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Tadashi's days were usually pretty busy and rushed, all the spaces in his schedule were filled either with classes, work or studying sessions with Kei because he was the brain in among all of his friends - he wouldn't ever count on Tobio or Shouyou when it came to that - and Tadashi always needed some help here and there.
It was when he had a few spare minutes between the change of classes or when he was during break at work that he had time to reply to some of the texts he received from Tooru - who had been quite busy as well, despite them both living in Tokyo now, they were so occupied with their own personal business that they barely had time to meet and spend time with each other. Tadashi would always wake up with a cheerful good morning message filled with over excited faces that were so Tooru like.
Sometimes, Tadashi would feel lonely once he was in his room, ready to sleep, no customers to serve, classes to pay attention to or books to read, he didn't have anyone to talk to him and the sinking feeling that he would only be able to see his boyfriend in a week and a half attacked him and he hugged a cushion and buried his face in it, wishing it was Tooru. He missed him so much that when he felt like that, he couldn't sleep well.
(11:46PM) are you awake?
(11:49PM) studying for that physics 3 exam i have in a week (>_<) so yea
(11:50PM) why?
(11:52PM) nothing, i'm just bored
(11:55PM) sorry if i take a while to reply, iwa-chan is forcing me to study for real
(11:57PM) i'm sorry
(11:58PM) it's okay (^3^)~♡
After the brief exchange of messages, Tadashi felt bad for bothering his boyfriend and went to the kitchen to make some tea to see if it'd help him calm down and feel less anguished over how silent his apartment was.
The tea only made him pay more than necessary visits to the bathroom and he was not even the slightest sleepy, if there was something he hated, it'd absolutely be the Fridays and weekends he would spend alone at home because Tooru had to stay at his own house to study or finish his projects and papers, apologizing a million times that he just couldn't go and try to work at Tadashi's house with the excuse that he would most likely get distracted with him and not finish anything at all. Of course Tadashi understood all of that, it was the same for him but he sometimes just really missed Tooru that he felt physically empty, like something was supposed to be in his arms - Tooru for sure - or that he felt like he was stuck in an abandoned house and would see himself curled up under a bunch of blankets because he just wanted to excuse himself from the world while he was alone.
He should be doing his paper that was due a few days, but he could always do it when he wasn't in need of attention and feeling like he could go ill if he didn't see Tooru soon.
At the time that his phone buzzed, Tadashi was in bed trying to see if he could simply fall asleep and kill those thoughts about loneliness and missing pieces of himself.
(12:46AM) are you there? (´ ▽｀).。ｏ♡
(12:48AM) yeah
(12:52AM) i'm done studying, it's friday after all, how r u?
(12:54AM) we didn't talk much today, was it a busy one?
(12:56AM) what r u doin?
(12:58AM) yama-chan?
(1:02AM) r u there?
(1:05AM) pls answer me :((
Tadashi rolled around in bed and wondered what he should reply, seventeen minutes had passed since he sent a reply to Tooru and the income of messages he got for not saying anything else made him feel bad for not replying but at the same time, he didn't know what he should say - should he mention all the uneasiness he felt when he spent a large amount of time without Tooru with him?
(1:10AM) did something happen?
(1:13AM) did i do something wrong?
(1:15AM) no
(1:17AM) r u ok?
(1:18AM) i think so
(1:20AM) r u mad at me?
(1:23AM) of course not!!!
(1:24AM) then what's wrong? did something bad happen today?
(1:30AM) i miss u :/
(1:33AM) i'm sorry
(1:36AM) shit, sorry i had to go take care of the food i'm making before it burned
(1:37AM) aww yama-chan why r u sorry?
(1:40AM) i feel like i'm too clingy
(1:43AM) i miss u 2, wish i were there w u
(1:45AM) what r u doing rn?
(1:48AM) nothing important, just lying down
(1:49AM) u?
