Chapter Text
Jisung was a secondary character.
He had done this creative writing exercise in school as a kid in which every sentence started with something like "If I was a season, I would be..." or "If I was a song, I would be..."
And here was the cold hard truth. If he was a juice flavour, it would be apple. If he was a colour, it would have been blue. If he was a flower, he would have been a daisy - point was: he was unremarkable. About as average as you could get.
He didn't even mean it in a self-depreciative way. Being average in everything meant he wasn't bad at anything either, never excluded or singled out, never going through any major tragedy or life event. Just...normal.
He didn't notice it until he reached high school. Before that point, he was perfectly fine with the life he led. He had an extremely uneventful childhood, a very average school experience, a few friends and even a girlfriend once. Yet, with age came a keen sense of observation, and he could not hide from the fact anymore.
The realisation that he was secondary had bothered him at first, because he was an ambitious sixteen years old who wanted to make an impact. So yes it may have been a blow to 16-year-old Jisung, but that also was when he started noticing a pattern, a consequence being a "main character" entailed.
And frankly, it was very weird.
The first time it happened, it was to Hyunjin.
Jisung didn't know Hyunjin all that well at the time. Of course he knew *of* Hyunjin, of his "gorgeous glossy hair" and "perfect milky skin" (not his own words), because pretty much everybody in his high school did.
Before him he had thought popularity was a myth made up by Hollywood to sell more teenage dramas, but turns out such people existed in real life. People who were everything of a main character; beautiful, charismatic, talented, everything Jisung strove to be. And, he thought with bitterness, everything he was not.
He disliked Hyunjin. So what, sue him. It was just petty jealousy, it's not like he actually went around bullying the guy, so it didn't hurt anyone. In fact the only people who ever got to hear about his distaste were his best friends, Felix and Seungmin. They usually listened in silence with bored smiles, used to his antics, until one day Seungmin cut him mid-ramble.
" He's actually not that bad. "
That had shut him right up, and had grabbed Felix's attention - who so far had been pretending to be busy on his phone.
Seungmin had recoiled at the sudden bout of attention, carefully avoiding their gazes.
" On what basis do you say that? " had asked Jisung, who was determined not to let the comment go because if there was one thing he knew how to do, it was being nosey.
Seungmin had shrugged. " I've actually been tutoring him for a few weeks. He's nice. He sucks at chemistry, but he's nice. "
" You have been tutoring him for a few weeks and didn't think about telling us???!!! " had exclaimed Felix, phone now long forgotten.
"Every time anyone mentions him, Jisung has to go on some rant on how annoying he is " had replied Seungmin with a pointed glance. " I didn't want to sit through that. I don't even get why you dislike him so much ".
" It's just... He has so much going on for him, you know? It's ridiculous, even borderline unfair! "
" The fact that he is great doesn't stop you from being great as well, Jisung! There is no quota for greatness. He doesn't take anything away from you!" had exclaimed Seungmin. And here was the thing: Seungmin never 'exclaimed'. He was the anchor to Felix and Jisung's silliness and impulsive tendencies, and never had they ever seen him get this kind of angry.
He only realized he had raised his voice when he was met with complete silence, a feat rarely achieved by the duo he was addressing.
He took a breath before continuing.
" Sorry for that. "
" You should invite him to eat lunch with us tomorrow. "
Jisung and Seungmin's heads turned to Felix, who had taken the lead in this rollercoaster of a conversation.
" You made him sound cool and you two seem close, it would be nice if we actually got to know him. What do you think? " he explained.
Seungmin seemed to consider it for a moment, but eventually nodded. Even Jisung didn't hesitate to give his approval. Mad Seungmin was a scary Seungmin. He wouldn't forget that.
And guess what. Turns out Hyunjin was an awesome person.
At first it annoyed Jisung even more, but very soon he warmed up to the guy. He was genuinely cool, and somehow Seungmin seemed to have him wrapped around his finger.
The two started dating two weeks later.
Jisung had been nothing but happy for his friends. Sure, he had a moment of surprise when he learned Seungmin was gay, but it was only that - a moment - and because Hyunjin was so well regarded no one in their school dared to say anything derogatory to them.
And then, it happened again once they reached college.
