Archive of Our Own ^beta

Tay was feeling a lot of different emotions, it was a bit of everything really. He was rather nervous, as nervous as one can get at the prospect of meeting someone new, even with the big fancy and important lifestyle that he led. He had to make sure to present himself from his best side after all, no matter the occasion.

But he was also terrified. Not for the usual reasons, be it that working in the shady field that they did meant encountering tortured and highly dangerous souls on the daily. He’d like to believe there was a bit of fear mingled with the respect other people had towards him as well.

As well as feeling happy. Happy at how this meeting could manifest something he had been hoping for his best friend for a long, long time. Maybe that was also why he was even feeling a bit giddy.

Because he was about to meet the mystery boyfriend Kinn has been hiding from not just him, but it seemed like everyone else as well, for a while now. The same boyfriend that Kinn had been so secretive about for months on end, but also couldn’t stop talking about the second the cat was out of the bag.

He hadn’t seen the other that happy and lost in daydreams in a while. Years even.

And that was also what had him so terrified. He was worried for one of his closest friends, someone he considers as close as family.

Because Kinn’s track record hadn’t been great up until that point. Granted, he was only ever in one serious long-term relationship. But nothing could’ve prepared Tay for the devastation that would bring onto the other’s life.

It had started in university, this thing with Tawan.

The moment he entered the lecture hall during the first day back in second year and saw his best friend talking all wide eyed and bashful to a new face that had taken up the seat he himself would’ve normally been in, he knew Kinn had it bad. Because although Kinn didn’t really do relationships, wasn’t really afforded to with how life was set out for him, he was a romantic at heart.

No matter how hard they tried to train it out of him, or even beat it out of him, he’d always had a more caring side to him.

And especially as a teenage and a young adult, it still showed.

His best friend had a soft heart. And with who they were, it was inevitable that someone would rip it out and shred it into tiny pieces at some point. Leave nothing but a hollow space in its place.

He would be lying if he said he knew from the very first time he saw Tawan what crushing betrayal they had coming their way, but there was something off-putting pretty much from the start, something that kept Tay in constant lookout for signs. What signs, he didn’t even know himself to begin with.

At first, he blamed it on some kind of unconscious jealousy that he might have been feeling.

But then again, he was in a ‘happy’ relationship (he was rather naive back then, something he still struggled with now concerning what him and Time have). It was true that when Tawan had arrived, his time with his best friend was cut a bit short, Tawan not too fond either of hanging out with Kinn’s friends outside of university and later the occasional joined outings and lunches/dinners.

Still, his friend was happy, which is all Tay had ever wanted for the other.

Yet, that bad gut feeling never seemed to go away, not even after the couple stayed together way past university and moved into a much more serious stage of their relationship.

Tawan was never openly malicious to anyone.

He acted his part; put his hand in the crock of Kinn’s arm whenever they were at a social gathering, smiled politely at everyone and made small talk, he let out shy little laughs when people would ask him and Kinn about plans for their future, maybe even involving kids. He’d let Kinn put his arm around him and even leaned into the touch, or squeeze back when Kinn took his hand into his own for everyone to see, showing everyone how gone his best friend was for his lover and how he wasn’t afraid to make it known.

But there was always something about Tawan’s eyes, that told an entirely different story.

Because there were these moments.

Moments, in which the slanting of his eyes at a joke being told wasn’t in good humour but showed signs of something predatory.

Or when the supposedly playful eye rolls at Kinn’s more cheesy declarations of love almost tipped over into the territory of genuine annoyance.

And at rare times, where Tay can only assume in retrospect that some of that well-crafted mask had started to slip off, especially towards the end of the expiration date for the couple, the way the other looked at Kinn and everyone he loved and cared for screamed of absolute disgust. Maybe even of murder.

As these little warning signs became more apparent to him, Tay tried to gently give his friend little nudges here and there.

He never full-out stated that he thought Tawan could potentially be dangerous, at least not at the beginning stages, where he himself wasn’t even sure if it wasn’t just his own caring nature going overboard.

And later on, when a real feeling of dread started to settle within him and more and more things about his best friend’s boyfriend just weren’t adding up anymore, Tawan made sure to isolate Kinn from his friends and family, sensing that the cracks were beginning to show and they were picking up on it.

