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Chapter Text

It was easy for V to forget that his boyfriend was a world-famous rock star, so much so that it still occasionally took him by surprise when they were stopped in the street for photo opportunities or when complete strangers seemed to know a lot about him. Kerry of course was completely comfortable with it all after so many years, talking with fans and showing every sign of enthusiasm and interest. At home though, he was just Ker, drinking his coffee in his baggy track pants and snorting through his nose at crappy old 2050’s sitcoms, V knew this Kerry really well, knew his moods, his routines, how to turn him on – or off, but rock star Kerry was a bit of an unknown quantity to him, someone he’d only seen glimpses of and didn’t really know at all.

For the first time since they’d been together, rock star Kerry was doing a promo tour and V would get to know him pretty well, cuz he was coming too. He’d actually argued against the idea, he had his work, his privacy and a cat to look after, but Kerry had him wound good and tight around his little finger and was extremely persuasive when he wanted to be, so from tomorrow he would be on the road with Kerry and his extensive entourage. Despite having spent years on the streets, literally dodging bullets and courting danger every day, V was scared, really fucking scared.

It was also easy for Kerry to forget that V hadn’t always been part of his rock n roll world, he seemed to manage so well with the recognition, boring industry parties that he’s dragged to and occasional death threats. They’d spent almost two years of domestic bliss with Kerry only occasionally dipping his toe back into that world for the odd photo shoot or interview, but it couldn’t be put off any longer, he needed to get his career back on track and he needed V by his side in order to do it, though he could tell that the fixer was nervous as hell about the whole thing.

-

Both drinking good, red wine and looking out over the city Kerry gently strokes the back of V’s hand with his fingertips, “Enny for ‘em,” he says softly.

“Hmm? Oh I dunno,” he answers shaking his head, “just got a million things going through my brain right now.”

Now reaching behind to stroke his input’s sandy hair, Kerry pulls their foreheads together, “Anything you wanna share?”

They are always open with each other, it’s what makes their relationship special, but V is finding it difficult to articulate exactly what is on his mind, “You know I’m scared right about this whole thing?” Kerry nods, “I just don’t want it to change anything, change us…”

Kerry lifts V’s chin softly to allow him to look into his eyes, “V, baby, the only thing that’s gonna change is that I’ll love you even more for coming with me, for leaving everything behind for two weeks just to keep old Kerry company.”

V chances half a grin at that, but the frown returns, “It’s just…what if…what if I don’t like it? It’s a huge part of your life, part of you, that I’ve never seen, what if me and ‘rock star Kerry Eurodyne’ just don’t get along?”

The hand tangled in his hair slips down to the back of his neck to pull him in even closer, “Baby, I am ‘rock star Kerry Eurodyne’, that guy is me, just me putting on an act. I’m expected to be bigger, brasher, bolder than your average Joe, it’s what brings in the eddies, but it’s not real, this is real, we are real, never forget that.”

-

The tour begins and ends in NC with a different state every day for twelve straight days in between, it means that it also begins and ends with them in their own bed which suits them both fine. A rarely set radio alarm rouses them groaning from their happy slumber, waking as they fell asleep, wrapped in each other’s arms. Five minutes later, still neither has opened an eye, though they have snuggled closer together and thrown a badly aimed cushion at the alarm. “V honey? You wanna set the coffee going while I jump in the shower?”

V makes an unintelligible noise and pulls Kerry’s arms around himself even more tightly.

“C’mon,” says the rocker softly, lips touching V’s shoulder, “shit to do today, ‘sides my arm’s dead so you’re gonna have to move.”

Grumbling, V pulls himself out of bed dragging the blanket with him and wrapping it around his shoulders, “You know that’s really childish right?” Kerry calls grinning after him as he plods down the stairs to start the day.

Most of their clothes are already with Kerry’s stylist, such mundane things as getting themselves dressed don’t interest rock stars, so Kerry showers and pulls on his leather pants and one of V’s shirts before following his nose to the coffee. “Mornin sunshine,” he tells V kissing him on the cheek and taking the offered mug.

“Mornin Ker, you’re looking good,” V offers, fighting off a yawn.

“You too, the blanket brings out the paisley in your eyes,” he laughs, “go get ready, we’ve got an hour til we need to delta.”

