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The best part of being a druid, to Sparrow, was wolf time.
It was embarrassing to admit. He was supposed to be the collected twin, the reasonable twin, the one who carefully measured out his spells every morning and kept Lark in line. He was meant to be functioning so that Lark was functioning too, and being emotionally dependent on being a wolf for a few hours a week was hardly functioning.
It was nice, though. He didn’t exactly lose himself when he was a wolf. He was still Sparrow, still could reason like a human. It just felt easier to exist like he was one. It was reassuring to be closer to the ground, to wander through the house on four paws and get scratches behind his ear from his father. Father never questioned it, would just settle into a sit on the ground and treat Sparrow like a normal dog. It reminded Sparrow of being a little kid and playing pretend with Father and Lark, acting out some silly game.
Sparrow always got anxious when Lark saw him just wolfing around. He wasn’t sure why. Something about Lark not getting the same powers as their father, or something about Sparrow having his own thing. They were twins, identical twins, and they did everything together. It felt like a betrayal to be a wolf without his brother. It felt like a betrayal to enjoy it. Lark knew about his wolf times, Father would reference them sometimes, but it still felt like some dirty secret that Sparrow was hiding.
“Good boy, Sparrow,” Father cooed, playing with the fur around his ears, and Sparrow grumbled even as he leaned into his touch.
“I am not an actual dog, Father,” he reminded him and Father just laughed. They were together in the living room, Father sitting on the couch while Sparrow curled up by his feet, chin on one of his knees. “I am a sixteen-year-old boy.”
“No, you’re a puppy,” Father teased. “Sweet love wolf. My beautiful boy.”
Sparrow wondered, sometimes, if he liked being a wolf mostly because his father also found it so delightful. Father scratched the fur of his cheek and he put on a show of snapping at his hand, faux embarrassed.
“They put down dogs that bite, dear brother,” Lark’s voice suddenly cut in and Sparrow startled, sitting upright. His head snapped to the side, meeting his brother’s eyes as he stepped into the room. “Be careful not to spill any unsung blood, don’t want a second Doodler hanging out while you’re being euthanized by the humane society.”
“Hi, Lark,” Sparrow said before remembering that Lark couldn’t understand him. For all that he was capable of learning speak with animals like Father was, he had always favored other ranger skills with his limited spells. He turned back to Father, nudging his nose against his knee. “Tell him hello.”
“Sparrow said hello,” Father translated, pushing Sparrow’s wet nose away. “I would never let them put him down. I would… well, you can’t fight the humane society, they do so much important work for the community. But I would hide Sparrow away in the woods until the heat died down.”
“The humane society doesn’t put animals down anyways,” Sparrow added and Father clicked his tongue.
“That’s right, Sparrow. Our local humane society doesn’t put animals down.”
“They will once I’m done with them,” Lark said, ominous ever as he drifted over to them. He hesitated for a moment then sat next to Sparrow rather than sitting on the couch, opening his arms. Sparrow blinked at him. “C’mon. You’re a dog, aren’t you? Cuddle.”
“I’m a wolf,” Sparrow responded and Father didn’t bother translating that one as he nestled into his brother’s arms regardless. Lark was tense under him, clearly unsure what to do with himself, and Sparrow felt just as uncertain. Father cleared his throat.
“I’m gonna start making lunch, boys.” He stood up from the couch, ruffling Lark’s hair as he went, and Lark cringed. Father pretended not to notice. “Have fun, don’t put your brother down.”
“No promises,” Lark responded and Father laughed, shuffling into the next room. Lark’s eyes dropped to meet Sparrow’s again, his hands cradling the sides of his face. He was silent for a moment and Sparrow’s ear flicked as if a fly buzzed by, shuffling his paws.
Lark had seen him as a wolf before, and he had seen him lounge around the house as a wolf before. This shouldn’t be weird. Sparrow was allowed to have a coping mechanism that didn’t involve his brother, and that was a waste of important resources, and that involved trying to lose himself-
Lark started scratching at the base of his neck, somehow finding that perfect spot without even trying, and Sparrow’s tail started thumping against the ground. He leaned into the touch, moving on instinct as he pressed into his twin’s hands, and a smile flickered across Lark’s face.
Lark didn’t smile much nowadays and so like he always did, Sparrow leaped at the opportunity to make him smile more. He shuffled half-into Lark’s lap, nosing at his face like an overeager puppy, and got a genuine giggle for his efforts. Lark scratched harder. Sparrow tilted more into his hand, using his full body in his eagerness, and fell onto his side. He yelped as he slipped from his brother’s lap onto the carpet, flailing for a moment, and when he looked up, Lark was fully beaming.
“Oh no,” he teased, shoving at one of Sparrow’s legs. “Looks like I killed you after all. Sorry, Father.”
Sparrow let out an indignant woof, batting an ineffectual paw at him, and Lark started playing with the thick fur of his ruff. Sparrow fell silent as his tail thumped again, letting his tongue loll out in that way that always made Father laugh. Lark giggled again, scooting closer, and Sparrow let his eyes fall shut as his brother dug his fingers into his thick fur.
He was always a physically affectionate kid, especially with his brother, so Sparrow was pretty sure this was heaven. Sun was streaming into the living room on a lazy Saturday, he was lounging in wolf form, and his brother was giving him all of the love he had in his little body. His leg kicked, those wolf-like instincts pushing forward as he sunk into the affection. He could feel Lark shift, his fingers slowing, and before he could whine in complaint, his brother pressed a sweet kiss to his forehead.
“Father is right,” Lark said - shocking words from him - and Sparrow could hear the teasing smile in his voice. “You are just a big puppy.”
Sparrow huffed but nuzzled his head into Lark’s leg, pleading for more pets. Lark rubbed his ear, still lingering in Sparrow’s space.
“I love you,” Lark murmured and Sparrow opened his eyes, pushing his nose into Lark’s knee. Not for the first time, he wished his brother would just learn to speak with animals. With just his eyes, he hoped Lark could understand his response.
I love you too, you’re the best brother I could ask for, I depend on you even when we have our own things going on. I love you forever. We need each other to the end. You trust that I’ll heal you and I trust that you’ll protect me. We’re always going to be LarkAndSparrow.
He was sure Lark understood from the way that some hidden tension melted away from his body. Twins were good like that. Sparrow let out a little rumble, just to further his point, and Lark kissed his head one more time before shoving him away.
“Come along now, dear brother. I want to see if we can find the non-vegan chocolates that Father hides around the house for Darryl before he finishes lunch.”
“I can hear you!” Father called out from the kitchen and Lark’s smile slipped as he rolled his eyes. Sparrow shifted onto his feet, shoving himself into his twin’s side, and Lark’s fingers tangled in his ruff.
“I don’t care,” Lark shouted back and Sparrow could hear the heavy sigh Father gave in response. He pushed down the urge to try and smooth over the wound, just following Lark as he set off for the stairs like a loyal pet.
Mediator Sparrow could be saved until later. He was in wolf mode right now. He was just a silly little wolf trotting after a teenage boy looking to piss off his father, and he didn’t need to complicate things more than that.
He let out a wordless woof and the corners of Lark's lips twitched up again.
“Good boy.”
Sparrow’s tail wagged.