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“I don’t know, I feel like Dorcas and Pandora could be a great couple…” Barty mused, curling Regulus’s hair around his finger.
“He says as he and Regulus lie on top of each other,” mutters Evan.
“Jealous Rosier?” asks Regulus from where indeed he was lying across Barty’s torso. “You know you’re my one and only.” Evan blew him an overly dramatic kiss.
“Actually I feel like Barty and Regulus wouldn’t be a good couple…” says Dorcas. Barty sat up and gave her an affronted look and proceeded to hurl the pillow at her. “Joking, I’m joking,” she laughs, throwing the pillow back at him.
“No you’re right, Regulus is ten times smarter than the average IQ of any of Barty’s exes, clearly not Barty’s type,” says Pandora. Regulus, curling further into Barty’s side, hums in agreement.
“Umm, hello?” says a frustrated Evan. “Barty is playing with Regulus’s hair.” Everyone stared at him, silent, giving him confused looks. “No one ever plays with Regulus’s hair!”
“Barty does,” Pandora points out.
“Yes- that’s my point!”
“Okay, Evan calm down,” began Dorcas. “What we are saying, is that yes they’d make a great couple-”
“Thank you,” muttered Evan.
“If Barty could ever actually pull Regulus,” she finished.
“Oy! I could pull Regulus!” Barty argues.
“Mhmm, sure you could,” mumbls Regulus, mockingly patting him on the head.
“Please, not even you can resist my charm.”
“Oh really?”
Pandora crawls over to where Evan is sitting.
“What have we started?” she asks, shaking her head with a smile like a frustrated mother.
“To be fair this could be interesting.”
“What are you ladies whispering about?” asks Barty.
“Your inability to pull Regulus most likely,” says Pandora, smirking when Barty flips her off.
As if to prove a point, Barty continues to play with Regulus’s hair, causing him to smile and lean into the touch, fluttering his eyes shut and curling further into Barty. Barty smirked at the group.
“This proves nothing,” mumbles Regulus.
“Obviously not,” mutters Evan, sighing and rolling his eyes.
“Hey Reg…” Barty fake-whispers. Regulus gives him a flat look. “If you wanted to hook up all you had to do was ask.” He wrapped one of Regulus’s curls around his finger.
“Ha. Ha.” Regulus deadpans.
“I’m stopping this before they start fucking in front of us,” declares Evan, getting up to stop the recently-started staring contest between Regulus and Barty.
“Ha,” says Regulus, eyes not drifting from Barty’s. “I wouldn’t fuck Barty if you offered me a million pounds.”
“Oh Really?” taunts Barty, causing him to blink meaning Regulus won. Regulus smirked and turned around to lie back on top of him.
“Yeah because you’d do it for free,” muttered Evan.
“I heard that.”
“Good.”
“You seem too confident Reg, I bet I could convince you,” said Barty with a wink.
“Now it gets interesting,” Pandora whispers to Dorcas who coughs to hide her laughter.
“Don’t even try Regulus,” huffed Evan. All he’d wanted was one night where Barty and Regulus didn’t end up eye-fucking. Imagine the carnage of them actually doing it. Oh and God help them if they got into a relationship.
“Try your best, Crouch.”
Oh goody.
…
Barty knew he was being annoying but he needed desperate assistance. Dorcas had been at work when she got an ‘urgent’ message from Barty telling her it couldn’t wait. Fortunately, she couldn’t be too mad as the texts looked so real that her Boss gave her the rest of the week off because they assumed the worst and it got Dorcas out of the most boring meeting off her career.
This, according to Dorcas, was not the point.
Because Barty had called her to help him pick an outfit hot enough to make Regulus want to fuck him that night and, apparently, this wasn’t actually ‘urgent’.
Now at first Dorcas was annoyed, for the inconvenience more than anything, but in all honesty she admitted she was routing for him. According to her ‘This sexual tension between him and Regulus was honestly unbearable to be around and if his plan worked she could tease Regulus for…well ever about it.’
