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Wolfwood hates to admit how easily and quickly he’s kind of fallen in love with Vash the Stampede. He hates how he succumbed to Vash’s charms, something he never would have dreamed would happen. Because, let’s face it, it’s not like Vash is the most suave, most charming guy out there.
Yeah, Vash has a lot of good, admirable qualities. Anyone can see that when they take two seconds to really look at him outside of being Vash, the outlaw with a bounty on his head. He’s kind and self sacrificing. He’s gorgeous to look at, and strong. Vash is talented and has his moments of being graceful and smart and tactical.
Also, though, Vash is incredibly goofy. He’s often clumsy, and he gets himself stuck in absurd situations. He plays games with every kid he meets, and he’s not afraid to make a fool of himself. He can be so innocent and comical. Wolfwood understands how, at first glance, most people don’t realize that Vash is the most wanted man alive.
By all accounts, it should be a turn off for Wolfwood. Except, it’s not. Vash’s goofiness combined with what a genuine good person he is makes Wolfwood feel like he’s losing his mind constantly when he’s around Vash. He is so fond of him, so endeared, that it’s actually embarrassing. And, it’s the bane of Wolfwood’s existence.
*
Vash’s inexplicable need to help everyone extends beyond people. He’s got a soft spot for Toma, and lizards, and some birds. He always stops to pet cats, and he feeds stray dogs. Vash isn’t particularly what one would call an animal lover, they don’t ever flock to him. He just handles them with the same care, same devotion that he does everyone else on the planet. It’s sweet.
Vash doesn’t like all animals, though. The one type of creature that Vash does not like is bugs. And, he makes that pretty clear practically every time he sees one. Which is like… very often. He screams when there’s a lone spider in the sink at a motel they’re staying in, and one time he ran away from a dragonfly that was “chasing” him (really it just happened to be in the same area as him). His mercy does not extend to bugs, many of which usually get smacked with projectiles or met with a cry for help when the bug is particularly big or close to Vash.
It’s kind of ridiculous, but a lot of things about Vash are. It’s part of why Wolfwood loves likes him so much. He’s over the top and silly. Vash will handle any injury he or anyone else has and not bat an eye. He’s not squeamish, and he’s not grossed out easily. He’s brave, constantly putting himself in the line of fire if it means that everyone else is safe. But, for whatever reason, his courage is nonexistent when it comes to little, scampering creatures.
It’s a peaceful day. Wolfwood doesn’t get many peaceful days, so he takes them where he can get them. He is adamant that people don’t bother him on those days, the filler in between days where they are stuck in a town, planning their next moves, or waiting for something or someone. So, of course, as he’s settling down with a cup of coffee and a morning cigarette, he hears a scream from inside of the motel that they’re staying at.
Wolfwood, at first, ignores the yell, because he knows exactly who it’s from, and he knows that the situation isn’t dire. He’s been in enough life or death situations with Vash that he knows what is a real scream for help, and what is a scream for show, for dramatics. But then, the yelling continues, coupled with, “Wolfwood! Please! I need you.”
Wolfwood sighs, knowing that there is no way he’ll be let off the hook with this one. Besides, the quicker he resolves whatever the fuck it is that’s happening inside, the quicker he can get back to his peace and quiet. He stubs out his half smoked cigarette (like that’s anything new from his usual routine) and places the mug of coffee on the table of the porch he’s currently trying to relax on.
Wolfwood enters the room that he and Vash share to find exactly what he expects to find. But, it makes Wolfwood smile, because as over the top, as dramatic, as excitable as Vash is, he is incredibly adorable and he usually makes Wolfwood feel better about things in general.
“Wolfwood. Kill it!” Vash says, standing on top of the chair. Wolfwood almost laughs at how ridiculous the situation is. Vash is tall, and broad, and so the image of him, teetering on the chair, is pretty hilarious. Wolfwood leans against the doorframe and admires Vash, even though he is in the midst of panicking, screaming and pointing at the beetle crawling on the floor. He feels himself continue to smile at Vash like he’s a fool, even though Vash is the one currently acting like a fool, standing on the chair and yelling his head off. God, how can he be so fond of this guy? It’s unbelievable.
