understand: he didn't want to hurt her. Not before, not now, not ever. No matter what she thought, it was never an option! Therefore, he needed to keep her a-

Undyne pulled herself off the ground – the stone beneath her foot seemed to crack – she now was right in front of Lars, grabbing his weapon with a steady hand. She twisted it and yanked it from his hands – he didn't even think to unclench his fingers to let go of the spear, and he paid the price for it. The pain stabbed his shoulder. Something shifted inside… His fingers were no longer moving as Undyne pressed her foot into his chest, kicking him away, the weapon still in her hands. Lars rolled off to the side, to the edge of the bridge.

“LARS!”

Papyrus' muffled scream came from the other direction. Lars heard hurried steps get closer and closer to him but couldn't move – he was lying on the ground, clenching his teeth, barely holding himself from howling in pain. Tears were flowing down his ripped cheek, causing even more pain…

Suddenly, the spear that was taken from Lars suddenly pierced the bridge, blocking Papyrus the way to his friend. The skeleton recoiled and froze, unable to believe his eyes. Undyne…  wouldn’t let him get closer?

“Undyne, stop!” he cried out with a loud voice and stood between two of them, spreading his arms wide. “You've already proved everything you wanted! There's no point in going any further! Please…”

“If the human wants to stop, let him tell me that himself,” she said dryly.

Bullshit. Lars knew this now: the captain of the Royal Guard only wanted him dead, and nothing would prevent her from achieving her goal. Not even Papyrus' pleas.

“But… Can't you see you've already won? You don't want to kill him, Undyne!”

A heavy silence was her answer. Or at least Lars couldn't hear the words. There was too much extraneous noise in his ears. Dammit! He hadn't even said goodbye to his friends from Earth. To allies he’d met on other planets. To his dear Off Colors… He needed them now more than ever. But they were too far away. They won’t hear him even if he still had the strength to scream. But he wanted to hear their voices so much, to see their faces, at least one last time, before he-

 Wait. No. No! He wasn't going to… he couldn’t die! He couldn't leave his friends! Lars squeezed his eyes shut, chasing away the pain, the doubts, the fears… He had to hold on. And start thinking… Just count to ten. Think.

One. Two.

His right arm was terribly injured. The bones were certainly broken in several places.

Three.

It was ridiculous to expect him to be able to hold a spear with that hand.

Four. Five. Six.

Lars stood up, reaching for the spear with his left hand, ignoring the searing pain throughout his body. The treacherous inner voice cried out desperately: "Stop! Surrender!"

Seven. Eight. Nine.

But despite everything, he wasn’t going to give up.

Ten.

“It’s not… over yet.”

Papyrus shuddered when he heard a faint hoarse voice behind him.

“If you want me to give up… You’re gonna have to try harder than that!”

“Lars, don't…” standing still between him and Undyne, Papyrus looked pleadingly at the pirate. His right arm hung limply. He’d lost so much blood. He could barely stand on his feet, using his spear as support. He couldn't fight! It's obvious, he couldn't!

But why then…!

“Then let's continue.” Undyne stretched out her arm with the spear in it. A bright glow arose beneath her feet, like quiet waves lapping on the shore. Magic flowed into her body drop by drop until she started to glow, but she was in no hurry to attack. For now: her eyes were on Papyrus, who was still standing in her way, protecting the human.

Lars stepped up to him and pushed him weakly with his shoulder.

“Lars, please!”

“Just stand back, Papyrus. I don't want you to get hurt…”

“Do I want that for YOU?!” the skeleton exclaimed, struggling to hold back tears. “Why are you both so stubborn! Your battle should’ve been over by now!”

“Pap…”

“Nobody said anything about fighting to death!!”

Lars frowned at a new wave of pain. Papyrus immediately stepped forward, gently holding him by his healthy shoulder.

“Please understand, this is between me and Undyne. If I surrender, she…”

The murmur of stones interrupted him suddenly. This time the sound was not from beneath his feet, but from somewhere in front of him, so powerful that the vibrations made the whole bridge shake.

“She will…”

A muffled thud. A low, deep rattle. Lars couldn’t even concentrate. He stared ahead, but couldn't figure out why everything was so wobbly. Was it still shock or…

“She will what? Lars? Can you hear me?”

Even Papyrus' concerned voice, which sounded quite near him, couldn't override that sickening scraping sound. Something was breaking. Crumbling… The whole world tilted and flowed down… Was he the only one who felt it?

“Undyne…”

…the bridge…!

The realization was a second too late. The rocks beneath the amphibia rained down, the pillars collapsing with a rumbling noise. The clatter of metal bars ripped off reverberated through the air, bouncing off the cave walls. Blue magic flashed and lit up the dust as Undyne's spear pierced the bridge but…

“Un-”

 Papyrus turned, threw his hands in the air, creating a magic bone net… But the body that was falling down pierced it like a spear, not slowing down at all. He was too late… too late.

Too late!

“UNDYNE!!!“ The skeleton rushed to the cliff, but Lars grabbed his arm before he could get too far away. The spear, thrown aside, rolled around the ground with a horrible clang. Thick steam soared upward and crashed down on the two of them like a tsunami. Lars pulled Papyrus close and wrapped his healthy arm around him as tightly as he could. Turning him away. Covering his whole face, squeezing his cheek against the cold skull, Lars prayed that Papyrus won’t see or hear anything…

But the sounds in Hotland were too quiet to drown out the heartbreaking scream.

Chapter Text

“Aaand… all done,” Sans exhaled as he placed the last garbage bag outside the lab door. It made a high-pitched squeal that caused the skeleton to wince – should’ve known better ways to bind the iron bars… Well anyway, it was too late to think about it now.

He wondered when was the last time Alphys cleaned the lab. A week or a month? A year? Her office was full of all sorts of junk: broken mechanisms, folders with old notebooks, empty noodle boxes and a lot of totally useless things that she thought was, um, cute? Seeing all this, Sans even started to think Alphys had problems with throwing stuff away and couldn’t help but felt he was partially responsible for it. He should have visited her more often. Maybe then he would've noticed it sooner…

In fact, he was so worried, he had even offered to help Alphys to clean up – and that was something Sans did only in the most exceptional cases! Papyrus would confirm. But cleaning was the least he could do after he'd given up his work in the lab and left everything on the Royal Scientist’s frail shoulders.

“All right, now it's up to the garbage guy. I've done my part,” the skeleton wiped his hands on his pants. After cleaning, the lab became more spacious. Made him understand why Papyrus cleans the house so often! Maybe he should've helped him more? Brother would probably be happy about that.

Generally speaking, after the human returns to the surface, it will take a ton of ideas to cheer up Papyrus. Better start thinking about it right now, while they’re still on their adventure. Pondering that, Sans was about to go to a well-deserved rest, after which he planned to help Alphys with the radio repairing. But just as he turned around, something caught his attention…

Or rather, someone – his brother and the human were slowly approaching the laboratory. Sans scratched his skull wondering why would they even think of going back? Change of plans? Decided to take the dog with them maybe? Or did they forget something? He immediately began thinking of some appropriate joke, but as he looked closely, he noticed something that made his whole body go numb…

His brother’s completely blank stare. Tracks of dried tears on his cheekbones. Traces of blood on his clothes.

“P… Papyrus?” he instinctively stepped forward. Then broke off into a run, teleporting halfway, and grabbed his brother’s hands. His fingers were so cold Sans could sense it even through the fabric of his gloves. Nervous smile spread across his face against his will. “Hey… Hey, bro, what's wrong? Are you hurt… Pap, do you hear me?”

But Papyrus didn’t react to anything. When Sans stopped him, he only faltered, staring somewhere through him, remaining silent, not answering any questions. Then Sans turned to Lars and froze, finally noticing the state he was in.

No matter how much the skeleton tried to figure anything out, Lars, just as Papyrus, could not get a word out. His lips, cracked from the dry air, moved faintly, as if he were trying to say something, but the words stuck in his throat. Sans glanced around him frightened: Lars stood all hunched over, his right arm weakly hanging from his hoodie that he used as a sling. His whole body was covered in cuts and abrasions, deep laceration on his cheek covered under a bandage – it was definitely made in a hurry, but at least it was enough to stop the blood. Which, judging by the pale look of the human's face, he lost pretty much…

He hardly had a good time.

“I… shit,” Sans shook his head. There was no time for questions, no point in that. The right thing to do was to take these two to a safe place and let them recover. The skeleton stepped between them, gently pushing both toward the lab doors.

Once inside, Sans allowed himself to relax a little and breathe a sigh of relief. No matter what happened in Hotland, the important thing was that these two were alive. Still, a single thought nagged at the back of his mind, keeping him from calming down, but now wasn’t the time to ask.

“Sit down, bro. There you go, careful… You want something? Maybe some water?”

Sans set his brother down on the couch and carefully covered his shoulders with a thin blanket, watching him intently. Papyrus didn’t answer, his eyes still completely glassy. He probably was in deep shock. Lars, on the other hand, stood at a distance from both skeletons, shaking like a leaf. Should’ve checked if Alphys had some kind of sedative in the medicine cabinet, but Sans couldn't bring himself to get away from his brother… Fortunately, soon Alphys came out of the office and the skeleton opened his mouth to ask her for a favor… but didn’t get a chance to say anything: noticing the guests, Alphys got so surprised, her notebook fell out of her hands to the floor with a loud thud. No one seems to react to that.

Sans darkened even more.

“Oh! You… y-you're back? But I thought you w-were on your way to the C… C-c-c…” Alphys stuttered real bad, nervously adjusting her glasses and shifting her gaze from one to the other, as she studied the pirate's terrible wounds and Papyrus' bloodstained clothes. Her face turned pale and she looked at Sans lifting her brows in a silent question. Too bad there was nothing he could tell her.

“What… W-what happened to you two? And w-where is Un…” Alphys paused before she could finish her sentence, her eyes widened in fear and her hands covered her mouth.

Right. Sans couldn’t stop thinking about it either. But he'd never let himself say it out loud… It was good that the two of them were back, even if they were in this condition. But, where is…?

“Undyne… Undyne is not coming back…”

If words had weight, these definitely would have pierced the floor of the lab and then fallen lower, to the very center of the planet. There was an expression on Lars' face as if those words had spikes and were ripping out his throat.

“We… got in an argument on the bridge. She challenged me to a fight, and…”

“You… won?” Sans asked in disbelief. But was there anyone in this goddamn world who could win the battle with the captain of the Royal Guard?

Lars shook his head in total horror.

“What? No!! I… When we fought… the bridge collapsed, and she… she…” his voice broke for a moment, he looked at Papyrus. Sans followed his gaze but it wasn't like his brother was even listening. “I didn't mean for it to happen… I… didn't mean to…!”

“Undyne… isn't coming back?”

…Dammit.

Alphys seemed to let any further explanation slip past her ears. Her glasses were somehow shielding her gaze from all present, making her expression impenetrable. Even Sans couldn't tell exactly what she was thinking right now. What she was feeling…

Definitely nothing good.

“Alphys…” the pirate whispered after a brief pause. His fingers were trembling. “I'm so sorry…”

“I understand. Apparently it w-was unavoidable. After all she's… so s-stubborn.”

The scientist spoke slowly and so quietly that everyone had to listen hard to make out her words. The hum of the computer and ventilation made this almost impossible. Her emotions were betrayed only by the way her small fingers clutched tightly at the fabric of her white lab gown.

“Hey, Alph? Are you alright?” Sans asked gently and immediately bit his tongue. Stupid question…

“It's… it's fine, Sans. I… I have some w-work to finish. If you'll… excuse me…”

She said that last part in a whisper. Alphys quickly turned her back to the others and returned to the office without giving Lars a moment to say anything. The pirate shuddered as the office door closed behind her, cutting off all sound from the other side.

Sans sighed and threw a worried look at Papyrus. He had climbed onto the couch with his feet, huddled in the corner, wrapping his arms around his knees and hid his face in them. Still showed no reaction to anything – even to his brother, who had been sitting beside him the whole time… Papyrus was a true ray of sunshine here in the Underground, always with a smile on his face, filling everyone around him with hope, always saying that things would get better, that they would come to their happy ending, one way or another. But now… Sans had never seen him like this. He didn't know what he could do for him now, so he just squeezed his cold fingers harder, trying to give all the warmth that was in his own hands. There was so much he wanted to say, and at the same time… he couldn't find any words.

“Pap, I…” Lars dared to break the silence, but his voice cracked as he spoke. He paused for a moment, gathering strength to speak directly to Papyrus and squeezed his t-shirt around his chest with his healthy hand. “Please forgive me… I couldn't do anything. I… I… It’s all my fault…”

“It is not your fault.”

A faint whisper could hardly be heard in the noisy room, but both Sans and Lars heard Papyrus' words quite clearly.

“It’s not your fault,” the skeleton repeated, raising his head slowly. His gaze was cloudy, tired. Empty. “It just… happened. She challenged you to a fight. You had to defend yourself. You couldn't just do nothing, your life depended on it. And… t-that's why…”

Sans leaned closer to his brother, hearing his voice tremble, and gently patted his head. Papyrus breathed out slowly.

“That's why… You don't have to ask for forgiveness. Because it is not your fault…”

“Don't say that. Please. Not you…”

All this time Sans had unconsciously tried to avoid the pirate's gaze, but now for some reason he couldn't take his eyes off him. The skeleton could have sworn Lars hadn't even noticed tears that flowed down his cheeks after Papyrus' words. His face twisted as if in unbearable pain. He didn’t blink, didn’t move. He didn't even seem to breathe.

“This is all my fault, you hear? I-I wasn't strong enough, I didn't react in time, I didn't help her…!”

“You wouldn't have made it even if you could move,” Papyrus said softly. Lars squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head as if he refused to understand.

“Why… You sacrifice so much because of me. You gave up your dream of being a guard. You took the brunt of Undyne's anger when she caught us. And even now, when it's so obvious, you keep saying it's not my fault…”

“Lars please…”

“Why?”

“You shouldn't say that…”

The pirate cried out through his tears, “WHY DO YOU KEEP PROTECTING ME?!”

Papyrus slowly turned his head and looked at Lars with a warm smile. The pirate’s shoulder, raised in suspense, immediately dropped involuntarily as Papyrus answered his question:

“Because you're a good human. I just know it. And I… really want to help you…”

Sans closed his eyes tiredly. This wasn't supposed to happen… But there was no point in looking for someone to blame here. Undyne is… was too stubborn and distrustful of humans for many reasons. There was no way she would take a human as an ally. But it was obvious that Lars didn't want her dead – even knowing that she would go to any lengths necessary to get his soul. Sans didn't fully understand why, but the pirate was different from all the humans who had appeared in the Underground before. He had noticed this, watching him from the very first minutes of his appearance in the Snowdin forest. Sometimes he was confused. Or scared to death. Or cautious. But there was never any… danger in him? He even chose to ignore and avoid the first monsters he encountered. Though he could easily just kill them…

The skeleton was distracted from his thoughts only when he heard the laboratory doors closed. He opened his eyes and looked around slowly, still holding his brother in his arms.

There was clearly one less person in the lab.

***

Lars walked away from the lab, the world blurred through hot tears, but he seemed not noticing it. He just walked without thinking, until he reached the river, where he stumbled over the rocks and collapsed to his knees. The wounds on his legs ached again, but he couldn't care less.

Lars was a pirate. It was fine for him to rob ships, to take prisoners in exchange for ransom and trade secret information. It was fine for him to break the law! But captain Lars would never kill. No matter who stood before him, he was no judge. No executioner. He had no right to take someone’s life! But today

He killed…

Even though it was an accident. A coincidence of circumstances. It still was his fault! He should’ve… He should’ve surrendered! He should’ve accepted defeat! He should’ve stopped the fight! But apparently he has to be a stubborn, insecure idiot who needs to prove himself! And despite all this… Papyrus still thought he was… 

Lars squeezed his right shoulder with his healthy arm, hunched over the ground. He didn't know how long he'd been sitting there, replaying past conversation in his head… No, he couldn't let Papyrus keep helping. He needed to leave alone and never show his face here again. And even if he fails then… at least he would repay for what he had done.

“Howdy!”

Lars lifted his head and through a veil of tears he saw a cloudy yellow speck with dark gaps in the center. After a few seconds of frequent blinking, though, the speck turned into a small flower that was smiling at him.

“Haven’t seen you for a while! How have you been? Did you find your friend?”

The pirate grimaced painfully. He didn't know why, but Flowey was the last person he wanted to see right now. Unable to find the strength to answer, he just lowered his head again. But Flowey didn't seem to take the hint.

“Okay, I'm sorry. That was rude… especially considering what you went through on that bridge. It was a horrible experience, wasn't it?”

Nor did Lars find the strength to be surprised that the flower was aware of what happened.

“Really, I'm terribly sorry for you,” Flowey continued. “But you should think before you beat yourself up over all that. It wasn't your fault! It was Undyne, right? She started it. Making all these big speeches about how pathetic humans are… You know, she was always such an idiot!”

“She wasn't… she's not an idiot.” Lars whispered, feeling tightness in his throat as if something was stuck in it.

Flowey hesitated for a brief moment, putting a green leaf to his round face, “But she should've known this old bridge was in bad condition… and yet, she offered to fight on it. Pretty stupid of her, if you ask me. So I guess she is an idiot!”

“Shut up, Flowey,” Lars shot him a furious glance but the flower smiled innocently, tilting its head back and forth, causing petals to spring merrily.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid fish! Stupid death for a stupid fish, am I ri-”

“SHUT THE HELL UP!!!”

Flowey pressed against the ground, staring at the pirate in surprise. Lars clenched his fist so tightly, his fingers must have left bruises. His throat ached from screaming.

“Golly, you’re so fearsome all of a sudden… Wait, do you really feel sorry for her?” the flower frowned with annoyance. “But she almost killed you!”

“Whatever. Get me out of your company, will you? I’m not in the mood for your bullshit…” Lars slowly got to his feet. But as he took a few steps away from the river, he heard a strange movement behind: Flowey dove beneath the ground, and in a flash he was in front of the pirate, hovering overhead like a small yellow umbrella. Lars stepped back but stopped immediately, feeling something poking him in the back.

“Oh you're not going anywhere, my friend. I still have so much to ask you!” Flowey stroked his cheek with a green leaf, as if he wanted to calm him down. As if a freaking talking flower with a scary smile could comfort anyone.

“T-there's nothing else to talk about!” the pirate said as confidently as possible, trying to ignore the rapid heartbeat.

“Ugh, how rude. Didn't your mommy teach you any manners? Guess I'll have to do it, then.” Flowey hummed softly. At the same moment Lars felt the thin stems reach up his legs, entwining, small thorns pricked and ripped at his wounds. The pirate groaned and twitched… but it was already too late to resist. The vines held his body tight like adamantine rods.

“F… Flowey! What are you…”

“Say, Lars. Were you afraid to die?”

“…what?”

Flowey exhaled irritably, rolling his eyes to the cave ceiling.

“Well, you know. I wonder how people feel before they die. You can't just pick anyone random to ask about that, don’t you agree?”

Lars shook his head slowly, keeping his eyes on the flower’s face.

“I… I d-don't understand what you are talking about…”

“You don't, huh? That's a shame!” the vines squeezed Lars’ body, like a rubber toy. “You know, I think everyone is afraid before they die, even a tough girl like Undyne. And Sans is scared of death too, no matter how much he plays the nihilist. Oh, and his brother…”

The pirate caught his attention with a sharp sign. Unfortunately it was all he could do right now: the stems were pressing so hard he couldn't even think properly. The flower slightly loosened its embrace.

“Huh? What is it? Is there something you want to tell me?”

Lars gathered all his strength to put it into a single phrase:

“Don't… you dare… hurt Papyrus… you freak!!”

“Or else? What are you going to do? Lecture me? Or…” a terrible shadow flashed across Flowey’s face. He smiled broadly, showing a row of sharp, thin teeth. “KILL ME?”

The stems clasped around again, and after a moment a scream filled the still air. The pirate's body shivered and twitched as the thick thorny vine went through his rib cage. Flowey grunted annoyedly.

“Whoops, a little too much… Always happening with new toys! They break at the slightest pressure.”

Every inch of Lars’ body burned through a maddening pain.

Every breath felt like a thin, icy needle slipping through a torn lung.

His brain began to skip seconds, and then whole fragments of thoughts.

The light in front of his eyes flickered.

“Hey, Lars. Are you afraid now?”

He could barely concentrate on the voice. It seemed that Flowey kept talking, but the words were drowned out by some internal noise, like electric shocks. Lars watched with his eyes wide open as the world before him was losing its colors. The boundaries were erased. After only a moment – or maybe an eternity – everything was gone, and he was in the void.

Alone.

Chapter Text

He had been falling for ages. Moving unnaturally slowly and smoothly downward. Into the abyss. Lars couldn't see it, but he could feel the space beneath him growing colder and colder. He had experienced something like this once - before waking up minutes later to find out that, while his soul had gone out for a smoke, his body changed its image a bit. He never minded much, though. It was even better that way.

Sometimes, he went up. His body twitched like a puppet suspended on a string, rose slightly in space - and then fell again, involuntarily throwing his arms and legs up and down. The hazy sensation of dizziness experienced when an elevator rushes downward, took over his consciousness for a while.

It was awful…

He tried to see something in front of him – to catch the trajectory of his movement. Did it make sense? Lars didn't know, but… Even considering that he was – dead? – there was still a desire to have some piece of information. To have some control. But instead he was only losing more, bumping his eyes into a deep blackness. He glanced at his hand but he still saw no other color than black. Only a thin streak of light separated the darkness from the outline of his forms. 

The vines had long since let him go - dissolved into darkness and emptiness, leaving behind only a pile of unpleasant memories. The pain, the horror, the despair were far in the past. So were the goals Lars had been striving for - shattered into splinters and disappeared, just like Undyne's spear right after her death.

Abandoning all attempts to see anything in the darkness, the pirate stared at his hand and thought. That emptiness… the absence of pain, the fall to nowhere… Will it really end like this? And he won't be able to visit Earth again? Lars was actually planning on going back and hanging out there for a while. Like, go on a long vacation or something…

He wanted to see Papyrus again. At least, to tell him how sorry he was… And to teach him how to make good pasta. And to see that flag he was talking about. Also it would be great to walk around Waterfall together without any rush! It seemed like a pretty cool place…

He wanted to give his gem friends a big warm hug. To tell them that everything will be alright. Even without their captain everything will be just great! They will be the most fearsome, best pirates in the universe! Though they already were… Lars was absolutely certain of that. 

The outlines of his hand began to blur. Lars felt panic, realizing that he was on the verge of disappearing into the void, leaving behind nothing but memories… And what memories! Papyrus will remember him as the guy who killed his friend! Lars clenched his hand into a fist - the outlines of his hand were flickering like interference on an old TV set - and squeezed his eyes shut. The sudden noise made him flinch and cover his ears. Something was scratching, screeching, ringing, crashing, all mingled in ugly cacophony, filling not only his poor head, but soon his whole body. As if it was going to tear him apart from the inside.

No, he couldn't… He wasn't ready to leave. Not like this! Even though it was selfish - rude, even - he was going to resist while he still had the strength. He tensed his body, and pressed his head tightly in his hands. This…

This could not be the end.

“How much longer are you going to run away from death?” his inner voice asked.

His lips moved in a silent plea, “Just a little bit longer. Please.”

The noise stopped abruptly, and a ringing silence filled his ears. Lars opened his eyes and watched in a daze as the recent events flashed before his eyes. The prickly vines that caused an uncontrollable shiver throughout his body. The cold light of the lamps and the familiar white walls of the lab. A beige sweater stained with blood, darker and deeper in color than the red scarf. Steam rushed down and spread across the lava. Rocks forming together a stone bridge…

The tape of his memories was fast-forwarding until Lars' own scream burst into his head. His fingers twitched and 

F̌̄͞ͅil̟̀͢e̶͋ hͦaͯ́͜s̟̊̍́ b̃ͮ͠ͅe̴͌e̛ͬͥ̕n̴̥͑ͯ̀ up̒͏l̲̏ͭ͘oad̶͔ͭͧ̀eͩd͒͏͔

***

The first thing Lars felt was a frantic heat on his face. After the icy emptiness where he was just a few moments ago, Hotland's air seemed impossibly hot. For the first few seconds he even thought he had foolishly plunged his face into the lava – but when he finally focused his vision, he found himself staring at the cracked and fractured surface of the bridge… He raised his head sharply and fixed his gaze on the captain of the Royal Guard who was standing a few meters away from him. Lars could hear the beating of his heart and the thudding of blood in his temples. Unbelievable. To see her safe and sound - alive! - after all that had happened, it was almost physically painful…

The pain, though, was not metaphorical. Lars had completely forgotten that - fresh scratches all over his body were burning and bleeding, and his hands were cramping from tension. Both hands!…

Then, like a good punch in the face, came the realization. All his thoughts gathered together, tearing his mind to pieces. His inner voice, which usually helped him to sort things out, was just screaming on one note, not making the situation any easier. Lars was frightened more than he had been the first time he'd been resurrected… Not surprising, though - back then he'd gotten an explanation from Steven right away, and the surroundings were much calmer. But now…

What now? Lars had no idea what just happened! Why had he come back? Who had brought him back? How did it work?! Buried under millions of questions, his whole being refused to understand or accept what had happened!

But something burning brightly in his heart told him that everything was all right. Everything was as it should be. A vaguely familiar feeling that had no name yet, gently whispered: don't get distracted – just think.

So Lars did. He needed to figure it out – the sooner the better.

He was back almost to the very beginning of the battle: Undyne had wounded him with the magical arrows from under the bridge, and now she stood waiting, staring at him with an attentive gaze. As before, it was hard for him to understand what she was thinking. But last time, when Lars rose, declaring his intention to continue the battle, the captain of the Royal Guard began to fight even harder… Had she expected a different reaction? What would happen if he surrender now?

He took a deep, shuddering breath and looked away from Undyne. Papyrus stood not too far from her, clasping his hands together and keeping his restless gaze on Lars. The only thing the pirate knew for certain was that he had to avoid making the same mistake again. By any means necessary. Since the universe had given him a chance, he had to take it. Not for himself. Not even for Undyne.

“G… Good move,” his own voice seemed alien. “I thought it would be hard to catch me off guard…”

“Was that a compliment just now?” she grinned.

“Well… yeah? What, is it a crime to be impressed by your rival's skills?”

Undyne snorted indifferently and shook her head. Her long ponytail slashed the air like a whip.

“Whatever. Are we going to continue or not?”

Lars sucked the heated air in through his teeth. His head was still buzzing from the overwhelming thoughts. He was totally unprepared to repeat such an uphill battle.

“I, um… Wait a minute, let me catch my breath first…”

“Aw, what's the matter? Already exhausted? What a surprise,” Undyne didn't even try to hide her sarcastic tone. “You really are weakling.”

Her words instantly struck just the right chord, and Lars gritted his teeth, urging himself not to respond to provocations. There's no way Undyne would understand the reasons for his surrender. She wouldn't believe a word. She most likely would laugh at him or think he’s trying to fool her.

“Nope, quite the opposite. I still can stand on my feet, see?” he said, defiantly standing up and instantly feeling tiredness put pressure on his shoulders.

“So you’re not giving up, are you?” Undyne clarified.

“If I gave up after the first wound… It wouldn't change your attitude toward me, right?”

She thoughtfully twisted the spear on two fingers - as if it was a feather - while Lars barely held his spear in his hands, constantly struggling with gravity. How much strength was in that girl?!

“Then attack. Prove that you are worthy of respect as a true warrior.”

Lars had never been a warrior. And he didn't intend to become a warrior. Apparently, not until now.

There was, however, one thing. A condition he wanted to discuss before he plunged back into a battle from which, by definition, he could not emerge victorious… The idea had sprung up spontaneously as soon as he saw how Undyne was playing with the spear. Lars wasn't sure, but it might have played into his hands.

“First, I want to make a small correction to our battle. If you don't mind.”

“Оh?” Undyne's eye lit up with curiosity. “And what would you like to change?”

“This weapon is too heavy for me,” the pirate pointedly pulled his spear to his chest. He didn't even have to pretend that his hands were shaking. “Given the difference in weight classes, I'd like to exchange it for something lighter…”

He was already prepared for her to laugh at him, to call him a wimp once more, to deny his request. But, contrary to what he'd imagined, Undyne nodded gravely:

“I guess I really didn't consider that. But there are no other weapons here…”

“Actually, Papyrus could lend me one,” Lars suggested, giving the skeleton a meaningful look. Hearing his name, he perked up like a disturbed bird, and, turning his head around, pointed his finger at himself with a questioning face. Was there any other Papyrus here?

“I used your attack as a weapon during our battle. Don't tell me you've forgotten already!”

“Really?” Undyne asked in surprise, turning to her friend as well.

“Yes, that's right,” Papyrus confirmed, smiling. A blue ball of magic appeared in his palm and began to form quickly into a bone sword. Even in appearance, it seemed almost weightless. Lars let go of the spear, which clanked in a collision with the bridge and disappeared, and deftly caught the weapon thrown to him. The white carved hilt fit in his hand perfectly, the thin blade curving slightly toward the end. A sudden surge of confidence swept over him; with a weapon like this, he was ready to continue the fight.

Lars rushed toward Undyne, who was already waiting for his move. Screw the defense! Can't avoid the fight, so change your tactics. The bone sword whistled as it cut through the air and ran into a spear – Undyne parried the blow. Lars hesitated only a fraction of a second and attacked again, forcing Undyne to defend herself. But she didn't seem unhappy about it. On the contrary: the fire of excitement, like at the beginning of the fight, which Lars remembered well enough, flared up in her eye. The pirate held his breath. Did it mean he was headed in the right direction?

The blade flashed swiftly, striking blow after blow. His heart pounded unevenly, jittery, tense. In the back of his mind, Lars hoped that he could finish the fight without letting Undyne attack him with her arrows again. Just to wear her down… The main thing was not to let her take the initiative.

With the next sharp lunge, the blade cut through Undyne’s suit – the top layer of the material cracked and separated at the point of impact. Lars was suddenly flooded with warmth: surprised that he'd actually managed to get her, and at the same time terrified he could seriously damage the suit. Hotland's hot air seemed to be just waiting for an opportunity to burn the amphibia alive. It could hardly be called a salvation…

“Huh! Not bad, not bad at all…” said Undyne smiling in approval. She scrutinized the damage and clicked her tongue. “Not enough confidence, tho. Let me show you how it's done!”

Quick as a flash, she lunged forward. The point of the spear came dangerously close to Lars' chest - he didn't know how he'd escaped instant death. But Undyne didn't give up.  The spear, firmly clutched in her hand, was headed toward the pirate again - just enough for Lars to raise the sword and close his eyes when the recoil on impact pushed him back. Through the trail of dust that followed him, a glimpse of turquoise magic. He remembered it: Undyne threw her arm up, and a stream of arrows swirled around her.

Damn it… Despite his best efforts, despite the seemingly real possibility of changing the course of the battle, Undyne still used the same attacks! In an instant, Lars would be pelted with a shower of arrows that would be almost impossible to dodge. He remembered that attack very well. His cheek was already burning, anticipating the same searing pain again…

But this time he had the advantage of a lighter weapon - and knowledge. He had to handle it.

Undyne dropped her hand as the arrows rushed forward. Dodging and cutting through the magic, Lars tried not to let a single arrow out of his sight, concentrated his vision and gripped the hilt of his sword tightly. The carving on it kept the weapon from slipping out of his sweaty hands - he must thank Papyrus for it! Later. For now he had to hold on as best he could so that Pap's efforts were not in vain.

But the downpour of arrows continued unabated. Lars lost count and was no longer confident that the ordeal would ever end. However…

“Too easy for you, huh?” Undyne's voice approached with a menacing murmur as Lars hit another arrow. It took her only a few seconds to close the distance between them and take a swing… Lars defended himself from the blow, but lost all thought… What should he do next? Attack, defend, change tactics once again? What?!

“The first rule of combat, brat: do not hover in the clouds when there is nothing to stop the enemy from snatching the weapon out of your hands!”

With those words, she grabbed the sword right by the blade. Lars immediately let go of the hilt. When Undyne's foot pressed against his chest, there was only a vague sense of deja vu, and a powerful jolt caused Lars to roll back, clinging with both hands to the protruding parts of the bridge. The skin on his fingers was bloodied and scratched, but at least he'd managed to slow himself down… Keeping Undyne from falling into the lava was the goal, of course, but he didn't want to be there either!

“Lars! Are you all right?” the concerned voice reached his ears before the pirate could think of anything. He looked up to find Papyrus, whose worried face now loomed over his head. His fingers rested on Lars’ shoulders, holding him firmly in place. 

Hold up!! Papyrus…

Something clicked in his head, and, brightened by the idea, Lars sprang to his feet and put his hand across the skeleton’s shoulder. Apparently, Undyne didn’t like that.

“Hey!! Hands off him!”

“In a sec!”

Lars had never planned to use his friend as a shield, but he needed some time. And with Papyrus so close to him, Undyne wouldn't dare to attack him. A foul play, but what else can he do? He's the damn pirate!

“What are you doing…?” the skeleton whispered in a startled voice. His tense expression betrayed a willingness to put a wall of bones between them at any moment.

“Pissing off your friend?”

“Lars, this is no time for jokes! Do you realize how dangerous a situation you're putting yourself in?!”

Well, he wasn't joking. Lars knew he was taking a terrible risk, but he had his reasons. Perhaps the thing he was about to ask will play a decisive role... He drew Papyrus closer to him and whispered quickly:

“Pap, listen, I need your magic. Can you put some sort of support under the bridge?”

“I… what?” Papyrus was taken aback for a second. Of course, he hardly expected such a specific question! But Lars was sure of an affirmative answer. He remembered the trick well enough.

“I think I can… But why?”

“Well, you see…”

“Time’s up, you punk!” Undyne's voice boomed.”Let him go now, or else…!”

“Pap, please,” the pirate turned toward him with a pleading look. “You do believe me, do you?”

The skeleton gazed at him with piercing eyes. For a split second, Lars was truly terrified to hear not the answer he was hoping for…

“Yes. Of course I believe you.”

Lars nodded, finally letting him go. Just in time - the weapon in Undyne’s hand was already raised menacingly at shoulder level, as if she intended to hook him on a spear with one throw. Undyne's gaze was not only angry, but also filled with a deep-seated fear that could’ve pushed her to the riskiest of actions. Lars couldn't even begin to imagine how close to the brink he was this time.

“What the actual fuck?! Are you asking for trouble?!” she shouted.

“Oh shut up! I wouldn't ever hurt him! Stop making me a monste- um, I mean…”

Lars swallowed. He could feel his heart racing. He was shaking with anxiety - or maybe it was the bridge that was shaking…

“I'll give you a sign,” he said without looking at Papyrus. A short "understood" was the last thing the pirate heard after he rushed toward Undyne. Before he used this plan, he wanted to try to get her away from the dangerous part of the bridge.

And he would do it, dammit, even without a weapon in his hands!

For the last few moments he acted clearly on the list he had made in his head: to dodge the spear that darted inches from his body; dash backwards; kick her in the back, pushing her off a surface that had already begun to crumble… But Undyne spun around and landed on her feet, jabbing her spear into the bridge – cracks went down the stone. She threw her weapon at him. Dodging it with an inhuman effort, Lars staggered…

…and the surface beneath him wobbled sharply, knocking him and Undyne off their feet. 

“NOW!” Lars shouted in despair. But the familiar sound through the noise and rumbling was already coming toward them, not waiting for his shout. The vibration carried across the underside of the bridge. Magic rang through the air along with a screech. Lars was overcome by the same feeling he'd had while flying down into the void. But the bone support slowed the collapse of the bridge…

“Grab on, Undyne!!” the pirate was trying to move faster than the speed of light when, pushing off the bone support, he jerked forward and grabbed her arm before she had slipped off the bridge. Every muscle in his body tensed. The bridge shook spurred his reaction, and Lars, despite the doubts and fears, pulled Undyne toward him and jumped to the side as fast as he could…

***

The rumbling was deafening, and all Lars could hear now was the ringing in his ears. He could still feel himself flying down, into the icy cold void.

But someone's hands gripped his arm tightly and pulled him upward. When Lars lifted his head and opened his eyes, he saw Papyrus holding him by his arm. To his right Undyne was gripping the wreckage of the bridge with her fingers and holding his shirt with the other hand. With concerted effort all three of them finally made it to the surface of the bridge.

Lars squeezed his eyes shut as his forehead touched the stone surface, and wrapped his arms around his shaking body.

In a second, the thick steam rose up, covering the rest of the bridge.

Chapter Text

As the bubbling lava subsided and the steam finally dissipated, something very important rang in Lars' head. It was over. Finally over! And this time no one was hurt. He hadn't become a murderer either directly or indirectly! Even if none of the monsters knew about it. Even if Undyne will continue to think of him as a pathetic weakling…

Okay, that last thing didn't sound so inspiring anymore.

“That was so... stupid,” the dust made her cough. “How could I have missed that the damned bridge was collapsing! I could have gotten you both killed...”

“Damn right.”

Lars bit his tongue. Sure, the situation was almost hopeless, but it was ridiculous to blame it on Undyne alone. He was angry, though. If she only knew how much he had to go through for this ending!

But... honestly, he didn't want to discuss it at all. It was better to leave everything in the past.

“Well, it all ended well, so…”

“Why... Why did you help me? You could have let me fall,” the pirate almost howled at that phrase, “and you would've got rid of the problem!”

“Undyne, you're not the problem. How many times should I tell you, I don't plan to do anything-”

She interrupted as if she didn't listen to him at all, “Don't you realize you just saved your enemy? Don't you have any brains at all?”

“Hey…”

Rude.

“It's just unthinkable,” Undyne threw up her hands. Whether she was angry or surprised or a little bit of both, but she obviously didn't know when to stop. “Don't you get it? If you'd just left me there, you wouldn't have to worry about anything! Why…”

“Oh, shut the hell up already!!!”

The scream echoed off the walls. Lars had never been good at holding back emotions, especially negative ones. Mostly negative ones. Besides, he hadn't had time to recover from all the horror he'd experienced: Undyne's death, the fucking killer flower, his own (second) death, the void, and then coming back from the dead followed by a fight without preparation! Lars felt like he'd come back from the war. Or that he'd been put through a meat grinder. And now this girl is yelling at him, berating, judging! What the fuck?!

“I helped you because I had to! People help those who need help, goddamn it! Or is that too complicated for you to understand?! "I don't know what you did to make him like you!"” Lars flushed with anger, copying her intonation. “Here's a little tip on how to get others to like you: don't try to FUCKING KILL THEM!!!”

