Chapter Text
It was a surprise attack. Completely against Cale’s predictions, which was rather rare, because the man enjoyed being one step ahead, perhaps even two.. But he supposed the White Star got impatient.
As soon as the battle started, Cale rushed out, video communication device in hand, calling for reinforcements from the palace as well as other kingdoms, but it would still take time for those reinforcements to arrive.
Perhaps Cale got confident. Complacent, even. It was hard to say, but he was sure he never got overconfident. Never got complacent, never let his guard down. Technically, they had never really lost any of their battles against the White Star. Perhaps that’s what encouraged the White Star to become impatient, and what encouraged Cale to unknowingly let his guard down.
He wasn’t entirely sure how the White Star found the Black Castle. Perhaps he’d had trackers on some of his troops from the Endable Kingdom who’d come to conquer the castle, but he’d never know. It wasn’t exactly important right now, anyway.
In the midst of battle, Cale could see the White Star hanging around in the back as he [ Cale ] shot a thunderbolt at some golems. “Coward,” Cale muttered under his breath, almost hoping the masked man would hear him.
They were outnumbered and were beginning to get overwhelmed. Cale’s breath hitched in his throat as he saw Eruhaben collapse as reinforcements began to arrive. Mana exhaustion? Cale thought hysterically, swallowing a lump in his throat. Now, of all times? Assuming a position as Commander, as was almost natural to him, he quickly yelled at some of the Raon Kingdom’s soldiers to move Eruhaben to a safe location. The dragon wasn’t dead yet, and there was no way in hell Cale would allow the bastard to die so easily.
Cale coughed up some black blood as one of the White Star’s thunderbolts hit his shield, hearing a cry of alarm from Raon. He carefully ignored it, not wanting to get distracted in any way. The metallic substance engulfed two of his five senses, laying on his tongue and spilling out of his mouth. He could almost feel himself getting weaker by the second, but didn’t allow it to hinder him in any way.
Other than Eruhaben, Cale would have liked to say they were doing quite well, but it was quite the uphill battle. Cale was watching soldiers fall in battle out of the corner of his eyes, the normal soldiers being no match against black magic and vampires and such. Cale’s teeth dug into his lip, as an attempt to clear his mind.
Nothing good could come out of a Commander, of all people, being distracted. He reassured himself that everything would be fine.
But that’s about when shit hit the fan. Cale saw Ron fall nearby, hit in the back of a knee by an arrow. While Ron was quite a fit old man, he was an old man regardless. The arrow caused him to topple, a mistake the patriarch normally never would have made. It didn’t take long for the Fog Cat Tribe to make work of him. Beacrox fell shortly after, distracted by the death of his father.
They had a familial bond closer than most father and son would have. It was fitting for them to die close to each other.
Cale’s eyes shook at the sight. His mind was a mantra of shit and fuck. If anyone heard what was going through his mind right now, they’d surely faint from the shock. The calm and collected Commander Cale panicking was a sight to behold.
Cale’s resolve only continued to be shaken. Ally after ally fell, making Cale almost thankful he’d kept On and Hong in the castle with Lord Sheritt. He wanted to make Raon do the same, but Raon had insisted. Who was Cale to try and protect the dragon, anyway? Mary, too, was elsewhere. With the Dark Elves, if he had to guess, or perhaps in the Henituse territory.
He wished he’d made Raon stay with Lord Sheritt. Cale continued to charge forward, exercising more than he’d ever done in the two years he’d been in this body, straining himself in doing so. He toppled enemy after enemy with his ancient powers, Raon by his side.
His target was the White Star. He knew he was the only one who could take the bastard down. The dagger made from the root of the World Tree laid heavy in his pocket. He was skeptical, but the World Tree had no reason to deceive him. He had no choice but to blindly trust it.
The lack of red mana was an ominous sign to Cale. Ah, Rosalyn too? Cale thought numbly. He wasn’t in a right state of mind at this point, all sense of self preservation tossed out the window. Retreat wasn’t an option. If they tried, the White Star would just find and attack them again. It’s not like their secret bases were much of a secret anymore.
He subconsciously shot a boulder at an approaching group of enemies, immediately blocking out the toll the overuse of his abilities was taking on his body. That wasn’t important right now. He could distantly hear Raon speaking in his mind, but it felt almost quiet.
Quiet? Raon was anything but quiet.
Not many people could get past Raon’s defenses undetected. It was impossible, even, but perhaps Raon let his guard down amidst the chaos and grief. He’s only seven, please for the love of God-
The dragon was small. Any wound or injury that would have been inconsequential for a full sized adult dragon would be so much more for the seven-year-old. Cale’s breath hitched in his throat, a gruesome scene before him.
Raon would never be able to pass on naturally, as dragons are supposed to in old age.
The image imprinted itself in Cale’s mind. My fault? Is this my fault? Why’d you have to take him? He lost most of his sense of reason.
-
Cale was not the only one affected by Raon’s death. It hit Choi Han like a truck, a wave of nausea and dizziness settling over the swordmaster. It was a feeling more dreadful than anything else, more full of despair than he’d ever felt when he was younger. It normally wouldn’t have hindered the swordmaster if he didn’t know the cause.
It made the single-lifer slip up. A small mistake, yes, one he theoretically could’ve recovered from with ease, but a fatal one as well.
After all, when your life is intertwined with someone else’s, what happens when that other being dies?
-
Cale approached the White Star at a pace unrivaled. Sound of the Wind helped him, of course. He just wanted to finish this now. The battle would have to end in one of their deaths, or even both. Would that be so bad? As long as I can take this bastard down with me.
Truly, he hated using this power. It was painful and strenuous, it knocked him unconscious almost every time he used it. He gripped the World Tree dagger in his hand, swallowing his nerves as he stood still and stared at the White Star, who stared back.
The White Star grinned at him, seeming to feel victory within his grasp.
Faster than the eye could see, as the Roan Kingdom’s soldiers stared in horror behind him, the emotionless looking Commander whipped out a dagger and stabbed himself in the heart with it. The White Star froze, confused. In an instant, Cale had reached the bastard and stabbed the masked man in the heart with the dagger covered in his own blood.
The scene was a confusing one. The White Star’s mask fell as he toppled. The dagger that Cale had stabbed himself with turned to dust. Most of Arm’s and the Endable Kingdom’s forces had been decimated, but no one cheered. The remnants of the ancient powers rose from the White Star’s body, almost seeming as though they were trying to escape, but Cale quickly embraced them and held them in the 1,000 year old’s mask.
The battlefield was silent. Cale stood tall as the sole victor of a battle that had only lasted for an instant. Without a word, he walked back, falling to his knees as he cradled the young black dragon’s lifeless body in his arms. Covered in blood, the soldiers watched their Commander’s mask break for the first time as he cried.
For the second time since he inhabited this body, Cale cried. It was an ugly cry, something he’d never done since he was a kid as Kim Rok Soo, but he didn’t care anymore.
-
When Eruhaben woke up, he felt weaker than he’d felt in his life. He was laid in a room unfamiliar to him, with Cale sitting at his bedside. The man looked like he hadn’t slept in 20 years, working on paperwork on the nightstand. When Eruhaben shuffled, Cale’s eyes slowly moved to him.
When the eyes were pointed at him, Eruhaben noticed they were slightly swollen and red.
That kind of look doesn’t belong on this bastard’s face.
“You’re awake. They said it’d take longer.” Cale sighed, rubbing his temples and abandoning the work he’d been doing.
“How long has it been since the battle?”
