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.1983
El could still feel it.
She could still feel it, she could still feel the boy in the stick fort, the one that seemed so sweet. So sweet and so underserving of all that was going on.
So what was she seeing now?
There, in the blackened water, came out the body of Will Byers. The sirens were silence to her ears, and she just couldn't believe it. She wouldn't believe it, actually. Because she could still feel Will out there.
And she was about to turn around to say that. "Mike..."
"'Mike'? 'Mike', what?" Mike's words were searing, threatening to bubble over. "You were supposed to find him alive. You said he was alive! You lied to us! Why would you do that?" His voice cracked and his eyes were already glazed over. "What's wrong with you?!"
El was crying for him.
"What is wrong with you?"
She needed to tell him. She needed to tell him, now. "Mike..." She said it softer, or what she thought was softer, reaching out to touch his arm.
He flinched away, almost violently. "What?!"
Lucas's eyes were filled with tears but yet he still stepped forward. "Mike, don't do this, man."
Mike grabbed his bike, kicking off the kickstand.
"Mike!" El said, just a little louder.
He took one last glance at her, the pain and the hurt and the sorrow swimming in his eyes— and the utter, unconditional love he had for the boy in the stick fort.
El didn't see it, but she could imagine it.
Huddled in on herself, shivering in the cold of late November, she could picture it.
She could picture the moment Mike saw Will again, in the hospital. She knew that he wouldn't fall asleep, he would stay awake until he could see Will: and she could see him giving him the tightest hug in the world, so tight that Will almost evaporates a second time.
And she can imagine him staying at Will's side, until the end of time.
.1984
El so wanted to meet Will.
Yeah, she knew what he looked like from the photos, but she wanted to know him. She wanted to know what was in this boy that made Mike care so much about him, how this boy had Mike wrapped around his finger.
She imagined that Will was kind. Very kind, the sort of kind that made him help anyone in need, no matter who.
And someone who didn't deserve all those bad words that Troy would say about him. Or that week in the upside down.
El wished that she could watch Mike talk to Will. She wished that she could see what was there, because she knew that however Mike felt about Will, it was strong. Too strong for her to fathom, and she must say, she wasn't jealous.
She even liked to think about how close they were.
Because Will was different.
Will was Mike's everything.
Deep down, she knew that, and she knew that she could never change that fact.
The boy in the stick fort was just as she had imagined him.
Sweet, shy and kind. He looked at her like she had just given him a compliment, always happy about her being there for Mike.
That made her want to hug him so tight he suffocated.
He didn't talk to her much, but she still loved him the way a sister would, from the moment he saw her.
Because he loved Mike so much that he would sacrifice everything to make him happy.
That made El want to cry.
.1985
El wished she was allowed to go places with her friends. She was really happy now that she could actually see them, but it frustrated her that she couldn't do the things that they did.
She didn't like how Mike was lying to her.
It made her think that something was going on.
She appreciated Max. She appreciated the way Max couldn't care less about what rules were implemented by Hopper. Max also hated Mike, which always made El laugh about how she had been so jealous of the redhead in '84.
El loved dressing up like how she wanted to. She loved going and getting ice cream. She loved spinning that Coca-Cola bottle with Max. She loved being with Max. She loved Max.
She didn't know it yet, though.
And it hurt her heart when she saw how Mike and Will acted around each other.
Like they were almost... strangers.
But they weren't really acting like strangers, because no one else noticed, but El did. Because El knew every inch of how Mike acted around Will, and he was acting differently. Way too differently, actually, and El didn't like it one bit.
That was when El knew.
Look, she had always known that Mike loved her. He always had, he always would.
And she loved him.
But she knew it wasn't the same.
That day, the day she left for California, with the teddy bear hugged to her chest and Mike's lips on hers, she knew.
She could tell by the way he tensed up when her lips met his, the way his lips didn't move, like he was some statue.
Maybe she didn't really realise it, but it was deep within in her when she said that she loved him back, that maybe that was the beginning of the end.
.1986
He only ever told her he loved her once, and that was when he didn't even think she was in the room, back in 1985.
So why won't he say it now?
She loved his letters and his phone calls, all the sweet things he would say about her and all the things that he would tell her, but she usually spent her days in California worried or scared. Partly because of Angela and her friends, but partly because of Mike's lack of love for her.
It worried her.
So, she would always make sure to talk about Will in her letters. She thought that that would solve something, since Will was Mike's everything, so maybe Mike would pay more attention if she talked about him.
Sometimes it felt so stupid that she would cry herself to sleep.
"What did you do? What did you do?"
Why was it only a horrible thing when she stood up for herself? Why was it not horrible at all when she stood up for him?
