Chapter Text
When Hanbin finishes his senior year of high school, he doesn't expect the summer to be any different than his last summers. He’s completely ready to lie in bed and waste his days away the summer, the way he has for basically all the past summers of his life. His only concern is finding shows good enough to keep his attention for the next month and a half.
Matthew, on the other hand, is dedicated to making the most of that summer, claiming that they have to "live it up" before the stress of college. Neither of them really have to work, both being from well off families, so Matthew drags Hanbin along to whatever he decides it is that they’re gonna do.
Yesterday it was rock climbing, which– well. Neither Hanbin nor Matthew are the most athletic, to put it lightly.
To put it less lightly, Hanbin still has bruises on his ass, and Matthew is still limping when he walks into Hanbin’s room.
“Today is bowling.” Matthew says this with such an air of finality, walking into Hanbin’s room with his hands planted on his hips, that Hanbin can’t even bring himself to refuse.
“Are you ever gonna run out of ideas? Where is the end of the bucket list?”
“The bucket list is actually almost twice the length of the actual summer. Just in case stuff doesn’t work out, y’know. So no, we’ll never run out of things to do for this summer.”
“I’m dogshit at bowling.”
“So am I. Let’s go.”
–
Their scores average out to around 70, because they’re just as bad as ever. Matthew cheers loudly every time Hanbin knocks more than five pins down at once, and the old ladies next to them give them the stink eye every single time.
It’s fun, though, even if it’s just them.
–
A week later, Matthew comes over to his house at.
9 pm. He doesn't usually come this late, but Hanbin senses tomorrow is going to be different.
“Okay. So, I was thinking we could drive down to the beach in your car tomorrow. And then sleep over at some hotel and come back the morning after.” Meaning Hanbin will do all the driving, and Matthew will play his songs that Hanbin pretends to hate but secretly enjoys.
“BUT. I love you, you know I do, but I think it would be a little bit boring if it was just us.”
Hanbin raises an eyebrow at him, and Matthew continues. “So, I invited some other people. I'm just telling you now because I don't want you to be surprised when we have to pick them up tomorrow. I made sure I didn't invite so many people that they wouldn't fit in your car, so don't worry about that.”
“Who?” Hanbin is going to jump off a cliff if he has to drive complete strangers in his own car four hours to the beach.
“It's people we know, obviously. I can see you stressing already. Jay, Keita, Jun Hyeon, and Tae Rae. That’s not that bad, right?” Matthew looks at him expectantly, eyebrows raised.
That's actually not bad. Hanbin doesn't mind any of them, though Jay and Jun Hyeon tend to be kinda loud. And it's convenient because he's pretty sure they're all going to the same college. “That's cool, yeah.”
“Awesome. We are going to have so much fun. We're leaving around seven tomorrow morning, so just pack a towel and your bathing suit and pajamas. It’ll be fun, Hanbin. One of those memories you look back on when you're about to cry over a test in college.”
–
Hanbin is a morning person, so he doesn't really mind waking up early, even though it's the summer. It's bright enough, and Hanbin loves being awake early enough to hear the birds.
He picks up Matthew first, who sets them fifteen minutes behind schedule because Matthew is absolutely not a morning person, even though he was the one who suggested they leave at seven.
Matthew plays Intro: Singularity in the car, the quiet song a reflection of his current mental state, and then says it's because he likes the art for that album better than the one for Singularity as a song. Hanbin picks up Jay, then Keita, then Jun Hyeon and Tae Rae, and the last two are easy because they live next door to each other.
They're inseparable, and it's kinda adorable, even to Hanbin. Jun Hyeon and Tae Rae have always been close, having known each other since they were kids. The songs Matthew plays slowly get louder and louder, shifting to Anpanman and No More Dream as the car gets fuller. It’s already fun, even though Hanbin doesn't do much talking, just listening.
