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Neil slipped out onto the balcony and quickly took a deep breath, letting the cool night air fill his lungs. He liked parties, it’s true, but sometimes you just had to step away. Neil turned around and leaned against the stone rail of the balcony, looking back into the party room. His eyes drifted aimlessly over the lights and the ballgowns people were wearing.
Everyone always dressed so nicely for these things, and his father forced him to wear a tux. He pulled down his sleeves as he continued to look around the room. His eyes stopped as he noticed a boy making his way through the crowd. And if Neil wasn’t mistaken, he was headed right for him.
Normally that wouldn’t be a problem- except this boy was beautiful, and Neil has been wishing to speak with him ever since he saw him at this party. Butterflies filled his stomach as the blond blue-eyed boy got closer. Neil quickly gave himself a once over and straightened his vest.
“Hello.” Neil looked up and saw the boy standing at the threshold of the balcony, his hands in his pockets and a small timid smile on his face. Neils breath caught in his throat as he saw the boy closer up than he had before. “May I join you?” the boy slipped a hand out of his pocket, waving slightly to the space next to Neil.
Neil felt like he couldn’t speak, but he nodded. The boy smiled a little bigger and walked over. He rested one hand on the railing and stood facing Neil, his side leaning into the safe guard. Neil quickly stood up straight and turned to face the boy.
“The name’s Neil Perry.” he offered a hand.
The boy hesitated, but then took his hand and shook it. “Todd Anderson.” Neil immediately noticed how much bigger Todd’s hands were than his, his skin was slightly dry, but his hands were covered in clausus from hard work. Unlike Neils hands.
“A pleasure to meet you.” Neil nodded.
“And you.” Todd agreed.
“I don't think I've seen you at these parties before.” Neil said. This was the first one his father was throwing at their house, a lot of the noble families took turns throwing parties at their houses, and his father was finally talked into hosting one.
Todd seemed to shrink back a little, glancing down over the balcony at the garden. “Well- I’ve never been invited.” he said softly.
Neil frowned and tilted his head slightly, all noble families were invited, how could that be? “Are you new in town?” Neil asked.
Todd bit his lip and looked up at the stars. “No, I just-” he hesitated and took a deep breath. “I wasn’t invited to this one either… don't- don't tell anyone…”
Neil felt his heart skip a beat. “Why weren’t you invited?” he asked, realizing he recognized Todd’s last name, but not from the noble families.
Todd turned and leaned his back against the railing, propping himself up with his elbows and looking up at the sky. “I only work here.” he said softly.
And then it clicked. Neil’s seen him before too- Todd was a gardener. Employed by his father, Todd tended to all their flower gardens and Neil has thought he was cute for longer than just this night. Neil had to look him up and down again. He hadn’t recognized him because of how nicely Todd had cleaned up.
“My- my father could fire you-” Neil said nervously. “If he finds you-”
Todd nodded quickly. “I know, I’m leaving soon… but my friend convinced me to sneak in with him, and I thought I might take advantage of the opportunity and speak with you.” he glanced over at Neil and he felt his heart stop for a moment.
“I don't want you to get fired over me- you should go.” Neil said softly, looking down and away. He wanted Todd to stay, he wanted to spend forever with Todd, but he couldn’t. For one they were both men, two, there was no way Todd felt the same, and three, Todd was a servant. There were too many things keeping them apart.
“I don't want to go.” Todd turned and his hand landed on top of Neils, resting on the banister. Neils eyes widened slightly and his stomach flipped. When Neil didn’t say anything and just stared at their hands Todd pulled his hand away. “Forgive me…” he muttered.
Neil quickly grabbed Todd’s hand before he could pull it away completely. “No-” he said quickly. The two of them locked eyes and stared for a moment. Todd only broke the connection to glance back at the room. Neil followed his gaze and when he looked back at Tod, he was looking at him already. Todd's eyes flicked down to Neils lips then back to his eyes.
Neil felt his heart start racing. He glanced back at the room, suddenly realizing that Todd had been trying to think if anyone would see- he gently pulled on Todd's hands to the side of the Balcony where there was space between the edge and the door. If they stood there no one would see them.
Todd caught on a second later and Neil saw red creep onto his face, but he followed along. Neils always wanted to be spontaneous- to just let himself slip, to disobey his father and let go. He had a little to drink and he was absolutely smitten with todd- so why not now?