-

Just over an hour later, they’re sat in the back of a limo on the way to the TV studio for the first stop of the tour. Nervous energy radiates from them both, Kerry’s is more akin to excitement, whereas V’s is closer to fear. The car pulls up next to the stage door and Kerry graciously poses for photographs and signs posters for crowd that has collected there whilst V leans in the doorway hiding behind his sunglasses and waiting to be able to escape inside. Saying his goodbye’s with a jaunty wave Kerry grabs V’s hand and pulls him inside and down the corridor to the dressing room, checking messages as he goes.

Expecting a chance to sit down and spend some quality time with his input, V is disappointed to find the dressing room full of people he’s never met pulling Kerry this way and that until they are inevitably separated and V sit’s in a corner watching as his man is undressed, redressed, trimmed, coiffured, made-up and otherwise made a fuss of, it’s actually quite fun to watch his Ker being turned into a rock star, surreal but fun.

“Mr…erm V?”

“Just V,” he says, “you’re Jay, Kerry’s stylist, right?”

“Well, I work for the label, but yes, for the next two weeks I’m here for Mr Eurodyne and yourself.”

V’s eyebrows shoot up, he vaguely remembered Kerry saying something about sending a load of his threads to a stylist but he was definitely more comfortable dressing himself. “I don’t think so Jay, I can manage getting dressed by myself, been doin it for years,” he grins.

The already nervous stylist wrings their hands, wetting their lips before saying, “I’m so sorry Mr…V, Mr Eurodyne insisted.”

V shoots the pampered rock star on the other side of the room a dirty look, and gets a shrug and a kiss blown in return. “OK, fine. Just don’t make me look like a gonk.”

-

Some time later, V is sat in front of the mirror in the now empty dressing room while Kerry and his band do a sound check, the jacket Jay had chosen wasn’t one he usually wore but really fitted well and seemed to make the green of his eyes even more extraordinary, or that could have been the expertly applied make-up he’d been subjected to, and whatever they’d done to his hair it looked good, he could definitely get used to this.

Sound-check over, Kerry bursts back into the room to have a final smoke and swift drink before having to head back into the studio. The format for this evening is a candid interview about the substance of the soon to be released ‘Kerry Eurodyne’ album, book-ended by a performance of a couple of his new songs. V was to be introduced part-way through the interview segment as the driving force behind Kerry’s latest offering, as his muse, as his lover, it was all hella scary.

They’d spoken for weeks about whether or not this was a good idea and from the beginning it was Kerry that pushed for it, he wanted the world to see how happy V made him, how handsome, funny and kind he was, how many times he’d pulled him out of the shadows, basically he wanted to show him off. V, on the other hand, had spent years keeping a low profile, hiding his identity behind layers of ICE and lately at least working to quash rumours that he even knew Kerry Eurodyne, always worrying that it would make the rocker a target. Kerry won in the end because, as he pointed out, V already had a certain amount of local infamy and renown, he was virtually a celebrity in his own right these days, and as a fixer rather than a merc being well-known was actually a good thing, bringing in the big-eddie jobs. V wasn’t completely convinced but Kerry could be very, very persuasive.

“Shit V, you look hot,” Kerry purrs as he passes him a beer and runs his fingertips down the front of his jacket, “you feelin OK?”

“Yeah, I guess. Just wanna get it over with.”

Kerry smiles and pulls him into a hug, “Don’t go bailing on me now, I’d look like a real gonk if you didn’t show after all the horribly simpy things I’m about to say about ya.”

“Wouldn’t do that Ker, love you, see you out there,” he tells his input as he is called out to the studio by a producer and V is left alone once again.

-

Sitting nervously at the side of the stage, flanked by the producer and Kerry’s latest manager, V is enjoying Kerry’s stage performance as much as a fan as he is as his input. The band is tight, but Kerry’s performance is full of energy, full of life and the audience goes crazy at the end.

Gillean Jordan gushes for a good three minutes about what an extraordinary performer he is, how he has inspired generations of aspiring Rocker-boys, how torrid his private life has been and finally how he has made a phenomenal comeback before even introducing him onto the stage, but when she does there are another two minutes of cheering, cat-calls and screams before he can finally sit and compose himself, ready for the interrogation.

GJ: So Kerry, before your surprise collab with Us Cracks a couple of years ago, you’d had nearly ten years in the doldrums but you’ve come back with this new offering that fans and critics alike are calling your best work for years, what’s changed?

KE: Well Gill, I guess I’ve finally grown up (laughs from the audience), seriously, I’ve matured, cut out the crazy shit that was holding me back and found my vibe again.

GJ: This album is a lot less angry than your previous work, the song we just heard for example, Shivers, it’s very intimate, you could almost call it a love song.