So she helped him and picked out the most attractive outfit she could manage.
Barty was wearing skinny black jeans that were ripped at the knee, a T-Shirt from some band Barty reassure her was cool despite her protests (she ate her words when she listened to them and added them to her playlist), a black leather jacket and white converse with doodles all over from the kids at the nursery he worked. It was a simple look but after styling Barty’s hair and spraying him with the cologne Dorcas claimed she knew Regulus loved, the look was complete.
Regulus himself was wearing blue baggy jeans, a white t-shirt and a silver necklace. The annoying thing about Regulus was he could have, for example, committed mass-murder, drowned in a lake or been in the hunger games twice and still look ridiculously attractive. It was incredibly frustrating.
He even looked good eating. No one looked good eating.
In fact not one mug shot of Regulus existed. It was one of the inside jokes of their group, always trying to catch him out.
“Hey Love,” he said. Regulus turned round and scanned his outfit, before lifting an eyebrow.
“You cleaned up,” he points out.
‘Oh please, I woke up like this.” Regulus laughed and dragged Barty to the others.
It was a few hours into the night before Barty made any sort of move. He started simple, resting a hand on Regulus thigh and rubbing his thumb. Now, Regulus hadn’t said anything, but his breathing had been slightly rugged ever since Barty placed his hand there, so he assumed it had worked.
Next, he waited until they were alone before flirting.
“So, Reg, I can’t help but notice you’ve been avoiding my eyes all night.” He placed a finger under Regulus’s jaw and tilted his head until their eyes met. “Any reason for that?” Regulus’s eyes darted to Barty’s lips before staring at him again.
“I've been...Avoiding staring at your ugly mug.” Barty huffed out a laugh.
“Ugly huh?” He had slowly walked Regulus over to the wall and easily pressed him up against it. He dragged a finger over Regulus’s lower lip enjoying the way Regulus's eyes never left his finger. He smirked and started walking back to the party, leaving Regulus there, staring.
Step one of the plan- done.
…
Regulus had expected Barty to joke around, blow him a few fake kisses and maybe call him a few pet names and that would’ve been more than bearable. Flirting? As in actual flirting? Yeah…No.
The flirting at the club had been bad enough, but of course Regulus couldn’t catch a break because not even 3 days later, when they’d been watching some trashy reality show and Barty and Regulus had been sharing the sofa, the problem occurred.
Barty and he had always shared the sofa, but Barty had never put a hand on his thigh when watching. Sure they’d been close and all but this was- different. Very different. He’d put his hand on his thigh before, at the bar, but it wasn’t for 3 whole hours. Regulus was melting and from the smirk on Barty’s face that he’d been trying to hide, he was thriving off how much it affected Regulus.
As the movie went on Barty shuffled towards him as well, until his face was so close, he was breathing directly onto Regulus’s neck and their legs were intertwined at the other end of the sofa. Regulus’s neck was covered in goosebumps, and he was so distracted he didn’t even know the names of the contestants. The one currently on screen’s name started with an 'm' he was pretty sure…Mandy? Mabel?
The others left after a while, shooting them smirks but no one helping Regulus out. Unfortunately for Regulus’s chances of surviving the night, since Barty and Regulus shared an apartment, they were stuck on the sofa watching the trash TV for hours more. Regulus was melting into a puddle next to Barty.
“Barty?” he asked, his voice impressively normal considering the internal freak out he was having.
“Yes Love?” Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Regulus wasn’t one for nickname about love had always been a weakness for him. Okay breathe. Fuck you Barty Crouch Jr.
“What are you doing?”
“Nothing, Nothing,” he coaxed, smiling at Regulus before standing up and moving off the sofa. He dragged a hand across Regulus’s jaw. “Don’t worry your pretty little head about it.” He smirked and started walking away.