After all, aside from himself, Khun, who also had a hard time warming up to his brother’s partner, was sensing something conniving inside the other as well. And he was way more vocal about his suspicions, something that Kinn, as blinded by love and the usual ridiculous and over the top nature of his older brother as he was, simply shrugged off for the time being.

It was Big, at the end, who brought devastating news for Kinn, seemingly after doing some digging of his own when he also felt something off bout his boss’ other half.

Not only had Tawan been selling information to outsiders, but it was also the Minor Family of all possible culprits that had a hand in the whole ordeal.

Things had always been tense between the two families, and there had been this weird dynamic between Kinn and his cousin Vegas since he could remember. It was almost like the other resented Kinn’s mere existence, something that Kinn learned to adapt to himself after one too many assassination attempts on his life.

Thus this betrayal didn’t come as a surprise, but it just further widened the already gaping wound that was Kinn’s estranged relationship with the other family .

But these things, Kinn was already used to.

He knew what kind of people the other family were. And even though Kinn had been blind to Tawan’s doings up until that point, having been part of the underground world and knowing what length desperate people would go to, the betrayal by someone he loved was something he knew to expect. He was even willing to give the other the benefit of the doubt.

Maybe he had gotten caught up in some shady business somewhere along the line and felt like he couldn’t tell Kinn about it. Maybe Tawan himself didn’t even fully grasp the severity of his actions and was fed lies to. Maybe it was a money thing, something that led to a slip of judgment in a moment of weakness.

Kinn was ready to work through it with the other, only if he knew the other still loved him the same. That what they had was real, something to fight for, even against everything that he had been taught to believe about betrayal and letting yourself be vulnerable.

But that would be what broke him from within. Because Tawan didn’t love him anymore. In fact, he had never loved him to begin with. He was the wrong Theerapanyakul before they had even come eye to eye for the first time. And the reason for the betrayal? For Love. But a different kind. Love that was played up as an act for Kinn and was intended for his cousin from the very beginning.

It was that revelation, seeing those eyes for what they truly were, that indifference, the way his lover’s eyes were mocking him. The disgust they were portraying at the simple implication that he might have loved Kinn at some point in all those years of partnership, even just for a moment. Seeing everything that other people had been able to pick up on, but he was utterly blind to. That was what finally made him pull the trigger.

With the way Kinn had immediately shut himself off and put his complete focus entirely on his work, it might not have seemed as emotionally traumatising and scaring for outsiders peering in. Just by what was being told around about the stoic Theerapanyakul Heir and the cold-blooded way in which he had murdered his own love after the fact, one might have suggested the other was rather indifferent to the events that had taken place.

But Tay was there. Had been in the room when Kinn had gotten the call confirming his own suspicions and fears. Had followed his friend down to the underground cells in the compound. Saw the trembling of the other’s hand as he put the arm holding the now smoking gun back down. And he saw the Kinn he had known for most of his life transform into a mere shell of himself in front of his own eyes.

Nothing was the same after that. Tay obviously loved and cared for his best friend the same as before, maybe even more so now. And he knew that the other felt the same. But he couldn’t show it anymore. Didn’t know how to. Couldn’t feel safe in doing so, not even with the people he trusted the most up until that point, not for a long time at least. It wasn’t until fairly recent that Tay saw glimpses of the old Kinn resurfacing, slowly but surely.

At first, he thought it was because of something work related, but he was happy, nonetheless. Even more happy, when it seemed to last for a while. Long enough, that there had to be something more going on. There had to be someone. And that was where relief quickly turned into caution and a feeling of dread. Dread at the thought of a repeat. This couldn’t be happening again.

He had wanted his friend to find a way to move on. And he had hoped he’d find it in his heart one day to even open himself up to another person’s love again. But now that it seemed like that was what was happening, he couldn’t help the little whispers of worry to find their way back inside his head.

Because at the end of the day, in their business, you could barely even trust your own family. Something that the numerous scars from failed attempts to his life on Kinn’s body were physical proof of.

When the other, after repeated nagging, had opened up about what had him glued to his phone more often than not, the tension in his shoulders just that little bit less prominent, and a soft smile painted on his face, as if in daydreams, when he thought nobody was watching, Tay’s own response had been nothing less than supportive.

Because seeing the way the other’s eyes had started to light up at the mention of this new person in his life had made the potential devastation that could follow almost worth it.

His best friend had his youthful sparkle back. Had him bashful with the little information he gave Tay and Time about this mystery man.

