Work Text:
School bell rings, walk me home
Sidewalk chalk covered in snow
Lost my gloves, you give me one
"Wanna hang out?"
Yeah, sounds like fun
Video games, you pass me a note
Sleeping in tents
It's nice to have a friend
They for sure didn't plan the prank would go like this: All the dorms in the Gryffindor tower were unusable, and all because Sirius couldn't hold his excitement when he finally got the charm Remus was teaching him. In one bait of his wand and an incredibly wrong timing and place, he disappeared all the Gryffindor beds instead of the Slytherins’. And not only were it all gone, but also nowhere to be found -probably in the bottom of the Great Lake- and until McGonagall figures out how to get the beds back, all of the Gryffindor house will live in the common room.
None of them is happy about that, not only the prank went incredibly wrong, but now they can’t escape in the middle of the night to try to finish what they started, which is probably why McGonagall decided to make them all have a sleepover in the common room in the first place. It's the easiest way for her to make sure that they won't try to do it, while keeping an eye on all of them at the same time.
“Well, I mean it's not entirely my fault,” Sirius said while changing into his pyjamas to go down to the common room. “You are too good of a teacher Moony”.
“Don't make this my fault”. Remus cuts him.
Sirius tries to justify himself, “I'm just saying that if you weren't-”
“Please don’t start another fight,” Peter said.
Recently almost every conversation between the both of them ended in them arguing. Sirius doesn't understand why it happens, it's like there's all this tension between them, like something is ready to explode all the time. It's not like it's messing with their friendship, and for Sirius it is kinda fun. But probably they are not the best people to be around, so he gets that Peter and James would find it annoying and try to keep it to a minimum.
“We are not fighting-”, Sirius said.
At the same time Remus almost yells “it’s enough that I also got detention for this, when I had nothing to do with it.”
“But you were planning to do it, just later,” James joked, ignoring Sirius' comment.
“We were all planning to do it! But somehow Sirius and I are the only ones who McGonagall yelled at.”
Sirius doesn't know why Remus is so affected by this, it's not like it is something new, they have been getting detention for more than six years now. He decides that the best thing to do right now it's apologise, even when he doesn't understand why.
“C'mon Moony, I'm sorry I dragged you into this too. Can you forgive me?” Sirius says in a tone that he knows Remus can't say no to. He has a soft spot for him, and always forgives him easier than the others.
“Fine, you are right, I'm too good of a teacher,” Remus teases him, rolling his eyes.
“Ha, maybe you should do that for a living someday. Now let's go, I'm tired” Peter says and rushes them downstairs.
When the four friends arrive to the common room the place is already crowded, there are small groups of students talking everywhere. All the floor is covered in mattresses, blankets and pillows. It feels really cozy. James immediately recognizes Lily at the other side of the room, next to the fireplace, they follow him to meet with the girls.
“So, what did you do?” Mary says in an accusing tone to James.
“What do you assume we had something to do with this?” he replies pretending he is incredibly hurt by the accusation “Sirius and Remus did it”.
The girls laugh and Remus throws a pillow at him, which makes the boys laugh.
“Well, that's no surprise either, '' Marlene says, “I wish you would've told us that you were planning something, cause when we got here all the good places were already taken. And there's not enough mattresses for all of us, so some of us are going to have to share,” she waits for them to complain, but when no one says anything she continues, “we have only four mattresses. We don't really want to sleep with any of you, so me and Mary have no problem sharing”.
“Do you want to share a bed with me Lily?” James squeaks. They all look at eachother and laugh again.
“Yes love, i'll share a bed with you”. Lily responded laughing. Sirius can't believe that after years of James and Lily being friends, and pining after each other, they are finally together. He can't believe how long it took them to do something about their feelings.
“There's no way I'm sharing a bed with Peter. Sorry mate, you're a kicker when sleeping,” Sirius excuses when Peter complains “And I won't let you go through that Remus, so you are stuck with me. You'll find a way to thank me later”.
“Thank you?” Remus says, raising his eyebrow.
“No, i said to thank me later” Sirius says playfully winking an eye to Remus. Which makes him blush. It's not new to Sirius to flirt with his friends, he’s been doing it for forever, but recently flirting with Remus is his favourite thing to do. He blushes so easily, and it's a very lovely thing to see. Also, lately he has been feeling a new sense of appreciation for Remus, it's not like he didn't love his friend before, but now all Sirius wants to do is make Remus laugh and blush, and be nice to him. Even when there is tension between them, all he wishes is to see Remus' lovely face when he is annoyed.
When picking up who is having each mattress, they get in a little fight. Sirius and Remus ended up winning, so they chose the mattress in front of the fireplace. Next to them are Mary and Marlene, then Lily and James and at the other side of the group is Peter. All line up next to each other.
After they finish setting up the mattresses, Peter goes to sleep, and the rest of the group go to a little table in the corner, that for some reason isn't taken - absolutely not because its their favourite and they put a spell on it like three years ago, to always be available for them- and talks for hours. It's a Saturday night, so there's no pressure to wake up early the next morning.
