Chapter Text
“Who I find what?” Imelda stared.
“Hot.” Sebastian grinned, “Just heard some Gryffindor using it. It means… like… ‘attractive’. Pretty, that sort of thing.”
“You’re really asking me who I fancy?” Imelda raised an eyebrow. Their game of Wizard Chess was certainly dull - even if it weren’t so easy, Sebastian was especially rubbish at the game - but this wasn’t exactly the sort of ‘spice’ she felt the activity needed. Trying to figure out who she fancied just seemed juvenile.
“Not necessarily, though that’d certainly be interesting to know.” Sebastian picked up another piece, preparing to - no doubt - put it in the worst possible position, “I have a sneaking suspicion I already know who it is, though. And his name rhymes with…” he set the piece down exactly where Imelda expected him to, leaving himself entirely open, “Mebastian Mallow.”
“Right.” Imelda rolled her eyes before delivering the coup de grace, “Checkmate.”
Sebastian blinked, staring down at the board as if it had suddenly appeared right in front of him, “Hold on…” his brow furrowed, “How did you…?”
Imelda smiled at him, flatly, “Can you try not to make it so easy to beat you? Please?”
“I don’t even know what just happened! I thought I had you!”
The Slytherin girl rolled her eyes, “When you moved this piece there, you left your king entirely exposed. He can’t move here or I’ll take him like this-” she very quickly pointed out her strategy, making it nearly impossible for Sebastian to follow, “You can’t move here or I’ll do this. And you can’t move here since…” she shot him a look, demanding he understand.
“Since that’s the edge of the board?” he said, slowly.
“Well done.” Imelda sat back, “In short: checkmate. Again.”
“You still haven’t answered my question.”
“Which was?”
“Who do you think is ‘hot’?”
“‘Hot’?”
“Hot.”
“Why do you want to know?” Imelda scrutinized the boy in front of her, not trying to hide an ounce of suspicion. Sebastian generally didn’t press her with questions unless there was a particularly good reason, but she had a feeling she didn’t want to know what it was in this case. Something in the back of her mind told her that this could only end badly for her, though there was always the possibility he was just being stupid. Or maybe he was just excited to use a word he’d just learned, like he was some sort of child.
“Interested in getting your perspective.” Sebastian smiled, in that way only Slytherin could really pull off, “The way the Gryffindor were talking about it, ‘hot’ wasn’t exactly like ‘beautiful’ or whatever. It was like…” he hung his head back and thought, “Like someone also being quite charming. Cool.”
“Who were they using as an example?” Imelda asked, not that she really wanted to know. It sounded like just more vapid stupidity from a bunch of dumb boys. Gryffindor were always the type to flirt and tease other girls they fancied, usually acting more like bullies than gentlemen. She was ashamed to say she’d seen it work more than once, though.
“Professor Sharp.”
Imelda’s brow furrowed, “Sorry, were these-?”
“Well, one of them was a girl.” Sebastian shrugged, then allowed that cool smirk back onto his lips, “Not that she was the one who called Sharp ‘hot’, though.” before Imelda could process that, Sebastian pressed on, “Garlick, too.”
“Garlick? I thought you said ‘charming’ was a part of it.” she crossed her arms. Their Herbology professor was about as cool and charming as a doting grandmother. She was certainly pretty enough (and quite young for a Professor, which had to account for something), but Imelda had seen her stumble over one too many overgrown roots to find her ‘cool’.
“Fine.” Sebastian thought for a second, “Gareth, from our year.”
“The Weasley?”
“Sure. The ‘lady’ of the group seemed to quite fancy him. You must admit, he’s got nice hair.”
“I doubt he'll have any by the end of the year, with the way he’s always blowing up potions.” Imelda tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. She was starting to get a mental image for what ‘hot’ might denote. It wasn’t just about being physically attractive, there also had to be something a bit… ‘more’. Professor Sharp was rather frightful to look at, but there was a sense of intensity and danger about him that Imelda had to admit was a bit swoon-worthy.
Maybe that was it: they were someone who could make you swoon, and not just with their looks. Thinking about it in that way made it a bit easier. A romantic hero; a dashing knight. Maybe a bit dangerous, maybe a bit boisterous, but there had to be one thing for sure: confidence. Whether it was quiet or loud, cool or fiery, they had to be confident in themselves.
“I think I’ve got the idea.” Imelda fidgeted with a chess piece, feeling Sebastian’s eyes light up as they watched her. It wasn’t exactly like she was enthusiastic about discussing such things in their Common Room, with everyone around, but she didn’t really care that much. If anyone was foolish enough to eavesdrop on her, she had ways of making them pay.
“So?” she could hear the annoying grin creep across Sebastian’s face as he spoke, “Who?”
Imelda huffed, “Well, I suppose I see their point about Sharp. And Gareth, too. Not that either of them is my cup of tea.” she added the last bit to make sure Sebastian didn’t get any funny ideas, “I suppose them being a bit older helps.”
