Work Text:
A Hopeful Choice
Chimney was pacing as he waited for the door to open. He had taken the key from Maddie when she wasn't paying attention. He had dropped Jee-Yun off with the Lees, for now. Chimney felt a bubble of panic rise up from his stomach again at the thought of Maddie. He jumped when he heard the door open and turned to face it. He had never just let himself into Buck's apartment before. He just couldn't remain outside, he would have ended up searching for him.
"Chim?" Buck said, freezing in the doorway.
"Buck," Chimney said, shaking his head, "I just..." he trailed off, "You'd think by now I would know when to keep secrets and when not to," he told him instead.
Buck entered his loft and closed the door behind him, "You okay?" he asked, frowning as he walked over.
"Define okay?" he asked him, and then waved a hand, "You know what, forget that," he said, heaving a sigh as he took a step towards Buck. "I need to tell you something. Maddie has asked me to keep it a secret, but... I don't think that's a good idea," he told him.
"Look I-"
"No, I need to tell you this, this is damn important, Buck. I wouldn't have entered your home without knocking otherwise," he told him firmly, "Right, so.. not long after Jee was born, Maddie started to feel... a little down. We didn't think much of it, a woman's hormone level is in flux for a while after birth. It got worse. She was diagnosed with PPD," he told him.
Buck was frozen, just standing there taking in the words that the man was saying, "And when... when did this... when did you know?" he asked.
"Three months ago, she's taking medication, therapy, but... it's not working. We both thought that being around Jee would make it a bit better, show her that she does know how to be a Mom, she raised you," he snorted.
"She did," Buck said, thinking of his early years. She might have left when he was nine, but for those first nine years of his life, she was his mother. "So, why are you telling me now?" he asked, feeling a little upset that he hadn't been told. It was her life, she could tell him or not, but to know that his sister was suffering and he wasn't there to help, hurt.
"Because I know she's not getting better," he admitted, "I feel like a fucking failure, Buck. I can't help the love of my life with what's going on. Jee is missing out on so much because Maddie just can't be around her most of the time. When she is, she feels like she's going to harm her."
"You know the statistics as well as I do about PPD and leaving it untreated," Buck warned him.
"She is being treated, but with it not working, I get what you mean," Chimney winced, looking away. "I didn't know if I should talk to you, to ask you... I've been talking to Maddie's doctor and therapist a lot more. They are worried that something might make her snap. Normally I let her deal with that. I don't ask or anything. This time, I came home yesterday to Jee-Yun crying and Maddie asleep. I don't know how long she had been crying. Her diaper was soaked, she was screaming so loud I'm surprised that Maddie slept through it." Chimney was mostly babbling and blurting things out that he had been keeping notice of. Normally he would have just pushed it aside and carried on. Buck's spiral on PPD a few months ago had surfaced in his mind and it had sunk in that he was doing the wrong thing when it came to Maddie and he needed to step up.
"What do you need, Chim?" he asked, "You know I'm willing to do anything to help."
"I know you are, and I don't want to take advantage. I would ask the Lees, but they are getting on and their days of being parents are long over. They want grandkids to spoil, not kids to raise," he said, not making any sense to Buck. "Albert is young, very young and still hurt as well, the Lees are still looking after him too. Then there is you, you're great with kids, I know you watch Chris a lot as well, what with Eddie dating," he began, "I'm asking if you would look after Jee for a while. I think I need to help Maddie. I want nothing more than to be with Jee all the damn time. But she needs me as well," he told him.
"What, but maybe I can help Maddie, you're Jee's Dad, Chim, she'll need you," Buck countered.
Chimney shook his head, "I know, and I'll still be around to help as much as I can of course. I love her to bits, Buck, but Maddie is going to need more support and while I know you will support her to the ends of the Universe and back, she needs someone living with her, helping to remind her to take meds, therapy, and appointments. She's forgetting things, sleeping a lot, and things like that. Jee isn't going to remember me and her mother not being there at the moment. She will remember her mother not being there later when... when she does something a lot more drastic than just sleeping through her cries."
"I... I'm not really set up to have a child here, Chim," he said looking around his loft.
