Archive of Our Own

The moment Elliott had stepped foot inside the boat, he knew this was bound to end badly. Well, maybe it had something to do with the boat itself. This was Willy’s older boat – not the one he often used on the trips to and from Ginger Island – and it wasn’t as well maintained as Elliott had hoped.

But the company certainly wasn’t helping. He was surprised at how little it took for him to regret inviting Pam on a fishing trip. He should have started smaller, maybe with a dinner or something, but he wanted to spend time with her without Penny.

Besides, there was nowhere to run to on a boat. If he ever felt the conversation was going poorly, they would still have to find a way to get through it and get along.

Elliott and Pam were out in the ocean now, sitting side by side, their fishing rods mounted to the side of the boat as they waited for the fish to bite. The sea was calm today, even though it was quite windy, and there weren’t too many fish around. They’ve only managed to catch very small fish – sardines and anchovies for the most part.

Silence was certainly awkward, but Elliott didn’t know if it would be better if they were chatting. He didn’t know how to broach a subject with her without bringing up everything that had gone wrong in their interactions before. He had forgiven her for the most part, but he would never be able to forget the fact that Pam had punched him in the face once.

He had to give this a shot, though. For Penny.

She had never outright said she wanted him to talk to her mother more, but she didn’t have to. Elliott could tell how much she wanted to have her mother be involved in their lives, especially now that she’d been sober for over a year. It was quite a feat, and Penny had finally started to believe this wasn’t a fluke. Pam really had changed.

But their relationship was still rocky most of the time, and Elliott had to admit he didn’t like to spend more than a few hours with her. Pam was a lot to handle, and she scared him in a way he hadn’t thought possible before. He was used to being able to charm older women with his charisma and impeccable manners, but Pam had never fallen to his wits.

This started to bother him, especially after Penny started to constantly mention how often her mother went fishing. Again, she had never said it, but he could hear the suggestion between her lines.

And so, Elliott finally decided to go for it, and invited her along for a fishing trip. Pam had accepted it, and even though she didn’t seem all that thrilled, it was a start. And really, it was only one day out in the sea, doing something they both enjoyed. What was the worst that could happen?

Now, he wasn’t so sure. They had been waiting for a while without any more fish. Things had become quite slow in comparison to just a few hours earlier, but hopefully the fish would come back once they smelled the special bait Willy had got them, courtesy of Linus.

Elliott heard a can being opened, and he turned his head so fast it almost gave him whiplash. Pam noticed it, the can of Joja Cola close to her mouth. “What? I can’t even drink some pop now?”

He shook his head. “Certainly you can. I was taken aback by the noise, that is all.”

She scoffed. “You really think I’m dumb enough to drink in front of you?” She laughed. “If I wanted to drink, pretty boy, you sure as hell wouldn’t hear anything about it.”

Oh, how he hated being called that. Sure, he thought he was quite a handsome man, but the way she said it always sounded condescending, as if being pretty and being smart were mutually exclusive traits. “Well, it is my honest opinion that you should not drink that stuff. Even if it isn’t alcohol, it is still not good for you.”

Pam glared at him. “What do you know about what’s good for me, huh?” She shook her head, taking a long sip of her cola.

This was definitely a test in patience, and he didn’t mean just the fishing. “I did not mean it that way. I simply meant that–”

“Oh dear Yoba, why can’t you just say things like a normal person?”

He frowned. “I beg your pardon?”

“You like sounding smarter than us, don’t you?” She’d already drunk the entire can, and she crushed it with her bare hands. Elliott recoiled almost on instinct. “Always lookin’ down on us country folk with your fancy talk and your expensive clothes…” She shook her head. “I swear I don’t know what she sees in you.”

He closed his fists so hard he could feel his fingernails digging into his palms. He couldn’t explain how much that hurt. How that was the kind of thing that hit him at his most vulnerable spot. How insecurity had made him construct this mask, and how there were parts of it he wasn’t comfortable dropping, especially not with strangers.