“I was thinking the same thing.” Sebastian nodded, “About them being older!” he quickly added, “To be honest, I can hardly think of a single Witch in our year I’d consider ‘hot’.” Imelda bristled with slight irritation at this, “I’d have to go with… Oh!” he snapped his fingers, “Professor Hecat!” he broke down into laughter the instant he saw Imelda’s eyes widen to the size of saucers, “Joking! I’m only joking!”
“You’re a child.” Imelda rolled her eyes, “For that alone you’re disqualified.”
“Ouch.”
“Let me think.” Imelda tapped the chess piece against her chin, “Probably from a year or two above us. No Hufflepuffs, no brutes, no-”
“No what?”
“No brutes? Don’t tell me I have to explain that to-”
“No, not that!” Sebastian scowled, “Did you say ‘no Hufflepuffs’?”
Imelda blinked, “I did.” she frowned, “What? Do you really need me to explain why?” she could tell by the look on her friend’s face that the answer was ‘yes’, “Fine. First off: the name. ‘Hufflepuff’? No. Second of all, they’re always bloody rubbish at Quidditch. Third of all, they’re…” she floundered, “Well, they’re Hufflepuff! They’re not smart or brave or ambitious! They’re just… Hufflepuff!”
“Not that I don’t get you… sort of.” Sebastian frowned, “But you’re really discounting an entire House? You’re sure there’s not a single one who might be at least a BIT hot?”
“Can you think of one?”
“I suppose Adelaide Oakes is rather pretty.” Sebastian said, after a few moments of deliberation, “I see what you mean, though. Not exactly going to make my heart skip a beat. At least, not any time soon.”
“Exactly.” Imelda smiled, thinly, “And it’s even worse among the boys. I mean, who is there really to choose from? Not that our own House is really overflowing with date-able boys-” she ignored Sebastian’s look of mock offense, “Really, I’d have my eyes more on Ravenclaw or Gryffindor.”
“What about that new student?” Sebastian cocked his head to the side, “Isn’t he a Hufflepuff?”
“...Who?” Imelda asked, impatiently.
“That… ‘Sambrook’ fellow.”
“You mean the one who started as a fifth year?” Imelda stared, “Doesn’t that make him seem a bit… I don’t know. Thick?”
Honestly, she wasn’t sure what it meant, but it gave her a weirdly bad feeling about the boy. Not as if she’d conversed with him much - if ever - but starting in your fifth year at Hogwarts just sounded… odd. It gave her the feeling that there was probably something going on with him that she didn’t want to know about. Even if he seemed nice enough, from what she’d heard.
“Rather unprecedented, isn’t it?” Sebastian mused, “Makes him a bit… interesting.” Imelda watched him carefully, “And - as far as boys go - he’s not… bad looking, is he?”
It was clear Sebastian was trying to phrase it as carefully as possible, so as not to get made fun of. Not that Imelda didn’t have plenty of other things she could tease him about, already. His complete incompetence at Wizard Chess for one.
“I wouldn’t know. I hardly know him.”
“Well then, maybe I could introduce you two!”
“No.”
“Oh, come off it!” Sebastian grinned, only further convincing Imelda she wasn’t interested, “Just think of it as a bet!”
“No.”
“Melly, you know you can’t get rid of me that easily.” the Slytherin boy raised an insufferably smug eyebrow, “It’ll just be a bit of fun. If I can convince you that there’s one hot Hufflepuff in the school-”
He was interrupted as Imelda burst into laughter, unable to keep it together after hearing the phrase ‘hot Hufflepuff’. It sounded so completely absurd, she just couldn’t help herself. It was like hearing the phrase ‘Puffskein boggart’, but somehow even more ludicrous. It took her a solid few seconds to even get well enough to speak, barely able to see Sebastian past the tears in her eyes.
“Fine! Fine. This should be easy.” she wiped a tear away, “If you can prove to me that there’s a single hot…” she held her fist to her lips, trying to contain herself, “Hot… I can’t say it. A single Hufflepuff worth dating in the entire school, I’ll…” she opened her hand, “What?”
“Hadn’t gotten that far.” Sebastian fingered a chess piece, “How about if I win, I get to tell everybody I beat you at Wizard Chess?”
“No!” Imelda’s competitive nature immediately lit ablaze, “That’s stupid!”
“You do realize you get something if you win, right?” Sebastian asked.
“Fine. Then if I win…” Imelda smiled, venomously, “You have to tell Gareth Weasley that you think he’s ‘hot’.”
Sebastian’s eyes widened, “What?!”
“Those are my terms.”
“But-! But you could-! You-! Why would I-?! But he’s a-!” Sebastian finally bit his lip, poison slipping into his gaze, “Alright. Fine. If those are your terms, I’ll do it.” he extended a hand, “Care to shake on it?”
“Certainly.”
And so, the deal was made.