“You’ve been asleep for three days.”
“What happened?” Eruhaben’s voice sounded weak coming out of his mouth. “Where’s everyone else?”
“The White Star is dead. For good, this time.” Cale touched a place around his heart. Eruhaben’s eyebrow twitched at the suspicious movement, but didn’t press. “The others…”
Cale swallowed. “On and Hong are.. Fine. Physically.” Eruhaben didn’t like the implications of that. “Mary isn’t in the territory right now, and I haven’t been able to contact her since…”
“Just say it. Don’t tiptoe around it.”
“Raon, Choi Han, Ron, Beacrox…” Cale went on to list a few more names of some of those they had been close to. “...were all buried recently.”
Cale laughed, but it had no happiness behind it. “It’s pathetic, isn’t it? I guess we got complacent. The White Star got the jump on us.” Eruhaben grabbed Cale’s hands, noticing the red haired man’s nails digging into his palms, verging on drawing blood. He gently pried them open.
“Where’s the jar?” Eruhaben questioned, sitting up in the bed. Cale carefully removed his hands from Eruhaben’s grip and grabbed the cracked jar out from his spatial bag. He handed it over to the golden dragon.
And the jar overflowed. “I guess I’m not quite ready to go yet.” I can’t leave this punk alone. Who knows what he’ll do if I’m gone?
It was meaningless justification. Cale reiterated over and over again that he’d wanted a slacker life when all of this was done, but with all the havoc he’d created thus far, Eruhaben wasn’t sure Cale wouldn’t continue to create chaos. Perhaps he thought he’d like to be around for that, or perhaps he thought he’d be able to keep Cale’s chaos-creating tendencies in check.
He has a tendency to make a small situation much larger.
Eruhaben, in his 1,000 years of life, didn’t experience much loss. As dragons lived in seclusion, they never made connections either. Eruhaben was a slight exception to this, as he was probably the only dragon that he knew of who had a tendency to form a connection with others.
Every few centuries or so, news would reach him that a dragon passed away. He didn’t think very much of it. After all, he didn’t care much for anyone else. Death was just a branch of life, everyone ends up there at some point.
But somehow, these losses hurt more than the ones in the past. Those ones didn’t faze him, but these ones were a lot more painful to him. He supposes he grew attached. Maybe he was getting emotional at the end of his life.
Seeing a man of Cale’s caliber in this state, well… Eruhaben couldn’t help but yearn for life.
Ah. I guess I’m still needed. I’m not allowed to die yet.
He accepted his fate with a sigh and brought the jar to his lips.
He grunted in pain, but felt more revitalized than he had in the past 10 years. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Cale slightly trembling. Another thing out of place for him. I don’t like this.
He sighed, laying back in the bed. He stared at the ceiling, getting his thoughts together.
Suddenly, Cale threw something at the wall. A book?
“Sorry, Eruhaben-nim, it was burning me.” Cale got up from his seat at Eruhaben’s bedside, grumbling. Leaning down and picking the book back up, Eruhaben watched the red haired man open up the book.
He watched Cale’s eyes widen almost astronomically. “I’m sorry, I have to go.” Cale rushed out of the room, leaving Eruhaben to ponder what that had been about.
“Ah, I forgot to ask him where we are.” He looked around, sighing. “Oh well. I’ll just ask someone else.”
–
If it came to it, would I cross that line?
Cale had drawn himself an imaginary line. How far would he go to get what he wants? So far, he’d managed to stay behind that line. Across the line laid things he never believed he would do, and hasn’t even considered as of yet.
–What are you willing to do to get them back?
Among those things was making a deal with a higher being. He’d highly disapproved of Choi Han making a deal with the God of Death to be able to help Cale with the God of Despair’s test. After all, the swordmaster was putting his life on the line.
And here that bastard was again.
But the situation was different.
Will I cross that line?
Yes. He would.
He opened the divine item once again, running his hands over the words that laid in black ink. He imagined them burning into his skin, into his head. They taunted him, dangling what should have been an impossibility right in front of him, as though it was a carrot on a stick and he was a pig.
What am I willing to do? The question was absurd in his mind. What was he willing to do? He didn’t even need to think about it. Although he was constantly being taunted by the threat of falling asleep, (after all, he hadn’t slept in several days. How could he, given the situation?) his mind was clearer than ever.
“Anything,” Cale whispered. “I’ll do anything to get them back.”
New words were scribbled on the page. Cale swallowed back his nerves, eyelids feeling less heavy with the shock.
–Would you give up your life? Your afterlife?
He gripped the book with white knuckles. He heard the Super Rock warn him in his head.
–Cale, don’t do anything rash.
No. He wasn’t being rash. He was definitely thinking all of this through. But Cale wasn’t mentally stable right now. While he might think he’s not being rash, the reality might have been totally different from his thoughts.
“Anything.” Cale said, then felt a sudden question fall upon him. “But, isn’t this deal completely disadvantageous for you?”
After all, thinking about it logically, the God of Death was, essentially, powered by people’s deaths. To release several lives in return for Cale’s short one was an absurd deal, and made Cale reasonably suspicious of the God.
No words appeared in the book. Cale then asked another question, feeling almost antsy asking it.
“Was I the one who was supposed to die?” Again?
– Yes.
Cale clenched his teeth and gripped the book even harder, cursing himself for his fate-defying tendencies.
–Your life is more valuable than anyone else’s. Your death would give me more power than any one of your companions. You are constantly dancing a tango with life and death, always on the border. With that and that ancient power of yours, the scales are almost tipped in my favor in this deal.
He didn’t know what to say. It made sense, to some extent. He unclenched his jaw and loosened his grip on the book and sighed.
“So, it’s almost as though you’re returning things to how they’re supposed to be, huh?” Cale said. He didn’t give the God a chance to say anything. “Fine. I’ll accept your deal.”
He dryly swallowed, his voice becoming quieter. “Just.. At least give me three months.” He stared at the half-filled page in the black book. He knew he wouldn’t regret this decision. He just wanted to have some time to help make everything right before… He had to leave.
–A deal’s a deal. Three months it is. This might hurt a bit.
A wave of dizziness and nausea settled over Cale. A metallic taste filled his mouth. He gasped as he felt a searing pain in his abdomen, as though someone had stabbed him and started twisting the knife.
He spat out the blood from his mouth. It’s more of a scarlet this time, he thought dazedly. It splattered on the ground, making a weird Splat! noise, as he sprawled out onto the floor.
As his eyes began to flutter closed, he glared at the wooden floor. Hurt a bit, my ass. That did more than just “hurt.”
-
When Cale woke up, the first thing he noticed was that he was in bed, unlike how he had passed out. The second thing he noticed was that he wasn’t alone.
“Dongsang, you’re awake.” Quite swell company to have as soon as he awoke.
“How glad am I to see you, Radiant Star of our kingdo-”
Alberu sighed and leaned back in his chair. “Cut that out. You gave us quite a scare.”
He rolled his eyes, looking very princely. “You gave everyone quite a scare. You suddenly disappeared into your room like that, and when Eruhaben-nim came in to check on you, you had collapsed on the floor.”
Ah, that. That will be tough to explain. Cale bit his lip. His abdomen still felt quite sore, making him want to curse at someone, but he held it in for the sake of his hyung’s sanity.
“What the hell did you do?” Cale looked directly at Alberu when the crown prince asked that.
“Whatever do you mean?” Cale began to avoid eye contact with Alberu.