Strangers who seemed to hate him, no less. Strangers who outright said maybe he wasn’t good enough for Penny. Elliott didn’t know if he should answer that. He didn’t want to feel any more exposed, but wasn’t that kind of the point of this whole thing? He sighed. “Do you not think Penny is happy, then?”

Pam didn’t answer for a moment, and he felt genuine fear that maybe Penny wasn’t happy with him. Maybe she just knew how to pretend really well, but to someone who has known her her whole life, her distress was obvious. “Nah, she is.” She tugged on the rod, as if certifying it was still in place. “But it’s not that easy.”

“What is not easy?”

“You want kids someday?”

He didn’t know what that had to do with anything. “Yes, I do.” Very much, but he didn’t think it was necessary to add that. Besides, if he didn’t want to have children, marrying Penny would have been quite cruel.

Pam raised an eyebrow at him. “Think you can handle that, pretty boy?”

Elliott bit back a sigh. He was getting a bit frustrated with this. “I know it is not easy, but yes. I think I can.”

She nodded, holding her coat closer. It was a cold day, even for the fall. “You’re halfway there, then.” He was about to ask why, but she kept talking. “I never wanted kids. Never liked them, knew they weren’t for me and shit.” She sighed. “But life has these funny ways to punch you in the face.”

Interesting choice in metaphor, he thought. Pam picked up another can of Joja Cola. “When I told Penny’s father I was pregnant he just… he pretended to care at first. He was all ‘we got this’ and ‘we’ll get through this together’… but then she was born. And all of a sudden it was real.

“He left. He came back a couple of times… I don’t even know if Penny remembers. But I had to raise her on my own.” She opened up the can, taking a sip. “I know I wasn’t the best mother. But you gotta understand where I was coming from.

“It was the hardest damn thing I’ve ever had to do. And I was terrified of it. Scared she wasn’t gonna be someone.” She shook her head. “Even if I didn’t want kids, I still ended up with an idea of her future in my head. She was gonna be better than me. She was gonna make it. She’s smart, too damn smart for her own good.” She chuckled. “But that was good. I don’t know how, but at least she has her head on her shoulders.”

Pam turned to him. “So that’s how I know she’s happy. But that don’t mean it’s easy for me to see.”

So it was personal, then. Pam hated him, specifically. “I do not think I fully understand what you mean,” Elliott said, playing dumb, hoping she would just say it so they could move on with this fishing trip a bit faster.

Pam glared at him, her gaze full of disdain. “Means it breaks my heart to know she was never happy with me.” She downed her cola, and Elliott started to seriously worry about her stomach lining. “I’m her mother, for Yoba’s sake.” She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. “I’ve… I’ve always wondered why she doesn’t love me, but… hell, like it wasn’t my fault.”

“She does love you,” Elliott said, his fear turning into sympathy. “It might not be what you hoped out of a regular mother daughter relationship, but she cares about you.” He paused. “That is why I’m here.”

Pam chuckled. He saw lightening in the distance, the clouds obscuring the sun. “You’re here because she loves me?”

“Yes. She loves you and I love her.” Elliott faced her, hoping she wouldn’t break his gaze. He needed her to understand he meant this. “I am here because it would mean the world to her for us to get along.”

Thunder roared in the distance, and she scoffed. “You know you’re already married, right? You don’t need to make nice to get in her pants anymore.”

“What is your problem with me?” Elliott blurted out. He hadn’t meant to say it, or to sound as angry as he did, but he couldn’t help it. “Why is it that you hate me so much?”

Pam stood. “It’s ‘cause of your attitude! How would you feel if your daughter all of a sudden was sleepin’ with the city guy who barely talks to anyone else in town, huh?”

He huffed. He’d worked so hard to forget about that whole disaster, but it always seemed to creep up again when he least expected it. “I thought we had gotten over this? Did we not agree to let bygones be bygones?”