“Come on, Spikey. It’s just a little beetle,” Wolfwood finally says, not trying to hide his amusement at the situation. How can he? “You’re seriously scared of that?”
“Yes! Look at him! He’s practically ready to attack me,” Vash complains, pointing at the bug who is not even crawling in the direction of Vash.
“You’re delusional,” Wolfwood replies, but grabs a piece of newspaper and crouches down on the floor. Wolfwood spends a few moments trying to coax the bug onto the newspaper, while Vash continues screaming bloody murder. “It’s a miracle no one is rushing over here, thinking that you’re in the midst of being murder,” Wolfwood complains when he finally stands with the bug, who is crawling happily on the newspaper.
“What are you doing with him?” Vash asks, his tone fearful.
“Releasing him outside,” Wolfwood replies, walking out of their room and going outside. Vash follows a few feet behind him, complaining the whole time.
“Wolfwood. He’s going to come back inside once you release him. Why aren’t you killing him? He is probably going to be plotting revenge on me! What if I wake up in the middle of the night and he’s crawled on my face? Then what?” Vash whines all of the way out the door. Wolfwood, for good measure, walks a few feet away from the building, for Vash’s peace of mind that the bug isn’t going to come back for him, but also for his own because he’s not sure how much more of Vash’s theatrics he can take that early.
“It’s astounding that your inability to kill doesn’t include bugs,” Wolfwood says as he gently shakes the newspaper. Vash jumps as he does so, even though once the bug is on the ground, he hauls ass in the opposite direction of Vash. Wolfwood doesn’t blame him- all of that screaming was probably terrifying.
“Bugs are evil,” Vash replies, a light frown on his face. “I’m serious, Nick. What if he comes back tonight?”
“I’ll protect you,” Wolfwood says before he can stop himself, and as he does so he feels himself blush. God, something about the early morning and lack of caffeine always makes his brain to mouth filter nonexistent. He internally curses himself for being such a soppy idiot.
His comment makes Vash shut his mouth, and Wolfwood is grateful for the silence. But, it doesn’t last long, because Vash continues on, teasing him, saying, “Aw Nick!! My hero!” Wolfwood rolls his eyes at Vash’s teasing, but doesn’t protest.
It’s nice to hear Vash say that, even if he’s joking.
*
It’s been a long day.
Most days are incredibly long, and painful, and exhausting. It’s nothing new and it doesn’t come as a shock usually. It’s part of their life. An unfortunate part, but one that should be expected.
But, it’s been a particularly nasty experience. They’ve been running since pretty much the second they woke up because there’s been not one, not two, but three separate groups of people trying to pin down Vash. Wolfwood knows for a fact that Vash’s wanted poster says dead or alive, but the way these people were shooting, it seemed like they checked out after they read the dead part of that statement.
The group, as usual, made it to safety by the skin of their teeth. It’s not until nightfall that they achieve this though, and it’s freezing cold. They set up camp, and have a meager dinner. There is little conversation between Wolfwood, Vash, Meryl, and Milly, but Wolfwood assumes that’s mainly because they’re all dead tired. Meryl just about falls asleep on her plate, and basically the second dinner is over, she slunks into her tent and passes out. Both Milly and Vash are uncharacteristically quiet, and Wolfwood doesn’t feel like being one to spearhead the conversation.
Wolfwood stands up and walks some distance away, just to clear his head and stop his mind from racing. His body is tired, but his brain is still wired from the events of the day. It always takes him a long time to get his mind out of fight or flight mode, especially when he’s been fighting and running around all day. He’s not sure how long he walks for, but eventually his eyelids are starting to droop. It’s his sign to go back to camp, because he knows that the second he lays down, he’ll knock out.
As Wolfwood makes his way back to where they have tents set up, he hears some voices. He stops dead in his tracks and listens, before slinking behind the tent the girls share. It takes him a second, probably because he’s so tired that he feels out of it, but he eventually realizes it’s just Vash and Milly talking.
He tries not to eavesdrop, because that is wrong (even though Wolfwood is no stranger to sometimes ignoring the right thing to do), but he’s curious. What could they be talking about? So, he keeps listening.