“Choi Han, Raon, Ron Molan, Beacrox Molan, Rosalyn, and others were supposed to be dead.” Alberu swallowed a lump that was beginning to form in his throat. His voice grew quieter as he continued. “What did you do that somehow brought them back?”
Cale remained silent. Confined to his bed, he had no way of avoiding Alberu’s interrogation, and Alberu wasn’t about to let up when the one who could answer his questions was right in front of him.
“Hyung, you can’t tell anyone what I’m about to tell you.”
Purely out of curiosity, Alberu replied with another question. “Why not?”
“The only reason I’m telling you this is because I know you’ll somehow get it out of me anyway.” Cale closed his eyes. “But the rest of them will freak out if they know. Especially…”
Cale trailed off, but he didn’t need to continue. Alberu understood the seriousness of the situation, it seemed, and could fill in the blanks without Cale needing to say anything. Raon. Cale dryly swallowed. He opened his eyes and looked Alberu in the eye from his place on the bed.
“I made a deal with the God of Death,” he whispered.
“Are you fucking insane?” Alberu hissed at him. “You, of all people? Making a deal with that bastard?”
Cale laughed. “Yes, perhaps I am insane.” He stopped and sighed, turning his head to look off at the side, away from Alberu. “I… I was scared. Isn’t it laughable? Me, Cale Henituse, scared?” He scoffed.
Alberu was quiet. “What were the contents of the deal?”
“He would bring them all back to life in exchange for my life and afterlife.” He laughed, but there was little to no emotion behind it. Not an ounce of cheerfulness “I have about 3 months left.”
Alberu’s breath hitched in his throat. “My dumbass dongsang.” He clenched his fists until his knuckles were white.
“But it’s fine. I can live the rest of my life out as a slacker, isn’t that what I wanted?” Cale sighed. His voice grew silent. “The God of Death told me I was supposed to die, anyway. This is just returning everything to its rightful place.” He couldn’t handle Alberu’s piercing gaze very well, even turned away he could still feel it burning into his skull. Look, I don’t like it either, hyung-nim.
He didn’t say that, though, since it was just empty consolation. After all, while the God was the one who proposed the deal, it was still Cale that accepted it. So he kept quiet instead.
“So how do you plan on explaining this to everyone else?” It was a valid question but one that Cale had really wanted to avoid. There was almost no way to explain everyone’s sudden revival while dodging the topic of Cale’s deal. After all, who could have brought them back if not a God?
Cale shrugged. “Feign ignorance?” What else could he do, really? “By the way, I’m surprised there's no one else here.”
Alberu looked sheepish. “I sent them all out. I figured you’d end up overwhelmed if you woke up in a crowded room.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m pretty much the only one with enough authority to do that. Eruhaben-nim also helped.”
Yes, of course everyone listens to the crown prince and ancient dragon. Cale sighed. Regardless, it worked out in his benefit, so he had no room to complain. He had been slightly worried that the God of Death didn’t keep his word when Alberu was the only face to greet him when he awoke, but he was satisfied when Alberu confronted him.
He may be a bastard, but he’s apparently a bastard that keeps his promises. Cale was able to be satisfied with that much.
The worst part is, though, that this entire situation was avoidable. Cale’s eyes hardened as he clenched his jaw. If I’d just been a few steps ahead, if our surveillance was the slightest bit better-
“Hey, stop that.” Alberu lightly tapped Cale’s head with his hand. Cale laid his own hand where Alberu tapped it and looked at the man with confusion. “I know that stupid look on your face. Look, the situation isn’t… Exactly the best. But we have to do with what we have.”
With some difficulty, Cale managed to push himself to sit up in bed. He leaned against the bed frame and winced, grabbing his stomach. I swear, when I see that bastard, I’ll at least punch him. That’s the least he could allow me.
Cale closed his eyes, considering asking Cage to curse at the bastard God, before deciding better of it. I can do it myself in three months, he thought bitterly.
When he opened his eyes, he looked back at Alberu, who looked at him with a mildly concerned expression “Hyung, can you get me some food?”
Alberu groaned. “Of course, of course. Make the crown prince into your servant. Nothing wrong with that.” He got up anyway, approaching the door.
Cale grinned, eyes filled with mirth. “Thanks, hyung-nim!”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” He watched Alberu leave with a smile on his face.
Cale brought a handkerchief up to his lips and coughed into it, glaring at the blood that came from his mouth. He folded it and pocketed it quickly, hiding it from view.
He couldn’t let anyone else find out about it. The blood rested itself on his tongue as the smell invaded his nose.
-
When Alberu came back, he brought company with him. Cale didn’t get to see all who came along, however, as a black blob flew at him and dove into his arms. He grunted from the force that knocked all the air out of his lungs, and unnoticeably winced at the pain it caused, radiating from his midriff.
His shirt was starting to feel suspiciously wet as he pet the crown of Raon’s head, smiling gently. When Raon looked up at him, he noticed large teardrops spilling from the young dragon’s eyes. Cale frowned slightly as Raon wordlessly shoved his head into Cale’s chest.
Ah, he’s heavy, Cale thought. He didn’t have the heart to say it though. Seeing it is so much more different from hearing about it.
I’m glad it worked.
Cale, himself, could feel his eyes start to sting, but he held it all back in favor of comforting Raon. After all, if the dragon saw Cale crying, he’d probably threaten to blow something up.
“Cale-nim, how…” Choi Han visibly swallowed. “How are we…?”
“Back?” Cale asked, choking up slightly. He smiled at Choi Han, a genuine smile that kept secrets behind it. “I have no clue.”
He could feel Alberu and Eruhaben, who Cale had just noticed, staring daggers at him. He made eye contact with both of them and subtly brought a finger to his lips.
Of course Eruhaben would notice something, Cale thought, I can’t keep anything a secret from him.
He was glad Choi Han didn’t press any further, hopefully believing the red head. Cale was unsure he’d be able to keep anything secret if Choi Han started pressing him. Of course, Cale was sure the swordmaster knew something was up, how could they just return after death so suddenly?
But, regardless, Choi Han said nothing else, just stood there with an uneasy look on his face.
I feel bad about lying to them, but… It can’t be helped. Cale gripped the blanket. There’s still work that needs to be done.
Cale exhaled, feeling unusual.
Knowing he was going to die soon was rather odd. Normally, death was unexpected. For some, like the terminally ill or the old, you only knew a rough estimate of when you’re going to die. Doctors can estimate, but doctors can be wrong as well.
You can be told you have 6 months to live due to your heart complications, but die 2 years later. On the other end, you can be told you have 2 months to live, but die in one. Some will die of other unnatural causes despite being perfectly healthy.
Traffic accidents and suicide, Cale knew, were relatively common in modern society on Earth. Before the whole apocalypse thing, of course. With the development of medicine, disease wasn’t too much of a concern, but some weren't so lucky in that regard.
Despite medicine and practices in the field advancing with the appearance of abilities, after society had stabilized, complete cures for illnesses like cancer and AIDs were still in development when Cale transmigrated or went undiscovered entirely.
Cale remembered reading about someone who had the ability to tell the exact time and date of a person’s death just by peering into someone’s eyes. The man had, apparently, secluded himself in his home because he had begun to go insane from his ability. All his food had to be supplied to him through a drone because he’d grown to fear other people.
He wondered if he, too, would begin to go insane nearing his death date. He knew the exact date he would pass, although not the exact time, and he wasn’t entirely sure he’d be able to cope with the fact that, yeah, this is real, I am going to die in 3 months, within those three months.