The air even seemed to get electrified around him. Undyne sat silent, watching the pirate poured out his anger, perplexed by the tears in his eyes. Looked like Lars didn't even notice them.

“I'm not a murderer! Got it? I don't mean any harm, I just... I just... Who do you take me for, anyway? We only met yesterday!”

He finished his tirade, and then lowered his head, running his fingers into his hair and making several attempts to catch his breath. Lars was probably more angry and worried than he should have been. And he'd probably said too much… Fuck it! He has the right! What if it hadn't worked out? Would he have been given another chance? 

After a minute he flinched as someone gently touched his shoulder.

“Shit, Pap, I'm sorry! I'm… I'm not very good with emotions, you know?”

Papyrus nodded, and Lars shifted his eyes down again, trying to calm down. He didn't want to look at Undyne but he could feel her attentive gaze on him.

“Anyway... If duty demands your gratitude, don't waste it on me. You can thank Papyrus, because if you weren't his friend…”

“It doesn't matter,” Undyne interrupted him. ”It seems I owe thanks to you, after all. So um... 

Thank you, Lars.”

He looked up at her cautiously. Perhaps in any other situation he would have simply brushed it off and acted as if nothing had happened, but now... Noticing the surprise in his gaze, Undyne repeated:

“I mean it, you know! Thank you. It wasn't stupid at all... It was pretty fucking noble act, actually!” she suddenly thumped her fist on the bridge, making Lars jump like a scalded cat, then leaned back with a smile.

Undyne, able to make such a soft expression on her face? Is this even legal?! Such a sudden change stunned Lars so much, he glanced at Papyrus in confusion, waiting for him to explain everything. But the skeleton was only smiling broadly, shining with infinite joy, and was obviously happy with the way things had worked out. Lars had nothing to complain about, either... Wasn't that the effect he was trying to achieve?

“I guess I really was... wrong about you,” Undyne said with a heavy sigh. Lars turned sharply back to her.

“Well, I, uh... no problem? Shit happens…”

Shit happens? Can't think of a dumber answer than that? Well, Undyne wasn't quite as picky about words. Accepting that answer, she rose to her feet and carefully walked around the bridge along the broken edge, surveying and assessing the damage. She also picked up the backpack Lars had left on the edge. It was a miracle it had survived. Would have been a shame to lose it...

But Lars wasn't thinking about his belongings. Watching Undyne with a tense face, he could hardly keep himself from pulling her out by force. If the bridge kept crumbling, and she'll fall into the lava again, he would be sure to kill someone... Not Papyrus, of course. But someone, for sure – perhaps himself.

Fortunately it did not come to that. Undyne soon returned to them and, handing the backpack to the owner, informed:

“Well, there is no way through here now, we'll have to think of something else. Maybe I could look on the maps for alternate paths.”

“Are there any other paths?” Lars asked. Undyne scratched the back of her head thoughtfully.

“Hotland is the most undiscovered area. There may be some old abandoned tunnels here. It's more of a rumor, really, so I want to check it out first… In the meantime, I suggest we go back to the lab. What do you think?”

“Good idea…”

“I guess Sans was right about us seeing each other again soon,” Papyrus suggested with ill-concealed joy. 

“Don't let your brother bring this up, Pap…” Undyne asked almost imploringly. Less and less of a fan of that poor comedian. “Better yet, don't even mention it. Don't give him any reason to make another stupid joke.”

“You think I'm not trying?” Papyrus grinned, giving the pirate a hand to help him to get up. Lars scratches his head, wondering if they would avoid Sans’ puns. It was hard to believe…

***

“There they are, our travelers. Smelt you from a mile away!” Sans greeted them cheerfully from the doorstep. Strangely enough, no one was impressed. Even his own brother just dramatically rolled his eyes and walked quickly past him without a glance.

“Are you serious? You were willing to wait and hope for us to come back to use that exact joke?”

“Hey, it was completely spontaneous!” Sans began justifying himself, craning his neck to follow Papyrus as he disappeared out the door. “You know humor's in my bones, bro... Bro-o?”

“I'm not listening to you, you pathetic parody of a comedian!”

The voice, interrupted by the monotonous humming of the computer, sounded muffled from somewhere in the depths of the laboratory, and the others followed him inside as well. Once inside the cool room, Undyne and Lars exhaled almost simultaneously; it seemed like an oasis after running back and forth across Hotland.

“Geez, I feel like an overcooked noodle,” Undyne said. Lars gave her a tortured look as he threw the dusty backpack off his shoulder. One day he'd stop overreacting to phrases like that, but not today.

In the meantime, Sans was looking at them both with undisguised interest, leisurely approaching Alphys' desk and sitting down in her chair. The scratches on Lars' body, though almost healed, must have looked at least suspicious. And even Undyne's protective suit had been in better condition this morning. It's not hard to put two and two together...

“Why'd you come back? Something didn't go according to plan, cap'n?

“You could say that,” Undyne answered ambiguously, pulling her helmet off her head and smoothing her disheveled hair. They hadn't discussed it on the way, but Lars himself understood they didn't have to go into detail about the fight. Why bother the others?

“You guys sound like you're hiding something,” the skeleton persisted. His white pupils were staring straight into the pirate's face… but, to his relief, he didn't have to answer. They heard hurried footsteps from the kitchen, and soon Alphys, pale and frightened, walked out the door. She'd probably already run into Papyrus, but he didn't give her much explanation except to frighten her with his sweater stained with Lars’ blood. When she saw the others, she widened her eyes and muttered, tapping her fingers nervously against each other:

“Un-Undyne? What's happened? W-w-why did you come back so suddenly?”

“Everything is fine, Alphys," amphibia hastened to reassure her. Lars also gave her a carefree smile when the questioning look flashed to him. “In short, it's time to fix the bridge at Hotland…”

“Oh. Really?” the fear vanished from Alphys' face, replaced instantly by a suspicious squint. “Strange, wasn't it just fine yesterday?”

“Oh, Alphys, you know those bridges! Always breaking when we need them the most. We're lucky we escaped in time, right?” Undyne elbowed the pirate. Great. There will be a bruise tomorrow. “And when was the last time we did a maintenance check, anyway?”

“O-okay, I got it. I'll send a maintenance crew out there,” Alphys sighed. “But still, what happened? If I m-may point out, you both... look a little, um, b-battered?”

Undyne and Lars looked at each other, and both thought exactly the same thing. Alas. Looking at them, only a blind person wouldn't ask that question!

“Oh, that. We were just, well…”

“...had a little argument.”

“And then the bridge broke apart?” Sans clarified. Undyne flopped down on the couch with a look of irritation.

“I have no idea what you're referring to. It fell apart from old age, I tell you! Or from the weight of this guy,” she suddenly nodded at Lars, who was not expecting that at all.

“Oh, ha-fucking-ha! Even the ice didn't break under my weight.”

“But the bridge did. Amazing. How do you do that?”

Papyrus, who just appeared with two large glasses full of water and ice, chuckled softly and handed one to the pirate. Looking at his infectious smile, Lars felt much better, even in spite of his wounds. 

“Thanks, Pap. Perfect timing, as always,” Undyne took the glass from her friend's hands and drank all the water in one gulp. “Phew, I was nearly burnt alive!”

One more phrase like this and...

“Doesn’t your suit help?” the skeleton asked, sitting down on the couch next to her. Alphys, already flicking through a reference book, threw up her head and widened her eyes.

“Is it broken?!”

“No it's not broken! It works just fine, Alphys, I told you. I was just thirsty…”

Lars listened to their chatter, slowly sipping ice-cold water from his glass. Now that he had let himself relax, he felt insanely tired. All he wanted was to take a shower and fall asleep for ten hours. Or even for a couple of days! How was he still moving? Even his eyes were moving slowly and lazily, almost automatically, glancing over the white walls, over the shelves full of files, over the dusty windows-

And then Lars suddenly froze. For a second — just a second — he thought he saw yellow petals behind the window…

“Aha, th-there's the phone!” Alphys' joyful exclamation hid Lars’ muffled cough. She dog-eared the page and hurriedly strode toward the door to her office. “I'll go get the r-repairmen!”

“Oh, Alphys, wait, I'll come with you!” Undyne jumped out of her seat. “You have maps of the old paths, don't you?”

“Y-yes, I think so... You can look through them if you n-need.”

The girls disappeared behind the doors. But Lars didn't even notice. Nor did he hear Papyrus ask if he was feeling well. His heart was pounding like crazy. All he could think about were the prickly vines squeezing him like a piece of plasticine. He wanted to run away, to squeeze his eyes shut, to pretend he didn't see anything! And at the same time, his eyes continued to stare intensely into the thick glass of the window, picking out any movement behind it.

Lars didn't know what to do in case Flowey decided to appear again. Ask the brothers for help? No, there was no way he would let that bastard approach them! But he wasn't ready to be a hero himself. The tiny talking yellow flower made Lars feel utterly helpless…

He was helpless, actually.

“Eh?!” Lars jerked back. His heart seemed to stand up for a moment, but luckily it was only Papyrus.

“Oh. I'm sorry, did I scare you?”

“N-no, not at all…” Lars answered, breathing heavily, and put the glass of water on the table just in case. He couldn’t let himself say anything about Flowey. Papyrus doesn't need to know… “What is it, Pap? Why are you sneaking up on me like that?”

“Well, you weren't answering. And not even responding to Sans' jokes,” the other skeleton nodded in agreement. “So I was a little worried…”

Papyrus tugged at the edge of his scarf, visibly nervous, studying Lars’ face a little too closely. He looked as if he had something more to say, but remained silent for some reason.

“What? Is there something on my face?” Lars asked. These words made Papyrus frown and take a few steps back.

“No... I'm sorry. I was just thinking, don't mind me.”

Weird... Well, Lars was acting pretty weird himself right now, with all his sudden paranoia. Papyrus was hardly bothered by the same things, so... It must be the stress. Right. They both needed a good rest and something to distract them both... 

By the way.

“Hey, where's the dog?” Lars turned to Sans, who was already spinning in Alphys' desk chair. He seemed to be enjoying it. “Don't tell me you sold him!”

“No one in the whole Underground has the money to pay for our dog,” he grinned. “I just sent him to get the details Alphys asked me for.”

“You mean you could really send him to get something and he'd bring it to you? What a clever dog!”

“Yup. Or he'll fetch a bone.”

“Oh…”

“Sans, that's the height of laziness!” Papyrus exclaimed indignantly. “Putting your own work on the dog!”

“Hey, I've put the smallest part of the work on him. Besides, you know how he loves to go to the dump area and rummage through the trash,” Sans finally stopped spinning and winked. “It's quite a pupular sport.”

Lars glanced from one skeleton to the other. Sans eagerly expected the reaction while his little brother just stood silent, arms crossed over his chest. It was funny already, too, how serious he was trying to look at this moment.

“Come on, bro, it was a good joke. You could at least let yourself crack a smile!”

“I'll give you credit for it if you promise me not to make any more puns in front of Undyne,” Papyrus suddenly delivered an ultimatum. “Especially fish puns!”

Unfortunately, the brothers had to postpone these negotiations: Undyne had just emerged from the office, holding a pile of scrolls under her armpit. She looked like she actually heard the joke. And she didn't appreciate it...

“I don't know who the cartographer was, but I'd gladly shake his throat,” she grumbled. “It would take me a while to get my head around that mishmash. In the meantime, don't go to Hotland alone!”

“No problem. I doubt Lars liked it there at all.” Papyrus turned to his friend, who nodded in agreement. “Then... would you like to go back to Snowdin?”

“I'd love to. I think I really miss the cold.”

Also, there's probably less chance of running into Flowey in Snowdin… Holding his breath, Lars glanced out the window. No one was there. Maybe he was just imagining things?

“Then it's decided. Papyrus, you're in charge of this guy until I find another way to the castle. Or until the bridge is repaired,” Undyne said. The skeleton was about to salute, but hid his hands behind his back instead. 

“Got it, Undyne. I'll keep an eye on him…”

“I won't cause any trouble, I swear,” Lars smiled, giving him a gentle nudge. Papyrus smiled back, but the shadow of sadness on his face was still visible to the naked eye. Either he'd forgotten how to pretend... well, or Lars had learned to read him better.

***

After a few minutes, the brothers and Lars finally left the lab and headed for the boathouse. Undyne promised that the Royal Guard members would not interrogate or detain the human – at least as long as he wasn't breaking local laws. Fair enough. More importantly, it will be much easier for the three of them to get around the Underground now. Papyrus immediately offered to use the services of a boatman, and he did so with such enthusiasm as if rafting had every chance of being the coolest adventure of their lives.

“You're going to love the ride on the subterranean river! There's such a great echo!”

“The River Person hates it when passengers make noise, bro,” Sans reminded him with a slight smile and looked up at Lars. “So unless you want to swim to Snowdin's shore by yourself, you'd better keep your mouth shut. And your hands on the rail.”

“Why?” Lars frowned.

“They don't steer the boat very well. Better hold on, or you will fall overboard.”

“Geez, thanks for the warning.”

“Well, they are really not very good at driving... But the second thing you said about them is totally wrong!” Papyrus said with an expert look. “The River Person often talks a lot and asks lots of questions. They even sing sometimes!”

“Sing? Really? I have never heard them sing. They're quieter than Grillby.”

“Well, you must have met a different River Person!”

From the corner of his eye, Lars could see Sans moved his eyebrows thoughtfully. He reasoned that there was only one River Person at the boathouse, which made it strange to hear such different characteristics.

“There's the station! Come on, Lars! You too, Sans, or we’ll miss the boat!”

“Nah, I'll pass,” the skeleton suddenly stopped. “Don't really like the water. Also I get sick on boats. You go ahead, I'll take the short cut.”

Papyrus stopped abruptly and looked at his brother puzzled. But he did not argue.

“Well, I guess… Then be careful on the way, okay?”

“Sure," Sans nodded. “See ya both later. Have fun.”

“See you at home!”

Papyrus tugged at the pirate's arm while he watched Sans disappearing around the bend. No flashes, no noise, no swirling portals. Nothing. Lars was pretty sure he hadn't seen any turns or any alleys along the way... He wondered if he asked Sans about the principle his teleportation worked on, what were the chances of hearing an adequate answer?

More importantly. Could he help Lars figure out these time jumps of his...?

“Hey, Lars?”

“Huh? I'm coming, sorry, I was just thinking… Um.”

Turning around, Lars didn't expect to see such an intense look on Papyrus' face. The skeleton had looked at him that way before – not long ago, while they were in the lab. Lars only now realized that all this time Papyrus had been slowing his pace until he had finally stopped. It was only a couple of dozen steps to the station, there wasn't anyone around. It probably seemed like the right place for him to... well, whatever he was planning to talk about.

“Something wrong, Pap?”

“Well... I wanted to ask you about it back in the lab, but…”

“Yeah, I noticed.”

 Papyrus’ expression was so serious and troubled, he even ignored the pirate's comforting smile. 

“Yes. I'm sorry it took so long. I wasn't sure if you wanted to talk in front of anyone. But I'm still a little worried, so…”

“Well, if something bothers you, just say it. I don’t mind any questions from you.”

“Mm-hmm, okay,” Papyrus sighed. “So, I wanted to ask you... how long have you had that scar?”

The… scar?

“Um. From the beginning? I mean…” the pirate said in confusion. What about their conversation in the rain zone? Papyrus didn't suffer from memory loss, that's for sure. Had Lars accidentally broken something…?

“No, I'm pretty sure I've never seen it before!” The skeleton shook his head and moved a little closer, peering anxiously into his face again.

He wasn't talking about the scar that crossed Lars’ eye?

“Here, on your cheek! It looks old, I know, but… I don't really remember it.”

Lars slowly raised his hand to his face. Goosebumps ran down his spine as he felt a thin line of the scar across his cheek. A wound he had definitely avoided this time. There could be no mistake! He had knocked down every arrow, dodged every lunge, there was no doubt about it! 

It’s impossible…

“Oh. this one? N-no, it was here all along. You probably just weren't paying attention! It's almost invisible… under certain lighting…” 

Lars did his best to smile calmly. It's just another scar, what's to worry? Surely there must be some explanation… But he'll find it later.

“It's a pretty funny story, you know? When I was a kid I was… um… headbutted by a goat.”

Chapter Text

The scar on the cheek wasn't the only surprise. A little later, Lars discovered another one on his body: a huge ugly scar on his chest, just below another, much older scar he'd received in Homeworld. And if Lars took the pale scar on his cheek philosophically, this one almost made him furious. The last thing he needed was the eternal memory of the excruciating pain he'd felt as the prickly vine had worked its way out through his ribs and lungs. And even less he needed to remember who had left that scar!

But there was nothing to do. Well, the good thing was that he still heard nothing from Flowey since their last meeting, and soon he was no longer anxious to look around corners, to avoid every door and window in Papyrus and Sans' house, and react inappropriately to anything that had yellow color. Memories of past experiences dulled over time, too… 

Besides, the question of his return home was much more important now. But the bridge was still being repaired, and Undyne was still poking around in maps…  Well, at least Sans and Alphys had some good news for him: about the radio, that would be ready any day now! That certainly warmed Lars' spirit. He could relax a little, waiting for things to get moving… 

Today, however, he was not destined to relax, because for some reason Papyrus had not given up on the idea of making Lars and Undyne best friends. Turned out that all this time he had been looking for a suitable excuse to spend time together – unfortunately for Lars. Not like he didn't like her at all! Actually, he thought she's pretty cool… But the two of them certainly had nothing in common! Lars tried to explain it to Papyrus, but in the end, tired of arguing, he gave up. And before he knew it, came the fateful day for the two of them to go to Waterfall.

“Still, Pap. Are you absolutely sure that we have to go? Maybe we should turn back before it's too late…”

“What are you talking about? It's already too late to turn back!" Papyrus said cheerfully, deliberately ignoring the pirate's frown. “Don't be so worried, Lars. Undyne is an awful lot of fun!”

Yeah, the emphasis on "awful". Papyrus repeated it so many times, but it still didn't make Lars feel any better about the idea…

“Besides, you and Undyne never got any chance to hang out together. And I really want you two to become friends!”

“But we already kinda get along, didn’t we?” Lars mumbled. That was partly true. They were not best friends, of course. But Undyne was clearly no longer planning a brutal massacre followed by the removal of his precious soul…  And Lars was fine with that, really! A monster not trying to kill him was already his friend.

“Yeah, but…  not really. I think she's still suspicious of you,” Papyrus slowed his pace a little, then turned to face the pirate and clasped his hands with an imploring gesture. “Please, Lars! Just think about how cool it would be to become friends with Undyne! When you’ll have such a super-cool trustworthy friend like her, you'll never have to be afraid of anything again! And how many adventures you can have together…  Come on! Do it in the name of friendship!”

“In the name of what, now?”

The sound of footsteps bouncing from wall to wall suddenly faded. Lars walked past Papyrus then stopped, put his hands behind his head and turned around to face him again. Well, that was a mistake… 

“Then! Then… Then could you do it for me, maybe?” the skeleton asked quietly, with a sad expression on his face.

“I…”

“Please. Please, please, please, please! I'll never ask you for anything again, I promise!”

“Shit,” the pirate muttered under his breath and lowered his hands, feeling defeated. “It's against the rules, dude. I mean, how can I say no to you now?”

“So you'll do it?” Papyrus' face instantly brightened and Lars realized he just fell for the simplest trap. Well, fine! Fine. One night with a killer fish shouldn't turn into a disaster! Right?

“You're such a manipulator, Pap, you know that?”

“Manipulator? Me?”

Lars laughed at how innocent that sounded, and finally continued on his way.

“Don't sweat it, I’m just joking. Though, come to think of it, there is some percentage of truth…”

“Okay, let's keep it that way. But I'm doing it for your own good, Lars!” Papyrus caught up with him, hooking his arms around pitare’s elbow. “Friends should care for each other, you know?”

“Oh, is that caring? I thought it’s called driving to suicide.”

“Spending a couple of hours with Undyne is not suicide!”

“You don't even believe yourself!" Lars turned to him, trying to hold back a sly smile. “What was that nervous chuckle just now, huh?”

“I don't have the slightest idea what you're talking about!”

They continued walking, playfully arguing with each other, as the space around them darkened and colored with neon. The sound of water echoed everywhere, reverberating off the walls and returning in faint echoes. Grass and flowers rose up through the road and rustled underfoot. It could have been a pleasant morning stroll if only it hadn't been for the real challenge at the end.

Soon they were forced to stop walking. Right in front of them was a wide, dark river. There were no bridges or any workarounds. Pirate tsked as he realized there was no way to keep his feet dry.

Unless…

“Let's go!” Papyrus stepped forward but Lars stopped him again.

“Wait a second. I want to check something first.”

With those words, he released his hand from the skeleton's tight grip and bent down to roll his jeans up almost to his knees. Then he stood on the edge of the shore and took a couple of deep breaths, folding his arms together, like he was going to have a meditation session here. Papyrus watched him with great interest, but remained silent – and after just a minute he gasped in surprise when Lars stepped onto the river and remained standing on it, as if it was covered by a thick invisible layer of ice.

“Wowie! You can walk on water!”

“Huh. Yeah, I guess I can,” Lars grinned. Apparently, some of his tricks still worked! He could only hope there was no time limit on this ability now. “So. How about I carry you? It would be faster, and you wouldn't get your boots wet.”

“Are you sure?” Papyrus seemed surprised by the suggestion.

“Of course! You think I'm offering it out of politeness?” Lars snorted, then leaned over so the skeleton could climb onto his back. Fortunately, he didn't have to ask Papyrus twice.

“You're sure I'm not too heavy?” 

The question made Lars chuckle – he was about to say otherwise! Papyrus actually was almost weightless, a backpack would be heavier than him! But that wasn't surprising. There's nothing but bones in him!

“I'm afraid you're too light for me, Pap. Don't let the wind blow you away.”

The skeleton wrapped his arms around his shoulders, apparently taking the warning seriously. Making sure he was comfortable, Lars took another step, checking to see if he stood firmly on the water, then walked forward. Papyrus was looking down in amazement, hardly breathing. Was this really the first time he had ever seen anything like this?

“That's so cool… What a useful ability! Have you always been able to do that?”

“No, it was a bonus to my pink skin,” the pirate laughed. “Can't Undyne do that? Don’t get me wrong, she just looks like someone quite capable of such a trick.”

“Undyne's magic is a different kind, but I'm not sure I can explain it. Maybe you should have a chat about it with Alphys. She's very well versed in the types and nature of monster magic!”

Lars shrugged. Maybe he'll ask Alphys about it later. It actually could be quite interesting.

“Well, what's the nature of your magic? You'd know that, wouldn't you?”

“My magic is blue!” Papyrus answered proudly. “It means I can manipulate gravity and… Well. There's actually nothing to tell, you've already seen everything…”

“Yeah, but I didn't understand much. So I'll be glad to hear your presentation.”

The pirate paused, waiting for a reaction, but for some reason Papyrus left the question hanging. Perhaps he was just thinking?

***

Lars continued walking, listening to the splash of water beneath his feet. Other sounds came from somewhere in the distance – the wind walking through the corridors, the drops falling to the ground and forming stalagmites. A whisper of the echo flower lost in the middle of the water. Every new trip to Waterfall was a lot of unforgettable experiences. Lars involuntarily wondered how long it would take him to explore the whole dungeon? And how much time did he still have left to spare? Maybe if he won’t waste time sleeping, then…

Suddenly a quiet voice interrupted his thoughts.

“Lars, can I tell you something?”

What were they talking about…? Eh, whatever.

“Sure, Pap, go ahead.”

“There's one thing that's been on my mind for a long time already. Actually, the truth is… I mean…”

The skeleton took a deep breath, clearly setting himself up for a difficult conversation. Lars couldn't imagine what made him think of something so unpleasant that it was hard to just start talking. But he remained silent, patiently waiting for Papyrus to gather his thoughts.

“I don't know how to put it. Promise me you won't get mad, okay?” Papyrus sighed once more and continued without waiting for an answer. “You see, I've always sincerely believed that humans are… very evil and dishonest. Everyone's said so. King Asgore, Undyne, even Sans! Well, Sans mostly told me to be careful around humans… But still, I thought that should be the position of all monsters! Especially those who were about to become a part of the Royal Guard. So I... I thought the same of you the first time we met. I'm sorry…”

“Don't apologize for that, Pap, you didn't know me back then. If I were you, I'd hit me with a brick! Believe me, you were too polite,” Lars responded with a chuckle. “And besides, I agree with Sans. There are indeed some people who shouldn't be trusted. I'd even say there are a lot of assholes in the world who don't deserve your kindness! So yeah, you should have been careful. If it hadn't been me who got here, but someone who really wanted to hurt you…”

That's where the pirate suddenly stopped. He didn't even want to start thinking about it.

“Ah… I'm sorry, I interrupted you. Please go on.”

“No, it’s okay, I just… I just wanted to say,” Papyrus took a deep breath again, “the more I got to know you, the more confused I was. Like, should I treat you like an enemy or a friend? It would seem that I have a reason to do both! I had never encountered anything like that before, and frankly, I even tried to convince myself that you were just trying to trick me by acting so nice and friendly! But… Come to think of it, even your reaction after our fight totally threw me off balance…”

“My reaction?” Lars pursed his lips and thought. It seems so long ago, like a different lifetime… But whatever he'd done there, it wasn't a bad thing, considering it ended up with their friendship, right?

“When Undyne asked me why I was protecting you, it took me a while to find the right answer,” Papyrus admitted. Lars felt his thin fingers dug deeper into his arms, and his voice was barely audible, as if he was trying to speak with his face buried in a pillow. Well, it was about right, except he had Lars’ shoulder instead of a pillow. “First I told her that I didn't think it was fair. But the truth is… it's a lot more selfish…”

“Pap. Whatever your reason is, you don't have to justify yourself for it. You don't have to explain anything to anyone.”

“No,” Papyrus shook his head. “I'm sorry, Lars, but I can’t agree with you there. Monsters or humans, everyone has a right to know. And withholding the truth can cause irreparable consequences. That's why… That time, when I went to Undyne alone, I said that I wasn't honest with her. The reason I'm defending you is because I believe… you're a good human.”

Lars’ heart sank. He'd heard those words before… In another timeline. In another place. When it made him feel like the biggest bastard in the world…

“You deserve the right to be saved. Not only because I consider you a friend! But because you, of all humans, are the only one who decided to show us mercy.”

“Papyrus, that's…”

“You know, I've been meaning to ask you for a long time. Were you pretending… while we were fighting?”

“What do you even mean?!” Lars exclaimed indignantly. “I didn't have to pretend! You were much stronger than me and that’s why… That’s why I lost…”

Finally, they came to the edge of the river. Lars stopped on the shore and carefully set Papyrus on the ground. The skeleton stood silent, staring thoughtfully into the distance. Maybe, just change the subject? 

“Hey…”

“Maybe I was stronger than you,” Papyrus interrupted. “But that doesn't change the fact that you still had a chance to kill me. It was a question of taking it or not…”

“Only a real bastard would do such a thing!” Lars almost spat the words out. Strangely enough, his sharp reaction brought a genuine smile to the skeleton's face. 

“That's what separates you from these humans. Well, I can't judge them, because I wasn't there… But I can speak for you! I can make the decision to defend you! Even if it's selfish and goes against everything I've been taught, I want you to live. To get back to your friends and your adventures. Because, you see… I have a feeling it's the right thing to do.”

With each word Papyrus’ smile grew wider, and by the end he magically returned to the mood with which he had left his home in Snowdin. Lars rubbed the back of his neck, feeling ridiculously awkward. He didn't even know what to say to all this… But apparently his friend wasn't expecting him to say anything special.

“Hey, don't push yourself too hard. You'll thank me later, when we find a way to get you out of here!” Papyrus grabbed him by the arm and dragged him down the next corridor. “Oh, and let’s have a good time today, okay?”

“Yeah… Whatever you say, Pap,” Lars sighed, unable to wipe the smile off his face. “But if I won't make it out of this meeting alive, my ghost will haunt you forever!”

“If it’s your ghost, that’s okay!” the skeleton laughed.

“You sure? I can be pretty spooky ghost, you know…”

Lars slowed down a bit, forcing Papyrus to drag him with force. From here he could already see the lights of the village where Undyne lived, and there was absolutely no going back now… Well. If Papyrus really needed him to become friends with her, fine. Lars will do his best.

Chapter Text

Lars felt out of place. As he stood in front of the door of Undyne's house, he actually believed that everything would go perfectly, and his mood somehow improved. But now that they were inside, his chest tightened again with anxiety. A creeping shyness brought back memories of the times when his parents had dragged him as a child to visit their friends - strangers for him, in whose company he cannot relax. And though Undyne was clearly trying to act friendly, the strained smile gave her away. At some point Lars realized that they both were doing it for Papyrus. That wasn't a bad reason, honestly… But it wouldn't get them very far, that's for sure.

“Would you like something to drink, maybe?”

The pirate actually thought about it too. Something alcoholic would definitely break the ice. They're all adults here, aren't they? Okay, google, how to ask a skeleton about his age?

“I have, uh… soda, cocoa, or tea.”

Dammit!

“Tea would be nice, thank you,” Lars blurted out. Undyne's face brightened a little, so he could tell it was the right choice. She nodded with visible relief, turned to the cabinets, and rummaged through them: a glass jar with tea leaves, a small teapot, and three fish-shaped mugs dropped onto the countertop. Generally speaking, Lars had been impressed by Undyne’s house right from the start. The nautical-themed dishes, the calm wave-colored walls, the carpet that looked like a field of tangled seaweed… And her house itself looked like a huge monster fish from the outside, with its mouth stretched out in a frightening grin! Isn't that cool? Lars would have liked a house like that. But so far he didn't have a house of his own, only a spaceship, and it was currently empty without a captain.

“The water is boiling. It's going to take a while,” the amphibia informed, returning to her guests. Lars shuddered nervously, and glanced at Papyrus, hoping that he would take over the conversation. In fact, Papyrus did, without waiting for his pleading gaze. Though it couldn't last forever: Lars understood that he would have to recall all his few social skills. But, really, what's there to talk about with a girl who was going to kill him just a few days ago?!

Half-listening to their casual chitchat, Lars was turning the gears in his head as hard as he could. He needed some neutral topic of conversation, something that could take at least half the time. Otherwise he would just sit here doing absolutely nothing useful. He had promised that he would make friends with Undyne, so he must at least try!

“So you're teaching Papyrus how to cook, right?”

The pause didn't last more than ten seconds before Lars asked the question. And most importantly, it was perfect timing – just before that, the skeleton said something about his successes in cooking. It looked almost like a smooth transition from one topic to another! And no one would guess that Lars was not really listening to these two, but was sitting there like an idiot, thinking of an appropriate phrase…

“Yeah, a little,” Undyne said, shrugging her shoulders. If she thinks he'll be satisfied with such a short answer, she has to think again!

“That's cool. And quite unexpected. You don't strike me as the type to stand at the stove.”

“Really? Well, you don't strike me as the type to jump very far,” she replied, clearly alluding to his recent unrealistic jump on the bridge that had saved both their lives. Lars couldn't resist an awkward chuckle. Not that he wanted it to be mentioned too often…

“But yeah, cooking can be pretty fun. As much as a good physical workout! Don't you agree, Pap?”

“Oh, yes!” the skeleton nodded. “Especially with your special cooking style!”

“Special cooking style?” Lars repeated, looking at him questioningly.

“Undyne doesn't like to spend a long time cooking, so she's always looking for a way to speed up the process. Sometimes it gets pretty extreme…”

Lars shifted his gaze from Papyrus to Undyne, and, noticing this, she immediately gave him a toothy grin. Intriguing. And how could the process of cooking be extreme? No, Lars didn't consider himself an expert in all areas of cooking, but still… Was there something he didn't know about?

“Well, you know. Ingredients flying around the kitchen, explosions, fires… Long story.”

“Explosions? Fires?”

The kettle's high-pitched screech interrupted him, and Undyne got up and started to make tea. The pirate watched her, frowning, as if he expected her to do something that would set off explosions and fires right now. But his fears were unfounded: Undyne merely put tea leaves into the kettle, poured boiling water over them, and soon a surprisingly pleasant aroma slowly went through the room. It was slightly sweet and warm and cozy, like a lazy summer evening. Lars didn't recognize it right away.

“Is it… honey?”

“It does smell like honey, doesn't it? If brewed at the right temperature and in the right pot, golden flower tea always exudes a honey smell. I haven't made it in a long time, but… it's nice to know I haven't forgotten.”

“I see…”

“Golden flower tea? It's King Asgore's favorite kind!” Papyrus remarked. “Do you like it too, Undyne?”

“Well. Sort of.”

Lars noticed the soft smile that appeared on her face at the mention of the King, and something in that expression reminded him again of Steven and his gem friends… He hadn't given it much thought before, but come to think of it, when it came to Steven, the same warmth was evident even in Garnet's smile. It was almost impossible for the others to get even a faint smirk out of her. It wasn't hard to to draw a parallel here. So, whoever this King Asgore is, he must be very important to the captain of his guard, who was jealously protecting his laws, his kin, and was willing to do anything to do his bidding. Probably even the genocide of an entire race if she had to…

He was distracted from his thoughts by the thud of the tray dropping onto the low wooden table in front of them. The formidable captain of the Royal Guard smiled lightly, handing one of the steaming cups to Lars. It was hard to imagine her as an emotionless killing machine now.

“Here you go. I hope you’ll like it. And don't worry, there's no poison in it.”

“Yeah? Now that you mention it…”

“Look, poison isn't my style. If I wanted to kill you, I'd do it with that sword!”

Undyne snorted mockingly and nodded toward the wall, where a sword of truly enormous proportions hung on four powerful hooks. It caught Lars' attention from the start, making him wonder again how much power lurked in this girl. If she could hold such a thing in her hands…

“Don't mind her, Lars, she's joking! This sword is here only for decoration.”

“You can kill a human with a decorative shelf, if you’re skilled enough," she said calmly, sipping her tea. “It’s fine, don’t worry, drink your tea. Just be careful, it's pretty hot.”

The pirate glanced uncertainly at his reflection in the cup. The tea glowed with a pure golden hue, and its honeyed scent enveloped him warmly. Perfect thing after a trip through the damp, drafty caves. Waterfall's magical appearance certainly won his heart – but his health wouldn't thank him… Well, maybe he really should give it a try…

“Just drink it already!!!”

Being caught off guard by the shout, Lars took a quick sip and immediately regretted it. No, there was no poison in it, and the tea was delicious indeed… It was just that Undyne’s notion of hot probably oscillated somewhere between the temperature of the Sun and lava. His throat, scalded by the boiling water, went numb for a second.

“That's better! Are you convinced yet? I'm not going to freaking poison you!”

No poisoning, but boiling to death… Lars nodded silently, trying to come to his senses after his first sip of tea. From now on, he would definitely blow on any suspicious drinks to cool it down before starting to drink them.

“So, um… What's the deal with the extreme style of cooking anyway?” he decided to return to the previous topic, not sure he could handle a new one. Especially since he was actually getting curious.

“Oh, that. Didn't Pap tell you?”

“No, actually, it was Sans who blabbed to me about your activities. Papyrus talks about as much as a fish… I-I mean…”

“It seems you talk to Sans too much,” Undyne hid an unkind smile behind her cup. Apparently Papyrus shared her feelings.

“Yeah, you are starting to tell more and more puns each day. Lars, I'm getting worried…”

Wow, look who's talking!

“Hey, that came out completely by accident! I swear I wasn't planning on saying anything like that…”

“It's even worse then,” the skeleton made a sour face. “Turns out it's contagious…”

“Dude!”

“Back to your question…” Undyne tapped the cup with her finger. “We could do a kind of cooking class right now, if you want. You'll see everything for yourself.”

She then put her cup on the table and grinned widely, a sadistic twinkle in her eye. Lars turned to her with a thoughtful look. He actually liked the idea, but what were his chances of survival? He remembered well enough about explosions and fires. It would be a shame to die in someone's kitchen, especially after what he'd been through in Hotland…

But before he could decide, Papyrus answered for both of them:

“That's a great idea, Undyne! Cooking together is the perfect way to have fun!”

“All my ideas are great, aren’t they?” the amphibia snickered.

Оh. Lars could argue with that.

“Lars, you don't mind, do you?”

“Who, me? Are you kidding? I'm all for it, you know.”

Even in spite of his own ironic voice, the pirate liked the idea. Anything was better than doing nothing. He could only hold a long conversation with a few select individuals, but he could cook in any company! In the meantime, Undyne slipped out from the table and began rummaging through cabinets and the refrigerator. As he sipped his tea, Lars watched the pile of ingredients up on the countertop. A package of noodles, tomatoes, cheese… Some herbs, spices…

“Pasta?” his voice became husky as he immediately got flashbacks. But Papyrus, who was sitting next to him, perked up.

“Pasta, of course! Shall we try that recipe again? You liked it the last time, didn't you, Lars?”

The silence could not have been more eloquent…

“How about we experiment a little? Add some hot spice, for instance,” Undyne picked up a little jar with a sticker of red pepper on it. Seeing Lars' complex facial expression, and making some conclusions for herself, she added, “This is all I have in my kitchen at the moment. And it's the only dish I've taught Papyrus so far.”

“Well, if that's the case…”

Lars finished the rest of the tea in a gulp, set the empty cup on the table, stood up and rolled up the sleeves. He hadn't cooked pasta in a long time – more accurately, he hadn't cooked anything for a long time. Neither his crew nor himself needed to eat, so there was no point in standing at the stove. He even missed doing it… so why not take the opportunity to reminisce about the old days?

“I'll use this as an opportunity to show you the perfect pasta!”

“You? Show me the perfect pasta?!” Undyne burst out laughing. “HA! Don't get cocky before your time, punk. I was doing this shit when you were still wearing diapers!”

With those words, she slammed her fist on the table – the tomatoes bounced and rolled across the countertop. Lars walked up to the table just in time to catch them before they hit the floor.

“So, let’s start with the sauce. A good, thick sauce is half the battle, you agree?”

“Absolutely, even I couldn't have said it better," the pirate replied, while turning his head around, examining all the walls and shelves. Undyne watched him for a moment before asking:

“Did you lose something?”

“Yeah, where do you keep your knives? Or you want me to cut vegetables with the sword?”

Lars suddenly caught her puzzled gaze on him. Papyrus, standing between them, lifted his shoulders and squeezed his eyes shut, evidently already guessing what was to follow… What, time to hide?