“Maybe you have, lucky you! But I can’t forget how humiliating that was.”

“Oh, because it was so nice for me! Even nicer for Penny, wasn’t it?” He stood too, so fast it rocked the boat. The sky was fully darkened now, the wind picking up speed. “Would you please stop punishing her for your mistakes? Why must you keep hurting her because you hate yourself?”

Maybe he’d gone a bit too far with that, but he wanted her to hear it. Sure, she was sober now, but it was still a challenge for her and Penny to get along. Pam was always so judgmental, it was as if no matter what Penny did, it would always be the wrong decision in her mother’s eyes.

Elliott hated seeing that unfold, because he couldn’t be prouder of Penny if he tried, and couldn’t understand how her own mother couldn’t see how brilliant her daughter was.

Pam put her hand up. “Oh, there you go again, actin’ all high and mighty! You think you’re so much better than us, why’d you marry my daughter, huh?!”

“Because I love her! How many times do I have to explain this?!” The thunder got louder, and he felt a couple of raindrops falling on his head. “What do I need to do for you to understand this isn’t an elaborate prank? I am not going to leave her! It does not matter how hard it gets, I will stay by her side!”

The droplets became a downpour in less than a second, and the two of them struggled to keep balance against the waves. Pam screamed, almost falling over the boat, but Elliott managed to hold her hand before she could. He dragged her inside the cabin, where they would at least be sheltered from the rain. “Oh dear,” he muttered, closing the door shut behind him. He looked out the porthole and all he could see was water.

The boat wouldn’t stop rocking, and when he turned on the lights, they flashed for a second. “Oh, what the fuck are we supposed to do now?!” Pam yelled, holding onto the table at the dinette for dear life.

Elliott could feel the anxiety coursing through him, but he tried to calm himself down. The boat was anchored. Water was getting on the deck, but the cabin was very dry. They did not seem to be sinking, nor toppling over, even with the violent waves the storm was making.

“Stay calm,” he said, more because he felt he had to. He didn’t want to see Pam losing control. “We’ll try to talk to Willy, or the Coast Guard, and see if we can get any help out here.”

Pam didn’t say anything, but he still felt her anger as she tried to sit on one of the chairs. Elliott ran to the cockpit, trying to find the little radio the boat had for communication. He turned it on, but got nothing. Not even static. “Oh, dear…”

“What?! What’s wrong?! Are we gonna die?”

He sighed, rolling his eyes. He could tell Pam was not going to be any help with his anxiety. “We are not going to die!” He came back into the galley, which was just a few steps away. The boat was quite small, but at least the berth had a bunk bed, if the need came for them to sleep here. “But I cannot get any signal on the comms. It seems we must weather the storm on our own.”

He saw the terror in her eyes, and almost felt bad for her. It didn’t take long for her to go back to her usual irritation, though. “Oh, great. You tellin’ me we’re stuck out here?”

Elliott really wanted to say he hated this probably more than she did, but he kept his mouth shut about that. “It seems like we are.”

Pam punched down the table. “Fuck!”

He sighed again. “Do not fret, it is a simple storm, we are perfectly safe as long as we stay in here–”

“Shut the fuck up,” she said. Elliott did, not because he wanted to obey her, but because he wasn’t actually sure if they were safe, and couldn’t come up with too many lies on the spot. “I’m gonna take a nap.”

Pam stood, and went off into the berth. Elliott didn’t stop her, glad to have a few moments of peace. Even if the boat was still rocking and thunder roaring outside, it still felt more peaceful than speaking to her for too long.

Pam didn’t know for how long she’d slept. She was blessed with being a very heavy sleeper, and thank Yoba sobriety hadn’t taken away that from her. The waves seemed to have calmed down during her nap, as she could feel the rocking of the boat was now a gentle ebb.

It was still raining, though, and a lot. She could hear the water falling on the deck, and briefly wondered how the cabin was still dry. This was an old boat, but she was hanging on very well for the deluge. All in all, not the worst storm to be stuck in.