"I know, but for now, it's good enough, if it takes longer to get things sorted, then we'll find another solution to the living situation, she's not crawling yet. And when she does, it'll be okay to guard a few things to make sure she can't get up the stairs. You have at least a month."
"Well, I have been looking at other places," Buck said, he had been thinking about it when he had begun dating Taylor, wanting a place where he could raise a family. Though he had a feeling that Taylor wouldn't want that, a family.
"Then you have time to do that, look, Buck, I wouldn't ask for something like this if I didn't think it was needed," he said, looking at him and then adding, "I would say you're my only hope, but I doubt you'd get the reference."
"Star Wars?" Buck blinked, causing Chimney to stare at him. "What, do you really think Eddie and I haven’t watched an entire list of films over the last couple of years?" he asked him, shaking his head, "And I get you," he sighed, "I'll do it, but I want to be there with Maddie when you tell her what's going on. I don't want her to feel-" he cut himself off, trying to think of the right word to use.
"Unfit, useless," Chimney said, giving a few more words before adding, "I feel the damn same since I can't help her. All I can do is support her and make sure she gets the help she needs. I know she wanted to keep this quiet, but... I'm learning," he snorted, "Secrets can be toxic and this one... this one is," he added, "I want her to be back to her normal self, but I don't think that will happen," he sighed, rubbing his face before walking over to the couch and sitting down, "Look, Buck, I'm going to ask you to come with me. Tomorrow, we have another day off, and you know that Maddie has quit work. I know she did it thinking that being with Jee more will make her better. It's not, it's isolating her. I almost did the same damn thing in keeping quiet."
"Then we'll do it tomorrow, give yourself time to sort things out, this has got to be hard on you as well, Chim," Buck said, moving closer and reaching out, "Don't just think that Maddie needs therapy, you do as well. Don't tell me that you don't, you might not think it but you're going through something as well, Chim."
"When the hell did you get so damn wise?" Chimney jokes, shaking his head, "Fine, I'll do the same as well," he sighed, seeing the serious look on Buck's face.
"Good," Buck nodded, "Now, go back to Maddie and enjoy a night with her and Jee," he advised.
"Yeah, I will," Chimney said, "Thanks," he added as he got up, "Tomorrow I'll call you, or message you to head over. I'll not start packing things up for Jee just yet, I don't want Maddie to-" he snorted, "I don't know what I want Maddie to think about what's going on. She's not going to be happy that I told you, she's not going to be happy about me asking you to take Jee for a while. She's going to be upset and angry," he said.
"You're doing this to help her, she needs it before something happens that tips her over the edge," Buck agreed as he started to see Chimney out, "look, she's always going to be pissed. She doesn't think much of therapy, and that's our parents talking. You know... you've met them, you know the great big Buckley secret," he rolled his eyes, still unsure what to think about having a brother.
"Thanks, I'll see you tomorrow," Chimney said as he then left Buck's apartment.
Buck closed the door and locked it. Feeling a little shaky as he went over to the couch and collapsed on it. He grabbed his phone and began to look at the research that he had been doing before Maddie had given birth, and the house listing that he had been looking at over the last few months, when he realized that he wanted to settle down, to have a family.
XxXxX
Chimney stood outside the house as he watched Buck get out of his jeep and head over, "Thanks," he said nodding at him as he guided him inside.
"So, does she know anything?" Buck asked.
"She knows that something is going on, but not what yet," he answered, leading the way to the living room. The Pack N Play was out and Jee was happy having some tummy time. The almost four-month-old was happily stretching herself a little.
"Buck!" Maddie said, looking at him, her eyes were wide and she looked pale compared to how he last saw her.
If Buck was honest with himself, he'd only seen her three times after Jee-Yun was born. Never wanting to stop and talk to him, or even just say hi. He hadn't even been able to stop by the house without her shoving him right back out the door, or even refusing to answer it, telling him to go home and that she was busy and had things to do. He knew now that it was her PPD that was trying to keep people out. To stop someone from knowing what was going on behind closed doors. Just as she had done when she was with Doug, with the pretense that everything was fine.
"Hey," he smiled at her.
"Buck, you... you shouldn't be here," she said, getting up and looking slightly panicked.
