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Ominis tapped his foot against the rug impatiently. He'd been sitting in their living room, tea now cold at the side table, awaiting the other two's return. He checked his magical watch again, only two minutes since the last time he'd check.
The nerve of those two. Sneaking out in the dead of the night while he was asleep. Doing Merlin knows what, going Merlin knows where. Ever since the three of them decided to move in together, to make things official, he made them promise him that all of those unsanctioned not work-related adventures would come to an end. He never wanted to be a widower at age 20 for Merlin's sake. And yet, somehow, despite all their vows, he's been up since midnight impatiently waiting for their arrival back home.
At last, their front door open, creaking quite loudly despite their best efforts. His two lovers had arrived back home, unaware that the real danger had just begun.
"Shhhh, sweetheart, you're going to wake him up. Ominis will be livid if he knew what we'd been up to." Sebastian whispered rather loudly all the way across the house. They all were really getting older if Sebastian thought he was being sneaky.
He heard the front door gently click closed. One of them locked it quietly. A feminine voice whisper-retorted, "Well, we would have cleared out those dungeons much sooner if someone didn't wake up the sleeping dragon."
Ominis could feel his heart in his throat. A dragon? Were they hurt? If they weren't injured already, Ominis was going to make sure they were.
There was the sound of shuffling. They were trying to take off their adventuring gear that they thought Ominis didn't know they had. Sebastian teased. "In all fairness, I thought our Hogwarts motto about tickling sleeping dragons was a small suggestion at best, or a defiant dare at the most."
One of them must have knocked over the umbrella stand loudly, making a rather loud crashing sound. There was a sound of agony and swearing.
"Shhhhhhh. You'll wake him up!" She scolded Sebastian. "If Ominis finds out where we've been, then we'd really be dead."
Ominis sighed, finishing the rest of his tea. Well, it seems like that was his cue. Quietly getting out of his comfortable armchair, he strolled into the entrance room, his wand lighting his way.
"If Ominis finds out what?" Ominis drawled announcing his dramatic entrance.
"Oh, bollocks!" Sebastian swore, knocking over the umbrella stand once again, causing a cacophony of tumbling knickknacks and overturned shoes.
"Ominis!" She yelped. Her voice had a nervous tone. "Oh, darling, did we wake you up?" She kissed him on both cheeks in greeting. "Why don't we all go back to bed?"
Ominis has been with the pair of them too long to be distracted by placating kisses, no matter how sweet. "And where are you two coming from?"
"-Taking out the rubbish-" Sebastian answered way too quickly.
"-Letting out the cat-" She blurted out at the same time.
The guilty duo stared at each other, now caught.
Sebastian scowled. Hands on his hips, he turned to their female partner. "We don't even have a cat, sweetheart."
She frantically worried at her hands. "You know I'm not very good at lying."
Ominis was furious. "I wake up, in the middle of the night, to find that our bed is once again empty. No note, no sign of any of you two in the house." The rid tip of his wand made angry sparks. "You went off on one of your ridiculously dangerous, stupidly reckless adventures, didn't you? You made a promise to me the last time this happened that you won't go gallivanting off to any more abandoned castles."
"Technically," Sebastian murmured under his breath as his girlfriend desperately jabbed him in the stomach to get him to shut up. "No promises were broken. I did swear, no more crumbling castles this time, Ominis. We were in an abandoned dungeon this time. Quite different scenarios really."
"Shut up, Sebastian!" She whispered through gritted teeth. "The second he finds out we had to duel a dragon; we're going to be in real trouble."
"Oh, I already know." Ominis declared. "I can't believe the two of you. Fighting dragons? Fighting trolls? This isn't Hogwarts anymore! You can't just floo powder your way back to the infirmary and expect everything to work itself out!"
She nodded rapidly, falling to pieces under Ominis interrogation. "Ominis, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to." Sebastian rolled his eyes. She always folded so easily for Ominis. "I really mean it. I didn't want to make you upset. I know we promised. But this time-"
Sebastian covered her mouth with his hands before she could spout out any more damning evidence. "Ominis, it was just an errand run. Nothing more than that, I swear, on Salazar Slytherin himself."
Ominis narrowed his eyes not fooled by Sebastian's lies. He could smell burnt fabric, as if someone's sleeve had been a bit too close to the dragon's breath. The air smelled ferric, as if there was blood spilt, either theirs or their enemies. He sighed. "I don't even want to know what you two were up to. Merlin knows if I knew half of the stuff the two of you did, I'd be sent to an early grave." He walked up to Sebastian. Ominis ran gentle fingers over Sebastian's face, trying to map out any new cuts or bruises. Sebastian chased his fingers with butterfly kisses as if trying to apologize for scaring him.
"Are you two hurt?" he asked.
"No."
"Never, not even a scratch on her."