Of course, there was the whole matter of Elliott. Pam couldn’t help but find him infuriating. It was his whole everything that bothered her. He was so different from her, and he seemed to like flaunting just how much. He liked standing out, instead of fitting in, and she just didn’t think that was right.

But of course, Penny didn’t care about that. In fact, she really liked that about him. They were married now, after all, and her daughter had never been as sunny as she’d been since the wedding.

Pam hated admitting that Elliott wasn’t that bad. Sure, she wanted Penny to be happy. She wanted her to be with a man who really loved her, who wouldn’t leave at the first sign of life getting hard. Elliott had already proved he wouldn’t, but there was a selfish part of Pam who hated being wrong.

She wanted to be able to say told you so. She wanted Penny to understand that life wasn’t easy, and that most people out there didn’t give two shits about you, and wouldn’t think twice about leaving you high and dry. She wanted Penny to need her again, like she did when she was a little kid.

Lately Pam realized that Penny hadn’t needed her for much longer than she’d thought. She had been a precocious child. She was already taking the bus to and from school by herself at age five. She always did her homework on time, and all her house chores when she needed to. When she was eleven, she started buying the groceries, and when Pam lost her driving job, Penny had been the one to keep their finances afloat.

Pam had driven her to do this. She had made her grow up too fast, always nagging at her about the dangers of the world, terrified of Penny turning out just like her. The drinking didn’t help, but that was just a catalyst. Their personalities had never been a match.

Pam didn’t know where she’d got all her smarts from. It definitely wasn’t from her deadbeat father, that’s for sure. Last Pam’s heard, he’d gone and got himself arrested. She never told Penny, but that had been at least fifteen years ago. In truth, she had been glad he was gone. There was a lesser chance of him growing a conscience and trying to contact Penny. That would only ruin her life, Pam knew it.

Sometimes she thought Penny was a lot like her own father, though he’d been dead for years before she was born. Her Pappy was smart. He was a self-taught dentist, back when that was a thing you could be. He liked to read big books about topics Pam had never even heard about. He used to tell her the most amazing stories before bed, ones that made her dream about the fantastic and the unattainable.

When he’d died, it was as if a part of Pam had gone with him. She started to rebel. Her mother didn’t care about her, resentful over having been left alone to raise her.

Pam remembered the last time she’d spoken to her. Penny had been a child already. Her mother wanted to take her away, claiming Pam wasn’t taking care of her well enough. Pam still felt her blood boil when she remembered that conversation. How could she have said that? She’d never cared about Pam, and now she wanted to pretend to care about Penny. Pam couldn’t let her daughter go through that.

So, she took Penny with her and never saw her mother again. She heard about her death years later, and felt nothing. She hadn’t even told Penny about it. Pam knew that she had found out, though she didn’t know when.

She sighed. There was something about how parents should always try to make their children have an easier life than they did. In the most unlikely way, Pam had succeeded in that. Penny was definitely thriving at the moment. She was radiant with the love Elliott had been giving her, confident in a way Pam had never seen her. She braved through life the way Pam had always hoped she would someday.

But it still hurt. It was no thanks to her, and Pam was still jealous. Why couldn’t she have had an easy life too? Wouldn’t Penny’s childhood have been better if Pam was happy? If Pam had someone who loved her? If she hadn’t had to worry about how they would pay their bills every single month? If she hadn’t been forced to cut off her own mother from her life, not wanting her toxic nature near Penny?

Pam’s heard about this thing once, back when she still watched those daytime talk shows, called the cycle of abuse. It had been years ago at this point, but she still remembered hearing a basic definition of it, and immediately turning off the television. She never liked hearing other people describe her troubles so clearly.

Her mother hadn’t been a good mother, either, but in the opposite direction. Her mother had never bothered with her. It seemed clear she never wanted kids, and she treated Pam with disdain because of it. That was what had made Pam promise herself she’d never become a mother. She hadn’t wanted to risk it.

