Chapter Text
(We Are Loved By)Our Papa And Daddy
Chapter One: The Monster In The Garden
Iris was the one that first discovered the monster living in their garden. The monster was big, and long, and had sharp fangs and claws, with eyes that glowed. Consequently, Iris had told Fenella, who had gathered their brothers together to mount a hunting expedition to capture the monster and then set it free someplace else. So they had dressed in their hunting outfits(khaki shorts and t shirts) gotten their weapons(some old pool noodles that Daddy had bought for when they wanted to splash in the lake and still weren’t good swimmers yet), and after packing a hunters’ lunch(lots and lots of ham sandwiches and soda) they set out, bravely determined to find the fierce monster.
“And just where are you four going? And what’s with the pool noodles?” Daddy asked as he came out of his study. Fenella, as the designated leader, spoke for all four of them.
“There’s a monster in the garden, Daddy! And these aren’t noodles, they’re monster hitting swords!” She said with all the solemnity she could muster. Iris, Dylan, and Andrew nodded along with her., the four of them holding their ‘swords’ in the en garde position. “Iris found him, and we’re gonna go hunting and capture him, because we are very brave hunters!” Daddy nodded, biting his lip. “We’re gonna be gone long time, might need cookies when we get back.”
Daddy looked as serious as he could. “Well, I can’t deny four brave hunters cookies. Do my brave children, sorry, the hunters have any requests?”
“CHOCCY CHIP!” Four voices said at once, and Daddy could no longer hold back his laughter. He nodded, kissed them all, and they left to go on the hunt.
Once they had left, Aziraphale leaned against the door, laughing until he was breathless. He had a pretty good idea of who the ‘monster in the garden’ was, and he wished he could see the look on Crowley’s face when he got ‘captured.’ Still giggling, he went into the kitchen, sighed at the mess they had left behind, and began to clean up. Luckily, it wasn’t as much of a disaster as some of their messes could be. He loved his children, but sometimes they were a walking-or slithering-disaster waiting to happen.
Once everything was back in some semblance of order Aziraphale got down the ingredients needed for chocolate chip cookies. As he mixed the batter, he reflected that it had been three years since he came here and met the love of his life and two years since that terrible week where he almost lost everything. Dowling Circus had been investigated and shut down, with several of the circus folk coming forward and testifying about the cruel conditions they were forced to work in. Dowling himself was in an asylum, strapped down and drugged. Aziraphale couldn’t bring himself to feel one ounce of sorrow for the man that had treated his Mate and children as nothing more than something to be put on display.
Fenella took the lead, of course. As the oldest, she was the one that lead her sister and brothers on all their expeditions, the one who would climb the trees first and go diving deep in the lake. She had decided that they needed to be people shaped for this hunt, because scales made noise and bare feet didn’t. They were all in a line, going as quietly as they could. “Where’s the monster, Iris?” Fenella whispered as they darted from one tree to another, using them as cover. Iris thought, then pointed towards the south end of the garden. Fenella nodded solemnly, then motioned for the others to follow her. They marched over to the south wall of the garden and gasped.
The monster was even bigger than they thought! It was coiled up on the grass, sleeping, and the coils were huge! The monster looked really scary, and Dylan gulped. “That big big monster. It might eat us brave hunters up in one chomp!” He whispered. Andrew nodded.
“But we not brave hunters for nothing! We have our weapons!” He wielded his pool noodle, and the others did the same. “We all go at once, surprise monster in ambush!”
Fenella thought that was a good plan. “Alright, but we got to be real quiet until we can get close enough to strike with our monster hitting swords!” The others nodded, putting their fingers to their lips, then began to sneak towards the monster, who snuffled in its sleep and turned. The hunters froze, ready to run away if they had to, but the monster settled back down and began snoring. “Alright. Now!”
Yelling at the top of their lungs, the four hunters ran at the monster, their swords raised and ready for battle. Fenella landed the first blow, right on the monster’s scales, and the others, seeing how brave their fellow hunter was, came running in, thwacking at the monster.