“You really should have said something,” Vash says, his voice equal parts worried and chastising. “This could have gotten infected, or you could have bled out.”
“It’s not that much, Vash,” Milly replies. Wolfwood hears her make a noise of discomfort, a little squeak of pain, and Vash sighs in response.
“You’re tough, Milly. Most people would have had a bullet graze their shoulder and immediately called it quits,” Vash says. At that, Wolfwood peaks his head from around the side of the tent and watches as Vash inspects Milly’s shoulder, a cloth in hand. Wolfwood can’t see the wound that Milly clearly has, but he imagines that it has to be painful. He’s no stranger to bullet wounds, and he knows how awful they can feel, especially after the first time you’re shot.
“I thought about it,” Milly starts saying, “But then I looked at everything happening, how hard you and Mr. Wolfwood and Meryl were fighting, and I figured I should suck it up. We didn’t have time to waste.”
Wolfwood frowns upon hearing that. The similarities between Milly and Vash always have Wolfwood’s head spinning. They’re both so good, so kind and sweet. They care so much for others, that often, their own needs are pushed to the side.
It’s also incredibly frustrating, especially when Wolfwood is fond of both of them and wants to keep them alive. He wonders how the two of them are still living. He assumes it’s because Vash is just too quick and heals pretty easily, and Milly just hasn’t faced enough danger to find herself dead yet. Plus, Vash would probably do everything in his power to keep Milly safe, so that helps.
“I think you’ll be okay,” Vash responds to Milly after a few seconds of silence. He reaches into the bag beside him and pulls out a bandage. “I’m going to wrap you up, and we should keep an eye on it, but it’s not particularly deep.” Milly nods and Vash begins to slowly, gingerly, bandage up a spot on Milly’s shoulder. Wolfwood watches the scene, a small smile on his face. He’s not happy about Milly getting hurt (obviously), but rather feels enamored with how much Vash cares for other people. Vash is many things. He is clumsy at times, and he’s been known to level a town or two (or several). He, also though, can be graceful and gentle, loving and sweet, and this is one of those times.
Wolfwood knows that Vash is being extra careful with Milly because he feels bad. He would treat Milly with great care, no matter how she was hurt. But because she was hurt from being around him, injured from traveling with Vash the Stampede, Wolfwood knows he feels guilty. He also knows that Vash will never bring it up, not to Milly or Meryl or even Wolfwood himself, because Vash likes to suffer in silence. He holds his emotions close, and rarely ever discloses his true feelings.
Wolfwood wishes that Vash didn’t feel like he had to keep his thoughts to himself, and that he could feel like he had people he could confide in. But, Vash is also a gigantic stubborn asshole sometimes, and emotional vulnerability is a work in progress, so Wolfwood lets it slide. Fow now.
“Do you think you need to go to a clinic to get it looked at? I don’t think we can go back to that town, but maybe there’s another close by?” Vash offers when he is close to finishing bandaging Milly up.
Milly shakes her head no. “I’ll be okay. Thank you, Vash. It feels better already.”
“Okay. Now get some sleep. Doctor’s orders!” Vash says, the vulnerable, genuine moment between them over. Vash easily slides on his persona like it’s a mask, and it works, because Milly giggles.
“Yes doctor!” she replies, saluting Vash with her good arm. She stands, and goes to turn away, before looking at Vash and smiling. “Thank you again, Mr. Vash.”
“Anytime Miss Milly,” Vash replies. As Milly turns, Wolfwood hides behind the tent, holding his breath until Milly goes inside. He waits a few moments before walking around the tent, entering the center of the little camp they set up.
“Hey. Thought we maybe lost you for a second there,” Vash said, raising a hand lazily in Wolfwood’s direction. He doesn’t look though, because he’s looking towards the sky. Wolfwood wonders what he’s thinking about.
