Work Text:
This scene feels like what I once saw on a screen
I searched aurora borealis green
I've never seen someone lit from within
Blurring out my periphery
My smile is like I won a contest
And to hide that would be so dishonest
And it's fine to fake it 'til you make it
'Til you do, 'til it's true
Now it's like snow at the beach
Weird but fuckin' beautiful
Flying in a dream, stars by the pocketful
You wanting me tonight feels impossible
But it's comin' down, no sound, it's all around
Like snow on the beach
-"Snow on the Beach," Taylor Swift featuring Lana del Rey
Hwanwoong is thrilled when his agency informs him that he will be performing with Stray Kids' Hwang Hyunjin at MBC's year-end Music Festival. Although Hwanwoong has always been closest to Verivery's Yongseung in SOPA's graduating class of 2019, Hyunjin has always been a good hoobae whom Hwanwoong is quite fond of. Performing with such a talented artist as Hyunjin will be a joy. On a more practical level, Stray Kids' fortunes have been ever-rising lately, and it certainly can't hurt to be associated with them.
They decide to meet at JYP rather than RBW. Hwanwoong dutifully loads himself up into the van as his manager drives him across town to Hyunjin's agency.
After Hwanwoong arrives at the agency building, he is directed towards one of the practice rooms. When Hyunjin spots Hwanwoong, he smiles broadly. "Hyung!" he says happily, bounding towards Hwanwoong and hugging Hwanwoong tightly. "It's good to see you." Some of the other Stray Kids members are milling around the room, and Hwanwoong can feel someone's eyes on his skin. When he looks up, Stray Kids' main vocal, Kim Seungmin, is appraising him coolly. He looks surprised to be caught staring and quickly darts his eyes away. Strange.
One of Hyunjin's managers shepherds the rest of the Stray Kids members out, so that it's just Hyunjin and Hwanwoong left in the room.
"How have you been, hyung?" Hyunjin asks, tapping his fingers on the wooden floor.
"A lot of the year was spent touring, like you," Hwanwoong replies. "It's exhilarating, but it's also exhausting." Hyunjin nods in understanding. "How about you, Hyunjinnie? How have things been going?"
Hyunjin takes a deep breath. "It's been good, overall. I feel very lucky and blessed with how much love we've been receiving. I've gotten into painting since high school."
"Show me some of your pieces!" Hwanwoong demands excitedly. Hyunjin scrolls through some pictures on his phone, Hwanwoong oohing and aahing appropriately. "So talented," Hwanwoong smiles.
Hyunjin looks bashful. "Ah, thank you, hyung. We should probably get down to business, though."
Hwanwoong nods. "What kind of side do you want to showcase with this performance?" The two of them quickly get absorbed into their discussion of dance style, concept, and song.
They were sent three different choreographies, and they eventually decide on Gaho's "Right Now," a soulful modern dance routine about leaving behind sorrows and living life to the fullest. It's definitely a risky choice, more artistic than crowd-pleasing, but Hyunjin wants to showcase his modern dance on a bigger stage, and modern dance has always been one of Hwanwoong's strengths.
After following the routine a bit, they are satisfied with the progress they've made towards their performance. Checking for their belongings, they turn off the light before exiting the practice room.
Hwanwoong finds that he isn't totally surprised when he sees Seungmin loitering in the hallway, a hoodie swallowing his tall frame as he leans against the wall with his left hand in his pocket and his right hand scrolling on his phone. He looks very college boyfriend, Hwanwoong thinks to himself.
"Minnie!" Hyunjin says, surprised. "What are you still doing here? I told all of you there was no need to wait for me."
Seungmin shrugs, running his hand distractedly through his hair. "I had vocal practice and thought I would check if you were still here."
"Still here!" Hyunjin says sunnily, pulling a canteen from his bag and taking a sip.
Seungmin frowns. "Is that coffee?"
Hyunjin nods, and Hwanwoong is surprised to see Seungmin aggressively snatching the bottle away from Hyunjin. Seungmin looks like he's about to say something, but he gets cut off by a low rumbling sound. Hyunjin laughs. "Ah, don't mind my stomach," he says.
Seungmin looks even more unimpressed, if that was even possible. "Did you eat lunch?"
Hyunjin looks pensive. "Now that I think about it, I don't think I actually did," he replies. "Huh."
Seungmin nods at Hwanwoong, impressively somehow simultaneously polite and curt. "It's nice to meet you. Hyunjin and I will be going now."
