Work Text:
(AU)
“Ready?” Jack shouted from somewhere in the apartment they shared. Mark forced a smile as his stomach did flips. No, he wasn’t ready, he wasn’t ever going to be ready. Jack appeared, wearing his book-bag. “Got everything?” he asked.
“I should probably go grab a water, you can, um, go out to the car,” Mark said.
“Okay, that’s cool,” he said. Mark noticed the drum-sticks sticking out of Jack’s book-bag. They had often been there throughout their college experience. He smiled, remembering the time they’d fallen out and he drug Mark along in search of them, covering the whole campus before finding them in his dorm-room. Mark opened the fridge, grabbing a bottle of water. He tossed it around, wanting to kill as much time as possible before the performance. But he didn’t want to waste his best friend’s time either, so he made his way slowly outside, taking his time locking the door despite the bitter cold. He opened the car door. “Quick, turn on the heater, I’m freezing in here.”
“Oops, sorry about that,” Mark said, starting up the car and then turning the heat all the way up. But he couldn’t get himself to drive.
“Mark? You okay?” Jack asked, touching his shoulder, “You’re shaking.”
“Shit, shit, shit,” Mark mumbled, “I can’t do this. I cannot do this.”
“What? Of course you can! You’ve been practicing for months!” Jack said.
Mark put his head in his hands, “But I’m not good enough! What if I mess up and bring the rest of the band down? What if I forget the words? What if there’s a bunch of people there? What if there’s no one there!?”
“Mark,” Jack started, “Look at me.” Mark reluctantly moved his hands down, revealing his tear streaked face. “You’re going to do great. I don’t care if you mess up. And there won’t be no one there, I’ll be there, and it’s a mall after all. And the rest of your band will be there for you too. You don’t need to worry.”
“I can’t help it,” Mark murmured.
“I know,” Jack replied softly, “Try taking a few deep breaths and see if it helps. And you can practice right now if it’d make you feel better. I love your singing voice. I won’t judge.” Mark inhaled slowly, counting to four in his head. He paused for four more seconds, before exhaling.
“Okay, I’ll...I’ll try,” Mark said. He hummed, trying to find the first note. Then he began to sing, soft and nervous at first, before losing himself in the song. His face was flushed at the end. “H-How did I do?” he asked, keeping his eyes down.
“You did amazing!” Jack said, “You’re going to be great at the mall. I promise you that.” Mark smiled, starting to drive. “You might want to go faster than that,” Jack commented, “Or we’re going to be awfully late. And also you need to put your seatbelt on.”
“What are you, my mom?” Mark asked.
“No! I just care about you, that’s all,” Jack responded.
“O-Oh,” Mark said, putting the seat-belt on. Jack’s eyes travelled out the window, face slightly red. He was trying to play it off like he didn’t say it, but he had. He cares about me, Mark thought, He really cares about me.
“So, I was wondering, what’s that song about anyways?” Jack said, still trying to play it cool.
“Oh, um, it’s kind of personal I guess. I don’t know. It’s about this guy who falls in love with another guy but is afraid to say anything,” Mark said.
“Who’s this guy Markimoo?” Jack asked. Mark’s face turned red.
“Oh, um- just someone I know,” Mark replied.
“Come on, you gotta be more specific than that,” Jack said.
“Now isn’t a good time,” Mark said, not meeting Jack’s eyes.
“Okay,” Jack whined, “Promise you’ll tell me later. Please?”
“Fine,” Mark said, “I promise.”
A few minutes later they pulled into the mall parking lot. Mark parked the car, taking a deep breath before stepping out. He slipped a little on the ice. “Be careful on the ice,” he commented.
“What?” Jack asked, before slipping and almost falling down. “Oh. The ice.”
“You okay?” Mark said, practically sliding over to him.
“Yea, I’m fine.” he replied.
“You sure?” Mark asked.
“Yes, I didn’t even hit the ground this time, I must be getting more agile,” Jack replied, smirking.
“Just take my hand to be safe, okay?” Mark said.
“So I can bring us both down? Okay,” Jack said, taking Mark’s hand. Mark blushed a little, but reminded himself to keep it in check. “Let’s get inside fast. It’s freezing out here.”
“The entrance is just up there,” Mark said, pointing with his free hand, “The band should already be set up.”
“I’m so excited to hear you as a whole!” Jack exclaimed, a huge smile on his face.
“Don’t get too excited,” Mark replied.
