Chapter Text
“There’s someone I want you to meet.” Michelle’s voice is soft over the phone, but Ted feels it like a punch to the gut.
He pulls in a breath, clenches his fists. He knows what this means. He doesn’t blame Michelle for moving on. She deserves to be happy. But does it have to be right now? When he already feels so unsteady? Does the ground have to shift under him again?
“Great.” He says, trying for enthusiasm, glad she can’t see his face. “Can’t wait.”
Michelle knows him, though, better than almost anyone, even now. “No, Ted, not like that.” She’s reassuring. “It’s… it’s someone for you.”
“Oh.” His fist clenches again. He begins to mentally calculate the time difference, wonders if it’s too late to call Sharon. He knows he could click on his world clock and see the time in London easily, but he needs something to concentrate on. “Michelle, I -” he doesn’t know what to say.
“Ted. It’s not like that either.” He thinks of the end of their marriage and how their communication had fallen apart. Feels like it’s happening all over again, her deliberately not saying things. He wants to be angry or frustrated, but as he’s been feeling more and more lately, he’s just tired. “It’s ok. Trust me?”
“Of course,” he answers almost before she finishes speaking. No matter what, he still trusts her.
“Good. Henry and I will pick you up tomorrow morning.”
He brightens at the mention of Henry, who he still misses so much, even though he’s only a few streets over, instead of 4,438 miles away.
“Alright. I’ll see y’all then.”
“Good night, Ted. Try to sleep some, please.”
“I will.” He says, even though he doesn’t foresee it actually happening. “Good night.” He hangs up before he can say the ‘I love you’ that still gets caught in his throat whenever he talks to Michelle. He isn’t in love with his ex-wife any more, but he will always love her. However, he’s pretty sure that she doesn’t want to hear that, so he swallows the words back down.
He stares at his phone screen, watches as the call with Michelle ends, his home screen back up. He opens WhatsApp and looks at the conversations. His thumb hovers over Rebecca’s name for just a second before he shakes his head and puts the phone down on his nightstand.
It’s too late to text her now. And even if it wasn’t, he truly doesn’t know what to say to her. Since his panic attack during the quarter finals, things have been different between them. Not necessarily strained, but certainly not as easy as they had been. She’s been preoccupied and he hasn’t wanted to burden her with anything that’s been going on with him.
He knew she was worried about him after the panic attack, but he hadn’t been in the headspace to talk to her that night and the next morning she had accepted her box of biscuits with a smile and hadn’t mentioned the night before at all. He’d wanted to say something but hadn’t known how to bring it up, still feeling raw and uncomfortable. And so they’d gone on, the rest of the season, still talking, but with so much left unsaid between them.
And now he’s 4,438 miles away from her and the last message he sent to her - a picture of him and Henry hugging at the airport with a line of text telling her he’d made it back to Kansas safely - has been read but not replied to.
He tosses and turns until the light breaks through the windows. Then he gets up and heads for a shower, hoping to wake himself up enough to get through whatever it is Michelle and Henry have planned for him today.
**
Henry is practically vibrating in the back seat, his signed Jamie Tartt jersey still big on his small frame, and Michelle has a small, pleased smile on her face as she navigates the car. He hasn’t seen her look this relaxed in a long time. It makes his heart ache in a way that is somehow simultaneously love and pain.
He doesn’t pay much attention to where they’re going, fiddling with his phone. He’s gotten various messages from Beard, as well as replies from most of the boys in the team chat, Roy in the coaches chat, and individual replies from Keeley and Higgins to his safe arrival texts. Rebecca’s message thread sits toward the bottom of the list, above only the Diamond Dogs chat that has been unneeded so far and the AFC Richmond chat that is almost never used, his text still unanswered.
The car turns down a gravel lane and Ted looks up to see that they’re approaching what appears to be a farm. It isn’t unusual really, but he still has no idea what’s going on.