“Why on earth would you need knives? Let’s just…”

Undyne took a swing and… the sudden rumble made the pirate shudder with his whole body and cover his face with his hands. With a powerful blow the girl smashed tomatoes and carrots on the tabletop, scraps immediately splattered all over the kitchen. A real bloody mess… Lowering his hands, Lars looked around the scene, while Undyne, quite pleased with herself, explained:

“There's nothing like beating the crap out of vegetables with your own hands! It's quick, fun, and makes the sauce especially tender.”

“Oh… I see? Sounds pretty extreme tho…” the pirate glanced over to Papyrus, who was picking bits of vegetable out of his hair. Now all his clothes are splattered… She could’ve given him an apron… or a shield!

“Okay, looks like we took care of that. Now…”

“Hey, whoa! What the hell are you doing?”

“I’m scraping the sauce into the pot. Why?”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WHY?!” he shouted. “With all the twigs and peels?!”

“Don't you have teeth? They're not so hard to chew,” Undyne pointedly scooped up everything from the table and set the pot aside. The cook in Lars' soul shrieked with horror at this disaster. Only a rotten sprig of dill was missing for effect!

“But you can't seriously expect THIS to pass as a normal sauce!”

“Don't criticize me yet. Wait until i start frying!”

What the… was she mocking him? The pirate squinted his eyes. He heard Papyrus’ muffled chuckle – it seemed to amuse him. Well, that’s good, of course, but…

“Unbelievable. This is the most uncaring attitude to cooking I've ever seen…”

“Well, congrats on your first day!”

“Why don't you let Lars demonstrate his way of cooking first?” Papyrus suddenly suggested. He tilted his head sideways, noticing a missing piece of vegetable on Undyne’s shirt, and carefully removed it. “I think he's used to… traditional cooking. Besides, he has his own bakery shop on his home planet! I think we could learn a lot from him.”

Nice try, but it clearly won’t work. With her arms folded on her chest, Undyne gave the pirate a long, skeptical look. Lars didn't even dare expect her to let him take over her kitchen, especially after the scathing criticism at the beginning… But once again, he was wrong about her: after only a minute, Undyne smiled, revealing a row of sharp shark teeth, and replied:

“Why not? Go ahead, make yourself at home.”

“What? Really?” the pirate blinked, glancing at Papyrus just in case he was sending him a secret message in morse code. Meanwhile, the amphibia stepped aside and leaned against the table, generously giving him more room.

“Of course! Anything for the dearest guests.”

“Okay, then… I need a big knife, a board, a deep pan, and something to stir the vegetables with.”

“Wow. That already sounds sooo fun…”

Lars silently grasped the knife Papyrus handed him. He would show her the real cooking! He'd been experimenting with sauces since he was a kid, so it should be easy.

“So, the main thing is to rinse the tomatoes with boiling water to make it easier to remove the skin. Tomato sauce is a great idea, it's quite capable of complementing any dish, but a tough peel can ruin everything. Also, do you have, like, basil?”

While the generously oiled frying pan heated up over medium heat, Lars quickly prepared and chopped up all the remaining vegetables – and when he was done, he spiced up the oil and began frying. Soon the kitchen was filled with the aroma and Lars' enthusiastic voice answering questions from Papyrus, who was hanging around to help. It had been a long time since Lars had felt like a chef giving a lesson. He mentally agreed with the skeleton's earlier statement – cooking together really is fun!

Undyne, on the other hand, watched his actions without any vivid emotion. Except that she yawned a couple of times in the process.

“Well done, dude, you spent more time on the sauce alone than I do on the whole dish.”

Lars gasped for air, “What did you just say?”

“And what was the point of cutting the vegetables in such small pieces? I can't even see that under a microscope.”

“You shouldn't be able to feel chunks of vegetables in the sauce, it's a sauce! Do you even know what is… Hey, where's the pepper?”

Without looking, Undyne snatched a jar of hot spice from the shelf and threw it right into his hands.

“It's a shame to waste such a cool spice on this crap.”

“You'll take your words back when you try it,” Lars grinned triumphantly in advance. “You'll see!”

He could have been unsure of anything: whether he made any decisions, whether he deserved to carry the title of captain, whether he remembered the multiplication table correctly, after all. But never when it came to the food he cooked, especially since he was no longer afraid to experiment and trusted his taste! And yet, that confidence alone was not enough to impress Undyne. Rolling her eyes to the ceiling, she walked past him, slapping him on the back so that his insides swayed, hitting his ribcage.

“Yeah, yeah, we'll see about that. Have fun. Meanwhile, Papyrus and I will be making noodles. Pap, get the pot over here!”

“Wait, a min-”

“Yes, Undyne!”

The skeleton nearly stunned his friend with his joyful exclamation. He ducked down and, in a few seconds, pulled out a large pot with soot stains all over the bottom and began to fill it with tap water. At the same time, Undyne took a packet of noodles from the table and, tearing it up with her teeth, poured the entire contents into the pot at once. As the pot sank onto the stove, the pirate tensed, casting suspicious glances at the girl.

He hadn't seen the fires yet, had he?

“Hm? Is something wrong?”

“Uh, no… Everything is great, thank you.”

“Alrighty then! Pap, will you stir the noodles while I tidy up here a bit? And don't forget to watch the fire.”

“Sure, no problem!” Papyrus took a wooden spoon from the table and stood at the stove next to Lars, gently stirring the contents. Undyne smiled broadly again before she slipped past them, ignoring the pirate who had been still watching her. He was afraid to jinx it, but it seemed to be going pretty well. And Papyrus was pleased – he even was humming merrily. Lars exhaled with relief and finally allowed himself to relax. Even his movements became smoother, and he got in the mood to shake the frying pan to flip the sauce on it. It would be even tastier when fried on all sides!

“Having a good time?” he asked, leaning closer to Papyrus. The skeleton shoved him away.

“Lars, I'm busy! You're the professional chef here, who's allowed to be distracted in the process, but I don't want to mess up…”

The pirate laughed softly, but still took the compliment.

“There's nothing to worry about, you've got it all covered! By the way, do you want to know the best way to tell if pasta is ready? It's easy.”

“Really? Well, then…”

But before Papyrus could finish the sentence, Undyne’s voice suddenly came from behind them:

“That won't do, you’ll spend all day doing that. Full power, Pap!”

“Wait, what do you mean, full-”

***

It happened fast: Undyne appeared between them, like a sudden gust of hurricane wind in the middle of a sunny day, and twisted the knob on the stove. Something rattled inside. Lars dropped the frying pan from his hands and managed to pull back in seconds, covering both monsters as the flames erupted. A wave of almost unbearable heat swept across his face, and part of the stove and the pan were engulfed instantly in bright tongues of fire – so strong that the edges reached the ceiling.

The noise of the burner hit his ears. His whole life flew before his eyes as the pirate stared dumbfoundedly at the blackened pot in the flames. And it might have gone on long enough if Undyne hadn't reached out and twisted the knob back. The noise ceased, and in the silence Lars could hear the wall clock tapping away at the seconds of his still-ongoing life.

“Oops.”

“Oops?”

The contents of the pot hissed like a snake's nest. 

“WHAT THE HELL DOES THIS "OOPS" MEAN?! YOU ALMOST BURNED US ALL, YOU LUNATIC!”

“Actually, I had everything under control until you shoved us away from the stove,” Undyne said calmly. Lars could clearly feel his face burning with anger.

“You call THIS under control?!”

“Don't worry so much, Lars,” Papyrus patted him gently on the shoulder, trying to calm him down. “This fire is perfectly safe for the monsters… We probably should have told you that.”

“PROBABLY?!”

“We haven't tested it on humans yet, tho," Undyne laughed. Lars couldn't find anything to say to that – the raging emotions inside him on one side and the absolute impassivity from her on the other just tore him apart! Why is everyone who isn't Papyrus or Alphys always trying to kill him and then acting like it's just a silly joke?!

“If you don't take cooking more seriously, one day you'll burn your house down!”

“Don't worry about that, I have a backup plan in case that happens. And the house can always be rebuilt!”

“The fu-”

“Oh, no, Lars. Your sauce…”

Distracted by Papyrus' voice the pirate looked around. Right… That was probably the worst part. His amazing tomato sauce was now an artistic smudge on the walls and ceiling of the house. A fun design, but… He wanted to see Undyne’s reaction so bad!

Well, next time, then… Lars took a deep breath, assessing the mess.

“I wonder what the noodles had turned into?”

“Oh, it’s fine!” Undyne waved her hand. “See for yourself…”

All three of them cautiously approached the stove and peered into the pot, blackened by the burning. "Fine" was a strong word. Although, if their goal was to cook charcoal instead of pasta, then yes, it was fine.

“I'm no expert, but I think it's all burned up,” Lars muttered.

“Haven't you ever heard of black pasta?”

“I have. But that's not how it's made.”

“What about noodle chips?”

“Oh, there's no such thing as noodle chips! Just admit it, you've ruined the whole meal!”

Undyne looked back at him and frowned, her hands to her hips.

“Geez, you are so boring! Pap, is your new friend always such a bore?”

The skeleton took his eyes off the embers in the pot and thought for a moment. Judging by the changing expression on his face, he was leaning more and more toward the positive answer…

“PAP!!”

“What? You're really nagging a lot…”

Undyne barely kept a serious look on her face while Lars, insulted, glared at Papyrus with angry eyes, forcing him to bury his head deeper and deeper into his scarf. But apparently she found the picture too amusing to hold back for long. Lars gave her a hurt look, but then smiled and laughed too. 

And the price was one ruined dinner and someone's destroyed kitchen…

Chapter Text

“…Are you telling me you don't always cook like this?”

“What do you take me for? Of course I don't! I was just messing with you, you jerk!”

Undyne threw a wet rag at the pirate. Luckily, it didn't hit its target, but instead plunged straight into the bucket of water, splashing it everywhere and flooding the floor. Lars grinned maliciously.

“Nice throw, loser.”

“I wasn't planning to actually hit you,” she responded nonchalantly as she reached for a new rag. But when she got back to the wall, she suddenly changed from anger to mercy, lighting up her face with a wide smile. “Though Pap wasn't exaggerating when he talked about ingredients flying around the kitchen, you know.”

“I wasn't kidding about the fires, either! It's not the first time I'm scraping soot off a ceiling,” the skeleton’s voice came from the stepladder. “It's just that she doesn't usually do it on purpose…”

“I was just trying to make a good impression!”

A chuckle burst from the pirate's chest. Cleaning up the mess they'd made, they were already talking like longtime friends, and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't happy about it. Not just because it was so good for Papyrus – Lars himself felt so much better when the ice between him and Undyne finally cracked. It was nice to know that there was one less monster in the Underground who wanted to kill him. Besides, making new friends always feels good! And though the thought seemed partly insane, if his crew members and billions of unexplored stars and planets weren't waiting for him outside… Lars wouldn't mind staying in here for another week or two.

“Okay, that's it,” he ran the dry towel over the stove one last time. It was shiny as new, and one couldn't tell that it had been covered in soot just some time ago. Well, no wonder, because Lars knew as much about cleaning as he did about cooking! After a good look at the clean stove, he threw the towel over his shoulder and stepped up to Undyne, who was vigorously trying to erase the red stain from the wall.

“Need a hand?”

“Nah, relax, you've done enough already… Actually, that's enough cleaning for today! A little repair will fix the rest.”

With these words, the amphibia threw a second rag into the bucket and started to stretch her shoulders and neck. Except for the pale traces of soot on the ceiling and the red sauce on the wall, the kitchen was just fine. Looking pretty pleased with work they had done, Undyne tilted her head back, focusing her vision on the skeleton who was still engrossed in the cleanup.

“Pap, get down from there,” she walked over to the stepladder and shook it slightly. This maneuver caused Papyrus to shift his leg just a little to keep his balance, but he didn't even think of distracting himself from his important task.

“In a minute, Undyne, let me just finish…”

“Finish what? There's nothing left to clean!”

“Almost done…”

The girl made an expressionless face. Lars' sudden presentiments had not deceived him: a second later, with a fleeting glance at the leg of the stepladder, Undyne kicked it with her boot, causing it to fold in half and drop the skeleton down. Lars flinched, but obviously his involvement was unnecessary: Undyne caught Papyrus in her arms without blinking an eye, then placed him gently on the floor. It all happened so quickly, so casually, and, judging by Papyrus' unimpressed look, it happened to him quite often.

“Dude, I don't need the house to shine like a royal castle! You're always overdoing it.”

“I'm not overdoing it! There’s still some soot left…” the skeleton muttered, eyeing the unfinished work with regret. Undyne poked his shoulder.

“To me, the ceiling looks perfectly clean from here. You did a great job! And even if there's anything left, a couple of strokes of paint will cover it up. Right?” she turned to Lars, obviously looking for support. Well, there really wasn't much to argue about – they'd already gone on long enough with all the cleaning. He had nothing to complain about, though.

“I'd already forgotten where exactly the stain was. And I, unlike some, have both my eyes…”

Undyne grinned, nodding in agreement. Papyrus stubbornly continued to protest even after that, so Lars simply took him under his arm and pulled toward himself, ignoring the weak resistance. That's okay, once they got out on that cool trail of lights and Lars would distract him with stories about the stars, he'd stop sulking right away.

“Come on, Pap, we really should be going. Sorry again for ruining the kitchen, Undyne.”

“Oh, please,” she snorted. “Most of this is my fault. And I haven't apologized for your sauce yet, by the way.”

“Don't worry about it. Just let me cook something else next time.”

“What, you want to do this again sometime?”

The pirate smiled and shrugged. Papyrus also looked questioningly at him – he didn't seem to expect Lats to enjoy cooking with Undyne so much to repeat it.

“Well, I said you'd take your words back after you try my cooking. Besides, I really miss this stuff. My crew doesn't need the food, and cooking for myself alone is boring, so… I want to do it as much as possible while I'm stuck here!”

“Ah. That…”

Lars raised an eyebrow, unable to hide his surprise. What was that? Somehow the smile vanished from Undyne’s face after these words, her impeccable posture changed as well, and her bold gaze became cloudy, as if she had just heard some very bad news. And it happened so suddenly… Had he said something wrong? Did he do something wrong? But Lars didn't get a chance to ask - soon Undyne broke the heavy silence herself:

“So you're still planning on leaving…”

“What do you mean?” he blurted out in a daze. What kind of question is that?! “Of course I'm planning to! What, did we abandon the idea of trying to find a way to the king's castle?”

“You do remember your promise to look at the maps, Undyne? Right?” Papyrus asked gently. Scared to hear a much darker answer than a simple "I forgot," Lars tensed up beforehand. But Undyne suddenly twitched as if scalded by boiling water, and immediately straightened up, giving her face an indignant expression.

“Of course I remember! I just… I didn't think, after all that had happened, he'd still be determined to leave! You know what we'll all have to deal with in that case…”

Undyne turned toward the pirate before she could finish, but there was no trace of the hatred or contempt in her eye that he had somehow expected. It was a look that expressed a far more complex emotion… One thing Lars could say with certainty was that no one had ever looked at him that way before.

“Stop talking in riddles, Undyne,” he tried to hide the worried tremor in his voice behind a stupid nervous chuckle. “I'm not the smartest guy in the world, even if I suddenly gave that impression. Please explain, what does all this even mean?”

The question made her frown strangely. An anxious silence arose again between them, until Undyne slowly turned to the skeleton and said:

“Papyrus. Didn't you tell him. What he had to do to get out of here?”

“Of course I did! Only the possessor of a strong soul can pass through the barrier – just as the legend says! And only humans have a soul strong enough for that. Everyone knows that!” Papyrus spoke up in passionate voice, as if trying to cover insecurity. At the same time he kept glancing from Undyne to Lars, which made clear he had no idea what the problem was… Lars’ insides seemed to shrivel with uncertainty, he was ready to scream and demand a momentary explanation, but instead he just stared deeper into the amphibia's eye, holding his breath. His hope of returning home was ready to be shattered into tiny shards.

“Strange, I thought… I was sure you knew, Pap… I'm sorry. I must have been mistaken,” she said. “Probably the only ones who know that detail are the members of the Royal Guard and King Asgore himself. For the sake of security…”

“Please, Undyne. Could you explain it already?” Lars pleaded. He didn’t care about the reasons why Papyrus could not know about this mysterious detail! For now, at least…

“Yes. Yes, of course… You see, you can pass the barrier, as the legend says. But it takes more than one human soul, however powerful it may be. In order to break through the barrier, you also need a strong monster soul. Like our King’s soul.”

“Are you saying that…”

She lowered her gaze, and a heavy shadow fell over her face. Like a storm cloud hiding the sun.

“If you want to go back to your friends, you have to kill him.

You have to kill King Asgore.”

***

The silence lasted only a moment. It was more the result of the shock after Lars heard the information. And it was the same shock that made him react instantly, not giving his brain a second to think about it: when Lars had somehow digested Undyne’s words, he immediately exclaimed, waving his arms in protest:

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a second, I'm not going to kill anyone!! What the fuck is up with all this killing anyway?! That's not why I came here! I mean, technically, I wasn't planning on coming here at all, but…”

When the first vivid emotions subsided, he no longer knew what to feel. Why not give him a few minutes to sort things out?! Okay… He can’t go back to his friends unless he gets the King's soul, right? All his way there, all that running around the dungeon with a broken leg, the hardest battle of his life, the new ability he never even signed up for, jumping through time and space – all the effort is for naught if he refuses to fight Asgore? Is that right?

But murder… Premeditated murder? The cold-blooded murder of another living being for profit? And Undyne seriously thinks he'll go along with that?!

“No, that's not an option. I refuse, period!” the pirate firmly concluded. “Isn't there any other way…?”

He looked at her pleadingly. The stunned look that Undyne gave him in response was more eloquent than any words: not that she hadn't thought of other options, but she couldn't imagine that anyone would be interested in them. When she came to her senses, she suddenly grinned wryly, running her fingers through her scarlet hair.

“Damn… It's a good thing we couldn't make it through Hotland that time. It could have been the biggest mistake of my life…”

“What? Why?” Lars and Papyrus asked in one voice, looking as confused as they could. The amphibia let out a sound that resembled both like a chuckle or a suppressed groan. The mask of guilt distorted her features almost beyond recognition.

“Because… I thought you knew what was going on, you see? And, walking so confidently toward the castle, you must have been ready to do that. And I was… counting on it, to be honest…”

“Undyne, what are you talking about? You would never…”

She shook her head, silencing the skeleton.

“I insisted on going with you instead of Sans not because you convinced me then, Papyrus. I was not interested in giving your new friend a chance to make a good impression. And I didn't want to get to know him better, even though you asked me to. The truth is, I…”

It took Undyne a moment to continue her confession. This time not a word was uttered, though Papyrus was clearly having a hard time remaining silent. He even stopped breathing, afraid to make a sound.

“…I was going to protect Asgore. You know him, Pap! The strongest monster in the Underground, and yet so soft-hearted. I couldn't risk his life! Risk our hope. So I was going to do the most despicable thing you can imagine. Not to mention jeopardizing our friendship… But if the human attacked, I would have a good reason to kill him. To take his soul. And to free us all…” Undyne lowered her head and shoulders as she spoke, as if her own words were weighing down on her. By the end she could no longer bring herself to even look at Papyrus' feet, and instead she directed her gaze somewhere deep into the dark green carpet. “My plan didn't work only because you both tried so hard. I should have trusted you right away! I'm… I'm sorry…”

“Undyne, it's…”

Papyrus abruptly interrupted himself and swallowed hard, as if something was pressing on his throat. Still not daring to raise her head, the amphibia also maintained a heavy silence. She was probably waiting for Lars to react…

But he couldn't find the willingness to be angry at her. What to do, it wasn't the first time someone wanted to kill him – and he'd been killed more than once, too. Hand on heart, he couldn't even say that he had the right to be angry at Undyne for her intentions! Even if it sounded rather mean, all's fair in war, isn't that what they say? Enemies are not to be trifled with, and he was their enemy. Well, to put it crudely…

“It's… it's all right, Undyne,” Papyrus said quietly. “I mean, it wasn't a very good idea, but… You didn't end up doing it, did you?”

“True,” Lars agreed. “You shouldn't have to apologize for something that didn't happen. It's just a waste of energy and nerves!”

“No. I'm really awfully sorry about what I was going to do. I shouldn't have even thought of it!” Undyne raised her head and stared right into Lars' eyes. And then, abruptly, she bowed low before him. “Papyrus begged me to give you a chance, and I trampled his request into the dust! I didn't even try to understand you when you gave me a reason for it! I am terribly guilty of this!”

“Um… Yeah?” the pirate blinked confusedly. “A shitty thing to do, I suppose.”

“I… I know. And I don't expect you to forgive me right away. You and Papyrus. You both have every right to be angry and to hate me!”

“Don't be silly, Undyne…”

“Exactly! No one thinks of hating you!” Lars nodded, casting Papyrus a grateful look. He always had trouble choosing the right words in such situations, but Papyrus successfully channeled his thoughts in the right direction.

But hoping to meet his usual carefree gaze in return, he encountered something that made his chest tighten…

“And, um… You… Stand up, please, this is so fucking embarrassing, actually.”

Undyne did as he said, but even then she did not straighten her slumped shoulders. In the company of two sad monsters, Lars felt compelled to lighten up the mood. Not that he had this amazing talent available to him, but

“It's, well. It's really not the best thing to do. But I forgive you, Undyne. If I were you, I swear I'd do the same thing.”

He wasn't lying. Lars had never been a hero on whom the fate of an entire nation depended, but once he found himself on a distant planet that he didn't even know existed at the time, he took responsibility for the lives of five gems. He has carried the weight of that responsibility to this day, and if he had to choose between the lives of an outsider and of his friends… Even if he had to do something unworthy…

“Sure, you decided to take a desperate step. But all you were thinking about was the good of your people. And I respect that,” Lars smiled sincerely. “As much as I respect that you had the strength to tell the truth. Believe me, it's worth a lot these days!”

“You're… you're a really good guy, Lars,” Undyne said with warmth in her voice. “Glad I got to know you better. If only all humans were like you…”

“Oh, wow… Can I take that as a compliment?” the pirate gasped for air at what he heard. Even just in case, he turned to Papyrus, to confirm for himself that it was serious and not some kind of hidden mockery. The skeleton gave him a restrained smile, which for some reason only made Lars more uneasy…

“Take it as truth,” Undyne nodded gravely. “And I promise, I'll do my best to find another way to get you back to your crew.”

“Really?”

“Undyne, you don't have to do that…” Papyrus started, but she was again forced to interrupt him. This time, however, she did it much more gently. Walking up to him and taking his hands, she looked deep into his black eyes and said firmly:

“No, Papyrus, I must. Not only to make it up to you two. But simply because I really want to help. Human or not, Lars is your friend, and that should be enough for me… You don't mind, do you?”

It took a moment, but the skeleton squeezed Undyne’s hands harder and nodded with a slight smile. Good sign. Now Lars really believed that no matter what other hardships he had to endure, everything would be all right in the end… It had to be, right?

***

But on the way home, Papyrus wasn't much of a talker. More accurately, it was impossible to get anything more out of him than a simple "uh-huh". In his heart, Lars hoped he was just tired, but his gut told him it was more complicated than that, and had everything to do with what Undyne had confessed to them. 

“Hey, Pap. If you don't mind me saying it… I think you need to be more honest about your feelings.”

“What do you mean?”

Finally, some proper reaction! But the joy was overshadowed by how indifferent Papyrus said that. Lars could hardly contain his amazement. To see his friend so apathetic again… no, perhaps this was the first time he had ever seen him so unemotional! 

“Well, I mean. If something makes you angry or upset, you shouldn't hide it. It's better to talk about it directly, otherwise, as you said it last time… The consequences could be irreparable,” the pirate looked him carefully in the eyes. “Just trust me, it will be a lot harder later.”

“Mm-hmm. I'll think about it, thank you.”

Papyrus continued walking without slowing his pace, even when they reached the river. He stepped bluntly straight into the water, and began to move quickly away toward the deep darkness – away from the quiet village with its blazing lights, and away from the pirate. And somehow it seemed to Lars that Papyrus hadn't heard him at all…

Chapter Text

The atmosphere in the lab was tense, like the corridor in front of the dentist's office. Sitting on the couch, Lars, Papyrus, and the dog who had followed them here, waited for anyone to emerge from the office and announce the reasons for the sudden invitation to Hotland. But an hour had passed since Alphys had asked them to wait in the common room, and Lars, who so far had been surprisingly calm, was beginning to lose his patience. The incessant ticking of the clock and the monotonous humming of the ceiling lamps, as well as the growing restlessness, was making him fidget in his seat, tangling his fingers in his hair. If it weren't for Papyrus, who distracted him by talking, and the dog, who was clinging to his leg, he would have died of excitement already…

“Do you think it's good news?” Lars finally asked, tired of ignoring the potential question.

“Of course it's good news! You think Alphys would call you all the way out here to tell you something bad?”

“No, but she looked so confused and tired… Maybe there’s something wrong with the radio? Or maybe the next plan that Undyne had suggested isn't working…”

Lars dropped his head on the back of the sofa and covered his face with his hands. He was about to lose it, but Papyrus immediately came to the rescue, objecting in a confident and at the same time soothing voice:

“It's not like that! We must have come too soon and Alphys has not had time to finish. She's very demanding of herself and will never show her new inventions until she's double-checked everything. Stop getting yourself worked up, Lars! There's no obvious reason to worry yet.”

“Well. I guess. Maybe you're right…” the pirate exhaled slowly as he rolled down the back of the couch and folded his arms on his stomach. But even in this relaxed posture, neither his body nor his mind wanted to relax – as a result, his anxiety just spilled over into his left leg, making it twitch nervously, and his brain continued to make the most negative assumptions.

“Of course I'm right!” Papyrus swayed, bumping his shoulder against his friend's, and smiled encouragingly at him. “Everything will be fine, trust me. Just be patient! I'm sure that very soon we'll…”

Suddenly the skeleton was interrupted by the shuffling sound of the door to Alphys’s office opening. A shiver ran through them both, causing them to turn their heads and find Sans standing in the doorway. He'd been spending more time in the lab than he had at home in Snowdin lately, and his little brother was actually happy about it. At least, he said, Sans was finally working again.

“Hey. You guys coming or what?” he asked with a smile and nodded, inviting them in. The dog, bored of waiting, bravely followed Sans and they both soon disappeared in the dark. Lars and Papyrus glanced at each other, then followed too. 

The many noisy mechanisms and the buzzing lights stunned the pirate almost instantly as he passed through a small corridor into Alphys’s office. The narrow but long room, littered with various technological gizmos and almost drowning in darkness, was like a separate fantasy world for him. And Sans, in his crumpled white gown over his hooded jacket, looked like a ghost leading them into the unknown. Looking at the mysterious inventions lying on the tables and hanging from the top shelves, Lars stopped and froze in place, but Papyrus, walking behind him, gently nudged him in the back, not to let him lag behind his older brother.

Soon they walked to the far corner of the office, where there was a large table, flooded with the bright light of fluorescent lamps. Alphys was seated there, talking with Undyne enthusiastically about something. The dog wagged his tail happily and jumped up and down, drawing the girls' attention to the new arrivals.

“Oh, y-you're finally here!”

“We've been here a long time, it's just that there's no one home… I mean…” Lars rubbed the back of his head in confusion. “You told us to wait outside, didn't you?”

Alphys giggled nervously in response, running her fingers over the buttons of her gown. She seemed to have forgotten all about them! No wonder though, she'd been kind of distracted from the beginning.

“Ah… I'm sorry. I g-g-got carried away with the latest finalization and completely lost track of time! N-not that that happens to me often, b-but…”

“Come on, Alphy," Undyne gently touched her shoulder. “Can't you see he's on the edge already? Show him.”

“Oh, y-yes, right! Just a m-minute!”

And with these words, Alphys quickly turned around and grabbed the sheet that covered something in the center of the table. Until now Lars had not even noticed it, despite the fact that all the lamps above the table illuminated that very spot. But before he could even mentally guess what was hiding under it, Alphys yanked the sheet up, raising a tiny hurricane of dust into the air, revealing a strange device.

At first glance, it looked like a radio telegraph receiver. But a closer look showed a lot of different wires, buttons, and levers that had nothing to do with an ordinary receiver. Apparently assembled from a bunch of completely different parts, it looked like the Frankenstein of the invention world – crumpled, rewired, but seemingly quite alive. And to top it all off, there was Lars’ radio in the middle of it. He could hardly recognize it: the case had been completely removed, some of the parts had been replaced, and wires were sticking out in all directions, connecting with the wires from the receiver. For a split second the pirate was worried about its functionality, but when Alphys pressed the big blue button on the device, the radio's screen lit up and it immediately buzzed, tuning to the right wave.

“You did it… You actually fixed it!”

“Well, as I p-promised,” she smiled shyly. “It took a little d-digging to figure out why it stopped working in the f-first place… You know, it's a-a-actually quite an interesting situation! Because it was perfectly working, something was just… b-blocking it? I'm not quite sure wh-what it was. Luckily, we were able to boost the signal with our new invention! B-but… there's one thing you should p-p-probably know about…”

“The radio only works when it's stationary. That means you have to keep it on this thing all the time now,” Undyne patted the receiver carefully. “So if you want to call your friends, you'll have to stop by Alphys’s place.”

“I-is that okay?”

Pirate shook his head quickly, still unable to cope with his emotions, “What do you even mean? It's amazing! Doesn't matter how, as long as it works…”

“Oh, Lars, you can finally contact the Off Colors now!” Papyrus exclaimed enthusiastically and tugged impatiently at his sleeve. “Hurry up and call them!”

“Y-yes, you must call them at once! I'm s-s-so curious to see how it works…” Alphys turned to the device, her short fingers quickly started switching levers and wires. With each click the sound became clearer, the noise disappeared, and the screen, interrupted by occasional static, showed volume and frequency data. Lars frantically swallowed the lump in his throat and approached the table, feeling as if he were in a dream.

“I set the radio to receive and t-transmit messages. Pick the frequency here. When you talk, hold down this b-button and then release it so the message starts transmitting. This may take a while. The amplifier's working hard, but we're still very d-deep underground, so…”

“I understand, Alphys,” he nodded with a slight smile. “Thank you…”

“Okay, th-then… Now it's up to you.”

She stepped back, giving him more room. Lars looked back at the others: Papyrus, nervous, holding the dog in his arms, Undyne, giving him a reassuring smile… He couldn't find Sans in the dark, though, but it’s fine. There was no point in waiting any longer. He sighed deeply, sat down at the table, and with a trembling finger pressed the button. 

“This is Captain Lars, calling for the crew of the Sun Incinerator. Come in, over.”

He took his finger off the button and waited, holding his breath. It was maddening to miss even the slightest sound. Alphys had warned him that the wait could be pretty long for technical reasons, but the bad thoughts kept creeping into his head… What if there will be no answer? What if something happened, and he wouldn't even be able to find out? Wouldn't it be better to go on living in ignorance than to find out the terrible truth? His heart clenched painfully as he thought about what might have happened to his crew, when suddenly…

“……c…tain!……it’s……te! ……Answer…! Cap……where…you?!”

Noise and interference deafened and distorted the voice that came from the radio. But Lars could recognize it even while standing underwater with headphones on: it was Rhodonite…

So they're okay!

“Oh no…” Papyrus gasped, holding the dog tightly in his arms. “Why can't they get through?”

“L-let me try to reconfigure it,” Alphys stood on tiptoe, reached for the device and began to quickly change the wires again. The sound of the message it was receiving grew louder and louder, the noise level rising and falling like a wave breaking on the shore. But Alphys continued working hard, muttering something under her breath and nervously shifting from foot to foot, until…

“CAPTAIN!!!”

An unbearably sharp rang in the room, making everyone who had ears to cover them, and the dog to howl in unison. Alphys hurriedly turned down the volume. But the reason was not so much technical as the strength of the gem's voice, of that Lars was certain… Rhodonite could shout down even an active volcano if she wanted to!

“Yes, yes, you don't have to yell like that!”

“Don't forget the b-b-button, Lars!” the scientist reminded. “Otherwise they won't hear you!”

“Oh, yes, you’re right…” he jammed the message button. “Rhodonite, can you hear me?”

“Hear you loud and clear, Captain!” a voice trembling with excitement came from the speaker. “Oh stars, is that really you? Are you alive?! Please tell me you're alright!”

“Is that Captain? Really?”

“Captain, can you hear us…?”

“Blink twice if you're a hostage!”

“We can't see him, how are you going to…”

The restless voices of the gems rang through the radio, occasionally interrupted by the hiss of the speaker. Even Fluorite spoke faster and louder than usual. Lars could hardly hold back the tears of joy. Realization of how much he'd missed them all was beyond him.

“Are… are you guys okay? Where are you now?”

“Where are we ?!” Rhodonite responded indignantly. “What do you mean where are we? We are here, on the Sun Incinerator, where we should be – the real question is where are you, Captain! We scanned the whole planet but found no sign of you! Were you teleported to the moon?”

“Wha- Rhodonite, why does it always have to be the moon?”

“I don't know! I'm running out of options! And I'm panicking here, don't ask too much of me!”

Lars sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, as he often did in response to any nonsensical assumptions Rhodonite made emotionally. And yet, he never stopped smiling… There was so much he wanted to ask them! What had they been doing all this time? If they'd crossed paths with Emerald, if they'd gotten into any trouble without him. But he wasn't sure how long the radio would last, so he decided to cut back on the questions. First things first…

“I'm fine, don't worry about me. Turns out I'm still on the same planet, but underground… I'll give you the details later. How are you doing?”

“Under…” the message was cut off. Even though Lars couldn't see her face, he could tell by her intonation how hard it was for Rhodonite to refrain from asking any more questions. “We are fine too. At the moment we are on course for Earth.”

“Earth? Did something happen there?”

“No, no, nothing's happened! There's nothing wrong on Earth, we've contacted Miss Connie, she'll confirm… We were just going to use the lion's mane to teleport to you! Well, remember how…”

“Teleport… to me?”

This unexpected news made Lars feel numb. Rhodonite's words echoed in his head as the full meaning of them came to him in slow motion. He heard Papyrus call out to him, he felt Undyne’s strong hand shake his shoulder – only then he finally came to his senses. It was hard to say how long he was silent, but the voice from the radio was already starting to sound panicked. Lars quickly shook his head and jammed the transmit button again:

“No. You won't do that.”

“What? Why not?! But we're almost there!” Rhodonite said, confused. “Is that such a bad idea?”

Lars bit his tongue and unconsciously lowered his voice as he thought of a way to make it sound more succinct.

“Not in this case… Just…  Please don't do that. Even the radio doesn't work right in here, not to mention the portal! I don't understand why… Trust me, it's better if you don't take that risk yet. And even if you could travel to me, the portal wouldn't work in the opposite direction. I've tried it more than once, it’s no use. You might be stuck here too…”

Lars couldn't find the right words to finish his thought. His finger slipped off the button, and he rubbed his eyes, sincerely hoping that Rhodonite would not argue. However, after spending a little more time thinking about it than she had before, she transmitted a new message, muffled by slight interference:

“It doesn't matter, Captain! Wherever you are now, if you're stuck where there's no way out, so are we! We're a team. We promised to always stick together!”

“You will not use the lion's mane, Rhodonite. That's an order.”

The pirate was sure that his stern tone would make her and the others understand that the matter was non-negotiable. As he had expected, the reply took much longer… He bit his lip and immediately felt the faint metallic taste of blood. Giving orders had long ago become a habit to him and didn't feel odd. Though he considered the Off Colors his friends - his family - first and foremost he was their captain. The man responsible for their lives!

But now, for some reason, he felt disgusted to give such an order. The joy of hearing their voices was gone. It evaporated, leaving no trace, replaced by something else, prickly. Cold…

Tired of waiting, Lars sighed and, softening his voice as much as possible, sent a new message.

“Please, guys. I don't even have a guarantee that you'll make it through the portal alive. And I won't forgive myself if anything happens to you! I'll… I'll find another way. I promise.”

After a moment of silence, an impossibly quiet voice came from the speaker:

“Understood, Captain,” and then the device picked up another message, but this time it was the twins' voices, “Any other orders, Captain?”

“… No, nothing. I just wanted to let you know I’m okay and… hear your voices,” Lars said, unable to hold back a sad chuckle. “I'm really glad you're alright…”

“So are we… Thank you for letting us know, Captain" 

Lars felt Rutiles’ warm smiles even at a distance. His heart sank.

“I… I have to go, I have some things to think about… In the meantime, continue on your way to Earth.”

“Copy that, Captain.”

“I'll contact you again soon. I will!”

“Yes, Captain,” one of the twins' voice suddenly broke, and she fell silent. The slightly lower voice of the other Rutile finished the sentence:

“Please take care…”

***

The screen of the radio was still lit, and there was a static from the speaker, when Lars, after listening to the final message, fell face down on the table. He sat like that for almost five minutes, not breathing or moving, reacting neither to Alphys, who accidentally touched him by reaching to turn off the device, nor to Papyrus' hand on his shoulder, nor to Undyne’s attempts to cheer him up. How could he do this to his crew? What he had turned such a long-awaited event into…

“I am a terrible captain.”

“Don't say that. You did what you had to do!” Undyne objected knowledgeably. “A true captain knows when to set limits so his crewmembers won't get hurt.”

“True. Sure the Off Colors are upset now, but they know you meant well,” Papyrus said, continuing stroking his friend's shoulder. The dog, still in his arms, stretched out and licked Lars' ear, the only thing he could reach now.

“Y-yes, of course they know that… And d-don't worry, we'll figure something out!”

The pirate really wanted to respond to their support with at least a smile, but a sudden sense of hopelessness pressed his face harder against the surface of the table. Tired of waiting for a reaction, all three monsters looked at each other worriedly.

“By the way, Undyne. The bridge should have b-been fixed by now. Weren't you supposed to t-talk to the King about something?” Alphys reminded cautiously.

“Yeah…”

“D-do you think he might know something about… other ways to c-c-cross the barrier?”

“I have no guarantees, but no other ideas either,” the amphibia admitted with regret. “It's worth a try. Although it would be difficult to look an old man in the eye and withhold information about the human…”

Listening to their quiet conversation, Lars suddenly felt Papyrus' hand, still resting on his shoulder, gripping the fabric of his hoodie.

“Undyne…”

“Don't worry, Pap, I won't tell him anything. I swear. I'll just ask him about the archives in the castle. Maybe there's something useful in them, like entries of past royal scientists.”

“But would he trust you with such valuable documents?”

“There's only one way to find out, don't you think?”

Papyrus sighed softly, but said nothing more. The question seemed to have been exhausted, but at the same time there was some reticence in the air. The office inevitably sank into an uncomfortable silence, like a leaky ship in the dark ocean waters, and Lars once again felt obliged to do something about it…

Undyne, however, managed to beat him to it.