“Never. Just had to clear my head,” Wolfwood said, taking a seat next to Vash. He sits for a few moments, debating what to do next. Finally, Wolfwood decides it’s alright to lay his head on Vash’s shoulder, so he does. Vash wraps an arm around Wolfwood, looping it around his shoulders. It’s a simple gesture, and probably not the most comfortable position for either of them. But, Wolfwood is tired, and Vash is warm and comfortable, so he quickly and easily falls asleep to the sound of Vash’s quiet breaths.
*
It’s no secret Wolfwood’s got a soft spot for kids. He’d do almost anything for the kids at the orphanage (clearly, given the way he takes on all these odd, shitty, morally corrupt jobs to help them out). Whenever their little group comes in contact with any of the kids in the towns they find, Wolfwood is one of the first to always go up to the kids, to give them food, to help them out. It’s in his nature. He doesn’t think he’s a good person, but he cares about kids, and he thinks that counts for something.
He helps kids however he can, but Vash is the one who is best with them. It’s like he speaks a special language that only he and kids understand, Wolfwood thought one day while Vash played a game of hide and seek with a girl and her brother whose father had recently disappeared. He gets on their level and works to understand them. Vash plays every type of game with them under the sun, lets them climb on him, chases them, buys them ice cream.
It’s been a particularly hot day, and all Wolfwood wants to do is get some water and find somewhere cold to relax. The group breaks off to do their own things (Meryl and Milly have someone from their company they have to check in with, Vash is drawn in by some kids playing a game of tag). Wolfwood wanders for a bit, not so discreetly scoping the place out in the process.
As he’s walking, Wolfwood feels someone bump into his back. He turns, ready to start an argument with whoever it was, only to find Vash. He’s smiling, his big, goofy, infectious smile, and dramatically exclaiming, “Wolfwood! Help me!” It’s the smile that gives it away as a joke, and doesn’t make Wolfwood immediately defensive that someone bad is after Vash. In addition, the group of kids chasing after Vash. is a dead give away. Wolfwood can’t really figure out what game they’re playing, but it’s clear that Vash is the target and the objective of the game is to hunt him down.
Wolfwood smiles, and wraps his arms around Vash. “Oh, thank god,” Vash says, clearly thinking that Wolfwood is trying to help him. He’s in for a rude awakening, Wolfwood thinks while on the verge of laughter.
Subverting Vash’s expectations, Wolfwood yells, “Hey kids! I got him!”
Vash lets out a loud, dramatic gasp. “Traitor! How could you?!” Vash exclaims, unable to contain his laughter. He squirms against Wolfwood’s grasp, but Wolfwood knows that he isn’t struggling with all his strength. Vash isn’t trying to get away from him. It’s all part of the game. Wolfwood grins harder, and presses a soft kiss against the top of Vash’s head. He’s too adorable.
Just as the kids are closing in, Wolfwood lets go. Vash crumples to the floor for a second, before jumping to his feet, taking off in the opposite direction. Wolfwood watches as Vash sprints away, a gaggle of kids running after him, yelling. “So much for being discreet,” Wolfwood says to himself, and smiles, even though with all of the attention Vash is bringing to himself, they won’t last in this town for more than two hours. If someone doesn’t recognize him as Vash the Stampede soon, it’ll be a fucking miracle. Wolfwood is religious, but he’s not that religious. He wanders off to find Milly and Meryl, knowing that their time in the town is limited. But, he doesn’t even care, because Vash is having fun, and who is he to take that from him?
*
Wolfwood thinks that he and Vash get along well enough, for all intents and purposes. Even before they partaking in this complicated relationship that they currently find themselves in, they liked each other. He thinks that Vash is funny (and cute and endearing) and Vash seems to enjoy his company, for some reason. They’re similar enough that they get on extremely well.
But, they’re also quite different. And so, they also tend to butt heads, and pretty often. It’s not even just about the stark difference of their opinions on morality and right and wrong. It’s also the small things that add up. They have different routines, and different tastes. Wolfwood likes mornings, while Vash can stay up all night. Wolfwood has crazy insomnia, but when he’s laying down, Vash can pass out almost instantly. And, those are just some of their differences. There are many others that affect their relationship.