But that was another thing that promptly shifted his own mood. Kinn, even as he started to share a bit more about what was going on in his own life, didn’t actually provide them with much of any insight on his new lover.

The only thing the other man had let slip, before his hard mafia boss persona eventually caught up with him again that was, was that they had been dating for a good few months, but they had known each other for a bit longer than that since their paths kept crossing during work hours. The other was a few years younger than Kinn, but like the man himself had to grow up way faster than other people his age, as the responsibility for the well-being of his family rested on his shoulders. That was something, that the two of them had bonded over immediately, apparently. Kinn had also mentioned he often stayed over at the other’s place and felt at home there, maybe even more so than at the compound.

This made it glaringly clear that the person Kinn was seeing wasn’t just somewhat involved in their business, but someone that new their way around the underground world. And that was what was terrifying. Tay prayed to whatever higher power there was that this wouldn’t be another Tawan.

Now, they were on their way to finally meet this person.

Kinn had only told them that they were meeting up somewhere for a drink. For other people day drinking at two in the afternoon must be a harrowing concept, but it was common for the likes of them. You drink whenever you can and as often you can to supress the horrible memories of blood and death that follow you around whenever you aren’t off your rockers or close your eyes at night. So the prospect of going to some kind of high-end bar or even one of their own clubs wasn’t anything unusual for Tay.

But what had his eyebrows going high up his forehead was the neon pink “coffee to-go” sign he was greeted by as he and his own boyfriend stepped out of the car, following their friend.

There were small round tables with two or three low wooden stools each left and right from the entrance to the building. All kinds of plants were decorating the way to and around the shop, and even more colourful signs adored the mostly glass front wall, giving an open view of what the inside looked like. All of it was a big contrast to the in-comparison mute looking office buildings and residences surrounding this establishment. It drew one’s eyes immediately to it.

“Eh Kinn,” Tay stepped up to the other, who had given a nod of acknowledgment to the handful of bodyguards they had brough with them to keep close by and secure the surrounding area.

“Are you sure we’re at the right address-“

But before he could even finish, his friend had already started moving towards the entrance with sure steps. Someone was in a hurry.

“Come on, we gotta go and secure a table. We got lucky that we arrived just at the end of rush hour. But someone might still snatch away the best seats!”

Tay’s mouth fell open a little bit as he tried to catch up with Kinn’s fast steps, the other seemingly flying over the ground like a child about to enter a toy store. This was the same man that had just led and successfully finished final negotiations with a drug cartel oversees not even a mere twenty minutes ago.

Kinn was like a teenager about to see their Idol on stage for the first time, and Tay didn’t yet know how to feel about that. He only knew that this felt oddly familiar. And that left a bitter-sweet taste in his mouth.

Catching up with Kinn wasn’t as difficult anymore after both Tay and Time had also finally entered the coffee shop as there was still a sizable line in front of the registers, with people getting their last doses of caffeine in before heading back after lunch break for the second half of their workday.

It did seem like the crowed of people was getting smaller in a fairly short amount of time as the person behind the cash register, whom he assumed was one of the barristers working, hurried left and right on quick feet and with quicker hands to see after the orders he had already taken on. But they’d still have to wait a bit until it was their turn.

It wasn’t until a few minutes later, filled with Kinn squirming around beside him and playing with the watch on his wrist in anticipation, that the barrister turned around for long enough to get the next few orders going and to notice their own little group at the back of the line.

A wide smile formed on his lips, an extra sparkle in his eyes as he met Kinn’s own.

Tay knew that they must’ve looked rather out of place with their expensive suits and the looming figures outside of the shop visible through the see-through walls shadowing them, but the look given to his friend from the honey skinned stranger was of a teasing nature. It was out of familiarity rather than one you would give just any peculiar looking person.

So maybe not a stranger after all.

Kinn and his mystery boyfriends must have been coming here regularly. Even the workers were already friendly with Kinn. It was rather cute.

The two friends? - acquaintance? – were pulled out of the silent conversation they were having when the rush of the last few orders finally caught up with the barrister. He held up three fingers and mouth the word coffee, followed by a little held tilt as if in question, to which Kinn answered with an enthusiastic few quick nods and one of the brightest smiles Tay had seen the other smile in a while.

There was something so purely Kinn in that smile, he didn’t think he had ever even seen one like that be directed to any of his past flames, not even he who shall not be named.