Neils back hit the wall and he stopped moving, but Todd still moved a little closer, till there was only an inch or two between them. Todd’s hand slipped from Neils and he trailed his fingers up Neils then over his shoulders till he gently held Neils jaw in his hands. Neils hands rose and grabbed to the front of Todd’s jacket. His hands were shaking, he was scared beyond belief- but it felt right, regardless.
Todd didn’t move for a moment, and Neil panicked, thinking maybe he’d misread things- but then Todd’s lips were on his and all his thoughts vanished into thin air. He lightly pulled on Todd’s jacket, bringing him close until they were flush up against each other.
Neil sat in his bed, a candle lighting his surroundings, giving him just enough to read the play in his lap. A small tap sound brought him out of it and he looked around. But then he heard another one, coming from his window. He looked over just in time to see a small pebble hit the glass.
Neil grinned and stood, he pushed open his window and leaned out. Down in the flowerbed beneath his window stood the gardener boy, Todd. when Todd saw him a grin spread across his face.
“What are you doing?” Neil hissed in a hushed tone, the smile never leaving his face.
“Getting your attention, did it work?” Todd mused.
“You always have my attention.” Neil chuckled.
The two of them had been meeting in secret for about a week now, sharing silent glancines when they saw each other and stealing forbidden kisses when they could.
The sound of the gate made them both startle and Neil's father appeared around the corner of the house.
“What are you doing?” he barked at Todd. Todd shrunk back and quickly started trying to say something.
“Father-” Neil blurt out and his father looked up to see him.
“Neil?” he said, a little confused. “What’s going on, is this servant boy bothering you?”
“No- no, Father, we were just talking, I saw him walking in the garden and I wanted to ask what he was doing.” Neil said quickly.
“And what is he doing?” he asked, glaring at Todd.
Neil spoke for Todd before he had the chance. “He is checking for possums. He thought he saw one last night so he came back to see if he could find any.”
“Why at night?” his father scoffed.
This time Todd spoke. “Their nocturnal.” he nodded. “They are only awake at night,” he explained.
“I know what it means.” his father sneered. “Stay away from Neil, you hear me garden boy?” his father spat.
Neil felt frozen with fear, Todd couldn’t stay away- it would kill him. Both of them, they couldn't do that. “Father please, he didn’t do anything-”
“Shut up, Neil.” his father shouted at him. “Go to bed, you should have been asleep hours ago.”
Neil flinched but nodded. “Yes father.”
“Go home, garden boy.” he spat at Todd.
“Yes sir.” Todd nodded.
Neil’s father turned and left. Todd stood still till he was out of sight and earshot. Then he looked up at Neils window.
“I’m sorry-” Neil said just loud enough for Todd to hear.
“It’s ok.” Todd said quickly. “I won't give up.” he smiled. Neil grinned in return, he was completely in love with Todd, and he fell more in love with every word he said.
“Don't come back tomorrow night, but the night after I will meet you in the garden.” Neil whispered from his window.
Todd nodded. “Yes sir.” The words made Neils heart skip a beat.
“Good night Todd.” Neil nodded.
“Sleep well, Neil.” Todd smiled.
The next day Neil went for a walk through the garden while reading, and low and behold he ran into Todd. the two of them spoke while Todd worked and tended to the flowers and Neil sat on a rock next to where he was working.
Todd’s work slowled a little bit as he was distracted, but he was already a fast worker. Luls in the conversation were common, but neither of them felt uncomfortable, Neil just smiled and watched Todd work.
“Did you always want to be a gardener?” Neil asked. Todd laughed.
“No, I didn’t- I’ve always wanted to be a playwright, Shakespeare is my greatest inspiration.” he said, looking up at Neil. Neils eyes lit up at the mention of plays and shakespeare.
“I love shakespeare!” he said excitedly.
Todd beamed. “He’s a genius, isn’t he?” he nodded. “I’ve always wanted to meet him- maybe be his apprentice…”
“That would be incredible.” Neil nodded. “Have you written anything? Can I read it?” he asked quickly.
Todd hesitated. “Yeah- sure.” he nodded. “I’ll bring something I’ve written and you can read it.”
“Thank you!” Neil sprung forward and wrapped his arms around Todd. Todd faltered in surprise but gently hugged Neil back, careful not to let his hands touch his crisp white shirt.