Fenella suddenly found herself hanging upside down in the air. The monster had her by the waist, and it was going to eat her up! The monster blinked its scary golden eyes and spoke. “What Fenella doing?”
Iris came to her sister’s rescue. “Big scary monster, you put Fen down now! We going to hit you with our swords! We brave brave fierce hunters!” She punctuated this by thwacking the monster with the noodle. “Put Fen down!”
Crowley was on the verge of collapsing from laughter. He made his face as fierce as he could, and lifted Fenella higher. “No, Monster has captured this Hunter! Think Monster will eat her up in two bites!” Crowley lifted his giggling daughter higher, opening his mouth as wide as he could. Fenella mock screamed and whacked out with the noodle. “Oh! Hunter has triumphed over Monster! Monster hurt!” Crowley ‘cried’, rubbing at his nose. He flopped down on the grass, stretching out. That was the signal, and the hunters shouted in triumph and whacked the monster one more time. “Brave fierce hunters have won!” Crowley said, pretending to swoon in fear.
Fenella puffed her chest out. “Now, big scary monster, you going to come with us!” They poked the monster with their noodles, and Crowley made a pretend whimpering sound and allowed himself to be ‘herded’ out of the garden and towards the house.
Daddy was waiting, and he gasped when he saw the monster. “Oh my, you weren’t kidding! He is certainly scary, and you are all such brave hunters. There’s cookies for brave hunters waiting on the counter.” Daddy said, then jumped aside as the hunters stampeded towards the kitchen, yelling.
Aziraphale came over and kissed Crowley. “I hope the brave hunters didn’t disturb your nap, love.” Crowley smiled and shook his head.
“No, Crowley hear them come and pretend be sleep. Children good at sneak, but Crowley have good good hearing. Now, Aziraphale say something about cookies? Monsters like cookies too.” Crowley said hopefully. Aziraphale laughed.
“I made enough for everyone.” Crowley hissed happily and slithered into the kitchen, Aziraphale following. The children were sitting at the counter, glasses of milk in front of them. Aziraphale sighed and retrieved paper towels from under the counter, plonking them down. “Wipe your mouths, please.”
Crowley got his own cookies and joined them. “Monster love cookies! Love cookies almost as much as snakelets!” He growled, pretending to snap at Iris, who squealed and fells back, laughing. “Fierce monster eat snakelets up!”
Aziraphale grabbed a plastic spatula and tapped Crowley on the nose, looking as fierce as he could. “You will do no such thing, you monster! I will protect these brave hunters who are just eating cookies from you! You will not steal their cookies!” He winked at the children, who shouted and grabbed the plate of cookies. Crowley lunged for them, and the hunters, now cookie protectors, ran out into the garden, shouting. “Well, they’re going to need baths when they get back inside.” Aziraphale said, laughing. Crowley nodded. Aziraphale wiped up where they had spilled their milk in their haste to save the cookies.
“Crowley love his snakelets much lots.” Crowley said, going over to the window and watching them run around the garden. They could shift from Naga form to human form with ease now, and Crowley reflected on how much they had grown in both forms. They were three if you went by chronological age, almost ten if you went by mental, and nearly eight feet long when in Naga form. They barely remembered their time in captivity, which Crowley was grateful beyond measure for.
They were all as unique as could be. Fenella, as the oldest, was the protector but also the one guaranteed to cause the most trouble. Her siblings trusted her implicitly, and she took her role very seriously. She had Crowley’s red hair and white scales when in Naga form, and when she was human shaped her red hair had streaks of white in it. She was his helper in the garden, Aziraphale’s helper in the kitchen, and always the first one to try new things. She favored long, flowing, dresses and skirts when in her human form, and Maddie was teaching her how to sew.
