Work Text:
It was the 24th of December and Spencer Reid was dead set on spending his Christmas Eve bent over his desk at work. Was that a little sad? Probably. No, scratch that. To the average person spending Christmas eve in an empty office building with nothing but a cup of coffee and a cold-case file in front of them sounded like an absolute nightmare, but Spencer wasn’t an average person. He liked the comfort that work brought him, gruesomeness put aside. Work was like a safety blanket; secure and steady and despite the job that shouldn’t hold any routine, it did provide him with one. And well, he didn’t have a lot of happy Christmas memories. So, instead of pretending to like the holiday and accepting one of his coworkers’ invitations he decided that he would much rather spend Christmas eve at his desk, celebrating with a dash of whipped cream and cinnamon on top of his normally black, but sugary coffee and the occasional glance out of the window where snow was falling down at a rapid pace; the wind blowing the snowflakes in each and every direction. He wouldn’t make it home now even if he wanted to.
"Spencer?"
Spencer’s head snapped to the side so fast that he was sure he had pulled a muscle. His face contorted in a hint of discomfort as he rubbed his neck with an awkward sigh.
“Hotch?" What are you doing here?” He asked. “Shouldn’t you be with Jack?” He wrapped his lean fingers around the mug of coffee, taking a sip and licking away a hint of whipped cream from his top lip. He took in Aaron’s appearance, noticing that for once the man wasn’t wearing a suit jacket. He had instead replaced his black jacket and white shirt combination for a black sweater. It was a good look on him.
“I could ask you the same thing.” Aaron gave him one of those crooked hints of a smile. “Haley wanted to take Jack to see her family for Christmas,” he explained, “since I had him over for Thanksgiving it seemed only fair. She said I could come along, but uhm- while we two have figured this co-parenting out quite well, her father isn’t the biggest fan of mine and I didn’t want to make things uncomfortable by being an unwanted guest.”
“Oh, I am sorry to hear that, it must be hard to spend Christmas away from him,” Spencer said.
“It’s one of the hardest things about being separated,” Aaron admitted. “Hopefully things will be mended more in the future, but it didn’t seem worth pushing it.” He walked over and leaned against Spencer’s desk, taking in the adorable genius in his dark red sweater and brown slacks and curls going each and every direction. “Why have you decided to spend Christmas Eve bent over a twenty year old unsolved case? Didn’t Morgan and Garcia invite you?”
“They did, but I didn’t think I would be the best company,” Spencer admitted. “I didn’t feel like going over there while everyone was drinking and celebrating and feeling like an outcast. At first I wanted to visit my mom, but I am already going over there for New Years this year,” he shrugged. “She hasn’t been doing so well and selfishly enough, I don’t know if I can handle two holidays when her episodes are this bad. She is in good hands.”
“That’s not selfish Reid, it’s important that you’re looking after yourself as well.” Aaron said.
“I know,” Spencer sighed, “doesn’t mean it’s any easier to make decisions like that.” He looked up at Aaron with a small smile. “Somehow it felt less sad to be here, doing something useful than sitting in my own apartment.”
“I agree."
They shared a glance and Spencer couldn’t help, but laugh. “Let’s just promise we won’t tell the others about this, alright?” He asked. “They won’t ever let us live it down.”
“Especially not you,” Aaron warned. He hesitated and glanced over at his office door. “We could uhm- at least make things a little bit less depressing?” He asked. “If you wanted to? Unless you would rather be alone, of course.”
He had been planning to spend his evening, and night, in his office, stealing some of Dave’s stash of Whiskey and going over some important case files he needed to hand it after Christmas, but now that Spencer was here to possibly keep him company it all sounded awfully sad. He didn’t often allow himself to indulge in the comfort of the man’s company. The young genius was one of Aaron’s favorite people to be around even if it might not always show. Behind his stoic expressions and furrowed brows and interruptions he did care for Spencer and he secretly loved listening to his voice and his enthusiastic rambles. He even loved the big hand gestures he occasionally made even though Aaron was convinced that one day he would accidentally take someone’s eye out.
“What did you have in mind?” Spencer asked. “My biggest indulgence for the night is the hot chocolate I have waiting for me alongside a pastry and left over pizza.”
“How about,” Aaron said, “we combine your stash with my stash of pralines, the lasagne Rossi forced me to take home after declining his Christmas invitation, and the booze that I know Dave hides in his office.”
Spencer smiled at the thought. “Are you asking me to have Christmas Eve dinner with you?” He asked with a little uncertainty.
“Is that such a bad idea?” Aaron asked
“No, no, let’s do it. I could use a break.”
