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He's heaving onto the toilet bowl again. This is the third time this week sukuna has puked out carnation petals, his stomach feels sick , he can't breathe.
"It's getting worse" he thinks.
Him and Megumi have been married for four years now, together for six and it still feels like his dream has come true . Never in his life he had thought he'd get to marry someone he loves , heck! He didn't even think someone could love him back!
"Well we weren't wrong about that now were we?" Sukuna quickly stops that thought before it can consume him fully. It can't be , everything was going fine. Sukuna tries to convince himself that yes , everything is fine and Megumi still loves him.
Dusting his pants off he heads to the shower , while heading there he catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror . He's paler now , significantly lost weight. " Not that Megumi would notice" a traitorous thought worms into his head. He takes off his clothes and starts the water , keeping it the coldest temperature it can get. He starts to scrub away the thoughts that suggest his marriage was a failure, the body that indicates he was right all along and the worst part is that he wasn't completely wrong either. Megumi did love him but the love seemed to have faded away now that they're over their honeymoon phase.
He is ordering dinner when he hears the familiar key jingle and shuffle of the door signalling his husband is home.
" Hey love welcome home, how was your day?" He asks.
" It was fine, tiring as always" Megumi replies as he drags his feet away to the shower.
Flowers threaten to rise up his throat as sukuna realises it's the fifth day in a row Megumi forgot to kiss him after coming home. There used to be a time when he couldn't get him off because Megumi missed him so much and was glad to be home.
Sitting on the couch he starts to think of all the ways their relationship has changed for the worse. They never had sex anymore, when sukuna suggests the idea Megumi appeared mildly disgusted, they stopped kissing each other goodbye or welcome home. Heck! They haven't even had a meaningful talk in forever. To be honest Sukuna misses it ,misses the way Megumi would cling to him , misses the way they'd murmur sweet nothings after sex, misses the way he'd get hugged the moment Megumi comes home from work. So much has changed and he's only now acknowledging it .
They eat in complete silence as Megumi smiles over something on his phone, he wonders what it might be. With burning lungs and an aching heart he sleeps beside his husband, feeling so cold in a bed that has never felt anything less than warm .
♡
He's puking again, this is becoming a real pain in the ass he thinks. He can't do this anymore, he knows he has to let go. He cannot keep sacrificing his body for Megumi and their non existent love anymore. It's dead at night , he's trying not to sob as he finds Megumi's lipstick stained tshirt in the washing machine. He always forgets to separate the whites Sukuna giggles, or tries to as more blood and carnations start pouring out of his throat .
"Sukuna? What's wrong?" He hears. God it couldn't be any worse of a timing to talk about this.
" Oh this? Why don't you tell me blessing, what does it look like to you?" With all the strength he has left , he musters up the courage to do the thing he has been putting off for half a year now.
" Sukuna baby please, let me explain"
" EXPLAIN WHAT FUSHIGORO? Are you seriously going to tell me that this disease is fake? Or that I am the one cheating? No , I want to know what bullshit excuse you have"
" Sukuna please just give me a chance , I'm sorry-"
" No cause fuck you Megumi. I have been ignoring the signs , letting my body grow weaker everyday just for the single hope that you will grow to love me again , I ignored all the nights you were out "working" , I ignored all the stained collars BECAUSE I LOVED YOU"
"loved?" Megumi whispers , now in tears.
" Yes , loved . Because I am going to get out of here and get the surgery, I loved you Megumi. The six years we were together I gave you my everything and for what? For you to lose what you felt after a few years? I am no longer going to waste my breathe on you-" I try to say as I stagger and fall on the bathroom floor.
This same bathroom floor in which we make love countless times. On this floor where we held each other and danced in the showers, here where we had our first ever fight and now on this floor our last ever memory.
He has always had put his relationship first , always wanted to make this his first and last relationship and he did whatever was necessary. But for once he's not going to let his fear of loneliness control him. He is going to leave this hellhole where he sacrificed everything and going to get his life back , no matter whether it costs him these memories or his heart .
He'll learn again, he'll learn how to love and trust someone again. He'll manage to get his life back and separated from Megumi but he can't let himself erode for someone else. Not any longer , not anymore.