But, well, that was a problem for (mostly) Future Cale. He wanted to relish in the fact he hadn’t completely failed for now.
-
After Cale recovered from whatever the God of Death did to him, he began to put some of his efforts into widespread recovery. The nobles believed it was just Cale attempting to appease the public, but in reality, the red head would have felt a little bad pushing it all onto his hyung.
Alberu offered to take on the work, saying Cale should enjoy himself now that the biggest part of everything was pretty much done, but he’d refused the offer, smiling bitterly.
“You’ll probably find yourself drowning in work once I’m gone.”
Alberu had frowned, but didn’t say anything in response, because that was the reality of it. The crown prince would have to find a way to explain to the citizens that Young Master Silver Shield had died overnight, despite being fine the day before. The news would cause an uproar among the citizens, no doubt.
So Alberu had said nothing.
“Maybe you should tell Choi Han,” Alberu had suggested, two weeks after Cale made the deal. Cale was at the palace helping the man with paperwork, and had allowed Raon to roam elsewhere due to the boring nature of the paperwork.
“Do you think so?” Cale hummed.
“Well, think about it,” Alberu began, “Out of all your companions, only two of them know anything about your situation, which is me and Eruhaben-nim.”
Cale nodded along.
“But the two of us won’t be able to handle the fallout entirely. I think out of the people closest to you, Choi Han would be able to handle the news best.” Alberu concluded. He tiptoed around the contents of Cale’s situation, out of fear that saying it out loud would make it far too real.
“I guess so,” Cale conceded, “But how much would I tell him?”
“Up to you, dongsang.” Alberu sighed. “It still doesn’t feel real to me.”
Cale just shrugged. “Well, you are talking to a dead man walking. There’s nothing very realistic about that.”
Alberu glared at Cale, who laughed. The crown prince shook his head, thinking to himself.
Perhaps humor is his way of coping.
-
Choi Han was, truthfully, confused as to why Cale had called for him. As the White Star was gone, and other forces began to slowly wipe out the corruption rooted deep within their territories, all that was left was administrative and restorative work.
Which was not Choi Han’s specialty. These days, he spent a large chunk of his time with Raon and Cale, as well as Rosalyn and Mary. There really wasn't a lot for him to be doing anymore.
It was for all these reasons that Choi Han was confused about why Cale wanted to talk to him in private, even without Raon in the room.
When Choi Han opened the door, the first thing he noticed was Cale standing in front of the window, with the sunlight hitting his face. He was faced away from the door when Choi Han entered, with his hands clasped behind his back. Cale turned his head ever so slightly, just so he could see the swordmaster in his peripheral.
“You’re here.” Choi Han felt the slightest bit nervous. Cale’s shadow seemed to stretch infinitely far despite the sun in his face like that.
Cale laughed lightly, finally turning around. “Sorry, I wanted the chance to do that at least once. It always looks cool in movies, but it’s a lot more cringy in actuality.” He smiled at Choi Han, who sighed. “Did it worry you?”
“I was afraid you’d been possessed, Cale-nim.” Choi Han stated bluntly. Cale chuckled, and gestured to a chair.
“All jokes aside, you might want to sit down for this.” Choi Han sat down in the chair Cale had pulled out for him, while Cale sat in the windowsill.
“Truthfully, I wasn’t going to tell you anything at all in the first place,” Cale sighed and ran a hand through his hair, looking away. “But Hyung-nim insisted I do last night, since you’re the most trustworthy person here.”
He paused. “Raon as well, but he would freak out if he heard.”
Okay, now Choi Han was getting a lot more worried. It was something Raon absolutely could not know about, and something that was kept between Alberu and Cale only, as far as Choi Han knew. If he had to guess, he’d say Eruhaben knew as well.
He thought back to how he’d, somehow, returned from death. He remembered darkness and a blinding light, before somehow ending back up at the Super Rock Villa. For two days after Choi Han had been pulled out of the grasps of death, Cale had been unconscious.
“He was fine before,” Eruhaben had grumbled. “Tired, yes, but he seemed to be very awake when he left the room I was in.”
“Did something happen for Cale-nim to end up unconscious?”
Eruhaben had gone quiet. “I don’t know, but I went to check up on that bastard and he was on the floor with blood pooling out of his mouth.”
That had happened a few hours before Choi Han returned.
He’d already known to some extent that Cale had had something to do with this. He just decided not to press when Cale had feigned ignorance. If he wanted to tell me, he would tell me. He’d felt the slightest bit hurt, but decided it wasn’t a problem with him, ultimately. After all, Raon had no idea either, and if Raon didn’t know, then it was unlikely very many other people did.
Whatever the case may have been, whatever Choi Han may have speculated, he didn't entirely expect this.
“Choi Han, I have around 3 months to live.”
Cale dropped the bomb so casually and with a faint smile on his face. Choi Han’s breath hitched in his throat.
“You… What?” Choi Han cleared his throat. “I must have heard wrong.”
He didn’t want to doubt Cale at all, but there was no way…
“Well, its more like two and a half months, now.” Cale coughed awkwardly, intertwining his fingers. “I… This is why I didn't want to tell anyone.”
Cale hesitantly looked back at Choi Han, whose gaze he’d been avoiding. The swordmaster was trembling. “How? Why?” His gaze was unsteady. “How could you keep something like this…?”
Choi Han watched as Cale turned away from him again, looking back out the window.
“The God of Death contacted me. Tell me he could bring you guys back.” Cale placed a hand in his hair and looked at Choi Han once again. He had a sad smile plastered on his face. “It was a deal I couldn’t refuse.”
“I mean, all he wanted was my life. I didn’t have to sacrifice anyone else. How insane is that?” Cale kept smiling as he was talking. “So I took the deal. I admit it was rash of me, but I’d never regret it in a million years.”
Choi Han clenched his fists, and punched the wall. “So, what about everyone else you’re leaving behind?” He didn’t shout, but his voice was laced with a carefully repressed anger. He wanted to say he wasn’t angry at Cale, but it would have been a lie. “Did you not think to consider how we felt?”
Cale furrowed his eyebrows, looking at the wall where cracks began to form. He had nothing to say. Because, really, Cale did not consider anyone else. Cale didn’t consider his life to be of much importance. Some people were pretty much irreplaceable, like Raon, Alberu, or Choi Han. They all had significant roles and things only they could do. But anyone could do what Cale had done. He wasn’t a dragon, wasn’t a swordmaster, wasn’t a prince.
All he had was a brain and a novel. He wasn’t even physically strong. He was sure he wasn’t much of anyone special.
“I’m not-”
“You got upset at me for sacrificing a small percentage in my already long lifespan to help you..” Choi Han started, still trembling, his voice slightly raising in volume. “But you’re allowed to sacrifice your entire life?! Does your life mean nothing to you?!”
“This is different. ”
“How? How is this much different?” Choi Han pressed. “Cale-nim, what if you had died there? What if you really had succumbed to despair? What would you have done without me or Alberu-nim?”
Choi Han could see Cale clench his fists and grit his teeth. “I would have been fine because that wouldn't have happened. ”
“But how do you know?” Cale couldn’t respond to that. He didn’t know, of course. It wasn’t like he had prophetic abilities. If he had died in that test or if he had succumbed to despair, he would’ve been gone either way. As a ghost or as a new demon species, he wasn’t sure which one was better.
“He told me I was supposed to die.” Cale felt his nails dig into his palm. “Raon protected me from a blow that was supposed to take my life, and in the end, it killed you, too.”