He even lets Matthew force him to pull over at a 7-11 so they can get snacks, and Hanbin leaves the store forty five (forty fucking five, at a gas station) dollars poorer than he was when he walked in, all six of them leaving with handfuls of snacks in their hands, because even though Matthew will spend almost fifty dollars on snacks, he will not spend five cents on plastic bags.
–
A couple hours into the drive, Hanbin rolls down his window, and the wind is blowing through his hair, and it's such a cliche movie moment, but Hanbin can't deny that he's having fun.
“I can taste the salt air from here, guys.” Hanbin looks back at Jay, and sees him stick his head out of the window, opening and closing his mouth and literally eating the air as they drive.
Jun Hyeon yells out the window, the way he does, and Tae Rae loses his shit laughing, the way he does every time Jun Hyeon yells like that, and even Hanbin is laughing, giddy from the beach and the salt in the air.
Matthew puts on Call Me Maybe, turns it up to almost max volume, and the others start singing, really really loud, and Hanbin can do nothing but observe, his fondness for them growing stronger and stronger.
—
The beach is so fucking hot. They’ve been lying around and talking for the last two hours, and Hanbin has been having fun, but the sun is beating down on them, and Hanbin’s neck is soaked in sweat.
“Can we go somewhere else, please? I'm so hot.” Hanbin looks around, thinking. “We could just walk around the boardwalk.”
So they take the important stuff and then just leave the rest and hope it doesn't get stolen, and go off to look at all the different shops. They end up having overpriced mac and cheese and fries for lunch, and then go back to their spot on the beach, where their stuff has miraculously not been stolen.
And then they all just fall asleep on the beach, the exhaustion of waking up early and walking that much and the food coma hitting them all at once.
Hanbin wakes up to Matthew’s head on his stomach, Jay curled up on his left arm, and Jun Hyeon and Tae Rae somehow both on his right arm.
He assumes that this is probably what it was like when Jesus was crucified.
He also feels like their mother. All six of them.
He slowly moves his hand out from under both of them, and then managed to dissect his legs from Matthew’s, all of them slowly waking up.
It’s already six, and they should go and find whatever hotel Matthew booked for them last night before it gets too dark.
Hanbin looks around, mentally preparing everything they have to do to clean up before they leave. Until he makes eye contact with another boy, sitting a good distance away from them with his own friends, someone who seems to be around the same age as him. He’s actually really pretty, short dark hair and big ears that kind of stick out instead of going back. (In a nice way.)
He gives Hanbin a once over, and then looks away, and it doesn't really mean anything, just eye contact that strangers have with one another all the time, but Hanbin’s stomach drops a little bit when the boy looks at him, and then drops a little further when he looks away without even smiling.
Until Jun Hyeon basically growls to wake himself up, waking up Tae Rae and Jay, and Hanbin’s ghost is no longer crucified.
–
They check into their hotel around an hour later, and literally just lie in the double-bed room Matthew booked, watching trashy tv until almost eleven at night.
Matthew is the first one to speak in almost two hours, all of them zoned out somewhere between being awake and completely knocked out. “We should go to a party, guys.”
“Where are you gonna find a party?”
“There's gotta be something. Or we'll just, like, sneak into a bar. Come on.”
So they all force themselves out of bed, groaning and complaining, and head back outside.
–
They end up finding some party after walking almost a mile, and Hanbin is sure they're the youngest people here. Everyone here has beards and tattoos or long hair and perfect eyebrows, and Hanbin feels immensely out of place.
He's also a little bit intimidated, but him and Tae Rae decide to just sit at the kitchen counter, the rest of the guys going to find something to drink.
Hanbin is fine. He’s doing fine, talking to Tae Rae, and Tae Rae has also found other people to talk to, and he’s very minimally stressed out about being caught as barely eighteen.
Until he looks across the bar, and sees the same boy from the beach, the one that had barely even looked at him before disregarding him. Hanbin doesn't know why he’s still thinking about it.
