Chapter Text
The day started off normally for broody Edward and not like other girls Bella. They were at school, where they should be during the day, but they got very bored very quickly. You could only make sure you understand the stages of mitosis so many times with your highschool, forbidden sweetheart.
Bella and Edward ran off campus and to the forest, where they reminisced about the early days of their relationship. When Bella first learned what Edward was. But there were new developments. No longer just a vampire, Bella knew what Edward truly was and she was going to reveal it.
“I know what you are EDWARD!!!” She screamed into the forest, her back facing him.
“SAY ITTTT,” Edward responded, just as enthusiastically, thinking it was still just a recreation of a special moment between them.
“Your red hair… the red blood you drink….” Bella whispered, her voice wavering with anxiety.
“Go on..” Edward followed the script, confused where this was going. Why wasn’t Bella commenting on his super speed and strength, and why… All the red?
“You- You smiled at me once…” Bella said, a tear dripping down her face. Only one.
“Just SAY IT (like i already told u to)” Edward begged. He was so confused now. Did she really know his true secret? What set him apart from the rest?
“Ur a… COMMUNIST (─‿‿─)” Bella revealed, y/n’s jaw dropping while reading this, Edward feeling fully exposed and vulnerable. But Edward wasn’t just going to sit over and die, he wasn’t going to let Bella just make a fool of him. He was going to prove his real might.
“As if you could out-nuke me,” Edward brags, bringing up the cold war because of course that was a good idea.
“How DARE you suggest I can’t! I could blow you up any day(More ways than one) You know what I have in.. Turkey.” Bella laughs as she says it, bringing up a sore spot for her apparently Russian boyfriend. Turkey was his least favorite food, it always made him sleepy.
“Yeah well, your bay is full of pigs lol----------------(\_/)
-(\(\----------(≧◡≦)
( =':')---<[:]|||||||[:]>
(..(")(")✿❀❁(")(")” Edward pulls up a picture of a bunny so Bella could really understand his feelings.
“Well…you could be a pig in my bay…if you get what I’m saying you dirty communist,” Bella says it like an insult, but she means something else. Unfortunately Edward only heard the rude things.
“Are you implying communists are pigs? That's racist how dare you,” Edward accuses Bella, thoroughly offended by being called a pig.
“If they are, then I’m craving some bacon.” Bella really tries to prove her point, driving home the steamy scenes she wished to be a part of. C’mon Edward she wants you for some crazy reason!
“Are you saying you want to eat me? That's sexist,” Edward replies. Oh so he was doing this on purpose, we love an ‘I think I’m being rude’ boy.
“Я хочу твоих свиней Эдвард,” Bella said with her very minimal understanding of Russian. It was very minimal, she hated being similar to Edward and communists.
Edward started to chant incantations in Russian in hopes of scaring and turning Bella on. *я произношу заклинание и оно очень секретное и важное, я произношу заклинание и оно очень секретное и важное*
“AHHHH ur doing an evil communist incantation.” Bella shouts, not understanding a word he was uttering, but very scared nonetheless.
“You know how it goes Bella, or should I say, Белла” Edward grinned as he said Bella’s name in his actually non-native tongue. Edward was actually pretty sucky at Russian too, only memorizing what he learned from google translate.
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! You’re so scary it’s no wonder why I’m dating a furry in my spare time.” Bella screamed. Oh wait. She totally just spilled the tea that she was also dating Jacob, the silly shirtless and jort wearing wereboy.
“Wait babe, ur really dating Jacob???” Edward asks, confused and perplexed.
“Yeah. He got my flea treatment for our one week anniversary and everything.” Bella bragged, proud to be flea-free and prepared for everything. Once she got intimate with Jacob he wouldn’t be able to spread his bug-ridden disease.
“Don’t you mean, OUR one week anniversary??? alSO you KNOW I'M THE ONE in love with Jacob.” Edward also revealed. In truth, he had been with Jacob longer, he had been living in Forks longer, he was in a forbidden love with Jacob long before he was in one with Bella. Plus his relationship with Jacob was way more forbidden, testing the mixed creature barrier while also combatting homophobia.
“WHAT!? Are you trying to get him into your sneaky communist agenda as well!?” Bella asks, brushing over the whole love part of the relationship and accusing more communist things.
“No…he’s socialist…I’m trying to get him into the…homosexual agenda UwU” Edward says with a lil uwu face because it’s true. Jacob was a firm believer in utopian socialism, but still wasn’t fully on board with the whole “homosexual agenda,” opting for a more bisexual one.
“OH NOOOO! First a communist agenda and now a homosexual agenda… I can’t believe what you’ve become Edward.” Bella was hurt. She couldn’t even recognize the immortal boy in front of her, his whole existence just a charade to cover up his true, messy self.
“I’ve always been this way Bella, you just don’t know the real me underneath my amber orbs,” Edward says with a stern gaze. He knew this would happen. He knew that nobody would want what lied beyond the lies.
“Well then why didn’t you tell me? I could've helped fix you my pookie UwU.” Bella said with a huge, goofy grin on her face. She loved fixing people but hated fixing herself. She could not grasp the fact that she was depressed but holy moly were there issues with the homosexuals and communists.
