Chapter Text
(SM17 has opened a chat.)
(SM17 has added RAUMDEUTER, A-NEUER-ING, MUSHROOM KID and SERGE-ERY to the chat.)
(SM17 invites the Liverpool Group Chat members.)
sm17: GUYS! I’M BACK!
Alisson: SADIOOOOOO 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗You’re BAAACK
Fabi-lad: Sadioooooo who’s RAUMDEUTER?!
SarcasticMilner: Are you SUICIDAL??! Sadioooooo!!!! You invited the RAUMDEUTER?
EK11: Presenting your new Egyptian King!!! 👑👑👑👑👑 You may bow!
SarcasticMilner: I’d rather bow to a mudskipper
EK11: Sadioooooo back me up!
sm17: Sorry bro, I backed you up enough times at Liverpool ⚽⚽⚽ Remember the assists?
TAA66: Brooooooo!!!!
Hendo#14: Sadioooooo I miss our workouts together, man 🏋🏋⚽⚽⚽
sm17: Okay, I didn’t realize that my name is now spelled with six Os 😆😆😆😆😆
sm17: And I miss our workouts too, bro 😔
SarcasticMilner: Hey, ever heard of Skype? 😒😒😒
Hendo#14: Hey, ever heard of being pleasant?
Boss: Sadio!!! You’re back!
Boss: And you invited the RAUMDEUTER?!
sm17: Yes, I know he’s rather annoying, but he’s not such a bad guy after all.
Robbo Hoodie: What’s that even mean?
sm17: I have no clue, Robbo.
Raumdeuter: Guten Abend, everybody! You may all know me as the space interpreter, but today I am…the CHAT interpreter!!
Fabi-lad: Bro, you sure you don’t need a brain exam?
sm17: Me, or Thomas?
Raumdeuter: Manu.
sm17: He wasn’t part of the question…
Robbo Hoodie: I agree. What species of SATAN prevents innocent Scotsmen from scoring? 🏴🏴🏴🏴🏴🏴🏴🏴
SarcasticMilner: None. Because he’s a GOALKEEPER, you imbecile!!!
TAA66: BOSS! Milly called Robbo an imbecile!
SarcasticMilner: YOU TATTLETALE!!!
A-Neuer-ing: Sadio, are these your Liverpool teammates?
sm17: Former teammates, yes
Alisson: It hurts to say that 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 Come home, PLEASE
Ibou: Broooo I miss you, man!
A-Neuer-ing: Okay, we know you all miss Sadio, but could you get on with talking about actual things?
The Scouser Greek: The name is Greek, Scouser Greek! Pleased to meet you, Manuel!
A-Neuer-ing: You won’t be when I kick your butt
Mushroom Kid: OOH!! Let’s go! Kick his butt!!!
Raumdeuter: Kick his butt!!!
Serge-ery: Kick his butt!!!
SarcasticMilner: Kick his butt!!!
Hendo#14: Milly!!
SarcasticMilner: What?
The Scouser Greek: Hey, what about some RESPECT!
SarcasticMilner: Not happening, Kostas. I had to slap you so you would even play respectably, and I’m not afraid to do it again.
Harvito: Milly, no violence, please.
Boss: That’s my boy, Harvey! 👍.
Raumdeuter: OMG Kloppo, you still do that?!
(🟡⚫ROBERT THE COOL, YOUNG DUDE has joined the chat.)
🟡⚫Robert the Cool, Young, Dude: BOSS!!! I missed you!!!
Boss: ROBERT!! 🤗. 🤗. 🤗. Virtual hug!
🟡⚫Robert the Cool, Young, Dude: I can’t waste that opportunity!
Raumdeuter: Robert, shouldn’t you change the colors? You play for Barcelona now, remember
Serge-ery: You poor thing!!
Robbo Hoodie: 😆😆😆
Luisito: 😆😆😆
Harvito: 😆😆😆
Boss: 😆. 😆. 😆.
Mushroom Kid: Klopp, WHY?!?!?!
SarcasticMilner: Okay, who is this “Mushroom Kid”?
Mushroom Kid: I’m Leroy! Leroy Sane, remember?
SarcasticMilner: Oh, right! From Devil City!
Boss: Milly, YOU used to play on “Devil City”.
SarcasticMilner:...
EK11: 😆😆😆😆
sm17: Hey, have you guys seen Bobby? He usually joins the chats!
Luisito: Yeah, where is he?
OohLaLallana: I kicked him out of the chat.
sm17: WHY?!?!