Whoever this new person was, he must’ve been extraordinary if Kinn was willing to shed off his mask this openly in a public setting for anyone and everyone to see. They must be some big name in the underground world, someone who Kinn looked up to, someone he respected and had enough faith in to be vulnerable in front of. And Tay just hoped from the bottom of his heart that this mystery person felt the same way.

As the three friends made their way towards a table at the back of the shop, Tay understood why Kinn had called them the best seats around here.

The table for four was the furthest back, but also the closest to the open backdoor garden. The view unfolding in front of them was of a rustic looking fountain, with just enough water still flowing to have the sound of dripping water reach them from where they settled down, two wooden chairs on one side and a wooden bench on the other.

There were flowers of all colours and shapes scattered around, plants growing everywhere they liked, given the impression of an unfolding of untouched nature, even though there was definitely care put into maintaining them.

A stark contrast made the brick walls surrounding and caging in the green of the garden from each side, some of the plants even growing over and alongside said walls, as if trying to bring life to even the monotone office spaces yielded from view by the concrete.

It was like a little colourful forest amidst the gray of the city life.

A beautiful sight to see.

“Makes me think of my mother. You know how much she loved gardening.” Kinn smiled one of those soft smiles he’d been harbouring almost the whole time since they’d arrived.

He sat down on one side of the bench, the other side reserved for his other half who still hadn’t shown up, leaving the two chairs to his friends. Although still a little bit wary about the way their whole presence clashes with the pureness and peacefulness surrounding them, they matched Kinn as the other took off his suit jacket and lost some of the buttons of his shirt underneath.

He looked almost at home now with how laid back his demeanour was.

“We had our first official date right here. And now it’s kinda our table, if you can even call it that. At least he always makes sure it’s free when he knows I’m coming.”

This person had them reserve a table for Kinn specifically, even for the times he was coming here alone, and when Kinn himself could just as easily get whatever seat he wanted cleared in no time? That was actually really sweet. And again, spoke for how respected this person must be have been around here.

The more Tay had a look around while they kept waiting for Kinn’s boyfriend to arrive and their drinks to come (whichever happened first), the more impressed he was by the coffee shop’s unique charm.

There were lots of different posters decorating the pastel blue walls, some related to the food and drinks sold there, but some seemingly more randomly placed. There were a lot of pictures of different models of motorcycles, some older and some newer, alongside some cut-outs from newspaper articles about either older Karate or Taekwondo tournaments, he would have to get closer to be able to really tell.

To Tay’s surprise there were even some concert posters from Wik, Kinn’s youngest brother, scattered around here and there.

It wasn’t a high-end establishment by any means, everything looked a bit worn out and vintage, one could even call it a bit chaotic and uncoordinated, but that made it so much easy to breath in, compared to the almost sterile environment they usually found themselves in. Everything was always so polished; you almost didn’t dare to touch or use any of it.

It was nowhere near as homey or lived in like where they were at now.

The aroma of fresh coffee and sweet pastry brought up the desire within him to just close his eyes and enjoy a bit of normality, something that he so rarely did. He hadn’t even realised until that very moment that this was something he deeply desired within himself. He’d have to join his friend more often on his visits.

“Porsche!”

Tay was pulled out of his daydreaming as new and much closer delicious smells made their way towards their table. Just then the barrister from earlier walked over, the full tray skilfully balanced on his hand even with the skip he has to his steps. Up close Tay could see much more of the other.

He must have been the same height as Kinn, maybe an inch or two shorter at most, but his figure much leaner than his friend’s. Even though the white t-shirt and jeans he was wearing were covered by an apron of soft yellow shade and covered by a pattern of sun flowers, the way it was tightened in the back left nothing to the imagination of how obscenely small his waist must have been.

The man was just overall undeniably attractive.

While his outfit could have been described as very simple, especially in comparison to the luxury brands decorating the bodies of everyone at the table, they gave him a youthful glow, the colours contrasting beautifully with the other’s bronze skin.

There was as certain sharpness to his honey colour eyes. Directed at them, Tay could feel the good-naturedness of the other through the pair. But he was sure they could just as easily tell a different story to those who wrong them.

Porsche seemed to wear his heart on his sleeves. Or rather in his eyes.

That seemed a little too familiar.

But before he could dwell further on that though, Porsche was already passing over the items on his tray.