But when she got pregnant, all of that went out the window. Abortion was out of the question for her. Her mother would never forgive her. Pam didn’t have enough money to find a good clinic, and back then things still weren’t as safe as they were today. She was scared.

Going through with it had felt like the safest option at the time. She had been too young to be a mother, but at least she wasn’t a teenager. And with Penny’s father saying he would be there, she thought she would be able to do it.

So after he left, Pam promised she would always be careful with Penny. She would always warn her of the dangers of the world. She would always make sure Penny understood how some things were mistakes, and she wouldn’t be able to handle the consequences. Over the years, Pam realized she’d become someone just as disdainful as her mother, but in a completely different way.

Sometimes she’d let it slip that maybe her life would have been better without Penny, but that had always been the alcohol talking. Her daughter was all she really had. The only thing that made it worth it. The only good thing she’s ever done.

And she was good. So good, in fact, that here was her dear husband who hated Pam, ready and willing to make amends just to make Penny happy. Because her daughter cared about her. Because her daughter wanted her to be happy, and that meant she wanted Pam in her life.

Her eyes started to water. She imagined Penny with a daughter of her own. She would be a wonderful mother. She would do everything right. And she would even try to get Pam to atone for her past mistakes, because that’s just how good Penny was.

Pam was too damn lucky to have her. Yoba forbid, she could have ended up with a daughter who was too much like her, who would cut her off just like she had done. Pam wouldn’t have been able to bear it. Life was already hard enough.

There was a knock on the door. She sighed, her head starting to hurt. “What you want?”

Elliott slowly opened the door, a mug in his hand. “I have made some tea, if you’d like. It’s quite soothing in weather like this, don’t you agree?”

Pam sat up on the bed, rolling her eyes. His speech was so grating to her, but she knew he wasn’t doing this on purpose. She still didn’t know him that well, but she could tell that if this was something he could help, he would try to stop it while speaking to her.

But she had to admit he was being quite nice, and she enjoyed it. “Alright,” she said, reaching out her hand. “Hit me.”

Elliott gave her the mug. “We only had black tea, I’m afraid. I am not sure what you prefer, so–”

“Black is fine, kid.” She blew on the mug, and took a sip. She felt the liquid burning as it went down her throat, but she actually enjoyed the feeling. It was much colder now that it was raining, anyway. “That’s good,” she said.

He smiled, looking almost relieved. “Good.” He sat at the foot of the bed, sighing. “You know… I was raised by a single mother too.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Yeah?”

“Yes. It is a long and complicated story, but I was adopted.” A small smile appeared on his face. “She was older, so I often called her my grandmother. And though it was only her, she still managed to take care of me. I owe her everything that I am.”

Pam took a sip of her tea. “And why are you tellin’ me this?”

He hesitated. “Because… I understand how hard it can be. I may not have firsthand experience, and my life was not quite the same as yours, but–”

“Yeah, let me guess, you never needed money for anything?”

Elliott shook his head. “Why do you assume I am rich?” She opened her mouth, but he didn’t let her answer. “My grandmother was a retired teacher. We lived in a two-bedroom house we shared with her eldest daughter and her husband for most of my childhood. I only managed to go to a private school because I had a scholarship. Do not assume I do not understand certain struggles just because of how I dress or speak.”

Pam shrugged. “Don’t you own the cabin on the beach?”

He scoffed. “Well, it’s hardly a mansion, isn’t it? I was only able to afford it due to my inheritance money, which I’m sure you can see by the property I purchased, wasn’t a lot. The expansion was done with the money from my novel.”

She felt a little of her skepticism melting. “She’s dead, then?”

Elliott looked away. “Yes. As I mentioned, she was elderly.” He sighed, looking down at his hands. Even Pam could see he didn’t like talking about this. “Family is important to me. And I know it is important to Penny, too. I truly hope someday you’ll accept what we are offering.”

