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It was almost miraculous how different a person Bokuto Koutarou could be when he was off the court. On the court, he was revered as the captain of Fukurodani Academy’s prestigious volleyball team. His skills were unparalleled and his fighting spirit was a force to be reckoned with. He was respected as one of the top five aces in the nation, so surely he would be brimming with confidence.
This was no game of volleyball, however.
Very few know of how he can be sometimes – how he’s like when he’s faced with one of his weaknesses. His strong, vivacious personality is lost and he suddenly seems like a lost child that needs to be taken care of. He didn’t have many, but his biggest weakness, both on and off the court, was the boy he spent countless hours training with, the boy he felt most comfortable being himself with, the boy he fell in love with. His biggest weakness was Akaashi Keiji.
You can do this, Koutarou! he thinks to himself. The pair were on their way home from another day of grueling practice. Halfway through, Bokuto lost concentration due to his silly crush and was hit in the head with several tosses. Needless to say, most of his teammates were starting to catch on, but dared not mention in fear of losing their captain to another one of his infamous mood swings. Sarukui in particular tried to keep in his laughter, but dismissed it as his “regular face” when his captain asked what was funny.
You can do this… he repeats his within his head. Just look him in the eyes and tell him how you really feel. You’ve led the team to victory so many times, this should be a piece of cake! It’s only three or so words, there’s nothing difficult about this at all! he attempts to convince himself.
“Bokuto-san, is something the matter?” his partner asks, shattering all attempts Bokuto made to try and convince himself otherwise.
“It’s nothing, really! I’ve just had a lot on my mind.” Bokuto dismisses whilst trying to avoid locking eye contact with his partner. He wasn’t ready to look at him directly without spilling out incoherent word vomit packaged as a confession.
“Are you sure, Bokuto-san? Do you not want to talk about it?” He definitely wanted to talk about it, but he couldn’t at the moment. “I don’t mind listening to what you have to say, you know,” Akaashi reassures his captain, unknowing that he himself is the cause of his friend’s internal conflict.
It wasn’t like the idea of being in love with Akaashi was bad, per se, he was very welcoming to the idea of holding Akaashi’s slender hands, planting sweet little kisses on his forehead when he does a good job, and even kissing Akaashi himself. Oh goodness, how great it would be to kiss him. But rather, it was the fear of rejection and the loss of a trusted partner and friend that scared Bokuto the most.
But he wasn’t going to let his fear control him this time. He didn’t want to leave these thoughts in the dark forever, do he was going to take the risk. Today, he was going to confess his feelings for his best friend once and for all.
“Hey, hey, Akaashi, can we go get something to eat before we go home for the day?” he asks, trying to keep his cool and pass it off as “dinner between friends” rather than “a date.” Oh, but the idea of actually going on a date with Akaashi was definitely one he’d have in mind anyways.
“Alright then. We’ll go get your favorite.” Akaashi decides, with a small, yet still gentle smile as a symbol of reassurance.
“No way! Yakiniku? You’re the best, Akaashi!” Bokuto cheers, immediately swinging his sad disposition into one full of brightness and energy.
Bokuto and Akaashi arrived at the closest restaurant they could find. There wasn’t anything special in particular about it, but the ace didn’t complain when it came to his favorite food.
“Alright, whenever you feel comfortable, please let me know what’s been bothering you the past couple of days. Everyone on the team seems to be worried about you, myself included.” Akaashi tells his partner with genuine concern.
“Mph… well… ift’s juft…” Bokuto tries to explain while stuffing his face with grilled meat. He swallows down his food and begins to speak coherently. “There’s been someone on my mind all the time… Like, all I can think of now is them, and I start losing focus because I just can’t stop thinking about them, you get me?”
“Oh, yes, I understand, Bokuto-san. You’re nervous about facing off against Aoba Johsai soon, aren’t you? You’re probably thinking so much about Oikawa-san’s play style to try and come up with a strategy for us. I never thought you had it in you to think something so intellectually involving through like that,” Akaashi declares with a look of triumph, truly believing that he was right on the money about Bokuto’s recent thoughts.
“Uh… Akaashi… no…” Bokuto sighs. “I, uh… I’m thinking about them, because I l-like them…”
“Ah, why didn’t you tell me sooner, Bokuto-san? Who is she?” the setter begins to question.
“Well, the person I like, is uh… actually a guy...” Bokuto answers, lowering his voice at the last half of his reply in an attempt to hopefully drown out any questioning looks from nearby customers.
“Bokuto-san, liking another man isn’t any to be ashamed about.” Akaashi reassures. His voice wasn’t particularly loud, but he stated it in a louder volume than what Bokuto attempted to turn down to. Bokuto, embarrassed anyways, looked away and began twiddling his thumbs.
Just as he began to feel his heart beat even faster, Akaashi started the conversation again. “If you don’t mind, can you tell me who he is? I’d love to support you in your efforts.”
“Well, he’s a really good friend of mine. You can even say he’s my best friend. We play volleyball a ton together! He has really nice, fluffy black hair, and his eyes have this dream-like look to them. Honestly, I just lose myself in them… And he and I just work well together and I want to tell him, but I’m so afraid that it’ll ruin our friendship if he rejects me, and I don’t want that, you know?” Bokuto takes in a deep breath as he finishes listing out every hint he could think of that points his answer straight at the boy he’s currently sitting across from.