Lily is the first to yawn, and then they realise everyone else in the room is already sleeping. So they all decide it's time to go to sleep too, except for Sirius and James who decide to finish the Exploding Snap game they were playing, and then follow the rest.
Remus is already tucked in bed when Sirius lay next to him. “Hey, I know you like sleeping alone, and since this is all my fault, I could go sleep on the floor if you want”.
“Don't be stupid. It was my fault too, and also I don't mind sleeping with you. As long as you don't cuddle me in the middle of the night we will be okay” Remus says playfully.
For some reason the last comment hurts Sirius, but he can't really figure out why. So he forced a laugh. Remus doesn’t seem to notice it.
“Goodnight Sirius”.
“Night Remus”.
Sleeping next to the fireplace makes the room very warm. He thinks that maybe it could also be because of the werewolf he has sleeping next to him. Whatever the reason, the warm feeling is nice and it makes him feel safe and at home.
Sirius sleeps very well, and for the first time in a while nothing haunts him in his dreams, he is happy in the woods running with the moon.
----------
When Remus wakes up his arm is resting around Sirius' waist, it doesn’t feel weird, it's a nice feeling, that makes him hold him linger in that place, before letting go.
Some people are already waking up, and if they see them like this it could be motive of gossip. And he certainly doesn't need that. It's not a secret to anyone that he is gay, so a rumour that he was cuddling a boy wouldn't take long to reach the whole school. Except that the boy is Sirius, and something like that for sure would force Sirius to come out to everyone, and even though he already told their friends, he said he doesn’t want everyone to know yet. So in honour of their friendship he gets out of bed, and goes to the dormitory to change his clothes.
Remus is pulling his pants up when James comes out of the bathroom. It's barely eight in the morning, so it makes sense that they are the only ones of their friends who are awake. James likes to spend the morning in the quidditch field, and with the whole moon coming next weekend Remus isn’t sleeping much.
“Good Morning Moony. Want me to wait for you so we can have breakfast together?”
“Hi Prong. Yes, please”. He quickly changes to his warmest sweater, grabs a couple books to get started on homework later, and his gloves -knowing that he will probably need them later- and then meets James at the end of the stairs.
While they make their way out of the common room he takes one last look at Sirius sleeping peacefully. The fire is still on since the night before, and is reflecting in his skin, making it shine like gold.
When they are finally out of the common room, and completely alone James says “I saw the two of you this morning, you seem really cute together.”
Remus rolls his eyes and cuts him “Don't say that”.
James ignores him, and continues talking “Are you planning on telling him how you feel?”
“For what? We are friends, and I'm sure he doesn’t want anything like that with me”.
“Don't use the 'being friends' excuse, you know it can work, see me and Lily for instance. And what if he does want you?”
Remus knows this conversation doesn’t make any sense. Of course Sirius doesn’t like him back. He let that illusion go years ago. “Yes, sure. The fact that I'm the only openly gay man that he knows in Hogwarts doesn’t mean that he likes me.”
“No Moony, you know I didn’t mean it like that.” James excused himself, “I think that he could like you because you are you, and you are amazing in every way. I mean it.”
“Prongs, are you confessing your love to me?” Remus said while laughing.
“Yes, i'm in love with you and i want us to run away together, and get married, and-”
“I'm sorry mate, I'm not available at the moment. I kinda have a crush on your best friend” Remus said interrupting him.
“Are you serious?”
“No, but with the love confession I kinda wish you were.”
“Please don’t make a Sirius joke, I have enough with him.” They both laugh.
The conversation dies when they arrive at the Great Hall and start filling their mouths with food. Having breakfast with James always turns into a competition of who can eat more, and they end up stuffed for hours.
When they finish only Lily has joined them, instead of waiting for the rest - what could take hours- they decide to go to the Quidditch field, and while James flies alone, Remus and Lily do their homework. Luckily she doesn’t mention Sirius. Probably because she didn't notice them last night, because if she had they would be having a conversation about how important it is to tell Sirius about his feelings and how lovely they would be together. She is such a good friend, and cares so much about his happiness. She was the first person outside of the marauders who knew he was a werewolf, and also the first one to realise about Remus' crush on Sirius -even before Remus himself figured it out.
A little after lunch they go outside again to hangout by the -now frozen- Great Lake. Last winter they picked up the habit of making fun of the people who try to ice skate and fail. Remus usually uses it as an excuse to actually watch Sirius ice skate, a truly majestic thing to see. They usually spend the whole day there, making little fires to keep them warm, and charming the snow around them to not bother them.
The rest of the group joins them a couple minutes later, bringing with them enough food for the whole day.
“The elves feel bad that we didn’t eat all day, so they spoil us.” Peter said while devouring a piece of cake. “Did anyone else have the worst night ever? It is incredible what a little change of scenery can do to someone's sleeping habits.”
