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Liu Qingge hasn't slept in three days.
It's fine. It's not a problem. Sleeping is, by any means, merely a comfort for someone with a cultivation as high as his. Just like he technically wouldn't need to eat to be okay but does so because it holds a sense of comfort , going without sleep is nothing that could truly incapacitate him.
Besides, he decided that sleeping is a waste of time anyways. He can only keep himself safe when he's awake and ready to spring into action at the first signs of danger, after all. (He can only protect the few he cares about when he's awake.)
He tells Shen Qingqiu as much, while they're out today for a mission and camping in the woods and his fellow Peak Lord dutifully offers to keep watch first.
Predictably, Shen Qingqiu frowns at him, only belatedly remembering to snap his beloved fan open to hide it.
"Shidi, sleep is necessary. It's important."
Liu Qingge rolls his eyes. He's been a little more on edge lately, but again, that's fine. There's this mission on his mind and the next one already waiting for him as soon as they return - who wouldn't be tense? Though he calls it excited in his mind because when has the promise of a worthy fight ever not been exciting to him?
"I don't mind being awake," he repeats, only to see the frown on Shen Qingqiu's face deepen. He thinks quickly because an argument against Shen Qingqiu might be the only battle he can't ever hope to win.
"I will wake you in four hours," Liu Qingge offers. It's a bit amusing to watch the reaction these words have and he allows himself a smile. Something inside him unwinds a little. He takes a deep breath. "Sleep, Qingqiu. I'll keep watch."
Shen Qingqiu blushes a little at the familiar address and looks away. He mumbles something but in the end, he does follow along with the suggestion. Liu Qingge watches him silently as he settles, getting cozy under the blankets he insisted to bring along and he gives him another smile when Shen Qingqiu's green eyes look up at him.
"... goodnight, Qingge."
It takes mere minutes for Shen Qingqiu to fall asleep.
Liu Qingge doesn't wake him until the morning.
(Shen Qingqiu looks well rested when he does and it's worth the immediate scolding he gives Liu Qingge.)
~~~~~
Over the span of their mission, Liu Qingge keeps up his tactic. He knows very well that Shen Qingqiu, once he falls asleep, doesn't usually wake on his own until late morning - and he only wakes early when others disturb his sleep.
Liu Qingge knows it's a dirty trick but he's not above it. He's keeping Shen Qingqiu safe like this. That's what is important.
For Shen Qingqiu's safety, Liu Qingge can deal with feeling slightly more tired than usual.
(He starts meditating during the night, which isn't completely restful but it keeps him going. Besides, once they're back at Cang Qiong, he can sleep for a day in the safety of his own home.)
~~~~~
The beast of the week, when they finally track it down, is a tiger-like creature twice the size of Liu Qingge, with claws like gold and teeth sharp like daggers.
It puts up a respectable fight.
But Liu Qingge can't bring himself to enjoy it. More than once, his reaction time is a little too slow and he gets nicked by razor-sharp claws. More than once, his aim is off just so and it creates dangerous near misses.
In the end, he's still victorious of course - but bloodied and breathless and feeling far too exhausted.
Shen Qingqiu comes rushing towards him immediately. Concern is written all over his face as he reaches for Liu Qingge's wrist. He is saying something about being reckless and about having no sense of self-preservation but Liu Qingge isn't hearing him clearly.
His attention is solely focused on the blood on Shen Qingqiu's hands. Liu Qingge looks up and for one terrible moment, there's no life in Shen Qingqiu's green eyes and his face is pale with death. All the air leaves Liu Qingge in a rush. His legs feel like they'll give out-
"Qingge!"
He blinks. Once, then twice and the deathly pale, bloodied nightmare vanishes. Shen Qingqiu stands in front of him, steadying him. He is unharmed but looking very, very confused. He has one hand pressed against Liu Qingge's cheek. It feels warm and Liu Qingge leans into it.
"You're hurt!," Shen Qingqiu says with no small amount of terror in his voice. He's already moving, gently tugging Liu Qingge along to get him to sit. Liu Qingge just lets him steer him around, eyes falling closed.
He feels Shen Qingqiu's warm hands on his shoulders, his arms; assessing the damage done. It's nice, to be cared for like this.
"There's an inn not too far away," Shen Qingqiu says quietly after a moment, pulling Liu Qingge from his sluggish thoughts. "We'll stay there until tomorrow."