“Nice work on the radio, Alphys. I hardly believed it could be repaired, but you and Sans did it, by some miracle!”

“Oh, no, miracle has n-n-nothing to do with it,” the scientist corrected the glasses that had slid down her nose. “The radio itself was in good working order, we just needed to boost the signal. So we made a kind of energy s-s-station for it…”

“We called it the Mini Core.”

Everyone, including the dog, turned toward where Sans' voice came from. He was sitting in a chair with his feet in fuzzy pink slippers on the table, grinning at them. As if he had never been gone.

“The energy in it is a concentrated stream and has powerful effects, but the charge is short-lived. However, it's a useful tool, if you ask me.”

“You mean, we can use it on other devices?” Undyne asked thoughtfully. “Like that thing that teleported Lars here! You didn't happen to have it with you, by the way?”

The pirate raised his eyes to the ceiling, really trying to remember if anything had fallen with him in the snow. But his memory told him that it hadn't, so he just shrugged sadly.

“It's probably still where I found it. Sorry…”

“Bummer.”

“Don't apologize, Lars, it wasn't up to you,” Papyrus patted his shoulder again. “And how is it going to help us anyway? That thing teleported you into the dungeon, but you need to go the other way!”

“Well, maybe there were some arrows on it,” Undyne snorted.

“A-arrows?”

A long, thoughtful humming swept through the room, magnetically attracting everyone's attention. Even Lars finally lifted his head from the table to stare at Alphys’s tense face, while she drummed her fingers on her cheek. Seemed like Undyne’s words had given her some idea…

“What's on your mind, Alph?” Sans asked.

“I… Can't say I'm sure of it, b-but… if we got hold of that device, with the aid of an energy station, I could try to… reconfigure it…”

“You,” the pirate's eyes suddenly lit up, “really can do that?”

“Well, it t-transported you here, didn't it? Then there must be a reverse function. At least, I think so…” Alphys murmured, but after saying that quickly blushed and began to apologize. “Oh, what am I talking about? F-f-forget it! It was a very stupid s-suggestion to begin with! There's… th-there's no way we can get that device…”

But Lars was already smiling broadly, feeling the familiar sensation filling his soul, pushing him to do anything, even the craziest things. If there is even one tiny chance…

“Alphys. Could you turn the radio back on, please? There's something I want to ask my crew.”

Chapter Text

The news could have been better… The device that got Lars into this mess broke right after it teleported him to the dungeon. And though Fluorite had tried to repair it, the most that could be done was to put the broken case back together. As for the rest, it was an empty, useless box now, unable to transmit any signals or to scan anything. But Lars had no intention of giving up, even despite what he had heard. Especially since there was still one important advantage in this situation: the "useless box" was not left forgotten on the deserted surface of the planet - the Off Colors had taken it with them.

“I really need to get this device. Alphys said there's a chance we can reconfigure it to make the teleport work in the opposite direction. Let's hope the portal accepts the transmission, otherwise we'll have to think of something else…”

“Alphys? Who's Alphys, Captain?”

The pirate blinked in confusion, as if truly surprised that the members of his crew still did not know the one thanks to whom they could hear each other again. And then, when the realization finally dawned on him, he hit his forehead.

“Holy shit, I still haven't introduced you! I mean, I haven't really said anything at all…” Lars leaned over and stretched out his arm to grab the scientist by the shoulder and pull her toward him. “The thing is, I only survived here because of these guys! Alphys is the royal scientist. She's the one who fixed my radio and helped me contact you!”

“Oh… C-c-come on, Lars, I didn't d-do anything s-s-special! It's my job to… f-f-fix things…” she mumbled, stammering and adjusting her glasses with shaky hands. The reply, however, came in a flash, slightly distorted by the hissing loudspeakers – but even so, everyone present could hear the sincere joy in gem’s voices:

“Really? So it's you we should thank for getting our Captain back, Alphys!”

“Thank you… so much! We owe you a huge debt of gratitude…”

“How exciting! Captain is about to introduce us to his new friends!”

“He already has, Pad. Say hello to Alphys!”

The scientist hid a bewildered smile, lowering her head as low as possible. Lars quickly apologized and let her go – it was actually pretty rude to make her talk to strangers like that, considering how shy she was… but he just couldn't help himself! He really wanted his crewmembers to meet her… And the others, of course!

“There's also Papyrus, Sans, and Undyne. Hell, there's so much I want to tell you about them, but… Just so you know, without them, I would be lost. And also, certainly wouldn't have found a way back!”

“Hold your horses. We don't know if it will work yet,” Undyne said gravely. Though the words struck at his heart like the blunt edge of a knife in an open wound, it was understandable. After so many failed ideas, it was hard to believe that now everything would work out right. But before he could apologize for his haste, Papyrus leaned closer to the radio, pressed a button and said:

“Hello! We're all so glad to finally meet you. Don't worry about Lars, we'll be sure to get him back to you in one piece!”

The radiant smile with which Papyrus sent that message brought the pirate back to the very beginning, when he first found himself in the cozy two-story house in Snowdin, and the brothers had promised him they would do everything in their power to help him return home. To think how long it had been since then, and they still hadn't given up on the idea. This made Lars feel a pang of conscience again, which was probably reflected immediately on his face…

“Thank you all,” came from the radio in the meantime. “Words can't describe how much this means to us. If there's anything we can do to repay you, just tell us!”

“They're right,” Lars turned, staring at the four monsters. “You've done so much for me, and yet you've never asked for anything in return. How is that fair?”

“A simple thank you is enough,” Sans said calmly. “We can handle the rest on our own. Right, Cap’n?”

“Of course. With Alphys’s new developments, we have new hope now,” Undyne nodded. “And by the way, you've indirectly had a hand in it.”

“Me?”

She nodded again, giving him a warm, sincere smile.

“If we can't break the barrier, we can bypass it with the help of an amplifier…” 

“Mini Core," Sans corrected her.

“Yeah, yeah, that thing. I mean, if you hadn't brought the radio with you, and Alphys hadn't started messing with it, there's no way we would have gotten to the idea of building an amplifier. Like you said, the narrow focus of research impedes finding the answer… So tell your friends not to worry. Oh, and tell them to pick you up as soon as possible, I'll even pay them for it!”

Satisfied with her joke, Undyne burst out laughing. But even that laugh sounded strained, as if it were just a way of defusing the situation. Did it need to be? Lars cautiously looked around: Papyrus was smiling, but before he squatted down to pet the dog, the pirate could detect a slight sadness in his gaze; Alphys was restlessly twiddling her thumbs, staring at her own legs peeking out from under her white gown. Lars wasn't sure what had provoked this dull atmosphere, but, trying not to make it worse, he forced himself back to the radio and pressed the button.

“We'll deal with that later, okay? The first priority is to transmit the device through the Lion's mane. So as soon as you arrive on Earth, I expect a signal from you. Understood?”

“Understood. You can count on us, Captain!”

“We'll be there before you can say Bingo Bongo!” 

Lars could hardly keep himself from uttering his catchphrase right now, but smiled instead and ended the call. Putting the radio on standby, he replayed the conversation in his head, making sure that the instructions were clear. It was only a matter of time before the Off Colors would contact him again – now everything depended on the work of the nova thrusters and whether the portal in his head was working properly… And if on the nova thrusters he was not worried at all, the thoughts about the portal slowly but surely were raising anxiety in his chest. Whatever things Lars was trying to shove into his hair, it looked like some kind of weird fun, nothing more – his hair didn't glow like it used to, and objects didn't disappear into the depths of his personal pocket dimension. On the other hand, his ability to walk on water still worked, and he could teleport himself once, not very far. So there was still hope! Tiny hope. But there was…

And so he would have spent the remaining hours wrestling with his doubts and fears, but suddenly Alphys's timid voice had sounded from the side:

“Um, s-sorry, Lars, but I… I've been meaning t-to ask you… What does the l-lion's mane mean? Is it some kind of c-code word…?”

He turned his head to look at her and mentally noted how she looked puzzled and intrigued at the same time. And, actually, she wasn't the only one. Apparently Undyne shared the same expression with her, and even Sans was looking at him with undisguised interest. Oh yeah… he'd never told anyone about his powers. That is, no one except Papyrus.

“Well, that's… Umm…” the pirate drummed his fingers on the table, wondering how to avoid going into too much detail. “It's some sort of exchange system between me and another, uh, creature.”

“Like a pocket dimension?!” Alphys’s eyes lit up. She was obviously eager to hear more but, catching Sans and Papyrus's surprised glances, suddenly embarrassed. “I-I just read about th-that in humans’, um, b-books…”

“The same books you and Undyne found in the Garbage Dump?” Sans clarified with a smile. Alphys straightened her glasses, but did not have time to answer him, because Undyne suddenly intervened in the conversation, slamming her hands on the table and frightening everyone in the room:

“Hold on, wait a fucking second! So you have some kind of magical powers and you didn't tell us anything?!”

“Don't get me wrong, I just…” Lars scratched his cheek. “Some of these powers don't work here anyway! Or they do, but not at all the way they're supposed to. So I figured it didn't really matter…”

“What the- What do you mean it doesn't matter?! That changes the whole situation!”

“How exactly?”

His totally unserious attitude toward such an important detail in her own biography stunned her so much that Undyne temporarily lost her ability to speak. However, as Lars breathed a sigh of relief, it was Sans’ turn to ask questions:

“Why don't you tell us more? We might as well figure out why your powers don't work here.”

So nowhere to retreat, huh?… Lars raised hand to his head, habitually tracing his fingers through his pink hair, and started thinking. But the testing stares of the monsters just wouldn't let him think straight! Moreover, he had no idea how to summarize exactly what his powers was. It took him several tries to explain everything to Papyrus after what had happened in Waterfall. And now there were three new listeners!

“Okay, let me try to explain. There's a portal in my head, right? And it leads to a subspace that's closely connected to the same subspace of the beast that lives on my home planet. It's a pink lion. That's why it's called a lion's mane, you know?”

“And you can use that s-subspace to store things there and r-retrieve them when needed?”

“Well, yes. And thanks to the connection with the Lion, I can transport things from Earth through this portal.”

Or even people, sometimes, the pirate added to himself, vaguely remembering the strange feeling when Steven teleported to his ship.

“Sounds crazy, kid. A portal in the head, huh,” Sans whistled. “I bet you don't get that kind of power from birth, do you?”

Lars hesitated when he heard that question, feeling his body temperature rise.

“Well… How about I tell you about it next time? It's a long and boring story…”

“No one seems to be in a hurry tho.”

Fuck.

“Sans, have some conscience! Lars must be exhausted from all of this stress. He'll tell you next time, if he wants to!” Papyrus shook his finger at him, and Lars couldn't hide the grateful glance in his direction. Truly, who but the Great Papyrus could have so easily led an unpleasant conversation down a dead end? “Especially since we have far more important things to do now! Isn't that right, Dr. Alphys?”

“Y-yes, th-that's right… Sorry, Lars, you can tell us all about it later. Now…”

Hiding a disappointed look, the scientist went to a nearby table and started rummaging through it until she pulled out blueprint paper rolls. The next moment she turned back to the pirate, looking at him differently this time – surprisingly stern and ready to begin the long and painstaking work.

“I b-believe your crew will soon reach their destination, y-yes? And that means we need to prepare!”

“Prepare? Prepare for what?”

“C-come on, Lars… You know that already! In order to make the n-necessary modifications, I'll need all the information about the t-teleporting device! Everything you c-can remember. And also, I need resources! That'll require going to the Garbage Dump and looking for the right p-parts, so… We have a lot of work to do!”

“Leave the last one to me!” Undyne volunteered. “I'll turn Waterfall upside down if I have to!”

“Please don’t?” Lars rubbed the back of his head in puzzlement. “I kinda like that place… ”

“HA! All right, punk, I'll take that under advisement. Let's go, Pap!”

Undyne walked briskly toward the exit of the office. However, when she didn't hear footsteps behind her, she slowed down and fixed her eyes on the back of the skeleton's head. He seemed to be in no hurry… Didn't he hear her?

“Hey, Pap!”

“I’m sorry, Undyne. I have some things to do here.”

The dryness of those words probably affected her more than the dryness of Hotland's air. At least, the look on her face made Lars seriously uneasy so he started feverishly remembering where he could get water in the lab. However, Undyne came to her senses rather quickly and answered, trying to sound as nonchalantly as possible:

“Ah… Okay, sure thing! Then, uh, join me later, if you can? Well, or don't, that’s fine too!”

She waved goodbye and ran out of the lab. Papyrus' face remained impenetrable, and he didn't even glance in her direction, as if he didn't care how sad and guilty the tone of her voice was. The scene was clearly out of the ordinary, and even a newcomer like Lars had no trouble understanding it…

As if to fill the awkward pause, or to cover for his brother by saving him the trouble of explaining himself, Sans yawned loudly and slid out of his chair, speaking in a casual voice:

“I guess I'll keep Undyne company instead of you, bro. I'm not much use here anymore anyway. Don't get bored here, and don't break the office, okay?”

“We won't, Sans,” Papyrus smiled weakly back. “Thank you…”

The skeleton nodded at him and soon disappeared behind the many shelves and cabinets, whistling merrily.

***

Afraid of missing the call from the Off Colors, Lars literally settled in Alphys’s office – which was actually useful for her, for only from him could she get the information she needed. The hours of waiting were filled with so much work and worry that it felt like weeks. And at the same time it felt like one long night… The only things that saved him from going insane were occasional walks with Papyrus, who kept telling Lars that if he didn't get out of the lab from time to time, he would grow to the table like a thousand-year-old vine, and no teleporter would ever bring him home. But even in those moments, the pirate could hardly bring himself to think of anything other than possible failure.

It was terribly exhausting. Lars even got to the point where he almost lost all hope – that's why he had to give himself a good mental kick. Since the monsters that had been stuck here for centuries, had not given up hope, who was he to lose it?

Under this slogan, the wait became a little less excruciating. Emphasis on "a little." Generally speaking, keeping a positive mindset in any situation was never Lars' thing – living on Earth, he managed to make a world-wide problem out of any mild nuisance! But the more difficulties he had to overcome, the more reasonable and useful it seemed to be able to take control of himself instead of wallowing in self-pity. Before, Lars would have blamed everyone around him for getting into trouble but now he saw it all as a personal life-challenge… Well, he tried, at least. He could even say that being here, in the Underground, had hardened his character more than the unplanned trip to the Homeworld. Though the situation was close enough.

“Hey, Alphys…” the pirate took his eyes off the book he and Papyrus were passing the time with, and suddenly turned to the scientist, who was busy with some drawings. She jerked her hand when she heard her name, and accidentally crumpled the paper, but didn't even notice it – the questioning look from beneath her round glasses was already fixed on Lars.

“Y-yes? What is it?”

“Sorry to interrupt, I just suddenly remembered what I wanted to ask… What kind of new developments did Undyne talk about, if it's not a secret? Have you figured out a way for you guys to get out of the dungeon?”

Alphys paused briefly, as if she needed time to switch from one thought to another, just like Fluorite always did. Waiting for an answer, Papyrus peered slightly out from behind Lars' shoulder, also focusing his gaze on her. Apparently, he wasn't aware of it, either.

“Well, there's an idea… I'm going to develop a t-teleport system, using the knowledge I gained from studying your r-radio,” she finally said with enthusiasm. “Remember when I told you that s-something was blocking the signal? Well, I have a hunch that it's the effect of the m-magic barrier…”

“Shouldn't it have the same effect on all local mechanisms in that case? Or is the barrier so selective?” Lars asked, looking around the office. One of the computers immediately made a loud noise, as if in response.

“It's not about s-selectivity. Everything we've created within the barrier is s-simple technology that doesn't extend beyond the b-boundaries of the Underground. But your radio transmits from here to the surface! It even goes farther than th-that,” she said thoughtfully, smoothing the crumpled sketch over her fingers. “M-maybe it’s the same reason why your powers won't work. B-b-but that's not certain, of c-course! It's just a g-guess. You see, it's very ancient magic. And incredibly p-powerful, as far as you can see…”

Lars nodded understandingly. Considering that the monsters still haven't been able to break the barrier, the magic with which it was created must be the most powerful thing in the universe. Or, at the very least, the most resilient. He had never encountered anything like it. Not even those giant ladies, the rulers of the Homeworld, had shown more impressive tricks. But then…

What power could destroy the possessors of this magic?

They are… destroyed, aren't they?

“If the c-concentrated flow of energy from the Core c-can make a radio work properly,” Alphys continued, “then maybe it can work on a t-teleport. Of course, I doubt it will have enough power to t-transport everyone at once… but we can transport one by one. It could take a while, b-but, in my opinion, that's better than… nothing at all…”

“Indeed. Sounds like a great plan!”

“Y-yes,” she smiled. “It is…”

The scientist lowered her head, returning to her drawing, and Lars and Papyrus continued reading. The humming of lamps and a quiet noise of mechanisms and computers on the tables and shelves, the rustling of pages and creaking of markers plunged the office into some kind of cozy library atmosphere. It had been a long time since Lars had visited that place… But when he finally relaxed and allowed himself to enjoy this pleasant state, a sharp signal of the radio made him shudder and close the book, almost pressing his finger between the pages. Judging by the noise from the side, the sound frightened Alphys too, and now she was feverishly collecting drawings scattered across the table.

“It's them! Lars, hurry!” Papyrus had already jumped to his feet and was bouncing impatiently in place as the pirate got out from the table and reached for the radio. For a second he thought that the skeleton had been waiting for this moment even more than he had. But there was no time to speculate about it; first he had to answer.

“This is the crew of the Sun Incinerator, Rhodonite speaking. Do you read me, over?”

“Hear you loud and clear, Rhodonite. You in position?”

“Yes, Captain…” the voice from the radio sounded like she was out of breath. Lars could easily understand her. He felt like a stranded fish himself.

“Good. Ready for the most powerful throw of your life?” he asked, smiling a little nervously. “The package must fly all the way from the Lion's pocket dimension to me and pop out of my head here, so… You know.”

“Don’t worry. The twins are masters at throwing things long distances. So we thought it best to leave it to them.”

“Great, great… It won't be hard! Just pretend you're playing baseball and the fate of the whole team depends on your throw.”

“Stop it, Captain!” Rhodonite squeaked in horror. “You’re making it worse!”

Lars grinned awkwardly. Really, this was no time for stupid jokes. Even for the sake of boosting his crew morale… No, it should've worked. It's going to work! Continuing to reassure himself of that, he turned to Papyrus.

“Pap, if all goes well, my hair will start to glow and the device will fly through it in a straight line. I'll try to catch it myself, but could you back me up? Just in case. I don't want it to hit the wall at the end…”

“No problem! Nothing gets past me, don’t worry!” the skeleton exclaimed. Lars nodded and put his finger over the transmit button. If he believed in a higher power, he would have started praying by now… But there was no one to pray to.

“We're ready. Let's just get this over with.”

“Copy that, Captain! On the count of three… One.

Two…”

Chapter Text

When, on the count of three, his hair glowed a bright pink neon, Lars almost choked with excitement. The slight vibration that ran from his head all the way down his body to the tips of his toes felt like an unscheduled little earthquake inside him. Only stubbornness kept him on his feet when an object neatly wrapped in a scrap of cloth flew at full speed from his glowing hair right into Papyrus’ hands. But as soon as that happened, the recoil shoved Lars so hard he fell backwards, knocking everything on the way. There was a clatter of markers falling from the table. Something have fallen off the top shelves… Yup. The twins really are masters at throwing things long distances! Frankly, with that kind of power, they wouldn't even be allowed to play baseball.

However, it was finally over. And when the rumbling in the office subsided, a ringing silence allowed Lars to hear Alphys slip hurriedly out of her seat. He sure hoped he hadn't trashed her office too badly, and that he hadn't broken any important inventions…

“W-wow! I've never s-seen anything like this before!” she exclaimed as she helped Lars up. The way he wrinkled his nose and rubbed his back, she could tell the fall hadn't been pleasant. “Y-you okay?”

“Yeah, I think so,” the pirate coughed. “Just choke up on some dust and… Ouch!”

He straightened up – at least as far as he could do with his back hurt – reached for his head and began to run a hand over it. He didn’t know what exactly he was hoping for, though: the glow had already faded, and his fingers traced through his disheveled hair without falling into a pocket dimension. Catching a slight panic attack, he widened his eyes and looked at Papyrus, who approached him.

“Did it work? Is device okay?”

“It's fine, not even a single scratch!” the skeleton hurried to reassure him, giving Lars an anxious look. “But… Are you alright? You look a little rough… Does that always happen when a portal receives a transmission?”

The pirate laughed nervously, then winced as the pain shot up his lower back. Jeez… At this rate, he'll probably live even less than he was supposed to before he was reborn in pink.

“No… To be honest, that was the first time I'd ever been hit that hard. Usually it's just accompanied by a migraine or something. I guess the twins went a little overboard with the power of the throw.”

“I'd say they calculated it pretty accurately. I didn't even have to strain to catch that thing!”

Contrary to the whole spectrum of unpleasant feelings he was experiencing at the moment, Lars smiled happily. What an incredible relief that was! Now that they had the device in their hands, it was time to get to work… Which Alphys was already doing, by the way – she took the package from the skeleton's hands, and started examining it closely, carefully poking around in the casing with a thin screwdriver. The mess Lars had made of the office didn't seem to bother her half as much as he thought it would. Good. He could hardly make up for what he'd already broken. On the other hand, the new toy clearly intrigued her!

“So this is the so-called t-teleporter? It's kind of… simple.”

…Or not.

"Damn, am I surrounded by critics?" Lars snorted in response to this unexpected conclusion. Alphys immediately blushed and shook her head quickly:

“Oh, I didn't mean t-that! I'm just saying that it l-looks rather… outdated, y-you know? I'm not c-c-criticizing at all…”

The pirate bent his head towards his shoulder before he could dodge the slap from Papyrus. He had been so nervous he'd forgotten to watch his tongue.

“It's okay, Alphys, I was just kidding. So, uh… You mean it'll be easy to fix that thing?”

“There's no n-need to fix it, actually. Your engineer… Fluorite, right? W-well, she did a great job with it,” Alphys replied, carefully removing the top cover from the device. “The problem is that this m-microcircuit here appears to have burned out after use. And these p-parts are very small, so they are hard to work w-with. We'll have to replace something here… and here… Unsolder the resistor, put a jumper here and…”

When she finally distracted herself from examining the device, she noticed how hard Lars was trying to understand her mumbling. He must have had an amusing look on his face, or how else to explain her soft chuckle?

“We’ll f-figure it out. It's not as hard as it sounds, really! Y-You just don’t worry, okay?”

“I won’t,” he said. “Why should I be worried when a royal scientist is on the case?”

“Exactly! Y-you can count on me!” Alphys nodded and then continued studying the device. Trying not to distract her anymore, Lars turned to the radio, which already had been beeping and blinking for a good five minutes to notify them of an incoming message. It wasn't fair to keep his crew waiting and agonizing over whether their plan had worked, so he pressed a button. Rhodonite’s voice, mixed with a loud lion's purring, came from the speaker:

“Captain, the portal has successfully absorbed the package. Did you get it?”

Surprisingly, that was the only message.

“Yup, we got it. Great job, guys!” Lars replied, not even trying to hide his proud intonation. In fact, it was worth asking the twins to teach him such a cool throw some time. You never know when it might come in handy.

“Oh, thank the stars! It took you so long to reply, I was already thinking things! Anyway… Any more orders, Captain?”

Lars seriously thought about this question. What now? Perhaps, he didn't have any orders fro the crew – the rest depended solely on Alphys’s skills and whether they could find all the necessary parts at the Garbage Dump. As for the Off Colors… Well, there was one thing, actually.

“Just one order. Get yourself a good rest. It must have been a grueling journey, and you've already done everything that was required of you, so… You've earned a break.”

“Very well, Captain. Then… keep us informed, okay?”

“Of course, Rhodonite. Wait for an update from me. Over.”

***

“Alphys, we're back! How are y- WHAT THE-!”

A rumbling sound from the doorway caused everyone to disengage from their work – even the most immersed. Undyne seemed to have discovered the remains of the recent mess. Alas, it hadn't occurred to Lars to check the corridor near the front door, as he informed Papyrus with a long, eloquent glance. Anyway, a few minutes later, the two monsters did make their way into the office, peering suspiciously under their feet. They should've seen what happened here a little earlier…

“Is it just me, or was it less of a mess when we left?”

“Sorry, my bad,” Lars raised his hand guiltily. Undyne gave him a skeptical look, obviously having trouble believing that he could do something like that. Especially after what happened in her own house, no, sir. Cleaning up the mess was his specialty! But that wasn't the most pressing issue at the moment.

“Did you r-receive my message, Undyne?” Alphys inquired as she approached her friend.

“Which one? The second or the forty-fifth?” she laughed, but then got serious again, noticing that no one else was amused. It was obvious that Alphys was talking about each of the forty-five messages. “Of course I did. Here, we brought everything we could find!”

“Even the AM6 chip?”

“Sorry, that's on the list of things we didn't find,” Sans shook his head regretfully. “But we did find some analogues. With any luck, not all of them will be burnt.”

“Oh… W-well, that's alright, we can always find r-replacements for AM6!” 

Meanwhile, Undyne put the heavy backpack carefully on the table, and stepped back, giving Alphys more room. Lars watched with great interest as she started categorizing and sorting things, for the first time in his life he regretting he didn't have enough knowledge to help… But reality was harsh, and even on his own ship all the technical work was done by others. Well, you can't just learn everything.

“So-o-o… how are you guys? What have you been up to while we were gone?” Undyne asked carefully. She probably expected to get an answer from someone specific, but Alphys hadn't thought of that…

“Oh, a-a-actually, we got a lot done! Lars' crew got to their p-planet very quickly, and there was no problem with t-transporting the device. So we've already prepared it for r-r-reconfiguration and just finished the d-drawing… By the way, Sans!”

The sudden call made the skeleton, who was already sitting relaxed in the chair, to stretch his neck, glancing questioningly at his co-worker. It would seem that his part of the job was already done, did she need anything else from him?

“W-why didn't you ever say your b-brother was so good at engineering and drawing? I would have asked him to help us earlier… I mean, I've never been able to draw diagrams that neat and clear. It's a p-pleasure to work with those!”

Sans was in no hurry to answer. It was hard to tell if his surprise was fake, but at least he looked like he wasn't ready for this information.

“He is? I'm just hearing this now, your honor,” he finally said, glancing furtively at his sulking brother. Had Sans really never noticed his infatuation? Well, Lars was surprised too, but he had only met Papyrus a few days ago, so…

“Are you fucking kidding me?! Of course Papyrus is good at engineering! He's a real pro at it!” Undyne’s voice came out of the blue, drawing everyone's attention. Not so much because of its power and natural volume, but because of how proud her tone was. Some could think Papyrus was her little brother, not Sans'. “And he has golden hands, too. He always invented and designed all his own traps and puzzles. How could you not know that, living in the same house with him?!”

“Hey, take it easy, Cap’n,” Sans said in a conciliatory voice. “I know I'm not the most attentive monster in the world, but that's no reason to be so indignant.”

“So inattentive that you can't see that your own house isn't falling apart just because of your brother?!”

Although this conversation threatened to take a slightly more serious turn than it deserved, Lars could not bring himself to interrupt them. There was something that compelled him to be quiet, waiting for some kind of denouement – namely, the look on Papyrus' face. At first he seemed to be actually offended at his brother for not noticing his hobbies all this time. But then amazement took the place of resentment, and by the end of Undyne’s unexpected speech, a smile began to appear on his face. Smile, which made Lars breathe a sigh of relief.

“I just respect his right to privacy,” Sans said, shrugging his shoulders. “Everyone's allowed to have little secrets. Right, bro?”

“What secrets?” Undyne snorted. ‘Pap is like an open book, he can't have any secrets, much less from his friends! I mean, friends never hide any-”

She suddenly stumbled over her own words and fell silent and pale, as if the last words brought something back into her memories… But it was enough to make the smile slip instantly from Papyrus' face. Without waiting for Undyne to finish her careless phrase, he rose from his chair, walked around her at a distance, and said in a nonchalant tone:

“Well, since there's nothing important going on anyway, I guess I'll go make dinner! Alphys, do you mind if I use your kitchen?”

“N-no, not at all… But it m-m-might be a bit dusty, though, because I don't use it very often,” she said, hiding a confusion behind her smile. “Un-Undyne goes there more often than I do, s-so, uh… m-maybe…”

Papyrus froze, turning to the amphibia his gaze, full of contradictory emotions. He seemed to be about to give up and call her with him, as Alphys had so unambiguously hinted, but…

“Lars, could you give me a hand?”

During his time in the Underground, the pirate had seen Undyne in various moods. From dead serious to surprisingly carefree and cheerful. He'd seen her angry and even a little silly. But never before had she seemed so devastated.

“I… Yeah, sure. I'm coming.”

Now was not a good time to argue, so he quietly got up from his seat and followed Papyrus out. Soon the office doors closed behind their backs, mercilessly cutting off the space immersed in a monotonous mechanical hum from the surprisingly quiet part of the laboratory.

***

“Pap, you got something burning in there… Pa-a-ap? Hey. Are you even listening?”

The skeleton was busy slicing vegetables for quite a long time. He usually spent only a couple of minutes on it, but now he was wielding his knife so slowly that the oil in the frying pan had time to burn out and split into atoms. Lars' sensitive nose already started to ache from the smell of hot cookware, and since Papyrus didn't seem to plan to respond to the strange smell or his words, he went over to the stove and turned it off himself.

“Hey, I'm cooking here,” Papyrus protested and reached out to turn on the fire again but the pirate grabbed his hand.

“Pap, I respect your right to keep your personal feelings private, but I think it's starting to seriously damage your health. Can we talk already?”

“What do you mean? We do nothing but talk all the time! Have you forgotten? I bet this is all Sans’ influence…”

The chuckle didn't even come out of his chest, it stuck somewhere in his throat, making Papyrus wince as if he was having a fit of nausea. No matter how many times he tried to act cheerful, it got worse every time. Who was he still trying to fool?

Ever since Undyne had confessed what she was going to do, when she took them to the royal castle, Papyrus had grown darker than a storm cloud. Just a little while ago anything that reminded him of Undyne had made him smile and talk about her for hours and hours, rejoicing at the opportunity – but now even cooking was a punishment for him. And not that Lars doubted that the relationship between the two could work out without his intervention… But he felt an obligation to get involved. For certain reasons.

“No, I mean,” he said stubbornly, staring at the skeleton's tired face, “can we talk about what's going on between you and Undyne?”

“What? U-Undyne? Is there something wrong?” Papyrus perked up, pulling a carefree expression over his face, like a curtain. His speech was swift and loud again. “It's all great, I mean, we're the bestest friends in the world! I don't even know what you want to talk about exactly! But I'm kind of in the middle of something, so not now, okay?”

With those words, he withdrew his hand and reached for the lever on the stove again. But Lars was not going to give up so easily – he got in his way and grabbed his hand again, this time raising it to the level of his chest, forcing his friend to look himself in the eye.

“No, it's not okay! I've ignored this long enough, how many times can you change the subject?”

“I'm not changing the subject, I'm just…”

“Yes you are! You started talking about how your brother hadn't picked one damn sock in years when I tried to ask you how you were feeling after that conversation! You purposely led Sans on with his jokes so you could pretend to be angry for the umpteenth time and leave the room just to avoid my questions! You-”

“Lars, please. You’re hurting me a little…”

“Well, Papyrus, I'm sorry if the truth hurts!”

“No, I mean my hand. You squeezed it too hard.”

“Huh?”

Lars blinked and looked at his hand clutching Papyrus’ wrist with such force that the bones bent at a rather dangerous angle. He immediately let go of it and started apologizing, but the skeleton only smiled softly, rubbing his arm. The dog growled from the floor.

“Shit, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to, I swear! I just…”

“Not very good with emotions. I know, Lars. It's okay.”

“No, dude, it's not okay! You should be mad at me for that! I mean, at least. Pap…” the pirate's voice was almost pleading. “Why do you have to be like this?”

“I have no idea what you're talking about. Why should I be mad? Nothing terrible has happened, look! There won't even be a bruise. My hand is perfectly fine. I'm perfectly… perfectly… p…”

Lars clenched his teeth so tightly it was a wonder they didn't crack. Contrary to what he was saying, tears began to gather in the corners of Papyrus' completely empty and tired eyes, and rolled down his cheekbones. He seemed unaware of it and kept opening and closing his mouth without making a sound, as if he were in some stupid trance. But when the growling from below changed to whimpering, Papyrus quickly wiped away the tears with his sweater sleeve, bent down, and picked up the dog. Once at his owner’s face level, the dog licked him in the eye, making him chuckle hoarsely and burrow his face into the snow-white fur.

“I wish I could say that I’m fine, but…  apparently I'm not? So stupid…”

“It's not stupid. It would be stupid to keep ignoring this problem. Especially when it makes you worry so much.”

Papyrus frowned in painful contemplation and finally decided to give up. His face was still hidden behind the dog's fur, making his voice muffled and distant - Lars had to strain hard not to miss a word.

“I'm just… I'm really, really tired of thinking about it, Lars. All those years of having a role model in front of me… Building my whole life around her, matching her interests, catching her every word… And for what, in the end? To have that perfect image shattered into pieces because of one single mistake, and find in her place someone I don't even know… Can you imagine that?”

“I'm afraid I've never encountered such a thing,” the pirate rubbed the back of his head. He decided it would be better to come clean, but he was really trying to imagine how he would feel if that happened. “It must be, well… rather unpleasant.”

“Unpleasant, you say? Unpleasant is a very weak word. I'd say it makes you feel like a real idiot,” Papyrus whispered, barely able to contain a tremor in his voice and pressing his face harder into the dog's fur. “To think that my entire conscious life has been built on unquestioning faith in one monster. Who doesn't even listen to me when I need it so much!”

“Papyrus…”

“It's not fair!! It's not fair to make me feel like that!! It's just unthinkable! How can someone who I love and respect so much suddenly make me feel so much anger?! I don't understand it! I just don't…”

Sobbing and choking back tears, Papyrus was forced to stop talking. The dog he was hugging tried to support him in every way possible: whimpered softly, pressed his forehead against his skull, wrapped his tail around his arm. But nothing in the world seemed capable of stifling his outburst of emotion. Lars stared at him helplessly, clutching his shirt with his hand. The scars that had been left one restart ago burned painfully on his skin for some reason.

“It's such a terrible feeling,” Papyrus said, stammering, when the wave of emotion subsided a little. “To be so angry with someone that… even the voice you used to be ready to listen to for hours… is infuriating now. I've never felt this way, never in my life, especially toward my friends! But when Undyne confessed that… I was so disappointed I wanted to scream! And I didn't even know what to do about it! You know? I tried so hard to ignore the feeling, to suppress it, I really-really tried! But the more I tried, the harder it got and…”

“Haven't you ever heard that suppressing emotions doesn't do any good?” Lars bit his tongue when he said that. It didn't take a genius to realize how cruel that sounded. But the words came out spontaneously, and it was too late to take them back.

“Who… was I supposed to hear that from, Lars?” Papyrus took a deep shuddering breath. “From my brother, who prefers to hide in a pub all day long just to avoid discussing his problems with me? From Alphys, who wouldn't even talk to me until you showed up? Or, perhaps, from Undyne herself, who lives to protect and support the others… doing absolutely nothing for herself…”

Again silent, Papyrus bent down and gently placed the dog on the floor, who remained in place, close to the skeleton's feet, looking at him with his round black eyes. Still moving slowly and carefully, Lars took a step closer and grabbed Papyrus’ hands, mentally glad that he met no resistance. This time he didn't even have to force his friend to look him in the eye; he lifted his face and looked at him, abandoning any attempt at a fake smile.

“Pap, look. This may sound crazy to you, but you being mad at Undyne… it's normal. Friends get mad at each other for all sorts of reasons, serious or not. They fight, they get hurt, they get disappointed in each other. But that doesn't necessarily make them less of friends…”

Lars paused for a moment, swallowing the lump in his throat. He didn't often have to say things like that… Steven would be proud.

“But you can't deny that you can feel anger. And please, don’t suppress those emotions. Believe me, I've been doing it for years! Do you know what you get out of it?” Papyrus honestly shook his head without waiting for an answer. “Negativity piles up until you can't take it anymore and all the things you've been feeling just come out at the worst possible moment. So you might hurt someone you really care about. And you also run the risk of hearing people around you when all they want to do is to help you…”

“But then what should I do?” the skeleton asked suddenly, squeezing Lars’ hands with his own. “If you can't suppress or ignore these emotions… Should I just tell Undyne that I hate her?”

“Well, no need to be so rough,” Lars smiled. “You… you don't actually hate her, right?”

Papyrus lifted his shoulders, making his posture unbearably tense. It took him too long to think for a simple no. The pirate didn't rush him, though he was worried that he'd never have an answer – Sans would teleport into the kitchen or Undyne herself would burst in, or maybe the Off Colors would crash into the lab on the Sun Incinerator! Anything will happen. But not the answer he was waiting for.

But time passed, and Papyrus finally exhaled and shook his head.

“No… Of course not. I still love her very much. Nothing in this world could make me seriously hate Undyne!” he exclaimed with such fervor there was no doubt of his sincerity. “I was the one who elevated her to the status of deity and I was the one who demanded that she live up to it… But it was never Undyne’s fault. And never had been.”

“Everyone makes mistakes. Even such a cool girl like Undyne.”

Papyrus smiled at these words, but immediately averted his eyes to the side, glancing thoughtlessly over the forgotten vegetables. Though his face had cleared, the shadow of guilt was in no hurry to dissolve.

“But hadn't I ruined our relationship already? I'd tried so hard to earn her friendship, but now… All is lost.”

“Nothing is lost!” the pirate objected, shaking Papyrus’ hands vigorously. “I'm sure Undyne is as worried about this as you are! Maybe even more, considering how she's been beating herself up so far. All you have to do is just talk to each other! Even if it's uncomfortable and scary in some ways, it's the most effective way to make things right and make your friendship even stronger.”

“Do you really think so?” Papyrus asked quietly. Lars nodded firmly: he never felt so sure of what he was saying, actually… Where had that come from? He couldn't remember a single time he'd ever had to say words like that to anyone else, but… It seemed right. 

When the skeleton received such a confident answer, he nodded too, as if trying to instill that confidence to himself.