Like when they’re sharing a hotel room and Vash decides to take out all of the contents of his bag and scatter them across the room. Wolfwood’s not the neatest guy out there, but to him, it just doesn’t make sense. When they could be forced to leave at any moment’s notice, in Wolfwood’s opinion, it just makes sense to keep everything in one place. Why would Vash even do that? It was just plain stupid.
“You planning on moving here permanently?” Wolfwood teases from where he’s sat on the bed. He watches as Vash carefully takes out basically everything he owns. Wolfwood loves watching Vash, even when he’s being asinine.
Vash laughs, a loud laugh, and responds with, “It’s no castle, but anywhere is better than a tent,” which Wolfwood agrees with wholeheartedly. But, it doesn’t deter him. Vash continues to set everything out. And slowly, throughout the rest of the course of the day, as Vash uses the things he’s unpacked, he begins to leave them in increasingly odd places. Wolfwood finds a comb in the shower, and Vash’s glasses are stupidly placed on a chair for anyone and everyone to sit on, and in the sink is a shirt that is stained with days old dried blood. It’s slowly making Wolfwood more and more crazy. Partially because it’s dumb, but also because all of Vash’s stuff is getting in his way.
The final straw though, is when Wolfwood trips on the shoes that Vash haphazardly had thrown off upon entering the room. Wolfwood knows it’s partially his fault, because Vash’s big ass black shoes should be kinda hard to miss, but instead he chooses to be annoyed at Vash, because Vash has really gotta get his shit under control.
“Hey, Needle Noggin!” Wolfwood barks out, yelling to Vash, even though he is just in the next room over. Vash peaks his head out from the bathroom, toothbrush shoved into his mouth. Wolfwood stares at him fondly for a second, even though he has toothpaste dripping down his chin, before remembering why he called him. “Clean up your damn shoes! I almost died tripping on them. And while I’m thinking of it, clean up the rest of your stuff! Why is all your junk everywhere?”
Vash recedes into the bathroom, and Wolfwood hears a spitting noise and the sink running. Vash comes back seconds later, without his toothbrush, but he has a smirk on his face. “Alright. Just give me a second, I’ll get to it eventually. We have all night.”
Wolfwood rolls his eyes, knowing that Vash will procrastinate all night on it, and goes into the bathroom. The first thing he sees is Vash’s toothbrush just lying on the counter, along with his toothpaste (with the cap off) sitting there. His jaw drops in shock, and he knows that now Vash is doing it, leaving his stuff everywhere, on purpose to rile him up. Despite the fact that Wolfwood logically knows this, he lets himself get (embarrassingly) pissed off. He stomps out of the bathroom. Vash is clearly looking, watching, waiting for Wolfwood to come out to see his reaction. But, as soon as he and Wolfwood make eye contact, he looks away, in an incredibly piss poor attempt to make it seem like he was never watching for him.
The little shit. Wolfwood can’t help that, despite how pissed off Vash makes him feel, he continues to think he’s incredibly adorable, and ridiculous, and quite mortifyingly, the person Wolfwood loves most in his stupid life.
Wolfwood charges toward Vash. “It’s mind blowing that you can continue to be so annoying, but so endearing,” Wolfwood says as he pushes Vash up against the wall without any real malice or ill intent. Vash laughs, the pretty, loud, infectious laugh he does, and it makes Wolfwood that much more insane. “It’s like you’re trying to piss me off.”
“That was kind of the goal. Took you long enough,” Vash teases, a glint in his eyes which tells Wolfwood exactly where Vash intends for this interaction to go.
And, because Wolfwood is a sucker, because Vash has him wrapped around his finger, he falls for it, and begins kissing Vash, forcefully. “You’re a real piece of work, you know that?” he says as he pulls away from Vash. He shoves Vash towards the shitty, creaky hotel bed, just hard enough so that Vash falls down onto it. Vash smiles, clearly pleased with where this is going, and Wolfwood knows that he’s terminal for Vash. As he pulls off his shirt, he knows that he’s always going to be madly in love with the Humanoid Typhoon.
Milly and Meryl don’t see them emerge from their room until much later that night.