Hwanwoong watches as Seungmin energetically marches Hyunjin away. Hwanwoong can hear bits and pieces of their conversation as he heads out himself. "You drink too much coffee." "You need to stop skipping meals." "You have to pay more attention to your health." All said in a distinctly forceful, nagging tone. Hwanwoong can hear the worry and care underneath the brusqueness, though.
***
Hwanwoong and Hyunjin are both busy with group schedules, so they do a bulk of their preparation for the performance separately, sometimes with the choreographer, sometimes without. However, on a Saturday, they're able to find a time to practice together.
When Hwanwoong enters the practice room, he spots Minho, who he had gotten to know through their 98 line "Tiger Inside" performance in 2021, and Seungmin.
It seems Seungmin had just arrived a little before Hwanwoong, because Minho asks him, "What are you doing here?"
"Monitoring Hyunjin's practice, just like you, hyung," Seungmin fires back.
Minho snorts, unimpressed. "Since when were you a member of Danceracha?"
Hwanwoong clears his throat discreetly, and everyone's attention snaps towards him.
"Hi hyung!" Hyunjin says cheerfully, waving in the middle of his stretching.
Minho smiles at Hwanwoong. "Hey, how you've been, man?" He extends his hand out for Hwanwoong to fist bump.
Seungmin is distinctly chillier, just nodding at Hwanwoong in acknowledgement, aloof.
Hyunjin seems to notice the tension between Hwanwoong and Seungmin and goes into overdrive trying to smooth it over. "Ah, Hwanwoong hyung, how was your trip over here? Is there anything I can get you? Water maybe? Do you want to stretch together?" Hwanwoong can't really get a word in edgewise.
"You're so sweet, Hyunjinnie. I have water in my bag. Let's stretch and get to work!"
As Minho had perhaps a little harshly pointed out, Seungmin is very much not trained in the discipline of dance. He looks slightly lost as they discuss the more granular, technical aspects of dance, trying to figure out how to synchronize their dancing, debating over stylistic choices, and so on. Hwanwoong wonders why Seungmin is even bothering to be there.
It's during one of their run throughs when Hwanwoong gets his answer. He inadvertently spots Seungmin out of the corner of his eye, and he is a little startled by what he finds. Seungmin's eyes are trained on Hyunjin, captivated, dazzled. He looks some combination of fond, proud, and bewitched. He looks, quite frankly, like a man in love, and Hwanwoong is a little taken aback by the intensity of emotion he sees in Seungmin. Bearing witness to the way Seungmin looks at Hyunjin, Hwanwoong thinks he understands the other boy a little better.
***
It's their second joint practice together. Minho and Seungmin are there again, and Seungmin's greeting is as icy as ever. Hyunjin purses his lips. "Hey, Seungmin, can we talk for a second?"
Seungmin shrugs but gets up from his perch on the bench at the back wall.
Hyunjin smiles apologetically at Hwanwoong. "Sorry, hyung. I promise this will be quick!"
Hwanwoong follows them out a couple paces behind, headed towards the restroom. They're on the opposite side of the hall from Hwanwoong, but they're speaking pretty loudly, so Hwanwoong can still hear them pretty well. A little nosy and curious, Hwanwoong listens to their conversation, his original intention of going to the bathroom forgotten.
"What is up with you lately?" Hyunjin asks. "You're not acting like yourself. You've been so cold and disrespectful to my sunbae."
"He's not your sunbae when it comes to the entertainment industry," Seungmin replies flippantly. "He debuted after us."
"He's still my hyung," Hyunjin snaps. "And you've still been rude. What is going on? What has Hwanwoong hyung ever done to you?"
There's a pregnant pause. "Nothing," Seungmin finally replies.
"If it's nothing, then why are you acting like this?"
"This performance is just taking time away from your practice with us. And it's making you so exhausted. And he seems a little fake."
"How would you know, Seungmin? You've barely even talked to him!"
"It's just a feeling that I get, Hyunjinnie." Seungmin's tone is a little patronizing. "I'm generally a good judge of character."
"Well, you've got it wrong this time, because hyung's great. As you would find out if you gave him a chance. Either play nice with him or stop coming to our practices. You know how delicate my reputation is, I can't afford to have Hwanwoong thinking that I'm speaking ill of him to you or something and that's why you're acting this way. The way you act reflects upon me, Seungmin."