“How could I not get excited? My roommate is in a band! That’s performing!” Jack practically shouted.
“Performing in a small mall no one’s heard of,” Mark said.
“Oh stop that,” Jack said, “You have plenty of fans and they’re going to want to hear you live.”
“If you say so,” Mark said.
“I know you’re nervous, and it’d probably help you more to think positive than negative,” Jack said, squeezing Mark’s hand. Mark sighed.
“You’re right, but I still can’t help it,” Mark said. They made their way up the steps. The automatic doors opened, and they stepped into the warm building.
“So where are you performing at?” Jack asked. Mark pointed to the stage that was set up just a little ways from them. There was a guy sitting at the drum set, twirling his sticks, a blue haired girl holding a base, and mysterious guitar sitting by itself.
“You really haven’t formally met these guys,” Mark commented, “Come on, I’ll let you met them.” Jack followed Mark onto the stage. “Our drummer’s name is Aaron. Aaron, this is my roommate Sean.”
“Hey,” Aaron said, giving him a half wave. “I’ve heard a lot about you.” Mark blushed.
“This! Is Audrey, she’s our bassist,” Mark said, bringing the blue-haired, pale girl over. She rolled her eyes.
“Hi,” she said, adjusting the flower crown the rested upon her short-hair. “I think we met briefly before,” she commented towards Jack. “At a college party or some shit?”
“Probably, was your hair a different color then?” Jack asked.
“Yeah, hot pink,” she replied.
“I do know you!” Jack said.
“Yeah, you were the one who fucking spilled alcohol all over my dress,” she said, “No hard feelings though.”
“Where’s Claire at?” Mark interrupted, referring to the mysteriously absent guitarist.
“She’s off getting the mics checked. You know her, always on top of that stuff,” Audrey said, shrugging. Mark led Jack off the stage, sighing.
“You’ll have to meet her later,” he said.
“Odd bunch,” Jack commented, “I’m a little scared of that Audrey girl.”
“No need to be scared of her, she’s more bark than bite,” Mark responded.
“You still nervous?” Jack asked.
“A little bit, but that’s okay,” Mark replied, looking up as a blonde girl walked onto stage. “There’s Claire,” he said, walking over to her. “Claire, come meet my roommate.”
“Mmkay,” she said, “But the mall opens soon, so we need to be ready.”
“I know,” Mark said, leading her to where Jack was.
“Nice to meet you. I’m Claire, you’re?” she started.
“I’m Sean-,” he replied.
“-Gotcha,” she interrupted, “I’m the guitarist and I also do backup vocals.” Jack mentally noted that her perfectly straightened hair seemed to match her personality. Very to the point. “Now if I could take Mark off your hands, we have some last minute preparation to do. Are you even warmed up Mark?”
“A little-”
“A little isn’t enough…”
Their voices faded as they got further away, and Jack settled in, waiting for when the concert would eventually start. A few minutes passed and people began to surround him. Soon the area around him was completely filled with people. I hope Mark doesn’t find this too intimidating, he thought, eyes searching the crowd for familiar faces. He recognized a few of the people from college, but that was basically it. And then the band walked out. Claire walked up to the microphone, introducing them all and saying some other stuff. And then it started. Jack recognized the songs, he could picture Mark singing them in the shower, and humming them when cleaning, and the words were very meaningful. He could see traces of panic in Mark’s eyes, but it slowly disappeared as he focused on Jack.
I’m alone with him, Mark whispered mentally, And he doesn’t mind if I mess up.
And then came the end, the last song. The one Mark had sang to Jack in the car. The one that had clearly meant so much to him. At one part everyone in the crowd swore they saw tears on the singer’s face. He slipped up on one note, the color draining from his face, but the band was there to catch him, and he kept going, finishing the song powerfully despite the swarm of butterflies in his stomach. The crowd cheered, the applause thunderous. And Jack saw the joy-filled smile on Mark’s face. He had done it.
Jack waited until Mark was off of the stage, and then ran up and hugged him. “I told you you’d do great,” he said. He stared into Mark’s tear filled eyes, brushing the tears from his face. “You okay?”
“I’m great,” Mark said, grinning, “I’m really great.” Jack hugged him tighter.
“Aren’t ya glad you listened to me now?” Jack said, smirking. Mark blushed a little,
“Yess,” he said.