He laughed, feeling rather hysterical. “Isn’t- Isn’t this just me returning things to how they’re supposed to be? Isn’t it?”
“Cale-nim…”
“You can leave now, Choi Han.” Cale whispered. “I… I need some time to myself.”
Choi Han stood silently. “As you wish.” Cale didn’t dare look in his direction until he heard the door click.
Cale looked at the door, sighing. He covered his face with his hands. That could have gone better.
-
It was hard for Choi Han to act like everything was normal. He wasn’t a good actor, anyway, but there was a lot hanging on keeping this secret. Every time he looked at Raon, On, or Hong, he felt an insurmountable measure of guilt. They were all none the wiser.
Cale had extended a helping hand to them in their hardest times. He even helped them get revenge on those who hurt them. That man was leaving them soon and they didn’t even know it. It caused Choi Han a lot of sorrow to think about.
I wonder how he’s coping with it. After all, it wasn’t like Choi Han was the one dying.
He hadn’t had very many chances to talk to Cale recently, especially not since their fight. (Choi Han didn’t want to call it a fight, it was just a disagreement, he thought, but he couldn’t help but refer to it as a fight.) It’d been about 6 days since then, and Choi Han could count the number of times they’d spoken on one hand.
“Take care of the children for me,” Cale had said. “Promise?”
“Yes, Cale-nim.” Choi Han had replied. “I promise.”
Choi Han was still trying to accept the fact that Cale was within death’s grasp. He’d wondered what Cale was planning to tell the rest of them, or when. Was he going to wait until he’s on his deathbed?
He paused. What if he doesn’t tell them at all?
It wouldn’t be hard. If the man wanted to go quietly, that’d be the way to do it. He swallowed a ball of nervousness. The fact of the matter was that Cale would definitely do that. Would he want to die alone?
That just seemed sad to Choi Han.
He quickly erased those thoughts from his head. He didn’t really want to think about that right now. That could be dealt with when the time comes.
Choi Han was still slightly angry at Cale. Those feelings didn’t exactly go away easily, after all. He thought of Cale as rather hypocritical, in fact. But it wasn’t like he could just say that. After all, what’s done is done. It’s not like the swordmaster could just challenge a God to an epic duel to the death and win. Especially not the God of Death. Might as well kill him before he even challenges, right?
At the same time, he could also understand where the man was coming from. After all, given the chance, would Choi Han do the same thing? The more he thought about it, the more that answer leaned toward Yes, he would. If the God of Death gave him that same opportunity at Harris Village, he was pretty sure he would take it.
If he were in Cale’s situation with that kind of opportunity… He would take it without hesitation. What did his life matter if he could bring his friends back?
Suddenly Choi Han understood. He didn’t feel like he had a choice. What would have happened to Cale if the God of Death had not presented that opportunity to him? The thought made him feel nauseous.
So it’s been… About three weeks now, he thought. We have a little over 2 months left, then.
Choi Han would do whatever he could for Cale, then.
-
Raon loved the weak human. He’d never say it out loud, he has a reputation to keep, but he was sure the red head knew it as well as the dragon did. When Cale had him leave the room and Choi Han entered shortly thereafter, he was rather confused and the slightest bit upset.
So, he slightly eavesdropped. Only a little bit! He couldn’t hear what they were saying, though, as much as he strained his ears. They had been talking in hushed voices for the most part, though he was able to catch a few words here and there. It was mostly his human talking, though. Choi Han wasn't saying much.
Then, he was startled out of his focused stupor when he heard a loud crash. He was tempted to run in there (or fly?) but decided against it. It was probably Choi Han, and Choi Han would never hurt his weak human.
Their voices got slightly louder. I’m not supposed to be hearing this. They were talking something about…The test the weak human took? He began to be able to pick out more and more of what they were saying through the door.
“Does your life mean nothing to you?!”
What? What is he talking about? Raon was beginning to get nervous. The two on the other side of the door got quiet again. Human, what is he talking about?
Raon wasn’t an idiot. He could connect the dots.
He flew away as soon as he could hear Choi Han approaching the door. While Raon wanted to be by Cale’s side as soon as Choi Han left, he thought the human would want some space after such a seemingly heated discussion.
Besides, he had to do some digging of his own.
The next six days went by fast. He stuck close to Cale, reluctant to leave his side after what he heard. The dragon was still trying to figure out exactly what it was about, and he had a feeling he must’ve been getting somewhere.
The human didn’t talk much to Choi Han after that. Not as much as he used to, in any case. Raon could guess why pretty easily. There were a few times when Cale would whisper something to Choi Han. Raon was never close enough to hear, but the swordmaster would hold a terribly sad look in his eyes for several minutes afterwards, staring into the human’s back.
Am I being too nosy? Raon had been thinking about this a lot. What if it’s really none of my business?
No. The human’s business is my business, too. That’d been decided from the moment Cale saved him in his darkest times. I swear I’ll find out exactly what’s going on.
Well, there were several things that Raon could connect. The parts of Choi Han’s and Cale’s fight that the young dragon heard had only started to tie them together.
The argument, our sudden revival, Cale’s bad health… Raon felt anxious, like he didn’t want to think this next thought. Doing so would make it real. He almost wanted to live in ignorance. They say ignorance is bliss, after all, and there could be merit behind that statement. But this was Cale he was talking about. This all ties back to that weak human. Raon’s weak human.
They’re all connected. Curiosity killed the cat, they say, and Raon’s not entirely sure there’s going to be any satisfaction to bring it back this time.
There were many conclusions to be drawn from that one thought. Raon didn’t know if he wanted to draw them. Did he even need to?
Raon flew into Cale’s room, laying himself next to Cale on the bed. The human subconsciously began to run his hand across Raon’s head, working on something else at the same time. Work for the crown prince, the dragon assumed.
“Hey, human.” Raon spoke up after a few moments of silence.
“Hmm?” Cale hummed, turning his attention away from his work.
“You… You’ll never leave me, right?” Raon felt uneasy asking this. What if the human just said he was going to die within the next 24 hours, and Raon would never see him again?”
Cale tapped his finger on the piece of paper he’d now abandoned. “Well, there may come a time when I’ll be forced to leave you.” The human hesitated, and Raon latched onto that hesitation like a hook catching a fish. “But that won’t be for a long time, not until you’re much older.”
Raon looked up at Cale. There was sorrow behind the human’s smile. He nodded anyway.
“Of course you won’t.”
You’re a liar, human.
-
Alberu tapped his desk with his finger impatiently, leaning his head on his hand. He’d been busy ever since the White Star died, with little room for rest. The crown prince barely even slept. He rubbed his sleepy and unfocused eyes. It was the middle of the night, but the palace was rather awake, all things considered.
“When was the last time you slept?” The familiar voice came from ahead of him. It was Cale, his stupid sworn brother. He didn’t look much better than Alberu himself, if not worse.
“Not important.” Alberu said, brushing off Cale’s minimal concern. “When did you get here, anyway?”
“Just now.” Cale sat on the couch in Alberu’s office, making himself rather comfy. He crossed his legs and leaned against the arm of the couch. “You might want to check the security of your palace. It was surprisingly easy to get here.”
“You don’t think the knights just let you through because you’re Young Master Silver Shield?” Alberu rolled his eyes. “What did you need?”
“Mm, not much.” Cale sighed. “I talked to Choi Han, just thought I’d let you know.”