“Mate, your sleeping habits are trash in any place. Me on the other hand, oh, I had the best night of sleep ever, and all because of the beautiful presence of Moony” Sirius exclaimed, while dramatically bowing to Remus, and immediately Remus blushed.
There's no way that he doesn’t realise the effects that his words have on him, even when it is a joke. All the flirting has become too much, it almost feels real, and it's too hard to handle. Luckily James notices the situation -Remus' entire red face is hard to miss- and changes the topic.
They spend the whole day next to the lake, eating, talking, and playing made up games in the snow, which end up in Sirius having to sit next to fire -because of course Mr leather jacket is not wearing weather appropriate clothes- immediately Remus follows him, and sits by his side. Sirius lay his head on Remus' shoulder. It fit perfectly, like the spot in Remus body was made for Sirius.
“Come here Padfoot, you are freezing” Remus says, passing his arm behind Sirius' back and pulling him closer to his body. Sirius immediately melts into Remus side.
“Thanks the werewolf in you for how warm you are Moony,” Sirius blurted, then he continued talking “actually, no. You would be as warm if you weren't a werewolf. It's part of you. Thanks for being you.”
Remus looks at him, his nose and cheeks are red - not blushing, but from the cold- and he is rubbing his hands together next to the fire. “I get that wearing something that would actually protect you from the cold would ruin you ‘I'm Sirius Black nothing can bother me’ vibes but why aren't you at least wearing the gloves that I made you?”
“Oh, sorry. I didn't wanted to tell you. I think I lost them.” Sirius says embarrassed, hiding his face in Remus' neck.
Remus takes his gloves off and offers them “Here, you should put this.”
“No Moony, you would freeze too. There is no point” Sirius says, refusing to take the gloves.
“You should at least keep one and I'll have the other. Please, do it for me” Sirius agrees and puts one glove on, and with his other hand he grabs Remus hand 'so we won't be cold' he stated.
They stay in silence like that for a while, watching their friends who are still playing in the snow, Mary throwing snowballs at Peter screaming he is a traitor and that they were in the same team, James laughing uncontrollably and Lily and Marlene doing snow angels, he notices that Lily looks at him for a moment and raises an eyebrow -this is definitely going to be a long conversation later, Remus thinks-
After a while Sirius breaks the silence “I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable earlier” he says, and it really sounds like he meant it.
“I don’t know what you are talking about” Remus lies.
“I just wanted to let you know, that I slept really good with you, and it was the first night in months that I didn’t have any nightmares, and also I felt incredibly warm,” he pauses a moment, “sorry I don't know why I said that,” he pauses again for a few seconds, and Remus can see him really thinking his next words, “what I mean is that you are a good friend, and I'm lucky to have you in my life, and I had a really good night and I hope you would want to sleep with me tonight.” Sirius says in one breath.
“We don’t even know if McGonagall didn’t solve the issues with the beds already.”
“Yeah, right. But if she didn’t, would you sleep with me again tonight?”
“Yes Sirius, I would love to” the words came out of Remus mouth before he could think about it. But he’s able to keep to himself the thought that he would happily sleep next to Sirius everyday for the rest of their lives.
“Thanks Moony”. Sirius says in a lovely tone, and sideways Remus can see Sirius smiling and blushing.
----------
After dinner, when they arrive at the common room they see that the mattresses that were scattered all over the floor the night before are now arranged on top of each other, close to the walls, leaving space so that during the day they can walk with no problems through the place.
“So, they still haven't found the beds,” James says. “I suppose we will keep the same sleeping arrangement for tonight?”
Everyone agrees, and goes to their dormitories to change into their pyjamas. Sirius proposes to take Remus' record playing to the common room to put on some music. He insists that it's their fault that the whole house is bored and has nothing to do all together in the common room, and although it's not entirely true - because there are plenty of things to do - James agrees with him, and together convince Remus that it's the right thing to do.
When they finally go down to the common room, Lily is already there waiting, claiming the spot next to the fireplace where they all slept last night. Sirius starts to play his favourite records, until Mary arrives and changes it to ABBA, 'something that everyone can enjoy' she said. Given that it's Sirius' guilty pleasure, he is content with the change anyways, and sings his heart out in every song.
After a while Sirius starts to get tired of being the only one singing, James and Mary are having a discussion about quidditch about who is the greatest player of all times, Marlene is nowhere to be seen -probably in the slytherin dorms with Dorcas- and Peter is falling sleep in his mattress on the floor. He looks at Remus to see if he is already asleep, he sees him laying down talking to Lily. A strange feeling fills Sirius - he can't quite place where is coming from, but to see that Remus not only is awake but also talking with someone else instead of singing with him, feels like having a monster living in his stomach - so he immediately goes up to them.
When he's close enough to hear their conversation, Lily is muttering something along the lines of “not letting him get hurt”. Before Remus gets the chance to talk back, Sirius speaks.
“Lily, get up, that place is taken” .
“But we were having a conversation,” Lily complains.
“Sorry to interrupt, but I'm tired” Sirius answered, while shrinking his shoulders.
“I saw you singing two seconds ago,” Remus notes.