"I asked him to come," Chimney said, looking at her. He was nervous, he had broken the promise he had given her, by not telling anyone. He had to before something even worse happened. Chimney didn't want Maddie to continue to feel like a failure, she wasn't at all.
"Why? You know... you know what I said," she said, looking at Chimney and then turning to leave the room.
"He knows. I told him, and I know you didn't want me to, but I had to," Chimney called after her, "I'm sorry, Maddie, I am. Some secrets are toxic and this is one of them. Your therapist told you that you need your support system, those that love you. Buck loves you, you're his sister and he wants to be able to help," he added, moving closer to her.
"I can't believe you... you betrayed me like this!" she yelled at him, not caring at that moment in time that it had frightened Jee-Yun, who started to cry on the floor.
"Mads," Buck said, "Didn't we always say it was us against the world?" he asked her, his voice calm as Chimney went to pick up Jee-Yun.
Maddie looked at him, "That... that was against our parents. This is... private."
"And maybe it shouldn't be. Maddie, you have nothing to be ashamed of," he told her, walking closer, though he was going slowly as he could see that his sister was not only upset but a little spooked.
"I-"
"Maddie," Chimney said, "I know it feels like we're... dog-piling you," he began, "But I'm scared something is going to happen. We both know the things that can happen," he said cautiously, "Things aren't working at the moment, we both need to get help and yes I said both of us. Buck told me I should get therapy too, and I will, we'll do it together, to make sure that we'll be the best parents that Jee-Yun could ever have. We've both got parents that we never want to be like. So we need to be better, and I know that trying to be around Jee all the time is making things hard for you. it doesn't help that... that I pushed you to spend more time with her."
"I want to get better, Howie," Maddie said, tears forming in her eyes as she looked at her daughter, "I love her but I... I hate her as well."
"I know, and we'll sort that out," Chimney said, "We will, which is one of the reasons that I asked Buck to come over."
"Why?" she asked, looking at her brother and then back to her partner.
"I've asked if he would be able to take care of Jee-Yun for a little while, a month or two, or even longer. Till a time when the both of us can really be there for her. I know you need support Maddie, and with Jee-Yun we are prioritizing her, and we need to, but it's harming us, which will in the end harm her," he said in a rush, not even sure if he was making any sense.
"What Chimney is saying," Buck said, "Is that I'm going to have Jee living with me for a bit, so the two of you can concentrate on getting better. You know where she'll be, and you'll always be able to come over and see her and spend time with her. You just won't have to worry about her twenty-four-seven like you are now. I know, it feels like you shouldn't do this, that you're making the worst decision. I've been looking online and a few others have done this. Asking a family member to take the child for a few months so they can get better. It helps, you concentrate on yourself, and I'll be there for Jee until you are both well enough to take her back. She's your daughter and that will never change," he told her, hoping that made better sense. "I'll send you some of the blogs from the women that have done the same thing."
"I... thank you," she nodded, looking at the two of them and slowly making her way to the couch again and sitting down. She reached out and took Jee-Yun from Chimney. "Hey," she said, smiling weakly at her daughter. "You're going to stay with your Uncle Buck. He'll take care of you, I'll get better, I will. Then you'll be home with Mommy and Daddy," she told her. Part of her felt relieved that Jee-Yun would be somewhere else, and the other part of her made her feel like the worst sort of mother going, not being with her daughter, or not being the one to take care of her or anything.
"I'll get the paperwork drawn up," Chimney said, "Well, I've got it mostly drawn up," he said, "I just need to get it all signed, sealed, and delivered," he added, looking at Buck and Maddie, "I've already talked to a lawyer about everything. It’s a temporary transfer of custody, so he will be able to do what's needed for her because I think we're both compromised in this case," he added.
Buck remained there and looked through the paperwork before signing. Maddie doing the same. Chimney had started going through the house, gathering the things that Jee-Yun would need. He would look into getting the cot taken down and transferred to Buck's place later on, for the next couple of days as they got used to what was going on, he'd move more things over.
"Am I doing the right thing? Aren't I?" Chimney asked as he glanced over at Buck. Maddie was in the bedroom, crying as she was coming to terms with the fact that she wouldn't have her daughter with her.
