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It’s a night like any other that finds Dongju wide awake in bed when he shouldn’t be, with early morning plans and meetings looming overhead as his brain refuses to listen to his body’s exhaustion—he feels too heavy to move, to do anything with his time, but he’s far too awake and restless to fall asleep and rest.
Not an usual occurrence, but one that’s frustrating even so. He wants to sleep, melt away his exhaustion, recharge for another long day—wants to take the few hours of peace he can have, because it’s the longest he’s had all week, the longest he’ll have all week—but he just can’t sleep.
He sighs, frustrated, and lets his eyes open.
He figures he could get his phone, maybe watch a video, put on a movie, rewatch some episodes—but his phone’s too far away from where he’s pressed against the wall now, lost somewhere past the mess of dishevelled hair and clothes that’s sleeping soundly in his arms.
Dongju can’t remember when Hwanwoong climbed into his bed, much less when he ended up with his face somewhere by Dongju’s collar, his hands clinging to the front of Dongju’s shirt, fit perfectly against Dongju and staying oddly still. Dongju guesses he must’ve climbed up into bed in one of those short and blissful moments earlier in the night when Dongju had managed to keep himself asleep— still unfortunately too short-lived to even constitute a nap, but apparently long enough for Hwanwoong to join him without disturbance or notice.
He sighs again, this time almost sickeningly fond, and shifts to get more comfortable against Hwanwoong for what might be the hundredth time that night. The wall is cold and unpleasant against Dongju’s back, but he doesn’t really want to move around more and bother Hwanwoong—even if he did tend to sleep so soundly nothing would wake him, Dongju never wanted to disturb him. There’s enough space on the bed they could fit well without Dongju’s spine against the wall (and they have done so many times before) but somehow, they had ended up like this in those five minutes it took for Hwanwoong to join, and Dongju wasn’t about to ruin someone else’s sleep—he’s already doing well enough ruining his own.
Without thinking, he moves the arm that’s not numb and trapped by Hwanwoong’s weight to bring his hand to Hwanwoong’s hair, mindlessly fixing here and there before lightly lightly pushing his bangs as away from his eyes as he can, letting his hand linger against Hwanwoong’s forehead, his nose, his cheek—
Hwanwoong breathes peacefully out pretty parted lips, looking as cute as he somehow always does whenever he’s fast asleep—even if his hair’s a mess and the awkward position has left a line of dried-up saliva down the side of his face, and even if he hasn’t even taken his make-up off properly and it’s all smudged all over the place—he still looks cute. Still looks so stupidly pretty Dongju kind of wants to bite him.
If he doesn’t do it, it’s only because that would disturb Hwanwoong and—again—Dongju doesn’t want to wake him or disturb him in any way.
They both need sleep, at least one of them should be able to peacefully get it.
He can bite him when they’re both awake later—tomorrow—whenever it is—he doesn’t know what time it is at all, and he’s not sure he wants to know either. It feels like he’s been on and off for hours, but it can have just been a few minutes—the sun’s not threatening to come out yet, and the night is as quiet as it gets still, so it can’t be all too late, but it’s also not too early.
Hwanwoong makes a noise in his sleep—quiet and unfair in how adorable it is— and Dongju pulls himself back from his thoughts about the time.
It’s whatever, anyway, he’s given up on getting proper sleep tonight.
He brings his hand down to the side of Hwanwoong’s neck now, then to his jaw—lets his fingers follow the shape of Hwanwoong’s cheekbones gently, lets them graze barely barely against Hwanwoong’s warmth, Hwanwoong’s breathing.
There’s an eyelash stuck to Hwanwoong’s cheek close to where it’s smushed against the pillow. Dongju gently gets it off and drops it on Hwanwoong’s shirt. Hwanwoong keeps sleeping.
Dongju would envy his ability to sleep, maybe, but he also knows more than anyone that Hwanwoong struggles too—knows better than anyone about nights and mornings of restless turning, exhaustion that won’t go away, restless sleep that plagues him.
Dongju brings his hand to Hwanwoong’s face again with touches a little bolder, tap-taps and pokes at Hwanwoong’s cheek, his lips—runs his index up and down Hwanwoong’s jawline, again and again.
Hwanwoong stirs—Dongju stops his hand where it is, awkward by the side of Hwanwoong’s neck.
Dongju breathes, Hwanwoong breathes—a careful second of silence.
Dongju lowers his hand, lets it rest between them, waits for nothing, blinks.
Hwanwoong shifts slightly, Dongju expects him to turn away—
He doesn’t. Instead, he clings even closer, traps Dongju further against the wall—Dongju tries to push him away gently, but Hwanwoong seems intent on his purpose, pushing back while still asleep, whining so cutely, mumbling nonsense—
Dongju knows he could push back more firmly— get Hwanwoong to stop pressing him against the wall like this—but Hwanwoong looks so peaceful, so cute, Dongju can’t bring himself to interrupt that (even if he wouldn’t be interrupting at all—Hwanwoong didn’t tend to wake up so easily).
And so, he relents again—this time with Hwanwoong half on top of him after meaningless and weak struggle, no longer pressed against the wall but down on the mattress instead and with Hwanwoong’s breathing against his neck and chest. His still trapped arm is more than numb by now, and Dongju absently wonders if he’ll have to take something for the muscle pain he’s sure to get in the morning.
He probably will.
Dongju closes his eyes again, tries to will his mind to silence—it doesn’t work—tries to will himself to sleep—it doesn’t work—tries to—
He opens his eyes again, stares at the ceiling, glances down at what he can catch of Hwanwoong.