“Okay. If you say so, then…”

“I guarantee. Even when it seems like a hopeless situation, you still can fix everything… Hey, I think you said something like that earlier, remember? When we were in Waterfall caves, and…” Lars didn't finish his thought, because Papyrus suddenly hugged him, causing him to step back in surprise. The dog's tail wagged so much, a draught seemed to rise from below.

“Thank you, Lars, really. I had no idea how much I needed it!” the skeleton finally let him go and smiled gratefully. “Just a few minutes ago everything seemed so awful and hopeless, but now…”

“It's all right now?” Lars asked hopefully. Papyrus gave him a long thoughtful look and turned back to the table. It was all wonderful, but they still had a lot to do in the kitchen.

“It will be. When I finally talk to Undyne about everything. I'll do my best, I promise! But now, let's get back to cooking, shall we? Dinner is not gonna cook itself.”

“Sure,” Lars grinned as he accepted the knife Papyrus handed him. “In that case, I'll finish chopping the vegetables and you get the rest ready, okay?”

“Okay, but try not to chop them into too small pieces!”

“Fine, fine, I got it… Hey, now that we're doing it anyway, how about we add some…”

Suddenly, the door slammed loudly, making Lars flinch and turn a hundred and eighty degrees, clutching the handle of the knife with all his might. When they saw Undyne herself, who appeared in the doorway with a mixture of unbridled joy and excitement frozen on her face, Papyrus squeaked in surprise, clutching at the fabric of his sweater with both hands. Perhaps he was not prepared for this turn of events…

“Un… Undyne? What happened? What are you…”

“To the office, both of you. Now. Hurry up!”

“Are we burning? Drowning? Can you be a little more specific, so we don't die out on the way there?” Lars chuckled nervously. The amphibia exhaled, ruffling her hair, and, trying to steady her voice, said something that made the pirate's heart freeze:

“Teleport. The teleport worked! Alphys managed to reconfigure it… You can go home! ”

Chapter Text

Lars couldn't believe it. It really was over…

Barely three minutes passed between the moment when he and Papyrus heard the latest news and their return to the office - but Lars could not even remember when and how exactly he had managed to get here. His legs carried the obedient body forward while his brain struggled to digest the information, and this internal inconsistency made him feel as if he had been unconscious for a good three hours. Now, standing in the middle of the noisy machinery and humming computers, he felt utterly confused. And terrified.

Meanwhile, in the office, work was in full swing. Alphys, excited about her success, shifted from foot to foot as she was standing at her desk, checking numerous drawings and diagrams, and Sans, who looked surprisingly alert, was typing something on the computer. Lars squinted as he slowly looked from one to the other – his eyes, accustomed to the bright lighting in the kitchen, now needed some time to see in the dark – and thought about what to say. He couldn't think of a single word, as if he'd forgotten how to have a conversation at all.

“Alphys, is that true? Were you really able to reconfigure this thing to teleport Lars from here?” a ringing voice sounded near his ear. Papyrus seemed impossibly pale in the darkness, and, along with the shadows under his eyes, it made him look more like a ghost than a skeleton…

“It's amazing, isn't it? I can h-hardly believe it myself, but we d-did it!” the scientist nodded in response. Her glasses slid down to the tip of her nose because of her sudden fidgeting movements, but the risk of breaking them didn't bother her at all. “R-right now, Sans is setting up the coordinates where the radio p-picked up the signal last time. So the portal must m-move Lars right to his crew! Just a few more m-minutes… and you can go home!”

Alphys’s triumphant voice, her genuine joy, and the smile on her face at the last words, somehow only increased the heavy, oppressive feeling that had been nesting in Lars’ chest from the moment he crossed the threshold of the office. But why? After all, the news was wonderful – he was finally returning to his friends! He should've been jumping for joy… But his legs felt petrified.

However, everyone was clearly waiting for his reaction, so it would have been unseemly to remain silent. Resisting the urge to crawl under a desk, Lars blinked in confusion and, stammering, asked the first thing that came to his mind:

“M-maybe I should tell my crew about it first? You know, get them ready and everything…”

“I'm afraid th-that's not going to work,” Alphys muttered regretfully. “We had to take your radio off the Mini Core because there wasn't enough power for two devices at once. We also, um… b-borrowed a few parts from it, t-too.”

“You mean… it's no longer operational? And I… won't be able to communicate with you guys anymore?”

He glanced helplessly at the remnants of the radio, lying alone on the edge of the table. Removing it from the Mini Core was clearly not painless… But there must be a way to get it working again! Alphys could do it, right? But for some reason she was in no hurry to respond. Lars breathed in a gust of air that almost made him cough, a prickly little throbbing in his throat, but he stubbornly continued:

“Wait, but… You actually built the teleporter, Alphys! That means you can travel to Earth with me, right? Right??”

“N-no, Lars… P-power is enough for only one trip. And you'd better use it now, while there's still a real chance. The power in the s-station can be recharged, but I don't know how long it'll take, s-so…”

“But… I think…”

“Don't think, kid,” Sans interrupted him calmly. His white eyes glowing in the dark were peering insistently into the pirate's face. “Your crew is waiting for you.”

His shoulders, lifted tensely during the entire conversation, slumped after these words. Lars couldn't find anything to say – and what was there to say? Sans was right. There, on Earth, the little crew of space pirates was waiting for their captain, and he had no right… nor did he want to delay their reunion, especially when fate had graciously given him the opportunity! Hadn't he made that decision at the beginning of his journey? Had he ever doubted his choice? For a fraction of a second, hadn't he…

“What is wrong with you?!” Undyne exclaimed angrily, tired of the countless questions and waitings. “Don't keep your friends waiting! We'll be fine, we'll just do the same thing again and make a more stable portal - what could be easier! Isn't that right, Alphys?”

“M-most certainly,” the scientist said, twiddling with a crumpled drawing sheet and glancing worriedly at the computer screen. Whatever was happening on it now, Lars guessed he didn't have much time…

It wasn’t right to waste it on all the "buts" and "ifs". It wasn’t right to make the others doubt how important was a job they had done. There was something far more important that Lars absolutely had to do before he left the Underground. Something that would probably leave a deep wound in his soul forever. What he had always hated…

He had to say goodbye.

“Papyrus-”

“Lars, I-”

They both fell silent, smiling awkwardly and apologizing at the same time for interrupting each other. The pause hung in the air, diligently cooled by the air conditioning and ventilation in the office. Despite the cartoonishly amusing situation, a fleeting smile slipped off Lars' face when, instead of confident and cheerful Papyrus, he saw his pale shadow, droopy and devastated.

“I…” the skeleton frowned and shook his head briefly, clearly demonstrating this was not how he had planned to begin. “It was a good adventure! I had a lot of fun with you, Lars.”

“Yeah… Me too.”

The words sounded somewhat hollow. Lars couldn't believe he was actually saying them. Maybe… maybe all of this is just a dream? Or maybe Alphys had made a mistake? Maybe some of the screws will come loose in the process, or the device wouldn't work at all! Maybe they should've checked this on some apple first, and then…

No, no. Alphys was sure that everything will works as it should, and he was just looking for excuses. Excuses to stick around at least a little longer.

“Pap, if it wasn't for you, I don't think I'd have survived even one day here. Not to mention actually going home,” Lars rubbed the back of his head, hoping it'll make his brain work better. “You have no idea how grateful I am. For everything…”

“Oh, it’s nothing! I was happy to help…”

Stupid silence again. The pirate racked his brain as best he could, but still had no idea what to say… And at the same time, there was so much he wanted to say! In an effort to express all his emotions at once, Lars clung to everything and only got more confused, making it impossible for himself to form his thoughts into sentences. But he needed it so much now! To say something, anything, stupid, meaningless, the most idiotic reassuring phrase in the world…!

But before he could say anything, Papyrus jerked forward and hugged him. Lars glazed over in a wave of horror – the realization that he would never see him again – and stood stunned for a few long seconds, trying to cope with his anxious heartbeat. But finally, his hands that hovered over Papyrus' ribcage dropped, and Lars hugged him tightly in response, pressing his nose against his cold skull.

“Pap, look…” his goddamn voice was trembling. “Your pasta was awful. Why don't I… teach you how to make it someday, okay?”

The skeleton laughed softly and sobbed, his face pressed even harder into Lars' shoulder. His fingers clutched so desperately at the sweatshirt that the fabric beneath them creaked.

“You're awful, you dork! But… okay, it's a deal. Someday…”

After a moment, Papyrus slowly loosened his grip, stepped back, and took the whimpering dog in his arms. Lars gently rubbed the animal behind his white fluffy ear, glancing furtively at the skeleton whose tired eyes were downcast. He probably didn't have the strength to keep his head straight… And though Lars’ soul was torn about having to leave him like this, the time was running out. He still had to say goodbye to everyone else…

“Sans, I believe you asked for your sweatshirt back,” Lars said, starting to pull it off. But the skeleton emerged from the darkness, put his hand on his forearm and shook his head.

“Nah. Take it with you.”

“But you said…”

“It smells like stardust now. And I have an allergy apparently, so… No, thanks. Just keep it. As a memento.” 

His voice sounded soft and calm as usual, as if he was just making casual conversation rather than saying goodbye forever. Still, there was a sadness lurking somewhere deep inside that made it even harder for Lars…

“Okay. Thank you, Sans…”

“You better take good care of it, kid. It's one of my favorite sweatshirts, in case you haven't noticed.”

“I will. I'm always careful with things, especially memorabilia. Honestly… Even in a hundred years it'll be as good as new, I promise!”

“Heh. It sure will.”

“L-Lars, the device is ready!” Alphys suddenly announced in a loud voice. His heart skipped a beat. “I n-need you to stand on this platform!”

“This one? Uh, yes, of course, right away, I just, um…”

The pirate hesitated, glancing from skeleton brothers to the device already signaling that the program was ready to be used. He didn't have time. Catastrophically didn't have time to say everything he wanted to say. Didn't do everything he wanted to do… Gathering the rest of his will, he turned to the scientist with a pleading look:

“Alphys, are you sure you can't fix the radio? It's just that, well, it would be so convenient to leave some sort of connection. You could let me know if you were successful with the portal. And if you need anything, my crew and I could bring it to you in a flash… Or we could try to break the barrier outside!”

Lars was talking so fast that the words kept tripping over each other. He hurried to put as much as he could into his speech in such a limited time frame, before his overwhelming feelings threw him off balance. Watching his torment, Alphys sighed deeply and finally adjusted the glasses that had slid down her nose.

“I'll… try. I can't p-promise anything, but I'll try to do something about it. Come to think of it, a connection with someone on the outside would really come in handy…”

“Oh he's just afraid of missing us in his dumb Space!” Undyne said mockingly and nudged him with her elbow. “Am I right, punk?”

Lars nodded in complete seriousness and looked into her face, no longer able to resist the despair pressing down on him and the spasm clutching his chest. Right now he didn't care if she thought he was weak or not.

“I am… Honestly, I think I already miss you all…”

“Aw, geez, come on! You didn't cry even when you fought me! Why are you crying now?”

“I'm sorry,” he quickly ran his hand over his eyes, but it was no use. The moment when he could've stopped the tears was lost forever. “I just… It’s a shame we didn't get to cook together one more time. I… I had an awful lot of fun that day. Even with the fact that you almost burned us down… I haven't had this much fun in a long time, really! And I… I… I'm going to miss you terribly, Dyne…”

The smile immediately disappeared from Undyne’s face but she turned away before any real emotion could come out. Lars smiled understandingly through his tears. A strong monster like her shouldn't have regrets, right?

She should talk to someone about it. Maybe Papyrus will be able to fix it. Who knows…

“Don't forget to take this with you.”

Lars looked at the shabby old backpack Papyrus handed him. Oh yes. He'd already forgot all about it…

“My forgetfulness has never been so fatal. I swear I'm in serious trouble without you, Pap.”

“You just need to exercise your memory! Just remember to do it every day…”

“All right, are you r-ready? On the count of three, I'm p-pushing the button. Try not to breathe too much during the t-teleport!”

“Umm… why?”

“Well, just in case! You never know what's in those p-pocket dimensions, right…?”

Alphys chuckled awkwardly – she'd obviously read about something like that in another sci-fi book that had fallen from the surface. Lars couldn't hold back a smile. How she can be so brilliant and so naive at the same time…

“Got it. Thank you, Alphys, you're the best. I'm forever in your debt.”

“Oh. C-come on, you…”

“I guess this is really the end, huh? I… I don't know what else to say…”

“You don't have to say anything. Words are just unnecessary noise.”

“Just promise you'll be okay.”

“And d-don’t forget to say hi to your c-crew from us…”

“Can't believe it took them this long to put up with you!”

Standing on the teleportation platform, Lars took a long look at the four monsters who had become such close friends to him in such a short time. Their sincere smiles and attempts to cheer him up made his heart ache even more, but Lars forced himself to smile back, masking the unbearable longing that was tearing his soul apart.

He wanted to go back. He wanted to stay!

But there was only one choice to make.

“Papyrus… Maybe…”

The skeleton shook his head slowly and looked up at him, smiling broadly and brightly.

“You really must go.

…Be safe, Lars.”

***

Sometimes Lars wondered if he would ever be able to visit his own pocket dimension. What would it be like? How would he feel? Well, he didn't know if the place he was thrown into right now was anything like it, but he was sure of one thing: this feeling, right now, was really strange… He was forcefully pulled through something dense – as if straight through the ground to the surface. And it was completely unlike the void that Lars had fallen into when Flowey killed him. Even the darkness was different: thick, impenetrable. Viscous.

Besides, the darkness wasn't completely bottomless. Something was shattering it – something like tiny electrical discharges? Thin flashes crackled through the darkness, flickered for a while, illuminating the small space around them, and then faded, only to reappear a little farther away. Lars squinted and stared at them, but couldn't determine the nature of the flashes. Lightning or electricity? A glint on some surface? Whatever it was, the discharges grew brighter and wider over time, and soon Lars realized one thing. He was getting closer to them…

They seemed to be simple white flashes at first, but eventually they were filled with color and shape, glittered and sparkled in the darkness. And soon… they stopped disappearing. They filled the darkness, forming a shape. Lars kept straining his eyes, trying to discern something familiar, explainable, and before he knew it, *this* took over his attention completely. The process of teleportation fascinated him less than the questions that arose.

What is it?

Why is it here and… where is here?

Is it alive?

Could he talk to it?

Could he touch it?

Suddenly, as if by a snap of the fingers, the silence was broken by voices. Hundreds. Thousands. Millions. Screaming, calling, beckoning. Frightening and enchanting. So many… So many voices that his head was ready to burst into pieces! Unable to endure the sonic assault, Lars clapped his hands to his ears and stared ahead with eyes wide from horror at the multicolored mess that glowed and shimmered and stretched…

Reaching. Toward him.

With trembling hands.

Shattered fingers.

It did not attract Lars - Lars attracted it! And now it was trying to reach for the object of its interest, trying to attract with its beautiful shimmer and was moving toward him, shouting

“Stop…”

screaming

"Please stop…"

begging

"SHUT UP!!!"

Something ripped him from the thick darkness and knocked all thought out of his head. A sharp, deafening pain pierced through his skull – but Lars felt unspeakable relief, finally diving into the saving silence. When he regained consciousness, there were some murky shadows, fidgeting over him, and some nasty ringing in his ears. But when it subsided and changed to voices – this time only five voices, seemingly closer, not reeking of threat or fear or entreaty – Lars realized that he was safe now.

On Earth.

Chapter Text

The endless sound of raindrops was filling the cave. The puddles trembling beneath them reflected the light of the shimmering crystals on the walls, casting glares in every direction: on the wet, shiny walls, the moss, and the stalagmites that stretched desperately upward, toward the dark ceiling. Everything around seemed alive and breathing, doing its own, however insignificant, work. Everything was back to its old, familiar state, as if nothing had changed. The same long narrow corridors of caves, the same endless rain, the same light ringing of crystals… Only Papyrus did not feel the same.

He sat on the ledge, apathetically looking down at his feet, completely oblivious to the wall of rain pouring down from above. His clothes were soaked through, pulling him down and causing him to hunch over, hanging his head lower and lower. Papyrus did not want to think about anything, but he was too weak and upset to resist the thoughts arising in his head: about what he had said or done wrong, about what had happened in the past few days, about what would happen next… It was so exhausting that he wanted to scream and bang his hands on the walls overgrown with mushrooms and moss, but continued to sit motionless, unable even to look away from the one point he had been staring this whole time.

For a moment, he just wanted to dissolve in the rain. To become its drops, to be lost somewhere among the shivering puddles. How nice it would be to become something inanimate, simple, insignificant. To live in its own way. Never to change. Never to regret anything…

Soon, however, the raindrops stopped hitting his skull and shoulders, and the noise above him changed to a muffled echo. Papyrus slowly looked up, and found a large red umbrella above him… Unsure of what he was hoping for, he turned immediately – but meeting Undyne’s wary gaze, he dropped his head again.

Foolish. How foolish. How could he ever hope…

“Pap, don't sit in the rain like that. You'll catch a cold.”

The skeleton opened his mouth to reply, but turned away without saying anything. Words were getting lodged in his throat, numbing his whole body, clouding his eyes. It was better not to say anything at all. For once in his life, just made it easier for himself.

Undyne paused for a moment, looking out over the narrow road, which was flooded with rain.

“Can I sit with you?”

He simply nodded in response. This silence was tearing her heart apart, but there was nothing Undyne could do about it. She wasn't even sure if Papyrus would talk to her now, but she couldn't help herself and followed him. Because she was afraid. She didn't know why, but she was scared to the point of numbness, she wanted to see him now, to talk to him! To try, at least.

Still holding the umbrella so that it fully protected Papyrus from the rain, Undyne sat down beside him and cast another wary glance at him. Would there be any belated objections to her presence? Would there be any obvious signs of tension on his face? The last thing she wanted was to leave Papyrus alone with the heavy thoughts that were no doubt tearing his poor skull from within - but she wouldn't force him to keep her company either… Fortunately Papyrus wasn't going to drive her away, so Undyne dared to break the silence again:

“Missing him already?”

Papyrus tilted his head slightly. He probably wanted to nod, but this time he couldn't find the strength to do it.

“I know right? It became so quiet without him. Funny, I hadn't noticed all this silence before,” Undyne turned to face the road. The rain continued to drum methodically on the umbrella and the puddles, laughing at her pathetic attempts to talk. But as soon as she opened her mouth again, the long-awaited words finally touched her ears:

“Do you think he'll come back?”

Instead of feeling happy or at least relieved that she wouldn't have to talk to herself, Undyne flinched, dumbfounded by the question. Is that Papyrus asking? The same Papyrus who was eager to help the human out of here and was doing everything possible to do so? Who, with a smile on his face, said goodbye to him, assuring him that leaving the Underground was the only right choice for him? The same Papyrus asks now… will he come back?

“I… I don't think so? Sounds kind of illogical? I mean, he wanted to leave from the very beginning. His friends were waiting for him, all that fuss in space. You said it yourself. So why would he…”

The tears that began to gather in the corners of Papyrus’ eyes made Undyne pause halfway through the sentence and press her lips together into a thin line. That's wrong… She's saying something wrong! Her mind frantically flashed with options for how to correct the mistake, but choosing among them seemed simply impossible. What would Papyrus say in this situation? What words would he use to dispel someone else's sadness? How would he cheer them up, make them smile again, bring back the lost hope?

“Hey… Don't worry, Pap. Sure, the chances of him coming back are pretty low, but… Look, Alphys is gonna fix the radio! And you can talk for days on end! Then we'll build the teleporter and get to the surface, and then… it's quite possible he'll…”

No, no, no, all wrong. It wasn't working! His tears were still streaming down his face, falling and shattering on his lap, like a never-ending rain. And there was not the slightest hint of a smile… Damn it, Undyne was never good enough at this sort of thing! To inspire her guards to serve their kin is one thing. But to comfort someone as sensitive as Papyrus, in a situation like this…

The captain of the Royal Guard took a deep breath and stared unblinking at the puddles spreading beneath her feet. The rain fell more slowly, more lazily, as if to give itself a little respite before the new charge of many hours. Now that Undyne didn't have to raise her voice, it was much easier to talk. It was only a pity that the topic of conversation was too sad.

“I'm sorry. I wish I could promise you that he would come back, honestly! But it's too much like a fairy tale with a happy ending. And I haven't believed in fairy tales for a long time. You shouldn't either.”

Sobbing softly, Papyrus ran his fingers over his eyes and took several slow breaths and exhalations – a simple trick that always helped him calm down. Undyne waited, clutching the handle of the umbrella in her hand and worrying that the words she'd chosen still sounded too wrong. Too cruel. But she didn't know what else to say…

“No, I am sorry, Undyne… It was a very stupid question to begin with. I don't know what came over me. I didn't mean to bother you…”

“You never bother me, Papyrus,” she protested. “And it wasn't a stupid question. Just a little emotional, that's all.”

Papyrus sobbed again, staring longingly into his hands. The fabric on his gloves became dark because of the rain, and even visually, they felt heavy, like gauntlets. Perhaps that’s why his hands were shaking so much.

“He'd only just left, and I’m already falling apart… I don't want to do anything, I don't want to think, I don't even want to breathe. And I promised I'd be stronger! What kind of a hero am I, huh? What would he say if he saw me now?”

“That he misses you terribly, too?”

This time Undyne didn't have to waste a second thinking – the words rolled off her tongue, causing Papyrus to let out a sad chuckle, wrapping his trembling arms around himself. But he smiled. Barely noticeably. But still…

“Whether you're a hero or someone waiting for a hero, we all have our moments of weakness, Papyrus,” Undyne continued to say what her heart told her to say. “And absolutely everyone has the right to be emotional. Don't be ashamed of it. Even if you understand that letting him go was the right thing to do, but deep down you regret it… it’s okay. No one will judge you, you know? After all, you're not the only one who's devastated after he's gone…”

“Really?”

Undyne nodded, “Of course! Your brother will never show it to you, but believe me, he misses the human, too. In fact, he misses him so much he's not even in the mood for his own stupid puns. And Alphys? She liked him from the very beginning, you've seen it! And now that he's gone, she's sad, too. So…”

“And… you?” Papyrus interrupted her gently. “Do you miss him too?”

The amphibia fell silent for a while, pondering the question. She still dared not turn to face her friend, but felt his timid and at the same time testing gaze on her. And then she gave up, exhaling in response:

“Yeah… me too. I know, I know, it sounds like I've gone soft! Getting attached to some pathetic little human, geez!” she snorted contemptuously. “But, well. This pathetic little human was so nice. And surprisingly brave for being just a human. So I think… I can make an exception for him.”

Papyrus said nothing. From the corner of her eye, Undyne saw his chest rise, but instead of uttering any speech, he just clasped his hands together, placed them in his lap, and stared into the void in front of him. He was no longer trembling. He wasn't crying. But the conversation was no longer going well either… Undyne bit her lip, leaving a gash in her skin with her sharp teeth, but that wasn't worrying her a bit – she could only think of how fake her confession must have sounded. How her tone, movement, and choice of words made it easy to see how much she hated to admit her weakness! But she was honest. Telling Papyrus that he had a right to be weak, only to then immediately refute the fact that she might be weak as well, was foolish. Selfish. Mentally reassuring herself that she'd done the right thing, Undyne wondered how to steer the conversation in another, less sad direction…

In fact, she should have to take Papyrus home. Make him take a warm shower, give him dry clothes and scalding hot tea, but…

“Undyne, may I ask you a question?”

It was hard not to flinch when she heard his voice right under her ear.

“Ah… Yeah, sure, Papyrus. Ask me anything you want.”

“Even if it's too late to ask?” the skeleton fidgeted uneasily. “I mean, I should've asked this question much earlier, but I don't think I was ready then…”

“But you're ready now, aren't you? Then go on, Papyrus. Ask.”

“Why did you decide to take Lars to the King if you knew in advance that you wouldn't let him go anyway?”

Undyne sighed softly. Her heart was pounding in her chest, and she felt cramped and stifled for some reason. But it was worth confessing: waiting for this conversation to finally take place was far more frightening.

“Because… I wasn't sure, you know? I was acting on emotion, not by instruction,” she admitted. “I wasn't really sure he was going to attack, I just…”

“I don't understand. It's not like you, Undyne,” Papyrus' intonation betrayed his slight smile, but the amphibia didn't feel any better. “Tell me honestly, what was bothering you? Did I say something wrong to you the other day? Did I do something wrong?”

“What makes you so sure you're the problem, Pap? It was my idiotic decision! And I've already admitted I was wrong… Catastrophically wrong!” Undyne twitched, as if the emotions overwhelming her were forcing her to leap to her feet. But she had to hold the umbrella over her friend, so the movement went nowhere. Except that it spooked Papyrus a little bit. “I shouldn't have done that, even thought about it! It's an ugly, low action that I can't justify in any way! I'm terribly sorry…”

“No, Undyne… Wait. You did what you had to do,” muttered the skeleton, momentarily confused. “Besides, it ended well, didn't it?”

“That doesn't take away from the fact that I deceived you. I promised you that I would do anything to help…”

“And you did! After all… Lars returned to his friends in large part because of you! You suggested a plan with the teleporter. You dug through Waterfall to find all the things Alphys needed… And don't tell me Sans did half the work, I won't believe it!”

Undyne chuckled softly in response. Papyrus’ voice grew more confident with each word, and by the end he seemed oblivious to how upset he had been about what she had done. His sudden desire to protect her from herself was so sweet… but also incredibly painful. Undyne lowered her head, hiding her face from her friend, and asked:

“Why… why are you doing this, Papyrus? Why are you making excuses for me? I've been so mean to both of you. And if I've repaid Lars with some help… How can I apologize to you for betraying, I…”

“There's no need to apologize to me,” Papyrus interrupted her softly again. She squeezed the edge of the ledge they were sitting on with her fingers as hard as she could. If she had tried a little harder, the stone would undoubtedly have cracked! But Papyrus' next words made her suddenly lose all her strength, “Because I started it first. Do you remember when you came to Snowdin early in the morning just to make sure I was all right? Did you know that at that very moment a human was in our house? That I lied to you, deliberately hid him from you, led him to the castle, hoping we wouldn't meet you on the way?”

“And you think we're even now?” Undyne smiled sadly. “You just did what you had to do…”

The skeleton answered with the same smile, “And now you're making excuses for me.”

“Ah. Yes, I suppose I am.”

Undyne awkwardly rubbed the back of her head with her hand. It wasn't working… Obviously, they both wanted things to go back to normal! They both wanted to trust and rely on each other again. To feel as comfortable in each other's company as they had felt before. But they were just jumping from one abyss to the other, arguing, getting confused, and it has no end in sight. But at least they were trying… right?

Apparently Papyrus was thinking the same thing, because after a while he sighed and spoke again, choosing his words slowly and carefully:

“You know… I did feel betrayed. When you confessed that, despite the promise you'd made to me, you were planning to take a human's soul, I was so angry. I was… disappointed in you, Undyne. And I was so blinded by anger, I completely forgot that I had lied myself. But now I see. And I'm sorry I put you through all this.”

Papyrus looked expectantly at his friend, as if inviting her to make her move. Undyne pressed her lips together tightly and thought for a moment before she began:

“I was… upset. Very upset. After that conversation in the lab, I tried pulling myself out of that abyss of anger, but nothing worked. I'm not sure what made me more angry – the fact that you were helping our enemy, or the fact that you didn't trust me. Of course my first thought was to protect Asgore, to get the last soul, and to free the monsters from our prison. But I think… jealousy was one of the reasons I decided to take such a desperate step…”

“I was wrong not to tell you about Lars. I should've trusted you more.”

“And I should've tried to understand the reasons for your decision, not be angry with you. And even more so, not trying to do something to spite you…”

“Still, there's no point in sitting around thinking about what *should* have been done, don’t you think? One good human once told me that there's nothing wrong with friends fighting sometimes – as long as we can find the strength and courage to cool down and talk about it!”

“You know, Pap. Those are wonderful words. I couldn't have said it better.”

Finally Papyrus turned to face her. Undyne straightened immediately, meeting his gaze, which made her feel so light that she was ready to fly. She hadn't felt this way in a very, very long time…

“Papyrus, forgive me for trying to kill your friend.”

“It happens. I forgive you, Undyne!” he smiled back cheerfully, and moved closer, leaning his head on her shoulder. She took the umbrella with her other hand so that she could hug him, gently pressing her fingers into his rain-soaked sweater. It was still urgent to get him inside, but…

Just a little longer. Just to sit like this.

“And I'm sorry. I'll never hide anything from you again, I promise!” Papyrus added. 

“Come on, Pap, I forgave you a long time ago. And you don't have to promise me all that. Situations are different, I understand, so…”

“No, I don't want to lie anymore,” the skeleton protested, rubbing his cheekbone against her shoulder. “Let's at least try to make sure there are never, ever any secrets between us. Okay?”

“Okay, Papyrus. Let's try.”

Undyne smiled warmly, holding him as tightly as she could, deliberately ignoring his muffled laughter and feeble attempts to get out of this tight embrace. Hell no, he owed her a couple of those, at least! 

The rain finally began to get heavier again. But the light droplets were flying in all directions, splitting at the halfway point, and soon the corridors of Waterfall were completely covered in a fine, soaring drizzle. The rare passersby put away their umbrellas and looked around in amazement, unable to remember the last time they had seen such a thing.

It looked like something had changed after all.

Chapter Text

The Infinite darkness.

Vast expanse of interstellar space, countless miles of emptiness wrapping everything. It appeared that nothing in the world could break it, fill it with sounds, images and significance… However, amazingly enough, the infinite darkness of space wasn't empty. It was brimming with hazy gas clouds, hovering in space and intersected by flickers of electromagnetic radiation. Stars sparkled in the clear streams, lit by cosmic rays and wandering particles: billions, quintillions of glowing dots, arranged in various pockets of darkness, creating nebulae and clusters. 

Bright white stars, the ones commonly referred to as guiding stars, twinkled and blinked at each other. They vanished from one location in space only to reappear in another, as if in a playful game of catch-up. Red stars, tiny as pinheads, connected with one another through their beams and transformed into constellations. Bluish stars - barely visible, like smoldering sparks, surrounded by a translucent haze - danced in the nebulae and merged into a continuous soft glow. A canvas of stars. Galaxy.

In the far distance, a comet moved through the sky, leaving a bright trail that could be seen even without a telescope. A chilly blue-grey light, sometimes dull and sometimes shiny, surrounded the comet, giving the impression it was hovering in the middle of a serene river. Occasionally, this stillness was disrupted by turbulent swirling patterns, causing the comet's tail to shimmer and sway, extending further and creating gorgeous pearly waves across the cosmic sky. A truly exceptional spectacle.

Too bad that Lars wasn't interested in the stunning views of space at the moment. Actually, he didn't even give a shi-

"Fucking useless piece of… box! Work… Come on, work! Work, damn it!!"

The pirate struggled to resist hitting the station in frustration. The interference from the speaker and the complete disregard for the request to search for coordinates were incredibly annoying to him. However, it wasn't a justification for damaging the highly expensive equipment - particularly because doing so would cause even more problems in the future.

"Come on, please! The coordinates are there, I know it! Let me just lock onto them and set a course already! Is it too much to ask?!"

"Seems like the captain is approaching the bargaining phase," Rhodonite sighed, sitting in the co-pilot's chair. For the last fifteen minutes she had been watching Lars helplessly, while he had been fighting with the navigation console, hissing and cursing under his breath. "What’s next?"

"Depression," one of the Rutile twins muttered. "Although I think he's already there."

"You think it's too late for us to do anything about it?"

"I'm not sure." said the other twin. "You want to try first?"

The three of them spoke quietly trying not to make the captain even more nervous. They didn't need to, though: Lars didn't pay the slightest attention to their conversation. It was difficult for him to focus when he already entered into a rage and had many other thoughts running through his head. Should he try this combination? Or delve deeper into the classified logbook records? C'mon, where could everything have disappeared to?!

Papyrus told him to go back to his space adventures. That he would be happy to know that Lars was doing well and was among his friends, but… The problem was that some of his friends remained on a far-off, unknown planet encircled by a continuous line of asteroids and space junk. Somewhere deep beneath layers of soil, rocks and an impenetrable barrier. On a planet, the coordinates of which had disappeared for some stupid reason! Leaving Lars without the slightest chance of returning. Without any way to do anything for them. 

Of course, there was still hope that Alphys would fix the radio so she could contact him later as promised. But for now, he had to wait and carry on with his adventure that had been so suddenly interrupted. And Lars tried to, honestly tried, though the idea seemed wild to him. But even when their mission had ultimately reached its anticipated end, Lars did not intend to rejoice. Why bother? By that point, he didn't care one bit about any of this crap! No… How could he be happy while his mind was filled with thoughts of his friends left behind in such distress? He longed to return to the long corridors of caves, with their bitter cold, endless rain and volcanic heat. However, returning empty-handed was senseless and dangerous. How could he help the monsters if he'd be locked in their dungeon again? 

Lars exhaled loudly, tired from the conflicting thoughts in his head, and ducked under the console panel, apparently hoping to find a problem or coordinates there. He felt so confused, exhausted and outrageously stupid, unable to come up with a solution! Perhaps Steven, with his experience, could give him some advice… But Steven was away, travelling to find himself. As for the others… What about them? Since Lars went into space, Beach City has changed a lot. It seems like the gems have plenty to do. Well, he wasn't relying on them much anyway.

“I predict the captain will be haggling with the console soon,” Padparadscha announced without enthusiasm as she floated past her friends with a box of tools in her hands. As she lurked on the lower deck of the ship, where the engine room was located, Rhodonite shrugged her shoulders in response.

“He already did. You're a minute and a half late.”

“Captain, don't you think that's a little pointless? Maybe we should try something else?” The twins moved closer, cautiously patting Lars' back and keeping a worried eye on him. But for the pirate, lost in his own thoughts, even this careful gesture invaded his personal space, causing him to jump and hit his head on the overhead screen. 

“What else? Are there any other ideas?” He asked, rubbing his bruised head.

“Well, first of all, stop breaking our ship,” the left Rutile replied, running her palm affectionately over the navigation panel. While Lars rolled his eyes, the other sister continued the thought: “We understand your feelings, Captain, and believe me, we want to help them too! But we have to face the fact that the coordinates have been lost. Perhaps there was some kind of malfunction or something beyond our knowledge…”

“Don't you dare bring the divine providence. You know how much it pisses me off.”

The twins let out a sigh, but wisely decided not to say anything. Meanwhile, Lars emerged from beneath the panel and began to straighten his back. He desperately clung to the hope that it was still possible to retrieve the coordinates from the program's history. Yet, he was close enough to accept the truth. But… Now, how to find a nameless planet, lost in the middle of limitless space, without any coordinates or landmarks? What could be more pointless than that? Lars could only recall a dense asteroid ring and fragments of space debris hanging in the upper atmosphere. Overall, not much. So was there anything he could do, or was inaction his only option?

He wanted to hit something so bad right now…

“Don't lose hope, Captain… You always say it yourself… Hope is the strongest driving force.”

The pirate turned around, immediately meeting his eyes with Fluorite's calm, soft gaze. The fusion of the six gems, as if reading his thoughts, smiled her usual motherly smile, emerging from the lower level of the ship along with Padparadscha. She then smoothly approached him like a huge graceful caterpillar. Lars felt his timidity overpowering him beforehand, but controlling his sharp tongue was not so easy sometimes.

“That's not me saying that, that's some other idiots saying. If you ask me, hope is just meaningless crap…”

“Don't you dare say that, Captain!” Rhodonite exclaimed, stopping the critical remarks before they had even begun. “Without hope, so many things would fail! Ships would not return home, and loved ones would not reunited to those who have been waiting for them. Even we wouldn't have escaped the oppression of the Diamonds if we hadn't kept the hope of change! Of course, hope is not the only force in the Universe that can change destinies, but… it's much harder to live without it. Don't you agree?”

Lars didn't have the nerve to answer. Instead, he slumped into the nearest chair, arms folded over the armrests. The strength that had been left in him on stubbornness and anger, suddenly vanished like a distant bird in the morning mist. Only fatigue and frustration remained. And, probably, guilt - because Lars not only didn't do a damn thing to save the monsters, but also by his behavior and senseless actions he made the crew worry about him… He should've lowered the drama level a bit, even though he wanted to keep being angry and grumpy and acting like a total asshole.

“Well, shit… I mean, alright,” he waved his hand lazily. “I guess I'm just wasting our time. It would be better to prepare well and wait for them to contact us. Right?”

“Yeah, that's right!” Rhodonite clapped her hands together enthusiastically. “And now that you're mentioned it, I suggest we visit Enceladus 2, the largest technology market in the galaxy!”

“And Ganymede… doesn't count anymore?” Fluorite asked casually, entering some data on the navigation console. Lars craned his neck to see them, but whatever command Fluorite used, they were always just meaningless symbols to him. Still, it wasn't like she was just doing it out of boredom…

“Well, maybe not the largest,” Rhodonite corrected herself. “But there's plenty of rarities there too, isn't there?”

“And it's not as far away as Ganymede,” the Rutile twins agreed. “Shall we go, Captain? It's better than sitting around doing nothing!”

“Yeah, sure, I… Hey, Fluorite, what are you doing?”

Only now did the whole crew finally notice how absorbed Lars was in what their flight engineer was doing. And only then did they notice what was going on right in front of their noses as they talked. Fluorite smiled and gave her captain a mysterious look. The console crackled quietly as it processed the request, and еру monitor displayed the unpacking and downloading of some new files. As the processing rate approached ninety percent, Lars could hardly restrain himself from breaking the lingering silence. Curiosity was tearing him up inside.

“Oh, no big deal… Padparadscha and I just modified the console's operation…”

“Really? And what exactly are these changes?”

“We added three new cameras and updated the software,” Padparadscha began to explain. “With the additional cameras we can take into account the ship's location relative to the nearest planets and also measure coordinates in space using optical methods! Isn't that great?”

“I didn't get any of your explanations, but sounds cool," Lars nodded. To be honest, he almost went brain dead, but really tried to understand Padparadscha’s words. Luckily, Fluorite decided to supplement the information with slightly simpler words:

“Now if we are repeating the previous trajectory of movement, even at a considerable distance… The program will detect previously known coordinates…”

“…Even if they were irretrievably lost?”

The signal indicated the end of processing, and Fluorite turned to the screen to type a few more commands. Apparently, her body was a few steps ahead of her head, because it took her much longer to respond to Lars' question.

“Yes, Captain. You got it right…”

“That's brilliant! Why didn't you say sooner?!” The Rutile twins exclaimed in amazement, ahead of the captain, who was about to have a similar reaction.

“I was just about to…” Fluorite replied calmly, nodding at the console screen. ”After I checked that the program was working… I couldn't wait to share the news.”