Sirius pretends to yaw, and playing dumb says “I can go sleep with Wormtail if you prefer-”
Remus cuts him “No, it's okay, Lily was about to leave” then he turns to her, and in a please be okay with this tone says “we can keep talking tomorrow.” Lily complains a little bit before she finally gets up, and immediately Sirius takes her place. She says goodnight to both of them, and then leaves to go next to James and Mary.
“What were you talking about?” Sirius asks intrigued, because what could be more interesting than spending time together - all together, as a friend group, of course.
“Um.. boys.”
Sirius can see the words leaving Remus mouth, but doesn’t comprehend the meaning of it until the feeling Sirius had before invades him again. Without thinking he asks “So do you fancy some boy Remus?”
Remus gets notoriously uncomfortable with the question, so Sirius tries to erase the tension, but for some reason he is incredibly nervous, and fails to find the right words. He manages to say all in one breath “sorry, that sounded kinda rude, I didn't mean it like that, it just that we used to talk about this things, and I feel like we are fighting all the time, and we are not talking about things anymore, and fear that you won't want to hang out with me anymore, and I'm sorry if I made something to upset you, and-”
Once again Remus cuts him and calmly says “It okay, we are okay, relax Pads” he pauses for a second “I don't fancy anyone right now.”
“Oh cool, but you know you could tell me if you did.” There is definitely a nervous tone in his voice, so he clears his throat and keeps going “You can tell me anything Monny“. He thinks that of course they can tell each other anything, they are Padfoot and Moony, so why shouldn't they talk about what is going on in their lives?
So they start talking, and once it starts it just doesn't end, so they keep talking. They spend almost the whole night talking to each other in whispers, so they don't bother their friends, who by that time are sleeping. It doesn't matter that they both have classes very early tomorrow, nothing is more important than this moment. They talk about everything and nothing at the same time. Talking with Remus is the easiest thing ever, they just never run out of themes of conversation. It’s effortless.
Many times Sirius gets the feeling that Remus is about to say something but stops himself. But it probably didn't happen, probably it's just his mind playing games with him, probably it's because he's tired.
They fall asleep in the middle of the conversation, Sirius is not sure who fell asleep first, or if they fell asleep at the same time. The only thing he knows is how close their bodies are, noses almost touching, legs almost intertwined, hands almost grabbed. But he doesn't do anything, because almost doesn't feel like enough reason to move, to give his comfort away -and he is so comfortable at the moment- so Sirius just falls asleep like that, hoping that Remus is as happy as he is.
Light pink sky up on the roof
Sun sinks down, no curfew
Twenty questions, we tell the truth
You've been stressed out lately? Yeah, me too
Something gave you the nerve
To touch my hand
It's nice to have a friend
The next day, at breakfast Dumbledore announces that the Griffyndor living situation is going back to normal. With this announcement Remus' day doesn't have a good start. He was having such lovely nights sleeping with Sirius, and he was hoping that it could last at least a little more, especially after the talk they had the night before. But at least now he won't panic and have to stop himself a million times to tell Sirius that he is in love with him.
Naturally, he's feeling down and his friends notice that, so Remus has to spend the whole day giving them silly excuses about his mood -he's just tired, the moon, he is hungry, he has to study.
The worst part is when in the middle of the History of Magic class Sirius starts to throw him notes; “Are you okay Moony?”, “You can tell me if something is wrong”, and of course he doesn't even lose the chance to flirt -because Sirius just can’t stop doing it ever- “You look beautiful even when you are mad”. The last one makes Remus laugh and blush, but he continues to ignore Sirius, which ends up being a bad idea, because Sirius charms the little pieces of paper to fly around Remus' head. At the end he can't take it anymore, and Remus writes a note back saying that he is trying to pay attention to the class.
When he runs out of excuses and classes to pretend he is interested in, Remus decides to exile himself to the library, and catch up with homework.
The only person he talks to is Lily, but only for a little bit, because she starts to ask questions about Sirius and the night before, and how being friends doesn't mean that he can't have feelings. Luckily she is smart enough to change the subject before Remus runs away from her too, so they spend the day together, doing homework, studying and not talking about obvious feelings.
After dinner, when they go back to the dormroom, the beds are in fact back. But also a strange odour, that probably means that the last two days they were -in fact, as Sirius predicted- at the bottom of the lake. Remus is still in a bad mood, and doesn't want his friends to keep asking questions to figure out why, so he is the first one to go to bed. He quickly changes to his pyjamas and closes his curtains after saying goodnight.
Alone in bed he feels empty, and unable to sleep, so he picks up a book and starts reading. He doesn't actually read a word, because his brain is thinking about Sirius, wishing he were at his side, almost pleading for it. He starts to relive the conversation they had last night, every moment, and also the moment when they woke up, and were still in the same position they fell asleep, and how they just kept talking until James yelled at them to hurry up because it was late and breakfast was almost over. He is going to live in these memories for now on.