“Sorry I had to keep you waiting, people love to come in even in the last few seconds of their break to satisfy their caffeine cravings.” Porsche gave them an apologetic smile. “And I didn’t wanna leave Jom to fend for himself, cause it’s only the two of us today. I had to waited until the worst of the customer rush was over to take my break. He should be fine for the next hour or so though.”

Tay wasn’t really familiar with the way “normal” service worked, especially since the people in the establishments they frequently visited were specifically trained to cater to high-society folks like themselves, but he was sure that this was a bit too friendly, even for an everyday worker-customer encounter.

But he and Kinn did seem to know each other well enough, he supposed.

And maybe his best friend hadn’t disclosed to the other who he really was or what he did for a living.

“And before you start,” Porsche crocked one of his eyebrows and waived his index finger in Kinn’s direction in warning after putting a cup of steaming coffee in front of everyone.

“I know what they feed you in that fancy mansion of yours, if that can even be counted as food. So, I made sure to bring everyone some sweets. God knows you need to stop taking this healthy eating shit this serious and start enjoying yourself more.”

Well, maybe the other did know who Kinn actually was, after all.

Tay was a bit perplex now, and he could feel the confusion radiating off Time next to him as well. Especially since he saw that the barrister had brought them four coffees and four plates of different kinds of cakes and baked goods. He was positive that Kinn had only given an order for three drinks. And his date hadn’t even shown up yet anyway.

“Baby, you know I love everything you make. But Chan is gonna have my head if he finds out I’ve been slacking off behind his back.” Kinn was looking up the other in a playful plea, a little pout on his lips for the full “puppy look” effect.

Tay had to make sure his jaw hadn’t actually fallen to the floor.

Baby?

What the hell was going on here?

“You know nobody is gonna know about your little sweet tooth if you just don’t tell them, right? I do hope you pay your guards enough for them not to snitch on you.” Porsche was hastily tying off his flour stained apron, before he took up the seat next to Kinn .

“Poor bastards have to watch you eat all of these goodies all the time, while they have to sweat their asses of in the Bangkok sun. I’ll make sure Jom brings them something cold to drink before you leave. I made that one passionfruit drink Big likes so much specifically because I knew you’d bring him with you today!”

It was only as the two shared a sweet kiss, more teeth than lips with the way they were smiling into it, that it all started to click inside of Tay’s head. They weren’t meeting up with Kinn’s partner in a coffee shop, they were meeting Kinn’s coffee shop owning partner. This wasn’t how he imagined this to go. At all.

It seemed like the couple was finally realising that they weren’t alone as they sheepishly separated from one another, but not until Kinn gave the other a final nuzzle with his nose.

“Kinn told me you’re the one who usually helps him pick out his suits, and I can now see why. You’re sense of fashion is so cool!” Porsche had reached over to poke and pull at some of the crystals scattered around Tay’s cropped deep blue silk shirt, feeling around as if they weren’t virtual strangers. “But if I’d know you’d look this fabulous, I’d put in a bit more effort. Can’t have you outshining me in my own place!”

“You know you look good whatever you wear. Even better when that’s nothing.” Kinn gave the other a suggestive eyebrow wiggle which earned him a playful weak little slap to the back of the head by his lover, the older taking the offending hand in his own to bring it to his own lips.

Kinn himself gave way to a subtle fluttering of eyes and a delicate smile as Porsche let his knuckles softly graze over his partner’s jaw while retreating his hand back to continue the conversation he was having.

“I could’ve probably gone with a shirt that hadn’t been witness to my fight with the mixer this morning.” He looks down at the small spots of red and green on his otherwise white shirt, which Tay guessed must have been from some kind of fruits.

“But maybe it’s better if I embarrass myself in front of my boyfriend’s friends from the start and just get it over with. I’m as uncoordinated and clumsy as the come, take it or leave it.” The laugh the other let out had his body collapsing slightly into Kinn’s side, the other sliding his arm around Porsche’s waist, as if second nature to the older, to keep Porsche close and steady.

Boyfriend.

His brain was still processing it, but I was all fitting in place, one by one. Kinn had gotten himself a non-mafia affiliated boyfriend. One without a filter and lots of chaotic energy to spare. Things that would normally get him killed in their world but were surprisingly reassuring qualities that made the other rather charming and pleasant to be around. At least thus far. Tay knew that first impressions could be deceiving.