“What exactly are you offerin’?”

“Forgiveness.” Pam couldn’t look at him, either, feeling the weight of everything that had happened between them. “For my part, at least. I understand there is much to be sorted out between you and Penny, and I cannot speak for her, though… I sincerely hope you manage to get through it.”

Pam drank the rest of her tea. The ending was very bitter, and she made a face. She’d taken to having her drinks with a lot of sugar lately, precisely to offset that bitterness. It reminded her brain too much of alcohol, but maybe she should try to cut back on the sugar too.

Joja Cola was especially disgusting, but it was the only thing able to soothe the cravings when they came. That had been a tip from Shane, but now she wasn’t sure if that had been a good one or not. She sighed, placing her empty cup on the bedside table. “Does she really want that?” She asked him.

Elliott didn’t answer for a moment. “Have you ever heard about the ouroboros?”

She tried hard to not roll her eyes. Of course he wouldn’t give her a straight answer. “The ourowhat?”

“The ouroboros. It is an image of a snake eating its own tail. It symbolizes endless cycles. Life and death. History repeating itself.” He paused. “I told Penny once that… she had it in her to kill the ouroboros.”

“Is killin’ this thing a good thing?”

“In theory, yes. Unless you wish to stay trapped in an endless cycle of abuse.” He crossed his arms. “There are many ways to go about this, of course. One could decide that cutting off that toxic person helps in preventing it from happening again. However, I know Penny is not like that.

“There are some things she will never be able to forgive. But you are not one of them. She hasn’t given up on you yet.”

Pam knew what he was talking about, but she didn’t know how Penny could ever forgive her for that. It had been her fault. She had brought that man into their lives. She had put her daughter in danger, and when she found out what had happened, denying it seemed like the easiest way to cope with it.

Because if it hadn’t happened, it wouldn’t have been Pam’s fault. Or worse, if Penny had actually wanted it, then it was her fault. Deep down, Pam knew that blaming an assault on a fifteen year old was lunacy, but she had still done it. It was the only way to make her failure less apparent in her mind.

She opened her mouth to say something, but they suddenly heard static coming from the cockpit. Elliott ran up to get the radio. “Hello, over?” He said into it.

More static, but then there was a voice. “Elliott? Are you guys okay?”

Pam stood, recognizing the voice immediately. “Penny,” he said, smiling. “Yes, we are fine. Where are you, over?”

“I’m at Willy’s,” she answered. “I heard about the storm in the news so I came here to check… we’ve been trying to talk to you the whole afternoon!”

“Comms went down after the storm began, but it seems to be working now, over.”

“That’s some storm, lad!” Willy’s voice came through. “Still raining? You coming back anytime soon, over?”

Pam took the radio from Elliott. “Still pouring out here, Willy,” she said. “We’ll come back in the morning, probably, over.”

“In the morning?!” Penny said. She sounded very exasperated. “Isn’t it too cold? Do you guys have food, water, or–”

“Stop worrying, girl,” Pam said.

“Yes, Penny, there is no need to fret. We will be okay for the night,” Elliott added. “Besides, it will be safer to set sail again when it’s light, especially if it keeps raining, over.”

She sighed on the other end, and there was a beat of silence before she replied. Pam thought Willy had been trying to calm her down. Penny was far too anxious about the smallest things. “Alright,” she said finally. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Elliott laughed. “You will, over.”

“Stay safe, you two,” she said. “I love you.” For the first time in a long time, Pam actually wondered if that was meant for her, too.

She didn’t answer, though. She let Elliott take that one. “I love you too, over,” he said, and the radio went silent. He sighed.

Pam put her hand on his shoulder. She must have used more strength than she’d needed, as he’d jumped upon contact. “Hey, don’t catch her worries, alright? We’re fine, ain’t we?”

Elliott still seemed a little startled, but he nodded. “I suppose we are.”

“But speaking of, what kind of grub we got around here?”