El didn't want to be put in 'juvie', as Argyle called it, but she'd rather be away for a while. Away from Mike and all his passive agressiveness, the way he looked at her like she was the monster.
Because she could see it in his eyes.
He looked at her like she had ruined everything he had ever tried for, everything he had ever wished for.
Had she?
"And, I love you!"
Those words were on repeat for that whole drive, that whole sickening drive in the van that felt like sheens of sweat and smelt like something had just died. El felt sick, she felt like she was going to split apart and die.
Those words didn't work.
Because they weren't true.
El had it running through her head— how did Will feel when he heard those words? Did he believe them? Was he struck by another stab of heartbreak, of heartbreak because he would never have Mike, and he would live with it? He would do anything to make Mike happy?
El wished she could hug him.
He would do anything for Mike to be happy.
He would live through heartbreak & jealousy for Mike to be happy. He would die if it made Mike happy, he would disappear forever to make Mike happy.
And she couldn't even deal with Mike not loving her the way she did.
It was all piling on top of her; what had happened to Max? Was she dead? Was she alive? Was she blind, hurt, paralysed? Where was she? How was Lucas?
But sometimes, in all her silence in that van ride straight to Hawkins, she would look over at Mike and Will, and her heart would crack just a little more.
And that was when she realised, really realised, that that was the end. That when she caught a glimpse of Mike smiling at Will, with that look that he never gave her, that that was the end of Mike and El.
Sitting in that van, she realised that it's been the end for a while.
It had been a while since they defeated Vecna.
A while since El realised that Mike and El was gone, gone forever. Maybe it never was in the first place. Maybe it was always Mike and Will, no room for replacements.
Yet she still hadn't done anything about it.
She could see every time that Mike's eyes flickered down to Will's lips. Every time he would look at Will, his eyes practically melting in love, before quickly snapping out of it with one quick glance at El.
The whole party could see it, though. Even Max, who couldn't see at all.
They didn't say anything, either. Because they had always really known that it was Mike and Will. Anyone who had seen how Mike stayed with Will, how he loved Will to no limits, how he never yelled at him until that summer.
El guesses that she just came in at the wrong time. The wrong time to notice the signs, went away when the signs came back, and came back when the signs went away.
But now, finally, she saw the signs. Although it took years.
El had made up her mind. She didn't... blame Mike for dating her instead. For pretending. She had seen the way that people treated Will, just for the suspicions, and although she didn't get it— why did it matter? She liked girls and boys, why couldn't anyone like anyone— she knew that it made sense to a lot of mouthbreathers.
And she knew that she couldn't deal with this forever. How long could this go on without her doing anything about it? Would Mike just live in agony forever, loving someone else but not being able to do anything about it? Would she be stuck in a one-sided relationship forever?
She invited Mike over, like always. Sometimes, usually, he would turn it down. Use an excuse. She's glad that he didn't this time around.
She sat him down on her bed, closed the door and wedged it shut (the three-inches rule could go fuck itself this time around, because this time it was important), and looked him dead in the eyes.
She knew how to look scarily serious, and she was doing it right now.
Mike swallowed, avoiding her unwavering gaze. "El, what's going on—"
"Do you remember that one time I dumped you?" She softened her glare only slightly, her mouth still in a hard line.
He looked down at his hands, all of a sudden extremely interested in his short-cut nails. "Yeah. Summer of '85, at Starcourt."
"M-hm. And you thought that Max was conspiring against you."
He laughed slightly. "She was."
"Maybe." El took his face in her hands, directing him to face her. "What you didn't know is afterwards, while I was hanging out with Max, I did think that you were treating me like garbage. But I still missed you."
His eyebrows furrowed for just a moment.
"And I did love you Mike. And I still do."
He blinked, as if holding back tears.
El knew that he knew. That he knew that she knew.
"Okay, Mike? And I know that you love me too. But not like I do."
One sniffle and Mike was crying. He was crying, crying like she'd never seen him cry before, the way Mike could only cry for the boy in the stick fort.
"And that's okay."
He fell into her chest and she wrapped her arms around him, tight because they were friends now (maybe they had always been), and good friends are always there for each other. Even if one of them messes up.
He didn't cry for long, eventually pulling away from her almost violently, furiously wiping at his tears. "God, this is embarrassing."
She smiled, taking his hand and squeezing it. "You're allowed to have emotions, Mike."
He sniffled, bringing his knees up to his chest. He rested his head on one, looking over at her with the rawest emotion that she'd ever seen on his face. "So, is this the end?" His voice was paper thin, pale and cracking.