KE: Yeah, a lot of these songs are like that raw, intimate, heavy. Feel like I’m moving into a more balanced, less angry phase of my life and I wanted to reflect that in the music.

GJ: It’s been two years in the making, is that right?

KE: Bout that, yeah.

GJ: Why so long?

KE: The songs kinda wrote themselves, didn’t take long at all, but there were…complications along the way, was out of circulation for a while, personal shit to deal with, then went through a couple of managers, had to polish up the songs, get a new band together, it’s kind of a miracle it’s out even now when I think about everything that’s happened in the last couple of years.

GJ: Later you’re performing another new song for us (cheers from the audience) ‘A Vision of Your Memories’, this one also has a theme of intimacy and you refer to the subject of the song as a hero, can you tell us more about that?

KE: Yeah, um, I needed saving and that’s what heroes do right? They save people.

GJ: The stories about your depression are true then?

KE: Not all of em, some are exaggerations, some just made shit up, but yeah, I was in a dark place for a while, til someone helped me out of the shadows.

GJ: This is the same someone that the album’s dedicated to?

KE: Couldn’t have done any of it without him Gill, come on over here V, let the lovely people see ya.

Nervously, V makes his way towards Kerry’s outstretched hand catching his fingers in his own as he nears and allowing himself to be pulled into a reasonably chaste kiss which whips the audience into a whirlwind of cheering and applause, Kerry turns to blow them kisses and wave while V clings tightly to his hand throwing out a quick wave and grinning to hide his nerves.

GJ: V, how lovely to finally meet the man who ….

V: Actually Gill we already met a couple of years back.

GJ: We did…?

V: Mhm, you were setting up on some steps and you told me to ‘fuck off out of the shot’.

The audience love it, they love him, every answer is given with a cheeky grin or turns into a hilarious anecdote and the last five minutes are basically him and Kerry riffing off of each other’s stories.

Kerry gets up to perform the closing number, the song that means so much to them both, the camera cuts occasionally to V’s proud face, watching his gorgeous mainline ripping through the song looking just off camera at his fixer.

-

As the tour progressed, V became more and more confident at being in front of the camera, Kerry’s fans seemed to love him and Kerry couldn’t have been more proud. About half way through, at about the same time Kerry decided V was going to be the interviews from the beginning, he started to be recognised, going down from the hotel room for late-night soda’s a couple of giggling girls dragged him into their selfie and a father checking his family in shouted his name until he waved for the kids, all in all it wasn’t so bad.

-

The last interview was back in NC, better still it was at the villa, they hadn’t lived there for months having started again in the condo, consequently it was pristine and an excellent backdrop for the days shenanigans, and even better than all that it was Nancy asking the questions.

 They woke up in their own bed for the first time in nearly two weeks, still not used to having an alarm call, but less grumpy than before about it. V steals one of Kerry’s robes to cover up in while he makes the coffee and Kerry jumps in the shower pulling on the same pants and shirt he’d come home in last night until something better came along.

Yet again, the smell of coffee draws him to V’s side, “You looking forward to today?”

“Sure,” replies the fixer, “it’s kind of a shame that it’s the last one really.”

Kerry chuckles throatily, “I knew that you’d be a natural, and who couldn’t love this,” he asks playfully pinching his input’s cheeks, “but you know that’s not what I meant.”

“I am, I just hope that Nance doesn’t get mad, I imagine she’s pretty scary when she’s mad.”

Thinking back to sixty odd years of Nancy getting mad at him for various things Kerry nods in agreement, “Yeah, but she really likes surprises so it’ll even out.”

Soon the house starts filling up with techies, band members, hair primpers and the like, Jay buzzes over with his choices for the day, keeping them co-ordinated but contrasting in electric-blue and black, the band set up in the bar, since today is being pre-recorded they can run through all their songs before the interview even starts which gives V an hour or so free to make sure their plan is in place. Furniture is shuffled around to catch the natural light, wires are hidden, cameras are tested and finally Nancy appears searching the villa for the boys, she finds V first who guiltily ends a call as she approaches.

“Hey V, it’s looking really good downstairs, I watched a few of your interviews back, you’re a natural!”

“Thanks Nance, yeah that’s just what Ker says, I think I’m just talking to hide the nerves though.”

Nancy gives a brisk laugh, “Nothing to be nervous of with me V, and I’ll try not to repeat the same questions for the hundredth time, is Kerry around?”

