Chapter Text
“There is no death, there is the Force.
All things die, but the Force lives on. As beings who exist as shades of the Force, the end of our existence in this form is not to be overly mourned. We are part of an energy larger than ourselves, and we play roles in a cosmic fabric that outstrip our incarnate understanding.”
— Grand Master Fae Coven, Mediations on the Jedi Code, as found in The Jedi Path, A Manual for Students of the Force.
The solemnity of Jedi funerals was universal. Even in the midst of the brutal conflict between the Jedi and the Sith. Amidst all the chaos, the Jedi remained focused on contemplation during the ceremonies, particularly for those who left this world prematurely, such as Padawans.
For Tim Drake, a young initiate of only eleven years, funerals were an unfamiliar and uncommon occurrence. However, he found himself attending the first service where he knew the deceased well. Jason Todd, a Padawan instructor and a member of his own Hawk-Bat Clan, had passed away.
Jason's connection to the Hawk-Bat Clan ran deep, having once been a member himself during his own time as an initiate. Like all Jedi, when taken to the temple young, they were assigned to a clan. Jason had been a Hawk-Bat before he was chosen as a Padawan. His connection to Tim’s clan is what led him to take up the responsibility of teaching some of their classes.
As Tim and his fellow clanmates gathered to pay their respects, they were accompanied by their crechemaster, Master McIlvaine, who had been Jason's crechemaster as well as the current Hawk-Bats. Master McIlvaine struggled to contain her emotions, but Tim sensed the waves of grief that emanated from her through the Force, despite her efforts to mask them and release them.
At the tender age of five, Tim found himself newly appointed to the Hawk-Bat Clan, feeling apprehensive as he navigated the unfamiliar temple grounds. As he wandered the halls, disoriented and uncertain of his path, he encountered two older initiates, both around ten standard years old.
One, a Devonian, inquired, "What brings you this far out, young one? Are you lost?"
Determined to save face, Tim retorted, "No, I'm not lost!"—though he was, indeed, quite lost.
The initiates chuckled, and the human among them reassured Tim, "It's alright if you are. We can help you find your way. Where are you trying to go?"
"The Hawk-Bat Clan rooms," Tim admitted. "I was just assigned today, and I got lost exploring."
"Hawk-Bat Clan, huh? That's McIlvaine's group, right? She's a real stick in the mud."
"She seemed nice so far," Tim said cautiously.
"Just wait until you get in trouble; then you'll see," the older child warned.
Tim, unsure of how to respond, simply gazed up at the older initiates, asking for help. They exchanged smirks before declining, leaving Tim alone and on the verge of tears. He feared he'd remain lost forever, wandering the temple in perpetuity. Closing his eyes, Tim focused on his breath, trying to get a hold of his emotions, reminding himself he was a Jedi and could overcome this.
Feeling calmer, Tim stepped forward, only to collide with another person. He fell onto his backside before the stranger could catch him. Looking up, he saw a tall human with dark hair and a Padawan braid draped over his shoulder.
"Hey, little one," the older boy said. "You okay? I sensed your distress in the Force. Impressive how you released it—mastering that took me much longer than, what, three years?"
"I'm five!" Tim declared, offended.
"Ah, of course, my mistake. So, what brings you here?"
Embarrassed, Tim admitted, "I got lost. I just joined my clan, and I don't know where they are." He again struggled with his emotions, feeling as if he'd never reunite with his new clan.
The Padawan knelt, comforting him. "Don't worry; I'll get you where you need to go. I'm Jason. What's your name?"
"Tim."
"Alright, Tim. Let's find your clan. I was a Hawk-Bat myself, you know,” Jason revealed, smiling as Tim's eyes widened with excitement. "Well, Master McIlvaine is probably looking for you. Let's find her and your clanmates, okay?”
With Tim's hand in his, Jason guided him through the maze-like corridors until familiar surroundings emerged. Relief washed over Tim, who now led the way with newfound confidence.
Upon reaching a recognizable door, Jason called out, "Master McIlvaine, did you misplace something?"
"Jason Todd? Oh, thank goodness you found young Tim! I'm afraid I lost track of him after lunch today," she said, grateful.
"Tim! We thought you were gone forever!" A small redheaded boy shouted as he ran over, embracing Tim.
"Relax, Bart," a dark-haired boy chided. "I told you he'd be back. It's not like the Sith would abduct him from here.”
"You were worried too, Kon," Bart shot back.
"Yes, yes, that's enough," Master McIlvaine interjected. "You two must ensure Tim doesn't get lost again. Can I count on you?" Both boys solemnly agreed to help their new friend. "Now, Tim, be sure to thank Padawan Todd for his assistance."
