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Piles upon piles of documents lay before me, filled with information that wasn’t my fault but that was my responsibility. I had never been allowed to read the documents I filed. I couldn’t decide if this was good, because I never had to know the truth, or bad, because I could have prevented all of this if I had known. And that was entirely a thought born from guilt. But it was still a thought I had many times, going through files that were years old, wondering if this documented experiment would’ve been my last straw, or perhaps that one. Maybe he would’ve poisoned my mind and we both would’ve been evil by the time Prince Aether returned.
I left the office to get some air and sun, walking up the impossibly tall staircase only to find that it was the middle of the night. Just as well, I thought. Might as well get some sleep then. The halls were unsurprisingly empty on my walk to my room. The darkness of the lab felt as though it had permeated the entire castle.
“Sucrose,” a voice said, and it was right behind my left ear, and I jumped away because it was impossible for him to be alive. I slammed into the wall and shot air out of my hand from sheer panic, and I hit nothing except the opposite wall.
My heart was pounding, hammering, my breathing high in my chest and frantic. I kept myself pressed against the wall for fear of him being behind me again. I slid down to sit, staring at the empty space on the opposite wall.
“Sucrose,” the voice said again, still behind me. This time, I kept very still. There was no way it was real. I was hearing phantoms. I was hearing memories. I was sleep deprived and hallucinating.
“Sucrose?” someone else, someone real, said from my right. I spun to face them, scrambling to stand up when I realized it was Lady Megistus.
“O-oh, Lady Megistus!” I said, still feeling frantic.
“Are you alright?” Lady Megistus asked. Her voice was always so gentle and kind. “You seem like you’ve just seen a ghost.”
My face paled. “I-I-“
“Oh my, excuse my insensitive wording,” she said, lifting her hands to rest on my shoulders. “You really did, didn’t you?”
Her hands were warm and I was so very tired. “I-I heard his voice…”
Lady Megistus’s mouth thinned, pressed to a line, and then she smiled and wrapped her arm around my shoulders. “Let me walk you to your room, then.”
“Thank you,” I said, and I really couldn’t say much else at that point.
We walked to my room and I didn’t hear him again, not when Lady Megistus left, not when I laid down to sleep, and not when I woke in the middle of the night from a nightmare I couldn’t remember.
The next morning, I met with Princess Lumine in the cleared out lab to get her help setting it up for our future experiments. Everything had been removed from it, all but the light fixtures on wood beams that crossed over our heads. The Princess had arrived in a sensible outfit, trousers under a sort of half-dress half-tunic, purple and gold, with her hair gathered up in a tight bun. She was prepared to work, and it was only fair for me to be as well.
“Good morning, Your Highness,” I said, stepping up to bow quickly before standing up as tall as her.
“Good morning, Sucrose,” she said, smiling at me. She seemed in a very good mood lately.
“Are you ready for today?” I asked, setting my notebook down on a temporary wooden table. “We have a lot to move around and set up.”
“I’m ready, excited even,” she said. “I’ve cleared my schedule for the day. What’s first?”
We first set up the tables, rolling out brand new wooden-topped tables on metal wheels to create a large six-table rectangle in the middle of the room. Next was the fragile instruments, all manner of which had to be unpacked from soft-packed boxes and crates to keep everything safe. I checked off instruments and machines from a list in my notebook, going off of a list from the Master’s Handbook on Alchemy. Lastly, we made a list of things we would need for future experiments. We had no materials, so we went through book after book on early alchemical experiments and made lists for things we would need. We needed a rudimentary understanding of the basics before we tried anything else. When we were done, Lumine seemed invigorated, while I was deflating fast.
“Same time tomorrow?” Lumine asked, eyes bright.
“If you can get materials in that time,” I said, trying to smile.
“I can get enough for one experiment, surely,” she said, turning to leave. “I’ll let you know by morning, alright?”
“Okay!” I called. She left the lab, the door echoing off the stones. When the lab was empty, it felt a lot less bright. It felt a lot less open. It felt like a tomb, the tall circular walls looming, trapping me in. It felt like a trap.
I left the lab swiftly, stopping by the office to put away my things, and then made my way out of the basement levels as if I were a child running from the dark. I all but exploded out the archway into the castle’s hallways and stopped to take a breath. The sun was setting, once again forcing me to live in perpetual darkness.
“Sucrose,” said a voice, and I almost thought it was happening again, but when I jumped and turned, it was Prince Aether standing in the hall.
“Oh!” I exclaimed, bowing quickly. “E-excuse me! Your Highness, I didn’t even see you.”
“It’s fine, are you okay?” he asked, stepping forward. “You seem… Jumpy.”
“Ah, I just- the lab is a difficult place to be, that’s all,” I said, trying to brush it off. Talking to him about this was out of the question. If I brought it up to him, if I worried him, I would surely get in trouble.