Ominis nodded, stiffly. "Good, I’m glad to see you both in one piece."
Ominis let the false sense of security wash over them. The relief was palpable as they relaxed their tense shoulders, seemingly having weathered the storm of one of Ominis' infamous lectures.
Now that he knew they were safe, unharmed, and uninjured. Ominis could finally give them a piece of his mind. He exploded.
"Again! The two of you! Why, I've had it up to here with the two of you. Making me worried sick. Look at me, I'm losing my hair, sick with worried. I stayed up all night worried that one of you will come back in a coffin. When we decided to be together, to properly be together, we all swore an oath to keep each other safe. And here you are again, constantly breaking our vow to me, sneaking out in the dead of the night, not knowing if you'll ever come back in one piece. Why, I'm so crossed I'm at a loss for words."
Despite claiming to be speechless, the guilty duo had to sit and listen to Ominis' tirade for the better parts of an hour. As Ominis stopped to catch his breath, and calm his nerves, Sebastian decided now was the best time to chime in.
"Well, I've certainly learned my lesson." Sebastian interrupted rather boldly despite his girlfriend's increasingly panicked expression. "I'm glad we were able to come to another agreement, love. But really, Ominis you needn't needlessly worry. We're the two best duelists in all of England." He bragged. "Even the ministry's hitwizards have nothing on us. All of your worrying is just going to give your wrinkles."
Ominis whipped around to face him. "You are not to speak for the rest of the night. Do I make myself clear?"
"Yes, sir." Sebastian gulped.
"And you," The tides of Ominis' wrath turned to his girlfriend. "Again, and again, time after time, you let Sebastian and the whole population in London talk you into doing these insanely reckless activities. Fetching dragons' eggs, fighting a whole horde of inferi, Merlin, when will you finally learn to say no?" She looked down at her feet. It felt eerily similar to their first meeting together. "I don't know what's worse Sebastian's defiance of my direct orders or your constant need to please people at the expense of your own health."
The people-pleasing Hufflepuff in question could feel the tears threatening to make their appearance. She wrapped her arms around Ominis, paradoxically wanting to seek comfort from the very man that was angry at her. She buried her face in Ominis' chest, trying to hide herself away from his painful words. "I'm so sorry, Ominis." Her words were mumbled into his soon-to-be-wet sweater. "Please don't be angry at me….or Sebastian."
Ominis sighed. Dating two such different people was thrilling in its own right but also quite difficult at times. Where Sebastian has not been immune to his moments of explosive emotions, their girlfriend lived and died by Ominis praises and words of affection. Ominis tried his best, never to raise his voice at her. But he was only human, and in moments like these where Ominis wasn't sure if they were safe or even alive at all…it was hard. He did feel slightly bad. It was just like their first meeting together, when he hear the new girl with the beautiful voice step out of Sebastian and his Undercroft. The Gaunt family's wrath was perhaps one of the only things he did inherit from them.
It was always too hard to be angry at his lovers for any amount of time. Hugging her back, he rested his cheek on the top of her head. He ran his delicate hands through her hand, soothing her despite still being quite cross with her.
"Darling, I'm not angry anymore. Just disappointed in you. I expect much better from someone as extraordinary as you."
She hated it when Ominis yelled at her. Somehow it was much different compared to her screaming matches that she would have with Sebastian. When the usual level-headed, calm Ominis yelled at her, he was most definitely in the right. Now, the quiet disappointment? This was much much worse than Ominis being angry at her. Sebastian came closer to the pair, rubbing her lower back in support.
It was always the same pattern time after time. Ominis would get furious at the two of them for something that Sebastian would convince their girlfriend to do. A very stern talking to and lecture would be had. It always ended up in one of two ways. Sebastian would sweet talk his way back into Ominis' good graces (and back into their shared bed), or she would unintentionally be her charming, selfless, kind-hearted self and just evaporate any of Ominis' anger.
"So!" Sebastian clapped his hands cheerily. "It's been quite a long day. I'm knackered and would love a good sleep in between the most handsome wizard in London and the most gorgeous witch in all of England. Let's put this poor girl to bed, shall we Ominis? I think she's quite learned her lesson."
"Oh, don't you think you can get away so easily, Sebastian."
Drat. He really did hope that would work this time around.
Perhaps it was time for a different approach. He moved behind the hugging couple snaking his arms in between the others' embrace, standing on the tips of his feet to rest his jaw on the taller man's shoulder. Embracing Ominis from behind, he used his signature Sebastian Sallow voice that would have had schoolboy Ominis wrapped entirely around his finger. "C'mon Ominis. We've already apologized. It's been a tiring evening." Sebastian's lips tickled Ominis' ears, sending shivers down the man's spine. "Please, let the both of us make it up to you." He playfully nipped Ominis' ears before dropping his voice down an octave. "I can promise you that our apologies are best heard in the bedroom."
