Work Text:
If you keep running, you will fall..
Izuku woke up, sweating and breathing erratically. He looked around, he was in Katsuki's room. He searched for Katsuki's phone, turning it on and watching the hour.
2:00 am
He left out a little groan, feeling a cold sensation on his back as the sweat started to get cold. That wasn't normal, but then again, When had it been normal?
He tried to get back to sleep, but the moment his head touched the pillow, Izuku knew that he won't be sleeping.
That cold sensation ran through his legs and installed itself on his neck, making Izuku nauseous. It was too much, everything was too much.
He didn't want to wake up Katsuki, who was sleeping peacefully on his left side, he seemed so comfortable sleeping, not caring if he was going to wake up the next morning.
Since that incident, Katsuki didn't let Midoriya sleep on his own. If he happened to be able to sleep in his room without Katsuki taking care of him, then the blonde would call him at 6 am, so Midoriya would know he was alive and awake.
The mere thought of his own existence was sickening enough for Izuku, who was tangled on his own intestines. He wanted to understand it, but it was impossible.
He glanced at Katsuki one more time, thinking what to do.
"Nerd.. stop looking at me and go back to sleep.." Katsuki mumbled, rubbing Izuku's hand and opening one eye.
"sorry.. it's just.. too much"
"This is the third time this week you wake up late at night.."
"I know.. you should go back to sleep, the last two times I was perfectly fine and I didn't wake you up" Izuku said, begging internally that Katsuki dropped the topic and went back to sleep again.
"M'not doing that Deku"
A long pause, a silence, he knew more than anyone that Katsuki was a determined and stubborn man. He couldn't convince him to practically leave him to die.
Death..
The word was triggering enough for Izuku to make his stomach turn, and he didn't like it.
"I just.. I.. it's too much Kacchan.. I can't even mention the word without feeling sick... I fear I won't live to see the day tomorrow, and it keeps repeating every single night"
Izuku felt a weight on his chest, it was one of those weighed pillows that Katsuki kept in case he needed it. He squeezed it tightly and took a deep breath.
"i have too much garbage in my head that makes it difficult.. when I put my head on my pillow, I immediately start to question things, even if I try to forget it, it appears again and again... Like a never ending story" Izuku said, looking at Katsuki for a brief moment, before looking at the roof again.
He sighed, looking at the hour, not even 30 minutes had passed but it felt like eternity for him. The concept of time was strange, but if he kept thinking about it, that would probably mess with his head.
"When I'm tired, worries come to my mind.. and they just take all the space in my head... I, I want it to be over, I want it to go, I hate this feeling in my guts and my head, I hate sleeping because my head is pounding and not because I just simply need to.."
Izuku could feel the tears in his eyes, but he didn't let them fall, crying wouldn't fix his problem forever..
Another long pause, another silence where none of them said absolutely nothing.
"Look.. I can't exactly understand you, in fact, I don't think I'll ever do, but I will try my best to make you sleep like a fucking baby" That comment made Izuku snort, but he let Katsuki continue with, whatever he was saying. "We could make a routine, you like those shits don't you? We could make a routine before you sleep and when you go to sleep you just have to question if you already did everything on the routine"
The offer itself didn't sound bad, it was nice, and a routine was something that in fact, Izuku loved.
"I can feel your excitement from here.. ugh, anyway, we could also try to give you sleeping pills or some crap like that, if you feel like you won't be able to sleep even with the routine"
Izuku turned to se Katsuki, a little smile was resting on his lips, that idea actually sounded good.. not perfect but it was very fitting.
"Kacchan... Just, one thing"
"What, something is bothering you? Don't tell me you don't like the texture of the sheets or I swear I will explode you to the sun"
"No! I mean, sure the texture is weird but it doesn't bother me.. it's other thing"
"What?"
"I've gotten used to talking to myself, will you listen to me now?"
"oh my fucking god you're so cheesy some times that it's painful... Yes, Deku, I will listen to you, I've been doing that since we fixed things, thought it was fucking obvious" Katsuki said, smiling while cursing.
They tried to sleep again, successfully for both of them.
Not everything was perfect since then, there were times that Izuku just couldn't sleep, but it sure controlled more his phobia.
And, he could always talk to Katsuki if he needed to, as long as it wasn't almost three in the morning of course.