Chapter Text
He couldn't believe it. The Detective...she'd asked him...him...The Devil...to go out on a date with her. Despite knowing who and what he was.
The only two words the Devil could think of that described his so very lively world of emotions currently were joy and...hope.
Hope that this would work. That this was truly real. That there was a chance she actually accepted him, even the crispy parts.
It had been so very long since anyone who was not of celestial nature had...aside from Linda of course.
Lucifer chuckled as a thought crossed his mind.
It seemed like certain individuals with the title "Doctor" were rather more accepting of his true nature than most others.
Of course he knew it was nothing more than a coincidence, if even that at all. It was merely his own brain connecting anything and everything with one particular Doctor he hadn't seen in...well, it was difficult to say. A long time.
Oh, how he missed them.
No, not going there. Not today.
His eyes wandered over the table he'd already set. Something was missing.
,,Right...rose." and with that his previous thought process was being pushed in the background and he rushed to pick up the beautiful flower lying on the counter to put it in the vase that was already placed exactly in the middle of the table.
,,Bit to the right? Yes, that looks better, doesn't it?" Perfect. His own thoughts answered. The Devil smiled and let his arms swing slightly in excitement.
A "ding" announced the arrival of his date. His date.
Still in a sort of dreamy trance he turned around to the direction the sound had come from, just to be entranced once more.
He could only barely suppress a huge grin and instead put on his best charming smile.
,,Hi, Lucifer." The Detective said. Oh and how lovely her voice was.
,,Detective, you look...beautiful." That was certainly one word to put it.
She smiled. Beautiful indeed.
,,Thank you." The Detective answered, then turned to look at the table, where they'd sit down just in a few moments and have their date. He really truly couldn't get his mind around that fact.
,,No white tablecloth this time?" she asked out of...was it curiosity? Yes, that must be it. He chuckled and looked down at said tablecloth.
,,Ah...no, well, that went down like a pork chop at a kosher wedding, so...I made some adjustments." She deserved the best and it just wouldn't be perfect if he'd done the same mistake as last time, so of course he did.
,,Of course you did." she said.
He didn't quite hear. ,,Hm?"
,,Well, it's very thoughtful." she looked at him with those beautiful eyes.
It was for sure not what she'd just said before, but Lucifer wasn't going to let a small detail like this make him overthink and ruin everything. Not tonight.
He returned his attention to The Detective.
,,Please, sit." Lucifer gestured to the table with his arms and she sat down. ,,Please. I...-" he turned around to get the freshly made food and place it in front of his guest and his own side of the table. ,,-...made you...grilled cheese."
He smiled brightly. ,,Your favorite. And not the smelly, fancy stuff." He scrunched his nose a bit at that, but the smile never wavered.
,,Just the yummy orange kind that you like." She smiled as well, but didn't say anything. She didn't have to. Her being here with him already was more than he ever could have hoped for.
That reminded him...
,,Detective, there is something I'd like to say to you." he started, his smile now replaced with an expression of a mix of fear and hope.
Lucifer started tapping his fingers against the table anxiously.
,,Hm?" She looked up directly into his eyes. Usually her eyes were the most beautiful thing to look at and while that was true now too, they were the scariest as well. After all, eyes were the windows to the soul and he knew this better than anyone.
If he'd look into them now he'd be faced with the truth. Nothing more and nothing less.
He looked down at his still restless hands.
,,Whilst I...realize that knowing the truth about me may not be easy for you..." when he himself couldn't even...couldn't bare to look at himself in either form. Wings or Devil Face...it was a true miracle she was still here sitting right in front of him. (Then again she was a literal miracle, so...)
,,I am glad that there are no secrets between us now." To try to make his point clearer he dared to look up.
Her nose, yes. Her nose was beautiful, wasn't it? Stop hiding from the truth. Shut up.
Not into her eyes yet, but close enough. Never close enough.
He shook his head as if to get rid of those bloody thoughts. Her nose was quite a bit more interesting than the eyes at the moment, that was all. Don't even try to lie to yourself. You know what'll happen when you look into her eyes.
Ignoring any further thoughts his mind came up with as much as possible he kept talking.
,,And if you ever have any more questions, I shall be happy to answer any and all of them. I've always been honest with you, Detective. And I always will be." He smiled, a genuine, truthful smile.
And she smiled back. There was a certain tightness in it though. She must be nervous. It only made sense.
Look closer. The voice in his head whispered, but he paid it no attention.
He took the wine bottle and poured some of it in her glass and his own.
What could he do to ease and brighten the atmosphere?
,,Oh! Sorry. Silly me. I forgot the music." Yes, that was what was missing. Music. Music was always good.
,,I made a playlist full of bad '90s jams for you." He pushed himself up on his feet and turned to leave to where he had prepared everything for the music.
,,Hm." she responded again while he was busy connecting his phone with the speakers to start the music he'd prepared specifically for her.
Ah there we go. He thought to himself. All ready.
And he pressed play.
,,THAT GIRL IS POISON" the first lyricsnroared from the speakers and Lucifer flinched slightly. Much louder than anticipated. Quickly he turned the volume down.
His head popped around the corner to see whether The Detective was as startled by the sudden loud noise as he was.
,,Oh, so sorry about that, Detective! Are you alright? I hope the loud music didn't startle you too much."
,,No, everything's okay!" she responded, still with an unfamiliar tightness.
