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Making his way across the freshly mowed grass, various Easter-themed decorations around him, Grant keeps a secure hold on his son’s legs, the little boy sitting happily on his shoulders with his small hands clasped together beneath Grant’s chin. The spring air billows all around them as they go, the bright sun shining down and keeping them warm, a cacophony of voices and sounds surrounding them on all sides.
He does his best to avoid running into anyone as he walks, the large field filled with people from all over the county who are there for the annual Easter celebration. It feels like a lifetime has passed since he’s been to an event like this (he certainly feels like a different person now), but it doesn’t stop the barrage of childhood memories from flooding to the forefront of his mind. And not all of them are pleasant.
“Daddy, I'm hungry.”
Glancing up at his son, Grant smiles and adjusts his hold on his son’s legs to keep him steady. “You are?”
Adian nods, looking down at him. “Yeah. Mommy, I'm hungry.”
“You ate before we left, baby,” Skye responds easily.
“But I'm still hungry,” Adian complains.
“And after we're all done here we're going to go to your Aunt Rose's house for lunch,” she reminds him.
Adian groans. “I don't wanna wait.”
“You will unless you want to go home right now and not have any fun today.”
Adian sighs loudly and dramatically, flopping forward over the top of Grant's head and letting his arms hang down. “Fine.”
Grant laughs quietly and looks down at his wife, using his arm that’s already wrapped around her waist to pull her even closer to him and press a kiss to her temple. “I love you.”
“I love you too, babe.”
“Mommy! Daddy!” Adian shouts a moment later, sitting up and bouncing eagerly on Grant’s shoulders while pointing somewhere ahead of him, his hunger seemingly forgotten. At least for the time being. “Look! Lookit! The Easter Bunny!”
Grant chuckles quietly at his son’s enthusiasm for the large furry holiday mascot. He never had quite the same level of enthusiasm as a child, but he’s glad his son gets to experience it.
“Daddy! Can I go see him? Please please please?”
“I think we can make that happen,” Grant says, lifting Adian off his shoulders and setting him on the grass. He keeps a hold of his son’s hand and looks at his wife. “Do you want to wait in line with him while I go get us some drinks? I’m getting a little thirsty.”
She nods, already grabbing Adian’s other hand. “Yeah, that’s fine. Just don’t take too long.”
“Promise.” He gives her a quick kiss and then ruffles Adian’s hair. “Be good for your mom. Max, let’s go, boy,” he says to the German Shepherd next to him, gesturing with his head. He’s doing a lot better being in large crowds, as evidenced by his presence at the holiday event, but they can still be a bit touchy. Having Max at his side helps immensely.
Stepping away from his family, Grant moves in the direction of where he saw some refreshment stands earlier when they arrived. He knows exactly what his family will want, so he doesn’t have to spend too much time searching for exactly what he needs. He just hopes the lines aren’t ridiculously long; waiting in line for food and drinks at these types of events is never fun. A pregnant irritated wife and a grumpy young child are never fun to deal with either. Especially not at the same time.
“Grant? Is that you?”
He stops walking immediately and his entire body tenses at the familiar voice behind him; a voice he never thought he’d have to hear again, one he’s tried his hardest over the years to block from his memories. Max barks from beside him and he reaches out to run a hand through the dog’s fur to help ground himself, and to reassure the dog that everything will be fine.
Turning around slowly, his jaw tightens at the three familiar, though older, faces standing in front of him, his hands curling tightly into fists and his chest moving a little quicker. His fingers tingle and he quickly flexes them so he doesn’t accidentally lose control, taking note of Max gently nudging against his legs. “Mother. Father. Christian.”
“Grant,” his mother says, “we didn’t think we’d be seeing you here.”
He scoffs. “Trust me, I didn’t think I’d be seeing you here either. Why are you here?”
“Visiting some old friends,” his father states. “It just so happened to fall on Easter weekend when our schedules aligned.” He glances around at the crowd and the activities. “I believe we used to do something like this when you were children.”
“I’ve tried my hardest to forget most of those years,” Grant tells his parents honestly. “They weren’t exactly happy memories.”
“There’s no use in dredging up the past, son,” his father says, reaching out to place a hand on his shoulder. He flinches. “That’s all behind us now.”
Grant shakes his father’s hand off, his eyes narrowing as he takes a step back. “Maybe so. But I went through absolute hell for years because of you three. So don’t expect everything between us to be all good now just because I’m an adult. I still can’t look at any of you without wanting to—”
“Daddy! Daddy!”
