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Some loops are not supposed to be broken. A great example of this would be the everyday life. We wake up in the morning and we sleep in the evening, simple as that. There are cycles that do not need to be fixed, they are better off left alone.
That didn't stop Spy from trying, however. The smoke from his cigarette clouded his vision as he watched the star above Teufort. He could relate to them, he thought, the same old routine everyday. However efficient It is, one cannot be blamed for growing tired of It, non? Spy sighed and put his cig out, deciding to head back inside.
Walking through the base, he could not stop his gaze from wandering to the bedroom door of a certain individual. After all, his existence was the cause of the problem. Reminiscing about the past never resulted in anything good. And yet, Spy could never blame him for It. No matter how much he deluded others into the illusion that he hates Scout, he could never fool his own mind.
"Mérde" He whispered below his breath and turned his watch. With the precision of an expierenced hunter (which is exactly what he was), he sneaked inside. Walking forward to the side of the bed, he froze in place. That face, it had the expression of an innocent child sleeping peacfully with no regards for their own safety. After all, children need not care for anything, naive and inexpierenced creatures they are. And wasn't Scout exactly like that? Spy shook his head, leaving those idiotic thoughts behind.
This is a 23 year old man, why was he acting like was seeing a baby. And yet.. He could not help being reminded of back then. When things were easier, when he could love him with no worries, when-
Spy stopped that train of thought, there was no use in reminiscing about the past. Those days, no matter how wonderful, were long gone. What awaits him is no longer the warm arms of his beloved nor the sweet laugh of an innocent baby but the cold leather of a resting chair.
His invisibility has long worn off and yet, Spy could not get his legs to move. Sitting on the side of the bed, he observed his son, his pride and joy. Jeremy seems to have fallen asleep while his hat was still on, Spy reached for It gently and while doing his best not to brush his fingers against his cheek, took it off. Hold on, he has done this before-!
"Pa! Pa!" Pièrre sighed, Jeremy had enough energy to tire out a horde of men. Though, his father would always give into his whims, no matter how tired he was. "What is zit, Mon Fils? Do you want some attention?" Piérre picked his son up into his arms from the crib and layed back down on his bed. The boy's mother would not be back until later in the evening, so he had to make do with what he had.
Apparently it turned out his son did not need entertainment, rather it seems he had wanted to fall asleep in his father's arms. After letting out a few more gurgles, he closed his eyes while smiling and his breathing evened out. His father reached and took his tiny beanie off of his head. It was at that moment that Piérre promised himself something. "No matter what happens to me, rest assured, I will protect you Mon Lapin. My baby, my sweet child. Je t'aime plus que la vie elle-même"
Drops of water covered the sheets. Spy had done his best to avoid Jeremy and all it took was one look of his sleeping face to reduce him into tears. Snot dripped into his balaclava, It felt disgusting. He did not try to wipe it.
He hated himself, how could he not? He has to hurt his son everyday, to keep him at arms length, just to keep this secret from him..! There were many times when he almost told him, when he wanted to be selfish- !
But he could never hurt his darling. His sweet, sweet boy.
Before more tears could fall, Spy wiped them. He gripped the sheets, It was high time for him to leave. It was almost 4 am and in an hour, everyone would wake. Yet he could not bring himself to look away. That peaceful expression should be the only one on his son's face. No pain shall ever befall him, Spy will assure that. His safety and health was the highest priority.
He straightened his legs and got ready to stand up when- oh. oh
His baby, his darling boy had grabbed his hand in his sleep and wasn't willing to let go. Spy closed his eyes in an effort to keep the waterworks at bay. Well, he supposes he might have to stay here a bit longer.
In an hour, they will be Spy and Scout. Tomorrow, everything will go back into normal, the one that everyone knows. The loops will continue. But today, just for today-
They will be Father and Son.