Iris was the complete opposite of her twin, white scales and white hair that she had inherited from her Daddy when Naga, and hair so blonde it was nearly white when she was human. She loved nothing more than sitting with Aziraphale on the sofa as they read together, one of the cats in their laps. Iris had learned to read at a pace that had astounded Aziraphale, and she was constantly looking for new books. She had been lucky in that she hadn’t been captured, but after her siblings and Papa came home, she had been plagued with nightmares in which they were captured again, but this time Daddy and Auntie Ana hadn’t found them. Daddy and Papa had assured her that would never happen, that the circus had been closed down for good.
Dylan and Andrew were each others’ shadow. Where one was, the other was sure to be close by. They were loud and boisterous, but could also be quiet and thoughtful. Andrew was a budding artist, and Aziraphale had plastered the fridge with his drawings. Like Iris, Andrew too was a voracious reader, preferring adventure stories above all else. Aziraphale was pretty sure he had Treasure Island memorized. Dylan was becoming a rather good assistant baker, and together he and Aziraphale had made some elaborate desserts.
There was surprisingly little quarrels or sibling rivalry between them. Oh, once in a while they got into arguments, but they usually made up very quickly and went on to the next thing that Fenella thought up.
Aziraphale came over to the window, watching the children run around for a bit. “How’s fish sound for dinner?” Crowley nodded, licking his lips. “I’ve set the heads aside for you, and there’s a raw one in the fridge.” Crowley wiggled happily.
“Good good, Crowley love nice crunchy heads and raw raw fishes. Aziraphale want Crowley call children inside for wash?” Aziraphale nodded, and Crowley opened the window. “Snakelets! Come inside for wash up! Dinner be ready soon!”
“But Papa!!” Four voices chorused, pleading. Crowley glared out at them.
“No ‘But Papa!’ Snakelets come inside and wash, or Papa come out there and get them!” The snakelets giggled and shifted into Naga form, slithering as fast as they could in four different directions. Crowley hissed in pretend anger and headed out to the garden. He would never admit it, but he loved this game as much as the children did. “Papa find snakelets! Snakelets can’t hide from Papa!” He hissed, scenting the air. Not that he needed to. A bit of white was disappearing under the blackberry bushes, and Crowley could hear a distinctly hissing sounding giggle. Crowley nonchalantly slithered over to the bushes, then with a roar lunged and pulled out a wiggling, giggling Iris. “Ha! Papa capture first snakelet!” Iris giggled and climbed onto his back, wrapping her arms around his waist. “Now, we find other snakelets!”
Fenella was hiding in one of the apple trees. Crowley caught her as she jumped down, and she sat on his scales, holding on to his sides. Andrew and Dylan were behind the potting shed, and Crowley ‘chased’ them around it, the five of them giggling and Iris and Fenella encouraging their Papa on.
“Snakelets all on?” Crowley asked as Dylan slithered up onto his shoulders and Andrew clung to his front. There was a chorus of “YES, PAPA!” and Crowley slithered towards the house. Aziraphale was waiting, a smile on his face. “Found snakelets!” Crowley said happily.
“We want dinner, Daddy!” They chorused. Aziraphale tutted.
“You four are not going anywhere near any sort of food until you go and wash. And that means using soap, and no splashing the bathroom mirror!” He shouted as the children raced up the stairs. “Flip you for who gets to clean the mirror this time?” He asked, coming into Crowley’s arms. Crowley kissed the top of his head.
“Crowley do it this time.” He promised, and Aziraphale sighed in relief. “Fish smell good.”
“Oh good, it’s a new recipe I found in Agnes’ book. I’d better go check on it.” Aziraphale reluctantly extracted himself and went to check on the fish for himself and the children. Cooked to perfection. He pulled the tray out, not bothering with pot holders(being able to create and wield fire meant he was pretty well heat proof), and got down four plates. Crowley’s fish was on its own plate in the fridge, and Aziraphale got it out and placed the fish heads in a circle around it.