Prince Aether’s face darkened for a moment, before closing his eyes and sighing. “I’m sorry. I can’t imagine how difficult it must be for you to continue working there.”
“I-it’s fine, I promise,” I said, shaking my head. “There’s nothing to worry about. Now that the lab is cleaned up and full of new instruments, me and the Princess will be able to get right to work!”
He gave me a long look, before smiling hesitantly. “Okay.”
“Please excuse me,” I said, bowing again and then trying my best not to run away from him.
I rounded the hall and stopped to breathe, leaning on the wall to try and get my heart to calm down. It was just a lab, I told myself. It was just an extremely deep, dark, windowless, suffocating hole in the ground. It was just a lab.
“There you are,” Lady Megistus said. She came down the hall in front of me, her quick and sure steps feeling far more resonating than I thought they should. “I was going to walk you back tonight as well, if you wanted.”
I stared at her hand held out to me. Slowly, I took it, my own hand trembling. “Th-thank you.”
“I understand how distressing working there must be,” she said, hooking her elbow with mine as we began to walk. “There’s no way to tell time, let alone breathe fresh air.”
The words validated my thoughts, and loosened something in my chest. “I-I think I understand how both he and Alice went insane.”
Lady Megistus huffed a light laugh. “I think you’re right.”
I kept by her side, close, because she was safe and warm. I watched out the windows as we passed them. I wished the sun was still up so that I could relax in the garden, or have tea with Lady Megistus. I wished the lab wasn’t built like a tomb.
“You know, you could request a new lab built,” Lady Megistus said, eyeing me.
I shook my head fervently. “I could never ask the Royal Family to do such a thing.”
“It’s their responsibility to take care of their subjects,” Lady Megistus said. “If you need a lab above ground to work effectively, you should tell them that. It doesn’t even need to be about him.”
As we walked, I watched our feet. Lady Megistus’s steps were quick and sure, and I was always trying to keep up. “Maybe… Maybe I’ll bring it up to them.”
Lady Megistus let go of my arm when we reached my door. “Sleep well.”
“You too.”
It was weeks ago that I found it. A small, weathered, leather bound journal with a diamond design pressed into its cover. Albedo had said he burned it, according to Lumine. But after searching every hearth in the castle for any possible remnants, she and the Guard decided it was truly gone for good. Typical of Albedo to use misdirection.
I found it in a box on the bookshelf behind the large oak desk in the office. It was unassuming, gray, and dusty. I was cleaning everything out because this was supposed to be my office now. I opened the box and dropped it like it was on fire. The journal lay there, staring back at me. Slowly, I leaned down to pry it open. Truly, reading it was the last thing I wanted to do. But I knew I had to. If I was ever to be better than Albedo, succeed where he had failed, I needed to know what he had done.
I opened the journal to a later page. Albedo’s neat handwriting met me, detailing all manner of minor experiments on small animals and rocks and minerals. I flipped further, realizing the worst must be in the beginning, and wished I didn’t know that. The page I stopped on caught my eye because of the diagram on it.
The Lost Prince’s crown. Or, Prince Aether’s former crown. It was drawn in vivid detail, and each part of it had a small line drawn to the definition of the area. Under the diagram was a paragraph I wish I hadn’t read the moment I began.
The crown’s diamonds are the best possible material for melding. Because of their density, they are perfect for alchemical reactions that require high amounts of both mass and energy. With all five of the crown’s diamonds, melding should be a simple endeavor. I will have to use one or two to test it first, but I will need three whole diamonds intact in order to meld without issue, if my calculations are correct.
Images came to my mind before I could protect myself, and I felt bile rise in my throat. I threw the journal onto the desk and ran to the small bin for things like paper and heaved, trying not to vomit. My heart was pounding, my hands shaking, my forehead beading with sweat. The images.
Albedo had been planning on melding with King Ouranos. Fusing his body with the body of the King. Becoming the King. In the pages after that one, which I could only read after taking medication for my stomach, he detailed experiments on former prisoners sentenced to death. I refuse to repeat these experiments. The important thing was that Albedo had experimented, tortured, and mutilated human beings in the name of some sick fantasy of becoming King Ouranos. The thought made me dizzy all over again.
But there, in the office in the middle of the night, staring at the closed and bound journal with a glass of wine, which I had hoped would ease my tension and anxiety, I realized my duty went far beyond picking up Albedo’s pieces. My duty as the new Chief Royal Alchemist was not to pack up and hide away Albedo’s mistakes, his horrific actions, it was to repair the damage done by them. My duty was to bring some semblance of honor and trust back to the title of Chief Royal Alchemist.
Drunk on the finest of Mondstadt’s wines that I could swipe from the kitchen, I had a very clear and resolute thought: I’ll free every last one of them.
