Chapter Text
The air in the room was thick. Nancy could feel the sterile sting cling to her throat, coating it in all the shit she wishes she had said. A silence had overcome the room, stress had filled the space that sound had once occupied. The only sounds that dared remain were the sharp beats of the heart monitor and the hum of the ventilator.
Only Nancy and Steve stood there now, the doctors all having left. They both knew they were about to break, yet both were too stubborn to finally crack. Nancy couldn’t let it be her. She needed to be strong, for her and for the others. She needed to be their pillar, a beacon to guide them back from the hurt that permeated throughout her odd family.
She gazed at Robin’s beautiful, battered face. Her eyebrow was slit with a thick bloody line, stitches pulling it neatly together paired with a similar gash on her cheek which hadn’t needed stitches. She traces the soft curves of her face with her gaze, trying to memorise it if this ended badly, and sees where soft blooming bruises were forming on her skin. Her hair was slightly erratic, and Nancy kicked herself for not thinking to bring a comb. She knew that Robins other injuries were worse that a split lip as the doctors had no idea if or when she’d wake up, and if she did, they had no way to tell if she would have brain damage or not. Nancy did know however that Robin’s head took most of the damage meaning only a small arm fracture and some bruised ribs were her other concerns. Despite this, Nancy believed she was still the most beautiful woman ever.
So, Nancy and Steve stood there now, listening to the heart beats and the shallow breaths that came from their best girl. “She’s going to be fine, Nance,” Steve stated, although the slight break in his voice wasn’t so sure, “She has to wake up- She- She,” Sobs racked through his body as he dug his palms into his eyes. He held himself, wrapping his arms around his waist as if to fell held.
Nancy moved immediately, walking around the bed to where Steve was stood and enveloped him in a hug. She knew that if she spoke, she would break, totally and irrevocably break, so she just held him, and he seemed to understand. He moved his arms to wrap around her now, knowing she needed the comfort even if she hadn’t asked for it.
They stood there now, Steve’s head on Nancy's shoulder, Nancy looking at her unconscious lover, wondering why her, why now, why ever? So many unanswered questions, so many that Nancy wasn’t sure she wanted the answers. All she wanted was her Robin. All she needed was her other half, her soul, and her home to wake up.
Yet, in life, you don’t always get what you want, and that was something Nancy was beginning to believe.
As Steve's sobs eased, Eddie walked in with a small bouquet of tulips. The room was covered on every table and windowsill with blooming flowers from Robins friends and family, yet the sentiment still made Nancy's heart warm. The pair separated to turn to their friend, who was now softly hugging Steve, falling back into his home.
"I left as soon as you called," He stated, his presence making the room less stale and cold. "Hey Nance," He whispered, with a sympathy in his voice, one which Nancy was tired of hearing from the doctors, but from Eddie she felt truly okay. They had only been there a few days and already the patronising tone from some of the doctors had worn her.
"Hey Ed, I'm really glad you made it." Nancy smiled, strained yet as genuine as she could muster.
"These are for you, I thought they might make you smile," Eddie handed her the flowers now, and Nancy held them close. Tulips were a Robin thing. She let herself remember now, indulging herself in a memory of her love.
It was the first time Nancy had been to Robins house, which Nancy felt was weird as Robin had been to The Wheeler home more than Mike's friends ever had. Nancy hadn't called to say she was coming, she didn't know herself until she was stood at the end of Robin's path, watching her planting tulips all over her garden. Nancy walked over to her trying to avoid the small orange and yellow blooms that had already been haphazardly planted.
"Hey, Robbie," Nancy said, resulting in Robin screaming and falling on her ass.
"Shit, Wheeler." Robin said, stood now trying to catch her breath with her hands on her knees, "You scared the crap out of me." All Nancy could do was laugh, freely and happily. She had this gnawing feeling that she wanted to feel like this with Robin for the rest of her life.
Once she had regained her breath, Robin stood with her hands on her hips and a trowel in one hand and Nancy knew she would love her for the rest of her life. She sees how Robin reserves a certain smile for her and only her, the one she looks at her now with, and how she hopes to see it forever. In that moment, she imagined Robin planting tulips in their garden at their home. She let herself indulge in a moment she didn't know could ever happen. The summer they defeated Vecna for good felt so uncertain, yet she knew Robin would become her constant. The person that ties her back to earth and pulls her in when she drifts too far towards the sun. She knew she had to tell her soon.