“I agree with Kinn, you look great Porsche. And I don’t think you’d ever be able to catch a break here if you went all out with your look, not with how many people would flood the shop to get a look at the displayed goods.”

Count on Time to flirt with someone with their and his own boyfriend sitting within earshot. He had long since gotten over being sad about Time’s straying eyes; now it was almost more embarrassment to imagine what other people might think of Tay himself for still entertaining such a relationship. Nobody would understand how complicated all of it truly was. There were so many confusing layers to it.

Kinn’s previous soft puppy eyes took on a dangerously sharp edge as he gave his childhood friend a warning look, his hand around Porsche’s waist squeezing the flesh a bit together, but he remained surprisingly calm and collected otherwise. That was new.

Tay understood why though as he saw the calculating looks Porsche gave himself and Time, his brows formed into a tiny frown as if he was assessing the situation, before one of them pulled up as he turned towards Time to directly address him.

“Good thing I’m not for display. And even better that I know how to fight my way out of a crowd, being a black belt and whatnot.” That eyebrow raise was clearly a first and last warning, know your place or find out indicator. That look disappeared into something much more friendlier as soon as Porsche lost interest in the previous topic in favour of digging into the plate in front of him.

The last bit of tension dissolved as Porsche let out loud sounds of delight as soon as the creamy inside of whatever cake he was having made contact with his taste buds, everyone else following his lead in getting to the backed goods. Meanwhile, Porsche’s second bite made its way into Kinn’s mouth just as the older was starting to complain again about the strict dietary plan he should be following.

“Sugar has never killed anyone before!”

“Babe, bad diets are literally the number one cause for de-“

“Shush!”

Another bite was already being shoved into Kinn’s mouth, this time from his own plate and with little colourful sprinkles on top.

Kinn couldn’t even hold his own giggles back as Porsche threw his head back at the way a good chunk of that previous bite had been smeared around the other’s lips in his own struggle to force it into his boyfriend’s mouth while said boyfriend was weakly squirming away.

From Tay’s perspective, it was like watching kids have a playful food fight. And it also reminded him of those times in the past when Kinn, Time and himself would throw popcorn at one another back in university during their weekly Friday movie nights.

That connection made him strangely emotional.

Before he could lose himself again in his own thoughts and worries, he decided to check on something else he had heard Porsche say earlier.

“You mentioned something about a black belt, do you do sports professionally on the side?”

That had the couple separating again, but never enough to be further apart from one another than the width of a hair string. Kinn wasn’t ever this touchy with anyone in public, not even in front of his closest friends. Not even with Tawan when they were still going “hot and heavy”.

This was something that had caught his attention the second he saw the couple in front of him interacting. That familiarity and level of comfort with which they interacted and just existed next to one another.

“Oh no, nothing like that.” Porsche gave him a little head shake that had his bangs framing away from his forehead and giving a much clearer view of his eyes.

Good. Tay needed that to officially give his final verdict on the youngest at the table.

“Or at least not anymore? Depends in what you mean by professional.” Porsche put his fork down and cleared his throat before he starts again, the atmosphere becoming a bit more serious with it.

“When my parents were still alive, they had me take Taekwondo lessons because living in a big city like Bangkok means more places for meanies - that’s what my mom used to call them - to lurk in. I got to finish my black belt before they passed away due to a car accident when I was around fifteen years old.”

Kinn had put his own hand on top of the other’s which was resting on the table, drawing soft patterns across the youngers knuckles to calm his nerves. Just from the little downward tilt of his best friends’ lips and the sad twinkle in his eyes, Tay could tell that Kinn was already familiar with this story.

“There were some savings they’d left behind for me and my little brother, but since we weren’t too well off to begin with it definitely wasn’t gonna keep us going forever. And there was still a mortgage on the house in which we had moved into a couple years prior that needed to be paid off. My parents must have not realised who they were getting their informal loans from to help speed up the process. Or maybe they did know but didn’t have much of a choice because they needed to make us think we weren’t struggling financially as much as we actually did, I guess I won’t ever know.”

A deep sign left the youngest’s lips before he continued.

“Anyways, soon enough I had some shady people banging down our doors for money. That’s were I decided to use all the ways I had learned to kick ass and join the illegal fight rings. In hindsight the money wasn’t really worth all the bruises and cracked rips I’d come home with more often than not, but at least that’s were I got to meet our Jom over there, that goofy looking moron behind the counter.”