But they make eye contact as soon as he looks over, meaning the boy has been looking at him, and he doesn't look away, staring with no remorse.
He smirks, and Hanbin’s stomach twists.
And then he gestures for Hanbin to follow him, tilting his head toward the stairs that lead to the upper floor, and Hanbin feels like he's disassociating, not fully in control of himself. He looks over at Tae Rae, who already seems to understand, winking at him, and then Hanbin is off.
He follows the boy upstairs, and walks into the same bedroom the boy walked into.
He shuts the door behind them, locking it, and Hanbin is nervous, suddenly unprepared. It's nothing like the nervousness he felt giving that speech, a feeling of nervous excitement.
The boy steps closer to Hanbin, and this is where Hanbin realizes he doesn't even know his name, but he’s pressing Hanbin against the wall, and leaning in, and Hanbin finds there are other things on his mind.
He leans down, his nose almost touching Hanbin’s neck, and then pauses. He looks up at Hanbin, an unasked question in his eyes before he continues, and Hanbin nods.
The dark haired boy rests his hands on Hanbin’s waist, hooking his fingers through the belt loops of Hanbin’s jeans, and starts pressing kisses to his neck. Hanbin feels himself lean his head to the side, giving him better access, and he buries his own hands in the boys hair, pulling him closer.
He backs away, just observing Hanbin for a second, almost making Hanbin overthink whatever it is that they're about to do, but then he kisses Hanbin, and his brain blanks.
Hanbin has kissed people before, sure. But not like this. He’s never really gone much further than kissing, and there's something in his brain that tells him that he should probably think this through. But the voice telling him that the guy who's tongue is currently in his mouth is really hot is a lot louder. And a lot more convincing.
Virginity is a social construct, anyways. So he ignores those thoughts, instead returning the boy’s kiss with just as much fervor, hands traveling under the boys shirt.
And then Hanbin is pulled over to the bed, where the boy pulls his shirt off before continuing to kiss Hanbin. Hanbin pulls away, just to take in the glory of a shirtless guy hovering over him. A shirtless guy who is also smirking down at him right now.
“I’m hot, aren't I?” They're the first words Hanbin hears the other say, and they're like a wake-up call.
“Shut up.” And then Hanbin looks around, slowly taking in his surroundings. “Who’s room are we in?”
“Mine? This is.. my house?” He looks at Hanbin weird, and Hanbin realizes it is kinda weird to be at someone's party when you don't even know the host, but he ignores it.
“Oh. What's your name?” Hanbin knows it would probably be more “aesthetic teenager hookup” if he didn't ask his name, preserving both their anonymity, but he's tired of referring to him as “the boy” in his head.
“Zhang Hao.” It's a cute name.
“Hanbin.”
“Nice to meet you, Hanbin.” His voice is dry, barely repressed sarcasm shining through. Hanbin feels a little bit embarassed, so he gives up on words, just pulling Zhang Hao down to press another kiss to his lips, before pressing kisses all along his collarbone.
Zhang Hao eventually pulls away, pulling Hanbin’s shirt off, just looking as he runs his hands down Hanbin’s chest, and then presses Hanbin down so he's lying flat on his back, and starts pressing kisses to Hanbin's bare chest. He trails down, slowly, pressing kisses to Hanbin’s ribs and then to his stomach, before coming to a stop at his waistband.
Zhang Hao slips a finger under the hem of Hanbin’s boxers peeking out over his jeans, pulls it down, and presses a kiss to that spot too. He looks up at Hanbin, who is leaning back on his elbows so he can watch. The way his eyes look from his angle is– well, it makes Hanbin, like, four times harder than he already was. Hanbin’s head tilts back in anticipation.
–
Hanbin is extremely confused when he wakes up. It’s hot, and he's definitely not in his own room, or the hotel they booked. And then the memories of the party slowly come back to him, and– the memories of Zhang Hao.