He went over to the little galley area. The boat was pretty small, there wasn’t even a shower in the head, and they hadn’t really brought that much food. He opened the cupboards. “We have… some Joja Corn.” He turned the package. “Which is expired…” He kept rummaging through it for a moment.

He took out a loaf of bread, and a bunch of soup cans. He checked the dates on them. “These seem to be fine… Do you like tomato soup?”

Pam shrugged. “It’s alright. It’s food, ain’t it?” She laughed. “But it’s even better with a nice grilled cheese on the side.” She was about to ask if there was any cheese, but Elliott was holding a decidedly green slice of the loaf. “Just soup is fine.”

To her surprise, he laughed. “I suppose.” He picked up a beat up pan and a rusty can opener. “Goodness, Willy really needs to get better supplies in his boat.”

“You cooking? ‘Cause I wanted to catch a bit of a snooze again.” She was getting a headache from all the swaying from the boat. Or maybe it was just because of how heavy every conversation had been.

“If you can call pouring premade soup into a pan and heating it cooking, then yes, I am cooking.”

Pam smiled. She didn’t know why she’d found that funny. Elliott wasn’t half bad when he wasn’t trying too hard to impress her. Because that’s what this was, too. He was trying to impress her. Even after being already married to her daughter, he was still trying to show her he was good enough for Penny. And in all honesty, Pam thought he was more than enough.

Of course, he still had many flaws in her eyes. Which reminded her. “Can you promise me something, kid?”

He turned to her, his eyebrows furrowed. He had already opened the cans, and poured the soup into the pan. “It depends.”

She grinned. “If you have a daughter, don’t let her call you ‘daddy’, alright?”

His eyes went wide, his cheeks immediately going as red as the soup. Pam let out a loud laugh, almost a cackle. “You should see your face, kid.” Elliott stuttered, and she waved him off. “Don’t say anything, alright? Just promise that, and we can go back to pretending I don’t know about your thing with my daughter.”

He turned back to the singular burner, stirring the soup. “Fine, I promise. I was not planning on letting that happen, either way,” he muttered.

She went back to the berth, letting Elliott wallow in his own shame. Pam wasn’t as bothered by this knowledge as she’d been when she found out. Sometimes she wondered what the hell went on in her daughter’s head for this to happen, but she figured maybe it was her own fault.

That’s what happened to girls who didn’t have any positive male figures in their lives. Pam sighed, lying on the bed. She wished her Pappy had still been alive to meet Penny. He was a great man, and she was sure Penny would have loved him like the father she never had.

But at least Penny managed to find herself a good man, too. One who would no doubt be a great father to her children. Even if he was a bit irritating and odd.

Penny could see the boat making its way to the pier, but her heart still didn’t stop racing until Elliott and Pam were both on dry land again. She’d bolted down to Willy’s as soon as she’d heard about the storm the day before. He had a radio system, and he’d spent the rest of the day trying to contact their boat, while Penny panicked over the lack of response.

Even after they had finally talked to them, she had still wanted to stay, just in case something went wrong. Willy had to basically kick her out of his house, claiming that if anything happened, Penny wouldn’t be too far. He could just yell, and she would hear it from the cabin.

So she had gone home, but still hadn’t been able to sleep. She’d tried to do some studying for her upcoming tests, but she just couldn’t focus. Penny had never felt this anxious before. The thought of the two of them out there, possibly in danger, was beyond anything her nightmares could come up with.

She knew they would probably be fine. Both Pam and Elliott knew how to sail; both had been out in the open ocean before. But Penny still worried about how the two of them were coping with being stranded together. She knew how difficult her mother could be, and she knew how much she had been pushing Elliott for them to finally make amends with her.

Penny didn’t want to admit it, but it was a recipe for disaster. She appreciated Elliott’s efforts, but she didn’t know how much she believed her mother could accept this. They’ve kept their distance during the past year, letting Pam sort herself out with minimal intervention. But now Penny kind of wanted to maybe think about having her mother back in her life, especially after seeing how far she’s come with her recovery. She didn’t know if it would be a good idea to follow her heart in this aspect.