"I think you are, you're both on edge, and I could see that yesterday when you were at mine. You were scared, frantic and worried," he said, "This way, you can both get the help you need, don't forget that fathers can suffer from PPD as well," he reminded him.
Chimney snorted, "I don't think I am, but I am going through the pressures of things a little more. I'm going to talk Maddie into trying to go back to work soon as well. I think that might help more," he added, "I know it's nice to get out of the house," he added.
"It is, and I'm going to have to see if I can get someone that will watch Jee while I'm working," he added, thinking about it.
"I've already talked to the Lees and they are available as well. And I was going to suggest that you ask Carla if she would be able to help. I'll be able to pay for her services since she looks after Christopher sometimes. I think that when she does, she might be able to have Jee occasionally, not each time, but every now and then," he said, hurriedly.
"I'll talk with Eddie about that," Buck said, "It'll mainly be up to him if he is fine with Carla having the two of them, instead of just Christopher. Then I'll talk to Carla if he is fine with it. To see if she is."
"Thanks," Chimney said, nodding in agreement, "And if not, well, I still have money to pay for any childcare that's needed."
"You do-"
"He does... we do," Maddie said, as she walked back into the room.
"Mads," Buck said as he looked at her.
"Look, Buck, you're doing something wonderful for myself and Howie, I know we didn't plan for this to happen. We both have money saved aside, and it'll be there if you need it for Jee. I know you won't ask, so I'll just transfer money to you each week for her. Having a baby around isn't cheap," she said, smiling a little more, though her eyes were red.
Buck was silent for a while and then nodded, "fine," he said, knowing it was also a way that they still felt like they were taking care of their daughter, even if she wasn't living with them.
Buck and Chimney, now with Maddie's help packed away some more of Jee-Yun's things, ready for Buck to take with him when he took Jee-Yun. Maddie was tearful as she was saying goodbye to her daughter. Chimney was doing his best to remain strong for her, but Buck could tell he was just as upset. Neither of them wanted this, and neither of them expected to find themselves having to choose to do something like this.
"You're free to come over when you want to see her," Buck told them both, hugging his sister tightly before taking Jee-Yun from Chimney.
"I know, we know," Maddie said, glancing at Chimney as she took hold of his hand and then watched as Buck took Jee-Yun to his jeep and strapped her into her car seat that had been put into his jeep an hour earlier. So many of her things were now in the jeep that he'll be finding a place for them for hours.
Buck glanced at them as he got in and drove away, feeling his heart breaking as he saw his sister burst into tears and cling to Chimney in the rearview mirror.
XxXxX
The first month had been hard. A blackout had caused a few problems two weeks after Buck took over Jee-Yun's care. Being called up and at the station for five days was hard. In the end, the Lees had really stepped up and had taken over her care. Chimney had been trying to talk to Maddie and get her to agree to go and stay with someone. She had been reluctant, still annoyed and a little angry at the steps that Chimney had taken to try and get her to take care of herself, to focus on herself for a moment.
Chimney flopped down on the couch of the 118 loft. There were so many other firefighters around, each of them trying to find a spot in the place while all three shifts were at the station.
"You okay, Chim?" Buck asked as he walked over, a little frown between his eyes.
"Maddie won't go and be with someone. I'm... worried," Chimney said carefully, not wanting people to overhear, "We're only two days in and I can already tell that she's spiraling."
Buck was quiet as he sat beside him, "How about we mention to someone that she's alone. I know a few people that would be happy to check on her," he said softly.
"I would say us or Eddie, but..." he huffed.
"So would I, Ana, and Eddie broken up just before the blackout, and well... Chris is with Isabel, since Pepa is still working, she's alone with him. Carla is busy with another client so she can't help. Maybe... if we pitch it as her helping Isabel and Chris, then she might go for it?" Buck suggested, glancing up at Eddie who was standing behind the couch.
"Abuela would be glad of the adult company," Eddie agreed, "It might be the way to approach it, you're not forcing her to go. She will be of help to them both."
Chimney looked at the two of them and nodded, "Yeah, okay, I'll do that," he said, jumping up and pulling out his phone. Eddie did the same and called Isabel to tell him what they were trying to do.