“I- I- Don’t have a-” he trailed off, huffing at Barty who was smiling at him mockingly. “Little head. I don’t have a…Little Head.” Oh God Regulus. Barty laughed and walked into his room.
He knew he was screwed when he wanted to join him.
Oh he was so screwed.
So screwed.
…
Barty was having way too much fun. Regulus was just so easy to wind up, and incredibly hot when he was. It was a win-win.
Barty’s next genius idea was to make Regulus jealous and oh how much fun he was going to have with it.
They were at the bar again that night and Barty had once again appointed Dorcas to make him look as hot as possible. He was wearing a white T-shirt and unbuttoned black shirt, silver rose necklace hanging across his chest. He once again was wearing black skinny jeans and white converse. His arms were on display where you could see his tattoos. Barty only had a few on his right arm, a dagger, dragon, compass pointing towards the stars and ace of spades but he knew Regulus was a goner whenever anyone had a tattoo.
Regulus was wearing a black T-shirt and unbuttoned grey shirt, baggy black ripped jeans and white air-forces. He’d spent the entire night talking to Pandora, and Evan while Dorcas snogged a hot blonde in a leather jacket and doc martins.
Barty made his way to a blonde man at the bar who was incredibly attractive and someone Barty could imagine himself being genuinely be interested in if he wasn’t madly in love his best friend.
“Hey,” he winked. The man smiled, gesturing for the bartender to get him a drink. Pretty soon they were dancing on the floor to some club remix while Regulus stared across at them, fuming. The man had his hands in Barty’s hair, kissing up his neck.
One. Two.
He was being pulled away by Regulus who shot the man a sympathetic glare before dragging Barty across the floor to the toilets. Three.
“Wow, all it took was a bit of dancing and you’re a sure thing,” he laughed, sucking in a breath when Regulus pinned him against the wall. He leant in until his face was centimetres from Barty’s, his lips slowly pulling into a smirk.
“A sure thing huh?” Okay this was hot he had to admit. “Who said anything about me fucking you?”
Okay so clearly something is wrong with Barty’s brain because something about the way Regulus said that was causing him to stop functioning. Apparently Regulus swearing had unlocked something deep down in his conscience.
“Might want to stop Reggie, before you do something stupid.”
“Oh don’t put yourself down like that, darling.” Regulus smirked at the way Barty gulped. Was he saying that-
Oh.
Oh.
Oh fuck.
“What’s wrong Crouch, don’t wanna fuck your best friend anymore?” Barty trails a hand up from Regulus’s hip all the way to his face.
“Anything but,” he whispers. Regulus looks him up and down, smirking.
“I can tell,” he whispers, staring back at where Barty was getting rather…excited. Regulus winked and went back to the dance floor, leaving a dazed Barty.
…
The next time Barty flirted with him it was just them in the apartment. Regulus was messaging one of his co-workers, smiling down at his phone, not registering when Barty entered and asked what he wanted for dinner. He doesn’t know exactly when Barty started staring but he does know when he put down his phone and he saw the unhinged look in Barty’s eyes.
He was jealous. Crazy jealous. Oh, Regulus was going to enjoy this.
“Oh, hey Barty, sorry just messaging my co-worker Andy, did you know he’s currently helping sick children at the hospital?” It’s a lie. Regulus doesn’t even know the person’s name, hell he doesn’t know if they’re a man, let alone if they’re volunteering at some hospital.
“Mhmm how interesting,” Barty grits. “Dinner?”
“Oh I’d love some. Oh, which reminds me, I might not be having dinner with you tomorrow so don't wait up. I think Andy’s gonna make me some at his place.” Again it’s a lie, but the way Barty is gripping his fork so tightly that his knuckles are going white is worth it.
“Is he now?” Regulus nods.