“I’m dirty, Neil-” he protested half heartedly. Neil pulled back and ran a hand through his hair.
“Sorry.” he laughed.
“It’s alright.” Todd smiled softly and looked down at the flowers. “I can bring it the day after tomorrow… but we shouldn’t see each other tomorrow, your father already doesn’t like me… and you should go before he sees us.” he frowned slightly.
Neil sighed and pulled his knees to his chest. “We should just run away…” Neil muttered softly. Then a small smile crept onto his face. “You and I are a bit like Romeo and Julet aren’t we?”
Todd chuckled. “I hope we don't end up the same way…”
“Come now Romeo, take me away, together we shall run and hide and live together forever and love one another.” Neil said softly as he admired how good Todd's hair looked in the summer sun. “all that’s left to do is run.”
Todd seemed to think it over. “I don't have enough money… but if I did I would take you away.” he nodded.
Neil sighed. “Promise me you will, as soon as we have money, we’ll run away.” Neil said.
Todd glanced at Neil, he was serious. Todd nodded. “I promise you Neil Perry.”
Neil silently snuck down from his room and out to the gardens, it was a few hours past dusk and he hoped Todd hadn’t been waiting for too long. He walked the stone paths along the property till he reached the gazebo. And there Todd was, sitting and waiting. The house was far enough away that if Neil's father looked out he wouldn’t be able to spot them in the dark.
“Hello.” Neil whispered. Todd looked up and a smile split across his face. He was on his feet in seconds and Neil walked up the steps, meeting him in the center.
“Hello.” Todd whispered back. Their hands reached out and their fingers intertwined. Neil pulled them close together and stared up into Todd's eyes.
“Oh Romeo, where fort art thou.” Neil smirked.
Todd chuckled and just leaned down, pressing their lips together in a kiss. The two of them held each other, keeping as quiet as they could, knowing it was all over if they were caught.
For several minutes, all they did was kiss, it’s all they’d ever done. But Neil had committed to slipping, to rebelling for Todd. Neils lips brushed Todd’s ears and he whispered.
“Close your eyes-” Todd shivered slightly and did as he was told. Neil took Todd’s hands and slid them down his sides, past his hips and around to his ass. Todd’s breath caught in his throat and Neil took in a sharp breath. “Let’s escape this town for a little while~” Neil whispered against Todd’s ear as he pressed closer to him.
Neil and Todd had met in the dead of night a few times, they'd given each other all of themselves. And the two of them were more in love than anyone else had ever been. This night, Neil was to help Todd sneak in and up to his room.
It was far more risky, but Neil was determined it would work. Neil opened the door and waved, Todd came from behind the small stone wall and sprinted over. Once he slipped inside Neil silently closed the door and took Todd’s hand. He led him through the dark house and up the stairs to his room.
The two of them slipped in and closed the door. Neil giggled softly and Todd shushed him with a smile of his own. Todd’s hands held Neils jaw and he kissed him as Neil slowly moved them towards his bed.
Todd gently lowered Neil onto his back in the center of his bed. He propped one knee up on the mattress as his lips trailed kisses along his jaw.
The two of them abruptly shoved away from each other when the door was thrown open.
“Anderson, I knew you were no good!” Neil’s father shouted.
“Father- wait-” Neil scrambled to his feet, but his father shoved him back onto the bed and grabbed the front of Todds shirt.
“You filthy faggot!” he spat, Todds hands were shaking like leaves and his tried to shrink away. Mr Perry slapped him across the face. “What have you done to my son? You’ve poisoned him!” he threw Todd to the ground.
Neil grabbed his fathers arm. “Father, please-” he tried to beg, but his father dismissed him once more.
“Shut up Neil! You are not in your right mind!” he shoved Neil away and turned back to Todd, trying to back away.
“I- I’m sorry-” Todd sputtered out, not sure what else to say.
“Get the hell out of my home, never come back, you hear me?” Mr Perry shouted and kicked at Todd. Todd scrambled away and to his feet.
He looked at Neils and their eyes met.
“Todd-” Neil tried to go after him, but Mr Perry roughly shoved Todd out the door.
“Get out! Or I’ll kill you!” Todd stumbled backwards, his heels hit the top of the stairs and he halted.