Remus doesn't know how much time he spends like this, when comes out of his thoughts the room is quiet. And then he notices Sirius is opening the curtains to get to Remus' bed. He immediately looks back at his book, and tries to pretend that he doesn't care, that he wasn't one minute ago begging the universe for this to happen, he asks “You couldn't sleep?”.
Sirius looks at the floor, avoiding Remus' eyes at all when he answers “No, it's just that the bed smells funny and also it feels so big and no matter what I do it is really uncomfortable '' when he finishes the sentence his face is so red that Remus can notices it in the dark.
Again, his mouth is talking before his brain catches up with his feelings about what Sirius just said “You can sleep with me tonight”. Then Remus realises how desperate he must sound, and tries to play it cool saying “but no talking, so I can finish this book”.
As soon as the words leave his mouth Sirius is beside him in the bed, and no more than two minutes after that Sirius is soundly asleep. Which is great for Remus, because he doesn't know how much longer he could've pretend to read.
For the third night in a row, they slept together - as friends, Remus reminded his brain who keeps forgetting that part- but this time it is not because they had to, instead they chose to do it, and that feels even better. And also it breaks his heart a little.
Being in love with your best friend is a confusing thing.
----------
In the next few days it becomes a routine, they all go to sleep in their own beds, but in the middle of the night Sirius goes to Remus' bed. He doesn't know exactly why he does it, but it brings him comfort and a warm feeling in his chest. Also he is sleeping extremely well, so he can't complain.
Usually Remus is reading when Sirius goes into his bed, but he always seems to be waiting for him. Sirius knows it is probably a coincidence, but he likes to think that Remus finds as much comfort as him in sleeping together. It doesn't really matter why Remus does it, but every night when Sirius asks if they can sleep together, he lets him get into his bed and curl next to him, and Sirius falls asleep almost immediately.
Peter and James don't look surprised day after day when they see them waking up together in the morning, and everything is okay - they seem especially happy with the fact that they are not fighting anymore, all the tension is gone- until Wednesday afternoon after quidditch practice, when James asks him to stay behind so they can go back to the castle together.
While they are walking, James ambushes Sirius into the conversation he was trying so hard to avoid. “I just wanna know why you are sneaking around to go sleep with him every night” James asked him. Sirius doesn't know what to say, so he doesn't respond. James continues “Do you even know why you do it?”
The question triggers something in him, because it's not like he tried to make it a secret thing by ‘sneaking around’ but every night Sirius tries to go and sleep in his own bed, and fails miserably the moment he thinks about Remus.
He thinks of something to say, but the only thing that comes uo of his mouth is a pathetic “It's just that, um…” as he tries to connect his thoughts to make a proper sentence he starts mumbling “He is my friend, and it brings me comfort, and he is so soft to be next to, and he smells good, and I don't have any nightmares, and he really is one of my best friends, and sleeping with him is one of the best thing that ever happened to me, and.. oh” .
Oh.
Oh, no.
Shit.
And then it really hits him. The panic invades Sirius' face as he realises he is falling in love with his best friend. That he is probably already in love with him, too deep to try to avoid it.
James starts laughing uncontrollably, “so, because you are in love with him?”
“Why did you make me think about my feelings?” Sirius cries, hiding his face with his hands.
“Mate, it was obvious, you-”
“It was obvious? Why did no one tell me? Remus knows too?” he asks as his panic increases.
“Well, I just told you, and I'm pretty sure that Remus is as oblivious as you were until now, I could go and tell him that you love him and he still wouldn't believe me”
“Don’t say that,” Sirius says firmly, “Don't you even joke about doing it, why would you joke about that?” he is so embarrassed right now that is painful to see, of course James looks like it is the funniest thing he ever saw.
He is in love with Remus, there is nothing he can do about it. And it's probably not so recent as he thought, the feelings had been there for a while, it's just that Sirius was trying very hard to ignore it. Remus was the reason that he realise he was into blokes in the first place, his confidence coming out at first, and then when he realise it was an option to fall in love with a man he started to notice a lot of breathtaking things about Remus that he haven't before; how good he smells, the way his scars shines when it's really sunny, how kind he is to everyone, and how mean he can be close to the full moon, the fact that he wears sweaters even when its warm, all of Remus really.
The moon and the stars are meant to be together, how could Sirius not fall in love with his moon?
When Sirius is finally calm, after James reassures him a million times that he wont tell Remus, they finally go back to the castle.
That night he goes into his bed, planning to not get out of it until the next morning. There is no way he is going to take advantage of the goodness of Remus by going to sleep next to him, no when there are feelings involved. He spends what feels like hours fighting with himself, at the end he loses, it is like some magnetic force is tying them together. Remus is already asleep when Sirius goes to his bed, Sirius is about to leave when he notices a little piece of paper in Remus’ pillow, a note that reads:
“I was really tired, sorry for not waiting for u Padfoot. It's okay if you sleep here tonight.”
And that's all it takes for Sirius to get into Remus' bed. He takes the note in his hand and holds it close to his chest, where his heart is about to explode. Remus was waiting for him to come. Remus wants Sirius to sleep in his bed.