“Well he seems great Reg." says Barty, giving him an obviously fake smile. "But does this mean our little…bet is off? I’d be terribly upset if so…” he mocks. Okay this is some sort of emotional manipulation because Regulus just wants to wrap his arms around him and tell him he’s Barty’s and only Barty’s. How the hell-
“No…we don’t need to end the bet…I-”
“No? I’d hate to stop your blossoming relationship with Archie,” Regulus doesn’t even notice the deliberate slip up of the name.
“No its fine, I’ll cancel with Archie, I-” Regulus gets up fumbling for his phone to fake cancel on him.
“Wasn’t his name Andy?” asks Barty, seeming so innocent but hiding a smirk. Fuck. He’d been played.
Barty gets up and slowly takes the phone out of his hand, setting it on the table. “Forgetting someone's name so easily, that's not very polite Reggie," he tuts. "But lucky for you i know you're lying about this colleague of yours. But why would you lie about a guy called Andy? Hmm?” Regulus is still, staring at Barty, frozen.
“I-” he trails off. Barty takes Regulus’s hands and holds them together in his, rubbing a thumb across Regulus’s knuckles, spelling his initials. Oh that's hot.
“Use your words darling,” he tuts, holding Regulus hands on the edge of the counter so he’s pinned there. Since when did Barty get so strong…
Now Regulus is a weak man, weak to anyone calling him darling. But when Barty does it he wants to melt into him on the spot. “Tell me Regulus, were you trying to mae me...jealous?" Fuck, fuck, fuck. "No answer hmm?" Regulus shakes his head. "Say Reggie, have you ever... kissed... a friend?” Regulus just stares, unable to function apart from thinking
Kiss me
Kiss me
Kiss me
Over and over again.
“No?” Barty asks.
“No,” Regulus whispers in conformation.
He drags a finger across Regulus’s bottom lip, pulling it down and quickly releasing, relishing in the sound it produces from Regulus.
“Ever been kissed across every part of your body, felt their hands all,” he rests a hand on Regulus’s hip “Over.” He strokes his hip. “You.” Regulus’s eyes flutter shut. “Held your breathe as their hands creep under your shirt, tracing your spine, ready to realign it. Ever had a friend do that?”
No but Regulus sure wants too.
“Words Reg.”
“No,” he whispers. “Not yet.” He opens his eyes and stares at Barty’s eyes, wild like a predator’s. Regulus must have issues because that shouldn’t turn him on.
“Mhmm” he mumbles onto Regulus’s skin. “Do you want to?” Yes. Yes. Yes.
Wait. No. come on Regulus you can’t lose this easily.
“I wouldn’t fuck you if you offered me a million pounds,” he whispers, damning the stutter in his words.
“Of course not love, you’d do it for free.” Regulus is silent, the denial stuck on his lips. “And I think it’d be me fucking you actually.” Oh god Regulus is going crazy. Focus.
“That’s one hell of an assumption Bartemius,” he whispers.
“Am I wrong?”
No. No he is not.
Barty smirks, ruffling Regulus’s curls before stepping out of the kitchen.
Oh Regulus is going to lose this...bet...game...whatever, spectacularly.
…
Pandora, Evan and Dorcas had their own keys to Regulus and Barty’s apartment and lived right across the hall, so when they got an urgent text from Regulus saying he needed help they were there in seconds.
The apartment was lit by candlelight and outside you could see a few stars despite the air pollution. Regulus was nowhere to be seen but there was a fresh cup of tea on the counter.
“Reg?” calls Dorcas. Regulus peeked up from the sofa where he was wrapped in a blanket and eating ice cream from the tub.
“I’ve hit an all-time low,” Regulus states, scowling when they all laugh.
“Oh my god did you have sex with Barty?” says Pandora, eyes lighting up in excitement.
“Oh Reg…raise your standards,” says Evan.
“No…” Dorcas narrows her eyes at him. “But I almost did…” Pandora squeals and then claps a hand over her mouth, Evan face-plants and Dorcas’s mouth drops open and she huffs out a laugh.