Ah, now that had Alberu’s interest peaked. He’d known Cale was reluctant to let anyone else know, since the more people knew, then the more mouths that could blabber. But he decided, Alberu supposed, that Choi Han was trustworthy enough to keep that secret. I don’t know why he wouldn’t be, Alberu lamented, but it’s none of my business.
“So, what’d he say?” Seeing Cale’s dreadful expression, Alberu could easily guess it didn’t go well. “I guess not everyone is gonna take it so easily. Understandably so, I think I’m just a special case.”
Adaptability was Alberu’s specialty. He wasn’t entirely surprised when he found out Cale made a deal with the bastard of a God, but it was still pretty rattling. But he adapted to the situation quickly. What’s done is done, he thought, what matters is what can be done next. The deal wasn’t exactly reversible, anyways.
“He broke my wall, Hyung-nim.” Cale groaned. “He yelled and broke my wall.”
“Your fault, really.” Alberu stated as a matter-of-fact.
“That’s fair, but what did my wall ever do to deserve such treatment?” Cale sighed. “I can understand it, though. I guess I was too nonchalant about it, or something. I don’t know, I can never understand what goes through those people’s minds.”
They practically worship you like a God, Alberu internally sighed. But I can also see where they’re coming from.
Everyone but Cale knew how valuable of a person he was. It was a common fact, really. It was entirely because of the man that the Roan Kingdom was able to come out of the war unscathed, more powerful, even. They were now the most powerful kingdom in the Western Continent, on top of being the oldest. Who would dare to mess with them now?
But all that was caused by Cale. His interference through out the entire continent, as well as the Eastern Continent, was part of what rose their reputation through the ceiling. The Roan Kingdom gave birth to such a hero.
Alberu knew that wasn’t all there was to it. Cale wasn’t trying to save the world for the world, but he saved the world for himself. After all, World Peace was (apparently) required for the man to be able to live the life of a slacker. He’d mentioned it before, as Alberu remembered.
With the eventual loss of the “hero,” other kingdoms and countries could become overconfident. That was part of why he’d been so busy recently, because he needed to prepare to show the world that they were still strong even without such a powerful commander.
He also knew that, without Cale’s group entirely keeping the bastards in check, the nobles that weren’t wholly loyal to the throne would begin to show their true colors. Especially those supporting the second and third princes.
Alberu also needed to prepare to ascend the throne. He had taken over all of the duties of a king, at His Majesty’s behest, but he wasn’t officially crowned as of yet. That was supposed to happen before Cale’s passing, though, so he wasn’t too worried about it. A change of rulers during the loss of such an influential figure would cause more unrest within the kingdom.
“Sorry, Hyung. It’s my fault you’re so busy, isn’t it?” Cale apologized. Alberu knew, however, that it wasn’t entirely sincere.
“You bastard. If you were really sorry, then you wouldn’t have made that stupid deal.” Alberu sighed. “I’m gonna hold that over your head even after you’re dead.” Cale could do nothing but shrug, since the crown prince wasn’t entirely wrong.
He really is not sorry at all.
Alberu knew that Cale wouldn’t come to regret that deal. Until, probably, he died. Urgh, I’ve got to stop thinking about that. Good thoughts, Alberu Crossman, good thoughts.
People yearned for life the most the moments before they die. He’d heard it plenty of times. Knights who swear they’re ready to give up their life will cry when they’re dying, saying I want to live. It was natural. It was normal. Alberu was sure that Cale would feel the same. Alberu, himself, had pleaded to the world to let him live. His own pleads were awarded every time, but no amount of prayers could save Cale now.
While Cale acted normal on the outside, more light-hearted, even, he was sure that that didn’t reflect what was going on in his head. No, he was sure that Cale was in even more turmoil than anyone else. While he didn’t regret his decision, having to cope with the thought that this is real must be especially chaotic.
He saw Cale shift, looking vaguely uncomfortable. Oops, I’ve been staring at him. “Was there anything else you needed to tell me?”
“Well, I don’t think this is as important,” Cale noted, “but I think Raon may be catching on.”
Not as important, my ass. Alberu groaned internally. There goes my will to live. Goodbye, my precious kingdom that I’ve worked so hard for.
“How?”
Cale chewed his lip. “If I had to guess, he was probably eavesdropping when I had my discussion with Choi Han.” He tapped his leg with his finger as he talked. “He’s been acting weird since then, but I don’t think he heard everything.”
Yeah, Alberu thought, because if he did then I think something would have exploded already.
Cale suddenly got a sad expression on his face, looking wistfully away from where Alberu was sitting. “He asked if I’d ever leave him.” He stopped tapping his leg. “I lied.”
And wasn’t that just heartbreaking? The story of the young dragon who would go on to live for another thousand years and his human, to whom he was very attached, who would only live to see another few months, would have made a great tragedy in a theater.
But this is real life, not some stupid play. He sighed, rubbing at his eyes once again. Shit, if only it were some play or book or whatever.
There was a burning question in Alberu’s mind, though. It’d been sitting there since Cale told him that he was planning to feign ignorance when questioned. He’d meant to ask it sooner, but it’d slipped his mind, what with all the work to be done around the kingdom.
“When do you plan on telling them?” Alberu swallowed a lump in his throat. If at all, given his disposition.
The silence was more of an answer than anything. The way Cale guiltily looked away said everything Alberu needed to know. “You- You’re planning on just letting it be? Are you serious?”
He dragged a hand down his face, looking very princely as he did so. “You’re just going to let them wake up one day to find you gone? No warning or nothing?”
Cale was silent.
“Well. You do you, I guess. I don’t understand why you’re planning on doing it like that, but…” Alberu sighed, suddenly feeling twenty times more exhausted than he had previously. “I’m sure you have a reason. You normally do.”
“Then..” Cale stood up and awkwardly gestured toward the door. “I’ll be leaving now.” It was an awkward place to leave the conversation, but Alberu supposed there wasn’t much to be spoken about, anyway.
“Yeah, get outta here.” Alberu jerked a thumb towards the door. “I need to get some sleep for once.”
“Goodnight.”
Alberu listened to the door click before resting his head on his desk. The situation truly was like some great tragedy. A man who gives up his life for his friends and doesn’t know how to even tell them he’s going to die. A man who plans on dying alone even though he could choose to be surrounded by the people he loves when he goes.
Alberu wasn’t sure what was worse. To be by your loved one’s side as he passes or to be in the room next door, completely unaware as it happens. Both were, in Alberu’s opinion, cruel.
He didn’t understand Cale’s decision and he didn’t think he ever would, but he supposed that the man knew what was best for him.
-
Cale didn’t entirely feel much different as the days passed. A month in, he was beginning to feel a lot more nervous than before. He was a little weaker, he could say, but that was to be expected. It wasn’t enough to hinder him in his day to day activities, and it wasn’t enough for anyone else to be really concerned.
Choi Han had apologized to him. Cale didn’t say anything because he didn't know what to say. He wasn't entirely in the right either, but his words were lost to him. That’d almost never happened before. He could have said anything in response, but he just stood there feeling lost.
Maybe this is getting to me. Cale thought, searching for any answer. I need to get my head back in the game.
For the most part, in terms of paperwork, most of the restorative work had been finished. Alberu wouldn't allow him to do much more beyond that, so he found himself feeling rather sluggish and bored.
So much for having an orchard, he thought numbly, I don’t think I’ll be around long enough to see any results. Sorry, Team Leader.
There wasn't much he wanted to do before passing. It wasn’t like he had a bucket list or anything, not that he’d had the time to make one in the first place, but his plan after the war was to have a small orchard with Choi Han and the kids and laze around for the years that were to come.