It had been straight out of a movie. Jisung and Felix had casually been walking down a corridor when an unknown, accented voice had called his friend's name. It took the latter a few seconds to match the person and the face, but when he did he had thrown himself into the stranger's arms.
Turns out he wasn't a stranger. The guy was Chan, a childhood friend of Felix's back in Australia, who came to Korea for his studies. It was pure luck that they crossed paths again.
Chan quickly got integrated into their group, which had gained a few members already - aside from Hyunjin there also was Changbin, a classmate of Jisung's, Minho, a friend of Hyunjin's, and Jeongin who had somehow been adopted by Seungmin. Finding a table for eight people at lunch was a nightmare, but they made it work.
Felix had never been more radiant than with Chan. No one was really surprised when they announced they were dating. If anything, they were all relieved. No more dumb pining from either of them, that was an occasion to celebrate!
So in the end four of his friends were queer, no big deal.
But then it happened again.
By this point Jisung had started a little game of figuring out who was a "main character", who qualified as the protagonist or the love interest of a dumb romance novel, and he was getting pretty good.
Watanabe Haruto, for example, was a strong contender.
He was tall, he was handsome, he had a deep voice, he was Japanese and needed someone to help him integrate and learn Korean. Park Jeongwoo volunteered.
The two had started dating in under a month.
That is when he started connecting the dots, and turning wild thoughts into a theory.
It was just an inkling at first. A fun observation. Like "Oh, it seems the most noticeable and popular guys I know are all dating men! Isn't that crazy? "
It was a big coincidence, but it wasn't completely impossible. He knew queer people tended to befriend one another unconsciously, so his closest friends both coming out wasn't too odd. And they were in liberal arts, so again it wasn't super weird that the percentage of gay people around him was a bit higher than in the general population.
Until it was.
Firstly, the number of gay couples around him became suspiciously high. There were at least six in his class alone, which was statistically bizarre. And then, he noticed some more insidious, specific elements.
There were no lesbian couples. Zero. Or zero that he knew of, but considering how queer the student body apparently was, he didn't see why any girls would hide their relationship. He also had never seen any popular guy seriously date a woman, and there were no popular girls.
He also noticed the couples forming around him had extremely cliché starting dynamics. Seungmin and Hyunjin were a tutor and his student, Chan and Felix long lost childhood friends, Haruto and Jungwoo a foreign exchange student and his mentor, and the list went on. Mark dated his cute barista. Cheerleader Taeyeob dated football player Kyubin. Dongju and Geonhak had met when Dongju went to take an exam instead of his twin, for fuck's sake! Jisung didn't even know that actually happened outside of movies!
So this world had twisted rules, that stuck people into BL narratives. As a side character Jisung was free, but what if one day he crossed the line of irrelevance? Would he, too, be forced into a BL scenario?
Jisung cherished his free will above all else, and so he did the next logical thing: resist.
He would not be caught dead in any BL situation.
**********
Jisung took a deep breath, counted to three, and then opened the doors to get outside the building.
He had his headphones on, his gaze was fixed on his shoes, and he was walking just slow enough that it couldn't be qualified as running. With all of that, he should be safe. Nothing should hap-
Oh for god's sake.
See, while never looking up assured you wouldn't be making eye contact with anyone, it also prevented you from making eye contact with anything such as: walls. Such was the lesson that Jisung had to learn the hard way, not even five minutes into his walk.
Luckily he was uninjured. His forehead had taken most of the impact, but he shouldn't end up with anything more than a bruise. His friends would laugh at him so hard, seriously who ran into walls?
" Are you alright? " a voice suddenly came from behind him, startling him out of his self-pity.
It came from a guy Jisung barely knew, but had noticed a few times around campus. He always had this dyed hair, black nail polish, tattoos combo going on; and he made Jisung's main character detector go off.
He needed to play it cool.
" Oh! Oh yeah, just uh, stupid walls " he said with an embarrassed chuckle, hoping the boy would just find him weird and leave him alone.
Of course, he didn't.
" Right, how dare they?? " he exclaimed, before extending a hand.
Jisung took it, because as much as he wanted to avoid getting roped into this world's twisted logic ignoring a kind stranger's help would just be plain rude.
" What's your name? "
" Jisung. "
Ignore his previous point, screw politeness. And reflexes. Screw everything actually, except this guy, because that would definitely be a BL situation. Jisung didn't even want to imagine it.