Henry is officially bouncing in his seat, his fingers poised over the seat belt buckle. “Excited, bud?” Ted says, a grin sliding over his face at the excitement on Henry’s.
“Just wait, Dad! You’re gonna love her!”
And then the car is parked and Henry is unbuckled and out of the car faster than Ted has ever seen him move - and he’d been the one who chased a naked toddler Henry, running through the house away from bath time every night for two months.
Michelle turns off the engine and unbuckles her own seat belt, turning to face him.
“Her, huh?” He manages, unsure what else to say.
“Ted.” Michelle’s hands settle over one of his clenched fists and he can’t help but notice how different they feel to Rebecca’s. He tries to push that feeling down. “I told you it’s ok and it is, I promise. But I need you to promise me something. I know that things have been hard lately.”
He winces and fights the urge to pull away. They’ve spoken a bit about what’s going on with him - the panic attacks, the sessions with Sharon - but only in vague terms. One of his homework assignments from Sharon for this trip is to actually talk to Michelle about everything he’s going through. He just hasn’t done it yet.
Michelle keeps hold of his hand, squeezes it. “And I know that you would do anything to make Henry and I happy. But I don’t want you to do anything today that you don’t want to. Ok? If this isn’t something you feel up for, please just tell me that. Henry will understand.”
“Michelle, I don’t even understand what’s happenin’ here.”
“Then let’s go find out.” She turns and climbs out of the car and he follows her, watching as Henry comes back toward the car, walking and talking excitedly with a woman. His chest aches and his hands clench as he takes her in.
She’s got long dark hair that falls in gentle waves and dark eyes that, even from this distance, look kind. She appears to be in her thirties, younger but not too terribly young, and Ted knows he should be feeling something right now, but he just feels numb.
“Coach Lasso, it’s an honor to finally meet you. I’ve heard so much about you from Michelle and Henry. And of course I’m a big WSU fan.” She’s wearing a Shockers t-shirt.
He does his best to rustle up a smile. “Well, hi there.”
“Samantha.” She supplies the name, her hand held out and he shakes it. “Or Sam, really. Most people call me Sam.”
The name makes him actually smile. “Hey now, wouldn’t ya know, I coach a player named Sam. Great fella. If the name holds true, that makes you a great gal.”
She smiles and she really is pretty but Ted feels out of his depth, as if he was back in the press room, facing down reporters on his first day at Richmond. He tries not to think about that, but his throat feels dry and he wishes for water… even the bubbly kind at this point, just so something could break through.
Henry is the one who does break through, one of the only ones who can consistently break through. “C’mon!” He says, tugging at Sam’s t-shirt and Ted’s hand at the same time.
Sam laughs. “Henry is very excited. He’s been waiting for this moment for a while.”
“For forever!” He says, already heading back behind the building he’d come from.
“A few months.” She laughs, following him, and Ted falls into step, Michelle taking up the end.
A few months. So many things have happened in a few months. But he’s spoken to Henry nearly every day in that time - Michelle often enough too - and whatever this is, they haven’t said a word.
Henry, who is literally shaking with excitement, hasn’t said a word. What is happening?
And then they’re rounding the building and rather like Alice in Wonderland, things are being revealed but they’re not making any real sense. Curiouser and curiouser.
Because Henry is inside a fenced in area of yard, sitting on the ground, petting a dog.
“Dad! Look!” He points excitedly between the real dog beside him and the one on the logo on his jersey. “A real greyhound!”
Ted nods, but his eyes are stuck on the dog, Henry just outside his line of vision. “Wow.”
He feels a hand on his shoulder, squeezing softly. Michelle.
“Wow,” he says louder, clearing his throat, and smiling down at Henry. “You gettin’ a dog?”
He chances a glance back at Michelle, things still not really making sense.
Henry laughs. “No, Dad! You are!”
Ted feels like he did drink the bubbly water then, an exhale of air rushing from his lungs at that pronouncement.
