Chapter Text
The first night on Lira San was quiet. It had been a different story when they had first landed. Kallus had been greeted by so many Lasat. He admittedly had a bit of anxiety over it, considering he didn’t have much time to prepare. He was not upset with Zeb for the surprise, however. It had been deniably sweet of him. No. Actually, it was more than that. It was…fulfilling. There had been an ache in his heart, even after joining the rebellion, making moves to set all the the wrongs he’d committed right. However, there was no changing the past. What was done was done. That ache made itself known ever since leaving that moon, discovering just how wrong he had been all these years.
Zeb had opened his eyes and showed him the right path, though he didn’t force him to take it. He felt like despite their many encounters, he was seeing him for the first time. Knowing him. Their conversations had made him feel. It was long before he discovered how deep those feelings had become, much more than mere guilt. To his delight and complete surprise, Zeb had shared such feelings (which he didn’t find out til much later). But his affections for Zeb made that past reminder even louder in his head. Sometimes, he felt it might consume him and his mind convinced him he did not deserve Zeb after the atrocities he had committed. Zeb always chased away such negative thoughts, usually with a few kind words and that toothy grin of his. There wasn’t a rotation that went by that he didn’t feel wholly loved. Zeb saw to that. Even still, a bit of that pain would gnaw at him. The idea that once Zeb was no longer of this world, the galaxy would soon forget all of the lasat and it would be his fault. Mostly the Empire’s, but he was at one point the Empire, wasn’t he..? So many years had passed since then. That was usually what Zeb would say to calm him.
He supposed he was a stubborn man, found it hard to forgive himself even after everything, but in an instant, those feelings changed. When Zeb took him to Lira San and he saw the wonders…and the people. Oh, the people. They were alive and well and thriving. He lost his words and Zeb’s assuring hand was enough to ground him so he knew he wasn’t dreaming. He and Zeb began to get closer. He was overcome with emotion, but could not cry. That came later. Kallus always did have delayed emotions. Call it a force of habit, Imperial programming or whatever you want. He still needed to remind himself it was okay to show feeling sometimes. Kallus felt such a weight lifted knowing that the Lasat lived on, that the Empire had failed in their ‘example’. He actually felt some of that guilt melt away. It felt like some sort of miracle. He would chuckle to himself, thinking that Zeb and the people he became close to seemed to experience quite a few of those. Kallus was one of those people, he reminded himself. It was a privilege to be so welcome by his side.
Kallus turned over in what was now his bed, in his new housing on Lira San. Their housing, he corrected. The sight he was greeted with was a happily snoring lasat, mere inches away from him. Kallus grinned at how serene and comfortable he looked, stripped of his armor, no longer needing to be prepared at a moments notice. It was a strange thing; peace. Kallus had never known it, even though he’d been working towards it for most of his life. On both sides. It was unusual to fall asleep knowing tomorrow was theirs. There was no command center beckoning them, no mission filled with the grave danger they’d been accustomed to. It would take some adjusting, especially for himself. Kallus did not know how to relax. That was probably why he was still awake. His head was buzzing with so many thoughts. It was almost overwhelming. Gazing at the lasat beside him, however, seemed to quiet them.
He reached over the short distance to caress his face with light fingertips, running them through his thick sideburns. Kallus’s breath formed a contented sigh. His smile broadened at the subtle twitch of his ears. His intentions hadn’t been to wake him. He tried keeping as still as possible, waiting to see if he stirred. He didn’t and Kallus exhaled again. In a bold yet careful move, he leaned in closer to press his lips to Zeb’s brow. What came unexpected was two strong arms wrapping around him. He felt himself blush in alarm, understanding he must not have been as discreet as he originally wanted. Kallus was pulled closer, face buried in Zeb’s bare shoulder. He quietly fought so he could raise his head to a more comfortable position but found for the most part he was trapped against him.
But, he didn’t mind.
No, Kallus did not mind in the slightest, once getting over the intial shock, of course. He was warm and comforting. Even partially asleep, Zeb knew exactly what he needed. Kallus could not resist indulging in this solace. He felt so safe when they were this close. Zeb made him feel at home here. He gave him the sense of belonging he desired…and he’d been doing it for years. Being here on Lira San did give him a case of nerves and some discomfort, despite his sense of relief…but if Zeb was here with him, he didn’t doubt he could soon call this place home. He took another breath, mirroring the lasat in closing his arms around him as well.
The war was over. It was time to focus on what was just beginning.