It was a great plan. A brilliant plan, even. He’d been looking forward to it. A moment’s day of rest was something he rarely got either here or on Earth. However, with his approaching death day, there had been several preparations that needed to be made. To some extent, he’d been helping Alberu with those preparations, but no one knew the kingdom as well as the crown prince did. Soon enough, he had become relatively useless with that.
Now that there was nothing for him to do, he was feeling rather restless. He couldn't just start his orchard now, he didn't know if he could trust Choi Han and Raon to not kill it right after he was gone. On would probably be able to keep it alive, but his hopes weren't exactly high in the first place. Traveling was tiring and pointless as he had nowhere to go. He didn’t feel like visiting Ron and Beacrox in the Eastern Continent, where they began to reestablish the Molan household.
He rolled around on the marble floor, groaning. It was hot outside, but the marble flooring felt cold and refreshing. He was so bored . Normally he would have been fine being bored, but it was so utterly agonizing.
Am I really gonna do nothing in my last two months of life?
It felt like a waste, but he didn't really feel like starting an uprising in some unsuspecting kingdom or fighting an all powerful evil that's planning on taking over the world. There weren't really any kingdoms to overthrow or any all powerful evils to fight, anyway.
He stared at the ceiling apathetically. He was unsure if minutes or even hours had passed, wasn’t sure if he was blinking or even breathing properly. Was this really what he’d wanted his whole life? He closed his eyes, finding the ceiling boring as well.
Cale, who’d spent the past two years (and even before that, as Kim Rok Soo) fighting against something at all times, was not used to inaction. He was used to indifference but not inaction. The man was indifferent about most things, really, but was almost never inactive for longer than a week.
The past month, to Cale, was longer than anything imaginable. He wondered, for a moment, if this is what it felt like to be almost frozen in time, with time slowly creeping forward. Seconds passed like minutes, and hours passed like days. Perhaps he was, somehow, passing through whatever 80-something years he was supposed to have left within only three months.
It icked him. It truly did. He felt worse than trash. He almost regretted asking for three months and not less.
Well, no point in agonizing over it now . Cale sighed regretfully. Besides, I don't want to think too hard about that.
Those thoughts were scary to Cale, in all truth. When he’d previously wondered if he would go insane like that man who had the ability to tell when people would die, that didn’t mean he wanted to go insane. Yet here he was, having the thoughts of someone clearly on the verge of going bonkers.
I probably would have regretted it if I asked for any less time, Cale told himself firmly, as if to set it in stone. More time is better .
He opened his eyes once again.
“Cale-nim, I’ve been calling your name for a while,” Choi Han said, kneeling over Cale and looking at him with the most worried expression he’d seen in some time. “Are you okay?”
Cale blinked at Choi Han for a few seconds, processing the words. “Yes, I’m fine. Just worried my brain is turning to mush.”
The swordmaster sighed. In relief or some weird form of disappointment, he wasn't sure.
“I haven't seen you all day, so I got a bit worried.” Choi Han stood up. Cale sat up, but didn't bother to stand at the moment. “Did I interrupt you?”
Cale wasn't entirely sure what he was doing that Choi Han could have interrupted. He also wondered what the man thought he was doing. “No, rather,” Cale grunted as he stretched his limbs, getting up from the floor. “I’m glad you interrupted me. I was going down a weird mental rabbit hole.”
He hummed. “Or maybe I was just bored. I don’t know.” He felt slightly embarrassed, but refused to show anything of the sort. “Where are the others?”
“They’re outside.” Choi Han stated thoughtfully. “Raon came in here a short bit ago and saw you lying on the floor, and came to get me. Not sure why, though.”
Cale stretched his back, feeling satisfied when he heard several pops. “I’ll go ahead and cook something. It’s getting late, anyway.”
“You don’t need to-” Choi Han began, but was interrupted when Cale raised up his hand.
“I need to do something, anyway. I’m not a bad cook, don’t worry.” Cale reassured, smiling.
-
Choi Han never thought much about what it would feel like to die. He didn’t really have time, even across the several decades he’d been alive. After all, wouldn’t it be a death flag to wonder about dying when all one is trying to do is survive? So no, he’d never thought much about dying.
Strangely enough, he didn’t think he’d ever know. He didn’t exactly remember how he’d died or how it felt. He remembered the moments before it, but anything after that and before he suddenly woke up feeling very much alive was blurry. He knew he died, of course, he just didn’t know how.
He didn’t know if that was a curse or a blessing. A blessing, most likely. If he had remembered it, it would just be one more thing on his already very long list of traumas.
Above all, Choi Han hoped Raon didn’t remember his own death. That dragon, too, was traumatized by his youth. Not that he was out of his youth, anyway. Raon was still very young, especially in comparison to other dragons. It was like comparing an 8 month-old baby to a 100 year-old man.
So if Raon had to remember his own death on top of everything else that was done to him while Choi Han couldn’t, he’d think that would be especially cruel.
Every time Choi Han looked at Cale or Raon or anyone else who’d died in battle, only to return, he felt an overwhelming sense of guilt. If only I’d done better, he’d think, then things wouldn’t have turned out like this. If one thought about it hard enough, wasn’t the situation truly something straight out of a tragic book? If Choi Han was better, then maybe none of them would have had to die.
Maybe Cale would’ve been able to live out his years, instead of feeling the need to sacrifice himself. They could have started their orchard by now, instead of waiting in dreadful anticipation, counting down the days until the one who’d saved them would die himself. It was a horrible thing, truly. A horrible fate for someone who’d done nothing but give to the world.
Not all heroes have happy endings. As a matter of fact, they rarely ever do. Choi Han had been hoping Cale was an exception, though. That was nothing but a fleeting dream in the end.
The man would be reduced to nothing but a legacy and a picture on the mantelpiece.
-
1 more day.
Cale had eyebags larger than the moon, he was sure. He didn’t feel very inclined to look in the mirror, out of fear that he’d look like an utter mess, but he was sure they were there.
1 day to do what I need to get done.
Not that there was anything to do, anyway. He’d lost plenty of sleep because of this stupid deal he made. Despite that, he didn’t have much energy to do much at all. It was probably all the pent-up exhaustion catching up to him after the war. It felt truly wasteful.
He knew people were worried. He’d pretty much disappeared from the eyes of the public, after being a constant for the people. It’d been pretty sudden, too. Alberu had been forced to cover that up, saying to give the man a break. He’d pretty much fought a war on his own, after all.
The press bought it, but barely. They still pressed the crown prince, now King, for answers every now and then.
Alberu’s coronation had been a large ordeal. He’d swept favor with the public and the nobles by a landslide, the other two princes didn’t stand a chance against him. Cale’s connections with the crown prince had played a huge role in it.
For the nobles, Cale was sure, it was mostly out of greed. If they supported Alberu, then that could possibly land them connections with Cale, and from then, connections with several very talented individuals that they would love to get their grubby hands on. Unfortunately for them, however, that would never happen.
Choi Han and Mary, like Cale, barely showed their faces in public. Raon, On, and Hong, of course, went wherever Cale and Choi Han were. Rosalyn was too busy preparing to create a new Mage Tower to deal with any other affairs within the Western Continent. Cale himself rarely heard from the mage.
Alberu had told Cale that he didn’t have to come to the coronation, but Cale was insistent.
“Not like I have much to do anyways,” he’d said, smiling bitterly. Alberu couldn’t refute that. After all, he’d pretty much slowly taken over any work Cale could have done.