“Henry.” Michelle doesn’t yell or scold, but there’s a definite sharpness to the way she says his name.
“Henry.” Sam says his name at nearly the same time, but in a softer tone. “Why don’t you come with me to check on some of the others, huh? Give your dad a chance to check out Lilli on his own.”
Henry opens his mouth like he might protest, but then closes it and smiles again. “Ok! See ya soon, Lilli.” He pats her head and then moves through the small gate with an ease that means it isn’t the first time he’s been here.
“We’ll be back in a little,” Sam offers, kind and quiet to Michelle, who squeezes his shoulder again and nods at her.
Ted watches them walk off, his mind still spinning, but no words coming out. ‘Rebecca wouldn’t believe it. Me, speechless.’ He thinks, then shakes the thought away.
“Ted.” Michelle’s voice is quiet. “Remember, you don’t have to -”
He moves forward then, through the gate to the area where Lilli stands, just looking at him. He thinks of Hank and all the fear and love that had been wrapped up in that one creature. He thinks of the other dogs he’s been around since then. The fear gone but an uneasiness left behind.
Lilli comes over to him, giving his hand a sniff. He finds that he doesn’t feel any uneasiness with her. “Hi there, Lilli. Pleased to make your acquaintance.”
He gently brushes his hand over the top of her head, feeling the softness of her coat. He smiles when she doesn’t move away, but seems content to stand with him.
“It was Henry’s idea. We saw a clip of you talking about Hank after everything happened with Earl and… he got it in his head that you needed a dog. So I did some research and found out about Sam’s rescue here. We came to check it out, got to know her and see the dogs. When Henry found out that she rescues greyhounds I thought he would just burst from excitement.”
After everything that happened with Earl. That seemed like an actual lifetime ago now.
“We checked out a lot of dogs - all the dogs Sam had at the time and all the dogs she’s gotten since - but none of them seemed quite right to Henry. Not until Sam got Lilli here about two weeks ago. The minute he met her, Henry was sure she was the dog for you.” Michelle moves so she’s in his line of sight now. “Ted, if this is too much, I need you to know it’s ok. It’s ok to say that. Henry will be ok.”
“I tell myself that a lot.” Ted says, looking down. “Still not sure I believe it.”
Anything else that may have been said is stopped by the return of Sam and Henry.
“Isn’t she the best, Dad? Don’t you love her?” Henry grins excitedly from the other side of the fence, pleased as punch to see his dad petting Lilli.
“She’s a beautiful dog.” Ted replies, and that’s the truth. She’s a fawn, beautifully golden fur with white on her chest and big brown eyes.
Sam looks from Ted and Lilli to Michelle to Henry and back again before she gives a small head tilt at Michelle. Michelle understands what she’s saying without her saying anything.
“C’mon, Henry. Let’s go check on Hunter. See how he’s doing today.”
Again Henry looks ready to argue but then changes his mind at the last minute, giving a small smile. “You really like Hunter, huh, Mom?”
Michelle laughs as she leaves the yard, Sam entering it at the same time. “No, Henry, we are not adopting a dog.”
The rest of their conversation is lost to the distance, but Ted can still pick up the sound of Henry’s laughter.
Sam leans against the fence, just looking over with a smile. “So, you obviously know her name is Lilli. She’s just over a year old. She was raised to be a racing dog, but she was a fighter, so she got retired and sent to me pretty quickly.”
Ted’s eyebrows go up. “A fighter? This sweet girl?” He looks at the dog whose tongue is lolling out of her mouth as her tail wags while he rubs her.
Sam laughs. “Well, that’s what they call it, but really it means that she just wanted to play with the other dogs instead of actually racing them.”
Ted kneels down then, so he’s at Lilli’s height. “Ah, now that makes more sense, don’t it? Why wouldn’t ya want to play instead of being forced to race? I’d sure pick playin’ any day of the week.”