The alcohol had only been an aggravator, as it turned out. Pam’s remarks still got under Penny’s skin more often than she’d like to admit. Pam always thought she was just being funny, but every time it seemed like it was a joke at Penny’s expense. She did not appreciate that kind of humor.

Still, she just wanted to have a mom.

Penny knew they would never truly be close, but she wanted to at least be able to trust her again. She wanted to chat with her about the events in her life without fear of being judged. She wanted to invite her over for meals sometimes. She wanted Pam to be able to get to know her grandchildren someday.

But maybe that was already a lot to ask. Maybe it was too late. She didn’t want it to be, though, and the hope wouldn’t die no matter what.

“Oh, goodness, are you two okay?” Penny asked as soon as they’d got on the dock. She hugged Elliott, who placed a kiss on her forehead. Pam smiled at her, not demanding a hug, keeping her distance instead.

Penny hesitated for a moment, but then hugged her mother too. “We’re just dandy, kid,” Pam replied when she pulled away. “See, no scratches!” She laughed, her cheeks slightly red. “The storm was child’s play, just some drizzle, really.”

Elliott looked a little bit scared, but Penny didn’t comment on it. “Well, that’s good, then,” she said. “Did you even manage to catch anything?”

He brought the cooler from the boat, opening it up. She looked inside, and saw only a few fish there. She honestly expected more from how long they’d been at sea, but the storm probably made the fish a lot harder to catch. “I know it’s not much,” Elliott said. “But I believe this is enough for a nice dinner, isn’t it?”

Penny smiled. “Yeah, I guess it is.”

“Excellent! Miss Pam, would you be so kind to join us tonight?” Penny looked between the two of them, blinking. Surely the trip couldn’t have gone well, at least not enough to get Elliott to willingly invite Pam to their home. Right?

Pam patted him on his back, laughing. “Course I would! You could make a great fish pie with all that.” She paused, her smile fading. “That is, if my daughter wants me in her house.”

Penny turned to Elliott, trying to find any type of annoyance on his face, but finding none. He’d really just suggested that, and he seemed fine with it. She smiled, her face growing warm. “I’d love to have you over, mom.”

“Good,” Pam said, the smile back. She gave Elliott one last pat on the back. “Well, I’ll see her back to Willy,” she said, pointing to the boat. Willy had gone up to town earlier, but he’d said he would be back soon. “See you kids later!”

Elliott waved her goodbye, picking up the cooler and walking back to the cabin. Penny followed him, still a little confused, looking back to see her mother get back on the boat, taking out the rest of the things she’d packed.

She seemed to be… calm. Maybe even happy, but Penny didn’t know how that was possible. “What the hell happened out there?” She asked Elliott as soon as they were in their home.

Elliott only smiled, putting the cooler down on the kitchen table. “We’ve done exactly what you hoped.” He took off his coat, unbuttoning his shirt. “Well, I would not say we are best friends or anything of the sort, but… I can say with confidence that she does not hate me, nor I her.”

She felt her eyes watering, and launched herself into his arms. He tried to push her away. “Oh, Penny, don’t. I am quite disgusting from the trip and–”

“Thank you,” she said, her head buried in his chest, not caring if he was dirty. “Thank you for doing this.” She looked up at him, smiling through her tears. “You don’t understand how much this means to me.”

Elliott sighed, finally wrapping his arms around her. He ran a hand through her hair, and Penny still wasn’t able to believe how lucky she was to have him. Not everyone would try to fix a broken relationship as hard as she would, and not everyone would agree to aid their partner in that journey.

But Elliott wasn’t everyone. He was everything Penny could possibly want and more. And now she hoped Pam could finally see that, too. “Of course,” Elliott said, placing a kiss on her forehead. “She is your mother, after all.”