While Nancy searches the garden for her old band mate, V makes a last check that everything is ready and joins Kerry and Nancy downstairs. “Swell, we’re all here, if you boys want to sit over on the couch we’ve got some boring lighting and sound stuff to deal with.”

Their body language says everything about their relationship, Nancy muses as she goes about her business, they could not be sat any closer despite the couch easily being big enough for four or five, V left arm reaches across Kerry’s back like a barrier and his right rests gently on the other man’s knee whilst Kerry’s right hand has a firm grip on V’s thigh, his left alternating between being part of an animated chat and resting on V’s chest, their shining eyes never leave those of the other man and their smiles never fade, so intimate and familiar are they that it almost seems intrusive to be in the room with them at all. Intruding is Nancy’s business however so once everything is set up she taps Kerry’s knee, “Ready when you are boys.”

The interview has a slightly different flavour to the others given Nancy’s long friendship with the Rockerboy, she persuades him to recount long-forgotten tales of drunkenness and debauchery and throws some old snaps from her personal collection up onto the screen for V to laugh at, which he does heartily, especially at some of the stage clothes – or lack of them – that Kerry often wore in the early 20’s.

Inevitably the questions about their relationship begin, Nancy knew a little about V being sick when they first met, but didn’t pursue it too much, merely framing it as a background to why the album took so long and why it meant so much. She’d seen first hand how in love they were and related this to the viewers while they chipped in with anecdotes and jokes. She avoided the sugar-daddy question knowing full well that firstly it was beneath her skills and secondly that they’d been asked it about four times a day for the last two weeks, however, there was one question that they’d asked her to ask them and she found that too enticing to ignore,

“Kerry, V, you must be sick and tired of answering this question – or rather of avoiding answering it from what I’ve seen – but how exactly do a rock star and a merc meet and fall in love?”

“Nance, I think you’re being slightly unfair,” Kerry teases, “We’ve always answered the question, just not necessarily truthfully.”

“Fine so, I’ll ask you again, how did you meet?”

The two men look at each other and join hands, Kerry realises he’ll have to speak because V is busy losing it and trying not to laugh, “We met through a mutual friend, he kinda…threw us together.”

“I would struggle to see where the friendship groups of a performer and a mercenary overlap.”

“That’s because you lack imagination and vision Nance, always have.”

Every eye and camera in the room turns to look at the man leaning on the rail at the bottom of the stairs, a cigarette dangles from his hand, his wiry frame is dressed in leather pants and an aging Samurai tour vest and his eyes are covered by his lank hair and red-tinted shades, but it’s unmistakably him, “Johnny fucking Silverhand….”

Chapter Text

“Keep recording, just…give me a minute.” Nancy is uncharacteristically flustered by the current turn of events. She stands, arms folded defensively over her chest, watching as Johnny weaves through the equipment and wires and takes a seat next to V on the couch, perched on the edge leaning forwards with his elbows on his knees and hands clenched together.

Having him here should be a gift, a reporter’s wet dream, but Nancy is struggling to think of anything beyond the obvious just for the moment. He should be an old man by now, but he looks like the man in his thirties that she remembers, except he has a new chrome arm replacing the original that gave him his name. How the fuck is he here? What does it have to do with Kerry and V and why didn’t they fucking mention it before?

“Johnny, this is a surprise to say the least,” she finally manages regaining her composure and her seat, “have you been back for long?”

“’Bout eight months give or take, pretty out of it for the first few weeks, but been making up for my absence ever since.” V chuckles at the truth of it whist Kerry rolls his eyes.

“Can you share with the audience how you made it back to the land of the living?”

V interjects, “Turns out Arasaka had been keeping him on ice for the last fifty-four years, finding him was the easy part, finding someone who could fix him and put him back together is what took the time and the eddies.”

“Yeah, he was pretty fucked up,” Kerry picks up the narrative, “kinda in two pieces with his brain on a chip. Wasn’t easy but V was pretty determined, and when he sets his mind on something there’s not much can stop him.”

“So all of this was your idea V? I was presuming it was down to Kerry.” Nancy knew better than most how badly Kerry had missed Johnny when he disappeared, more than one night had been spent with him curled up on her couch sobbing himself to sleep, it wouldn’t have surprised her one bit to find out that he’d spent the last fifty years trying to find a way to bring him back. Looking at him now however, he seems ambivalent to the man’s presence, his eyes fixed on V alone. “Wait, if Johnny’s only been back a few months how did you even know him before you met Kerry?”