Spencer felt giddy at the thought of spending some of his Christmas eve with Aaron Hotchner. He often wished he got to spend more time with him. Aside from the occasional team outing he only saw him during work which, mind you, was still a lot of time all things considered. Spencer had a bit of an unhealthy obsession with the man. He would call it a crush, but he hated that word. He wasn’t good with crushes or romance or feelings he didn’t understand and his feelings for Aaron were a big, tangled up mess of confusion.
–
Fifteen minutes later they found themselves sitting on Aaron’s couch, their Christmas Eve stash spread out in front of them nicely heated by their breakroom microwave, and yes they had made sure it wasn’t still cold in the middle, and now with the addition of some leftover cookies they had found in one of the cabinets. Spencer had been convinced that Garcia had baked them, but either way- they were now theirs; fairly won during their heist for food.
Spencer just popped a small bite of the heavenly lasagna that Rossi had made into his mouth when the lights flickered off. The office suddenly turned dead quiet with the heater turning off and the familiar humm of different machines and computers. The only sound Spencer could make out was the wind coming from outside, roaring around the building at high speed.
“Uhm-” he frowned just a little, unable to see in the darkness. “Did I ever mention that I really hate the dark?”
“I might have noticed a few times.” Aaron rested his hand on Spencer’s arm: “Wait here. The light will probably turn back on any second. We have backup generators all over the place.” He got up. “But just in case-”
After a few seconds of Aaron stumbling through the dark and Spencer holding back a laugh when the other man bumped his knee, Aaron had managed to light a few candles and he sat back down.
“Wow, look at us. All we are missing is some Christmas music and a Christmas tree and it might feel like Christmas after all,” Spencer joked with a soft chuckle. “Why do you keep candles in your office anyway?”
“Well, if you are in the mood for a search through the dark, I am sure we could steal some Christmas decorations out of Garcia’s office,” Aaron said with a hint of a smile. “Got them as a secret Santa gift once and never bothered to take them home,” he admitted.
“While that does sound awfully tempting, I think I will pass,” Spencer bumped their knees together playfully before he could even think, his eyes widening just a little and he blushed, relieved that the room wasn’t lit enough to show off his red cheeks.
Spencer and Aaron began to enjoy some of their make-shift buffet in comfortable silence, occasionally exchanging comments about food. Spencer didn’t mind the quiet, he liked sitting here this close to Aaron and without having to think of a conversation topic, he could focus on not freaking out by the close proximity of the man..
“So- '' Aaron said after a few minutes, “I don’t think the back up generator is going to kick on anytime soon.”
“Guess we are going to go old school and work by the candle light.” Spencer picked up his spiked hot chocolate, taking a sip. “At least this will keep us warm.”
“Are you cold?” Aaron asked, raising a brow as he glanced over at Spencer.
“A little! I mean, it’s freezing in here and have you looked outside? It’s just getting worse. I don’t think either of us are going to make it home tonight.”
“Are you telling me, Dr. Spencer Reid, that you weren’t planning on sleeping in your office chair?” Aaron asked with a raised brow.
“I was kind of planning on hijacking your couch, but- I have a feeling that one will be taken.”
“We could share-” It was out of Aaron’s mouth before he realized what he had been trying to say.
Spencer almost choked on the bite of the cookie he had just taken, his cheeks flushing a bright red. “Oh uhm, that might be a bit tight-” he managed to get out, holding back the embarrassing cough rising in his throat.
Aaron’s own cheeks were flushed. He was so bad at this. He hadn’t tried to flirt with anyone since Haley and it had been years since he had had to wow her like that. Was he trying to flirt with Spencer? Probably. Who was he kidding? Yes, he was trying to and he was failing miserably.
“I didn’t mean- anyway, you can take the couch,” Aaron promised as he got up, quickly busying himself by grabbing the blanket he kept stored away in his office. “Lucky for you, I have been sleeping on this couch more times than I can count.”
Spencer grabbed the blanket and wrapped it around himself. “Aren’t you cold?” He asked Aaron as he huddled under the soft blanket which smelled like Aaron and god, how could he take this one home with him without making it weird?
“A little, but I will be okay.”
Before Spencer could think about it, he lifted one side of the blanket. “We could share-” he joked, using Aaron’s own words against him.
The man raised a brow and hesitated. “I don’t know if that’s appropriate.”
“I don’t care,” Spencer said. “Hotch, sit your ass down. Come on, we’ve seen and been through some horrible stuff together. I think I can handle sharing a blanket with you.”