Lilli seems taken by Ted’s voice, or at least his mustache as she moves forward to sniff at it, bopping her nose against it. Ted laughs at that.
“Greyhounds, especially those raised to race like Lilli was, are very much pack animals. This is the first time she’s away from her pack, so she’s looking for a good home, a place to belong. Before I adopt my greyhounds out, I like the adopters to do a bit of learning about them, make sure they feel like it’ll be a good fit. And I have some basic training and things I can take you through. Henry knows all about it, I’m sure he’d love to tell you about it too. If you decide you’re interested in adopting her.”
Ted looks up at Sam, surprised by her words. Although Michelle had assured him he didn’t have to do this, hearing it from Sam felt different somehow.
She smiles at him, still on the ground with Lilli. “Henry and Michelle have told me a lot about you. From what they’ve said, I think the two of you would make a good match. But it has to be something you want, especially since you’ll be going back to London in a month.”
“Would you - could I -” he’s tongue tied, still trying to figure things out.
“I don’t usually like to adopt my dogs out to people who live outside this general area. But, this is a special circumstance. You come highly recommended.” She gives him a wink. “Lilli’s traveled by car a good bit and been fine with it. A plane ride shouldn’t be too difficult for her.”
Ted nods at that, even as Lilli gently moves to hold Ted’s hand in her mouth. She doesn’t bite down, just holds him there.
“I know you’re here for a while visiting Henry. You don’t have to make any decisions today. And if you want, you could always foster her for a bit, see how it all works out, before you decide.”
Ted thinks about the little house Michelle had insisted he stay in, instead of the hotel he’d originally planned on. Thinks of the fenced in yard in the back, big enough for a dog to run around.
“I think - I think I need to think on it for a bit.” He says as he carefully removes his hand from Lilli’s mouth and stands up. Lilli moves to rub up against him.
“I think that sounds just fine.” She reaches into her back pocket and pulls out a card. “If you have any questions at all, please call me.”
He takes the card with a nod as Henry and Michelle approach. “All good?” Michelle asks.
Sam smiles and Ted feels his own smile echoing it.
“He’s going to take a little time to think about it, which I think is a great idea. Henry, if and when he’s ready, you can tell your dad all you’ve learned about greyhounds, ok?”
“Yeah!” Henry’s eyes light up.
“Thank you.” Ted says, sincerely, as he leans down to give Lilli one more rub. “Bye, girl.” He doesn’t say see you soon, but he finds those words creeping up his throat as well.
Once they’re in the car, Henry starts to spout off all the things he’s learned about greyhounds so far and when Michelle is about to remind him that Ted hadn’t said he was ready yet, he reaches out and squeezes her shoulder. “It’s ok. I like hearin’ him this excited.”
Michelle smiles. “I was thinking we’d give you a little time to process and then you could get Henry for dinner, keep him overnight if you want? He’s got a birthday party tomorrow afternoon. Maybe we could get together and talk then?”
Ted thinks about all they need to talk about. He nods. “Yeah. Yeah. That sounds like a plan, Aimee Mann.”
Michelle gives him another smile and then lets Henry continue to ramble on until they reach Ted’s house.
“I’ll see you for dinner, bud.” Ted says as he leans back to hug Henry.
“Ok!” Henry pulls back and looks serious. “You will think about it, won’t you, Dad?”
“I will. I promise.”
Ted watches them drive away, then moves through the house and into the fenced in backyard. He sits down on a patio chair and just looks out into the yard. Then he pulls out his phone and presses a contact on his phone.
“Hey, Doc. Hope I’m not botherin’ you. I was just wonderin’… what do you think about me gettin’ a dog?”
**
His call with Sharon doesn’t take long. They briefly discuss his former fear of dogs and the way those feelings have changed over time. He voices the fears he has about whether or not he could be a good dog owner, if he’s even in the position to offer Lilli everything she needs. Sharon lets him get those thoughts out and lets him sit in silence for a few moments before she speaks.