Like their Papa, the snakelets could eat raw meat without any consequences. But like their Daddy, they preferred to have it cooked. They all loved fruit, and Aziraphale made sure to always have some on hand, either from the market or from their massive garden. Tonight it was apples from the garden and raspberries from the market.
Aziraphale went to the foot of the stairs. “DINNER!” He jumped aside just as his children came stampeding down like a herd of elephants. They ran to the table and sat, looking like they had never eaten a single thing all day.
Crowley took his place at the table, looking just as eager. Aziraphale served everyone, then himself. He still had to remind himself sometimes that he didn’t have to say Grace before a meal. But he still liked to say something, so he had made up his own prayer. “Thank you for this food. Let’s eat!”
Conversation flowed somewhat erratically as they ate, with Aziraphale interrupting now and then to tell the snakelets to get their elbows off the table, their fingers out of each other’s food, and to stop kicking the chair. Happily, he didn’t have to do it too much, as they had pretty decent table manners.
The snakelets told a highly exaggerated version of their hunting expedition, complete with wild gestures and ‘scary’ voices for the monster. Crowley and Aziraphale nearly died laughing. After dinner, Iris and Andrew helped Aziraphale with the dishes while Fenella and Dylan helped Crowley get the fire going. “Why not have Daddy do this?” Fenella asked. Crowley struck a match and got the fire lit.
“Fenella know Daddy fire only for ‘mergency.” Crowley scolded lightly. “For when Papa not have any more matches or when need light quick because cold cold.” Fenella nodded and slithered onto the sofa, coiling up. Crowley, who was of course far too large to fit on any of the furniture, rested his upper half on the sofa.
“Fenella braid Papa’s hair? Put ribbons in?” She asked, and Crowley nodded. Fenella raced up to her bedroom, returning with a handful of ribbons. She loved braiding Papa’s hair. Papa had such long, pretty hair, and it was the same color as hers! She climbed back on the sofa and bent to her task.
Crowley let himself relax as Fenella wound ribbons of all shapes and colors into his hair. He loved spending time with his children and Mate, just being together in their cottage. After so many years alone, Crowley finally had a tribe he could call his own.
He hadn’t thought of his birth family in decades. He no longer cared to return to the place he had been born, and apart from Bee, who was living very happily in the forest, he never wanted to see any of his birth family ever again. He had his own family. He had a Mate and children that he loved beyond anything and that loved him just as fiercely, humans that weren’t repulsed by his appearance, and real friends. He no longer had to worry about skulking about in the forest scavenging for food.
“All done, Papa!” Fenella crowed some minutes later. Crowley looked at his reflection in the mirror over the fireplace. Fenella had, once again, used every single ribbon she had. Crowley smiled. “Daddy! Come see, I put ribbons in Papa’s hair!”
Dylan, who had been watching, was giggling too hard to speak. Aziraphale came over, Andrew and Iris trailing behind. Aziraphale burst out laughing. “You certainly did, my love! Your Papa looks adorable. Well now.” Aziraphale came over and sat on the sofa. The children snuggled up to him as he picked up the book on the coffee table. “Who remembers where we were?”
“Jim had just found out that Mr. Silver was going to mutiny.” Andrew said. Aziraphale nodded and flipped to the page. He began to read, making sure to do the voices. The fire crackled, and outside the stars shone bright.
Iris was the one to drop off first, her head landing in Crowley’s lap. He gently scooped her up and carried her upstairs, tucking her in and kissing her goodnight. Andrew was next, and Aziraphale took him and tucked him in, then Dylan. Fenella, who insisted on staying up with Papa and Daddy, managed to last ten more minutes before finally falling asleep.
Crowley and Aziraphale kissed them all goodnight, wished them dreams of whatever they loved best, and crept out of their room. “They’re such angels when they’re sleeping.”
“Little devils when ‘wake, though.” Crowley said with a smile. Aziraphale laughed.
In their beds, the four brave hunters, who had captured the elusive Papa Monster, slept, dreaming of other adventures.