Fabi-lad: He was getting annoying!
🇬🇳Naby-lad: That’s still not nice
🇬🇳Naby-lad: Mon frere!
sm17: Good to see you too 😊
Theory of Evolution: DID YOU ALL FORGET ABOUT ME?!?!
SarcasticMilner: Why yes, yes we did 😒
Harvito: WE DON’T TALK ABOUT DARWIN!!!
Luisito: 🎶We don’t talk about Darwin, no no no! We don’t talk about Darwin!🎶
VVD04: 🎶Yeah! He acted stupid!🎶
SarcasticMilner: 🎶So did you!🎶
Raumdeuter: 🎶Interpreting the space and I see him in my telescope!🎶
SarcasticMilner: 🎶How does the world still have hope?🎶
EK11: 🎶Darwin comes in with an ego within🎶
SarcasticMilner: 🎶Like you!🎶
Boss: Boys, you ARE aware that Darwin’s in the chat, right?
🟡⚫Robert the Cool, Young, Dude: I was just about to say that! Great minds think alike, right?!
SarcasticMilner: You imbecile, no.
🟡⚫Robert the Cool, Young, Dude: I am an elder! You must respect me!
SarcasticMilner: And I am 36. Speak to THAT!
Alisson: I miss Bobby 🥺🥺🥺
SarcasticMilner: Are we surprised? 😒
TAA66: Oh no, AGAIN?!
SarcasticMilner: Are we surprised? 😒
Robbo Hoodie: I want an oatmeal cookie 🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪
SarcasticMilner: Are we surprised? 😒
Mushroom Kid: I want a mushroom! 🍄🍄🍄🍄🍄
SarcasticMilner: That’s a toadstool, you idiot!
SarcasticMilner: Are we surprised? 😒
Boss: If you two are so hungry that you’re saying it in the chat, go and eat lunch.
Robbo Hoodie: I want an oatmeal cookie 🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪
A-Neuer-ing: SHUT UP.
Alisson: Manu, he’s only a little Scotsman 🥺
Robbo Hoodie: Yeah, I’m only a little Scotsman!! 🥺🍪🏴🥺🍪🏴🥺🍪🏴
Alisson: That’s it, I’m leaving the chat!!
(ALISSON has left the chat.)
(BOSS has brought ALISSON back in.)
(MUSHROOM KID has changed his name to I WANT A MUSHROOM.)
(ROBBO HOODIE has changed his name to I WANT AN OATMEAL COOKIE.)
(BOSS has added LUDGER2022 to the chat.)
(A-NEUER-ING has left the chat.)
Ludger2022: WHOOOOOO!!!
Raumdeuter: Sadio, you didn’t tell me that you had a teammate called Ludger!
Boss: Ludger’s my owl, Thomas!
Raumdeuter: AND IT JUST TEXTED?!?!
Boss: YEP! 😁. 😁. 😁.
Raumdeuter: That's it, I’m leaving.
Serge-ery: Yep. I still want to keep my dignity.
(RAUMDEUTER and SERGE-ERY have left the chat.)
Boss: So Sadio, have you tried a Bundes-pretzel yet?
sm17: Yeah, they’re pretty good.
Ludger2022: asdgfj
Boss: LUDGER, punctuation and coherent language, please!
Ludger2022: Crap. 🤬
Boss: Good owl. But you forgot to punctuate the emoji.
A-Neuer-ing: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR BUNDES-BRAIN?!
Boss: Gotta leave, I have to chaperone Ludger to his Zen meditation class.
(BOSS and LUDGER 2022 have left the chat.)
A-Neuer-ing: We have to leave too, we have a game in eight minutes.
Alisson: True, but I still miss you, Sadio :(
sm17: You know, we should visit each other over Christmas break!
Alisson: YEAHHH
Luisito: I can bring music, Thiago can bring snacks, and Sadio can bring music!
I Want An Oatmeal Cookie: Unless you’re a Beethoven fan, I don’t think so, mate
TAA66: I’ll bring the Beatles!
SarcasticMilner: I’ll bring Michael Jackson!
🇬🇳Nabil-lad: And I’ll bring Mory Kante.
TAA66: Is he related to N’golo?
sm17: I don’t think so…
Alisson: I would bring Macarena, but Luis probably has it under control already.
sm17: It’s a deal! Let’s keep this text chat open.
Harvito: We can call it Bayerpool! Liverpool and Bayern!
Luisito: Or Liverchen.
sm17: Eh, I like Bayerpool better.
(SM17 has ended the chat…for now.)