Gladly looking away from his parents and older brother, Grant smiles brightly when he sees his son running full speed toward him across the grass. He stoops down and lifts Adian into his arms, planting a kiss on the boy’s temple and settling him on his hip. “Hey, bud. Did you have fun seeing the Easter Bunny?”
Adian nods excitedly. “Yeah! We got a picture! He’s so super tall just like you, Daddy!”
Grant laughs quietly. “I’m sure he is.”
“I’m sorry, babe, I tried to get him to wait, but he is way too fast and I’m way too pregnant to keep up with him.”
Grant smiles at his wife, snaking an arm around her waist and dropping a kiss to the top of her head. “It’s fine. How are you feeling?”
Skye runs a hand over her stomach. “As well as I can be, all things considered.” Her eyes flick past him. “Babe, I think we’ve got an audience.”
Grant sighs, looking back to see his parents and brother staring at him with furrowed brows and a dropped jaw in his brother’s case. “Mother, Father, Christian, this is my wife Skye and our son Adian. Skye, these are my parents Charles and Martha, and my older brother Christian. Adian, technically speaking, these are your grandparents and your Uncle Christian.”
Adian gasps. “Like Uncle Trip and Uncle Fizzy and Uncle Mack and Uncle—”
“You don’t need to list all of your Uncles, bud,” Grant tells his son with a small smile. “But yeah, he’s your uncle, even though he hasn’t exactly earned that title like your Uncle Tommy has. And just like I’m Uncle Tommy’s older brother, Christian is my older brother.”
“Like me?”
He nods. “Just like you’re going to be a big brother soon, yeah.”
“I’m gonna be the bestest brother ever,” Adian states proudly. Then he looks at Christian and his face gets hard, an almost exact match to the one Grant knows he wears on occasion. “You weren’t the bestest brother ever.”
Grant stiffens at the statement from his son, glancing at his brother to find a mix of emotions running across his face. He can’t quite decipher any of them, though he’s not sure that he wants to.
“I ‘member Uncle Tommy sayin’ that his biggest brother wasn’t nice and how him and Aunt Rose don’t wanna see him ever again and…”
“Hey, Skye,” he whispers to his wife, “can you take Adian somewhere and distract him with something else? I really don’t want him around them any longer.”
“I was thinking the same thing.” She carefully extracts Adian from Grant’s arms, the little boy’s face set in a deep frown now that he’s finished his rant, and sets him on the ground. “Come on, baby, let’s go see if we can find Aunt Rose.”
The boy’s face immediately softens and lights up with a smile. “Aunt Rose?”
“She said she’d be here with your Uncles and Matthew, right?”
Adian nods. “Yeah. Daddy, we’re gonna find Aunt Rose and Uncle Tommy and Uncle Owen and Mattie!”
Grant smiles. “I heard. I’ll join you in a minute, okay?”
“Okay. Come on, Mommy!” Adian shouts, breaking out of Skye’s hold and running across the grass.
Skye sighs and looks up at him. “I blame you for making me be pregnant right now.”
He smiles and leans down to kiss her cheek. “I promise I’ll make it up to you later. Now go before you lose track of our kid. It wouldn’t be the first time.”
She waves him off and rolls her eyes at the reminder of the many times their son disappeared on base when he was still very young. “Yeah, yeah.”
Grant chuckles quietly as he watches Skye waddle away through the grass, one hand resting on her lower back and the other under her belly, shouting after their son for him to slow down.
“Well, Grant,” his mother speaks up, gaining his attention again, “your son—”
His eyes narrow as he spins toward her. “Think very carefully of your next words, mother.”
“I was going to say that he reminds me a lot of you when you were a boy. He’s your spitting image.”
“So I’ve been hearing since he was born.”
“How old is he?”
“Just turned five.”
“And you have another on the way?”
He nods. “Yes, a girl. We’re very happy.”
“I can see that. Is there any chance that...that we could be...involved?”
“No.” He sighs at the look his mom gives him, running a hand down his face. “I don't know. I'll think about it and talk with Skye. We make our decisions together and if we both decide to let you into our children's lives, I'll let you know. But until then, please don't try to contact us.”
He spins on his heel and stalks away from his parents and brother, eagerly searching out his wife and son. He needs the comfort and security that being around them always brings him.