“I don’t need fixing, cutie patootie >///<” Edward said, trying to convince himself the words were true. He didn’t need fixing. He was perfect just the way he was, communist and boyfriend included.
“B-But Edward, this isn’t you my munchkin schnookums 🥺👉👈” Bella would not take no for an answer. She was going to fix this broken, beautiful man.
“Schnookums, my real cutie patootie cuddly bear is jacob… he’s my baby girl, my male wife, my sweetie pie.” Edward confesses. He really did prefer Jacob over Bella. He understood what it was like to really be different, not just not like other girls. Bella was actually kind of the worst. Just a quirky horndog like all the others.
“B-But, no homo, right??? You’re an alpha, this is bromosexuality, right???” Oh. Bella pulled the secondary gender card in a combination with the homosexuality, which she still couldn't seem to get over. I mean, if your first two boyfriends started dating each other you would probably be homophobic too.
“Are you against alpha x alpha pairings or something, alphas can have true loves, FILLED WITH HOMO,” Edward asked, defending non-typical secondary gender pairings. He never put himself out on the line like this before, alpha’s who mate with other alpha’s were shunned by society, opting for fellow alphas over a fertile omega.
“WELL YOU COULD’VE BEEN IN AN ALPHA X ALPHA PAIRING WITH ME! THIS IS BETRAYAL MY NOT SCHNOOKUMS :<” Bella screamed, feelings of betrayal lacing her voice. Why did he choose Jacob over her? She knew she wasn’t like other girls, but she thought that Edward finally understood that! If he was breaking all these barriers for Jacob, why wouldn’t he do it for her?
“Ur thoughts are murky under pressure, Bella. This isn’t you моя любовь,” Edward was trying his best to hold back his alpha power, but Bella was making it hard. It's difficult for an alpha to conceal all his power, after all.
“Well…what if I don’t actually want YOU Edward…have you ever thought about THAT!?” Bella exclaimed. She was better than this, better than Edward. If he didn’t want all her alpha might then he didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve her and she deserved better.
“Are you…. In love with my OMEGA sister Alice!??” Edward asked, wary of the truth. Everyone had always preferred Alice over Edward, she was just so much more pleasant to be around. (And way more attractive). Edward knew that despite her rage towards homosexuals, Bella would leave him for Alice without a second of doubt.
“...Not just her…I’m also in love with…JACOB!” Bella opened up about her love, screaming her adoration from the figurative rooftops. She loved everyone except Edward honestly. Alice, sure. But Jacob especially. Jacob, Jacob, Jacob, oh how Bella loved him.
“ :O NOOOOOOO, ur more likable than me… ur gonna get all the bitches… D:'' Edward truly didn’t know what to say, though he knew this would happen one day. It always happens to Nice Guys™ like him. Bella was no different from the other gworls like he thought. She had left him for people that would treat her way worse than he ever did.
“No Edward, you’re wrong…I’m not gonna get all the bitches because…I AM the bitch that they want to bag B)” Bella suddenly produced some shades to drive home the point. She was hot shit and she knew it. Everyone wanted her, everyone wanted someone who was different and not like other girls. It was all in the laws of attraction.
“This is worse than the influenza pandemic of 1918… I'm gonna go to the volturi and off myself… u did this to me Bella…” Edward was suddenly clouded with the phenomenon of depression. Actually, to be truthful, he was always depressed, he knew he was from that one time that he was sad in 1345. Also he’s a vampire so he kind of has to be depressed. It's in the job description.
“NO WAIT, I DIDN’T MEAN TO!!” Bella yelled! It’s not that she cared if Edward was gone, she just wasn’t sure if that made her a murderer or something. I mean, she drove the poor boy to the woes of depression. She couldn’t handle jail, let alone prison.
Suddenly, a rustling in the leaves could be heard. Bella and Edward both turned their heads, wondering what had stumbled on their #emo conversation. To their surprise, a ray of sunshine started to shine like a spotlight, wind started to blow, music was playing, and everything was in slow motion. With his muddy orbs shining through, it was revealed to be Jacob with his muscly waffle abs and all <3.
“Ladies, Ladies, please, there’s enough of me to go around!” Jacob grinned, proud to see his two little lovers fighting over him, it was a dream come true. With a smirk he added, “Did ya miss me, my locas?”
Edward sprints in the direction of his lover, tossing himself into Jacob’s strong, safe arms. He always felt better when Jacob was around, like he could be himself without any judgment, a never ending joy.
“Oh JACOB! I missed u моя любовь (my love)” Edward nuzzled into his musky fur, excited to see his alpha lover baby. Ahh, a feeling of comfort washed over his body in waves, causing a slight shudder.
“You know I don’t understand communist speak, Edward, baby,” Jacob said with a chuckle. Edward always wanted to show off his knowledge of the Russian language and it was very odd, to say the least.
“I know, but isn’t it just so smexy 🥺👉👈'' Edward made a lil face, trying to be all cutesy and adorable for his lover. It was working.