" Then hi Jisung, I'm Hongjoong. Do you need help getting to wherever you were going, or do you want me to accompany you to the infirmary? " the guy said with a sweet smile.
This time, Jisung actually took the time to think. " Oh, I, hum...No really am alright. I was just going to class and it's starting soon actually, so I should get going. "
Luckily the Hongjoong guy didn't seem to take any offence, and sent Jisung on his way with another smile and the offer to call him if he ran into any problems- or walls. Jisung made a point to explain that it wasn't a common occurrence before taking off.
Inwardly, he rejoiced.
The situation may have been awkward, but he had successfully stayed as far from any blossoming romance as he could! One may argue there was no way such an encounter would turn into romance, but don't be fooled. EVERYTHING could turn into romance, in BL world.
How did he know?
Well. He may have done research.
Moving on.
Despite what he had told Hongjoong, he was not headed to class. He was actually headed to the park behind the main building, where he knew his friend Minho liked to study.
The boy had been a late addition to their friend group, the latest actually, and if at first had made it pretty clear that he was only there because Hyunjin had dragged him along to force him to make friends, after a few weeks it seemed natural for him to eat with them and join their study sessions- albeit silently.
As they all discovered as months unravelled and he came out of his shell, Minho was not, in fact, silent. He had been kicked out of the library for threatening to kill Jisung a bit too loudly (in all good friendship of course, but the librarian didn't care for their explanations), hence why he studied in the park at all.
He was also the most rational of them all, and Jisung was close to losing his marbles. A match made in heaven.
It didn't take long for Jisung to spot his friend, and silently make his way towards him - not forgetting to look up, this time. He sat next to him without a word, the other only acknowledging his presence with a brief look before going back to his work. Only after a few minutes of silence did he shut his laptop with a sigh, finally turning himself so he would be facing the younger.
" I'll bite. What brings you here today, Jisung? " he asked with a tone that was a bit too therapy-like to the latter's taste.
" I'm in need of counselling. "
" When are you not. "
" Just- Minho! "
At least this acted as a reminder of why Jisung didn't go to him before starting to form wild theories, and not after the ideas were already deeply ingrained in his mind. For all that he was clever, Lee Minho was also the bane of Jisung's existence.
He threw his hands in the air in mock defeat, before crossing them on his chest.
" And what, pray tell, do you need counselling about? "
Jisung took a deep breath, hoping he would manage to let go of his anxieties with the air he exhaled. Despite how silly it sounded, he was actually in quite the state of distress, and he could not afford Minho not believing him.
" I think we are trapped in a world of BL. " he declared, very seriously.
Minho burst out laughing.
To his credit, he toned it down when he realized Jisung was not laughing along, and was looking rather dejected instead.
" BL? Like "Boys Love"? " he asked between two fits of -moderate- laughter.
Jisung nodded.
" Wow. Every time I think you can't possibly say anything weirder than you already have, you still manage to surprise me. What do you even mean? " he asked, chest still heaving.
With every new second Jisung realized how ridiculous he probably sounded, but he could just not...he couldn't accept his free will being robbed from him like so.
" I mean that for some reason, since we've started college, we've seen a stupid amount of BL situations happen. Like, very cliché stuff where two guys end up together. Have you not noticed? " he expectantly asked.
Sadly, the answer wasn't what he had expected.
" No? There's only you to notice this kind of thing. "
Well, apparently??
He only realized he had been sucked into his thoughts again when he felt the touch of Minho's fingers against his own, untangling them from the fists he had made so he couldn't dig his nails in his palms. Oh.
" This is seriously stressing you out? " he inquired, with a more serious tone this time. Not trusting his words enough Jisung nodded, prompting Minho to lean back with a sigh.
" Alright, please present me your arguments, and I'll help you figure out what is bullshit and what isn't, does that sound good? "
Jisung nodded again, feeling his heart swell with gratitude.
" Don't thank me just yet " interrupted his friend. " So, please present to me your mind-blowing arguments. "
He pretended to ignore the faint 'oh my god' that spilt from Minho's lips as he got his phone out of his pocket and opened the note apps, where a page had been carefully filled with bullet points. What, would Minho prefer getting thrown random arguments in a completely disorganized manner? Of course not, if anything he should have been grateful.
