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“So you’ll be back around 8?”
“I should be.”
“I’ll see you then, then.”
“Alright. I love you.”
“What?”
He was still staring at his mobile even after he’d hung up, shocked at what he’d said. He did love her, and he was fairly sure she knew, but he’d had yet to say it. And saying it the way he did, and her reaction, seemed like a very good reason to pack his belongings and leave her home.
They were intimate, but love was another beast altogether. Sexual relations he could handle. It was pleasurable, he enjoyed making her be loud and demanding with what she wanted from him, and in the afterglow, he could hold her as she slept without comment. But love? Love was an emotion almost completely foreign to him. There had been the love he had felt towards the others of his kind, his family, but that was not the same as romantic love.
And yet that was what he felt all the same.
And he had told her, as easily as it had ever been. Not without meaning, but without meaning to. And she had asked “What?” and he had hung up. He was a coward.
A coward who was in love with a woman he did not deserve.
He was a monster, as Kirk never let him forget when they were alone. Sherlock tempered Kirk in a way that stimulated him, but while he was building a new life for himself in this past alternate universe, Kirk was trying to get home. He understood, in a way; the love Kirk felt for the crew of his vessel was akin to what he himself felt for those Marcus had held hostage. Yet he knew they were stuck here, and there was no going home, something Kirk seemed to finally start understanding. Still, he hoped, and as long as he had his hope, he wouldn’t find peace.
Peace was something he himself was trying to reconcile with. He was born and bred for war, but the wars of this time were mere child’s play. Should Mycroft need him too, he could single-handedly end some of the conflicts rocking the world, though the political quagmire in the United States was something he didn’t want to touch with a ten-foot pole. Give him a nice, messy battle scene or a political assassination and he would get the job done; the United States situation was best left to those who played politics all day, though he himself thought killing one or two key people in the political field would be beneficial to the Americans.
But that was neither here nor there. He had his freedom, so long as he was willing to lend his mind to building technology to help Britain advance. He had helped foster a few military technologies which had yet to be put to use, but the day-to-day technology he was working on would be far more beneficial to the people of this universe. And Molly was fascinated more by that than his prowess as a warrior, so it helped to have it to talk about. He enjoyed talking to her, being around her, sharing his life with her.
Though after the casual “I love you,” he’d need to change his name, hide his face and move out.
His mobile chirped and he answered it without looking at who was calling. “Yes?” he asked, his tone clipped.
“Oh. I just wanted to say I love you too.”
He was stunned. “What?”
“You just caught me off guard, I mean. I wasn’t expecting it. But I do. I mean, I love you too. That’s okay, isn’t it?” Molly paused. “Khan?”
“That’s more than okay,” he said, every muscle that had tensed now relaxing. “I think tonight we should celebrate this turn of events.”
“Oh, yes,” Molly said, her tone bubbly and affectionate. “You’ll still be home at 8, right?”
“I will.”
“Good. I’ll have supper ready and then you can tell me in person.”
“I’ll tell you as often as you want to hear it.”
“Good. I want to hear it a lot. And tell you I love you too a lot, too.” She paused, and he could hear someone in the background. “I have to go but...I love you, Khan.”
“I love you too, Molly,” he said, and then he hung up, and he found he couldn’t help the smile that crossed his face. Perhaps he’d been hasty in his plan to move out. It was a moot point now; she loved him too. That was all he needed to know to get through the rest of his day until he saw her and could show her just how in love with her he was.