He smiles despite sleepless frustrations as he feels the warmth of gentle breathing—Hwanwoong’s really so cute when he sleeps. Dongju keeps thinking about that. Dongju’s always telling him that. He hopes Hwanwoong never grows tired of hearing it—Dongju’ll never get tired of telling him, after all.
Without any way to be sure of time that passes, Dongju focuses on counting Hwanwoong’s breaths—inhales and exhales—counts the cars that pass by right outside, the low rumble of engines that disturb the buzzing and odd quiet of the city night that goes on.
Dongju breathes, absent-mindedly runs his hand through Hwanwoong’s hair—tidies it up only to mess it all over, untangles knots from brittle and overbleached hair—he should really make sure Hwanwoong’s taking proper care of his hair, but they always end up so busy, they always run too much, they always—
Another breath—Hwanwoong’s breathing becomes uneven as he leans up into Dongju’s touch, all but purrs when Dongju scratches lightly lightly at his scalp—
Cute.
“G’morning” A mumble that’s rough at the edges, exhaustion weighing down on Dongju’s tongue and lips—he’s so tired.
“Hey” just-awoken, cute, half-asleep—Hwanwoong’s voice is raspy and all too quiet—Dongju’s smile climbs back up to his face. “—‘t time is it?” his words all slurring and mixing together, syllables mixing and missing even in just a few words.
“Dunno” Dongju looks up at the ceiling, doesn’t stop running his hand through Hwanwoong’s hair, tries to coax him back to sleep. “You can sleep some more, though” and an amused little huff—maybe hidden self-deprecation—“Alarm hasn’t gone off yet.”
Hwanwoong makes a little noise—Dongju replies with just a hum, with his hand still petting through Hwanwoong’s hair.
“What?” a half laugh, then Dongju shifts so he can look down at Hwanwoong a little better, moves his hand away just enough—
Hwanwoong follows his movements, holds himself up enough he can catch Dongju’s eyes in a sleepy glare.
Dongju only blinks at him—his neck hurts—he falls back down, and Hwanwoong follows, rests fully atop of Dongju’s chest now.
“Have you—” Hwanwoong cuts off, glares at some lost point with lips still parted, blinks heavy sleep away from his eyes, “slept yet? At all?”
Hwanwoong’s voice is soft and careful and painfully sweet—Dongju feels more than a little guilty despite having done nothing wrong—he wishes he had slept, but—
“A bit?” Dongju smooths over Hwanwoong’s frown with his hand, does an awkward shrug. “I was asleep when you got here, I think, so—”
“How long?” Hwanwoong looks up at him with pretty, pretty bright eyes—with his lips twisted in a cute pout that Dongju wants to kiss away.
“Not sure…” Maybe 10 minutes, though Dongju’s sure it must’ve been less—he could always lie, but he doesn’t want to. “I blinked when you got home, just a little—”
“Did I wake you?” Worried, guilty—Dongju cups Hwanwoong’s face with his hand as quick as he can, shakes his head fast enough to give himself a headache—he doesn’t want Hwanwoong to worry further, nothing’s his fault at all.
“Didn’t even feel you get in bed.” Dongju’s thumb strokes by Hwanwoong’s lips, seems to melt away all tension that had threatened to coil around Hwanwoong’s limbs—Dongju sighs with thinly-veiled relief he doesn’t know why he hides. “Blinked and you were home, blinked and you were in my arms like always,” and he nudges Hwanwoong a little up, a little awkwardly, a little boldly— late night and lack of sleep have his fears a little numb, Hwanwoong’s warmth has his chest feeling tight. “’t’s not your fault,”
“Okay” but Hwanwoong’s pout stays in place even as he leans up to kiss at Dongju’s face—it’s quick and awkward and misses having a path at all, landing on the side of Dongju’s chin with a little too much teeth. It makes Dongju laugh even as he complains, pushes and pulls Hwanwoong a little less gently now—just enough to get a little more comfortable, just enough to be able to pull Hwanwoong up and steal his lips properly.
Hwanwoong kisses back, kisses again—Dongju kisses a little longer, exhausted but feeling a little greedy, wanting just a bit more, just a little more.
It’s clumsy and slow and with a little too much teeth—Hwanwoong’s still too half-asleep to do much, to ask for much, so he lets Dongju lead and keep them close together—lets Dongju’s hands run down his back and back up to his hair, sneak up under his shirt teasingly, so lightly—
Dongju doesn’t have enough energy to do much more, but he doesn’t want to let go—doesn’t want to let go of Hwanwoong’s lips, let go of him at all—he doesn’t know if he can sleep still, but this is the closest to rest he can get, the closest to feeling almost calm, feeling like he can stop thinking—
He bites at Hwanwoong’s bottom lip weakly, and Hwanwoong replies with a soft soft sigh into the kiss—he bites back weakly, and lets Dongju hold him closer.
The night and city go by outside their window, past the closed blinds— seconds and minutes give way to another day so slowly, too quickly—seconds and minutes slip them by, but neither of them minds, Dongju doesn’t mind.
He’s still exhausted—he’ll probably fall asleep in the car, in every little break he manages to get—but Hwanwoong’s here with him right now, and Hwanwoong’s half-asleep in his arms, and so Dongju can stop thinking, and so Dongju can kiss, can kiss, can kiss—can kiss and let his thoughts melt away, numb what won’t quiet, what won’t let him sleep—
He'll have a hard time tomorrow, but he’ll be alright.