Anyways.
" The first is how many gay people we know. By 'gay' I mean 'queer', any shade of the rainbow" he started.
Minho hummed lightly. " Well that one is easy. We're in a fine and communication arts college. Statistically, we're way more likely to have a high number of queer men. "
" And for our friends? "
" Five gays out of eight people in the same friend group isn't terribly high " replied Minho with an amused smile. Well, at least one of them was able to find fun in this situation. "Despites, Hyunjin and Chan are in said group specifically because they started dating someone in it. Next point? "
Jisung frowned. " Why do you say that like you won the argument? "
" Because I did. Next. Point. "
He decided it was better to move on. " Second point " he read, "everyone met or got together in very cliché ways. "
This one required slightly more thought from Minho. Honestly, it made Jisung happy to see how much reflection he was putting into this. It took some pleading to get there, but once he had accepted to give his help he truly committed to it. That, or he was just using this opportunity to avoid having to work on whatever it was he was doing before Jisung got here.
" Well, you're not particularly wrong." he ended up admitting, " although isn't something deemed "cliché" because it's very expected and common? "
" Not really, more because it's very unlikely. "
" You win that one then, I don't have a better explanation than simple coincidence " agreed, and Jisung was unable to stop the small rush of satisfaction at his words. " Next point. "
" Third point: there's no lesbians "
This one elicited a laugh from Minho, once again. God, maybe Jisung should come up with more theories if they could provoke such reactions.
" Of course there's lesbians! You just have no girl friends, you asocial caterpillar."
'Asocial caterpillar' being the opposite of 'social butterfly'. Minho had been way too proud of himself the first time he came up with it, and Jisung would not give the satisfaction to ask what it meant again.
" It may also be because you're in digital design, there are way more boys than girls in your major. Trust me, there are lesbians in dance. "
They went back and forth for a few more minutes, Minho dismantling each of his wild points with carefully thought-out logic. It was amazing, the patience this man had. Well, if Jisung was to think about it, he didn't actually have much patience 90% of the time. Luckily for him, the remaining 10% all seemed to be reserved for Jisung. Maybe dealing with him just required such resources. It's not like he was going to ask, anyway.
Their little "debate" came to stop when Jisung brought up the fact that since starting college, he had found himself in "BL situations" way more than he ever had before, or outside of the establishment - quoting as an example his earlier interaction with Hongjoong.
When Minho didn't immediately answer, he thought he was going to give him reason again as he did with his point number two, because if you were to ask Jisung this one was a pretty solid argument with an example and everything. Seriously, if he put a similar amount of energy into his academics he would excel. Sadly, he didn't control the way his brain had been wired, and it apparently was way more interested in this kind of rambling than into digital design.
Yet this time, not only did Minho fall silent, but his expression morphed from amused confusion to something more serious that almost bordered...pity. Jisung felt himself shrink a little under the weight of his gaze, something he was not unaccustomed to. Minho's stare drilled into people, which earned him the reputation of being slightly scary. Completely false of course, but he didn't go out of his way to dismantle the rumours surrounding him.
Minho bit his lip, pushing his laptop away so he could lean onto the table. " God dammit, why did it have to be me. Where is Seungmin when we need him " he mumbled between his arms, before raising once again to meet Jisung's eyes.
" Do you realize how this sounds? " he asked, only resulting in making Jisung's confusion grow.
He shook his head no, and Minho looked away.
" Just give it a thought. Try to see it from an outsider's point of view. "
Confusion turned into frustration, as all this teasing seemed to lead to nowhere. An outsider's point of view? That's what he was asking from Minho! If he was so good at self-introspection, he wouldn't be seeking help.
" I don't...see what you mean "
Minho sighed again, and slowly started to gather his things and throw them into his bag. " Keep on thinking about it. In the meantime, please trust me when I say it's not that big of a deal, and you shouldn't let it bother you that much. Your free will is intact. I have to go to class now, but text me if you get in over your head okay? "
He started standing up but couldn't make it far, as he was stopped by Jisung grabbing his wrist.
" Can I come with you? " he asked all in one breath. " I'm already in over my head. I think. "
Minho sighed again, but didn't object.