"I'm sorry," Seungmin replies. The fight has gone out of his voice, and he sounds regretful and contrite. "I'm sorry, I didn't think about how it would reflect on you. I was thoughtless. I'll behave myself."
When Hwanwoong glances over at them, Seungmin's body is tilted towards Hyunjin, his hand outstretched like he's about to touch Hyunjin. He doesn't get a chance, though, because Hyunjin strides away. Seungmin's hand falls back to his side, limp.
Hwanwoong quickly darts into the bathroom before either of them spot him.
True to his word, Seungmin is a little warmer towards Hwanwoong after his disagreement with Hyunjin.
***
The next time they practice together, Hyunjin is blasting an OST over the speakers.
"What's the song title?" Hwanwoong asks Hyunjin. "It's good."
Hyunjin puffs his chest out with pride. It would be a little comical if he didn't look so earnest. "It's Seungminnie's new OST! It's titled 'Do you Know,' and it's for the drama My Best Friend's Wedding. It's good, isn't it? I've had it on loop for days!" Hyunjin gushes.
Hwanwoong peeks at Seungmin out of the corner of his eye. Seungmin is smiling brightly, looking pleased and a little smug. It's admittedly charming, the way Hyunjin and Seungmin are so invested and proud of each other's mastery of their respective crafts.
"You're my singer, Minnie!" Hyunjin announces emphatically. "No one can take you away from me!"
"No one is trying to take him away from you," Minho mutters under his breath drily. Hwanwoong coughs, trying to hide his laughter at Minho's witty remark.
Hwanwoong turns over Hyunjin's statement in his mind and looks carefully at Hyunjin. Hyunjin is beaming, looking at Seungmin like Seungmin has hung up all the stars up in the sky. He's radiating happiness, and it's in that moment that Hwanwoong realizes.
Seungmin doesn't have anything to worry about, because Hyunjin is in love with him, too.
Hwanwoong feels a set of complicated emotions as he comes to this realization. First of all, he's happy for them, that they've found each other. A little jealous, too—he doesn't think he's found his person yet. But he's also worried for them. Love as an idol is difficult, to say the least. And Korea doesn't look kindly upon homosexuality. They have their work cut out for them.
Still, as he looks at them, he feels hopeful that their love will be able to withstand the challenges. He wonders if they even notice that they're in love with each other. That they are each other's favorite person, that they hold the other closest to them in their heart, that they are each other's last thought when they go to sleep and their first thought when they wake up.
***
The performance ends up going smoothly. Hwanwoong crashes in Stray Kids' waiting room afterwards, breathing heavily as he lifts a fan to his face, tissue pressed between his forehead and his hair.
Hyunjin is breathing harshly too, but he lights up when his eyes meet Hwanwoong's. "We killed it, hyung!" he grins.
Hyunjin has always put 120% of himself into performances, and he's struggling to recover from the exertion. Seungmin is hovering around Hyunjin, looking like a worried mother hen.
When Hwanwoong has settled out, he gives Hyunjin a big hug, waves to the rest of the Stray Kids members, and heads out, returning to ONEUS' waiting room. That's that, he thinks.
***
Except a couple weeks later, he spots them when he is walking along the Han River. They're sitting on a bench next to one another, heads bent towards the other.
Seungmin turns to face Hyunjin and brushes a tendril of Hyunjin's hair back behind his ear. It's such a tender, intimate moment that Hwanwoong can't help but feel like he's intruding.
"I'm afraid," Hwanwoong hears Seungmin admit. "I'm afraid of unintentionally hurting you. That's the last thing I would want to do. What if we decide to be together and all I do is cause you pain instead of happiness?"
Hyunjin reaches for Seungmin's hand, rubbing patterns into his skin with his thumb. "You make me so happy already, Seungminnie. Even though disagreements and misunderstandings are inevitable, and hurt is inevitable, I trust you. I trust that you will always have good intentions and will always choose to try if we were to get into a relationship, even if it's hard."
Seungmin takes a deep breath. "I love you, Hyunjin," he confesses, surrenders. Presents his heart to Hyunjin on a silver platter and hopes that Hyunjin won't throw it away.
"I love you, too," Hyunjin murmurs, his lips infinitesimally closer to Seungmin's. When their lips meet, Hwanwoong has to stop himself from cheering.
Hwanwoong turns around and walks away in the opposite direction. He can't help the smile on his face. He wishes them well. He'll always be rooting for them. They deserve it.