I’m still not entirely sure who I was talking about, perhaps the families of those that died in Albedo’s clutches, perhaps the people still trapped or forever changed by Albedo’s influence. Perhaps I was talking exclusively about Kaeya Alberich, in that regard.
Whatever the intention of my thought, the answer was given to me in a flash of bright light and a sudden wind that threw all the loose papers around the room into the air. In awe, I stared at the little green circle, with the Symbol of Barbatos shimmering under its surface, as it floated down onto the desk in front of me. I had just been gifted a Vision by Barbatos.
I told no one about it, but I think people could tell. Something was different after that. Not only was there a distinct new anxiety every time I went down into the lab, but there was also a madness that settled in my mind. I call it a madness because I began hearing voices and seeing shadows. I’m not sure this was the fault of the Vision, but the two events coincided with one another. All I know is that I was not hearing voices and seeing shadows before I received my Vision.
One late night, after being in the lab all day setting things up, trying to ignore the too frequent phantom noises that made me jump, I went to Lady Megistus’s study. It wasn’t quite as late as usual, I just couldn’t stand to be underground any longer. I knocked softly, and soon the door slowly opened.
“Sucrose,” Lady Megistus said, looking down at me in surprise. “It’s early. Are you alright?”
“Y-yes,” I said, then frowned. “Well, actually no.”
She reached to put her arm around my shoulders. “Come in, I’ve just made tea.”
I entered her beautiful study, full of books and Astrological instruments, and sat down with her at her tea table in the corner near a window. I felt calmer by the window, looking out at the wall and the city beyond. I felt safer.
“Has something happened?” Lady Megistus asked as she poured my tea.
“I… I received a Vision from Barbatos,” I said, taking the Vision from my pocket and cradling it in my palms.
“By the stars,” Lady Megistus breathed. “Congratulations!”
“Th-thank you.” I put it away, turning my troubled expression toward the window.
“Is something wrong?”
“I just…” I couldn’t verbalize it. I couldn’t tell her, could I? That wouldn’t be wise. Or would it?
Lady Megistus rested her hand on mine, warmth seeped through her glove to my cold knuckles. “You can talk to me, you know. I really would like to be your friend, someone to confide in.”
I looked at her, her open expression on her perfectly distinguished face, elegant in every way possible. She and I had never really spoken. Looking back, I think it was because I was always trailing behind Albedo. Perhaps Lady Megistus thought less of me back then because of that.
“We all need friends, especially in professions like ours,” she said, squeezing my hand.
“I…” I stared into her gorgeous clear blue eyes. “I found Albedo’s journal.”
Lady Megistus’s face changed quickly from friendly encouragement to shock and horror.
“He lied about burning it. He… I found all kinds of plans of his in there.” I did my best not to recall specifics. “He was… In one way or another, he was planning to usurp power from King Ouranos.”
“Archons,” Lady Megistus said under her breath.
“The crown, Prince Aether’s crown, was being used to…” I swallowed. “A-Albedo was torturing people, criminals. Those sentenced to death. I got my Vision after I found the journal.”
Lady Megistus stared at me, her hand still gripping mine.
“I just thought of the horrible things he had done, that someone had to not only clean up after him but had to make up for it somehow. Make reparations somehow.” I felt my gaze turn sharp at the table between us. “I wish I could do so much worse to him.”
Lady Megistus squeezed my hand again, then ran her fingers over the back of my hand, trying to soothe me. “I wish that as well…”
I sighed, taking my hand back from her and rubbing my face, shoving my glasses up out of the way. “I think you’re right. I need a lab above ground.”
“I really do think it would be a good change.”
“It’s more than that,” I said. She gave me a concerned look. “I see things down there, hear things… I think it’s just my anxiety, my mind playing tricks on me. But I can’t stand it anymore. I hear his voice calling me and I fear I’ll go insane and try to do what he did if I don’t get out of there.”
“You are nothing like he was,” Lady Megistus said swiftly. “Trust me when I say, you are nothing like he was. Proof of that is in your pocket.”
My hand rested on the pocket with my Vision inside.
“I’ll bring up the need for a lab above ground to Queen Asteria,” she went on. “She listens to me, she will understand.”
“The rest of what I told you-“
“I will keep it secret, don’t worry.” Lady Megistus sat up tall in her chair, crossing her arms over her chest. She looked out the window. “Perhaps we can find room around the garden?”
I shrugged. She turned her eyes back to me, the cold pools of blue softening.
“If you ever need someone to talk to, Sucrose, please don’t hesitate to come here.”
I found it in me to smile, just a small smile.
“Even if I’m busy divining, I will listen.”
“Thank you, Lady Megistus.” I sighed, finally relaxing back in my chair.
“Please, we’re friends,” she said, with a smile and a tittering laugh. “Call me Mona.”