“Fluorite, you're really something, you know?” Lars jumped up from his chair, immediately feeling a surge of strength. Was this a new hope? Whatever to call it, the main thing that it made him want to act! The chances of a return, which he had been planning almost from the very first minute he had opened his eyes on Earth, were increasing again. “Then… let's do as we've decided! Let's go to Enceladus 2 and pick up some useful gizmos, then head back to the asteroid ring. Perhaps, with the new, updated program of the location, luck will smile on us…”

He said the last phrase in a low voice, afraid, however ridiculous it might sound, to jinx it. No matter how much they circled the spot where they'd received the distress signal last time, the scanners didn't want to find anything. The radars were silent. No reaction of the system designed to detect all sorts of astronomical objects - from small satellites to giant planets. As if there had never been anything nearby. Just a lifeless swath of space. An empty hole in the universe.

It was unknown how, but the planet managed to avoid accidental detection. They needed exact coordinates. That's the only way…

“Rhodonite, set the coordinates for Enceladus 2 and plot a course for us. Let's see how long this trip takes us… Padparadscha, I'm going to need you there as a technical advisor, so get ready too.”

“If you don't mind, Captain… I'd like to visit the market, too,” Fluorite said as she was passing by. “We could use a couple more system upgrades…”

“Sure, let's all go in there,” Lars agreed, strode briskly to his captain's chair and sat down with one leg over the other. “Put on your best suits, ladies! We're going shopping.”

Chapter Text

Enceladus-2 was in the constellation of Pegasus, right in the middle of the triangle formed by Enif, Markab and Sheat, the three brightest giants in the constellation. Whoever set up a mall in this sector was clearly a shrewd businessman. The place flocked by millions of tourists from all corners of the galaxy because it has something for everybody: many beautiful sites, the close proximity to the sources of most supplies. Of course, due to its small size, Enceladus-2 was not destined to become the largest trading point in the Universe, but it was lured by its convenient location and the high probability of finding quite valuable items. Including some not-so-legal ones…

That's what Lars was thinking about as the Sun Incinerator emerged from the vortex portal and began to approach the planet's orbit. Leaving the captain's chair, Lars looked at Enceladus 2 through the windshield, noting to himself that life on this planet was still going strong: the main shipyard was full of supply ships, and the visitor parking lots were not empty either… Well, all the better. It was always easier to get lost in a pile of other people's ships than to try to find a secluded spot in a vacant lot.

"Don't forget to recharge while we're here," he reminded, as everyone was preparing to leave. Weapons were forbidden to take to the market, but the Off colors had long since found a way around that prohibition: you could always hide a couple of tiny bombs in a pack of gum or wear a stun ring that the detectors wouldn't react to. Safety first, especially when your face regularly appears in headlines saying the whole galaxy is looking for them. "And bring extra fuel tanks. Something tells me that traveling around the asteroid chain will take some time."

"Will do, Captain," the twins said. "How long do you plan to stay?"

"An hour, that should be enough. Fluorite, can you handle it?"

"I'm only interested in a couple of places, Captain…" the fusion smiled, slowly disappearing behind the door leading to the ship's exit. Rhodonite followed.

"I'm going with Fluorite," she announced. "Last time she had… a little trouble negotiating and…"

"Got it. Be careful you two."

Rhodonite nodded and, quickening her pace, bounded down the ramp with the flight engineer. Lars paused for a moment, watching thoughtfully as the Rutile twins moved between the stations, setting the locks on all the work panels. Even though the twins would not leave the ship for more than fifteen minutes to replenish fuel and power, there was no way they could do without it: the guards on Enceladus 2 were there purely as a matter of fact, and in reality they were not at all concerned about anyone's vehicle being stolen from the parking lot. Especially a pirate ship. Especially one they themselves had once hijacked.

“Are you coming, Captain?” called Padparadscha, who was waiting for him downstairs. Lars shook his head, dismissed his thoughts and went quickly down to her, sweeping the floor with the hem of his cloak.

***

An hour wasn't much time to get around the local market, but Lars had never liked being stuck in shopping malls, neither on Earth nor in space. He didn't like procrastination either, so he and Padparadscha wasted no time, moving briskly through the crowds and looking at the signs of the many stores, searching for the right one. Fortunately, they knew exactly where to go for all sorts of rarities: down the road to the left, straight and then right at the next intersection. The place was hidden by a multitude of potted alien plants and paintings, obviously stolen from all corners of the universe. If you didn't know the exact location of the shop, you could spend all day walking past the door, mistaking it for a decorative wall, which only played into the owner's hands. It just so happened that she didn't like uninvited guests…

“Lady Padparadscha, Captain, what a pleasant surprise! It's been a long time since you stopped by.”

A low female voice followed the tinkling of the bells above the door. It took Lars a moment to recognize the figure of Citrine, wrapped in a colorful robe with a wide sash. It had been a long time since they had last seen each other, but it was a pirate's profession not to hang around in such crowded places.

"It's good to see you among the living, Citrine," Lars smiled almost sincerely. "How's business going?"

"It would be even better if my customers didn't waste my time with small talk," she answered. "Get to the point, Cap. You're obviously in a hurry to get out of here since you landed.”

Lars nodded. That's why she was such a pleasure to work with. While he was descending the stairs to the back of the shop, trying not to hit the shelves, Padparadscha had already stopped in front of the G-shaped counter with the owner standing behind it. Lars had never visited this place without her. Apart from the fact that Padparadscha knew the technical specifications much better than he did, Citrine was always a bit more cooperative in her presence and offered good discounts. Whatever the reason, when Lars found out about it, he started to take advantage of it shamelessly. It might be pretty mean, but…

They're pirates, after all.

"So, what made you risk your freedom and health to come to Enceladus 2, my friends?" Citrine asked. "Have you run out of nanobombs?"

"No, we still have plenty, thank you" Padparadscha nodded at Lars. "Whether we buy anything from you today depends on whether you can answer the captain's question."

"You mean you flew all the way here for questions? That's nice. Still, information doesn't come for free. I hope you understand that."

Lars, who had just approached the counter, leaned on his elbow on the counter and looked at the merchandise boredly, trying to think of a way to start a conversation. The question wasn't anything out of the ordinary, but it probably implied big expenses. Especially if he showed how important it was to him.

"The first two minutes of conversation are free, the rest goes into the total check, blablabla, I know your rules, Citrine. Now, let me describe a… hypothetical situation."

"Go ahead, make it short."

Of course.

"Suppose we encountered a barrier of unknown nature. Some kind of ancient magic probably dampens radio waves unless you use a good amplifier. Immune to physical damage, magic of all kinds. And only the possessor of a certain kind of… uh… soul?"

"Soul?" Citrine's face twisted with mockery. "And where could you have stumbled upon such a thing? Purely hypothetical."

"I think Captain meant to say that the barrier can only be broken by the one who set it up," Padparadscha corrected. "A sort of customized lockdown. Isn't that right?"

"I guess?" Lars nodded absently. "Sort of."

"It's all right, Captain, I'm here for just such occasions," the gem smiled, patted his arm, and turned to Citrine again. "Earthlings can be quite florid at times, can't they?"

"I don't often deal with Earthlings, Lady Padparadscha. But I suppose you should know better."

"Yes, yes, Pad has had a lot of experience with Earthlings. So what do you think? Is there any way to break down a barrier like that?"

The pirate turned away, hiding his nervousness behind a feigned interest in an alien statue on the opposite wall. Judging by the lingering silence, Citrine was indeed thinking about his 'hypothetical situation'. Or she was gauging his interest in advance in order to demand the craziest possible fee. Doing his best to look bored, Lars glanced back at the merchandise and carelessly poked finger into his ear. Of course he didn't expect free advice, he just hoped to get away with spending less than usual - they hadn't had time to make much money. 

As his equanimity began to crack, Citrine lifted the lid of the counter and stepped outside, her heels thumping on the thick carpet. The pirates followed, keeping a respectable distance - they were also well aware of Citrine's dislike of invading personal space. She stopped at the wall where a huge abstract painting hung and entered some data into a small panel on the side... A moment later there was a click and the painting turned over, revealing the second, secret part: a thick protective glass behind which several weapons were displayed. Lars whistled.

"Wow. This is new…"

"And you thought you knew all the secrets of this place?" Citrine grinned and tapped the barrier with her knuckles. The thickness of the glass was such that not even the slightest clatter followed. "I thought your hypothetical situation would be just right to introduce my latest addition. No block, no shield, no magic can resist the skills of this jewel! Believe me, you've never seen anything like it."

As if on command, Lars and Padparadscha lifted their heads and stared at the weapon Citrine pointed to with obvious pride. A two elbow long laser with a strong protective casing and a lever on the right side didn't look very impressive at first glance, but as far as Lars could remember, Citrine had never bragged about her wares like that.

"So what is it? Some kind of super-secret military development? A laser that could blow up Jupiter?"

"You guessed wrong, Captain. It's an ion separator. A very rare thing, let me tell you: you won't find another one of these models even in famous gun shops! Further development has been suspended due to internal disputes. The technology is kept top secret. Don't even ask me how I managed to get my hands on it."

"That's cool and all, but what does it do?" Lars asked.

"I was just getting to that part. The separator is based on charged particle acceleration technology…"

"Can I get a layman's explanation?"

Citrine nodded indulgently. But before she could begin the 'layman's explanation', Padparadscha interrupted:

"Particle acceleration? What's so special about that? You might as well have offered us a simple light weapon. Only it's ineffective against this kind of barrier."

"That's why I'm not offering you a simple light weapon," Citrine shook her head nonchalantly. "This separator disrupts the atomic and molecular structure of things. It separates positrons from electrons. To put it simply, if there is something in the world that cannot be destroyed, then with the help of the separator, it can be, you know… separated."

Lars raised his eyebrows, listening intently. Separate the barrier - in other words, literally take it apart molecule by molecule? It sounded complicated enough for him to understand, which meant… it might work. At least Alphys would like the idea.

"It's also capable of putting molecules together. As you may have noticed, there is a switch. Set the separator to merge mode and your barrier will be whole again, as if nothing had happened. A great way to cover your tracks and leave everyone wondering."

"Are you suggesting we use it to rob banks?" Lars snorted. He didn't want to return the barrier to its working state, so this function seemed useless. So he even managed a sincere expression of doubt. "What do you think, Pad?"

"The effect described is somewhat controversial, Captain. And as far as I know, it's the only experimental model. Citrine can't have got hold of the original if they've shut development down."

"Just suspended, Lady Padparadscha," she corrected calmly. "On the other hand, that's even better. Yes, the model is experimental, so it's unique. And besides, you're the first people I'm showing it to. It's a great opportunity to be one step ahead of the rest."

"Still sounds like buying a cat in a bag. I mean, we don't even know how well this separator works."

"Oh, I don't see any problem. You can test it right here."

Lars widened his eyes in surprise. But Citrine didn't wait for his reaction and quickly typed a new code into the panel, making the glass blink and disappear - just for a few seconds while she pulled out the separator. Then she turned on the spot and handed the weapon to the pirate, who almost buckled under its impressive weight. It was quite comfortable to hold, though.

"Try it on the statue in the corner over there."

"So you can demand compensation?" he narrowed his eyes. 

"Have you not been listening to me? The separator doesn't just destroy things, it can also put them back together again. Just try it. You'll see for yourself."

Lars pursed his lips skeptically, examining the weapon from different angles. The lever was already in split mode and the charge was one hundred percent, as if Citrine had prepared it in advance for the demonstration. Okay. Not that it wasn't interesting to try… Aiming the weapon directly at the statue, Lars slowly pulled the trigger, already mentally preparing for a banal beam of light to come out of it, blowing up the statue, the wall and maybe a few nearby shops. After all, there was a reason why the shopkeepers hadn't offered their customers to try out the weapon on the spot!

But contrary to expectation, the separator only vibrated in his hands, almost silently releasing a thin blob of blue plasma, upon contact with which the statue was flooded with light, trembled and… slowly split into two completely indistinguishable copies of itself. Pale and translucent, like two ghosts, they trembled in the air as Citrine slowly approached and walked through both copies with a confident, triumphant stride. The familiar mischievous grin on her thin lips.

He couldn't hide his astonishment.

"Set the separator to merge mode and fire in the same direction," she purred. Lars obeyed and watched, mesmerized, as the two translucent ghosts of the statue merged into a single, heavy and immobile piece of marble, just as it had been before. The statue stood in its place again - whole and completely unharmed. Not a single chip. Not a scratch.

"Now, let's talk about price, my friends."

"How about we buy it on credit?"

"What's the matter, Captain? Cash problems?" Citrine  laughed, clearly enjoying her victory. For her, it was always sport first - sometimes Lars even doubted that the fact of the sale had any value to her. But as soon as he'd mentally buried his hopes, Citrine waved her hand and added: "You're lucky to be one of my favorite customers! I'm willing to make some concessions for you."

"Really? That's nice to hear. So half price?"

She smiled mockingly once more, giving the pirate a long, penetrating look with her lemon-yellow eyes. It was the way she'd looked at him on the first day of their acquaintance - studying him, reading his emotions like a supercomputer - and then she'd smiled warmly, and since then the space pirates had an unofficial but very close business relationship with her, which had so far suited both sides. Was it a habit or a special talent… Or did Citrine could do more than just to run a successful business?

"I'd venture to guess that you're pretty broke right now, Captain. And clearly desperate. In a way," she said finally. "I won't ask for details, but I'm going to go out on a limb here and give you the separator for next to nothing. But for this you'll have to agree to do me a tiny favor in the future…"

"What kind of favor?" Lars tilted his head and looked suspiciously at her. But she just smiled back at him, in no hurry to explain herself. 

"We can talk about this later, when you've solved your problem. Make up your mind, Captain, you've got nothing to lose. I've never let you down before, have I?"

Lars turned to Padparadscha in silence, assessing her reaction to the offer. Citrine indeed had never cheated and never even turned them in to the authorities, no matter how attractive the reward seemed. And she hadn't lied about the separator - that thing really could be useful in almost any situation, not just in the case of the barrier! But she had never asked them for a favor before…

Padparadscha shrugged and smiled, supporting her captain's opinion on the matter.

"Well. Why the hell not? I've never made a deal like this with you before," he grinned fearlessly, slung the separator over his shoulder and extended his hand to Citrine, who immediately clasped it. The handshake was so firm that her long, sharp nails almost left small cuts on the pirate's hand. "A weapon for a favor. Just don't leave it too long, ok?"

"Excellent. I knew I could make a bargain with you, Captain. Now please come to the counter to make your purchase. I'm sure we'll all be satisfied in the end."

Chapter Text

Rhodonite stared intently at the navigation panel monitor, propping her throbbing head on her hand. The flashing pixels made her eyes blurry, her shoulders were numb from hours of sitting without moving, and all she really wanted right now was just to lie down. Her body, which usually felt so light and airy, now seemed too heavy a burden for the two gems shining on it – even considering that their density was much higher. Rhodonite didn't like this feeling, to say the least. But there was nothing she could do about it at the moment, so she just sighed and kept looking at the flickering monitor, marking the zones with an X, while they were passing them by.

Empty. Here's empty, too. And here. Wait, what, is this- Ah. No, no, it's just some garbage. Empty. Empty. A-a-and empty… Seems like Captain was right about them having to stay here at the asteroid belt for all eternity.

Either way, Rhodonite had not planned to sit motionless for THAT long. Therefore, after a few more minutes of useless staring at the screen, she finally decided to break away from her occupation – at least in order to lean back in her chair and relieve tension from her eyes and shoulders. Yeah, that's much better… She could probably use some sleep too. Although gems didn't need sleep usually, Rhodonite felt ready to take advantage of the rare opportunity. Moreover, the atmosphere in the control cabin was surprisingly suitable for sleeping, thanks to the low humming sound of the computers and engines… But there was no time for sleep. And no point, perhaps.

"Just a little break. Then I’ll be fit as a fiddle," the fusion decided to herself. And with these thoughts she began to slowly spin around in her chair, glancing at her comrades, still deeply absorbed with their tasks. Judging by their faces, they were also tired to the point of exhaustion and seemed to be working almost unconsciously. Even the twins were struggling to stay awake – and they were the toughest gems Rhodonite had ever known! Damn… She pursed her lips, feeling anxiety building up in her chest. What if it's no use? What if they won’t find anything? What if all this long and painstaking work turns out to be a waste of time? Sure it was just a guess, but there might be a reason why neither the pirates themselves nor their latest software equipment had yet discovered the monster’s home planet. 

Rhodonite heard of it just as a local legend. It said that some areas, formed in random asteroid cluster zones, are able to distort all the program's readings, and there were at least three reasons for it. First is so-called dummy planets, which usually have all the conditions for life, but have no life itself – maybe because of dead civilizations or, conversely, not yet born. The second reason is dead satellites, still rotating on their outstretched orbits. And the third is a simple space debris, which has always been discovered here in abundance. The strange gravitational effects of these things were often superimposed on the readings of the ships’ systems and were quite capable of disabling them – if not forever, then at least until the ship left an anomaly zone. So you could actually spend an eternity scanning such a sector, it all useless…

"Augh, I'm dozing off here…" a weary voice came from the side. Rhodonite slowly turned in her chair, facing the first pilot's seat and smiling understandably at one of the twins, who was rubbing her eyes with a fist. “Can we take a break? I'm afraid I’ll miss even the supernova explosion in this state…”

"You'll miss it in any state," her sister muttered under her breath without looking up from the monitor. Then yawned and squeezed her eyes shut, as if hoping to give them at least a little reboot. Not for a long, though. Flying in the asteroid chain was too much of a risk, so they couldn't get distracted, not even for a moment. It was also unwise to entrust the job to autopilot, unfortunately - they had to verify the ship's position and correct its course constantly, so that the Sun Incinerator didn't run into some junk surrounding them.

“I like the idea of taking a break, honestly,” Rhodonite suddenly said. “We have been working for hours without interruption. Would be nice to have a little nap.”

“Great idea, guys, let’s do that, then! Come on, twins, this goes for you as well. Go away, shoo! I'll take over," Lars immediately stood behind the Rutile twins, clearly showing a willingness to take the helm and almost pushing them from the pilot's seat. Looks like he was the only one still full of strength and vitality. But wasn't Lars usually the one who got tired quickly, due to his human nature? What’s got into him? Rhodonite shook her head in dissatisfaction, realizing there was something unhealthy behind his energetic behavior.

Ah also... He was a terrible pilot, really.

“We appreciate the offer, Captain, but you're no exception. If we’re gonna have a rest, then everyone at once," the left Rutile noted. “And don't even dare to say you’re not tired.”

"But I'm not tired!"

“Yes you are, look in the mirror…”

Lars threw his hands up, unsuccessfully trying to hide his annoyance behind a crooked smile. 

“Whatever! I still won't risk putting the ship on autopilot, and you've already gone cross-eyed. You clearly need a break much more than I do! So stop being stubborn and hand over the helm to your captain.”

"But…"

The pilots looked at each other helplessly, as if they were trying to find a suitable answer in each other's eyes. Obviously, Lars couldn't wait to see his new friends again and rescue them from the underground prison but… The Off Colors were also well aware of their captain's unhealthy habit of throwing all his strength into tasks that he set for himself, completely forgetting about such a significant thing for a person as rest. And no matter how much any of them tried to reason with him, explaining the negative impact this had on his health, he never listened. He won’t listen now, either. And yet…

"I have… a suggestion to make, Captain. If I may…"

All four turned towards the stairs leading to the engine room, finding Fluorite leaning out of the hatch and looking at them with a languorous smile. Just like the others, she looked exhausted from the hours and hours of continuous work. Although she didn't have to concentrate on watching the ship’s course or stare at the endless star map, searching for goodness knows what, there was always enough to worry about in the engine room.

"Yes, Fluorite, I'm listening," Lars responded, turning his whole body towards her. Not that it was necessary — the pause in Fluorite's speech was never because of waiting for permission to continue.

"We could dock to one of the local minor planets… for a while," the fusion muttered, resting her cheek on the palm of her hand. “And run a global sector scanning meanwhile. I've just finished with the latest updates… so it should work just fine.”

“Sounds like a good idea. In this case, we can avoid any collisions and accidents," the right Rutile yawned, barely finishing her sentence. The other one added thoughtfully: "And if the scanner continues to work, even in a limited area, we won't waste too much time. What do you say, Captain?”

“I… I guess? Do we have enough operational range?”

"Enough to have some rest,” Fluorite promised. "Do not worry, Captain… It’s gonna be alright. Remember, the first time we discovered this planet… was completely by accident. It can't just slip away from us now…”

Lars ran his hand through his hair and pursed his lips restlessly, as if he wanted to say something but stopped short. Rhodonite raised her eyebrows in surprise — no one had ever managed to deal with Captain's stubbornness so easily! Either Fluorite somehow managed to improve her persuasion skills… or something had really changed in him during his latest journey.

“Alright, alright, if you insist. Let's take a short break, say… for an hour and a half," Lars nodded unsteadily. "Which planet is closest and suitable for landing, Rhodonite?"

“One moment, Captain! I believe I’ve seen a perfect spot. Yes, here it is! Uploading the coordinates to the database.”

“Good. Twins, start landing in ten minutes and don’t forget to set up the shields. Pad, initiate the scanning right after landing. Maximum mode.”

"Understood!” The twins responded in unison, regaining their strength for one last push. Padparadscha, on the other hand, didn’t seem excited as much. Instead, she was laying on her desk powerlessly, her arms dangling off the edge of the console. Seemed like the poor thing was already half asleep.

“Maximum scan mode, got it…" she yawned, raising her hand and swiping a finger across the monitor. Rhodonite snickered softly, secretly enjoying a rare moment of watching tired and sleepy Padparadscha. Such a cutie. 

A few seconds later the engines buzzed, gaining momentum, and the Sun Incinerator began to approach the nearest planet, deftly maneuvering between the asteroid fragments circling in space.

***

A working scanner emitted a low-frequency monotonous hum, spreading a barely perceptible vibration along the walls. All the systems, except for the life support and the protective dome, were turned off due to energy savings. It was so peaceful and quiet in the control cabin, as if the Sun Incinerator had decided to hibernate along with all the members of the team… Well, almost everyone. Unfortunately, the captain of the ship couldn't sleep a wink.

Rocking slowly in his chair, he fidgeted with an old push-button phone with a familiar number flashing on the dim little screen. Lars found this phone in the backpack a few weeks after returning to Earth, and it immediately caused a great conflict in his soul. He even tried to make a call, although he knew it was useless. Moreover, it only made things worse… The feeling of longing, guilt and self-blaming had grown to the point where it could be compared to the size of a black hole, destroying some galaxy hundreds of light-years away. Not the best experience in his life, honestly.

It shouldn't have been such a shock for him, right? After all, Lars deliberately brought Sans' hoodie as a souvenir. And the old backpack with a bunch of patches was in plain sight from the very beginning… But for some reason, it was the phone that caught his eye and made him decide to find a way to contact the monsters himself, without waiting for any news from them. Memories of talking to Papyrus and Undyne on that phone, of Sans making fun of him by calling from unfamiliar numbers and pretending to be a pizza delivery man, or Alphys excitedly reporting progress on the preparations — these made Lars realize how much he missed them all… So much, he was ready to break through space and time with his own stupid pink head just to see them again! Or at least to hear the primitive eight-bit ringtone, bouncing off the thick walls of the dungeon, which made it sound even louder and even more annoying. To press a phone firmly to the ear so he could hear anything from it without any distracting sounds. To hear a voice, asking if everything was all right. If he’s accidentally lost in the labyrinths of caves. If he’s planning to come back for dinner. If he could buy noodles at the store on the way back…

Lars couldn’t remember the last time he missed anyone so much…

"I'm not giving up, Pap, I’ll find your planet anyway. Don't even doubt it," he muttered softly, trying not to disturb the gems dozing in their chairs. "No matter how hard it tries to hide. I'm a master of hide-and-seek, in case you haven't heard…”

The phone's screen suddenly flickered, displaying a low battery warning, and Lars hurriedly turned off the phone. He didn't have a suitable charger for it, sadly, and wasn't quite sure he could find such a charger in any corner of the galaxy. And if he somehow fails… 

"Damn it, Lars, don't even think about failure or I'll kick your ass!" The pirate hissed to himself. And with these encouraging words, he finally hid the phone in a small waist bag, leaned back in his chair and slowly exhaled, trying to regain some kind of mental balance. Maybe he really should’ve taken the opportunity to sleep, just as his comrades already did? To reboot, so to speak. To clear his mind. Although it probably could only be cleared with bleach. At least Lars thought so, as he tried to get comfortable in his chair, wrapping himself in his cape and wondering, since when did his mega-cool captain's chair suddenly become so uncomfortable.

However, stress and fatigue did a job. After a short while Lars’ body went limp like a rag doll, his breathing slowed, and he finally dozed off. The atmosphere in the control cabin became calm and serene, just like in kindergarten during a naptime. No voices, no footsteps, no clicking noises from computers. Only the somniferous sound of the working scanner…

Suddenly, a loud signal emanated from the navigation console, heralding the loading of the received data. Lars jumped up in his chair and started to look around in confusion, trying to realize which reality he was in, while the monitor in front of him was already uploading a whole list of coordinates. 

"Data processing, please wait…" The pirate ran his eyes over the notification and swallowed hard. He could hear the rustle and creak of chairs, sleepy voices and the rustle of clothes from all sides, but he couldn't tear himself away from the screen, on which, after thousands of scrolling through the data, finally appeared a three-dimensional image of the map. And a green dot flashing in the very center with numbers printed above. 

"The coordinates have been found. Declination 16°30'33. Data output is completed," read the following message. Lars immediately jumped out of his chair, tangling in his own cape and flopping to the floor loudly. No matter, he will think about bruises later! Right now the only think Lars could think about was that thing on the navigation panel monitor. Sure, he shouldn’t lose his head over the very first coordinates received… But it was actually the first coordinates found in such a long period of time! That's why Lars was in such a hurry, typing the save command with a trembling hand and uploading the coordinates to the ship's database. They can’t lose it. They just can’t…

"How… strange. Does anyone remember it being the same last time?”

Lars turned his head sharply when he heard Rhodonite's voice over his shoulder. Still looking a bit sleepy, she stood a couple of steps away from him and peered at the map, squinting at the light of the screen. Something in her expression made Lars feel nauseous.

"What do you mean?" he asked, trying to sound as calm as possible.

"Don't you see? It's so… empty. It's like all the stars have been erased from the map," the fusion explained, then moved closer to the monitor and started to turn the image slowly, examining it from all the sides. Lars followed her example, frowning and rubbing the back of his head in puzzlement. But it was just an ordinary map! What's so strange about it?

…at least that's what he thought, until Rhodonite found the best angle.

“Look, see? And there is an excessive accumulation of gas and dust. As if something is preventing them from squeezing into this empty area," she traced a dense cloud curved like a long crescent with her finger on the map. There were many bright dots representing stars within the boundaries of the cloud – but beyond it, like a sinkhole in the middle of a vast plain, was a frightening deep void. And Lars knew enough about space to understand this was quite… unnatural.

“Maybe it's just some kind of error? The map is not fully loaded yet?”

“If so, the image wouldn’t be so clear,” Padparadscha objected. She was also standing at the monitor, like the rest of the team, looking at the uploaded map with great interest and tapping her cheek with her fingers. “It looks more like a powerful spatial distortion, if you ask me.”

“Does this happen often in space?”

"Well, I've never seen anything like it… yet. But I've read about it in some research reports. And if there's one thing I've learned from that amount of information, it's that any anomaly, even the tiniest one, must be preceded by something. Which means…”

“… we've definitely come across something important. Right?” Lars crossed his arms and looked at the map once again. Specifically, at the blinking dot which led them right into the depths of the mysterious empty void. His gut instinct and the knowledge he had about the barrier that caused the monsters so many problems told him that this is exactly where they should be heading. But common sense told to be as far as possible from that thing…

What luck that Lars rarely listened to common sense. Mainly on holidays.

"Guide me, Rhodonite.”

"We're right here at the moment, Captain, almost at the entrance to the void,” the fusion replied, visually demonstrating their position on the map. “That's why the scanner managed to hook this area and pull up some of the useful data.”

"U-huh. Fluorite, how much energy and fuel do we have?”

"The tanks are full, Captain… The amount of energy… just ten percent spent.”

“Excellent! We're going, then,” Lars clapped his hands, grinning with excitement. The abnormal emptiness didn't frighten him at all — it only provoked an irresistible, almost primal desire to challenge it. But Rhodonite, who (for some reason) didn’t expect such a conclusion, almost choked on her own tongue and stared at her captain with her big frightened eyes. She had been holding up quite well so far, but the suggestion of flying into some unknown and obviously extremely dangerous anomaly had finally knocked her off her precarious balance. Fortunately, Lars was ready for this.

"Are you out of your mind?! I mean, right now, without any preparation? B-but… But what if we can't get out of there? We don't know anything about the nature of the void!”

“We have already prepared everything we could. Besides, I've already been to the place with no way out, technically… But I got out, as you can probably see.

"I'm extremely happy about it, trust me," the fusion pinched the bridge of her nose, feeling the pressure building in her head. “But is that a reason to get into trouble now constantly?”

"Aw come on, Rhodonite, it can't be much more dangerous than what we've already done!" Rutile twins suddenly decided to interfere. “After all, these are the first and only coordinates we’ve found in many hours. It would be unwise to just ignore them!”

“I'm not saying that we should ignore them, but…”

"I knew I could count on you!" Lars smiled, giving Rhodonite a friendly back slap, completely cutting off all the arguments she prepared. The fusion sighed resignedly, feeling defeated. As always, their brave captain ignored the voice of reason. He was good at it, especially when it came to something so important to him…

On the other hand. Didn't they all behave the exact same way sometimes?

"All systems have since been restored, Captain," Padparadscha reported meanwhile. Lars had already returned to his chair and thought for a moment before giving further orders.

“Set the scanner in the background mode and lower the level of protection just a bit. We're not going to risk too much, are we?”

“At least one sensible thought,” Rhodonite muttered under her breath. Lars pretended that he didn’t notice.

“Twins, the coordinates are already in the database, you just need to…”

"Already done, Captain! We're ready to take off!”

“Good. Alright…” The captain of the ship closed his eyes for a moment. “Then we're off. Forward.”

Chapter Text

This felt unusual. Flying straight through the empty space without any landmarks or any evidence that you're actually moving. There was not even a sense of movement as such… The whole team shared the feeling of hovering in the void, where there's no such things as matter, sound, light and even the time itself. Only the map served as proof that the ship hadn't just stuck in place.

And it wasn't JUST a feeling. The latest navigation system was also working hard, trying to identify coordinates in space and struggling with something that resisted exploring the void. It blocked the signal. It distorted the radio waves. It tried to confuse them, to change their direction. Lars could have sworn that he had encountered something similar once before, but his thoughts, like the ship's system, were constantly distracted by something inexplicable, preventing him from clinging to the right memory. Was it the barrier's fault? Lars remembered perfectly how it had affected his radio, which remained perfectly functional throughout the entire journey through the dungeon — and yet completely inoperable, a useless box with buttons and wires. Just like the Sun Incinerator right now, floating in a black bubble, like a plastic toy in a basin of water.

There was some similarity… No, even more: Lars was confident both phenomena were closely interrelated! This strange emptiness couldn't hang there for no reason.

"We've passed Sector 11," Rhodonite announced. Nevertheless, despite the strange sensations of hovering in space, they continued to go deeper and deeper into the void, which had no end. Apparently? The realization made Lars’ skin crawl, his body felt like it was turning inside out.

“Found anything new?”

“The picture’s still the same, Captain. All the indicators are working properly, but seem to be frozen. And the scanner hasn't detected anything yet.”

The pirate sucked air in through his teeth, nervously tapped his fingers on his knee, then jerked himself up from the chair. All this uncertainty, lack of information, an endless expectation of *something* raised such anxiety inside him it became impossible to sit still. In an attempt to relieve the tension, he kept getting up and pacing back and forth, like a freaking pendulum in an old grandfather clock. But it couldn't last forever, right? There must be some changes! New coordinates, evidence that they weren't rolling in circles… Something that would justify his guesses!

"I'll leave you guys alone for a while. Call me, if anything changes," Lars said and, without waiting for an answer, went straight to the stairs leading to the lower deck. Now, more than ever, he needed an interlocutor who would be able to give him some adequate advice. Someone very reasonable and wise, who might not be afraid to say something that would even upset him. Someone like…

“Fluorite. Are you here?”

"Where else… would I be, Captain?" there was a reply. Lars turned towards the voice: the fusion was standing at the center console, wiping her hands with a towel and looking at him with a calm smile. The engine room was dark, especially compared to the powerful lighting in the control cabin, so it took him a while to start seeing any further than his own nose. It just so happened that he couldn’t boast of ability to see in the dark. Unlike some.

“Yeah, stupid question. Sorry.”

"It's not… Just an ordinary question," Fluorite replied peacefully. “There's nothing to apologize for. More importantly… is there something bothering you, Captain?

“Well, yeah…” Lars hesitated. Briefly, just for a moment. And then he continued, clutching the edge of his cape: “I wanted to get your opinion on something. Just a few minutes of your time…”

Fluorite nodded slowly, put down the towel and left the center console. The ceiling was too low for her to stretch out to her full height, so Lars hardly had to lift his head to maintain eye contact. As she got closer, Fluorite sat down on a wide bench in the corner of the hall and patted the seat next to her, inviting the captain to sit down. Sure it was rude of him to refuse, but right now Lars was much more afraid he would explode if he sat down again, rather than to seem rude.

"I'll stand, if you don't mind."

“Nervous?” Fluorite smiled at him – a warm, understanding smile, as if this was the most natural thing in the world. The pirate chuckled anxiously, squeezing the fabric of his cape even harder.

"You see right through me, as usual… I know I've already asked this, but are you absolutely sure one of your gems isn’t a clairvoyant or something?”

Fusion laughed softly in response. Once again Lars received neither confirmation nor denial of his words. Come to think of it, after all these years, she never introduced everyone to her gems, or even talked about them properly. Only some minor details, and only if someone asked directly. It was her own business, of course, Lars and the others respected that. Although sometimes he really wanted to get a slightly more specific answer.

"It’s not like that… Captain. You're just like an open book. Every thought or feeling always written on your face," Fluorite covered her smile with her palm, as if apologizing for her reaction. Lars shook his head; they both knew it was true. He couldn't hide his feelings, no matter how hard he tried. “So… what did you want to talk about?"

“Right. Talk. That's why I’m here. Yeah…” the pirate didn’t even notice he started pacing back and forth in front of the bench. Fluorite patiently watched his every move, still smiling warmly. “Ok, I've been thinking about my plan and… I realized that I've never asked for your guys opinion. I mean, it's a bit late, but I wanted to know if you think, like, you know, this whole thing is too sudden? There's no specific plan after all, I just dragged you all into a void we don't know anything about… What if Rhodonite's right, and we never come back? And what if all of it is, like… meaningless?”

"Captain?" Fluorite's four eyes widened in surprise. “You’re not trying to say…”

“No, no, that's not what you're thinking!” Lars immediately exclaimed, his heart pounding in his throat. "I didn't… didn't give up. I'm still determined, you know, I just… want to know, um, what you think? I mean, I've already heard Rhodonite's opinion on this, although twins seem to be optimistic, and so is Padparaja, but I… I…”

"You know Rhodonite, Captain. Her worries and doubts… always come solely from the intricacies of her nature. But she has never doubted you…”

"And you?"

Lars didn't interrupt Fluorite often. To be more precise, he hadn't done this in a very long time – ever since he got used to her pace of speech and learned to guess when she finished a sentence. But today, his nerves blocked all his accumulated experience, it seemed. He hoped she understood…

"Have you… ever doubted me?"

“Me?" Fluorite paused for a moment, gazing intently at him with her multicolored eyes. Lars finally stopped moving back and forth and stood in place, bent under the weight of his cape, but didn’t look back. He always had trouble keeping eye contact, especially at times like this. With that in mind, Fluorite did her best not to make him wait too long for a response.

“I remember well the day when we first met you, Captain. Even though you had Steven by your side, you looked so alone and scared… You didn't look the kind of person who would risk his life to save strangers. And yet… that's exactly what you did… when the danger got so close to us,” Fluorite spoke calmly, slowly drawing out her words in her usual manner. But made unusually short pauses, as if trying to avoid the oppressing silence that was so unsettling for her friend. Her lips stretched into an affectionate smile as she spoke. “After that… even if I wanted to, I couldn't stop believing in you. Even after all these years… Captain, I know what kind of doubts you're facing right now, but hear me out. If anyone can find a planet lost in space… save the monsters and break the barrier that many call indestructible… It's you, Captain. And I… all of us, rest assured… will follow you anywhere. Even into the abyss itself.”

The pirate raised his hand to his face and scratched his cheek. Listening to Fluorite, he felt his anxiety slowly but surely recede. The thoughts that seemed unbearable became a little more significant than the dust under his feet. The heavy cape still weighed him down, but Lars found the strength to straighten up and direct a slightly brightened gaze at his engineer. There’s a lot of work ahead. And probably a whole lot of difficulties and doubts he would have to face. Many failures and stupid decisions. But with his team by his side…

“Thank you, Fluorite. I know you're always sincere, and I always appreciate it. Really.”

"There's no need… to thank me, Captain," she waved her hand. "It's true…”

Lars couldn't help but smile. Didn't Papyrus say something like that the other day…? Thinking of this as a funny coincidence, he sat down on a bench next to Fluorite and looked up at the ceiling of the engine room, full of numerous pipes and wires. The ship was moving so smoothly, even the loosened ones weren’t moving.

“Hey, Fluorite. Do you think this void could be the result of the barrier?”

"It could be, Captain," Fusion said thoughtfully, also raising her eyes to the metal ceiling. “Such an unusual space… could not have been created naturally. You said it earlier, right? That the barrier… was blocking your radio signal?”

"Well, it was Alphys who told me that. Man, I wish I could contact her right now,” Lars sighed. “She could’ve explained it much better than I.”

"We don't have the option right now… so there's no meaning… in regret," Fluorite responded, patting him on the shoulder. “Nevertheless, what I understood from your explanations leads me to a guess… that the barrier indeed… could weaken the operation of our systems.”

"You think?"

"If that's the case… it's no wonder the system didn't save the coordinates… as soon as we left the zone. The only thing I don't understand… is why we didn't notice entering the void for the first time…”

“Well, we were in a hurry. I guess? Rhodonite was at the helm, and she took us to the asteroid chain. Then twins put the ship on autopilot, and we didn't really keep track of the flight…”

"Yes. That's exactly how it was… wasn't it?"