**********
In hindsight, going to the café closest to their college the very next day might not have been the brightest idea Jisung ever had, but he was running on two hours of sleep, one panic attack, and a missed deadline for a project he had somehow forgotten the existence of. The fact that he was still capable of having ideas at all was an achievement in itself.
And no, he wouldn't simply go to another café. Fight him.
He sipped on his burning hot cup of coffee as he lazily typed on his computer, desperately trying to make up for the missed assignment. It wouldn't be his best work, but a 2 was still better than a 0. And he was a master bullshitter.
His focus on the other hand was a feeble thing, and it was shattered in mere seconds when he caught sight of a certain person pushing the café doors open. He immediately sank back in his seat and tried to make himself as small as possible, so that maybe he wouldn't be noticed-
" Jisung? "
Crap.
" Hey, Hongjoong right? " he shakily answered as he sat up again, trying to appear more at ease than he was. He didn't particularly want the guy's company, but he also wasn't going to be rude.
" Right " replied the other as he walked up to Jisung's table, and took a seat in front of him. " Funny to see you again so soon. No more walking into walls today? "
Yeah, funny. Extremely unlikely, as well. Fucking BL world. Minho and his smooth arguments would never hear the end of it.
" Yeah haha. I'm being extra cautious now. "
" A wise choice. What are you working on? " Hongjoong wondered, gesturing to his computer.
" Oh, some essay about the use of music in advertisements. Deadline was at midnight yesterday, so...yeah. "
" Ouch, happens to the best of us. Can I buy you a new cup of coffee? I have to take one for myself anyway. " he offered with a smile.
Alarms rang into Jisung's mind. Like code red, "we are being trapped in this world's shenanigans" type of alarms. Buying coffee for a mere acquaintance was flirting, wasn't it? It could have been an act of simple kindness, but Jisung wasn't fooled. He knew how this type of thing went, by now.
" No it's okay " he blurted out before he could think of a better answer. " I uh, I'm fine. Thanks. "
" Are you sure? " pressed Hongjoong, " It's really no problem. "
Jisung's palms were getting sweaty. How could he turn this so his answer wouldn't be rude, but also wouldn't make it look like he was interested?
" I...uh I..."
" What happened to quitting coffee, Jisung? " a voice suddenly chimed in.
Both of them turn to the end of the table where Jisung's saviour, his life jacket, an angel from the sky, Lee Minho had appeared. He could have cried in relief.
So maybe going to this café wasn't such a bad idea. Sure it meant he was more likely to run into BL situations with students at his college, but he was also more likely to run into his friends to save him from his BL-induced demise.
Quitting coffee, quitting coffee. Quick brain, think!
" Ah! Ah, oops? " he answered with an exaggerated smile.
That seemed to do the trick, because Minho took his bag off and came to sit next to him.
" If you get an aneurysm, I'm not calling the ambulance for you " he threatened.
It hurt Jisung a bit, which was stupid because this conversation wasn't about anything real. He had zero intention of quitting coffee, ever. It made Minho's idea to bring this excuse up all the more clever though.
" I'm glad to learn you would leave me to die on the ground " he jested.
" I would. Who's your friend? " Minho asked, turning the topic back to Hongjoong who had stayed silent since his arrival.
" Kim Hongjoong " he supplied himself, reaching his hand to Minho who shook it with a smile.
" The guy who helped him after he ran into a wall!! " Minho exclaimed, to which Honjoong answered with a laugh, and Jisung with a groan.
" God, neither of you is letting go of that, are you? "
" It's way too funny " argued Minho.
Both of them chatted back and forth, successfully shifting all attention away from Jisung. Sure, because he was what they had in common he came up quite often in the conversation, but he usually could escape answering by groaning or making silly faces. Maybe he should buy Minho a gift after that. Or give him his eternal respect or something.
Eventually Hongjoong finished his coffee and had to leave, bidding them both goodbye. The moment he stepped out of the café, Jisung felt like he could breathe again.
Minho made fun of him, but he had more than earned the right to do so, and he took it all in without biting back. Also, he kind of deserved it.
" I don't understand your problem " Minho said, " he seemed really nice. "
" But that IS my problem " Jisung whined. " If he was rude I could just tell him off, but I can't, because he is so cool and nice, so it would make me an asshole. I hate this situation. "
" Is it really so bad to have such a "cool and nice" guy flirting with you? The luck you have, Han Jisung. "
" The luck I..."