It doesn't matter if it breaks his heart that Remus doesn't feel the same. It doesn't matter if he breaks his own heart lying next to a person who doesn't love him in the same way. He is weak, and if Remus wants him by his side he’ll be there, even if it means taking his own heart out of his body to stop aching.
Remus is completely asleep, Sirius can tell, but his arms go looking for Sirius, and pulls him closer, giving him no choice but to lay his head in Remus chest, he can hear the boy heart beating, is relaxing, and it helps Sirius to calm down his own, which is trying to run away from Sirius’ inside.
Remus' arms hold him close, so close that they almost become one person. It feels home, real home. They fall asleep with their hearts beating like one.
----------
When the weekend arrives Sirius and Remus have spent a whole week sleeping in the same bed, except last night, because it was the full moon and all four of them were up all night running in the woods.
After breakfast James and Peter go to check on Remus at the infirmary, and then leave to go to Hogsmeade. In the aftermath of the failed prank, Sirius and Remus are still no allow to be out on the weekends -two months of detention, no Hogsmeade included stated McGonagall - Remus would be okay with it if it wouldn't mean spending all Saturday alone with Sirius, it is hard enough to try to control his feelings when they only sleep together, and lately Sirius is being so sweet that he can't even fight with him, which makes contain himself extremely hard . So this is going to be a rough day.
Even though it wasn't a bad moon, when Madam Pompfrey lets him go from the infirmary, it is well past lunch. And of course, even when he tries to fight it, the first thing in his mind is going back to his room and napping all day next to Sirius.
When Remus gets there, he finds Sirius laying in his bed, with his sweater on - his favourite one, also one that Sirius put on mistake a few days ago and never returned to Remus- with the eyes closed and moving his arms and humming to the beat of Starman by David Bowie. Not only is Sirius wearing Remus clothes, but also is laying in his bed, looking incredibly hot while doing it. This is heaven and hell at the same time. What did Remus do to deserve something so beautiful but not to be able to call it his own?
Remus stands there watching Sirius, he doesn't know how much time has passed when Sirius opens his eyes and sees him standing there.
“Sorry, it's out of habit already, I can go to my bed if you prefer” Sirius says in a tone like he has just been discovered doing something bad. “And I can give you back your sweater, it just that it's really comfortable and smells like you, and -”
“Relax, I'm used to having you in my bed already, and to all of you stealing my clothes too, James still hasn't returned like half of my tshirts'' he doesn’t say that it looks much better on Sirius anyway, but if he really wishes to give it back to him he can help him take it off, of course he doesn't say any of it at loud. Once Remus is next to Sirius in bed he says “I like the musical choice for today”.
“I know Ziggy Stardust it's one of your favourite albums, and after last night i wanted you to have something you like wanting for you when you get here.”
I already had something -someone- i like wanting for me Remus thinks, but fortunately doesnt leave his mind. Instead he just thanks Sirius.
They are laying in bed together side to side, Remus' right arm and leg are touching Sirius' left side. He is so tired all of the sudden, but can't keep his eyes out of Sirius. For some reason today he feels even more attracted to him than ever, he's been in love with him for so much time that it's a surprise that it could even happen. It feels like something in the air changed, and his brain is telling him that he might have a chance, that it's not forbidden anymore. Remus decides to blame this on the wolf and its primitive instincts, like he does everytime he gets a feeling he can't explain.
“You should get some sleep, you seem awful mate.” Sirius says to Remus, while getting out of the bed.
“Wait,” Remus almost screams, and grabs Sirius' hand to keep him from going -definitely the wolf is getting blame on that- “please stay, I sleep better when you are close.” He is imploring at this point.
Sirius doesn't say a word, instead he holds Remus hand in return. And then Sirius starts tracing his fingers around Remus' scars, drawing little stars. He watches their hands intertwined for forever -time doesn't matter anymore, it isn't a real thing- all Remus cares about is Sirius holding his hand and the comfort that it brings him. He wishes to keep holding on for evermore. Finally, he falls asleep.
When he wakes up the afternoon is almost gone, the sun's still shining in the sky, but probably not for much longer. He is alone in bed, next to him there is a note on the pillow where Sirius was laying his head, it reads:
“Went to get food, keep resting. Try to not miss me much, Padfoot”.
Remus isn't surprised by the way Sirius is taking care of him so dearly, it's been like that since they were twelve and Remus told them about his ‘monthly problem’. It's like he is trying to cover any trace of bad things that could've happened the night before, he achieves his mission every time. In Remus' opinion the stars always outshine the moon anyway. Of course the best way Sirius found to take care of Remus is by making sure he stays in bed and bringing him lots of food, ‘enough to feed a wolf’ like he said time ago.
Remus stays in bed, a new album is playing, he doesnt recognize the song, so it probably is one of the albums Andromeda sent to Sirius a few days ago. It has a quiet and relaxing melody, with no lyrics to sing to. He closes his eyes and lets the music invade him.