Lars didn't need to look at Fluorite to know how intrigued she was. She didn’t even think to hide her interest in the mystery that surrounded the lost planet — and Lars began to understand exactly what she was thinking about the whole idea. He glanced out the small porthole on the opposite wall and began to peer into the blackness. It could not be dispelled either by the glow of gas clouds or even by streams of galactic rays, which in normal situations were capable of piercing any matter. The distant light of the stars, crowded beyond the borders of the void, looked like a fog illuminated by flashlights, which would melt instantly if you flew any closer. If Fluorite's assumptions are correct, then with the destruction of the barrier, the stars should return here. And then Lars will definitely show them to Sans and Papyrus, as promised.

He could hardly wait…

"Well, time to get back to being the captain," Lars slapped his knees and jumped to his feet, feeling his mood rise up. “Thank you again, Fluorite. I needed this conversation.”

“No problem, Captain. Call me again if you need a reminder… of how great you are.”

“Will do!” Lars chuckled and with a wave of his hand he ran up the stairs, squinting at the bright light of the control cabin. Nothing had really changed here since he'd left. But he'd be damned if he'd let himself get discouraged again!

“How’s it going, guys?" he asked, approaching the Rutile twins. “It must be hard to fly without any landmarks?”

“We’re already used to it, Captain,” the right twin said optimistically. “Besides, Rhodonite helps us to adjust the direction, so we’ve got it covered!”

“Scary to imagine what would've happened if she hadn't been with us,” the left one added.

“Well, for a start, if you had flown into an unexplored area without a map, I would've found you and torn off each of your heads!” Rhodonite exclaimed, hearing such an outrageous suggestion. Lars had to stifle a chuckle. No doubt she would've done exactly that!

"I'll make sure they never do something so stupid."

“You're one to talk, Captain! When it comes to suicide missions, you're always the first in line!”

“Well actually, I usually walk in without waiting in line," the pirate corrected her. And immediately stood back, meeting Rhodonite's heavy, disapproving gaze. "This is, uh… not the best time for dumb jokes, is it?"

"One more joke like that and I'll have to throw you overboard, Captain."

“Fair enough.”

Their comrades’ giggles filled the silence inside the ship, making it feel more alive again. Lars leaned against the back of the pilots' seats and casually stared at the monitor. He wondered how long it will be before they stumble upon something. Hopefully he’ll be alive to see this happen… Even a small event would be nice, like the phenomenon of a single star in the middle of the blackness, a change of coordinates, a sudden comet, a supernova outbreak, a phone ca-

“Oh, my stars!!” Rhodonite's sudden frightened shout was overridden by the harsh sound coming from the comm panel. Lars shuddered all over, gripped the back of the chair with both hands with such force, as if he believed the sound wave would throw him against the glass and knock him out of the ship. Or maybe he just didn't expect his thoughts and reality to synchronize so unexpectedly… Padparadscha shrieked at the signal a bit belatedly too, but Lars was too engrossed in the sight of the green-lit communication panel to jump up from another scream. However, all he could do was just to run through the same thought in his head, wondering if all of them just imagining it? Mass hallucinations in space are not uncommon after all… Especially on the background of fatigue.

But a few seconds later, as if denying, the sound repeated again – even louder, even clearer, even more desperate…

“Pad-”

"This is the operator of the ship. We have received your signal. Please introduce yourself immediately and provide your coordinates. Over," the gem said loudly, without waiting for the command. Lars slowly approached her station and stood next to her, staring intently at the dynamics, waiting for a reply. However, instead of names and coordinates that he was expecting, there was only some noise and crackling, which somehow reminded Lars of…

Yes, that's right. The same sounds came from his radio when he was trying to contact the crew from Alphys’ lab.

“Come on, please. Papyrus, Alphys. Anyone…" Lars whispered under his breath, while Padparadscha struggled with equipment, trying to clear the signal. It slipped away, trying to get lost in the depths of the cosmic abyss, then became louder, clogging the broadcast with crackling and high-frequency squeaking.… Heat and shivers went through Lars when, in the midst of this chaos, he finally managed to make out fragments:

H̨ ͠h͝ ̡h͠.̀.͢.͘ ̶h̡e̕l͟p̸ ͘p̴ ͡p̧.̛.҉.͞ ͝ḿe̛ ̸e͘ ͜e̴ ̛e͝e̢.͞.̕.͘ ̛e͟e̶è.҉.̧.̀

Chapter Text

The transmission interrupted, and the silence engulfed the entire ship. The Off Colors stood rooted to their places, trying to digest everything that happened, as Lars frantically wondered where he could’ve heard that voice…

Was it high-pitched? Or a low, hoarse voice? Brittle and trembling, like a dry autumn leaf that lasted until the first cold weather? It was vaguely familiar, but at the same time, it was a voice Lars had never heard before. Although it could be just the effect of a bad signal, which was trying to reach them through the wall of blocking and strong interference. It is possible that on the other end of the transmission, that voice sounded completely different from how it sounded right now.

"Was that… what I think it was?” Rhodonite tremulously whispered. One pair of her hands were tightly clasped together, while the other were covering her mouth, making her voice sound hollow, as if from a bottle. Lars wasn't sure if she even needed an answer, but he was too shocked to make a sound anyway. His whole body was crawling with goosebumps from head to toe, and he could barely stand on his numb legs. There was no guarantee that the signal was coming from the lab, but…

Who else could…

Was it just a coincidence?

Could it be…

No. No one in the whole damn galaxy could send them a message like this. It… It was them. It had to be them!

“Clear the signal! I need the full details of where it's being transmitted from, right down to the last digit, now!”

"Y-yes, Captain!" Padparadscha's voice faltered, her nimble fingers swiftly typed on the keyboard, entering the necessary commands. The computer processed the request with a soft crackle, as Lars impatiently drummed his fingers on the panel, waiting for the result. The latest super-fast software now seemed slower than an eight-hundred-year-old turtle. Any delay could be fatal…

"I managed to upload the information to our database, but it's encrypted,” the gem said, stealing glances at the captain from under her bangs. It was so damn hard to keep his composure, but Lars did his best – he had no right to snap at his friends. He took a deep breath, nodded and replied, trying to sound as calm as possible:

“Got it. Then I’ll leave this to you, Pad. Let me know if you figure it out.”

With that, he turned around, his cape whipping on the console, and hurriedly walked towards the scanner. It was simply unbearable to stand idly by. Besides, what if the ship had already discovered the planet by itself? In this case, they won't have to spend time decoding the signal, which usually takes a lot of time… But unfortunately, Lars was awaited by another disappointment: emptiness in the monitor and no signs of life nearby.

“Fuck.”

“Captain!"

Lars spun around, arms outstretched.

“What?! Am I not allowed to swear now?!”

“No, that's not that," Padparadscha calmly shook her head, not even looking up from her monitor. “I just wanted to say I decrypted the data.”

“What? Already?!” He blinked in amazement and rushed back to her station. “Pad, you're a wizard! What’s there?”

“Pretty much everything. The location of the source, the distance from our sector… Our system is already calculating the direction and the most convenient route. As soon as everything is ready, it will transfer the information to the database, and we can head out.”

“It's… pretty far from here,” Lars muttered, studying the notes carefully. “Fluorite, is the ship ready for another hyperjump?”

"At the moment… the nova thrusters are getting enough power from the ship. All systems are working properly…”

“The data received, Captain!” the twins' voices announced. “Are we going?”

Lars focused his gaze on the flat image of the map displayed on the navigation monitor. The bright green light indicated the direction. As he kept looking at it, the captain of the ship felt neither joy nor relief – even despite the message content, they didn't know for sure if the signal was sent by the monsters. And if not, the pirates will only waste time…

On the other hand, how could one call an operation to rescue someone a waste of time?

“Fix the course. Fluorite, nova thrusters on, full power. Twins, hyperspeed mode.”

“Yes, Captain!”

***

The fast and maneuverable spaceship covered a huge distance in two jumps and finally emerged from hyperspace. A sight on its way made Lars' heart skip a beat: pieces of space debris and asteroid fragments drifted in the middle of the starless void, and in the center of this peculiar chain was an azure planet. Lars would’ve recognized it among the millions: it was the only one with a huge dark crescent-shaped spot, which turned out to be a tall mountain surrounded by kilometers of forest at the foot and a dense line of clouds at the top. Even without considering that all the decoding of the signal led specifically to this mountain, Lars had plenty of reasons to keep his attention here. First of all, this mountain caught his eye from the very first landing — and Lars used to trust his intuition. Secondly, Fluorite managed to scan the planet using an updated program and confirmed that the most powerful activity of an unknown nature was recorded inside the mountain… or even more precisely, under it. And thirdly, Lars perfectly remembered Sans and Papyrus saying that the only known exit from the underground, adjacent to the barrier, was in the royal castle. And where else would the royal castle be, except not under the mountain?

“Sector 44, uploading landing data,” the left Rutile paused, focusing on the numbers displayed on the monitor. “Direct ascent for 5 hours and 54 minutes.”

"The scanners aren't picking up the return location signal," Rhodonite muttered, enlarging the selected map fragment. The right Rutile automatically glanced at her monitor. "It's like there's nothing underneath us…"

"Blocking again?"

"If that's the case, we'll have to dock blindly. Was it like that the last time?

"Definitely not.”

"Then something really happened,” Lars said, rubbing his chin. Strangely enough, the closer they got to their destination, the less nervous he became. On the other hand, they have already completed part of the task — to find a way to the planet. Now all that remained was to hope that all the friends Lars had managed to make were alive and well.

An hour later, the Sun Incinerator, flashing with positional lights and scattering sand vortexes, smoothly landed at the very foot of the mountain. With a soft hydraulic whoosh, the door went up, letting the crew outside, and the Off Colors immediately began to search. Lars looked under almost every rock and into every bush — naturally, the task was complicated by the fact that the pirates had no idea what the barrier or the entrance to the underground should look like. Will it be a giant portal or a rabbit hole? A crack in the ground? A door covered with fir branches? They had to pay attention to every detail and respond to any suspicious indicator on the radar. Just don't miss it.

"Captain, there's a path up here!" The twins' voices called out. Lars slipped off the thick root of a tree, quickly rounded the ledge and found his pilots standing at the ascent of the mountain, near a path overgrown with low grass. Winding between stone ledges and mighty tree trunks, it went all the way to the top, disappearing into a light mist and lush vegetation. No matter how hard Lars tried, he couldn't see where it ended.

“Great. Let's check there.”

"Are you sure? Wouldn't it be better to properly explore the area around the mountain first? Climbing can take a pretty long time.”

"Call it a gut feeling, but it seems to me we'll waste more time staying here," Lars objected. “Besides, doesn't a well-trodden path to the top of the mountain, with no settlement around, look suspicious?”

"Perhaps?" The twins said indecisively. But Lars was already convinced enough and rushed to the ship, informing everyone about the new plan. Picking up the bag he had prepared in advance, he suddenly stopped and raised his eyes to look at the Sun Incinerator that towered over its captain, casting a deep shadow down.

The cooling engines made the ground beneath it tremble slightly, and strands of residual electromagnetic radiation still ran through the wings. This ship has been through a lot during the time it served the space pirates. Their adventures have left it with many battle marks: scratches on the hull, the left side slightly bent (they failed to fix this defect, sadly) chips on the windshield… But even with all these imperfections, it looked proud and majestic, like a giant golden harpy. The Sun Incinerator was the most precious treasure that the pirates had ever stolen from anyone. And Lars adored this ship so much…

If he doesn't get back, he could never get used to the idea that he lost it forever.

"Wait for me, buddy. I'll come back, even if I have to turn the earth inside out," he said goodbye, turned around and finally walked back to the crew. It was a promise he was determined to fulfill.

Meanwhile, the Off Colors were already waiting for their captain in front of the path, each exchanging their own assumptions about the location of the barrier. As Lars approached them, he caught Rhodonite's surprised gaze. She pointed at the bag he was carrying.

“Are you taking the separator too?”

“Of course!” Lars nodded and took a more comfortable grip on the belt slung over his chest. A heavy weapon, wrapped in a thick protective case, rested on his back. It was easier to carry it that way. Like a huge hiking backpack.

“You still think it’ll work on the barrier?” The left Rutile asked suspiciously. 

“Well it's worth a try, especially since we don't have any other options yet. Would be cool.”

Imagining how surprised everyone would be if the plan really worked, he smiled imperceptibly and, together with his crew, began to climb the path. It ran smoothly and encircled the entire mountain, periodically dividing into turns, ending in dead ends and getting lost in dense green-blue vegetation. But mostly the road was easy, even a child could climb it without encountering serious difficulties along the way. In addition, it was very picturesque: the whole area was filled with flowering shrubs and tall trees with large branches spread wide; a slender stream flowed quietly through the lush green valley with golden flowers blooming vividly. These flowers were already familiar to Lars – the same flowers grew in the clearing where they found the transmitter. And exactly the same flowers he found in the middle of the Waterfall zone… There was nothing special about them, and yet, Lars began to feel melancholy at a single fleeting glance at them.

Is he getting sentimental?

"Aren't you tired, Captain? Let us carry the separator for you,” the twins suggested, looking at him with concern. Apparently, Lars’ expression was so complicated they decided that carrying the weapon on his back was harder than he expected. But even though it actually was, Lars refused their offer. 

“I’m fine. There's not much left to walk! We just have to choose the right turn.”

“Then we'll go check the path!”

“There's no need for that…” But before he could finish his sentence, the Rutile twins rushed to the fork and turned right. The others continued to climb the path, but as soon as they reached the fork too, twins suddenly returned.

"There's a dead end," they announced shortly before running off in the other direction.

"No shit, Sherlock…”

“Wait!” Padparadscha exclaimed. "You're going the wrong direction!"

"They already know that, dear," Rhodonite said, patting her head. “But it’s all right, jogging is good exercise.”

"Not a big fan of running, but yeah," Lars remarked, continuing on his way. “At least it helps these two stay in shape.”

"You could use one too, Captain…”

"I’m sorry, what's that supposed to mean?”

The fusion smiled appeasingly and hurried to explain herself before Lars could think of anything nasty. Anyone could envy his abilities in this regard.

“It’s not what you think, Captain! I just read that running has a good effect on the heart muscle, lungs and such. And you're still a human being, so…”

That was true. Even with all his bonus abilities, Lars was still just a human. A human with a very vulnerable body (and an easily extractable soul, apparently?). A human who, for some reason, decided that the fate of an entire nation rests on his shoulders. How human of him…

“My heart muscle is fine, thank you very much. But let me remind you that we have more important tasks right now than worrying about my weak human body. Keep your eyes open! And pay attention to any strange crack or hole or… or…”

“A huge gate in the rock.”

"No, Pad, that would be too obvious…”

“A huge gate in the rock!”

“I heard it, Rhodonite!” Lars began to get annoyed. He even took his eyes of the ground below his feet and finally looked up at the fusion, who was pointing at something ahead with such an amazement on her face. What's that now? Did she saw a monster?

“Ah, really… It does look like a huge gate in the rock, Captain…” Fluorite said thoughtfully. Lars turned his head and froze.

In front of them, framed with spruce trees, towered a large piece of bleached stone overgrown with thick moss and a whole cluster of tiny mushrooms. Inside the stone, there was an iron double-leaf gate with carved handles, rusted from heavy rains. Paint that once was covering the doors faded under the withering sun, so it was difficult to tell what color it was. But no matter… More importantly, contrary to everyone's expectations, one of the doors was ajar. And there, right behind this door, stood the barrier, created thousands of years ago. By those who were called humans in these parts…

"Un… believable," Lars choked out, slowly moving his eyes up and down, examining every crack in the dried paint, every chip on the carved handles… But then he cried loudly, noticing the twins reached out to the barrier. “Don't touch it!! There may be no way back!”

"What, really?" The right Rutile immediately withdrew her hand, clutching it tightly to her chest. “So if you put your hand in there, you get stuck?”

“I… I don’t know,” Lars hesitated. "But it's better not to take that risk… yet. Stay away from the barrier!”

“But is this THE barrier?” Padparadscha asked, looking at the pearly wall behind the door with interest. — Why are the gates open then? Didn't you say there's no way out of the dungeon?”

"Well, it's not like I saw the barrier with my own eyes, I was just… told?”

At the moment, Lars couldn't come up with a single idea, or a single logical reason why the gate might be open. But there was no doubt that it was the same barrier! Something about its appearance caused inexplicable, but powerful and uncontrollable anxiety and awe, as if it was something divine… Or demonic. Trying to shake off this feeling, Lars turned away, carefully put the separator case to the ground and began to prepare. Padparadscha approached him to help, while the others stood holding their breath. Everyone wanted to believe the plan would work. And yet…

“Come on guys, what's with the long faces?” Lars asked cheerfully in an attempt to maintain team morale. “Isn’t it too early to write off this plan?”

“Sorry, Captain,” Rhodonite mumbled in response. “It's not that we don't believe in success at all, but…”

“No buts! I need you guys to believe that everything will work out. Having the faith and right attitude is the key, right?”

“Right, Captain.”

“Then keep believing! Cheer up, everyone! We’re ready to start…”

After fixing the last detail, the pirate sat down on one knee in front of the ajar door and, hoisting the weapon onto his shoulder, began to aim. If Padparadscha hadn't been helping him to hold the separator, Lars would probably have been shaking like a leaf – and it wasn’t just because of the weapon's weight… But he had no right to think about failure. Not now. Lars took a deep breath and pulled the trigger, shooting straight at the pearly wall.

Birds flew up from the trees. Thick plasma spread across the barrier, flooding it and the surrounding surfaces with bright blue light. In less than a minute, the barrier trembled so much that it shook the gate, rock and the whole surrounding area. The vibration passed along the path, turning over all the branches and stones lying on it. Something cracked, creaked hideously, filling the entire peak with an echo and causing an irresistible desire to clog up the ears with earth. But Lars was petrified, waiting, and didn't dare move an inch. His shoulder ached painfully from the weight of the separator, which was systematically punching a hole in the damn barrier…

And when the lights went out, the scene before the Off Colors and their captain was terrifying. The twisted gate bent and zigzagged, the ground beneath it was perforated, and in some places it was turned inside out and lifted, as if something was propping it up from the inside. The nearest trees were spread out in circles and figures of eight, and even the rocks were covered with giant wrinkles. But the barrier… stood firm.

Not a speck of dust, not a single scratch. Absolutely no effect.

Zero.

Nothing.

Silence filled the area. Lars' shoulders slumped. But when he felt a heavy weapon slide down, scratching his skin through the fabric of his clothes, he squeezed it with his fingers, intending to either break or crush the separator with his bare hands.

"I… spent all our money... ON THIS SHIT!!!” he exclaimed in anger, lifting the separator on his trembling hands. Padparadscha immediately dug her fingers into the weapon, realizing what Lars was planning to do next.

“Captain, please calm down!”

“I even made some fucking illegal deal for it, what the fuck?!”

“That is not the reason to immediately break the weapon! Hold on…” the Rutile twins managed to snatch the separator from Lars’ hands and hid it from him on their shoulders. Fortunately, they were taller than their captain. Otherwise he would’ve done everything to knock the weapon out.

“Give me that back!”

“Nuh-uh. Not until you calm down, Captain.”

“I'M CALM AS HELL!!!”

The twins sternly shook their heads, flatly refusing to give him back the separator. Fortunately, Lars only had enough strength to stamp his foot menacingly and turn away. Really, what's the heck! No effect! Then everything that happened in the store was just a setup?! Freaking Citrine… He’s gonna kill her next time, that’s for sure!

“Ok, fine. FINE! I don’t care! When we get back to Enceladus-2, I'm gonna demand moral compensation! In the amount of three of my payments!”

"The entire galaxy will explode sooner than you take the money from Citrine," Rhodonite patted him on the shoulder sympathetically. "She'll find a way to win the argument…"

“Screw this, now not about it. Bring the ship up here!”

“W-what? What’s that for?” The twins asked in confusion.

"We’ll try to break the barrier with a cutting laser!”

The Off Colors gasped in disbelief and looked at each other, silently asking each other if their captain was in his right mind. Honestly, it was hard to believe that now… Meanwhile Lars, stamping his foot angrily, fixed his burning gaze on the barrier and waited for his order to be carried out. It didn't seem to bother him that the idea was simply crazy.

"Well?? What are you waiting for?”

“We… understand your feelings, Captain,” Fluorite exchanged another worried glance with her comrades. "But, there's… no place to land. There's… too little room…"

“Then land the ship somewhere nearby! Or use the laser in the air!”

"You kidding, right? But that could cause a cave-in!” Rhodonite gasped, belatedly horrified. "We're gonna bury everyone in the dungeon alive!"

"I don't-” 

-care, Lars wanted to continue… But shuddered, as if he had been splashed in the face with cold water.

He needed to cool down. He was gonna make a lot of terrible mistakes… just because a single plan didn't work out? Isn't it crazy? What would Undyne say?! No… No, that doesn't sound like him at all! Lars took a deep breath and closed his eyes, doing what he had been doing best lately – thinking.

He wasn't going to leave just like that. Not after that message. But he still didn't know any ways to break the barrier! Alphys was the only one who knew everything about the barrier. She could tell him what to do. She was the one he needed to contact first. But without a radio…

“Then it's decided. I'm going there. Again.”

"… Captain?"

Lars opened his eyes and looked up at his crew, smiling affectionately. Now, when he calmed doen, he felt terrible and awkward about making such a scene…

"Get back to the ship, guys. I'll get to the lab and try to restore the radio so we can contact each other again. I hope Alphys is still there…”

“What are you talking about? We're not going to sit and wait!” The left Rutile was indignant. Her sister immediately continued, "Since there is no other option, we're coming with you!"

"We are…?"  Rhodonite asked carefully. Lars shook his head, hoping that his unwillingness to hear arguments would be noticeable. He…  He didn't want to go alone, really, but…

“Absolutely not. It's too risky. There's no way out of there… That is, there should be a way out, but they haven't found it yet, and I…”

“And you think that you're the only one who has to deal with this now, right? That is so you!” the left Rutile trew up her hand. The right one corrected: "You mean, how human of you."

Lars let out a small ironic laugh in response. He hated to admit it, but he was nothing without his crew. Without them he definitely wouldn't be able to solve anything, no matter how hard he tried. Yeah. The captain of the Sun Incinerator was convinced of this… He only felt whole when all of them were together. Like a huge fusion…

"You're not going to give up this idea, are you?" Lars asked with secret hope. The Off Colors continued to look at him in silence, smiling encouragingly. He didn't have to look closely to notice nervousness in those smiles, but at the same time – obvious reluctance to let him go alone.

"We're gonna… follow you anywhere, Captain,” Fluorite said confidently. “Even if there’s the risk of never getting out…”

“Well, helping those in need is our job, isn't it?” Rhodonite added.

“Everything will be fine! I know that for sure…” Padparadscha clasped her hands together. Lars got down on one knee and put his hand on her shoulder. She tried to speak as firmly as the others, but still couldn’t hide the tremor in her voice. And yet…

"I know that you know, Pad. Thank you… all of you.”

The space pirates cast heavy glances ahead. The barrier gleamed mockingly in the sunlight, shimmering with all the colors of the rainbow.

“So… Shall we?”

Chapter Text

Beyond the iridescent rainbow barrier, the pirates were greeted by impenetrable darkness. Dense, sticky and viscous, like resin, darkness that persistently pulled them into the depths of underground tunnels, blurring the eyes and making its way under the skin. The Off Colors had lived a significant part of their lives in the dark, in the Homeworld Kindergarten, hiding in their own slits, but each of them could agree it was completely different. The darkness of the Kindergarten was saving. It was their shelter, their cozy home, hidden from prying eyes and protecting them from the evil and infinitely dangerous outside world. But here… The darkness was frightening. Absorbing. Its humming silence was oppressive, as if a whole mountain was falling on their shoulders, spreading anxiety through every part of their bodies. The worst part, is that nothing could dispel it: all of their light sources had no power here, even powerful pocket lanterns were no use. Only the faintly shimmering gems on the Off Color’s bodies illuminated the way for them and their captain in the darkness as they slowly moved through the cave, which was narrowing its walls around them.

However, before the claustrophobic feeling had fully enveloped them in its vile tentacles, the cave began to expand. The chilling darkness was also dissolving, when suddenly, grain by grain, diffused light began to penetrate it, pouring as if from the very walls. A few more steps later, the pirates finally managed to see a wide passage ahead, which led them into something like an underground hall. It wasn't very spacious, although it seemed so after the previous cave.

The rough walls, painted with intricate purple patterns, visually expanded the space. The high, almost perfectly smooth ceiling successfully masked the fact that the hall was located in the depths of the mountain. The light of the crystals embedded in the walls illuminated every corner, filling everything with volume and spreading long shadows from the irregularities everywhere. Looking around carefully, the pirates noticed a withered tree in front of them, stretching to the ceiling with mighty but irretrievably decayed branches — and behind it, on a raised platform, the entrance to the new zone, framed by two cracked columns. Covered with a wrenchy vine, columns went cracked and even crashed in some places, but nothing prevented the pirates from going through them further: down the stairs.

"Looks like we're gotta go deeper," Lars whispered, trying not to cause a strong echo. The members of his crew nodded silently in response. For some reason, none of them found the courage to speak. The realization that they have to plunge back into the impenetrable darkness was scary, but everyone understood there was nothing they could do about it. There were no workarounds in the dungeon, and the decision was already made. Therefore, after just a moment of hesitation, the Off Colors followed their captain, who confidently stepped into the unknown depths.

***

The stairs did seem quite long. But the pirates couldn’t even imagine how long their way down would be. At some point, Lars started to think they were already approaching the insides of the planet — and maybe they were, to some degree, especially considering how Hotland looked… Could it be that the royal castle was located near the planetary core? Sounded logical. At least, the monsters had to take the, what's its face... geoenergy? Thermal energy? From somewhere? Eh, doesn't matter…

After several long minutes, or maybe even hours (Lars felt like he had been walking for hours) the stairs finally ended. The Off Colors stepped off the last step with great relief and immediately fell onto the cold stone floor of the new cave. They deserved some rest. They needed some rest! Because, who knows what awaited them ahead? What if there were enemies? Lars couldn't help but wonder why they hadn't met a single monster yet — the guards, the locals, the king, after all! He pushed bad thoughts away, explaining to himself that no self-respecting monster would want to run up and down this huge staircase. But unease still grew in his chest. Especially when, after resting for a while, they moved on.

It didn't look like a royal castle at all. From the endless staircase, the Off Colors went straight to the city. More precisely, this place only resembled a city — in fact, it was just another underground hall with little unpretentious houses dotted here and there and a modest sign at the very beginning, with the half-erased inscription "Home". And everything would be fine, but the sight of this city only fueled everyone's fears… The pirates walked along a completely broken road, looking at dilapidated buildings and stumbling over piles of stone dust and unidentifiable debris along the way. Lars shifted his worried gaze from one place to another, mentally making discouraging notes for himself. Broken walls. Sagging ceilings. The devastation pursued them throughout the journey, causing the anxiety in his chest to grow with double force. But the worst part was the one thing that caught his eye, or rather ears, from the very beginning — the silence.

When Lars first entered the underground, he noticed: no matter where he was, there was never complete silence. The wind howled and the snowdrifts creaked in Snowdin. The sounds of rain and crystals ringing in Waterfall. Lava burning and bubbling in Hotland. But it was quiet — too quiet in this place. Even the sound of dust crumbling from the ceiling felt like an avalanche. Silence enveloped the place like an ominous shroud, and Lars couldn't find an explanation for it. Well, he could… But it wasn't reassuring.

"This whole place is in ruins… I don't like this," Rhodonite finally broke the silence. Her voice was trembling. She was scared, but she tried her best not to show it.

"Keep your guns ready, guys. But no kill shots," Lars reminded. "We didn't come here to kill anyone.”

“Well, duh!” the Rutile twins responded sarcastically. "We're not murderers, Captain."

"I know", Lars thought with a little smile. But before he could say it out loud, Rhodonite suddenly squeaked, throwing something off herself. A thin, barely noticeable, but dense and very sticky spider web was glistening on her hair, and Lars carefully removed it. Seemed like this place hasn’t been cleaned for a long time. Hopefully, there were no giant spiders living here. It's not that any of the Off Colors suffered from arachnophobia, but three-meter spiders, for example, would scare anyone…

"Ugh, disgusting! Is something crawling down my back?" Rhodonite whispered in horror, hugging herself with all four arms. Twins carefully examined her from all sides, concluding there was nothing on her back, but this didn’t seem to put her at ease.

“I want to get out of here as soon as possible. Captain, you were talking something about a nice snow town? Crystal caves where it rains? Where is all that?”

“Ahead, I suppose?” Lars mumbled, unsure. "I think that soon we’ll…”

“Hey, isn't that the exit over there?"

Padparadscha's voice distracted him from thoughts of spiders, dungeons, and poor Rhodonite, who was not used to this kind of environment. He turned his gaze forward, at the end of a long corridor, and saw a tall stone door with a symbol painted on it, resembling a winged sphere with three triangles. The door was overgrown with bushy moss, but judging by the scratches, left on the floor beneath it, it had opened more than once. The Off Colors quickened their steps, hoping that there wasn’t another staircase waiting for them.

"Wow, it's heavy," Lars wheezed, trying to push the door open with his shoulder. “We'll have to push it all at once.”

“No problem, let’s do that.” 

"Ready? On the count of three. One, two…”

"Three!"

The plan worked out perfectly: the door rattled and slowly moved, crumbling, and a blinding white light began to penetrate inside, billions of dust particles immediately soared up. Lars instinctively held his breath and squeezed his eyes shut, pushing on the door even harder, sinking his fingers into the dry moss. When the passage was large enough for Fluorite to pass through, the Off Colors stopped. The job was done. And when their eyes gradually got used to the light, behind the door the pirates found…

“Snowdin forest!”

"You know this place, Captain?"

Lars nodded quickly, emerging from the stuffy, dusty ruins directly into a snowfield, surrounded by majestic fir trees.

“This is the forest near town where Papyrus and Sans live!” He exclaimed, stepping in the knee-deep snow, thick steam escaping his mouth. Lars straightened up and took a good look through the endless snowflakes gently circling over the snowdrifts: the bridge with the arch installed above it was barely visible ahead – he didn’t remember this part of the forest, but, most likely, he just missed it when teleported here using the device. This time, even the cold wasn't a hindrance to his joy! Standing right in the middle of a frosty valley and shivering from the sudden temperature drop, Lars felt almost over the moon with happiness! Not for long, though. The memory of the received message quickly soured his mood.

“We need to find a way to Snowdin as soon as possible. Maybe Sans knows a shortcut to the lab. Hope he’s still there…”

“Yes, let's hurry up," the twins agreed as they stepped straight into a deep snowdrift. The others followed as well. It seemed everyone was happy to escape the frightening darkness and devastation reigning in the previous part of the dungeon. Moreover, the cold wasn’t as serious a problem for them as it was for Lars… Noticing him shivering and rubbing his shoulders with his hands, Rhodonite asked with concern:

"Are you all right, Captain? Here, let me lend you my jacket…”

“Nah, it's okay, I'm used to it by now. Besides, I'll just drown in your clothes. And what if we have to run?”

“Haha, yeah, your famous agility won’t work that way!" the right Rutile giggled, giving him a friendly slap on the shoulder. Lars put a faint smile on his face but said nothing. He was too engrossed in his own thinking. The last time he was here, the forest was filled with various creatures scurrying, hiding, and watching him through the bushes, trees, and snow – even though he had chosen not to notice them. The forest was alive and inhabited, eyes were shining everywhere, whispers and laughter could be heard. But now… it was empty. Completely. From the realization of this, the tension in Lars’ body had already grown to unthinkable limits and threatened to tear him apart! But then…

Lars heard singing.

The familiar humming echoed throughout the quiet forest. Three high notes, one slightly lower, then repeat and three more… Lars knew exactly the motive. He heard it, it seems, a million years ago…

“P…”

The Off Colors were silent, staring questioningly at their captain. Meanwhile, his heart was pounding so hard it felt like it was pounding in his throat. Listening to the melody that made his hands tremble, Lars began to look around, trying to determine the direction… To the right! Past a decorated fir tree in the middle of a berry bushes. Over snowdrifts and through thickets of thorny shrubs. Straight down the thin path to the flashing red-and-white silhouette. What was he thinking?! Alone in an empty forest, not noticing anything around, how carelessly! At a dangerous time like this! 

“Pa…”

Lars rushed forward. The creaking of the snow didn't seem to keep up with his footsteps, a thick steam from his mouth and tears from his mouth made it hard for him to see… 

“PAPYRUS!!!”

“AH!!! WHAT?!”

The poor skeleton shuddered like a sparrow startled, and started to look around in confusion, while someone wrapped his arms tightly around him.

"You're alive!! My stars, I was so scared! Are you alright? You’re not injured? No broken bones?”

“Broken? Bones? What bones?? What the What?!? What’s going on?! Who…

...Lars?”

Chapter Text

Interrupted so suddenly and unceremoniously from his meditative occupation, Papyrus stared at the pirate in disbelief, as if he was looking at a ghost. Not a ghost monster like Undyne's shy neighbor. But a hallucination, a mind trick that conjured up the image of a dear friend he'd lost forever… Forever, right?

“Lars…” he repeated, carefully poking his finger on the pink cheek. The pirate frowned his eyebrows worriedly.

"Pap? Pap, are you okay?”

“Am I… Am I okay?” When the first wave of shock had passed, the skeleton blinked, widened its black eye sockets in horror and broke the embrace. “Are YOU okay?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!” 

Papyrus' voice was so loud, even snow fell from the nearby branches, right on the heads of Lars' five companions, just as they approached them. Papyrus gasped.

"And what are THEY doing here? Oh Lars… what have you done!!”

"Well I, I’m just… sort of…" the pirate hesitated, obviously not expecting such a cold welcome. But he somehow managed to pull himself together. “We received a message from you guys. Someone was asking for help, so we rushed here. You… What, you’d think I'd just ignore it?”

Still looking at him in disbelief, Papyrus suddenly covered his mouth with his hands. He couldn't focus on what Lars was saying, instead just stared at him, half listening. Frustration of seeing his friends stuck in the underground again was mixed with joy of reuniting. Such different feelings at the same time tore him apart, triggering opposite responses… But he finally chose one thing over another and rushed forward.

"Oh my God, Lars, you! I can't believe it! I missed you so much!!” he said rapidly and excitedly, hugging the pirate tightly. Lars, completely confused, exchanged puzzled glances with his crew. They just shrugged their shoulders. How could they know about the peculiarities of the monsters' behavior! Meanwhile, Papyrus finally noticed the confusion he had driven everyone into, and Lars in particular, loosened his grip a bit and began explaining: “I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to greet you like that! I was just… It was so sudden! I mean, you're gone forever, and I, I… I didn't think you'd actually come back!”

"After that message? Seriously? Who do you take me for?!”

“Message? What message?” the skeleton finally asked. "From whom?"

"How should I know? You tell me!”

"It was ”help me”. That’s all," one of the twins suddenly intervened in the conversation, "You mean you never send anything like that?”

“No? How would I even do that? We have no options to send signals into space! That is, now…” Papyrus let go of Lars and started digging in his pockets. "Lars' radio was the only thing capable of it, but it hasn't been fixed yet, as far as I know. But… Um…”

“Did you lose something?" the pirate inquired. Papyrus shook his head in embarrassment, mentally berating himself for forgetfulness. Since when is his memory playing tricks on him?

“I probably left my phone at home. Sans is in the lab right now, so… Oh right, Lars, can you imagine! He's working there again! Well, he still can’t organize his sleep schedule yet, but he's also stopped being late, almost… Isn’t it great? I'm so happy for him!”

Lars smiled, hearing these news. And yet, Papyrus noticed a shadow of concern in his smile – there it is, his distinguishing feature, always worrying about everyone. Was it because of that message they’re all talking about? Papyrus hated to admit it, but there was nothing he could do to help with that… At least for now.

"Okay, this is what we're gonna do. We get to Snowdin and call Sans. If there's anything wrong in the underground he should be the first to know . And since you're here anyway… in full force…”

The skeleton fell silent for a moment. Lars followed his gaze and slapped himself on the forehead.

“Oh yeah! I forgot to introduce you guys properly! Well Pap, I’d like you to meet my crew! This is-”

“Fluorite, Rhodonite, Rutile twins and Padparadscha,” Papyrus suddenly listed the names without hesitation, unmistakably pointing to the one he named. Then he smiled radiantly, looking at the gems with boundless admiration. "I know. Lars has told me so much about you all!”

Startled, the pirate remained frozen stiff while Papyrus took another close look at his friends. Tall Fluorite, six beautiful stones glittering on her forehead, chest and stomach, smiled sweetly at him in response. Rhodonite looked at the skeleton with caution, hiding behind her friend and nervously tousling her bicolored hair. Tiny Padparadscha seemed to be a bit delayed with her reaction but Papyrus already knew about the reasons so it didn’t confuse him. And the Rutiles… Absolutely amazing siamese twins! They whistled both at the same time, impressed by his awareness:

“Whoa. Either Captain really told you about us a lot… Or you're just very observant!”

“Both,” the skeleton rolled from heel to toe, hands behind his back. "I'm Papyrus. I apologize for my first reaction, I didn't mean to cause offence… In fact, I'm so glad to finally meet you!”

“Well, so are we,” Rhodonite said, finally smiling a little. “Thank you for taking care of our captain the other day…”

"We hope he didn't cause you much trouble," the twins added.

"Of course not! Actually, It was more fun with him here! Come on, I'll tell you everything on the way to Snowdin. You must be cold.”

“But… Didn't we distract you from something?” Lars asked cautiously, following the skeleton, who was already walking along the road in the opposite direction from the cave they had come out of. The Off Colors hurried after them, confused. Papyrus' sudden changes in mood seemed to be new to them.

“Don't worry, I can do it any other day!”

“And what exactly have you been doing?”

“Collecting my traps. The monsters go deeper into the dungeon because of the earthquakes, so it's pointless to leave these things in the forest.”

"Earth…quakes?"

Lars felt worried glances of his crew members in the back of his neck. It's bad. Very bad! Images of the twisted gates and the whole mountain shaking vividly surfaced in the memory of each of them.

“Could it be because of us? We've been trying to break the barrier from the outside, and it kinda caused the shaking…”

"Was it recently? Then no, I don't think that’s the problem," Papyrus waved his hand, reassuring them. “The earthquakes started almost immediately after you left. The first ones took place near the Ruins. That’s the area located beyond the forest…”

"So that's why we didn't encounter any monsters there!" Rhodonite breathed a sigh of relief. “You’re leaving the epicenter…”

"Oh, you were in the Ruins? How did you like it there?”