Familiar squeals of delight draw his attention and he can't help the smile that grows at the sight he finds. Adian is happily playing one of the many Easter-themed carnival games set up in the field for the children, being assisted and coached by his Uncle Tommy. Rose stands close by with her own son and husband, her camera out as she takes pictures of the moment.
“You doing okay?”
He lets out a content sigh as he melts into his wife's embrace, wrapping his own arms around her waist. “I never thought I’d see them again, especially here. They don’t live anywhere near here, they were just visiting friends.”
“Hey, there's no way you could have known they’d be here,” she tells him. “It’s like you said, they don’t live here. So please don’t beat yourself up over it, okay?”
He swallows. “They want to be involved in Adian's life. And the new baby too.”
Skye pulls back to look up at him. “Absolutely not. From everything that you, Rose, and Tommy have told me, there is no way in hell I am letting those monsters near my babies. Not a chance.”
He nods slowly. “I know. I told them as much. But then I said that we'd discuss it because my mom actually looked really hurt when I told her she couldn't see Adian. I'm not saying we have to decide now, or ever. I just...I think I said it mainly as a way to appease her for now. I don't think dad and Christian care either way.”
“Good. Because they’re not coming anywhere near our kids. I don’t care if they beg on their knees. I don’t want what happened to you and your siblings to happen to our kids.”
“I completely agree. I want them to be safe from everything I had to endure growing up.”
“And you’re already doing an amazing job at it. Trust me. You’re an incredible father, Grant.”
“Thanks.” He takes a deep breath. “I think I needed to hear that. Seeing them again, it brought up a lot of stuff for me. Stuff I don’t like thinking about.”
She smiles softly at him. “Then let’s find a way to distract you. You can call Lisa tonight if you need to talk things through with her.”
He nods. “Yeah, I think that might be best.” He takes a deep breath and shifts on his feet, his eyes searching for his son. He lets out a breath of relief, even though he already knew his son was okay, and allows a small smile to tug at his lips. It only grows bigger when he spots Adian running toward him across the grass, colliding with his legs. Grant chuckles, reaching down to scoop his son up onto his hip. “Hey, buddy. Are you having fun?”
“So much! Daddy, when’s the egg hunt?”
“I’m not sure. Should we find out?”
Adian grins and nods eagerly. “Yeah. I’m gonna find all the eggs!”
Grant laughs. “All the eggs? Wow. That’s a big goal. There are going to be other kids, though. So you might not find all of them. But that’s okay. You just have to try your best to find as many as you can.”
Adian nods. “Yeah. I’m gonna find so many. It’s gonna be so much fun. Mattie!” he shouts toward his cousin. “Are you gonna find eggs too!”
“Do you want me to?” Matthew asks, wandering over with his parents.
Adian, who pretty much worships the ground his older cousin walks on, nods excitedly. “Yeah. You’re gonna find ‘em with me.”
“Adian, use your manners,” Skye gently reprimands their son.
“Pleease?” Adian directs to his cousin, leaning forward in Grant’s arms.
Matthew smiles. “Sure, I'll help you find some eggs.”
“Yay!” Adian cheers, throwing his arms up in the air.
Grant chuckles as he sets Adian down on the grass, watching as he grabs Matthew’s hand and begins tugging the teenager in the direction of the large area being used for the Easter Egg Hunt. Matthew hadn’t wanted to participate in the one for teenagers when the activity had been brought up, but pretty much everyone in the family has a difficult time denying Adian what he wants, hence the nearly sixteen-year-old agreeing to help his young cousin search for plastic eggs.
Grant wraps an arm around his wife’s waist when she steps up next to him, allowing her to lean on him as much as she needs to. He lets his hand rest against the side of her belly, smiling when their daughter kicks against his palm. That feeling never gets old, he loves it whenever it happens.
Loud peels of laughter draw his attention away from his wife and he looks up to watch as Matthew hoists Adian upside down under one arm, carrying the boy’s easter basket in his free hand. He bounces around a little, making Adian laugh harder, bending his knees whenever they find an egg on the ground so Adian can grab it to put in the basket.
Even though it’s been a few years he’s still beyond grateful that he was able to reconcile with his sister and brother, allowing Adian to have these moments with his blood-related family, moments that Grant never got to experience as a child. It means everything to him.
The sight of his son getting to truly be a child never fails to make him smile. It helps remind him that despite everything he went through, he’s still here and he’s finally living. Not just surviving.