“Ted, do you want to adopt this dog?”
“I think I do, Doc. I really think I do.”
“Then I think it’s a wonderful idea and I look forward to meeting her when you get back.”
They speak for a few more minutes, Ted updating her on the plan to talk to Michelle tomorrow and her assuring him that she will be available if needed. When they end the call, Ted looks out over the backyard again, imagines Lilli in it. Then he stands up and goes inside, opening his laptop and falling down a greyhound rabbit hole.
By the time he leaves to pick Henry up from Michelle, he’s read what feels like everything on the internet about greyhounds and their care, looked at multiple greyhound social media accounts, and has called Sam no less than six times.
To her credit, she has been kind and reassuring each time.
“I know you don’t have a yard in Richmond, but you’ve got The Green and plenty of places to exercise her. So long as you don’t mind the exercise too, you’ll be fine.”
“The time change may affect her for a bit at first, but she’ll adjust the same way you do. You just have to get her into a routine.”
“The weather change shouldn’t make her sick. Yes, you’re right that she doesn’t have a layer of fat and it will be colder and rainier in London. I think a raincoat and some other clothes - maybe even a Richmond jersey - would be a great idea for her.”
“Yes, of course you and Henry can stop after dinner to pick her up.”
“Don’t worry, Ted, I have all the supplies you’ll need to get started. Yes, we can make a list of things you’ll need to get for her.”
“No, I can’t say that I have seen greyhounds that paint on social media. ... No, I don’t know about Lilli’s artistic ability. ... Thanks for the link. ... Ok, that is very cool.”
He feels like the one vibrating as he drives over to pick up Henry, and the knowing smile on Michelle’s face tells him he’s busted.
“When are you picking her up?” She asks as Henry stomps around upstairs in his room, gathering all his things.
“After dinner.” Ted admits, grinning.
“And you’re sure this is you wanting this?” She asks, just to be sure.
“You remember that time we watched that documentary -”
“The Staircase.” Michelle supplies, knowing somehow exactly where this is going.
“And they tried to say that poor woman had been attacked by an owl?”
“And you went down that rabbit hole of researching about owl attacks for hours on end?” It still makes her chuckle now to think about it.
“Michelle, I just spent owl level time researching greyhounds.”
She throws her arms around him and hugs him then, in a way they haven’t done in years. It’s sweet and easy and speaks of love that is still there and it warms his heart as he hugs her back.
“I’m glad, Ted. Really. I think she’ll be good for you.”
He nods, pulling away when Henry bounds down the stairs, carrying a small overnight bag. “Ready to go, big guy?”
“Yeah!”
Michelle hugs and kisses Henry goodbye and even presses a kiss against Ted’s cheek before they leave.
**
They have a wonderful time at dinner, going out for some real barbecue. Getting to eat and laugh and talk with Henry fills him up in a way he didn’t even know was possible. He snaps an ‘ussie’ of the two of them, barbecue sauce smeared across Henry’s cheeks and a large smile on both of their faces.
He sends it to the team group chat, as well as Keeley and Higgins, and has it open in the text thread with Rebecca, ready to hit send before he even realizes what he’s doing. He freezes, his thumb hovering over the send button, when he catches sight of the last picture and message he’d sent. She hadn’t responded. Maybe that was her way of letting him know that she didn’t really care one way or the other what he did while he was gone. Or if he was gone.
He goes to move his thumb away before something inside of him thinks better (or worse) of it and he presses down on the send button, watching as the picture loads up. And then, because it’s Rebecca, he types two more words and hits send on them too.
‘Barbecue sauce’
Afterwards, he puts the phone in his pocket and turns his full attention on Henry, who is back to spouting off greyhound facts with fervor. Ted doesn’t have the heart to tell him that he’s read about all of this. It sounds better coming from Henry’s mouth anyway.