(1:52AM) eating some terrible tasting instant noodles i made
(1:54AM) so u asked how my day was, kinda crap
(1:56AM) y???? did something bad happen?<
(2:00AM) just the usual
2:05AM INCOMING CALL from OIKAWA TOORU
"Hello?"
"Hi hi, are you feeling well? You mentioned you day was kinda crap and then you mentioned the usual, does it mean that your days are usually bad? Are you feeling okay?"
"Yes, don't worry, it's just…"
"Don't worry, just speak freely, I like to listen to your voice and I feel like we need to talk more about anything and everything. I know we've been dating for over a year now but we still don't know a lot of things about each other."
"I know, could you talk first? I need to fix my thoughts before speaking, sorry. So how was your day? Did you finish all of your uni work?"
"Okay~ Ah it was just fine, I had to research a bunch of books today at the library so I could write a decent paper and then when I got home Iwa-chan was here and said I needed to study to get good grades and not fail any classes and he only left when I could solve all the problems and remember the concepts, it was a pain but now I'm better and just a little tired. I didn’t finish everything, but hopefully soon I will. Did I talk too much?"
"No, I don't mind, I like listening to the sound of your voice, it's relaxing."
"Really? Everybody complains that I'm too loud and self centered, so thanks, it's nice to hear that I'm not annoying."
"I really like you."
"I know, isn't that the reason to why we're dating? Haha joking, I really really really like you too. Why would you mention it right now?"
"No idea, just felt like it. I think that telling that you like someone directly to that person makes them feel special and loved and I just…."
"Aww, why'd you stop talking, I was really anticipating to hear the rest of the explanation. Hey? Yama-chan, are you okay~? Wait, why are you sniffing, don't cry."
"It's okay, I just really miss you and it's been more than a week since we met and it'll take another one for us to do so, I just…"
"No need to stop, just keep talking, I'm here listening."
"I just feel like I'm so full of insecurities and despite having such good friends here with me I'm always lonely because they do have their own lives and it's obviously not centered around me, and I just wished I could always be with you because that's mainly the only time I feel like I'm…….needed. Sorry for dumping this on you."
"Are you for real? I never thought you felt that way, so uhh do you think you can survive a week peacefully until we can meet?"
"I hope I do."
"You're strong. I know you can, you can do anything and you know that."
"Thanks, I'll let you sleep now, you must be tired."
"You sound tired as well, please sleep well and see you soon."
"You too."
2:43AM CALL ENDED
His hand fell to the side as he heard the cell phone announcing that the call had ended. Tadashi groaned as he remembered everything he had said and how Tooru had giggled when he mentioned how he liked his voice, he went back to his curled up position and closed his eyes, wondering if now that he had spent some time speaking with his boyfriend through the phone he could fall asleep at least a little easier than before.
He turned from side to side, still not comfortable enough to actually sleep and get his well deserved rest, the reminder that he would only see Tooru in about seven days kept on hitting him and he hugged himself, the room was dark and helped him to feel even more lonely. If he had cried for a little while when he was talking to Tooru, he cried some more when he was thinking of him.
The screen of his phone lit up for brief seconds and he reached out to check if someone - he hoped it was Tooru - had sent him a message.
(2:57AM) just got out of the shower, dunno if ur still awake but i hope ur feeling better now
(2:59AM) not 100% but i'm a lot better thx 2 u
(3:01AM) i'm v glad to hear that, then go to sleep now, we can talk more later
(3:02AM) i love u
Something at the pit of Tadashi's stomach started to flutter - just like a bunch of butterflies flying inside of it or the feeling of when you receive a punch in the guts -, it was the first time Tooru had ever used the word love to anything that wasn't related to volleyball or food, Tadashi's hands started to sweat and his mouth went dry.
(3:10AM) i love u 2
He finally sent after typing and retyping the same message and wondering if it'd be alright if he only wrote that, it should be enough - it had to.