The little chuckled Porsche let out still sounded a bit chocked up, but it gave him enough time to let the soothing way in which Kinn was playing with the strands of hair on the back of his neck bring him back into the present reality instead of a much darker and far away past.

“Jom was also the one who introduced me to a job at a bar called Hum Bar, a walking distance away from here, were I met Yok, the woman I’d today consider pretty much my second mother.” The fondness for the other woman has apparent through his voice.

“I was barely 17 at the time, but she understood that I needed the money and she’d rather have me mixing drinks under her watchful eyes than get beaten up by thugs twice my size, so she gave me a job as a barkeeper. And when money was tight, and my little brother needed some extra cash for school, she’d let me stay longer after shifts to do some extra cleaning up. She was already overpaying me as it was, so I didn’t want her to just give me the money, even if she kept on insisting. God, I truly don’t know where me and my brother would’ve ended up without her.”

The tiny smile Porsche willed back onto his faces was equally full of pain as it was of love, turning even softer as he allowed Kinn to place an encouraging peck onto his cheek. It was obvious that his past was a sore spot for Porsche - as it was for Kinn as well - and that the two had founded comfort in one another when confronted with it.

Tay was almost positive Kinn had also told the younger about his own past trauma that still haunted him to this very day. And he had decided, now looking at the silent way in which the couple was reassuring, and showing care and support for one another, that he was relieved by that revelation.

“So I’m guessing those newspaper articles are about you then?” Tay asked in an attempt tp lighten the mood a bit and move the conversation on.

Porsche followed his gaze around the store and across all the little decorations adoring the walls.

“Well, partly.” Porsche continued.

“Some are from when I was still active, and other’s are from before and after my time. You see, this place right here used to be where I had my Taekwondo lessons, put almost two years ago my former master had to close it all up because business just wasn’t the same anymore and he was getting too old to continue anyway. He sold it to me for cheap. I guess he still liked me a lot, the old man, and he knew I had a vision for this place. And if I do say so myself, I didn’t do too bad for myself!”

“Was making coffee and baking always a passion of yours?” Time chimed in, seemingly recovered from his previous embarrassment at being called out. But Porsche seemed to not hold any further grudges, as he gave the other a amused headshake.

“Funny enough, not really. I’ve actually always wanted to open my own bar business, even before Yok took me in. But working almost every day behind the bar, mixing the same few drinks, got boring quickly. So, I started playing around a bit, mainly with different kinds of caffeinated drinks and alcohol to make my own creations. I picked up baking from my little brother, who at the time, as a lot of teenagers do, picked up a lot of random new hobbies and then just dropping them again immediately after. Recently, he’s been really into that one long-haired singer dude. Wack, or whatever his name is.”

Tay had to hold back a loud laugh that threatened to escape his lips. That explained why he currently had a semi life-sized cut-out of the youngest Theerapanyakul staring right back at him.

“But even with my brother losing interest, baking stuck with me somewhere along the line. Can’t even tell you why exactly, other than the fact that I really fucking love food. One thing led to the other, and with the help of the savings I had by helping out extra at Hum Bar, I got myself this place.”

He held up both of his arms enthusiastically in a gesture as if showing off what he considered his own pride and joy, that dazzling smile back on his lips and his eyes glittering as he took all of it in himself. He seemed to really love what he had built up himself.

“Most of what you see here was stuff that already came with the old place and that I just repurpose or made some changes to. Apart from me not having much budget to work with, I wanted to give this place a more authentic feel. Everything else in this neighbourhood is already dull enough as it is.”

“And all those motorcycle posters? Is there a backstory to those as well?” Tay added on, curious to hear more about Porsche’s interesting backstory.

He already felt closer to and enjoyed the younger’s company more than that of a certain someone from Kinn’s past.

“Nope, I just like fast shit on wheels.” Porsche let out a hearty laugh, one that had matching laughs follow from everyone at the table.

“Have my own one too, but she’s already an old lady. Works just as well as a new one though! I love her almost as much as this place cause I probably put equally as much of my own blood, sweat and tears into both. What should I say, I’m a man of many talents.”

Even in his attempt at sounding cocky it was very apparent that the other was of a playful nature, someone who didn’t take life or himself too seriously. At least not anymore, after all he had to go through at such a young age.