Chimney returned, smiling a little, "She's agreed to go over," he told them all.
"Good, Abuela is going to be rather happy about that," Eddie smiled at him, "Chris can be a handful at times, he's bored and Abuela can't really keep up with him," he added.
"Jee-Yun is doing well, Maddie is now, not going to be alone," Buck said, "Chris and Isab-"
"Abuela, Buck, she hears you calling her by her name, she might stop teaching you recipes. I know you've been getting the family ones," Eddie reminded him.
"Abuela," Buck corrected, rolling his eyes, "are going to have company," he finished, "Really, Eds," he muttered.
"You're getting family recipes?" Chimney asked, giving Buck a look.
"Yeah, he is, Abuela has been teaching him for the last several months. Since I was shot," Eddie answered for him, going around the couch and sitting down next to Buck. "Abuela insisted on him learning as much as he could from her."
Buck gave an embarrassed shrug, "She just wants to make sure that you and Chris eat well," he tried to deflect.
Chimney shook his head, "Really," he sighed, "One day," he said looking towards the ceiling as though he could see through it and to any deity that might be above, "Someone give them a damn clue," he muttered under his breath. Not being heard as Eddie and Buck were once again in their own world.
The rest of the Blackout went as you would expect, with idiots and more idiots causing trouble. When the lights were back on, Eddie, Buck, and Chimney headed to Isabel's home.
"Hey," Chimney said as he saw Maddie, she looked happier than he had thought she would. He wrapped his arms around her, and held her tightly, "You okay?"
"Yeah, I am," Maddie said, sighing as she relaxed into his arms, "I'm sorry, for not listening. Isabel has been a great help, letting me know that I'm not alone, that she and others are there to help," she murmured. "I'm sorry for being a brat about this. I'll go back, talk with my doctor and therapist and see what is going on. The meds aren't working and I feel like a damn zombie at times. I hate it, I hate feeling so tired like there is nothing good around me. I have you, I have Jee as well, and the thought... the thought of seeing her at the moment, it doesn't fill me with joy, it just fills me with dread," she said, now crying as she clung to him.
"Oh, Maddie," Chimney said, tears in his eyes as he held her, "We have so many people around us willing to help. Buck's going to take care of Jee for us, he's doing awesomely at that," he told her, "Me and you, we have to get ourselves on track, to make sure we're the best parents for our Jee, and we can't do that if we're ignoring everything. So, me and you, we're partners, so we'll work on this together," he promised her.
Maddie moved back, wiping her eyes, and nodded, "Let's go home," she suggested.
"Yeah," Chimney nodded, "I'm just going to say bye," he added, letting her go to the car while he headed to Isabel, "Thank you, Mrs. Diaz, for taking care of her and talking to her," he smiled.
"We are all family, call me Abuela," she told him, patting his cheek, "Now, you take care of her and yourself. I am here if you need to talk more."
"Okay, thank you," Chimney smiled before heading over to his car and getting in. Maddie reached over and took a hand for a moment before they drove away.
XxXxX
Maddie looked at her new medication, she wasn't sure about it but was willing to try anything to get better. She was working on it all now. She finally found a therapist that she had clicked with, their first session had gone well, their second even better. Maddie was talking, really talking about everything that she had bottled up inside ever since she was a little girl and had found out that her brother was ill and he could be taken from them.
"Hey," Chimney said as he walked over, he now had his own therapist, as he had promised, they would work on things together. They would have each other's back. When he mentioned that to Buck and Eddie the two of them shared a look and nodded, telling Chimney that it was the best way to start a relationship.
"Howie," she smiled a little as she took the offered water and took the new medication. "I hate this," she muttered.
"I know, but we want to get well for Jee, we want to have her home," he reminded her of the goal they shared.
Maddie nodded firmly, "Yeah," she said, "I miss her still. It's been seven weeks now and all I want is her home, but then I think about getting her, bringing her home and I'm still scared Howie," she told him honestly.
"I am a little," Chimney told her, taking a hand and pulling her from the bathroom, "Now, we're going to head over and see Jee tonight for a little while, and then we have a date night out. Buck booked us a place, he's got the details and won't give them until he has seen us," he snorted.