*
Wolfwood thinks, for the hundredth thousandth time, that Vash is an angel on earth. He thinks that he’s gorgeous, and he’s kind, and he’s so good, truly righteous. In Wolfwood’s opinion, Vash is exactly what an angel should be, and beyond that, Vash is what he thinks everyone’s prototype of one should be.
This time, he’s thinking it specifically though, because Vash just jumped in front of a bullet for him. He probably saved his life in the process, Wolfwood thinks as he kneels down next to Vash, who is currently gritting his teeth, a bullet lodged in his arm.
Wolfwood is usually pretty vigilant. He’s supposed to be on top of that stuff. He’s the one supposed to be keeping Vash safe. But, he got too cocky, he slipped up. He wasn’t paying enough attention And now, Vash is the one taking the fall for it.
“You’re an idiot,” Wolfwood says, and Vash laughs a little, despite the fact that he’s clearly in pain. He’s just well versed enough in “Wolfwood speak” to know that when Wolfwood says he’s an idiot, he means it fondly. “Why did you do that?”
“Because it would have hurt you,” Vash says simply, like it was just a fact of life, that Vash would do whatever it took to keep Wolfwood safe, even if it meant hurting himself. “Look in my bag. I’ll be okay, but we gotta get this cleaned up.”
Wolfwood looks in Vash’s bag and pulls out some rubbing alcohol, gauze, and bandages as Vash carefully takes off his jacket. Wolfwood looks away from the wound, partially because he can feel himself growing guilitier and guiltier by the second, and partially because it is kinda gross how Vash’s body is able to push out bullets. Wolfwood is grateful when Vash finally says, “okay. I can pull it the rest of the way out. Get the rubbing alcohol ready.” Wolfwood looks back down just as Vash pulls the bullet out and chucks it across the way.
Wolfwood pours some of the alcohol out and gingerly begins to clean Vash’s wound. He tries not to panic when he sees how quickly the gauze becomes soaked with blood. He knows that Vash was, to some extent, incredibly hard to kill. This wound, his probably hundredth, maybe even thousandth, injury, would not be the death of him. But, Wolfwood thinks bitterly, what if it’s the final straw? What if this is what kills Vash the Stampede? What if it’s all Wolfwood’s fault?
He doesn’t think he could live with himself.
“Stop frowning. You’ll get wrinkles,” Vash teases, sounding far too chipper for someone who, just moments ago, had a bullet lodged in him. Vash is strange, and it’s part of the reason Wolfwood loves him, but the difference between what Vash is saying and the situation at hand is kind of jarring. It’s not even like this is the first time Wolfwood has tended to a wound. He’s done it a million times.
It’s the fact that it’s Vash, someone that he’s grown to love intensely and completely (perhaps too intensely given their circumstances), and the fact that it’s his fault that Vash is even hurt, coupled with the fact that Vash is acting like it’s no big deal. That’s what’s getting to him.
“I don’t know how you can act like this is fucking nothing,” Wolfwood says. He knows that he sounds angry, and he’s not angry at Vash (okay- maybe he is a little). He’s mostly mad at their situation. That Vash even has to be put in the position to protect him. Hell, he’s also mad that Vash is a self sacrificing moron with a death wish, because if Vash wasn’t, it would be Wolfwood with the bullet in him right now.
Vash did nothing to deserve this, just like how Wolfwood did nothing to deserve someone like Vash protecting him. It’s fucked up how life turns out.
Vash is quiet for a few seconds, before saying, “It is nothing though. I would do it again for you, Wolfwood. I’ve taken a bullet for way less, for people who I don’t even care about.” Vash sighs.
“That’s fucked,” Wolfwood says after it’s turn to be silent. He feels his face start to get hot and he’s definitely not about to tear up a little. He’s not even sure what’s making him more upset- the fact that Vash got hurt or the fact that he feels like he’s tricked Vash into thinking that Wolfwood is something worth protecting. He picks up the bandage in an attempt to refrain from looking at Vash’s face and begins wrapping Vash’s arm. “You shouldn’t have to do that for me.”
“But I want to,” Vash replies forcefully. “I wish you would get your head out of your ass once in a while. I did this because I want to. I care about you, and it would eat me up if you got hurt, just like it’s eating you up right now that I’m hurt.”