Neil desperately tried to get around his father. “Todd! No! Don't go!” he begged, “take me with you!”
“You’ve poisoned my only son- you son of a bitch!” he shoved Todd again and he tumbled down the stairs.
Neil screamed, finally pushing past his father and running down the stairs. Todd pulled himself to his feet just as Neil got to him. “Todd- Todd please- don't leave me-” but Todd was backing away to the door.
Mr Perry appeared and grabbed Neil, shoving him backwards onto the stairs, Neil collapsed as he hit them and cried out in pain.
“Leave my home, faggot, and never come back!” Neil's father shouted and Tood gave one last glance to Neil before turning and running.
Neil tried to drag himself to the door, calling out for Todd, but he couldn’t stand, his ankle felt broken- his father crouched down and gathered Neil up in his arms. “Not to worry Neil, we’ll fix you.”
Neil was put through weeks of conversion therapy, shrinks and preists gaslighting him into admitting he was straight, or that Todd was a mistake. Women after women was pushed at him by his parents, and Neil didn’t know what to do.
He was so overwhelmed with people trying to tell him how to feel, finally one day he was sitting in his room when there was a knock on his door.
Neil was almost scared to answer. “Yes?” he said hesitantly.
The door opened and in walked a girl. This was new. And she wasn’t wearing what would be considered a modest dress, which confused Neil even more.
“Uh- can I help you?” Neil asked, frowning slightly.
“I was told to help you.” the girl said, stepping closer to his bed. Neil was still confused- but then it clicked.
“I- I’m ok, thanks.” he said quickly.
“My name is Rachel~” she continued to walk closer and Neil moved further away. “And I’ve been paid a lot of money to help you.” she smirked. “So that’s what I’ll be doing.”
“I would really rather you didn’t-” Neil panicked, he didn’t want to do anything with her, with anyone other than Todd. she was a very pretty girl, but Neil had never felt anything for women, and he wasn’t about to now.
“That’s not really an option.” Rachel said, she reached his bed and started crawling onto it. Neil tried to move away again but he was up against the wall.
“Rachel- can’t we just- say you did?” Neil desperately pulled at straws. He held his book over his chest as if Shakespeare would protect him.
“No can do~” Rchel reached forward and put a hand on the book to try and move it away, Neil held it firm. “Come one love, it’s not so bad, I’ll give you a good time.” she smiled and instead put her hands on his legs and moved them up up up-
“N-no-” Neil pressed his legs together and moved away in the other direction. Racheil grabbed his shirt and pulled him back, she was surprisingly strong, but then again, Neil wasn’t exactly buff… or fit. He was more like a twig. She got him pinned to the bed and then swung a leg over his middle, straddling him. “Please don't do this-” Neil pleaded.
Rachel took his book and dropped it on the floor. “I told you, you’ll enjoy yourself, I promise, I’m good at what I do.” she ran her hands down his chest and started undoing his shirt.
Neil tried to move her off of him, but she’s hooked her ankles around his legs and couldn’t be moved. “Shit- Rachel- please, I don't want this-”
Rachel pulled off his shirt and then started on his pants. Neil tried to stop her but she got them pulled down to his knees before she stopped.
Her eyes widened as her eyes landed on all the fresh cuts on his thighs. Some a few weeks old, scabbed over and starting to heal, but some as fresh as that morning. She let go and backed away. Neil quickly pulled his pants back up and backed away.
“Neil-” she breathed, looking at him like he was a hurt puppy. “I-I’m sorry-” Neil grabbed his shirt and pulled it on.
“It’s ok-” Neil said quickly. “Just- don't say anything.”
Rchel stood and fiddled with her hands. “I- I didn’t want to- to upset you- they told me- that-” Rachel looked pale. “They told me that’s just how you liked it, that you liked to pretend-”
“It’s ok, Rachel.” Neils said quickly again. “Just tell them we did it- and… and you can still get paid…” Neil picked up his book and held it close to his chest. Between the pages were the works Todd had given him to read.
“Neil- can I help you?” Rachel reached out a hand and Neil moved away from her. She pulled her hand back.
“Nothing you can do.” Neil said. He felt like crying. But he didn’t want to do that in front of her. “We’ll just wait for an hour or so and then you can leave.” Neil nodded.
“You can talk to me,I’m a good listener.” Rachel offered.