"The little brat," Maddie huffed, but smiled, knowing that it was a way for her not to feel pressured about seeing Jee, but that she could at least see her if she wanted. "Where is he? At Eddie's again?" she asked as she finished getting her things together.
"Yep," Chimney said, popping the 'p' as he grabbed a light jacket, "Now, I am sure something is going on between those two."
"They wouldn't keep it a secret from us? Would they?" Maddie frowned.
Chimney paused for a moment, "They might for a while, we were the same, we wanted to figure things out without anyone knowing. So... maybe they are doing the same thing?" he suggested.
Maddie nodded as they left the house, "Yeah, that sounds about right," she laughed lightly, "Let's find out where we are going, and can hug Buck and maybe... if I feel up to it, see Jee," she added.
Chimney nodded as they got into his car and headed toward Eddie's home. Maddie had seen Jee-Yun a few times since she had gone to live with Buck. Her own fears came out and stopped her from seeing her daughter. Through the last two weeks, with this new therapist, things seemed to calm a little for Maddie and she had finally seen her twice, including spending an hour at the park with her and Buck. Maddie was slowly improving and Chimney knew it would take time and he would be there to support her and her choices. Though he had often gone to see Jee-Yun when he could.
XxXxX
Maddie smiled as she sat opposite Sue Blevins, "Really, Sue, thank you. I know I...I stayed away longer than I planned, and going through the training again was a good refresher," she said a little hesitant, she had quit so suddenly, a reaction to her believing that she wasn't bonding with her daughter at all, and needed to be home all the time, to force it to happen.
"I'm happy to have you back," Sue smiled, "Now," she said, "You'll be able to start again in two days, I've rotated you on for half shift for the first two, and then full shift the next. Let you ease back into it, instead of throwing you into the deep end like you were when you first came," she laughed lightly.
"Yeah," Maddie laughed, "That was... a day and a half," she smiled, "Thank you."
"Welcome, you know that," Sue told her, "Now, go and get out there. I know that Josh and May would like to see you, they are on break."
Maddie nodded and got up, "Thanks," she smiled and headed out. Josh and May are waiting outside the office and grabbing her arms and marching her to the break room.
"Right, I'm not going to ask how you are," May began, "Instead, I'm asking, excited about coming back?" she asked, smiling as they reached the break room and sat down. Josh is heading to make them all some coffee.
Maddie laughed, "I am grateful for the change, and I am," she nodded, "How... how did you figure out not asking how I am?"
May was quiet, "When I was fifteen I was being bullied, badly. Enough that she was basically sending me messages telling me I should... kill myself. I tried, but Mom was the one that found me. For weeks, months after that, I was always asked, 'How are you?' 'How are you feeling?' I got so damn tired of it, I wanted to scream. So I can imagine you're feeling the same."
"I am," Maddie nodded, "I didn't know that happened."
"It was a while ago, and I don't really talk about it much. Mom got in a little trouble at work over something she did when it all came out. I got help and put it behind me, but it was hard for me and for my family. I know that Mom checked up on me a lot over the years when I'm sleeping. I woke a few times to her coming into my room, just to check that I was still there. It hurt to know that what I did caused that. Mom... she told me that she just needs that peace of mind that I'm okay sometimes," May said, trying to explain what had happened with her and her family after her attempted suicide.
Maddie gave a trembling smile at her, "You're strong, I was... I was thinking the same a while ago. What if I just let go, what if I let go of everything, faded out, would Jee be better without me there, would Howie."
"They wouldn't," May told her gently. "They would be wondering all the time if they could have done something to help. If they were the cause of it. Harry, he was still very young when I tried to kill myself, he still asks occasionally if the teasing he does hurts me," she said, "He will always worry about that, and I hate that I'm the cause of it," she said, "But no one blames me for those thoughts, for when they get so bad, even occasionally, Mom's there, she's my rock, she helped me so much, she and Dad."
Maddie reached out and hugged her, "I-"
"There's nothing to really say," May told her, hugging her as Josh walked over.
"I didn't know that," Josh said softly as he placed down the three mugs.
"Not like I talk about it much," May told him.