,,That's good. Very good." He walked up to her to sit down on his own seat again. ,,Now...back to our date, shall we?" And damn did it feel great to say it out loud. An actual date with The Detective. He couldn't stop smiling.
He took his glass he'd filled with wine and she mirrored his action. As he raised it to his mouth and she did too, Lucifer noticed her eyes were more fixed on his glass than her own.
But the rest of his mind was too focused on the Detective's smile and her hair and her nose and her lips.
He took the first sip of his wine and then another.
The Detective had put down her own glass, now seemingly completely focused on him.
,,Detective, don't you like the wine? It's one of my favourites. Should I have gone with your favourite?" She didn't answer, instead stared at him with an unreadable facial expression.
He continued rambling on.
,,I should've, I apologise, Detective. Selfish of me to decide to...-" and in that moment he felt something in his body change. What it was, he couldn't tell. Bloody poor interoception.
,,Wha-..." He frowned as he felt his body parts go numb and for the first time he actually dared to look directly into The Detective's eyes.
No spark of happiness or excitement, not even that anxiousness he'd thought he'd seen before.
Now all he saw was a frightened expression, full of fear and what else was there? Triumph? Now you see? the voice in his head said...smugly?
,,I don't...I don't understand." he mumbled. Yes, you do. Yes, I do. He should've known from the moment she'd stepped out of the elevator into his penthouse, but he'd dismissed any and all of the signs.
An expression of pain and much more so, betrayal was now showing on his own face but she simply sat there as he fell on the ground and slowly curled himself up in pain and let out agonising noises.
And when he felt his eyes burn after another flash of horrible pain, and her startled and terrified expression, he knew his body was slowly turning into his other, more red and crispy form.
,,Detective..." He spoke, but it was much more raspy and broken now.
She had scrambled her things together now and took fast stumbling steps in the direction of her only escape route.
One last look from him. ,,Why?" He asked. You know why.
Ans one last look from her, completely filled with terror. No sign of any regret.
,,You're The Devil." she said as though it would justify what she'd done. For Lucifer, it did. He was The Devil after all.
He deserved this pain that was creeping up his entire body. He hadn't felt such agony in eons, it was like his soul was being ripped apart, torn between those three planes of existence. Heaven, Hell and Earth.
When would it stop? Would it ever stop? Did he even want it to stop?
Time passed as he kept repeating that loop of questioning whether this was what he deserved, never coming to an actual answer.
He deserved to be punished, yes. That much he was sure of. But was this the appropriate punishment? Didn't he deserve more than just this? No, you don't. Yes, he did.
"Whose side are you on anyways?" he asked the voice. Yours, theirs, mine. I'm on whichever "side" I please. "Not very helpful then, bloody brilliant." he responded in his mind.
Here's an actual advice though. Maybe today...today it's time to go /there/ after all, don't you ...-
,,No. Not even close to going there. Not even thinking about it."
Are you sure? You've got two options if you want to get out of this mess and relieve yourself of all this pain and between you and me...or, well, you and you since I am you - just much cleverer - no scrap that...you're clearly as clever as I am. You simply don't want to see the truth sometimes, or rather need a little nudge, a bit of help when it comes to you and your own feelings.
So two options.
"Assuming I even want this pain to end - it's bloody hard to even keep this conversation going by the way."
You do want it to end and I'm glad we're not considering a third option yet.
Lucifer coughed. "Yet."
Right. We both know the options and quite frankly, I prefer the second one. You obviously don't.
"I don't, no. I already told you...I could never...-"
Could never what? Let them see you like this? They've seen you in this form. Several times. And you know, we both know they accept you. So what is the difference now?
"They've never seen me in pain like this. Dying. I don't want them to have the burden of having to feel guilty for...for things they shouldn't feel guilty about. I don't want them to...-"
So this is entirely about them and trying to protect them from whatever they may come to face in the future.
"Yes. Would you be so kind and leave me alone now, please?"
Can't. You're stuck with me and you know that. We've been over this for eons now. I'm you. I'm simply the voice that speaks out all the the things you've already been thinking deep down in that head of yours.
"If I could I'd roll my eyes now but I think I can't even open my eyes currently."
Oh, I know.
"I've called Raph."
Ah, well. We shall see if your brother even cares enough to show up to save your sorry ass, eh?
"We shall. If not, at least I'll be going graciously and with pride."
Sure. And absolutely not thinking of possibly getting another message to your dear old friend?
"I doubt it would even get through...after all this time."
If you say so...so you're not even going to try?
"If I do, will you at least try to be less annoying?"
No promises.
"Alright...but what do I get if Raphael shows up and they won't? Or if none of them show up? Well, I suppose I know the answer to the second one."
I can tell you what you /won't/ get for sure if you don't at least try to call them.
"Is that so?"
Hope. A home. We both know how much they mean to you and the other way around.
"Do we, though? It must've been so long for them since they've last seen me."
And it has been even longer for you. And still you're thinking about them basically all the time. Don't you think they might too? And that they're just as afraid as you are of seeing you again for similar, if not the same reasons?
And don't try to hide how much you miss them.
"Good point. Alright then..."
And so Lucifer put all his remaining energy into and directed his thoughts entirely to one and that one individual alone, hoping they'd hear him, wherever and whenever they were, before the darkness finally drowned him.
"Doctor..."