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The first thing you notice is the drop in temperature; your teeth clatter together and goosebumps cover every inch of skin that is bared to the elements.
The second thing that registers is the noise; the terrible, frightening noise of the Volcra as they swarm above you, wings flapping as they look for their next meal.
The final thing you come to notice is Kirigan, stood metres away from you, arms raised in semblance of a victorious pose.
You call out to him; your voice landing on deaf ears for he doesn’t move, doesn’t even acknowledge your desperate pleas. Fear begins to choke you; cutting off your pleas, your begging. The blood in your veins turns to ice as you come to realise what the love of your life plans to do.
Each and every step towards him is a challenge. The threat of the Volcra combined with the unknown from Kirigan creates an atmosphere that could rival even the lowest circle of hell.
Darkness swirls around Kirigan; his power coming out to play now that he has an audience. You watch, tears silently falling down your face as the fold begins to expand.
You try one last time. His name – a blessing in the past, said with love and joy now tastes bitter as you beg him to stop, to think again.
It all comes to a stop – every thought, every word – when the claws of a Volcra rip through your kefta to the skin below.
His name dies on your lips as the Volcra’s claws dig deep into your body. The pain is too much; searing heat rushing through your body, a scream lodged in your throat as your vision begins to fade. The last of your strength, as the Volcra flaps its enormous wings, goes toward looking at the love of your life to find you barely even recognise him at all.
——————
You wake with a start, panic turning your veins to sludge as you take a minute to get used to your surroundings.
A bedroom. Four walls; two large windows, black curtains.
A bed. Four-poster, dark sheets, not alone.
Wiping the sweat from your brow, you turn to see Kirigan still sound asleep, utterly unaware of the nightmare you had just faced. A pang of envy hits you, jealous of his ability to sleep through just about anything.
Your heart rate slows to its normal rate; the adrenaline leaving your body just as swiftly as it had arrived, leaving you cold and on edge. Rubbing a hand across your face, you know you were not about to fall back asleep so easily.
Leaving the bedroom, you cast a single glance to the man still sleeping peacefully. Despite everything, a fond smile settles on your lips at the sight. Kirigan looked so much younger in sleep; less burderned by the world, and by his power. An arm stretched above his head, he turns his face inwards to his elbow, letting out a quiet snore as sleep pulls him further under.
You head immediately for Kirigan’s favourite spot; a loveseat just big enough for the both of you. You couldn’t count on one hand the hours you had spent on here, entwined with Kirigan, talking of nothing and everything all at once.
It’s cold when you sit down; the warmth having been leeched from the room as night descended. You grab the blanket from the back of the chair, wrapping it around you tightly. The material is soft against your skin; soothing as you try your best not to think of the nightmare.
The room is dark save for the dying embers of a fire lit the night before. It pops and crackles; providing you with a soundtrack for forgetting the horrors from your sleep. The nightmare flashes in your mind; the look on Kirigan’s face, his power-hungry gaze, and the pain of the Volcra’s claws. They circle your mind; revolving, one after the other, making it hard to focus on little else.
Exhausted, you run a hand down your face, wanting nothing more to be asleep beside the man you so desperately love. In the dark of the room, you could feel him reach out to you as he so often did in the night. His arms coming to encompass you; his nose burying in your hair. Kirigan needed the physical contact; he needed to know that you were still there, alive and happy.
“There you are,” A voice sounds, pulling you from your reverie. Kirigan smiles sleepily as he pauses at the bedroom door. “I couldn’t find you.”
A watery smile adorns your lips at the sound of relief in his voice. There was no sign of the tyrant from your nightmare. In his place was the man you had known for years, the man who loved you beyond recognition. “I’m sorry,” You reply, your voice barely more than a whisper.
“Darling,” Kirigan begins; his voice rough with sleep and concern, “Why are you awake at this time?”
You shrug, not quite meeting his gaze. “I wanted to get an early start.”
Kirigan wanders to you; his black robe swishing quietly against the floor before he gestures for you to move to one side. He settles beside you, reaching for you with no hesitation as he wraps you in his arms. You breathe easier with your back pressed to his chest; feeling warm and safe despite the horrors you had just encountered in your sleep.
Kirigan presses a kiss to the top of your head. “Let’s try again,” He murmurs, “How come you’re awake before the sun?”
“I had a nightmare,” You confess quietly, feeling rather childish in the grand scheme of things.
He tucks a piece of your hair behind your ear. “Do you want to talk about it?”
You hide your face in your hands. “It was awful,” You lament, your voice somewhat muffled. “It was absolutely awful.”
Kirigan shifts your positions, settling you across his lap and tugging your hands from your face so he can see and hear you better. “Darling, I have to know now if it’s got you this worked up.”
You take a deep breath before unloading the horror to him. “We were in the fold; it was so cold and the Volcra were circling. I was trying to find you and when I did, you had no interest in me. You were focused on expanding the fold, wanting to make it bigger and destroy any town and village that lay in its path. I tried getting closer to you, but the ground had turned to mud and I kept slipping. I kept shouting for you, over and over, and you simply ignored me or didn’t even hear me. Finally, it ended when a Volcra grabbed me in its claws, ripping at my back. The last thing I saw before I woke up was you, overloaded with power.”
Silence descends upon the room. You daren’t look Kirigan in the eye, not wanting to see the hurt that would surely be reflected there.
Kirigan takes in your words; feeling every one of them like a lance to his heart. Once upon a time, he wouldn’t have hesitated in his plans to expand the fold, but that all changed when he fell for you. He had his opinions over Grisha and their treatment within Ravka and throughout history, but now that he something worth living for, he was not about to risk it all.
He takes your face in his hands. He presses a kiss to your forehead, one to your nose before kissing your eyelids. Kirigan presses his forehead to yours in silent apology.
“I’m sorry you had to see all that,” Kirigan murmurs after a moment. “I can’t imagine how terrifying it would have been.”
Kirigan’s thumbs trace over your cheekbones; soothing you entirely. “It was so dark, and you couldn’t hear me,” You whisper, pain evident in your voice.
“I will always hear you,” Kirigan promises. “I will always look for you. I will always come for you.”
You do not doubt him. “I’ve never been so scared.”
Kirigan releases your face in favour for wrapping you in his arms, holding you close to his chest as if he could protect from all the horrors in the world. “Are you still scared?”
You shake your head, pressing your nose to his chest and inhaling the his familiar woody scent. “No, I know I have you to protect me.”
“You will always have me to protect you whether it be from threats or nightmares. There is no life without you in it; my reason for living.”
His words wash over you as sleep starts to pull you under. Kirigan smiles fondly at the sight; he could easily carry you back to bed and fall back asleep beside you, but he doesn’t want to risk disturbing you further. Instead, he brushes your hair away from his face and kisses your forehead, hoping he has done his best to your nightmares into dreams.