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She had a secret nobody but her small notebook knew– the same one in which she wrote everything Gai taught her when he had energy, even if it didn't happen much.
Neji would just get weird with her, and she wasn't close enough with Tenten to say anything. Her heart ached in pain whenever they referred to her with the wrong pronouns and name– that's why she liked being called by her surname alone, at least until she found a name to use and be comfortable with.
Lee… didn't really have any 'feminine' clothes of her own. A couple of shirts, pants and the same jumpsuit her mentor used, and that was it. People would ask if she went to buy anything deemed 'wrong' for her to wear, and so she didn't even try coming up with an excuse. Yet every single time she passed near a shop with pretty dresses, she couldn't help but observe with yearning in her soul, a feeling she needed to hide with countless keys.
What would other people say? She was strong with her taijutsu, but still her heart was filled with fear about what hateful people might do to her when she got distracted. Her dream was to have beautiful clothes, and just show her true self to the world without being afraid– but it would never happen.
"Oh! Lee, hello!" a familiar voice said, and turning around, Lee could see Shikamaru walking towards her with a friendly smile on his face.
They had known each other during the Chunin exams, and ever since then sometimes they talked whenever it was possible. It wasn't hard for the girl to smile back and talk with him, albeit her mind was in a completely different place.
"Shikamaru! It has been a while," Lee exclaimed, doing her best to hide the anguish that had risen after overthinking just like she usually did. She wouldn't cry in front of her friend– he would want a reason behind her tears, and she didn't want to explain herself.
A short silence. Shikamaru squinted his eyes at her and tilted his head to the side, to later talk again.
"Are you okay, Lee? You seem… sad," her companion exclaimed with worry in his eyes, placing a hand on her shoulder in an attempt to give her comfort. No matter what anybody said, Shikamaru somehow always seemed to know what people felt– be it his peers or an enemy. The girl never quite understood it.
He was a sweet boy, and Lee had a feeling he wouldn't spread her secret around... perhaps it was safe. Or maybe her soul just wanted to tell anybody, to whoever was willing to stop and listen to her. Her heart began beating quickly as she spoke in a low voice, only for the Nara to hear.
"Shikamaru… Can I tell you a secret?" she whispered, her gaze falling to the ground as she talked. The boy let out a smile and nodded, not even willing to interrupt his friend. "You must not tell anybody, okay? It is very important nobody else knows."
"Uh? Okay, I won't tell," was all Shikamaru said, his eyes filled with curiosity as he waited for Lee to talk.
Her lips trembled before she finally was brave enough to speak once again, never looking at him in the eyes.
"I am a girl, Shikamaru. Just, um– I was born in the body of a boy, but that is not what I am… please, do not tell anyone."
It was like a weight had been lifted from her soul, and her lungs were filled with air after who knows how much time. She had never said it out loud– her mother wasn't interested in listening to her, so Lee had never been able to trust in anyone with her truth. And Shikamaru wasn't angry at all! At least, it didn't seem like it.
Rather, the boy had a pout on his face, as if he was still processing what had been said to him– he was a little slow sometimes, and probably didn't want to ask for clarification in fear of being mistreated just like many people had done in the past. And then his gaze brightened up, as if things made sense now.
"Oh! You're like Ino!" Shikamaru said, and his smile returned to his face. "I won't tell anyone, Lee– wait. Are you okay with me calling you that?"
Lee wanted to cry again, but this time not out of sadness– rather, it was like happiness was overflowing her, like a wave that desired to escape from her eyes. Out of instinct she hugged the boy, who chuckled and returned the embrace without saying anything.
"You are not mad at me!" Lee said, feeling her lips tremble with her words– tears finally began falling once Shikamaru gently patted her back, never letting go of her.
"Why would I? You're my friend," the boy exclaimed, letting out a soft smile. "Besides, I think you're a pretty girl."
Her cheeks suddenly felt warm, and laughter came out from her mouth for the first time in months– Lee had never expected such a nice response from anybody, and somehow her heart felt full of joy.