Wolfwood looks up at Vash’s face finally and meets his eyes. He looks for any trace of insincerity in Vash’s face, and comes up empty. It doesn’t compute when Vash cares about him in that way. It doesn’t make sense to Wolfwood. He sees all of his shortcomings, all of the terrible things about himself. Wolfwood isn’t even sure who he is most days, doesn’t know what he believes in.
But, Vash seems to understand Wolfwood better than he gets himself, and it’s scary. It makes him feel vulnerable, exposed. And yet, it feels oddly nice. To be understood. To be cared about. Wolfwood knows that the number of people who have truly cared about him in his life is close to (if not actually) nonexistent. But, here is Vash, the most true and genuine and caring person on the planet, telling him that he’s maybe actually worth something? It’s dizzying.
It’s too much for Wolfwood to take, and he knows he’s staring at Vash with an odd, fond expression on his face. But he can’t stop doing it. He also isn’t quite sure how to respond to Vash, even though the longer he stays silent, the weirder it gets. Finally, Wolfwood finds his voice and settles on saying, “Jesus, are you used to making all the boys cry, Needle Noggin? What is going on here?”
Vash laughs and the moment is over. Wolfwood finishes bandaging Vash up, mostly relieved that the vulnerability is over, but still feeling oddly touched by the whole exchange. Vash kisses him as a thank you, and it means a lot to Wolfwood, since they rarely ever do so. He knows he’ll always hold the memory of the kiss close to his heart.
He can’t imagine life without Vash. He knows that Vash is too good for him, and that he’s grown too attached far too quickly to Vash. But, Wolfwood thinks, whatever time he can get with him is more than he deserves. He also knows that it’ll never be enough, and that he’ll always crave more of Vash.
That’s nothing new. Wolfwood has always been too greedy, and he’ll take more than he should want or need of Vash. He loves him, and Vash, for some reason, loves him back, even if it’s only a fraction of what Wolfwood feels for him. It’s unbelievable, but Wolfwood knows better than to look a gift horse in the mouth. Besides, nothing lasts forever, and why shouldn’t he enjoy it while he has it?
+1
Vash has nightmares. Often. It didn’t take too long for Wolfwood to realize that he had nightmares almost every night. Sometimes (usually) it’s not super obvious. Vash mostly just appears restless. But sometimes, it’s clear that Vash is having a nightmare. He talks in his sleep, and will jerk awake, and sometimes he’ll start crying. On the days that follow those nights, Vash appears dull, tired. It’s hard to forget that Vash is pretty sad, pretty haunted, when a good chunk of the time, he’s outwardly happy, lively. He’s a good actor, unless you spend more than five minutes with the guy.
Since they started sleeping next to each other, or in the same bed as one another when they have the chance, Wolfwood has tried to figure out the best way to broach the subject. He’s not sure if he should wake Vash up when he’s having a nightmare, or if he should let it go. Part of him thinks that maybe Vash would like it if he woke him up to stop the nightmare, but then again he doesn’t want to embarrass him. They already toe such a fine line between being madly in love and pushing each other’s buttons. Wolfwood doesn’t want Vash to think he’s making fun of him.
Besides, Wolfwood also has never been particularly good about offering comfort to others. He tries, but he always feels awkward. Everything he does just feels strange, off kilter. He doesn’t want to make things worse for Vash, because Vash has a hard enough time as it is. Wolfwood worries that if he tried to help, it would just make Vash uncomfortable, or self conscious, or upset, or-
Wolfwood is shaken from his thoughts by Vash turning over. It had been a quiet night so far, one of the only nights that Wolfwood has had since he and Vash became a thing that’s been (so far) devoid of nightmares. Wolfwood waits with bated breath to listen for the tell tale signs of Vash having a nightmare. And, of course, Vash begins to become restless. He shuffles around a few times, and huffs, and his eyes get screwed up tightly. Wolfwood watches, and internally debates what he should do.
Wolfwood, potentially foolishly, finally reaches out in Vash’s direction and gently jostles Vash. “Hey. Vash. Wake up. Vash,” he whispers. He gradually lets his shakes get harder, his voice a little louder, until Vash’s eyes shoot open and Vash sits up. He takes in a deep breath and looks around, before the tension visibly leaves his body and Vash lays back down.