“Too dark.”

“Far too empty.”

“Freaking spooky I’d say.”

Papyrus laughed.

"Really? I've never been there! Then, I guess, I lost nothing.”

“What do you mean, you’ve never been there? But we saw houses…" Lars scratched the back of his head.

"These are very old, Lars. Nobody lives in the Ruins now," the skeleton explained, raising his finger, as if was going to give a long boring lecture. ”The elders told us that, when humans locked us up here, the Ruins became our first home. But soon it became crowded, and some of the monsters decided to go further. They began to discover new zones in the underground and settle in: those who were not afraid of the cold settled in Snowdin, then a city appeared in Waterfall, and then in Hotland… Eventually, the Ruins became completely empty, and the monsters, that stayed there until the very end, found shelter in the newest zone, beyond Hotland. The king named this place the New Home and declared it our capital…”

"And that’s where the royal castle is?" Lars suddenly interrupted him, guessing.

“That's right!”

"So I've got it all wrong," the pirate muttered, running his fingers through his hair. "I thought the castle was under a mountain. But it turns out that we came from the other side!”

"But you said there was only one exit adjacent to the barrier!” Rhodonite said to Lars. Papyrus gazed up at the gray ceiling, from which a whole crowd of fluffy snowflakes were falling on them.

“My brother and I told him that. But we didn't know any other way out… Sans had never been to the Ruins either. To be honest, I don’t think anyone has been there since the New House was built. Except for the curious kids, I suppose," the skeleton shrugged apologetically. "I'm sorry, Lars. I probably should’ve checked that place first. Then I wouldn't have to drag you all the way to Hotland…”

“Aw come on,” the pirate waved his hand. "I couldn't get through it anyway. Without the soul of a strong monster, no one can cross the barrier alone, right? Isn't that what Undyne said?”

“Yes, of course, but…”

“Hey! Don't worry about it,” Lars put his arm around his friend’s shoulder and shook him. “I came back anyway, as you can see, so it doesn't matter anymore! Okay?”

The skeleton smiled softly. Right. What's the good of talking about it now? Lars was back, and, honestly, Papyrus was unable to hide the selfish joy he felt about that. Therefore, he simply nodded and walked even more cheerfully in the direction of the town, to which he was leading his unexpected guests.

Sans will be so surprised…

***

Snowdin has been noticeably emptier since Lars' last visit. All the houses and decorations were still in place, but there were far fewer monsters: the complete lack of activity in the shops, the emptiness in the bar and cafes, the unusual gloomy silence on the streets… There were no more children running around, no adults on the central square by the Christmas tree — all the way from the bridge to Sans and Papyrus' home, the pirates only met a couple of elders chatting on a bench. Lars was glancing around nervously, hoping to see at least one familiar face, until Papyrus explained:

“Snowdin still suffers from the earthquakes, so many of our neighbors accepted the king's offer to move to the capital. Only the stubborn ones are left here, as you can see.”

"And you?" Lars asked. “Are you guys stubborn ones too?”

The skeleton frowned and shook his head.

"I can't leave, Lars! Who will protect the remaining residents of Snowdin if their hero leaves? As for Sans, I offered him to move to the lab many times, but he said he doesn't want to leave me here alone.”

“Can't blame him. I wouldn't want to leave my family either, knowing they could be in danger at any moment," Lars muttered. Though he hadn’t asked his parents how they were doing in a while… It would be worth sending them a message, perhaps, or even visiting them as soon as possible. If he could get out of here again, of course.

When they finally reached the house, Papyrus stood in front of the door and turned to his guests with a beaming smile on his face.

“Well, here we are! I hope you're not afraid of dogs, because there's one waiting for us inside.”

"A dog? What kind of dog?” the twins perked up.

“You have a dog?” Rhodonite asked, intrigued. Papyrus laughed, not expecting to get such a reaction.

“I see, then there's no need to worry!” He concluded and took hold of the door handle. “In that case, friends, welcome to our-”

However, he didn't have time to open the door to his modest dwelling, as the handle suddenly moved on its own. Papyrus automatically stepped aside, and Lars could barely restrain himself from shouting with joy. A short skeleton in a blue hoodie, holding a half-eaten hot dog in his hand, stepped outside and leaned on the door frame, asking calmly:

"What's all the hubbub, bub? Did you already uninstall…” But he froze in place when his gaze suddenly came across his brother's companions, whom he didn’t expect to see here under any circumstances. The doorstep fell into an awkward silence, while the skeleton's white pupils jumped from Papyrus to a pink-haired guy smiling impatiently in response, and from him to five strangers, lingering on them for an indecently long time. When he saw enough, Sans finally brought the hot dog to his mouth and took a bite of it, starting to chew thoughtfully.

“Hey. The hotel is down the street," he finally concluded after swallowing a piece. Papyrus threw up his hands indignantly.

“Sans! Don't be so inhospitable! Don't you see who's here?!”

“Yup. I see. That's why I'm starting to wonder if I put the right sauce in my hot dog.”

"It's not a hallucination, Sans, Lars is really back!" The younger brother exclaimed happily. “And he brought his friends, the Off Colors… Well, don't just stand there, invite them in!!”

“Sure," Sans gestured, inviting them to walk with him, and shuffled further into the living room. The gems modestly passed one after the other through the door, which fortunately turned out to be large enough for even Fluorite to squeeze through. “Welcome to our house, everyone. Make yourself at home, don't be shy. We’re always glad to have guests.”

“That's right,” Papyrus continued after him. “Especially such guests! Although, I'm sure our joy is nowhere near as great as-”

Before he could finish his sentence, a small white hurricane suddenly flew into the living room from the kitchen. Barking loudly and wagging his tail, he ran around each of those present, until finally stopped next to Padparadscha, leaning on her with his front paws and began to lick both her cheeks at once. The gem stood motionless for almost a full minute before loudly announcing:

"Oh, we're going to have a wonderful acquaintance! Papyrus and his brother have an absolutely adorable white puppy!”

Seemed that this was enough to remove the awkwardness from the guests. While the dog, pleased with the attention, wagged his tail happily with all his might, Sans, Lars and Papyrus stood aside, watching them with smiles. The introverts found a doggie at a party — an oil painting.

"Your friends look funny," Sans chuckled softly. Papyrus reacted immediately:

"What do you mean, brother? They are wonderful!”

“Of course bro. That's what I said.”

“Oh stop with your nonsense!" Papyrus snorted, putting his hands on his hips. "Tell me, have you heard anything about a message that someone sent to Lars from the underground? And why aren't you at work?!”

“What message?”

"Not you too!” the pirate rolled his eyes, intervening in the conversation. “Someone sent an SOS signal. The voice was unfamiliar, but it was definitely transmitted from your planet!”

"Is that so?" Sans raised an eyebrow, munching on his hot dog. " Never heard ‘bout it. And how could we possibly send you a message? The radio lies disassembled in Alphys' office.”

"That's what I told him!"  Papyrus shrugged.

"But someone had to do it," Rhodonite suddenly confirmed her captain's words, breaking away from the dog. "Decoding the signal brought us here, so it couldn't have been a mistake. Are you absolutely sure there's no one here who could send a short message to the ship?”

Papyrus and Sans exchanged confused glances. Lars looked from one to the other, then at his Off Colors. Something strange was going on, since even the brothers weren't aware of it. Which meant he had to figure it out by himself! But how?

Meanwhile, Papyrus broke the silence first.

"I’ll call the lab and ask if everything is okay. Be right back. Brother, please refrain from your sparkling humor for at least an hour, okay?” He said before running up the stairs and quickly disappearing in his room. Sans gave him a playful salute.

“Trying my best, bro, but the audience is way too sparkling. Get it?” He elbowed the pirate. “‘Cause they shine?”

“I've missed you, Sans," Lars confessed, stretching his lips into a genuine smile.

"That’s why you came back, huh? And brought me five new listeners, no less.”

“I didn't bring them! They decided to come along!”

The gems nodded in unison.

“Of course! We would never let you go alone again!” the right Rutile twin snorted. The left one finished after her: "Especially under such circumstances.” 

“Still gabbing about that message?” Sans asked.

“But someone had to send it! And if it wasn't you or Papyrus, then…”

“Believe me, Alphys couldn't have sent that either,” the skeleton shrugged calmly, looking absolutely, one hundred percent confident. "She's got too much work to do right now."

“But how then…”

“Dunno. But we'll find out. After all, you won't have to go too far to find if someone’s in trouble. There’s nowhere to go.”

Lars frowned, a bad feeling rummaging through his soul like a tiny fat worm. But he had to put that feeling on the back burner — there was nothing he could do now anyway. Besides, wasn't the fact that both brothers were alive and well more important? 

“Well, all right… I'm just happy you're both okay. I wouldn't forgive myself if someone hurt you while I wasn't here.”

“Oh really?" Sans narrowed his eyes roguishly. "So nice to hear you say that, kid. Didn't know you loved us so much.”

The Off Colors couldn't help but let out a soft whickering. Lars didn’t react to this base provocation, however, his pride didn't stop him from trying to hide his flushed face from Sans' omnipresent gaze.

“Anyway! Now we can focus on destroying the barrier, right?” he said, changing the subject. “How far advanced are you?”

"Just like with your radio. Zero percent,” Sans walked past the Off Colors and the dog, and started to get comfortable on the green sofa. “Alphys was starting to get confused about the idea. In short, she is concerned about the recharge cycle limit in the mini reactor.”

"And how about… using a Core?" Fluorite asked, looking at him carefully. “If I understand correctly… the mini reactor is, in fact, just a copy of it?”

"Too risky,” Sans muttered, scratching his ear with his finger. "We may run out of energy altogether. And that's the most important thing we have left.”

“This sucks,” Lars summarized.

"Yup. But it sucked from the very beginning, so…”

"I only left you for a couple of minutes, and you're already having some depressing conversations!" A disgruntled voice called from above. A moment later, Papyrus ran down the stairs, holding his phone in his hand. “Stop it. Don't wanna hear anything like this from any of you!”

"Sorry, Pap, we won't do it again,” Lars promised, rubbing the back of his head in embarrassment. "Have you reached the lab yet?"

“Yes, and everything is fine there too. I really have no idea who could’ve sent that message… But I know for sure that Undyne and Alphys will be happy to see you!”

“Already told them?”

The skeleton put his hands behind his back, smiling slyly.

“Nope! Let them find it out for themselves.”

"So you're suggesting we pay a visit," Lars smiled back. "Good idea.”

"And we can finally… meet Alphys?" Fluorite beamed with genuine delight. Papyrus nodded.

“Of course you can! Alphys is a little busy right now, but I'm sure she'll find time for friends.

“That is great… We still… haven't thanked her properly.”

“When can we go?"

Lars chuckled.

“Don't rush your fences, guys, let me catch my breath first! Hotland is pretty far away…”

"We’ll arrange everything soon, don't worry,” Papyrus turned to his brother. "Isn't that right, Sans?"

“Sure, no problem. In the meantime, since you're so energetic, why not give you a tour of Snowdin? While it's still intact.”

"I certainly don't like these earthquakes of yours," Lars said, frowning. “Have you found out the reasons yet?”

“In the process, buddy, in the process. It's not that simple.”

“Yay, the tour! Can we walk around Snowdin together, Captain?” Padparadscha smiled charmingly and clapped her hands. “It's so beautiful here!”

Lars scratched his head, looking out the large window behind the sofa. A calm, measured walk after many hours of stress would be nice actually… And since Sans and Papyrus acted so calm about it, why should he worry so much?

"You’re right, Pad. Things can wait. After all, I haven't been here for so long…”

It seems like forever.

Chapter Text

Lars carefully stepped on the roof and swayed a bit, holding onto the window sill, checking if the roof was stable enough. He and Papyrus already removed the snow from it, so nothing prevented them from climbing here from the window of Papyrus' room and snuggling on blankets stacked next to each other, surrounded by garlands of light bulbs. The skeleton obviously tried to arrange everything. He even brought tea.

"Are you comfortable? Should I bring more pillows?”

"Nah, Pap, everything’s great. Better than a five-star hotel,” Lars reassured him. “Do you spend your evenings like this often?"

Papyrus smiled and nodded in the affirmative, “Yeah. I really like sitting on the roof and watching the snowflakes! Actually, it was one of those things that I didn’t have time to share with you. I regretted it so much later…”

“Well, here we are now, right? And let me just say, it's really awesome here! Such a view," the pirate smiled too, admiring the quiet Snowdin from above, covering himself with a warm, soft blanket. The evening turned out to be wonderfully clear and the weather had a little mercy on them, but snowflakes still fell in abundance on their foreheads and shoulders, melting and rolling down the skin and neck. After walking around the town decorated with toys and colorful lights, the Off Colors felt so exhausted they fell asleep almost immediately. Right now they were dozing in the house in the dog and Sans’ company, so Lars decided to use the opportunity and spend a little more time with Papyrus. Although the condition of the gems amazed him. He never imagined he'd see them so tired twice in one day…

On the other hand, was it even just one day? Or maybe he didn't notice a whole week had passed at once.

"Are your friends all right? It seems we've exhausted them," Papyrus suddenly asked, handing him a cup of tea. Reading his mind again, huh…

“Oh, they’re fine, don't worry. Usually they are more hardy though, maybe it's the barrier that affects them so much," Lars blew on the cup to cool it down before taking a sip, just in case. “This is the first time I've seen them nodding off before they even get to the couch. And they don't even need to sleep! I mean, physically.”

"They don’t? How convenient! I wish I'd never needed sleep either. I'd have had so much time to do stuff!”

“Like what?”

“Well, Snowdin's hero has many things to do!” Papyrus began counting off points on his fingers. “To patrol the neighborhood, to inquire about the residents’ well-being, to compile and send reports. With all this work, there's not enough time for training, friends, and… oh!”

He stopped abruptly. However, less than a couple of seconds later, he spoke again, turning to Lars with a big bright smile.

“I forgot to tell you… While you were gone, I made a new friend!”

“Wow, really?” Lars exclaimed, pleasantly surprised. “But that’s great, Pap! Who is it? Do I know them? Where did you meet?”

Papyrus beamed with joy, “We met in the Snowdin forest about a couple of weeks ago. He's wonderful! Such a cheerful monster, knows a lot of interesting stories. I think we should all hang out together sometime. I'm sure you'll like him very much!”

“What, more than I already liked Undyne? I, umm…”

Lars paused for a moment, remembering something. These two… are they friends again? Was it still hard for Papyrus to even hear her name? But before he could say anything or change the subject, the skeleton beat him to it.

"You know, Undyne and I talked about a lot after you left. Your advice really helped me to find a way to approach her.”

“So… are you…?”

“Reconciled? Yes! There were a few sticking points, but we worked it all out. I think we began to trust each other even more after that incident. It's such a great feeling, Lars, you were absolutely right about our friendship becoming stronger. Since that conversation, everything has become so plain and simple, as if being friends with someone is the most natural thing in the world. And I'm sure Undyne shares that feeling too…”

While Papyrus was talking, jumping from one thought to another, Lars listened to him, concentrating his tired gaze on the bridge of his nose. A flavoursome warming tea had an interesting sedative effect on him. He even forgot about all the disturbing news for a while: the SOS signal, the source of which suddenly disappeared, earthquakes, which forced all the monsters to leave their homes. Sitting on the roof under a warm, soft blanket, in pleasant company, Lars felt… funny. Peacefully. It was as if he had finally returned to where his heart belonged. As if… being home.

Come to think of it, Papyrus and Sans always made everything better, even on his first visit to the dungeon.

“I'm so glad to hear all this, Pap,” Lars said lazily when the skeleton finished talking. “You have no idea how happy I am that it ended like this…”

“Me too… And what about you? What's new in space?" Papyrus asked, fidgeting impatiently. It seemed that he expected to hear a lot of cool new information about endless stars, galaxies, planets. But to his great regret, Lars was not exactly in the mood. Not now. Not in such a serenely sleepy state.

“Well, you know, everything is the same. Shining, moving, all that," the pirate paused for a second, looking at Papyrus who was listening to him with great attention. He couldn't help but chuckle. “In general… Space is cool. But there was one small but very important detail I was missing terribly.”

Papyrus leaned forward curiously, "What detail?" 

"You, Pap,” Lars said. “I've missed you a lot.”

“Aww…”

Touched, Papyrus set his cup aside and hugged his friend tightly, burying his face in the pirate's neck. Lars gladly hugged him back with his free hand. He's never been a big hugger, but one day, a good friend taught him to appreciate small things like that. It's just… Sometimes it's the best way to express your feelings.

“I've missed you terribly too, Lars! It's become so quiet and lonely here without you, I've almost fallen apart. Therefore, no matter how selfish it may sound, I'm really glad you're back,” with that, Papyrus finally let him go and pulled his legs to his chest, wrapping his arms around them. The blanket slid off his shoulders onto the roof, but Lars picked it up, covering the skeleton again. He knew he wasn’t actually cold, it was just… cozier. “There’s only one thing I still don't understand. You were so eager to get back to your crew, and now… here you are again. Under the ground, trapped with a bunch of monsters," Papyrus chuckled quietly. "You… You didn't think you had no choice, did you?”

“Nah, I perfectly remember your words on this subject, Pap. I just made my choice. That's why I'm here.”

"I'm glad then… In the end, I was right. You really are a very good person.”

Papyrus seemed incredibly proud as he said this, as if he had just proved to the whole world that he was right from the very beginning to the very end. He was smiling broadly and looking at his friend with undisguised admiration, which, in his humble opinion, he more than deserved! However… For some reason, Lars' face changed.

His sleepy smile disappeared, replaced by a wry, pained expression. The calm look changed to anxiety, and the fingers holding the cup of hot drink tensed and turned white. Papyrus frowned uncomprehendingly and tilted his head to the side.  Noticing his confusion, Lars forced himself to talk.

“Don't… Don't say that, please.”

“What? Why? What’d I say?”

The pirate tried to brush it off and twitched the corner of his mouth, as if was trying his best to put a smile back on his face. But it turned out badly.

“Because… I don't deserve these words. Not from you. Not after I abandoned you all.”

"Abandoned? You? Lars, what are you saying…”

“What's it look like?” he muttered, turning his face away from Papyrus and burying his intense gaze into the cup. The feeling of calm and peace was lost. All because of a couple of words! No, Lars had no intention of blaming Papyrus for saying them, it was his own fault for how he reacted. And yet, how disappointing. "You think I haven't thought about myself once in all this time. But that's not true, Pap, It was you who risked a lot — and I just took advantage of your kindness. You, Sans, Undyne, Alphys, all of you did so much to help me, and I did nothing for you in return. I'm… I'm no better than the people who locked you up here.”

“But it's not true!” Papyrus quickly shook his head. Lars continued, not hearing him.

"A good person would refuse to leave without his friends. A good person would solve all his friends’ problems overnight and would give everything to it. I'm not like that. I don't deserve your kindness. I don't deserve to be called a good person…”

“Lars, stop it at once!!”

Papyrus' voice was quiet enough not to disturb anyone. But it was also angry enough to let the pirate know he wasn't happy with the words he was saying. The skeleton was clearly struggling not to stamp his foot on the roof — frowning sternly, he was flushed with anger, which Lars didn’t expect to see, especially given the absence of skin on his body. But now wasn’t the time to ask how he’d managed it. Right now, Lars could only stare at him in amazement. He had never seen him like this before.

"Now, listen to me, Lars! You. Are. A good. Person. I would even say, a wonderful person! And I have proof of that! You showed kindness to me and my brother, even though we didn't hide the fact that we were going to catch you and put you in a cage like some kind of animal. You risked your own life to save Undyne when the bridge started to collapse, and you didn't even ask for thanks. You refused to kill the king and whoever else, even realizing this was the only way for you to return home! Isn't all this enough for you? Isn't it enough that you… you were always there for me when I needed you?”

Papyrus paused to catch his breath, but Lars didn't take this opportunity to say anything. He wasn't sure he had the right, and he didn't wanted to talk in general. He remained silent even when the skeleton suddenly turned his face towards the city and continued in a wistful voice:

"And most importantly… You came back for us, even though you knew full well that you might never get out of here again. After all this, how can you consider yourself equal to those who created the barrier to keep us here? To those who abandoned us to live in the darkness for all eternity… You! A person who had to overcome so much for us! Isn't that fair to yourself, Lars?”

"I…”

"You say one nasty thing about yourself, and I punch you in the face!" Papyrus suddenly warned. Lars burst out laughing in surprise, covering his mouth with his hands.

“What the hell was that, a threat??”

"And what if it was? Wanna fight?”

The pirate quickly shook his head, refusing such an unattractive offer. He had already rolled around in the snow once, thanks to Papyrus — a second time would be too much.

And then, for some reason, everything has become simple. The heaviness in his chest hasn’t disappeared completely, but it certainly became easier to breathe. He wasn't so ashamed anymore. Maybe he really went overboard with self-flagellation. Perhaps it was really unfair to himself, and he should’ve listened to Papyrus. Maybe he wasn't so bad after all.

"I'm sorry, Pap. Really. I guess I just speak without thinking…”

“Speak without thinking, yeah, that's for sure!” Papyrus shook his finger at him. “Anda since we are talking about it, you should’ve thought twice before rushing to save us, too! Especially without checking who called you.”

“But I came here exactly to check who called me!” Lars replied. “That was the main idea… And let's be honest, I would’ve come back anyway, regardless of the risks.”

“I… I know,” the skeleton got sadder again. “But don't you realize how likely it is for you to be stuck here with us forever?”

“I do,” Lars nodded soberly. “Not seeing a downside, tho…”

Papyrus paused, staring at him in disbelief for a whole minute. Then, he pushed him strongly into the shoulder. The pirate, who somehow managed not to spill his tea, laughed softly, hiding from him behind a blanket.

"Oh my god, Lars! You're such an idiot sometimes!! Can you please be more serious at a time like this?!”

After a few minutes, the roof completely disappeared under the snow, so they had to pack up and return to the house, leaving the streets and the few residents of Snowdin to relax in complete silence. They spent the rest of the night in the kitchen, chatting quietly and sharing the latest news with each other until Sans woke up and sent them to bed. Judging by Papyrus' amused reaction, he even liked this role reversal. It is probably funny to feel like a naughty little brother for a change…

Chapter Text

"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND?!”

Undyne was in a mood. Well, considering that her only eye was blazing with anger, she was absolutely furious – and if looks could kill, there’s no doubt Lars would be dead by now. He was lucky to have Papyrus there for him, who tried very hard to hide his poor friend from the righteous wrath of the captain of The Royal Guard. They both understood, though, such attempts are doomed to failure.

"What the heck, dude! You got a death wish or something?!”

“Undyne, please calm down!” the skeleton pleaded, restraining her as much as he could. Undyne seemed pretty adamant in her desire to tear Lars apart with her bare hands. Hands that could swing a heavy spear like a feather pen or hold a sword twice the size of an average person, by the way. These were much more dangerous than any weapon! 

“The FUCK you mean, calm down? And why are YOU so calm?! This asshole has completely undermined all the hard work we've done by coming back here! Doesn't that make you mad?!”

“But I came to rescue you guys!" the pirate tried to defend himself. Heat flashed in Undyne’s eye, making him flinch and hide behind Papyrus’ back again. "Please don't kill me, please, I’m not ready yet…”

“Oh, don't worry, punk, I'm not gonna kill you…” she said to him in a dangerously low voice. “I'll just help you change the shape of your pretty little nose, that’s all. Now, Pap, stop holding me back and LET ME JUST HIT HIM ONCE!”

“Absolutely not!!”

The whole dramatic scene unfolded almost instantly, as soon as Lars appeared on the doorstep of Undyne's house. The poor Off Colors didn't have much time to look around before their captain was hit by a wave of rage and indignation. It just so happened that Undyne’s intimidating appearance and extremely emotional reaction didn’t fit in with the image of the most honest, kind and fun-loving monster which Papyrus gave them on the way here. They just didn’t quite understand… Is she and Lars even friends? Torn with doubts, the Off Colors stood aside and kept quiet, just in case, while the dog growled, protecting them from Undyne’s wrath — although not directed at them at all. Lars cursed quietly: what a little traitor he is, completely exchanged him for five gems! But… how could he seriously judge him for that?

“Damn you, Pap! FINE! Have it your way…” Undyne finally surrendered. She groaned in frustration and put hands on her hips, showing with every movement she was still extremely angry. "Why so stubborn, anyway? Don't you understand the practical usefulness of periodic beatings?”

“I'm sure Lars won’t appreciate it. And stop pretending you're not happy to see him!” the skeleton frowned and shook his finger at her. 

"Well,” she grinned devilishly, “that doesn't stop me from beating him up a bit, right?"

“Undyne!!”

“Okay, okay, fine, I admit it! Happy to see him! Well, kinda…”

Her unusually confused voice made Lars look over his friend's shoulder, squinting.

“You do?”

“Don't you dare doubt me when I'm so sincere, punk, or I'll give you a black eye! So, how about a hug?”

Feeling he had no choice, the pirate came out from behind Papyrus’ saving shadow and cautiously moved forward. Then he was immediately pulled into a stupefyingly strong, back-crushing, muscle-squeezing embrace. He was actually worried for a second that Undyne planned to strangle him in the first place! But he dodged a bullet. Though he may have a couple of bruises after that.

"Damn, you're such a stupid asshole, why did you even come back? You do realize you won't be able to start the teleporter a second time, do you?”

“I am aware. The risk was calculated, everything is according to plan.”

“Well, your plan sucks! But okay, I guess, I really missed you. Didn't think I'd ever be so glad to see a human," Undyne chuckled ironically. Lars gave a strangled laugh in response.

"I can say the same about you, Miss Rip-your-soul-out-with-my-bare-teeth."

“Come on now, are you going to throw that in my face the rest of my life?”

"That was the plan… Hey, can I breathe for a second?"

Finally, Undyne released him from her death grip, didn't let him catch his breath right away though, and slapped him on the shoulder with all her might. As always, her mood changed so quickly – but thanks to this Lars felt as if he had never left the underground. The same familiar house and life-threatening hospitality – it was simply impossible not to feel happy and blissful here. If only she knew how much he missed her…

Meanwhile, Undyne looked around and finally noticed the five newbies hiding behind the dog.

“Now, who do we have here?”

“My crew. Why?”

"You brought your friends here, too?" Undyne said almost threateningly. It wasn't hard to see the condemnation in her golden eye. “Dude.”

“But they’re…! Eh, what's the point,” Lars waved his hand, leaving attempts to explain himself. “Allow me to introduce my friends. This is Fluorite, my engineer, and the Rutile twins, chief pilot of the ship. Rhodonite is the head of strategic planning, and, of course, Padparadscha, our technician. Guys, quit hiding! Dyne doesn't bite.”

"I can," she snorted. "But I won't, don't worry. This jerk's friends are my friends!”

Hearing this, the Off Colors smiled, somewhat uncertainly, one by one. After a quick glance at their comrades, Rutile twins came forward to greet a new friend properly.

“Glad to hear that. Although it looks like you don't get along very well…”

"Big deal, I only tried to kill him once.”

Rhodonite gasped for air.

“What?!”

“Nothing!” Lars laughed awkwardly. “Just a little misunderstanding, a couple of arguments, that’s all… It's in the past, guys. Actually, Undyne helped me a lot last time! Using a teleporter was her idea. Besides, she and Alphys are close friends.”

“What?!” Padparadscha reacted with a delay. Fortunately, the others relaxed after hearing the explanation. It appeared this one detail radically changed the whole situation for them.

“Well… Again, nice to meet you, Undyne," Rutile twins smiled again and extended both their hands to her. Undyne shook them firmly, and then waved to the remaining crew members, who had decided to stay in the same places for the time being. Nevertheless, the atmosphere in the house became much lighter, and Lars couldn’t be happier.

Besides, Undyne didn't seem surprised by anything about the gems. On the contrary, her reaction to them was no different from how she would react to meeting another monster. Just like Sans and Papyrus, the appearance of the Off Colors didn’t cause her even a fraction of the same amazement that Lars' friends from Earth and some residents of other planets usually had. Well, he didn't expect otherwise. In a place where skeletons, amphibians and anthropomorphic animals all lived together, there was no place for xenophobia.

Generally speaking, Undyne herself made a bigger impression on his crew than they did on her. Ha! Who would’ve thought…

"So you're going to the lab, huh? The road has become more dangerous, so I think I should walk you there. I was gonna transport the remaining monsters from Waterfall there too, but I guess it can wait.”

“The residents of Waterfall are leaving too?” Lars asked with concern. “Let me guess. Earthquakes?"

"Exactly. The earthquakes provoke stalactite crashes and split the cave walls — it turned out, there are some mushrooms inside that give off poisonous vapours. Don't even ask me how we found it out…”

Undyne hunched her shoulders. Lars frowned and chewed his lip worriedly, but didn’t want to bother her by asking. 

“It sounds pretty dangerous,” he muttered instead.

She nodded, “Yeah. Therefore, Alphys suggested everyone move to Hotland. The lab is spacious enough to accommodate a few neighbors, and there's less shaking… All these strong underpinning we installed in the past turned out to be extremely useful.”

“Anyone planning to deal with the earthquakes?”

“We tried, dude, it’s no use…”

“Lars, there's no time right now!” Papyrus jumped into the conversation. “First of all, we need to evacuate everyone, and only then dig into all the indications and look for sources!”

“Then, how about we help to evacuate the monsters from here to Hotland?” the right Rutile suddenly suggested. “Since we are heading there anyway.”

Undyne rubbed the back of her neck thoughtfully. Papyrus gave her an eloquent look, which, it seemed, she wasn't even going to argue with. Why bother? There was no other great option. And anyway, any help would be valuable. Especially from someone you trust.

"You're pilots, right? Can you steer the boat?”

“No problem,” twins nodded synchronously. “It can't be more difficult than to fly a spaceship.”

“This is great!” Papyrus clapped his hands happily. “We've just built some new boats, but there is only one River Person, so the evacuation is delayed. If you can do that, it will REALLY help us! Isn't that right, Undyne?”

“Yeah, actually,” she agreed. A grateful smile lit up her face. "Then… Give me a moment to gather everyone at the boat station. We'll all go together.”

“Sure thing, meet us at the pier.”

“It’ll take less than ten minutes. Pap, tell the River Person to get boats ready!” Undyne said before turning around and ran out the house as fast as she could. “Be back soon!”

***

Even though Lars had been a frequent visitor to Waterfall in the past, he rarely met its residents face to face. One evening, he bumped into Shyren, who was studying piano with Undyne, met Gerson at the store a couple of times, and that was it — the others continued to keep their distance and weren’t eager to get to know the human better. So now he looked with great interest at everyone who was slowly flocking to the boat station: a brown, muscular mermaid horse (merhorse?), small animals with two pairs of ears, a creature with a clam instead of a head, even a ghost! To be honest, Lars didn't have enough imagination to imagine at least half of these creatures — now they were all here, wandering back and forth, muttering in low voices, discussing the upcoming journey with each other. They must’ve been afraid to become involved in such changes. At least a little bit.

“Okay, everyone's here, we can start. Friends, please take your seats!” Undyne announced as she walked to the edge of the dock, four boats already waiting on the water. All conversations, even the faintest whispers, stopped in an instant, and the monsters began to climb into boats, as if they were just waiting for the amphibian's order. The wooden pier creaked with every footstep, and the water splashed restlessly under it, rolling onto the shore every now and then. A painful pang of regret flooded Lars as he watched them go. Even though the monsters of Waterfall preferred to lead a quiet lifestyle, the town still felt populated now, but without inhabitants, it will become so empty and lifeless… 

But staying here was too dangerous for their lives and health — and Undyne couldn't let that happen.

“Lars, is everything okay?" Papyrus' voice jolted him back into reality from his thoughts. The pirate shook his head, turned to face him…

And froze. Admittedly, it took him a moment to figure out what had made him freeze in place, cowering as if something had scared him. But something about Papyrus was a bit... wrong. Unusual. But what exactly? Lars slowly examined him, making notes in his head: red gloves, a red scarf, a yellow flower on his shoulder, a white t-shirt-

Wait a minute. A yellow

flower…?

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!" Lars cried in horror, instinctively jumping backwards, his gaze fixed on a flower with bright yellow petals and an innocent smile on his face, a thin green stem, tightly wrapped around the skeleton's arm. A shudder ran through his whole body, a shooting pain pierced his chest, as if there was still a huge, unhealed wound. Lars was about to rush forward to rip the bastard off his friend, when suddenly Papyrus angrily exclaimed:

“Lars, how rude! It's not hell, it's my friend Flowey! I told you about him on the roof. Don’t you remember?”

The pirate froze again, continuing to stare at them in silence with round eyes. He tried very hard not to panic and not cause concern to all the monsters and gems gathered here… Well actually, he has already managed to alarm everyone. Undyne even summoned a spear just in case. But seeing that Lars was afraid of some tiny flower, everyone slowly began returning to what they were doing, leaving the poor guy alone with his racing thoughts.

He hasn't seen the damn flower since that fateful encounter at the river. Why now…

If Lars does something… How will Flowey respond? How dangerous is he for everyone?

What was he… up to?

“He was nearby, so I invited him to join us.” Papyrus explained with a soft sigh. “He wanted to meet you and your friends too.… Isn't that right, Flowey?”

“Oh, you betcha!” the flower smiled broadly, bouncing on his stem. “Papyrus told me soooo much about you guys!”

“What the-”

No, this is not real. This must be a joke!

“Lars, are you okay?” Papyrus became even more concerned. 

"Really, dude, what’s your deal? I mean, I've never seen you so dumbfounded," Undyne's surprised voice came from the side. “You have a fear of flowers or something?”

"But he's… I mean…”

It was all just a bad dream!

“Lars…”

"Aw, don't worry, Papyrus, it happens to me all the time,” Flowey affectionately patted the skeleton’s shoulder with a petal. Lars clenched his teeth. "After all, I'm a pretty unique monster, tee-hee!"

What the actual fuck?!

“Anyway, it's a pleasure to meet you, Lars. And your gem friends, of course! You all look unique too, I mean, I've never seen anyone like you!” Flowey turned his head around to get a better look at each gem. Especially Fluorite: he stared at her for a whole minute with excitement and childish curiosity. "Such pretty stones!"

“Thank you,” she smiled softly, touching the triangular stone on her forehead with her fingertips. It responded with the green and purple shimmering. "These are the center… of our existence. Which upholds the entire structure… of our physical form.”

“Physical form?” Undyne repeated the words with interest. “So your bodies are not material?”

"Not really. Our bodies are a solid projection… generated by our stones. If they get damaged… we lose our physical form and go deep into the stones… to recover.”

"After a while we can recreate the body again,” Rhodonite added. “Even with some changes, if needed.”

“Wowie! How convenient,” Papyrus eyes sparkled with excitement. “So you don't feel any pain when you get hurt?”

“Maybe a little bit.”

The skeleton turned his head to Undyne, literally glowing with happiness.

"See, Undyne! I'm not the only one who doesn't feel the pain!”

“Pap,” she looked at him with a complicated expression, “I think, this is a slightly different case…”

Lars wasn't listening.

As they continued to chat casually, he stared down unseeingly, petrified by the thought that this wasn’t just a bad joke. This wasn’t just a nightmare. It was reality: Flowey's here. Here! Dangerously close to him, to his friends, his crew! The bastard, who once killed him so easily. And he even dared to pretend to see Lars for the first time in his life!

What could he do? How could he protect everyone? If he tells everything right now, no one will believe him, even Papyrus… And he shouldn’t underestimate Flowey’s possible reaction! Who knows what he'll do if Lars won't play by his rules?!

“Hey.”

Lars flinched at the sudden whisper. Undyne carefully touched his shoulder with her fingertips.

"Look, I don't like this guy either, if you wanna know. But it's not for me to teach Papyrus who to be friends with.”

"Can I tho?"

She snorted softly in response.

“No, you can't, mister! I didn't trust you before either, remember? Better stop judging everyone in advance and… don't worry. This Flowey guy is a bit weird, but he’s nice to Papyrus. That's all that matters.”

With that, she patted him on the shoulder and moved away to help the elderly monster down into the boat. Lars watched her with empty eyes, ready to cry out in desperation. But Undyne was right. As much as he hated to admit it, there was nothing he could do right now. Only wait. Until Flowey makes the first move.

But Lars won't let him out of his sight…

***

After a few minutes, all the monsters were placed in the boats: one under the responsibility of the River Person, the second on Papyrus, the third on Undyne, and the fourth on the Rutile twins. The river wasn’t very wide, so they decided to swim one after the other, maintaining a constant speed. It was meant to be like clockwork, but... Lars, Undyne, and the gems, who were still standing on the dock, looked thoughtfully at the remaining seats.

"It seems… I won’t fit in there, after all,” Fluorite said with a slight smile on her face. “Is there… any other way to get to the lab?"

"Sure,” Undyne scratched her head thoughtfully, “but the earthquakes blocked much of the line. I'd prefer to walk you there…”

“Leave it to me, cap’n.”

They all turned their heads towards the voice. Sans appeared out of nowhere, as always, but Lars wasn’t even surprised this time. Has he finally got used to this?

“We'll keep an eye on the others who also go to the capital. There's only one guardian, I think he’ll appreciate the extra set of eyes. Especially several pairs, eh? Whaddya think, Fluorite?”

“Of course! All my eyes… are at your service.”

"Can I come with you too?" Rhodonite rubbed her shoulder nervously. “I actually don't like water. And the motion of the boat makes me feel seasick…”

"Seriously? But I’ve never seen you get sick in space,” Lars noted, raising his eyebrows. The fusion grimaced.

"That's different, Captain…"

He shrugged his shoulders. To be honest, Lars would prefer that his entire crew was as far away from Flowey as possible. But the twins had to drive the boat, and Padparadscha would be too tired from such a long journey… Well, so be it. These two have Lars, Undyne and Papyrus – and Sans would be able to protect the Fluorite and Rhodonite from anyone. Lars could easily rely on him.

"Welp, the more the merrier. The three of us, then,” Sans said. An insistent woof came from below, forcing him to squat down and pat the dog. "I mean, four. I know you don't like water either.”

“Okay. See you guys in the lab, then," Lars filched a glance at Flowey. He just couldn't stop thinking… What's his motive? Why did he even get close to Papyrus when Lars wasn't around? Is he really planning something? But what? What? What??

Noticing his gaze, the flower turned around and whispered something to Papyrus. Judging by the skeleton's reaction, it was something funny.

Not for Lars, apparently.