"What's a pretty girl like you doing in a place like this?" Robin joked, causing Nancy to feel a burning flush spread over her cheeks. There’s that smile again, Nancy thought.
"I just came to see a handsome girl like you," Nancy playfully retorted, hoping shed take the hint.
"Nancy Wheeler, you flirt," Robin laughed with her own blush that filled her cheeks, "Help me with these tulips”. Robin passed her the trowel and Nancy started digging.
She was back in the room now, her heart heavy in remembrance of the soft sunburn they both had from staying out too long in the late august heat and the dirt she had to scrub from under her fingernails when she’d gotten home. So, she holds the tulips tight and thanks Eddie for doing more that he probably realises.
Nancy sits now in the chair next to Robin with tulips in a vase next to her and just listens. Listens to Robin’s breaths, Eddie and Steve’s hushed conversation, the distant bustle of life around them. She’s waiting. That’s all she can do. Wait for a doctor, wait for Robin to wake up, wait for the dread that she might never wake up to fill her veins and fully take over. She’s waiting until being strong has consequences. She’s waiting to pass the baton of the beacon of strength that she’s been deemed to be. Yet, Nancy knows she will not wait long enough for her tulips to die. She will fight for her love and fight to grow old with her if that’s what she has to do.
So, when Robin starts coughing and choking, Nancy refuses to panic and finds the first doctor she sees whilst Steve presses the call button. Nancy breathes clearly for what feels like the first time since the accident as Robin rejects the breathing tube as she wakes up. She stands with Steve and Eddie at the end of the room, watching the doctors check over Robin. Nancy can hear her mumbling, incoherently at first but once the doctors deemed her okay and left with the ventilator, she got closer with the boys and Robins mutterings for Steve were legible. For Steve.
Nancy felt a sickly, irrational jealousy spilt through her at that moment, wishing Robin was asking for her. After all, if Nancy was in a car accident just like Robin, the freckled blond would be the first person Nancy would want to see. The feeling went quickly however, as she saw Robin try to lift herself onto her pillows, resulting in sharp pains throughout her body that were evident on her face. Nancy and Steve went to help her up, but Robin shook her off with a confused look on her face. Maybe she just needed to readjust, Nancy thought, shaken by the rejection. Once Steve had helped her up, Robin asked, “Steve, what happened?” Robin looked only at Steve and Eddie as she asked.
“You were in the car with Nancy when a car drove into the side of you guys,” Steve replied hesitantly. Nancy had completely forgotten the pain her body was still feeling until that moment, clearly fear at taken over.
“Wait, what?” Robins face was filled with confusion, “Nancy who?”
“What- what do you mean?” Steve awkwardly laughed, unsure of what Robin was doing, “Nancy Wheeler? Your girlfriend?”
“Steve, no- That’s crazy talk, I haven’t seen Nancy since Starcourt remember?”
“Robin are you okay?” Steve looked over to a frozen Nancy, a tear threatening to spill from her eye, and turned to Eddie, “Hun, go get a doctor” Eddie left wordlessly after squeezing Steve’s shoulder.
“When did Eddie get back from tour?” Robin asked, distracted.
“Come on, dingus, this isn’t funny” Steve said, now with a clear and unwavering tone.
“Robin Buckley, this better not be your idea of funny.” Nancy almost shouted but tears caught in the back of her throat.
“Oh my god, Nancy,” Robin turned to her now, with an oddly surprised face, “I haven’t seen you in like- wait Steve how long ago was Starcourt again?”
Steve looked to Nancy now and grabbed her hand, “Its been four years since you last saw me?” Nancy broke. Everything between them, gone. Her soulmate, her twin flame, her happiness. Every memory of Nancy since they had met had been erased from Robin's brain.
“I can’t- Steve I need to go-“ Nancy let herself go, let herself run away and heard the vase of tulips collide with the ground, smashing with Nancy’s heart.