Sandwiched between his girlfriend's kraken like embrace in the front, and Sebastian's seductive voice from behind, Ominis knew where this was going. He extricated himself from the two of them, drying his tear-stained shirt with a quick flick of his wand.
"Don't even think about it, Sallow. In no way, am I rewarding your bad behavior tonight. You can start by making it up to me by doing the dishes for a week."
Sebastian shrugged. Well, all things concerned, that could have gone a lot worse.
"Without magic."
"What! Come off it. What's the point in that?!" Sebastian protested. He shot a look at his girlfriend. "Hang on, why do I have to the do the dishes while she gets no punishment."
She sniffed, drying her eyes with the back of her hands. "Yes, please, let me make it up to you. I feel so awful for letting you worry about us. I had no idea how much our nighttime outings affected you." Ominis could feel his shoulders soften. "You always cook us the most amazing dinners, Ominis. And we immediately betray your love by sneaking behind your back the moment you go to sleep. Let me at least prepare our meals for the rest of the week. It's the least I can do."
Ominis sighed, running his hand through his hair. "No, darling, that's quite all right. You don't have to do that for me."
"What!" Sebastian sputtered. "Oh, come on, Ominis. Are you favoring her over me?" Sebastian's jealousy couldn't help but rear its ugly head once again. He couldn't help but worry, once again, if he was being left behind.
The blond man scoffed. "Hardly. Different people need to be punished differently. Our girl thrives off of helping other people, getting praise, and being a little bit of a doormat." He turned to her, hands on his hips, about to deliver the final devastating blow. "There's nothing that you could do that would make me feel better. You've really betrayed my trust today,"
Her expression was crushed. Tears spilled over onto her cheeks. "Merlin, this is ten times worse than any punishment at Azkaban."
Sebastian gaped at her. Unbelievable. "You are such a Hufflepuff sometimes."
She wiped her eyes before sticking her tongue out at him. "Ominis tells me you're a bad influence, and I should stop listening to you."
Sebastian pinched her bum in retaliation, delighting in the squeal of surprise she made.
"Enough," Ominis said before this would get out of hand. If he didn't stop this now, sooner or later clothes would start going missing. "You both are sleeping on the couch together."
"There's only one couch!" Sebastian protested.
"Then I suppose you'll have to figure out a solution. Good night, the both of you."
For the rest of the week, Ominis gave them the cold shoulder. He did a stunning rendition of the Bloody Baron, drifting about their shared home with an aristocratic disdain for the other two. ("Do you think he's still mad at us" he heard her whispering in the garden. Sebastian snorted. "Hardly. Ominis is just being dramatic as usual. You'll see. He'll come around.")
Ominis sighed, pinching his nose. It was hard enough trying to juggle…whatever it was that the three of them had with his job at the Ministry. Over the past week, his paperwork as an Unspeakable had piled up on his desk. He was lucky that he was able to finish the majority of it today. Returning back home, he couldn't wait to make a nice quick meal, something comforting and warm. Opening the front gate of their house, he mused over which book he was going to choose to read by the fire. As he walked to the front of the door, his cheery mood started to dissipate. Loud clanging and clashing sounds were coming from their kitchen. Ominis could hear Sebastian yelling something. Oh Salazar, what were those two up to now?
"Sebastian, the stove is way too hot! You're burning it! Let me cook. I actually know what I'm doing."
"Says the one who managed to injury herself twice within 5 minutes of this whole mess. You know, for being the best duelist of the three of us, you're awfully talented at getting yourself hurt."
"That's not what happened, and you know it, Slytherin. Oh Merlin, why on earth does it look like that? Is it supposed to be grey?"
"You think he would notice?"
There was a hacking coughing sound. As if someone had taste tested their food and found it rather wanting.
"Oh, Merlin's beard, he's definitely going to think we're trying to poison him. What on earth did you put in that, Sebastian?"
"Frankly, I haven't had the foggiest clue. Can we call Deek for help, now? We tried your way, being all cute and romantic, and look where that got us. We should have done it my way from the start and just taken him to bed."
"Sebastian, not every relationship problem can be solved by a romp in the sheets."
Sebastian made a noise of disagreement. "Hasn't stopped working for me yet."
Ominis hovered in front of their front door. Reluctant to open it and learn of the true extent of whatever damage they did to his poor house. Maybe it was better if he just walked away and let this one play out. Who knows? Maybe they could pull through and not destroy the house he worked very hard to decorate and make a home. Maybe if he came back an hour later, his girlfriend and boyfriend would be appropriately behaved, good, model-citizens.
"Maybe try incendio." Sebastian suggested. "If you burn the evidence, it's like it never existed."
"Hmmm….unfortunately, you might be right. I'm running out of ideas on how to salvage this."
Oh, Merlin's beard.