He looks over next to him, but the bed is empty, which basically means Zhang Hao ditched him even though this is literally Zhang Hao’s house, and (he confirms this after peeking under his blanket) Hanbin is most definitely naked.
He yanks on his clothes, fixes his hair in the mirror, and dies at how many hickeys line his neck. They don't stop there, trailing down to his stomach, but those ones are at least covered by his shirt.
He looks around the room again, and finds a wallet sitting on the bedside drawer.
He justifies this because if Zhang Hao can take Hanbin’s virginity and then just leave, Hanbin is allowed to look through his wallet and do a bit of stalking.
He pulls out a drivers license, and mentally thanks god they're the same age. The realization hits him a little bit too late that Zhang Hao could've been forty years old or something, and he's actually very lucky they're both eighteen.
–
There are tons of other people that have also slept over, whether on purpose or not. But Hanbin is looking for his friends.
He finds all of the boys still there, miraculously. Tae Rae and Jun Hyeon are curled up on one couch together, which Hanbin takes a picture of because that's so wholesome even he has to preserve the memory of it. Jay, Keita, and Matthew are all lying on the floor next to the same couch.
Zhang Hao is still nowhere to be seen though. Hanbin is… really annoyed. He doesn't really know how to articulate why, because he willingly decided to hook up with Zhang Hao last night, and they’d both had an unspoken agreement that it was just a hookup and nothing more. But that was still Hanbin’s first, first of mostly everything, and now Zhang Hao isnt even at his own house? Not that Hanbin expected breakfast in bed, or anything, but it would've been nice to see him the morning after.
He nudges Matthew with his foot to wake him up, and taps Jun Hyeon on the shoulder. Matthew and the others wake up slowly, and quietly, but Jun Hyeon wakes up especially quietly when he notices Tae Rae next to him. He looks at Tae Rae with such a soft look in his eyes, a kind of look that holds so much emotion it makes Hanbin feel like he should look away, and it hits Hanbin that whatever they have going on between them might not be fully platonic, but he doesn't say anything, not wanting to put either of them on the spot.
–
Zhang Hao never shows up, Hanbin and the others leaving half an hour later after going on an extensive search for Matthew’s phone. (It was in Jay's bag.)
They check out of their hotel, which they didn't even end up sleeping in, and all herd to the car, fully ready to go home.
Hanbin is still slightly peeved, having been left like that, but Matthew (and Keita, though he pretends otherwise) is extremely interested in his story of last night.
“So, Hanbin. Did you get dicked down or not?” Matthew asks this, his voice full of innocent glee, as if he were asking what christmas presents Hanbin got this year.
“I’m thinking he did, if all those hickeys mean anything.” Keita says this, smilibg teasingly.
“Yes, guys, I got ‘dicked down’. I have no idea who is he is besides the fact that his name is Zhang Hao and we're the same age. He literally just left. I woke up and he was gone, which is like really embarrassing? So I'm pretending this just never happened.”
“Damn. Was he hot, at least?”
“You're asking the right questions, Jay.”
“Unfortunately, yes.”
“Was he-” Matthew looks over at Hanbin from where he sits in the passenger seat. “Was he, like, good, y’know? Was it good? Did you get dicked down good?”
Hanbin feels a blush spread red splotches on his cheeks. “As you can tell from the copious amount of hickeys, yes. It was pretty fucking good.”
The boys all cheer for him, and he ignores the way his face heats up and ignores all of their further questions, and they eventually move on.
They still talk about Hanbin, though, just not directly, like how much of a “main character moment” it is for him to hook up with someone he doesn't even know. The “and then get ditched” is also wavering silently in the air, though no one is bold enough to voice it.
Hanbin will have other days with this same group of people over the summer. He’ll meet other boys when the school year starts, and they'll ask questions under their breath about whether they're his first and how experienced he is while their hands are all over him. He'll always give them vague answers, sometimes outright lies, depending on the person, but the name Zhang Hao will always remain a whisper in the back of his head when these questions come up.