That's how Liu Qingge ends up in a small, clean room, trying hard to keep his eyes open. He feels unusually out of it. It's dangerous, he knows - with the state he's in, he'd be easy to defeat.
A bowl of water sits next to him and he doesn't quite remember when, but Shen Qingqiu had pulled his robes down at one point to clean his wounds. Liu Qingge blinks at the washcloth dabbing away his dried blood, then at Shen Qingqiu.
"I'm okay," he offers. Because he is . Those injuries are merely an inconvenience. And while his mind is slow, Liu Qingge would dare say that he'll be fine after some deep mediation.
Shen Qingqiu makes a noise. "You're absolutely not okay!," he scolds, an edge to his voice. "You're hurt . That was a Razor-Clawed Tiger, which is big but weak compared to your strength - yet you got hurt . That's-"
He hits a tender spot with his cloth and Liu Qingge twitches. Immediately, the scolding is replaced with worried inquires. Eventually, Shen Qingqiu drops his head on Liu Qingge's shoulder and heaves a deep sigh.
"I'm worried about you, Qingge," he says very quietly. Liu Qingge feels a little guilty. "... forgive me for being curious. But- did… did anything… happen?"
Liu Qingge frowns. "What do you mean?"
Shen Qingqiu's breath is hot against his bare skin. There's a beat of silence, charged with anticipation - it feels as though Shen Qingqiu is trying to figure out what to say.
"You've been tense," he begins carefully, with the tone of someone choosing his words with the utmost care. "And you seem tired. You haven't woken me once during this mission to keep watch. You haven't been sleeping, have you?"
Liu Qingge bites the inside of his cheek. He should have expected that Shen Qingqiu would figure out he's avoiding sleep. He should probably feel bad about being caught but it's… more of a relief. He feels the fight leave him.
Shen Qingqiu, of course, sees his change in behavior and presses closer. There's an arm sneaking around Liu Qingge's waist, careful and light. It feels safe.
Liu Qingge closes his eyes.
"When was the last time you slept?," he hears Shen Qingqiu ask, his voice gentle like a caress. It's not fair - Liu Qingge is helpless against that tone, helpless against the gentle warmth of Shen Qingqiu by his side. He takes a deep breath.
"I had a nightmare," Liu Qingge starts quietly, instead of answering the question right away. "I wasn't able to protect you. You died and it was my fault." Even just saying it makes his chest hurt again. The dream had been so real and the images still haunt him: Shen Qingqiu, dead. Laying on the ground in a pool of his blood, all because Liu Qingge hasn't been able to protect him.
"I haven't slept since," he confesses.
Shen Qingqiu's breath hitches and then all of a sudden, he's no longer leaning against Liu Qingge's side but has fully wrapped himself around him. He's clinging to Liu Qingge with much more strength than anyone would think possible. It's grounding. It feels like he's the only thing keeping Liu Qingge from falling apart.
Liu Qingge takes a shuddering breath before he lets his eyes fall closed. In Shen Qingqiu's arms, he can let go of his troubling thoughts.
They sit in comfortable silence for a long time, Shen Qingqiu holding him tightly. Liu Qingge thinks he'd be content to stay like this until morning, tired to the bone and finally relaxed enough to let himself feel it. But Shen Qingqiu moves - gentle hands guide Liu Qingge to his feet, direct him over to the bed.
He doesn't have the strength or the will to protest. When Shen Qingqiu tells him to lie down, he does so without complaint and mere moments later, a warm body joins him, familiar in its shape.
Shen Qingqiu tucks him closer and closer, until Liu Qingge's head rests safely on his chest. Like this, he has Shen Qingqiu's heartbeat right under his ear - a strong and steady beat. I'm alive, each pulse says. I'm right here .
"Sleep," Shen Qingqiu whispers as he soothes his hands down the line of Liu Qingge's back. Liu Qingge fights the exhaustion a moment longer but ultimately, he's powerless against Shen Qingqiu's gentle insistence. There are lips against his forehead; a fleeting kiss, warm and sweet.
"Sleep, Qingge. This time, I will watch over you."
Liu Qingge obeys, comforted by the proximity, the heartbeat under his ear. The nightmare lingers but it lost some of its threat.
He knows that when he wakes, Shen Qingqiu will be here to greet him.