"Does it make sense why you are really good at talking to those in the same position," he added, "I've noticed that, at least."
May smiled sadly, "There are too many things in this world that bring you down, let alone your own mind doing it. I know that. I understand it, therapy helped with that a lot. I moved away to a new school to get away from a bully that was pushing me toward suicide. I can never take that back and the damage it's done, not only to me but also to my family."
Maddie nodded, "Thank you for telling me," she said, "It... kind of gives me hope that I'll be better, that soon enough I won't just be seeing Jee once a week but will be able to have her home. Even if the thoughts in my head keep trying to tell me she'd be better off without me in her life."
"You ever feel really bad, you call one of us," May told her, "I don't care if it's 3 am and I've just gotten in from work, you call," she said, "We’re on the same shift as well, so, I'll be around for a break room chat too," she smiled, reaching for her coffee and taking a sip.
"I will," she said, as she saw Josh nod his head in agreement with May's words. "Now, anything new on the floor?" she asked, wanting to hear the latest gossip, she had missed this, and seeing everyone.
XxXxX
Maddie laughed brightly as she twirled around in Eddie's backyard. Jee-Yun was squealing and laughing in her arms. She had stopped over after work. It had been a hard day, but worth it when she arrived at Eddie's and was welcomed by Buck and Eddie into the home so she could spend a little time with her daughter. She was taking her out occasionally, sometimes alone, but most of the time she would be with Chimney.
"How is she doing?" Buck asked Chimney as they stood on the back porch and watched her play with her daughter.
"She's doing a lot better. Therapy for the both of us has really helped, we're communicating a lot better now as well. She still isn't happy with how I handled things but is also happy that I refused to keep it a secret. Realizing that it was a mistake to do so," Chimney answered him quietly, a soft smile on his face as he watched his girlfriend and their daughter play in the garden.
"I'm glad you did," Buck nodded, "I... I dread to think what could have happened if you didn't."
Chimney was quiet, he knew what could happen. They had finally had a joint session so that Maddie could tell him a few things that she had been worrying about. "Yeah," he said, shuddering a little.
"Is Daddy going to come to play at all?" Maddie said as she turned to the two of them, "We need some quality time," she added.
Chimney nodded and smiled, "Yeah, okay, Daddy’s on the way," he laughed lightly as he went over. "Hey, Jee," he murmured, kissing a cheek on his daughter first and then Maddie's. "So what are we playing?" he asked.
Maddie laughed and the three of them settled on the grass to play. Christopher joined them when he returned home an hour later, after seeing Isabel, and Eddie bringing in dinner for them all.
XxXxX
Maddie took a breath as the door closed. Jee-Yun was in her arms, and Chimney was going to be out of the house for a couple of hours before returning home. This would be the first time in five months that she had Jee-Yun at home. She would be staying overnight as well, a slow build-up to get her back. The one thing that Maddie and Chimney were looking forward to doing. Jee-Yun was ten months old, and she was getting bigger and Maddie felt like she was missing so much.
"Hey," Maddie said as she walked into the living room, the pack-n-play already set up by Buck before he left. "So," she said, settling Jee-Yun down, "What shall we do while we wait for Daddy to come home?" she asked, knowing she wouldn't get an answer at all.
Maddie's treatment was going well, she was starting to finally feel like she could enjoy being a mother, she was slowly building up the bond with Jee-Yun again and enjoying the little moments that she could spend with her. Being alone, at that moment, didn't feel like it was something bad, but something good, and that is what she had been hoping for with this first night. They had put down a schedule, a tentative one, for getting Jee-Yun to sleep at the Buckley-Han house and slowly easing her back into being with her parents.
"Mama!" Jee-Yun yelled as she sat there, waving her hands.
Maddie looked at her, "Jee?" she blinked, "Did you say... mama?" she asked.
Jee-Yun was giggling as she yelled again, "Mama!" leaning towards her mother.
Maddie burst into tears, but they were the good ones, "Oh, my baby girl," she murmured, picking her up and wrapping her in her arms. "I love you so much," she murmured, "But we're going to have to record that for Dada, you know," she told her.
"Mamamama!" she giggled as she sat back down.