Neil was getting annoyed now. “I don't want to talk to you.” it came off a lat meaner than he meant it to.
“Sorry-” Rachel shrunk back.
Neil sighed. “The one person I want to talk to… is probably never coming back.” Neil looked out his window.
Rachel hesitated. “Did they send her away?” she asked softly.
Neil stiffened at the word ‘her’. He sighed. “They sent him away, yeah.” he nodded
Rachel's eyes widened. Now she understood. “Oh-” she breathed and Neil nodded. “They- they were trying to make me fix you?” she felt disgusted with herself. “I’m so sorry…”
Neil shrugged. “It’s ok. You didn’t know.” he whispered.
“Who- who is he? Maybe I can find him…” Rachel said softly.
Neil looked over. A bit of hope sparked in his eyes. “How?” he asked.
“I know people, I have ways.” she nodded.
Neil hesitated, then he nodded. He told her all about Todd, every detail, and Rachel was right, she was a good listener.
“When I leave I’ll tell them we did it… and you can ask for my return in a few days, when they bring me back I’ll have answers for you.” Rachel told him the plan.
“I hope this works…” Neil said softly.
“You just… um…” Rachel hesitated. “We’ve got to make it look like we actually did something…”
“Oh…” Neil flushed.
Neil opened the door when there was a knock, and there stood Rachel- it had actually worked. Neil pulled her inside and closed the door. “Did you find him?” he asked quickly.
Rachel grinned and nodded. “He’s two towns over, but he’s making his way back here, I’m told he should be here in two days time.” she explained. “If we can get you out of here we can meet him on the edge of town.”
Neil nodded. He looked a lot better than he had before, after asking his father for Rachel's return the shrinks and persists eased up and the pressures had let up a little bit. “Ok- we can do that.” he nodded. “So we sneak me out the night after next.” he said.
“Yes- I wont be here, but I can meet you on the edge of your property…” Rachel offered.
“No- I can do it.” Neil shook his head. “You’ve done enough, I don't want you to get in trouble.”
Rachel smiled softly. “You’re so kind, Neil.” she nodded.
The two of them spoke for a while, letting time pass before messing up each other's clothes and hair to deceive Neil’s parents. Neil walked her out with a stupid smile on his face from the good news, but his parents just thought that they had sucsesfully fixed him.
The night after next, Nenil packed a small bag and snuck out. By foot Neil made it all the way to town a few hours before down. He wasn’t sure where to go to meet Todd, but he had to keep going so his father couldn’t catch up with him. So he waited for a shop to open and got himself some food, and then headed to the edge of town.
He walked for hours, finally finding the outskirts of his town and sitting under a tree to eat some of his food.
After he’d finished eating he stood up on a large rock and tried to watch for Todd, it wasn’t till close to Dusk that Neil Spotted someone. He felt hope rise up in him and he started waving his arms. He couldn’t if it was Todd or not, but he had a feeling it was.
When the person spotted him they started running and Neil felt himself start to cry. He jumped off the rock and ran towards the boy- Todd, as he got closer he knew it was Todd. tears streamed down his face as he ran.
The two of them collide and Todd swept him up in his arms, planting a kiss to Neils lips. Neil put his hands on Todd’s face and felt Todd’s tears, he was crying too.
Once Todd put Neil back down on the ground Neil pushed away.
“Why did you leave me?” Neil demanded, sobbing. Todd looked like he’d been stabbed. “Why- I- I felt so alone- I didn’t know if you would come back- they- they kept forcing me to do things- and tried to make me be with women and I thought you left me for good-” Neil weakly hit Todd’s shoulder. “I thought you hated me- I don't know anything anymore, I kept waiting and waiting but you didn’t come back- do you even love me? Is this all in my head? I just- I don't know what to think-” Neils cut himself off as Todd lowered himself down onto one knee.
“Marry me Juliet-” Todd started and a sob escaped Neils lips, he slapped a hand over his mouth. “You’ll never have to be alone again, I love you, I love you so much and that’s all I know- so forget your dad, let’s run, I sold my plays and I’m gonna marry you Neil-” Todd pulled out a ring. “Just- say yes…”
Neil nodded quickly. “Yes- yes, oh my god- yes!” Neil said as a smile broke out across his face. Todd put the ring on Neil’s finger and he stood. Neil quickly grabbed his face and pulled him into a kiss.