“Oh it’s so smexy Edward…. I'm … turned on…” Jacob revealed a blush covering him from head to paw. He has always had a thing for gingers, but he was so down bad for Edward. Everything about him screamed to Jacob’s body, filling him with such a strong sense of yearning.
“You guys are so weird <3” Bella said it with a laugh, but her face contorted into a scowl. Very self contradictory.
“What does that mean Jacob?!???? I don’t understand girls…” Edward goes full uwu on the man holding him, really hoping for a genuine answer. How does somebody even say “<3” out loud?! (Probably less than 3).
“Go here bbg: What Does a <3 Mean from a Girl? 4 Meanings & Responses” Jacob transferred the knowledge of wikihow into his boyfriend’s brain, hoping the information would be useful in his pursuit of understanding women. Unfortunately it didn’t seem that way.
“They all have different meanings, I still don’t know 🥺👉👈” Edward uwu-ed. Pretty sure he was faking it at this point. He’s been around long enough to understand the basics of a woman, if he said so or not.
“At least you understand me and my alpha dialect,” Jacob said, his voice gold and angelic in Edward’s ears. Yes, Edwad did understand his alpha dialect and it was very, very smexy. His rough, ethereal voice was almost enough to get him you know what. (Whatever thing you were thinking I know it was dirty).
“I’ll always understand your smexy alpha dialect bb.” Edward mumbles, pulling himself deeper into Jacob’s arms. His nose brushes against the scent gland on Jacob’s neck, a calming wave flowing through his body.
“Ugh, I thought you were an ALPHA! I guess I was wrong…you…you BETA!” Bella glowered, her accusatory tone sending shivers down Edward’s spine. His nervousness was exposed through his scent glands, his sweet scent turning sour.
“No bella… I… I… I’m an.. O-omega 🥺 and my heat is coming up soon…” Edward’s face turns into the uwu emoji, furthering himself as a little omega who needs protection. He was always so ashamed of his secondary gender, especially due to the rarity of male omegas.
“SO YOU LIED??? THIS ISN’T AN ALPHA X ALPHA RELATIONSHIP! I KNEW IT!” Bella screamed in victory! She had a hunch for a while that Edward wasn’t being so true about being an alpha, never seeming strong and large, never having a masculine and woodsy scent. Edward very much fits the textbook definition of an omega.
“I j-just didn’t want to spend my heat with you, I wanted to spend it with JACOB!!” Edward felt no shame, this is who he really was, and he knew that Bella would never accept him. Jacob though…he knew that Jacob would see him for who he really was, so it was no wonder he fell head over heels in love with him.
“WELL WHAT IF I WANT TO SPEND MY HEAT WITH HIM TOO? WHAT THEN?” Omg, Bella also has heats? Doesn’t that mean…
“YOU’RE AN OMEGA TOO?! OH GOD ARE WE #PACKDYNAMICS!” Edward yells triumphantly. He shouldn’t feel ashamed of being an omega, there was nothing wrong with it. Especially when his любовь Bella was an omega too.
“...I guess we are Edward. I guess we are.” Bella looked up at Edward with fiery spirit in her beautiful bedroom spherical jewels. She had a hunch that they might end up here, but still.
“But… who will have Jacob’s pups….” Edward brought up the question they were all thinking. It was typical for an alpha to only have one omega, the sole person to bear their pups. But with a pack, well, there were multiple options, and with both omegas nearing their heats they both were starting to get desperate for pups.
“Guys, you don’t have to worry about that, there’s a solution to all of this BD.” Jacob smiled widely, his pearly mouth sticks showing up and almost blinding them. He also magically got some sunglasses because he was an alpha and he was just cool like that. Anyways, he already knew exactly what to do, as he thought something like this might happen.
“But JACOB?! I WANT UR PUPSSSS!!!” Bella was such a needy omega. That was all that could be said about her. Her lusty warm chocolaty gooey orbs pleading to Jacob’s alpha.
“BUT SO DO I JACOB, MY JACOB, MY моя любовь'' Edward could be deemed just as needy as Bella though, at least when it came to Jacob. He felt his entire body burst into flames as he UwUed and Russianed at his hunky hunk bf.
“One word. Polyamory. You can BOTH have them!” Jacob, the youngest by far, seemed to have way more relationship experience. He had had so many threesomes it was crazy, even if he was just barely above the age of consent. (Consent is so sexy). He knew the perfect way they could all do this. The perfect way to breed his omegas.
“OMG YAY!!! I’ll have better pups than you, BELLA” Edward bragged heartily, just knowing that his pups would turn out to be the better ones. He could see it already, Jacob’s sexy jeweled orbs and his own ginger communist fur…they’d be beautiful.
“NO MY PUPS WILL BE THE BETTER ONES!” Bella knew that hers would turn out better. Her silky (slicky) brown hair combined with the muddy warm grassy orbs of Jacob’s. She had already had dreams with these pups and they were the most beautiful children ever seen.
“I’ll HAVE SO MANY PUPS… OMG MY HEAT.. IT'S GONNA BE EARLY!” Edward could feel his body heat up more and more as he dreamed of a future with his socialist sexy hunka hunky bf, it was bound to happen with all the bedroom talk that Jacob was doing.