Sirius is back no much longer, when he enters the room he ask Remus if he is awake, when Remus open his eyes, Sirius starts talking “I'm glad you are up, this chocolate cake it's so much better when it's still warm, and the elves in the kitchen just took it out of the oven, so it's perfect.”
Remus thanks him and Sirius tells him the rest of the things that he brought to eat and drink. Quickly they set up a picnic in the bed, sitting side by side with all the food in front of them, Remus doesn't realise how hungry he is until he starts eating. Sirius was right, the cake is to die for while it is warm, one of the best things he ever ate. Sirius confesses that he had to beg the elves to do it, because they only make it for Dumbledore for his birthday, but he insisted that Remus deserved it until they agreed.
When they finish eating, Sirius disappears all the plates and the bed is clean instantly. They lay facing each other. They don't speak for a while, Remus just stares at Sirius, studying him. His face looks soft, and even though they spend all day sleeping he has dark marks below his eyes. Sirius grabs his hand again, and keeps his eyes locked at their intertwined fingers. Suddenly Sirius looks up, with a strange look on his face. Remus just keeps observing him until Sirius breaks the silence “Moony,” he pauses and says “you are my best friend.”
I love you, Remus thinks. But he doesn't say it out loud. But for once he lets go of his fears and his ghosts,"I know" he says, “Sirius, tell me a story” so Sirius starts talking.
They are so close that they are breathing the same air, and their lips are touching, the only thing Remus can think of is how soft they are. Remus' doesn't pay attention to a single word that the boy says. All he can do is think of Sirius, the way his hair is falling on the side of his face, how much he wants to trace his jaw to see if it is as sharp as it seems, how well their hands fit together.
Remus wants to break the distance between them, but he doesn't. Sirius is telling something, that Remus just can't hear a word of, but is begging Sirius to keep talking, so their lips can still touch.
I really love you, he thinks again. His mind won't give him a second of peace.
Maybe Sirius is asking him a question, because he stops talking and looks at Remus like he is expecting an answer.
I love you, he wants to say.
“I love you” he says outloud.
Sirius lips part, surprised by the confession. He moves a few centimetres away and Remus can feel him analysing his face, he tries to look away, but in that moment he can see Sirius gaze light up. And then he realises that the feelings are mutual, they are both in love with his best friend.
Before they can do or say anything James walks into the room screaming “Padfoot, Moony. Get ready, we are having a party tonight.”
They immediately jump out of bed, in opposite directions. Remus watches his only chance to kiss his best friend go away, probably along with the friendship. He feels his heart break a little.
Church bells ring, carry me home
Rice on the ground looks like snow
Call my bluff, call you "babe"
Have my back, yeah, everyday
Feels like home, stay in bed
The whole weekend
It's nice to have a friend
“So, the plan is to throw a party, so we can skip said party and go and prank Slytherin?” Remus asks once James finishes explaining the idea they just had.
James shakes his head disapprovingly and starts talking again “No, no, no. The plan is that you and Sirius have the time of your life at the party, while Peter and I go do the prank.” Remus is starting to complain when James interrupts him “Think about it, it is perfect. McGonagall thinks that this was your idea, but if you have alibis then she can't accuse you.”
Then Peter -who is very excited because this was all his idea- says “And she won't be able to accuse us either, because we will be here at the start of the party and everybody will see us, and we will be back on time for her to come and shut down the party”.
It's a great plan, even when they will probably end up getting detention, but it will be for the party, and not the prank, so it is definitely worth it. Not every plan can be perfect, and it will be fun. Sirius immediately agrees “Great plan, mate”, and friendly pats Peter on the shoulder.
James and Peter already got all the booze in Hogsmeade earlier in the day, so that part is covered. And Lily, Mary, and Marlene are in charge of organising the rest of the party -the parties always turn up better when the girls are the one in charge- In the meantime, they have the rest of the day to finish the last details for the prank.
Remus has to teach James and Peter how to do the charm he invented, they can only hope it won't turn into chaos again . It's quite difficult, not only do they have to transport various objects to a random location with hard access -which is fundamental- but also do it with many objects at the same time, and that are only in a specific distance range. So, nothing easy to do.
Luckily Sirius doesn't have to do anything, because he can't stop thinking about what almost happened moments ago. They were in bed, and he doesn't know how but they were so close that they were practically talking into each other's mouths. The first time it happened Sirius brain almost exploited, the second he made the decision to kiss Remus if it happened again, when it keep happening he was begging to be brave enough to do something -bad timing to be a Gryffindor- Sirius doesnt know a word he said, but it was so important that he keep talking so their lips can keep touching. The only proper thought his mind could make was 'kiss me, please kiss me'. He beg Remus to do something, though the words never leave his mind.
When Remus spoke he was a second from kissing him. He is pretty sure that Remus told him that he loves him. Sirius panicked for a second, and then James showed up. Which was probably for the better, because otherwise they would have kissed, and that, well he doesn't know how to feel about that.