(3:13AM) shouldn't have dumped this on u rn
(3:15AM) it's fine, we’re both dumping heavy things on each other 2night, we’re even now, gn tooru
(3:16AM) night
Tadashi kicked himself and left his phone rest on the nightstand, that was enough, he cut the talk short and hoped that he didn't sound rude for being so subtle, but the words were still there and Tadashi to get rid of his phone or he would spend the rest of the night rereading Tooru's i love u
Tadashi had finished eating his breakfast when he heard a knock on the door, it was almost nine thirty in the morning - he had jumped awake because of a nightmare but also because he had received a message from Kei saying that he shouldn't forget about the chemistry test he would have in four days - and he assumed it was Kei, since he was always worried about his friend's education and felt responsible for it, only God knew why.
"Yes?" he said when he opened the door and was tackled with a bone crushing hug and the smell of a familiar cologne filling his senses, he hugged back because it was Tooru and he was right there in front of him and Tadashi couldn't be feeling any happier than he already was now. "Hey, Tooru. I thought you wouldn't come until next week."
He didn't get a reply so soon, Tooru didn't let go of him and they stood in front of the door for what felt like at least three minutes just like that, Tadashi sighed in defeat and closed his eyes, nuzzling Tooru's soft hair and tightening his hold around his waist.
"I love you," were the first words Tooru said when he released Tadashi and closed the door, smiling sweetly at him with a sparkle in his eyes. "I love you."
Tadashi opened his mouth and closed it again, not sure of what to do with his hands or what to do in general, he started walking backwards, pulling Tooru by his hand towards the couch until he bumped on it and fell down, laughing - it totally broke his jitters as Tooru did the same and fell on top of him with a soft tud and Tadashi groaning.
"I'm not getting an answer for what I just said?" he pouted and Tadashi turned red as he noticed how close their faces were and, to make everything better, Tooru placed a kiss on his lips.
"I-I love you too." Tadashi mumbled and got to see Tooru's beautiful smile up close before the distance between was broken once again.
"Are you still feeling down?" Tooru asked and Tadashi shook his head.
"Not anymore," and Tooru smirked but Tadashi pinched his cheeks. "I got better yesterday after you wished me goodnight. But you being here right now makes it better than I already was."
"I'm glad because that's how you should always feel," Tooru said getting up and fixing his shirt. "Yama-chan, what do you want to do now?"
"Can we go to bed?" Tadashi said and regretted the way he had formed his sentence, Tooru wiggled his eyebrows at him.
"Yama-chan, I didn't know you were only missing my body," he cried dramatically. "And here I thought you were the innocent one in the relationship."
"Oh my God, Tooru, I didn't mean it like that," he flailed his arms and hit the back of his boyfriend's head. "I just wanted to take a nap with you because I woke up way too early today."
"So you don't want to…" Tooru's voice trailed and he clicked his tongue, staring at Tadashi with what looked like hope and Tadashi wanted to jump off the nearest window.
"Can we, like, not talk about this?" he finally replied, face red and hands shaking. Tooru giggled - Tadashi loved the sound of Tooru's giggling - and he opened his arms to embrace Tadashi in a hug.
"Okay," he said and hugged him tighter, Tadashi felt him blowing into his ear until he heard him whispering. "But are you sure you don't want me to-"
"We can later, Tooru. Christ, this is so embarrassing," Tadashi pressed his hands to his cheeks and closed his eyes. "What are we? Horny teenagers?"
"I don't know about teenagers but I'm sure I'm pretty h-"
Tadashi yelled and Tooru rolled with laughter.
"I'm joking, partially. 'Kay, let's go nap before," Tadashi kicked his leg and Tooru groaned at the pain. "We decide go have lunch, Jesus, Yama-chan, I didn't know you wanted it so bad."
Tadashi replied with a loud snort, he took Tooru by the arm and marched towards his bedroom, hoping to be able to fall asleep with Tooru's arms around him and forget about the other things he still had to take care of, he could deal with all of it later.