Tim nodded and offered a respectful bow to Jason. "Thank you for your help, Padawan Todd."
Jason laughed and affectionately ruffled Tim's hair. "Anytime, Timmy. I'll see you soon."
With a serious nod, Tim followed his friends, leaving the adults to chat as they disappeared down the hallway.
The funeral was on just another Taungsday. Completely ordinary if it wasn’t for the funeral. Part of him wished he could be anywhere else, doing anything else, but he knew that he had to pay his respects and honor Jason's memory.
That first encounter marked the beginning of many interactions between Tim and Jason. In fact, Jason became a favorite among the Hawk-Bat Clan's members. Whether it was Master McIlvaine's influence or Jason's fondness for them, he often spent time with the clan when he was at the temple.
One of Tim's favorite activities with Jason was learning lightsaber katas. Occasionally, Jason would substitute for their teachers, particularly during literature classes, which Tim found dreadfully dull.
During one such lesson on a tedious Alderaanian classic, Tim found himself daydreaming when Jason called him out.
"Hey, Timmy, are you paying attention over there?”
"Um, yeah, of course, Padawan Todd.”
"Alright, then why not share with the class what you think the Chinar tree symbolizes in this part of the novel?"
Literature was far from Tim's strong suit, especially when it came to dry, monotonous classics.
"Um, I don't know."
Jason shook his head, amused. "Tim, Timmy, Timbo. You're so bright in so many ways, but literature just isn't your cup of tea, is it?"
Tim slumped in his chair. "I mean, yeah, kind of. It's just boring and irrelevant to a Jedi, right?"
"Boring? Irrelevant?! That's bantha fodder, Timmy. Literature lets us to explore different perspectives, gain insights into emotions and situations, and develop a deeper understanding of people and cultures. Moreover, it nurtures empathy and critical thinking." Jason paused, narrowing his eyes at Tim, who shrank further into his seat. "I'll be watching you closely, Initiate Drake." His stern expression softened into a smile, and he chuckled. "I'm just kidding, but you do need to pay attention. Being a Padawan isn't all about lightsabers and space battles. You'll often have to read dry, uninteresting reports and materials before, during, and after missions. Your master might want you to better comprehend a culture and assign you readings. So chin up, you best get used to it."
With that, he addressed the entire class. "Now, as I was saying, the Chinar trees appear in this section due to their well-known scent..."
As the pyre continued to burn, Tim sat in quiet contemplation, his thoughts focused on Jason. He tried to recall all that Jason had taught him, reminding himself that Jason was now one with the Force. But as he sat there watching the flames consume the wood, the loud cracks echoing in the stillness, Tim couldn't shake the feeling that something was amiss.
It all felt wrong, fake, and like a lie. Tim was struggling to understand the intensity of his emotions, unsure of what he was truly feeling. Tim knew only that Jason was now a part of the Force, and that the Force would always be with him.
Despite his confusion and grief, Tim stood there, watching the flames dance and flicker, paying his respects to Jason's memory. In that moment, he felt a sense of peace wash over him, a small glimmer of the understanding that perhaps, even though Jason was gone, he would always be a part of the Force and a part of Tim's life.
I am one with the Force, and the Force is with me.
One day, after classes, Tim sought the tranquility of the Room of A Thousand Fountains. While he cherished his clanmates, especially his best friends—Kon, Bart, and Cassie—he sometimes needed a break from their high-spirited antics. Tim had always been more drawn to quiet moments than most kids his age.
He chose a spot near some Chinar trees, which he had grown to love since learning about their symbolism in literature class. The trees exuded a spicy, fiery aroma and would regenerate stronger and larger after periodic forest fires in their native habitat.
In Alderaanian culture, Chinar trees represented perseverance and restoration. As Tim connected with the living Force, he sensed their unwavering progress, their resilience in the face of trials. This was his favorite place for meditation. Assuming a meditative pose, Tim opened himself to the Force, feeling the universe's pulse around him. He managed to silence his thoughts and simply exist, a challenge given his brain’s tendency to flit from topic to topic.
He was about to delve deeper into his meditation when he heard raised voices. Refocusing on the present and his surroundings, he listened in.
"–not listening to me, Bruce!"
"I am, chum. But I disagree."
"It's not fair! I should be able to go with you."
"It's a very dangerous mission, Jay. If you were a few years older, maybe, but not every mission a Jedi Knight undertakes is fit for his Padawan. You know this."
"Yeah, but I thought I was old enough now to join you." Jason sighed.
Master Wayne nodded and placed a hand on Jason's shoulder. "You're everything I want in a Padawan, Jason. This isn't about you; the mission is simply too dangerous. If I could, I'd have you at my side."