The three men exchange glances, knowing she was bound to ask the question that they couldn’t really answer, “That’s complicated and kinda classified,” V explains, “let’s just say that he could make himself heard for a while before he got his body back.”

“Or maybe my natural charisma is such that it transcends death?”

“Yeah, whatever Johnny.” V replies rolling his eyes.

Nancy thinks back to seeing V at the Red Dirt a couple of years ago. She’d been struck by how many things about him that night reminded her of Johnny, right down to his walk and the way he played the guitar, even the way he and Kerry bickered was the same, she’d never thought it about him before or since, but that night he could’ve been Johnny Silverhand. But that was a gonk idea right? Johnny couldn’t have been living in V’s head.

“Do you still play the guitar V?”

The change in direction throws them all for an instant, fortunately Kerry can see where this is going and manages to jump in, “He still dabbles, I taught him A Like Supreme for the gig at the Red Dirt but he prolly couldn’t remember it now.”

V glances at him gratefully, “Nah, can barely hold it the right way up, spent weeks learning to play that one tune and it still wasn’t great.” He smirks at the glare Johnny gives him,

“I’m sure you were fucking awesome V, I imagine the crowd loved you, especially the preem solo you played that sent them all wild.”

Nancy decides to move the questioning on to bring the focus back to Johnny, “So what do you intend to do with your second chance at life Johnny? Going back into the music biz?”

“Nah, it was never about the music I’ll leave that to Kerry, was about the message. No one listened though, corpo’s still run the world, everything’s still going to shit, not going to waste my time on that again. Been working with V, learning some skills y’know? Honest day’s work for an honest day’s pay.”

Knowing as she does the business V is in Nancy doubts that there’s anything particularly honest about how Johnny has been spending his time, “You seem in a good place, calmer, less volatile than you once were, is that fair to say?”

“I guess yeah, V kinda rubbed off on me, sure I’m still capable of grand dramatic gestures when it’s necessary though.”

“You and V seem very close for someone you’ve only known a few months.”

V squirmed uncomfortably in his seat, he wasn’t really enjoying where this was going, Johnny met his eyes briefly before plunging in, “Yeah, we’ve got a connection for sure, I understand the way his mind works, we work really well together.”

Nancy quirks an eyebrow at Johnny’s words, had Kerry finally got just what he wanted after all these years? “So are you three…together?”

“Shit no,” declares Kerry emphatically at the same time as Johnny who is equally emphatically shaking his head and scooting further away from them on the couch leaving V in the middle laughing. “He’s V’s project, not mine, doubt we’ve said more than a couple of dozen words to each other since he came back.”

“Yeah,” agrees V, “getting them talking is still a work in progress, ‘sides I’ve got Kerry and one prima-donna Rockerboy is enough for anybody.”

Kerry gives him a dig in the ribs with his elbow for that but is grinning indulgently at him at the same time. “Better believe it baby,” he tells him planting a kiss on his cheek.

There are so many things that Nancy wants to ask like how did he die? Does he remember it? What was his part in the Arasaka tower bombings? But Johnny is such an egotist his recollection would be unreliable at best, so with time running out she opts for something else, “It’s a rare thing to get a second shot at life, what are you looking forward to doing?”

Johnny has to think about that one, he’s been so used to just living life in the moment and being fuelled by anger that looking forward to things was never really on his radar, this time though it’s different, “I guess I’m looking forward to enjoying life rather than just living it, to being more laid back, more thankful, more forgiving.” Kerry tries to hide an incredulous look and V grins, patting Johnny on the arm with the back of his hand.

Nancy thanks them and the cameras stop rolling, the crew begin to pack away their kit and leave, Nancy waits until they’re out of earshot to confront the resurrected ex-rockstar turned merc, “You might be a changed man, but you still know how to bullshit Silverhand.”

“You better believe it Nance, I’ve got a reputation to fix and the sheep’ll believe whatever crap the TV tells em to.”

Kerry and V are still on the couch, quietly chatting and laughing together, Nancy is pleased that they’re not letting Johnny spoil what they’ve got, it’s something rare and very special.

“That’s a real gonk move that you pulled there boys, if it wasn’t the story of the year I’d be seriously pissed off at you.”

“Ah, c’mon Nance, you handled it like a pro. I can feel another Pulitzer coming on.” Kerry tells her. “We’re heading out for food and a couple of drinks, you in?”

“You bet I’m in, not ever going to pass up a chance to tell Johnny the millions of ways he’s pissed me off over the years,” she laughs.