The front door banged open, interrupting any more awful suggestions. Ominis strolled in, wand out, ready to put a stop to whatever mayhem was happening in his kitchen.
The pair of them frozen, like two Nifflers robbing a bank. For once in her life, she was glad Ominis was blind. Maybe, he wouldn't notice the dough that had somehow stuck itself to the tiled ceiling. Or how one of the freshly painted cabinet doors was hanging off by only one of its two hinges. Or how her and Sebastian were both covered in questionable liquids. Maybe, he wouldn't smell the burnt food or notice how one of his favorite tea towels that they bought for his birthday had been completely vanished (along with a few more traces of their culinary sins).
"Ominis!" Sebastian greeted brightly. "Just in time, we've almost finished with making you supper!"
"Is that what we're calling this fiasco?" Ominis asked drily. Merlin, he didn't want to even use his wand as a guide to "see" his way around the kitchen. Maybe it was better that he didn't know the full extent of the damage.
His girlfriend approached him, gently taking his outer coat, scarf, and hat from his hands to hang it up in its proper places with the flick of her wand. Her hands found his as she rubbed soothing circles on his cold skin. "Ominis, Sebastian and I, well, we feel downright rotten for last week." Sebastian snorted in the background. "We can see how much our adventures affect you. I can't make any promises that it won't happen again. Or that Sebastian won't convince me to do something stupid again."
"Oi!" The offended man said in the background, throwing his hands in the air.
She ignored him. "But what I can promise you is that we'll communicate better with you. We'll tell you well in advance. We'll tell you where we go, what we're expecting, and what time we'll be home by. No more of this sneaking around in the dead of the night. No more lies or hiding things from you."
Ominis could feel the tension in his stomach relax a bit. "Well, I suppose it's unfair for me to demand you stop something that brings you two so much joy." He chewed on his tongue thoughtfully. "I'm amendable to this new arrangement. I only ask that I not be left in the dark. You have no idea how awful it is waking up in the middle of the night not knowing if you'll be left alone for the rest of your life."
Sebastian was behind to them, snaking his hand around Ominis thin waist and peppering kisses on the side of his pale neck. "You shan't be alone. We'll always be here." His mouth was dangerously close to Ominis's pulse. "From now on, you have an indefinite invitation to come to any one of our outings. Merlin knows someone needs to witness the majesty that is Sebastian Sallow." The other two snickered. "Now come on Ominis,” Sebastian hands made their journey towards Ominis's belt. "Let us make it up to you."
Ominis could feel how weak he was to Sebastian's tactics. With their sweetheart in front, now pressing soft kisses on Ominis's hands, and Sebastian behind him, chin tucked on Ominis's shoulder, Ominis could feel his will waver. Sebastian angled Ominis's chin towards him, eyes flickering to the other man's kips. Whatever protests Ominis had in his mind were now entirely forgotten, too busy being kissed by his boyfriend.
They kiss for what feels like an entirety until Ominis has to pull back for air. Then, their lover kissed Ominis, hard, before he could catch his breath. Ominis ran his long fingers through her hair. Her hands have worked their way up to Ominis's chest and finding Sebastian's tie. Her hands were wrapped tightly around the necktie pulling him in, refusing to let him go. Sebastian couldn't stop grinning marveling at his own luck having successfully wooed the two most beautiful people on earth.
When she broke apart from poor Ominis, who was entirely winded, she tugged on the green tie, pulling Sebastian forward. He gladly met her half-way, arms curling around her waist.
Ominis supposed one week of giving them the cold shoulder was punishment enough. Except-
"What about the kitchen? Weren't you two trying to make something?"
The other two separated from their kiss, arms still around each other. The mischievous pair blinked owlishly, their eyes too innocent and too childlike.
"What are you talking about, Ominis? I haven't had the foggiest idea what you mean." Sebastian tried.
"We made…a small mess." she confessed. "I think Sebastian was trying to poison you to steal your family fortune."
Sebastian laughed, before reaching around to Ominis to kiss him on the cheek.
"Don't get too cocky," Ominis warned without any real heat. It was hard to be intimidating when his boyfriend was kissing the edge of his lips, and his girlfriend was leaving bruising marks on Ominis's neck. "Just because you two try to do something cute. My mood can change at any time."
"Mmhmm." Sebastian agreed, before teasingly nipping at Ominis's lips.
Ominis sighed, fully relenting to the fact that he was too easy on them. His pants were getting tighter, and his heartbeat quicken. "I believe, there was something you two were meaning to show me upstairs?"
He could feel the other man's grin on his cheek. Sebastian purred. "Now, that's the spirit."
Their girlfriend guided his hand towards the staircase, "Come on, Ominis. Sebastian and I have something in store for you in the bedroom." Sebastian laughed, young and carefree.
Ominis shook his head with a smile on his face. The two of them, incorrigible. "Lead the way." Ominis answered.