Jason nodded, crestfallen. "I know, Master. I just don't like it when I'm not there to watch your back."
Master Wayne smiled. "I know. I don't like it when you're not there either. I suggest you use your free time this afternoon to meditate. It'll do you good."
"Yeah, yeah. I know. You and Alfie are always pushing me to meditate more." Jason paused. "You don't leave until tomorrow, right?" Bruce nodded. "Good. I'll see you for dinner then."
Master Bruce smiled. "I wouldn't miss it."
Tim returned to his meditation, preparing to sink deeper when he felt someone sit beside him.
"Is this spot taken?"
"No, please join me, Jason."
"You knew it was me?" Jason sounded impressed, as Tim hadn't opened his eyes.
Tim cracked one open. "I heard you and your master's...discussion."
Jason laughed. "You'll understand when you get a master. They can be bullheaded and won't admit when you're right."
Tim nodded solemnly. "I'll keep that in mind."
Jason snorted. "Why did you choose to meditate here?"
“I’m drawn here. I think it's because of the trees.”
"The tree?" Jason asked, puzzled as he looked up.
"Do you remember when you taught my clan about that Alderaanian classic and the symbolism of the Chinar trees?" Jason nodded. "Well, these are Chinar trees. I researched them after class and found it easy to meditate beneath them."
Jason smiled at Tim. "You're something else, kid."
Tim smirked. "I had to make sure you weren't full of bantha fodder after calling me out."
Jason laughed. "I'm sure. Meditate with me?"
Tim nodded, smiling as Jason led them into a shared meditation.
The pyre was empty. Temple gossip claimed that Master Wayne had pursued Jason but arrived too late, leaving the young Padawan to meet his end at the hands of the Sith. Tim couldn't help but feel partly responsible for the tragedy, as he had been the last one in the temple to see Jason before he ran off. He wished he could have stopped him.
Tim was definitely not hiding, nor was he avoiding his friends after Stephanie Brown (from the Thranta Clan) had tricked him into helping her prank said friends. He should have known better than to trust a Thranta. He sighed.
This hangar was an unlikely spot for anyone to search for him. It was relatively quiet and secluded, frequented mainly by knights embarking on missions, which mostly took place in the mornings. A few droids were present, working on several ships, while the air carried the scent of ozone and warm electronics. Various cargo pods were scattered throughout the room, and Tim found a spot near a stack of them by the snub fighters.
Caught between meditation and overthinking, Tim was startled when the hangar door opened. He swiftly ducked behind the crates, hoping the newcomer wouldn't spot him. Holding his breath, he was about to peek over the boxes when he heard someone clear their throat behind him.
Tim spun around, startled to see Jason Todd standing there, staring at him and looking surprised.
"What are you doing here, Tim?" Jason asked.
"Definitely not hiding," Tim replied unconvincingly.
Jason snorted. "So you're hiding, huh?" Tim didn't respond. "Can I trust you?"
Without hesitation, Tim looked up and said, "Of course."
Jason smiled. "I need your help. I'm about to embark on an important, secret mission. I wasn't supposed to see anyone here. Will you keep it quiet for me?"
Tim nodded, his eyes widening at the thought of helping a Padawan with their mission. "Of course! Can I do anything else for you?"
Jason smiled, reached over, and ruffled Tim's hair. "Take care of Master Bruce for me, if something happens, okay? He shouldn't be alone."
Tim stared at him. "Nothing's going to happen to you, right?"
Jason attempted to exude confidence but couldn't entirely fool Tim. "Of course not. It's an important mission, and it'll be tough, but I can handle it."
Tim studied him intently before standing up and giving Jason a hug. "Good luck, Jason."
As they broke apart, Jason was smiling at him. "You're a good kid, Timmy. You'll make a great Jedi."
Tim grinned. "And then we can go on missions together!"
Jason laughed and ruffled Tim's hair again. "Sounds like a plan. I'll see you soon."
"May the Force be with you, Jason!" Tim shouted after him.
Jason turned around but continued toward the ships, waving to Tim.
It wasn't until later that Tim learned Jason had snuck out of the temple and that the mission would ultimately lead to his death.
Although Tim didn't know Jason very well, what they had shared over the years had left a lasting impression. The loss weighed heavily on him, and the entire Temple seemed to reverberate with Master Wayne's grief. As Tim struggled to release the pain that remained raw, he couldn't help but feel a sense of guilt for not stopping Jason when he had the chance. He wondered how he could possibly fulfill his promise to Jason to watch over Master Bruce.
But Tim was determined to do so. If there was one thing he knew about himself, it was that he could be incredibly stubborn. Now, all he needed was a plan to honor his commitment and, perhaps, find a way to alleviate some of the guilt that burdened him.