“I keep telling him I’d get him a newer and better model if he just asked, but this one is really fucking stubborn.” Kinn gave a little eyeroll, the curling of his lips giving its teasing tone away. That earned him a forehead flick from his partner.

“I don’t need you to buy me stuff with your big boss money, mister. If I ever want a new bike, I’m gonna get one myself. Not to mention that there’s nothing wrong with my baby. You’re just using the excuse of my current one not being ‘safe’ enough so you don’t have to ride on it again after almost crapping your pants the first time.”

Porsche pursed his lips as he saw the fake outrage forming on the other's face at such an accusation.

“Can you even blame me? You drive like a maniac!” Kinn shook his head, as if he was trying to shake off the memories of the other’s driving skills. “Not to mention that I had just been running for my life and fighting off a bunch of random thugs before you basically yanked me onto that death machine of yours.”

“Wait, who were you running away from and what was Porsche doing there? And why am I just hearing about this now?” Tay looked back and fourth between the pair, visibly confused.

“I did tell you about that night. Do you still remember that one meeting with Don, the Italian?” Tay nodded for the other to continue.

“So, you’ll probably remember that I had pissed him off and that he’d then had his little minions track my car. Big and I had to abandon the car and try to get them off our asses.”

“Didn’t Big get shot in the arm, or something?” Time added on.

“Yeah, he did. I had to continue on my own, but those fuckers wouldn’t give up. They almost had me once, but I managed to worm my way out and had to take a random back ally to try and make them lose sight of me. They cornered me into one of the shops still open that night.”

“My shop,” Porsche wiggled around in his seat, the adrenaline and excitement of that night seemingly coming back to him.

“Kinn was lucky that it was one of those days were I keep my shop open later than usual for coffee-cocktail nights, otherwise he’d have his pretty rich boy ass kicked into tomorrow. Got to use some of my old street fighter tricks too that night.”

“Why did I even think you two would’ve meet under much more conservative circumstances? You’d think a first-time meeting at a coffee shop would be less bloody than that. But then again, the whole mafia thing and whatnot.” Tay let out a small giggle.

“Oh trust me, I wasn’t really impressed with the state my shop was left in afterwards. I made Kinn come back the next day to help me clean up.” Porsche gave his boyfriend a knowing look.

“And I made sure that he knew I wasn’t gonna have him just send some of his underlings in his place. He’d better come and clean up his own mess!”

“So, I’m guessing no love at first sight?” Time cocked one of his eyebrows suggestively.

“Well, I was a goner from the start. Watching Porsche beat a bunch of tough assholes up with his bare hands was really fucking hot.”

Kinn brought both of his arms around the other’s smaller waist, almost pulling Porsche onto his lap. With the way he was looking at the younger, Tay knew Kinn would’ve done much more than that if they didn’t currently have an audience.

Tay easily believed his friends when he said he already had it bad for Porsche just after that first encounter.

“I mean I was still pissed about all the mess he had made in my shop just because he had to tickle some old Italian guy’s wrinkly balls one too many times, even after the first three times Kinn came back for some coffee between whatever shady ‘business’ meetings he had going on that day. And he had weird fucking eyebrows that I had to try and see past, at first.”

“Baby…” Porsche left out a soft chuckle as he kissed the other one’s pout away.

“But I can’t lie, he was charming. And damn persistent, that yerk.”

“You love it.” Kinn nuzzled his face into the space between his lover’s neck and his shoulder.

“Now I do.” Porsche kissed the top of Kinn’s head in response.

Love, huh?

Tay felt his own heart warming up. Because he believed it. This wasn’t another Tawan situation, not with the pure devotion and love he could see and feel between the two as they pulled back from one another to stare into the other’s eyes as if in a daze.

Eyes were the way into people’s soul, after all.

“Trust me, those eyebrows looked even more ridiculous on him when we were kids.” Tay broke the couple out of their own little world. He lost count of how many times he had to already do that today.

“You gotta come around to mine and Time’s soon, we have a full album of photo’s laying around somewhere from when Kinn still shat his pants in preschool. He was a chubby little baby, let me already tell you that much.”

Porsche must have been reading between the lines and seen what Tay had been trying to convey through his eyes, his own pair fluttering in a soft and appreciative way when both their gazes met.

“I’d love nothing more.” There were so many emotions in just those few words.

Please love my best friend the way he deserves to be loved.

You know I will.