Her smile did not waver. "The end of our... relationship. I'm dumping your ass again, Mike Wheeler, for real this time—" he let out a wet laugh at that— "but because now we're friends, and we'll stay friends."
He smiled at her, a genuine smile.
"I'll even help you get with Will."
His mouth dropped in mock offense, elbowing her softly. "Hey!"
"What, everyone can see it."
He rolled his eyes, but there was a smile dancing on his lips. "Shut up."
.1987
El would need four hands to count the amount of times that Mike came to her in a panic, not knowing what to do about Will. She gave him the exact same advice each time: "Just tell him. I promise you, he likes you back."
The one she remembers the most is the day that Mike realised that he was in love with Will.
She knew that at that moment, he couldn't resist anything anymore. That he couldn't keep it all bunched up inside, that he couldn't pretend forever.
That when someone's in love, nothing can stop them.
She gave him the same piece of advice that time around, but he actually did something about it. Because Will came back inside after Mike left and went straight to her room, in the same panic that Mike was in just ten minutes before.
And she absolutely loved being there when Mike and the boy in the stick fort finally got together.
Because everyone knew, Mike and Will was always meant to be.
Before they even told anyone, El thinks that the rest of the party saw.
Saw the way Will would hide his face in the crook of Mike's neck when he was laughing. How their hands would touch, pinkies intertwined, when they thought that no one was looking. How El would smile with almost triumph whenever they were close to each other.
And when they actually told the whole party, the whole party, she doesn't think that it was a shock to anyone. They already had it figured out that she knew, anyway.
They went on like that, and El loved it. Because it had always been fate, it always had been meant to be— and El loved watching them act like an actual couple, because they were one. She was almost proud, like a mother, whenever Will kissed Mike quickly when everyone was distracted, or when their hands stayed locked together for a whole night hanging out with the party.
They were two perfect puzzle pieces, snapped together after years of not being able to find the right piece.
.1989
Joyce and Hopper had their wedding in the summer of '89, before anyone could leave for college.
It was a family-only wedding, but more of just a wedding with only the party in there, because that's been everyone's real family for way longer than blood.
She remembers a lot from that wedding— smiling across the altar at Will, because he was Joyce's 'bridesmaid' (it was a big joke that Mike would put him in a dress for the wedding), and she was Hop's bridesmaid.
She also remembers seeing Mike and Will, completely in a place that was safe, dancing together like no one was watching.
.1991
"Did you know that me and Will got married in kindergarten?" Mike had on the smile that he only did when he was tipsy, Will giggling into the crook of his neck.
Max snorted. "Of course you did."
Lucas laughed, his head in his hands. "Jesus."
Mike sat up a little straighter.
Dustin rolled his eyes. "I knew that this would lead somewhere else."
"Shut up." Mike cleared his throat as Will sat back up, his shoulder still touching Mike's. "This means that technically we never got divorced. Meaning, that we're married."
El laughed hard at that.
Will laughed along with her, looking at Mike with a mixture of amusement and love. "Mike, that's—" he laughed again— "that's not even legal."
"But, Will." He leaned far forward, so that their noses were almost touching. "Screw the law." He took in a breath. "Y'know what I did at the ripe age of 13?"
Will didn't look like he was listening anymore— his eyes were faraway, staring at Mike's lips like they were the only things that mattered at this exact moment. "What?"
"Used a gun. That's right. So, screw the law."
Will laughed, only slightly, his cheeks dusted with pink and his eyes faraway.
"Guys," Lucas announced.
"What?" The whole party, except Will, who had just broken out of his trance, looked over at Lucas.
He shook his head like he was disappointed in someone. "I don't think Will's a virgin."
Will's jaw dropped. Mike laughed, his face and Will's going beet red.
"Lucas!" Will said, apalled.
Lucas shrugged. "I think I'm right."
Conversations branched off at that point, but El likes to think that that night, tipsy in Mike's basement, was the day that Will and Mike got married. Not officially, but it was more of a feeling. It was at that moment that the party knew that they would stay together forever.
.2004
She can still remember the complete ecstasy when Massachusetts legalised same-sex marriage.
She can still remember, clear as day in her mind, the look on Will's face. Because that's the absolute happiest she'd ever seen him.
Will and Mike, at the age of thirty-three, up and moved from their apartment in Indianapolis to Massachusetts, and most of the party came with them. And that same year, 2004, they got married.
El and the rest of the party had been waiting for this.
This wedding, it was like more of a party than anything. They knew that Mike and Will were already married, already had been for a while, for God's sake they already had rings, just got another pair when it was legal.
And El was proud.
Because Mike and the boy in the stick fort got their happy ending— it almost seemed impossible.