So Cale had shown up anyway. He wasn’t wearing anything special, just normal noble’s garb. After all, it wasn’t like he was a Commander anymore. Despite that, he still felt many eyes on him, making him feel extraordinarily uncomfortable. He almost regretted going, but he steeled himself because he wanted to be there for his Hyung.
It paid off. Seeing Alberu so proud of himself gave Cale a sense of satisfaction. The quarter dark elf had been so doubtful of his right to ascend the throne, but Cale knew for a fact that the man was meant to be there. He was meant to hold that spot, meant to take the throne.
Anyone else would have felt wrong. Alberu had overwhelming support from the public at all levels of the hierarchy, but the same couldn’t be said for the second and third prince. Of course, they still had their supporters, but their strength ended up being very weak in the end.
It was good.
I wish I could live to see his reign, Cale frowned, I’m sure he’ll do good for the kingdom.
Cale had no doubt that Alberu would end up being one of the Roan Kingdom’s greatest monarchs. The man held pride for his kingdom like no one else did. With the Mogoru Empire down, and with the Roan Kingdom’s rise in power, there was little room for uncertainty that this kingdom would be the Western Continent’s new powerhouse.
I really wish I could live to see that, he lamented.
Cale could still hear the cheers from when Alberu was crowned as King. He’d recorded those moments, although his memory wouldn’t be of much use for very long. He still wanted to be able to remember it for the rest of his life.
There had been times when he’d wondered Am I doing the right thing? All of those hesitations had been dispelled with that one sight. He’d decided right then and there that yes , he made all the right choices. It was a great burden off his chest.
He didn’t have many regrets. He didn’t have any untied ends, either.
Well, that was a lie, actually. Cale still hadn’t peeped a word of his situation to anyone else. He wanted to keep them in the dark out of fear they’d make a ruckus out of it. More than anything else, he wanted some of his last days to hold some semblance of normalcy. Even with just Choi Han and Eruhaben around constantly, he was treated like he could fall apart with the smallest breeze.
Eruhaben didn’t really act like this so much. He knew what Cale wanted, even if he didn’t like it. He would just click his tongue, shaking his head at Cale, muttering poor bastard under his breath. Choi Han, however, sometimes acted like a mother sending her child off to college. He supposed that added some lightness to the pretty dark situation, though Choi Han had gotten upset when Cale mentioned it to him.
Moonlight shone through the small gap in the curtains. It was dark outside, given it was the middle of the night. Cale was feeling rather lethargic as he laid in bed, eyes fixed to the ceiling.
Tomorrow will be his last day. It felt strange. He was rather healthy, all things considered. All in all, while the man did look like someone who hadn’t slept in the past 10 years, he certainly didn’t look like someone who was going to die within the next 24 hours.
Will it hurt?
It was a weird question. It wouldn’t matter anyway, but Cale was curious nonetheless. He almost wanted to ask Choi Han what dying felt like, but it would’ve been an insensitive question toward a sensitive topic. He’d brushed off the idea of asking pretty fast, but he was curious nonetheless.
The moon was high in the sky when Cale fell asleep.
-
When Cale woke up, he was surprised by how bright it was. He opened the windows, a light breeze drifting in. He breathed in the morning air. It felt almost morbid doing so, knowing it’d be the last time. He took in the scenery outside. It was slightly warm out, with some white clouds standing out against the blue sky.
It was nice out. Cale was glad it was so nice out.
There was a knock at the door. “May I come in?”
When Cale gave the affirmative, Choi Han awkwardly shuffled in. He looked somber, but tried not to let it show on his face. He couldn’t really hide it that well, though. He quietly shut the door behind him.
“Are you sure you don’t want…?” Choi Han didn’t need to finish his sentence. Cale knew what he was asking. While dying in comfort would certainly be easier, theoretically, he didn’t really want to be that kind of burden.
Cale had watched people die. He’d held them in his arms as they died. To him, it hurt a lot more than not being there when they pass. There’s a sense of helplessness that comes with watching a loved one die, and he didn’t want to force that upon anyone else.
“...Yeah. I’m sure.” Cale swallowed the lump of emotions that rose in his throat. It was a hard decision, one normally not made easily. Choi Han looked reluctant. Cale could do nothing but try to smile. There was a nice breeze that fell upon his face, ruffling his hair slightly.
With this, I can die without regrets.
Die or death were like taboo words among them. Saying them would make the situation settle in more, and none of them really wanted to think about it more than necessary. But this was his last day, so surely..
Something wet slid down his cheek. Cale lifted a trembling hand to touch whatever it was.
Ah. What is this?
…Why am I crying? I’m not sad.
Choi Han could do nothing but stare. More tears fell down from Cale’s eyes, and the man laughed almost hysterically. It was quiet yet hysterical.
“Ah, that’s what it is.” Cale smiled, then looked at the swordmaster with teary eyes. Choi Han could do nothing but gape. “Choi Han, I’m scared.”
The words hit Choi Han like a truck. It was hard to associate Cale and Fear with each other. Cale, after all, had faced every problem with composure, a calculative expression on his face. Choi Han couldn’t remember Kim Rok Soo being scared in Choi Jung Soo’s memories at all.
It was unnerving. Logically, of course Cale wouldn’t be mentally well. He’s lived with the fact that he’ll die for the past three months, counting down the days. But for Choi Han, who’d never seen Cale with this kind of expression, it had him feeling frozen in place and helpless.
“I’m sorry you have to see me like this,” Cale laughed sadly, wiping at his eyes. He intertwined his hands with each other. “I’m putting you in a rough position. Eruhaben-nim and Alberu, too.”
“I didn’t want to be sad today.” Cale said. “It’d just seem like a waste. I’m not one for sentimental stuff like this.”
I don’t want to die.
He didn’t want to admit it to himself, but he was clinging onto life so desperately. Cale would never regret the decision he made, but he’d regret everything else. He’d regret not being able to watch Raon grow, not being able to see Alberu rule. He’d never be able to see Basen become the Duke, or Lily become a knight. He wouldn’t be able to see On or Hong get an education. He’d die before Eruhaben, who was supposed to die over a year ago.
It was cruel, yet he’d done this to himself. How dare he pity himself for something that he caused?
No, he’d never regret bringing everyone back. All he’d regret would be the things he’d miss.
God, I’m pathetic.
That night, Cale Henituse would go to sleep and not wake up again. The news would strike the kingdom like a match and spread like wildfire, sending the kingdom into a deep sorrow for days afterward.
On a rainy day, a funeral was held. It was small, as per the wishes of Eruhaben, and none would have dared go against a dragon. The king attended, as well as many rulers of different kingdoms. Litana, Toonka, and several others whose lives Cale had influenced were there. The continent would feel the sorrow of a young dragon for days on end.
The swordmaster Choi Han would disappear into the Forest of Darkness along with several others. They kept in contact with King Alberu Crossman, but there was no other way to get in touch without entering the forbidden region.
A young black dragon lays by a lone tombstone, decorated with flowers and gifts. Incense is lit as the dragon lays in silence.
The tombstone is clearly well-kept. There’s not a bit of dust or dirt on it, as if it were brand new. Whoever is laid in the ground must have been well-loved for this amount of care and affection.
There are words inscribed on the tombstone, in the Western Continent’s official language.
Here lies Cale Henituse
XXXX-XXXX
A hero and a commander, a savior and a friend.
May the bards sing your tales for years to come.
Below it, in shaky Korean letters, it reads:
See you later, Rok Soo-nim.