“It’s what I’m here for,” Jack said, but there was a twinge of sadness in his tone. They both knew why, but Mark was still in denial. Odds were very high that after he was done getting his master’s degree he’d have to go back to Ireland. And Jack had never said it out loud, that the reason he had stayed was Mark. He really didn’t need to go to college in America for four years, and when he realized at the end of those four years that he was in love with Mark he decided to stay and get his masters. Mark was taking a break, not ready to go on and get his masters, not to mention the expense. They could barely afford their apartment, and Jack was working all the time or at college, it just wasn’t the best situation. No matter how much Jack denied his need for sleep Mark could tell he was exhausted, and he could also tell Jack wanted to be able to go home more often.
“Let’s get out of here,” Mark said.
“Gonna leave Claire and friends to do all the work? Really?” Jack replied.
“Why do you insist that I be a good person?” Mark whined.
“Come on,” Jack said.
Not quite an hour later they were done, and ready to leave. They walked out with the band, and a out of nowhere a girl ran up to Mark, asking if he’d sign something for her. He agreed, surprised to be asked at all. Then she went to every other member, asking them as well. Jack saw a spark of hope in Mark’s eyes. I’m so happy for you, he thought, but he couldn’t help but feel slightly jealous.
They made their way to the car, getting in. Mark started it up. “So Mark, you going to tell me who that song’s about now?” Jack asked.
“Not while I’m driving,” Mark replied.
“You’re not driving,” Jack said.
“Now I am,” Mark said, pulling out of the parking space.
“You can’t hide his identity from me forever Mark,” Jack said, crossing his arms.
“Technically-”
“Mark, don’t even get all sciency on me,” Jack interrupted.
“I wasn’t going to get ‘sciency’,” Mark responded, heading onto the main-road. “Wanna take the scenic route?” Mark asked.
“Is that how long it’s going to take for you to explain to me who that song’s about?” Jack responded.
“You are very persistent. No, I just wanted to spend more time with you while you have the day off,” Mark said. Jack smiled,
“Okay, I’ll take that as an answer. Let’s go, scenic route it is.”
And that’s probably where they went wrong.
“Mark! Deer!” Jack exclaimed
“Fuck!” Mark exclaimed as the deer slipped out of some brush on the side of the road and he swerved to avoid it, and paired with the ice, this just caused the car to slide straight into a ditch. A cold snow-filled ditch. And a certain hypocrite wasn’t wearing a seat-belt, which caused him to be launched through the windshield.
Mark blinked, dazed, but the cold jolting him back into reality. He opened the door, crawling out of the car. He avoided the glass, heading over to where his roommate had landed. He appeared unconscious, but he was breathing. “Sean?” he whispered, shaking him. His eyes opened, Thank god, Mark thought.
“We fucked up,” he whispered hoarsely, but a ghost of a smile on his face.
“Just a bit,” Mark said, looking over at the totaled car. Guess we’ll be walking for awhile. His eyes closed. “Sean, you need to stay conscious,” Mark said softly. His eyes looked glassy, and he was covered in cuts.
“But Mark-,” he whined, voice cut off by a cough.
“I’m going to go find my phone, okay? You just focus on me, don’t close your eyes,” Mark said, heading over to the mess. Maybe it’s still drivable, it only rolled over like once, we’ll just need a new windshield, Mark thought, finding his phone and dialing 911. Outside Jack tried to focus on Mark, not how cold he was. But the pain was getting overwhelming. He saw darkness around the edges of his vision. Suddenly the cold didn’t seem so bad.
It’ll just be a second, then I’ll wake right back up.
Mark hung up his phone, wondering how long it’d be, glancing down the road. He headed back over to Jack, realizing he had fallen into unconsciousness. Mark shook him, but it wasn’t doing any good. He glanced around, Warm, some place warm… He finally just took off his own jacket and wrapped it around Jack. Yes, it was cold in his t-shirt, but Jack was in a more fragile state. He held him close. “Sean, please wake up,” he whispered, “I need you to hold on. Just a few more minutes.” He considered going back to the car, but really wouldn’t help. And then it started to snow. He sighed, mumbling, “Great timing.” He watched Jack’s eyelids flutter, and then his eyes opened. “What did I tell you?” Mark asked.
“Mark,” he mumbled.
“What?” Mark asked.
“Could you blow on my hands? They ache when they get too cold, and it really hurts,” Jack replied softly. Mark slipped the soaked gloves off of Jack’s hands. They were very cold to the touch. Mark brought them to his lips, blowing warm air on them.