He suddenly turned towards his friend, who eyed him as if he had gone mad. (Maybe he had.)
" What do you mean "the luck I have"???"
" Jisung " started Minho, enunciating every syllable very slowly. " You're aware that I am gay, right? "
He blinked once, twice. "...No?!!! "
Minho's face was rarely the most expressive, and understanding him was all about catching the subtle quirk of his lips or the crinkling of his eyes, but never had Jisung seen him look so blank. Dumbfounded.
" When have you, EVER, seen me try anything with a girl? "
He remained silent for a few moments. To be fair he never did...but he didn't spend a lot of time with Minho. They saw each other when the group hung out at eight and during lunch, but they didn't share any class and rarely saw one another in the evenings since Jisung tended to avoid clubs as long as he could. Sure they had the occasional talk or movie marathon, but most of the times they met outside of group activities were when Jisung needed advice. Which made him realize, he didn't know much about Minho at all.
He knew his personality, that he was smart and cunning and reliable, he knew that he loved dancing above all, but that was about it. It made him feel quite bad.
Even more so since he remembered that, during their talk the previous day, Minho had mentioned their group of friends had 'five gays out of eight people'. Seungmin, Hyunjin, Felix, Chan and Minho. He was really stupid.
" I don't think so " he admitted. " But I don't really flirt with girls either, and I'm not gay. I'm just awkward. "
And here it was, a slight quirk of the lips. " Yeah. Well, I'm gay. Which is why I can tell you, we're not in a BL world. I don't get "BL situations" happening to me every other day. "
" Maybe you're just meant to be in a specific plot " answered Jisung, but even to him it sounded stupid. Minho seemed ready to humour him though, because he answered with a 'yeah' and a shrug of the shoulders.
" Hey Minho, can I tag along with you again today? " he tentatively asked as they were about to go, gathering his belongings and finishing his -now lukewarm- cup of coffee. " I'm very tired and I feel like I will say something stupid if I get into a situation like that again. "
Because his friend didn't seem entirely convinced, he added: " This way you can be there to make fun of me if I run into a wall? "
This made Minho break out into a laugh, which in return made Jisung smile.
" Compelling point. You're aware you can't go to my classes though, and you have to attend yours?? "
" Yeah yeah, just...let's walk there together? "
" Sure " replied Minho, making Jisung smile again. No more BL shit for today, he had protection.
With eased nerves, the day went by exceptionally well. He was still in the same situation, missing essays, stressful classes, BL world and all that; he just...cared less. Weird how the mind worked. Or maybe it was just Minho rubbing off on him, with his seemingly carefree attitude. Whatever it was, Jisung liked it.
The day also went by exceptionally quickly, and soon both of them were free to go and live their lives. Which, in Jisung's case, meant going home to keep on writing the damn essay. Some of the anxiety started to get to him again.
" Hey Jisung, do you want to meet my cats? "
He was startled out of his thoughts by Minho's voice, grounding him in the present. Minho's cats. Minho's cats!! That was something he knew about Minho actually, because the cats were on his lock screen!! He almost broke into a little dance at the realization that he did successfully remember that.
" I would love to! " was his immediate answer, which got out of his mouth before he could remember: " I would love to, but I still haven't finished..."
" You can finish your essay at my place, I won't disturb you. Plus, you would be able to pet cats. "
" That would be a privilege " he replied as he wiped away a fake tear, adorning a smile that wasn't fake at all.
Why was it that he didn't spend time with Minho again? Ah yes, he was the bane of Jisung's existence. He was so awful that for the past two days he had been reassuring Jisung constantly as well as getting him out of awkward situations. What an asshole, right?
Yep, Jisung was ridiculous. Now he was aware of it, at least.
Minho's house was very clean and orderly, save for a plethora of cat toys that littered his living room. Well, the "living area" because Minho had a studio, but still. The cats in themselves were adorable, and having a purring animal on your lap was surprisingly soothing as well as a great help for his focus.
Jisung briefly considered taking a cat before he realized he could spare the trouble and simply visit Minho's apartment once in a while.
Plus, that would keep him safe from BL situations.
A win on all fronts.