“Well done Barty,” she mutters, smiling when she’s hit by a pillow Regulus threw.
Regulus went back to eating his ice cream as the three of them huddled round him.
“Now forgive me but I don’t see the problem…” says Pandora, the other two agreeing.
“The problem is that despite being irretrievably in love with him, as you all know,” they all nod in agreement. “and incredibly attracted to him…” Regulus eats another spoonful of ice cream. “I’m not sure if I’m going to be good enough and-”
“Oh Reg…” sighs Dorcas, pulling him in for a hug. Pandora and Evan are quick to follow, all of them lying on the sofa, hugging.
“You are more than just enough darling,” whispers Pandora, stroking the back of his head.
They were there comforting Regulus for around ten minutes and it seemed he’d finally let the message sink in. He was good enough.
It was then that the door opened and in came Barty, who raised an eyebrow at all of them.
“Uhhh, Now I’m not against poly relationships, but I feel rather…left out.” Regulus gave him a small smile and blew him an over dramatic kiss.
“Well if you wanted to join all you had to do was ask…” Evan groans at him.
“Not this again…” he mutters, still shooting Regulus a smile in support anyway, but only when Barty turned away.
Pandora, Evan and Dorcas said goodbye and walked down the hall to their apartments, leaving Barty and Regulus alone.
“Guess what I bought,” announces Barty, striding into the living room hiding something behind his back.
“An IQ?” drawls Regulus, smiling when Barty flips him off with his free hand.
“Nope,” he says, popping the p. Barty brings the vinyl out from behind his back. “Elton John Vinyl.” Regulus jumps off the sofa snatching it from Barty and putting it on the record player. Barty smiles fondly after him.
‘Your song’ starts playing and Barty. holding out his hand, walks over to Regulus, by the window.
“Dance with me good sir.” Regulus laughs softly, grabbing his hand and letting Barty pull him to his chest as they sway in the candlelight. Regulus is so close he can smell his cologne, oakmoss, and well- the smell of Barty. The kind of addicting smell that only exits with one person, someone you could so easily lose yourself in, something that smells like home.
“You look beautiful darling,” Barty whispers.
Both of their faces are lit by the amber glow of the candles and each one of Regulus’s freckles are visible. Barty could easily count them.
“Don’t.”
“Don’t what?” whispers Barty, spinning Regulus round like a dancer before pulling him back in and running a hand through his hair.
“I know what you're doing,” Regulus says, meeting Barty dead in the eye.
“Is it working?”
And the thing is, it is. Because Regulus is so hopelessly attracted to Barty, so hopelessly in love with him, that the way he looks at Regulus, whether its soft or burning with rage, to Regulus it’s always beautiful. Because it’s Barty looking.
Barty’s hand hooks round Regulus’s hip while the other rubs circles into his back.
“Tell me something,” he whispers to Regulus. “Anything.”
There are so many facts that Regulus could say, so much useless information running round his head, so many things he could ramble about for hours. Old passions, stories from his childhood, interesting facts that have stuck with him all this time. But right now they don’t seem so important. Because it's him and Barty, and all he can think is that he loves him.
“I love you.”
Barty’s eyes widen before he brings a hand to cup Regulus’s face.
“Oh darling, you don’t know how long I’ve wanted you to say that.” Regulus hums. “I love you too, so much, so fucking much.” Regulus kisses along his neck, bringing his hands up to unbutton Barty’s shirt. Barty shrugs it off before pushing Regulus onto the sofa and unbuttoning his shirt too, flinging it across the room.
He kisses Regulus’s entire body, trails his hands up Regulus’s spine, pulling him into his lap. Whispering about how beautiful he is, how sweet, how good. So good for him. He plays with Regulus’s waistband, relishing in the way Regulus holds his breath at every touch. He traces his initials all over his body, so gently, never hurting Regulus as he holds him.
So Maybe Regulus lost their little…bet…game…whatever it was.
But in the end…he won in his own way.