“Is this helping at all?” Mark asked.
Jack smiled, “A-A bit.”
“Good,” Mark said. His eyes travelled to the road, silently hoping that they’d be here sooner rather than later. He was quite cold himself, but didn’t want to take his jacket back.
“M-Mark, will you t-tell me who th-that song’s about n-now?” Jack asked, eyes pleading.
“It’s…” Mark said, “Are you s-sure?”
“Yes, I am,” Jack said, voice softer than before.
“It’s about you,” Mark said.
“A-Are you saying you love me?” he asked.
“I...Yes. I love you,” Mark replied.
“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” he asked, a smile on his blueish lips.
Mark felt his heart skip a beat. “Because I was afraid.”
“Kiss me Mark,” he said, “Pllleasee?”
“Okay…” Mark murmured, gently using his hand to move Jack’s head towards him. Their lips met, Mark surprised at how cool yet smooth Jack’s were. As close as they were he could feel his roommate’s pounding heart, and for the first time since the crash he felt warm. By far what pulled Mark in further was the taste of his best friend’s breath, sweet, something he couldn’t put a name on, and the feeling of someone else breathing into his lungs, something he hadn’t experienced for a year and didn’t realize he was missing it. But he felt as though a missing piece of his heart had been returned to him. And then it was over, and he gently let Jack go. He saw the headlights of the ambulance through the snow. He kissed Jack on the forehead. “They’re going to fix you up,” he said softly.
“I know,” Jack replied, closing his eyes and once again fading from consciousness.
He opened his eyes. Mark was sitting in a chair, flipping through a gaming magazine. Just looking at him brought back the feel of Mark’s lips and the taste of his breath. He touched his own face, feeling some stitches. There was a cast on his wrist, and he assumed he had broken it based on the throbbing. Snow’s not as soft as I thought, he thought. Suddenly he felt Mark’s gaze on him. “How are you feeling?” Mark asked.
“Warm,” Jack replied, grinning and hugging himself.
“Nice,” Mark said. He bit his lip.
“What’s bothering you Mark?” Jack asked.
“I… I’ve been thinking about…the kiss… Are we a couple now? Or was that a ‘we might die’ kind of thing?”
“I’d like to think we’re a couple now,” Jack said, eyes sparkling hopefully. Mark smiled.
“Then it is so, boyfriend,” Mark said. Jack grinned,
“When can I get out of here, boyfriend?” Jack asked.
“Depends, we’ll have to ask a nurse, boyfriend,” Mark replied. They both started to laugh. “I-I’ll go find someone,” Mark said, getting up out his seat. “Boyfriend.” And with that he left in search of nurse. Jack poked at the IV stuck to his arm, eyes following the tubes. He wondered how long he’d been there. Seeing how minor his wounds were he assumed he hadn’t been here very long at all. Well, it could’ve been worse anyways.
Mark came in, chatting with the nurse. She came over, checking over Jack, before listing several rules related to his cast. ‘Avoid getting it wet!’ etc.
“So how long do I have to wear this?” he asked, gesturing towards the cast.
She smiled, “About six weeks. Maybe seven.” Jack sighed, this would certainly limit how much he could do at work and school. After brief discussion with the doctor, they were out of there. Mark opened the door of the rental car,
“You first.”
“You don’t have to open the door for me,” Jack said, reluctantly slipping into the passenger seat.
“Yes I do,” Mark responded, leaning in and kissing Jack on the forehead. He shut the door carefully, making his way over to the driver’s side.
“Try not to crash this time, would ya?” Jack said, a playful expression decorating his lips.
“No scenic route for us,” Mark replied. Out of no where Jack reached into the back-seat, grabbing an album from a mess of albums (rescued from their other car), including but not limited to Infinity On High, American Idiot, and Vessel. But the one he grabbed happened to be first and only album from Mark’s band. Five Nights was the title. One of Jack’s artsy friends had drawn the cover art. Jack put the CD in. “Why do you insist upon listening to my stuff?” Mark asked.
“Becauseee it is the bestt!” Jack exclaimed, turning the volume up, causing the beginning chords to explode from the speakers. Mark blushed, but loved seeing the special smile that was reserved for his music. He was surprised to find Jack mouthing the words to several of the songs when he thought Mark wasn’t looking. But maybe I shouldn’t be so surprised, Mark thought, He is my biggest fan after all.