Maddie got out her phone and began to record, "Who am I Jee?" she asked, her voice light and happy.
"Mama!" Jee-Yun answered, reaching out to her, "Gggggggrrrrr, Mama!" she demanded reaching out again.
Maddie stopped recording and reached for her daughter. A few hours later, Chimney returned, to greet the two amazing ladies in his life with a daughter reaching out for him and a girlfriend that was smiling widely as Jee-Yun said, "Dada!" for the first time.
"Oh, who's my clever little girl!" Chimney grinned, reaching out to her and holding her, smothering her in kisses, much to her delight.
"I recorded her saying Mama," Maddie grinned, as she joined the hug, Chimney wrapping an arm around her.
"That's amazing," he laughed, "That's so amazing," he said, shaking his head, "Come on and you can show me the video and we'll order dinner in."
Maddie nodded as Chimney handed Jee-Yun over and he ordered dinner, while Maddie then showed him the video. Before sending it out to Buck. The first night with Jee-Yun home was a great success in the eyes of her parents and of Jee-Yun.
XxXxX
Chimney slammed down the lid of the boot and smiled as he looked at Maddie holding Jee-Yun. It had been a long six months of ups and downs as the two of them fought not other their mental health problems, but each other at times when Maddie hated him for telling Buck about their problems. For letting Jee-Yun leave them and stay with Buck as they concentrated on trying to get better, to be better for Jee-Yun.
"Well, that's the last of it," he said as he looked over at Buck.
"Yep," he nodded, they were standing outside of Eddie's home.
"Can I ask," Chimney began as they walked towards the front porch again, "Why was everything here? I thought it would all still be at the loft."
Buck went red and then looked at Eddie helplessly. "I thought you knew," he said.
"Bucky moved in," Christopher added helpfully, "He and Dad are finally dating," he finished, grinning as Jee-Yu squealed in happiness as he played with her.
Chimney and Maddie looked at each other, "We didn't know," Maddie said.
"I thought I told them, they could have easily guessed since I moved everything here," Buck frowned as he looked to Eddie for help.
"I told you it would have been better to sit them down and tell them," Eddie rolled his eyes, "But no, you said that they surely would have known by now since each time they came to see Jee-Yun after that first month you were with us," he sighed.
"I can't believe I missed that," Maddie said, frowning.
"You didn't miss much, Aunt Maddie," Christopher consoled her, "All they do is kiss, it's annoying. They do it all the time. When they make breakfast, watch movies, sometimes I'm even squished between them. I get no peace," he huffed.
Maddie laughed and looked at Buck and Eddie. Buck was a little red, and Eddie, well Eddie had no shame in showing how much he loved Buck. "Well," Maddie said, "Maybe you can come and stay with Aunt Maddie and Uncle Chim when they get really bad," she suggested, grinning as Buck stuck his tongue out at her.
"I will, and then when Jee gets annoyed with her parents being overly gross, I should have moved out by that point," Christopher said, as Eddie let out a pained whine at that. "No matter what Dad says," he added, giving him a smirk.
"I hate you, kid," Eddie pointed at him, "You would really leave your old man?"
"Yeah," Christopher rolled his eyes, "I have to grow up sometime, Dad," he added as he headed over to them, "But you still have a few more years for that," he said, hugging him.
"Good," Eddie said, holding him tightly, "Some days I don't ever want you to grow up, but you are becoming a little man and it scares me."
"Growing up is scary, but we all do it," he said wisely.
Maddie smiled, "Well, Buck, Eddie, you can come over for dinner when we're all settled again, and you can tell me how everything happened," she told the two.
"It's a double date," Chimney grinned, "We'll see if we can have someone watch the kids, I want the details on how this went down," he added.
"Sounds like a plan," Buck nodded, taking Eddie's hand.
"Thank you," Chimney said, "For doing all this, for looking after her, I think this was for the best, for us," he added, as Maddie joined him, the two smiled at each other, their relationship was a lot stronger than it had been when this had all started. Therapy, talking to each other and just being each other's guiding star had done that.
"Welcome, what are brothers for," Buck smiled.
"Thanks!" Maddie said as she settled Jee-Yun in the car seat and the two adults finally took their daughter to him fully.