“I see… Bokuto-san, I think you should be brave and just tell him how your feel,” Akaashi delivers with a very gently tone. Bokuto’s face begins to light up with hope. “I’m sure Kuroo-san would return your feelings if you just told him.”
Just how oblivious is he? Bokuto thinks to himself, unsure if he’s frustrated that his feelings aren’t getting through, or if he should laugh at how Akaashi, the smartest person he knows, can have moments like this.
Mouth agape in disbelief, Bokuto frantically attempts to get the message clear. “No, Akaashi, you’ve got it all wrong!”
“Bokuto-san, it’s okay. You don’t have to keep running away from your feelings like this. I’m here to support you because I’m your friend. You know, you’ve been like a best friend to me, so I want to do my best to support you.” Bokuto wondered if Akaashi had any idea of the irony of this statement.
“Akaashi, I’m serious here! It’s not Kuroo! It’s you for God’s sake!” Bokuto, immediately realizing what he just did, covered up his mouth in an attempt to refrain from saying anything else.
“I’m sorry… What did you just say?” Akaashi softly asks, eyes wide open after connecting every hint Bokuto has been giving together.
“Oh gosh… Do I really have to say it again? It’s you. I love you, Akaashi… Ever since we became partners, I realized how much more enjoyable it was playing volleyball together. You’ve really pushed me to be the best, and I… I started thinking about how proud I was to have you… I mean, who wouldn’t be jealous, you know? You and I have the best setter/spiker dynamic in all of Tokyo, and I mean, you’re just so beautiful! I can’t stop thinking about how much I want to kiss your pretty face and lose myself in your pretty eyes and how happy I am to have someone like you by my side!” Bokuto was a talkative person, but now, he found himself going on and on, listing every detail about Akaashi that made him fall in love. Eventually, as he finished, he apologized and ended with a simple “I’m sorry, man. I just really love you…”
“No, Bokuto-san…” Akaashi’s usual stoic face begins to loosen up into something very vulnerable. A single tear runs down his cheek. “I should be sorry. How could I be so stupid as to now understand your feelings? Honestly, I wished it was me, but I just thought, ‘There’s nothing special about me!’ and dismissed it as a mere thought. Bokuto-san, I’ve felt this way too, but you’re so special and important, and I’m just your setter for this last year…”
Bokuto leans in closer and wipes the tear off Akaashi’s cheek. His face is dangerously close, but he makes no effort to lean in any closer. He is finally able to look into Akaashi’s beautiful eyes. All thoughts of nervousness and fear melted away. In this moment, he needed to no words to get the message across anymore, both boys finally understood it all.
“Wow, very cute. Here’s your bill,” a deadpan voice cuts through the athletes’ shared emotional moment.
The sun begins to set, painting the sky a vivid orange as the pair continue to walk home together again. Bokuto is no longer nervously lost in thought, and makes small talk to lighten up the mood.
“So, Akaashi, if you don’t mind, can you tell me what you like about me? I just kinda wanted to know what you thought about me since I said so much about you. Uh, sorry for that, by the way,” Bokuto chuckles a bit to himself.
Akaashi grins. “I don’t mind. I too felt we worked well together as partners. I believe we balance each other out. I’m a very reserved person and I can’t speak what’s on my mind all the time, but here you are, always so full of enthusiasm and bravery,”
“B-but I was too scared to tell you how I felt about you straight off the bat!” Bokuto exclaims.
“But you did it eventually, and here we are now. Do you think I would have been able to do the same?” Akaashi’s grin becomes a light pout. Bokuto realizes that his feelings have probably been as hard on his partner as they were on him.
“O-oh…” was the only thing he could think of in response.
“You always seem to be able to connect so easily with anyone you meet, and even when you have one of your mood swings, everyone wants to do their best to be there for you. Not to mention that you don’t look so bad yourself, you know.” Akaashi continues to praise his captain. “It’s not just the fact that you’re my captain, or my spiker, or our ace, or that everyone seems to gravitate toward you. I just… I really look up to you, but now… I’ve wished that you thought of me the same way I think about you. And you’ve made all this effort to tell me how you feel. Thank you so much, Bokuto-san,” the setter tries to hold back any more tears from running down his face.
“I believe it is my turn to be brave, though.” Akaashi pulls Bokuto to a stop. Leaning in closer, their lips finally meet. It wasn’t particularly breathtaking, but that didn’t matter. Bokuto began to kiss back, and both boys closed their eyes and lost themselves in this moment of blissful happiness.
“D-does that make us b-boyfriends?” Bokuto nervously muses, cheeks hot and red, still taken aback by Akaashi’s act.
“I suppose so.” Akaashi’s face follows suit, flushing into its own shade of crimson.
“Hooray! I love you, Akaashi! I love you!” he repeats over and over, filled to the brim with joy. Akaashi didn’t mind, however. He wasn’t as vocal about his feelings as his new boyfriend, but he certainly felt the same.