Aaron smiled then, magical dimples and all, and he joined Spencer back on the couch. “You’re very convincing.”
The blanket was wrapped around both of their shoulders, huddled together in the cold office room. Without the radiator working the way it should, the temperature was dropping fast. Spencer was hit with the reality that he had never been this close to Aaron. Their knees were pressed together, arms brushing against each other and if he just moved his head a little he could rest it against Aaron’s shoulder.
Spencer didn’t know how to fill the silence. He was scared that if he allowed himself to speak, to think too much about where he was and what he was doing and with who he would mess it all up. So he did what he did best and that was ramble.
“Do you know what the pinocchio effect is?”
“.. I don’t think so,” Aaron admitted, glancing at the younger genius.
“It’s proven that when a person lies, they experience what is called the pinocchio effect. It’s an increase in temperature around the nose and the orbital muscle in the inner corner of the eye. Facial temperature can change due to stress and anxiety as well.”
Aaron nodded thoughtfully. “Maybe we should install some heat sensors in our interrogation rooms.”
Spencer chuckled. “And Strauss is going to sign off on that?”
“I doubt it,” Aaron sighed. “For some reason she is dead set on making our job more difficult than it is.
"Right? Not to brag, but with our reputation as a team you would think that she would be proud of us if anything.”
“I do think she is appreciative of us. She just lacks the ability to show her appreciation. It’s easier for her to say what we do wrong than to say what we do right,” Aaron said. “At least she can admit when she is wrong. That’s something.”
Spencer nodded in agreement. “I guess. I am happy I am not the one dealing with her though.”
Aaron moved, their arms brushing together and it took everything in him not to wrap his own around Spencer’s shoulders and pull him closer. “While I did come here to work,” he said, “even I have my limits and I would much rather not talk or think about Strauss on Christmas Eve.”
The other man let out a laugh. “Then what would you like to talk about?”
Aaron thought for a second. “What is the last book you read?”
“You sure you want to listen to me ramble on for a few hours?”
"Contrary to popular belief, I do like your ramblings. It’s just not always the appropriate time for them,” he held his hands up in mock defense.
Spencer’s face instantly brightened. “I actually reread a book. Solaris? By Stanislaw Lem? It’s a classic book in the sci-fi genre. The first time I read it I actually read the English translation, but I wanted to give the original piece a try which is in Polish.”
“You speak Polish?”
“Not really, I am very rusty. I would be surprised if I could pronounce even a few words correctly,” Spencer admitted, “but I can read it pretty well. I’ve always considered reading the easiest when learning a new language. Don’t get me wrong. I am grateful for all the great works that have been translated over time, but nothing beats reading it the way it was meant to be read, in its original tongue.”
Spencer looked up at Aaron and smiled when he noticed the man staring at him. “What?” He asked with a shy smile. “Do I have something on my face? Was it something I said?”
Aaron shook his head. “No-,” he admitted. Spencer looked gorgeous like that, the expression on his face bright, eyes sparkling in the dim light coming from the candles; relaxed and so close that Aaron could smell his cologne and the hint of cinnamon and coffee which always seemed to follow him around.
“Then what is it?” Spencer asked, wetting his bottom lip nervously. Aaron had never looked at him like that before, not that he had noticed and he was sure he would have noticed because he watched Aaron a lot.
Aaron cocked his head to the side slightly, his fingers were trembling slightly as he carefully took the mg out of Spencer’s hands. “You look pretty,” he admitted, placing the mug down on the table. He reached out wiping a hint of whipped cream from the corner of his mouth. “All though you did have a bit of cream, right there.”
Spencer was staring at Aaron, scared that if he breathed too loud the moment would be ruined. “Oh-” was all he managed to get out, speechless for the first time in who knew how long.
Spencer’s silence brought Aaron right back to his senses and he pulled away. “I am so sorry, that was highly inappropriate- I shouldn’t have-”
Before Spencer could overthink it he reached over, resting his hand against Aaron’s. “What I meant to say was thank you,” he said. “Sorry, I am not used to compliments like that, not from people like you.”
“People like me?”
Spencer took a deep breath. “Attractive, intimidating, smart, powerful,” he breathed out. Most likely straight , he added in his own mind.
“You think I am intimidating?” Aaron asked with a soft laugh, “and attractive?” He glanced at Spencer with a slight raise of his brow..
“I don’t think you are intimidating anymore,” Spencer chuckled, avoiding the ‘attractive’ part in the hopes that the man would gloss over it, forget about it. “But I used to." Oh, don’t act so surprised Hotch. You know you are intimidating. The suit, the way you carry yourself, the way you almost never smile. It’s all part of it.”