After dinner, they finally managed to do the charm -all it took was several hours, and all the forgotten objects that were in the common room to be gone for forever- so they went to the dormitories to get ready for the party. Sirius managed to avoid Remus, they can speak about what happened later, when they are drunk enough to be brave about feelings.
----------
The plan was going great. When the party started the four of them called a lot of attention to themselves, organising a game where you tell a truth or drink a shot, of course Remus and Sirius choose the shot every time, by the end of it they both were pretty drunk. James and Peter had to stay sober, so instead they chose truth: which resulted in James confessing that Remus was his bi awakening, and also a little crush he had on Regulus a while ago. Peter confessed that almost all food tested better when he was being a rat -a lot of people were confused thinking what kind of metaphor was that.
During the game, Sirius was by his side the whole time, and he even held his hand for a while -when they drank enough to do it-, maybe they still had a chance, Remus thought.
When everyone was distracted enough -dancing, snogging someone, or way too drunk to notice it- James and Peter snuck out in James' invisibility cloak and left.
Remus is resting against the wall drinking a mixture of butterbeer and firewhiskey, doing his favourite activity during parties: watching people. Lily and Mary are smoking -Merlin knows what- with a Hufflepuff girl, Dorcas and Marlene are snogging on a couch, Regulus, Barty and Evan are playing beer pong against Emmeline -who is winning-, Pandora is talking very light-heartedly with a Ravenclaw girl. And then he notices Sirius, he is dancing in the middle of the room, he is wearing his leather jacket and underneath that a silk blouse, unbutton almost all the way down.
Sirius is moving smoothly with the music, looking very hot. Remus also notices that he isn't the only one looking at Sirius like that, there is a considerable amount of people drooling over him. This makes Remus act in an irrational way, the next thing he knows is that the rest of his drink is going down his throat and his cup is empty, and then he is next to Sirius with his hand sliding into his hip, dancing with him as Good Old-Fashioned Lover boy starts playing.
“Hi” Sirius greets him with a smile on his face. As he speaks, Sirius places his arms around Remus' neck, moving him closer to his body. He can tell that Sirius is drunk, but also is he, so it's not like he is taking advantage of it. They are just letting their drunk self take care of what their sober ones can't.
“Hi” Remus says, smiling back. With his free hand he brushes a piece of Sirius's hair behind his ear, and gets even closer to say “I really like your outfit”.
Sirius blushed for a second. He speaks into Remus' ear “thanks,” and then he pressed his lips for a second in Remus' neck, and continued saying “I choose it for you”.
The tension between them is unbearable, but they don't do anything about it. Instead they spend a couple minutes dancing, singing, getting closer each second, teasing each other with flirting comments and almost indecent touch.
Remus doesn't care a bit about all the people around them, for what he knows they all disappear and the only ones left in the world are him and Sirius. They just keep dancing, getting closer, until Sirius grabs Remus hand and leads him to a corner of the room, away from the curious eyes, who were there all along.
They sit by a window, and Sirius lites a cigarette to share, and when he passes it to Remus their hands touch for a second and electricity comes out of them. Remus takes the cigarette and places it in his mouth, in that moment Sirius grabs his hand again, now meaning to do it.
They sit like that for a while. Passing the cigarette to each other. The place where they are sitting is small, they are so close that their shoulders are brushing.
They avoid talking, because it will mean that they have to turn their heads to actually listen, and being that close could be very dangerous. Also all Remus can think about is the conversation that never happened in the bed earlier, and he can't talk about that. Remus loses the battle with his mind, and finally looks at Sirius. He is so damn beautiful, the way a mixture of sweat and the moon light are making him shine. This is the only reason a moon was created, and the only moment Remus is grateful for it. Sirius looks like a real star.
Sirius lips part, after a second he pleads “Moony”.
“Please don't Moony me when I'm working the courage to kiss you” Remus blurted, as he disappeared the distance between them, finally kissing him.
This is what it feels like to be in heaven, Remus thinks when his lips collide with Sirius’. The universe has changed forever, and now the stars and the moon shine brighter than before. That's how magical this kiss is. Sirius tastes like cigarettes and something sweet, probably whatever he was drinking before. It's the most perfect thing that ever happened to him, it's intoxicating. All the pining and desperately waiting was worth it. As they melt together he wishes to be like that, in this kiss forever.
Before they can even part their mouths needing to breathe, a violent noise calls Remus attention and jumps back. James and Peter are running into the common room. James screams “She is behind us, hide now!”. And the party turns into madness, everyone is running, disappearing all the booze and evidence of the party they had going on. Sirius and Remus laugh, but they don't move, they stay still holding hands and stealing short kisses when they can. There is no point in doing anything else, what is a detention if they can be together right now? McGonagald won't take this moment away from them.
At the end of the night they all got detention, for the party and for the prank -which of course was successfully completed before Mcgonagall found James and Peter- Nothing went according to the plan at the end, but after all Remus is extremely happy with how things turn out, he thinks kissing his boyfriend cheek, as they go to sleep -in the same bed of course.