“Oh. It was a dream,” Vash says, sounding surprised, confused. He rubs his eyes and gives a little laugh, that sounds suspiciously watery and very much not like one of Vash’s patented laughs.
Wolfwood feels a pit beginning to form in his stomach as Vash whispers a quiet, “Sorry,” and turns so his back is facing Wolfwood.
Wolfwood wants to ask what he was dreaming about, but he knows that it would probably make Vash shut down. He and Vash, for all of the things they have been through together, are still incredibly secretive about a lot of things, and Wolfwood thinks they always will be. It’s part of their respective natures to be cagey little shits about things. So, he keeps his mouth shut and instead reaches out to rub circles on Vash’s back. He’s hesitant at first, only because he’s worried that Vash won’t want his comfort, but Vash doesn’t protest.
“It’s okay. You don’t have to apologize,” Wolfwood finally responds. He debates what to say next, because he’s never been good with words (one of the many reasons he’s a shit priest), but he has to try. He breathes out a sigh before saying, “Is… is everything okay?” Wolfwood cringes at himself, because God, Vash obviously isn’t okay. “Is there… anything I can do?”
Vash turns over finally and looks up at Wolfwood. It’s clear he’s been crying a little, and Wolfwood just feels worse and worse about having woken Vash up. Maybe, if he had just slept, he would have gotten out of the nightmare, and wouldn’t have cried. Wolfwood feels like a dick for making Vash cry, and even worse for making him cry and not even being able to do anything to fix it. “No, it’s okay,” Vash replies. “It happens, sometimes. Nightmares.”
Sometimes? Try most nights Wolfwood’s brain unhelpfully supplies, but he doesn’t say that. “I’m sorry,” is what Wolfwood actually says. Unsure of what else to do, he reaches out and runs a hand through Vash’s hair, scratching at his scalp. Vash seems to nuzzle in closer to his touch, and he lets out a contented sigh. “Listen,” Wolfwood adds, before he can stop himself. “Uh. If there’s anything I can do. If you like… want to talk about it, I’m here.” Wolfwood feels like he’s just making the situation worse and worse, but he can’t stop. To shut himself up, and because he knows that Vash likes it, and he loves Vash, he presses a kiss to Vash’s forehead.
As Wolfwood pulls away, Vash looks up at him with a strange expression, one that Wolfwood can’t really put his finger on. He’s looking at Wolfwood like he wants to say something to him, but he’s holding himself back. Wolfwood braces himself to hear Vash call him a moron or something of the sort, when Vash suddenly sits up and pulls Wolfwood into a kiss. He’s shocked for two seconds, before he melts into Vash’s embrace. They kiss for a few moments, when Vash finally pulls away.
“Sorry,” Vash says again for the second time in three minutes, and Wolfwood wants to tell him to stop apologizing when he doesn’t have to, when he has no reason to. “I appreciate it. I appreciate you,” Vash says, and to punctuate his point, he presses another kiss to Wolfwood’s mouth.
“What?” Wolfwood says, kind of confused about what’s happening.
Vash giggles and leans his head against Wolfwood’s shoulder. “I appreciate you being there for me. People usually aren’t, and it was nice to have you here, and to feel like you are there to listen to me. To care for me.”
Wolfwood feels angry that his piss poor comforting skills are what made Vash feel special, because he was doing literally the bare minimum. It makes him irate when he thinks about the treatment that Vash has gotten over the years, treatment that is uncalled for and definitely not deserved, even if Vash feels like he does deserve it. Wolfwood silently vows to do better, to be better for Vash, because his shitty attempt at comforting should not be what Vash aspires to have in a relationship. Vash should want more, because Vash deserves more, and Wolfwood must get better at showing it.
“I care about you. Always,” Wolfwood says, not voicing anything that he thought internally. He’s sure that one day, he’ll be better at showing Vash how head over heels in love with him he is, how fond he is of him. He presses another kiss to the top of Vash’s head and they sit like that for most of the rest of the night.