“I guess I can’t deny that,” Aaron said, “but I did mean what I said;” he admitted, face a little more serious as he did so. “And you shouldn’t cut yourself short like that. I don’t care what people like me are supposed to think. All I know is that I think that you’re absolutely breathtaking. Especially right now.”
Spencer was convinced that he was dreaming because this couldn’t be happening. He must have dozed off at his desk after staring at the same case file for three hours straight and not seeing anything new. That was a much more likely scenario than Aaron Hotchner sitting next to him, their hands resting against each other and confessing that he thought that Spencer Reid; socially awkward, lanky Dr. Spencer Reid was breathtaking.
“Thank you-” Spencer looked away, his cheeks a crimson red. Aaron reached out with his free hand, lifting Spencer’s chin up gently so that the younger genius was looking at him. “I need to be honest with you and with myself,” he whispered.
“Of.. of course.”
“You might not like what you are about to hear,” Aaron admitted.
“Hey,” Spencer sent him a smile, despite his nerves. “You can tell me anything, I promise. You’ve entrusted me with your life and safety more times than I can count. You can tell me whatever is on your mind.”
“Haley and I got a divorce because of the job, because I couldn’t separate myself from it the way she wanted me to, because I didn’t put her and Jack first the way she had hoped I would,” Aaron said, “but that’s not the only reason. I had been interested in someone else for a long time. Things had died between us months before we decided on a divorce and I am mostly to blame for that,” he whispered, scared that his voice would cut through the silence too fast, too loud.
“You haven’t left my mind in months and I tried to ignore the way you make me feel, the way you brighten up my day when you so much as look in my direction. It makes me feel so silly, to be so interested in someone again; nervous and awkward and like I don’t know what I am doing. And I know I shouldn’t be telling you this. I just- I have been holding it in for so long and it’s driving me crazy and I just wanted it to be out there, wanted to let you know that I am really really into you Spencer because I don’t think I could move on without letting it be heard by someone, by you.”
Spencer stared at Aaron, speechless for a few seconds and he blinked. “Am I hearing this right?” He glanced down at their hands, squeezing Aaron’s when he noticed that the man was about to pull away. “You are telling me that you like me? That you are attracted to me? This isn’t some fragment of my imagination, right? I am not drooling on my desk, fast asleep?”
“This is very much real,” Aaron admitted, “and yes, I am.”
Spencer made a split decision. He knew this would change everything, but he couldn’t stop himself. Not with Aaron’s confession, not when he finally heard the words he had been dreaming about hearing for months and months on end. He had always been intrigued by the kind, honest and funny, but stoic man in front of him and over the years it had developed into something more, something scary and new and exciting and now it was within reach and Spencer couldn’t stop himself.
He leaned in, eyes fluttered shut and he carefully pressed his lips against Aaron’s slim ones. He tasted the sweetness of the hot chocolate they had been drinking on the man’s lips and he whimpered softly at the revelation that he was finally kissing him. His arms snaked around Aaron’s neck, pulling him in closer. He wanted to feel him close, explore every inch of him.
Aaron answered the kiss with newfound interest. Spencer’s lips were sweet and perfect and so, so different from anything he had ever experienced. He had kissed men before, but it had all been experimental and never like this. His free hand moved to rest in his rowdy curls, quietly running his fingers through his locks and he leaned into him, enjoying the feeling of Spencer’s body pressed tightly against his own.
When they pulled apart they were both a little flushed and breathed. Spencer tucked in close to Aaron’s side, his breath coming out in shaky bursts. “I’ve always been intrigued by you,” he whispered, “but it didn’t turn into something bigger until a few months ago and now all I want is you.”
“You can have me,” Aaron whispered, “every part of me. "I am all yours.”
Spencer smiled at that. “I like the sound of that.”
The rest of the evening they spent lazily making out, feeding each other bites of cookies and exchanging stories or recalling memories from previous cases and team outings. Spencer was convinced he had never seen Aaron laugh that much, arm wrapped around Spencer’s shoulders and the genius safely tucked into his side.
And when the generator finally flickered back on, coating the office in an orange light the two men were fast asleep on the couch. Spencer’s face tucked into Aaron’s neck and mostly on top of him. Aaron’s arms holding the genius in place. The blanket was tucked up high, providing them with comfort and warmth and security.
Their Christmas Eve had definitely turned out different than expected. Spencer didn’t know what the universe had done to make them both appear in the office on this specific date; lonely and feeling like outcasts. But they had found each other and that was all that he cared about.