Chapter Text
Dating Kakashi had so far been one of the greatest feelings and whirlwind of emotions you’ve ever experienced in the best possible way. From hesitant flirting to not-so-unintentional glances across the room, to slightly bolder flirting, to finally admitting to each other your undeniable feelings and calling each other romantic partners, it was the most happiness you had felt in a long time. And Kakashi had admitted the same to you.
The beginning stages of the relationship, with feelings of butterflies and flushed cheeks and laughing for no reason, were so fun and carefree. And as time went on, you both slowly opened up to each other, shared the vulnerable feelings you held deep inside, and yearned to understand each other. Wiping tears from late-night talks and holding each other close as you faced whatever pain came with the shinobi life, slowly but surely, you both grew a closeness you never thought possible.
Everything in your relationship was simply…wonderful.
But the feeling that sat in your stomach right now was everything but.
It had never caught your attention before. Blame it on the honeymoon phase of the beginning of your relationship, but everything was fine until now when you decided to go out with Kakashi and all of your friends. It was the usual group of friends, and the outing was nothing special. Just celebrating the end of another week full of rambunctious genins, endless mission desk shifts, and annoying parents.
As for Kakashi, he had just gotten back from a week-long mission, and you were both excited to catch up (You had missed him terribly. You could tell he had missed you terribly too when he showed up at your apartment door as soon as he got back to the village, but he could barely get the words out before enveloping you into a dizzying kiss that left you dazed with happiness).
So, the outing.
You had just arrived to the bar with Kakashi, immediately spotting Shizune and Anko who you waved at excitedly. Kakashi followed behind you with his hand on your back as you walked swiftly to greet them. You didn’t waste time taking a seat next to them to start catching up about the week while Kakashi headed to the bar where Gai and Asuma were waving him down.
The night went its usual course from there. More friends showed up, the place got more crowded, and you drank more while Kakashi kept giving you looks from across the table.
In fact, he had just given you one of those devastatingly charming winks as he sat diagonal from you. No one else seemed to notice while they were too wrapped up in conversation, but who cares if they did anyway? You couldn’t help but smile at him, feeling your cheeks warm even more in combination with the alcohol. You turned back to your conversation with Anko, Shizune, and Kurenai while he turned to Gai who was telling an animated story.
You saw the waitress approaching the table with a smile, and you followed her with your eyes. She stopped right behind Kakashi.
Right behind.
“How are we doing over here, folks?” She practically sang over the loud bar. That’s when her hand snaked over Kakashi’s shoulder as she stood behind him, then stooped down to meet his eyes. Kakashi barely turned, but she smiled more anyway with a few blinks of her eyes. “Need any more drinks?”
You felt yourself involuntarily sit up straighter.
“Another beer, please and thank you!” Gai bellowed, shooting a thumbs up to the waitress who was still too busy looking into Kakashi’s eyes.
“One for me too, please,” Genma slurred with his hand up.
“Can I have another vodka soda, please?” Shizune leaned forward to speak over the loud environment.
Finally, the waitress seemed to come out of her daze, smile fading as she leaned back up. “Two beers and a vodka soda. Anything else?”
Someone was speaking to you, but you couldn’t stop staring at her hand clasped on Kakashi’s shoulder. You were fixated on it, not really caring about what was happening around you.
Finally, Anko nudged you and you turned abruptly to her. “You want another drink?
You blinked and then shook your head. “Uh, n-no.”
“We’re good here, thanks!”
The waitress shot a small smile at Anko before leaning back down to Kakashi, her hand moving down to rest on his upper arm. “Anything for you, sir?”
Everything in your stomach started to churn.
Kakashi replied with a “no thanks” before she gave him another long, drawn-out smile and then retreated back to the bar.
You just stared down at the table in front of you, trying to get a grip on what just happened.
What just happened.
What just happened?
It was the churning of your stomach. The hot, boiling, violent something bubbling in your gut. It was the prickling heat on your neck, not from Kakashi’s wink or the alcohol. It threatened to bubble up out of you, pounding and uncontrollable but you clenched your jaw and fisted your pants in your hand below the table.
You had never felt anything like this before.
Anko nudged you again, and you slowly turned your head like on autopilot. She furrowed her brows at you and leaned in close to your face, speaking low. “Hey, are you okay?”
You were about to just say yes, but deciding to confide in your friend, you leaned in close and spoke quietly. “Did..did that waitress seem…weird to you?”
Anko tilted her head. “Weird how?”
You felt slightly embarrassed as you continued. “I don’t know…like…she just put her hand on Kakashi and got kind of…close?”
Anko lifted an eyebrow and then smirked. “Ahhh. That kind of weird.”
“Okay, what’s that supposed to mean?” You sighed, defeated. Was there something you weren’t getting?
“The kind of weird that makes you jealous,” Anko whispered in an amused sing-song tone, poking your shoulder with a chuckle
Jealous?
You scoffed, ignoring the way the boiling, hot something in your stomach could easily be the feeling. “Oh please, Anko.”
“‘Oh please, Anko’,” Anko immediately mocked you which made you frown and squint your eyes at her. “It’s okay, babe. It happens to everyone.”
“I’m not…jealous,” you lowered your voice at the last part, not wanting any nosy ninja at the table to eavesdrop. “But it was just kind of weird how she was—“
“Y/N, who has been making googly eyes at you all night?” Anko interrupted you with a chastising look, raising her eyebrows when you didn’t answer right away.
So people did see Kakashi winking at you. But you rolled your eyes anyway and grabbed your drink. “Okay, okay. I see your point.”
“By the way, if you didn’t get it, Kakashi has been. At you. Not the waitress,” Anko gave you another amused look.
“Yeah, yeah,” you smiled and continued on with other conversation.
But even so, part of that unpleasant feeling remained ever so slightly settled in your core, especially when the waitress couldn’t keep her eyes off of your table while she was at the bar.
You tried to ignore it, but it was eating at you, sort of…tormenting you even when you tried to ignore it. Kakashi then caught your eyes and gave you an unspoken look, eyebrows drawn together in concern as if to say “You okay?”. You just smiled at him as reassuringly as you could.
Anko’s word circulated in your mind. Jealous. Jealous. Jealous. You had never been jealous before. You weren’t even the jealous type. Maybe about little things here and there…someone’s pretty hair, someone’s ability to pull off certain colors in their wardrobe, maybe Anko’s ability to hold liquor way better than you ever could.
And you had certainly never been worried about other men or women with Kakashi. Ever. The feeling had never even come up. You had never even noticed anything before now. And right now…
If you were jealous, you hated it.
But then Anko nudged you again, breaking you out of your thoughts. “Y/NNNN, I know you’re thinking about it again. It’s nothing to be worried about!”
She was right. You needed to just let it go
But something caught your eye which Anko noticed, too. She followed your gaze to the waitress who was back with the drinks.
Balancing a tray, she began to set down the drinks. A beer for Gai, a beer for Genma, another vodka soda for Shizune. And then another beer sat on the tray
She took it, went to stand behind Kakashi once more, and set the beer in front of him.
“Oh, I didn’t—“ Kakashi started to say.
But she cut him off with her hand on his shoulder again and the way she leaned down, down, down with a smile pressed against his ear
“This one’s on the bar,” she whispered, but to you, she might as well have screamed it in your face.
And as if the waitress leaning back up with a pleased look had activated a lever, you sprang to your feet. The table fell silent.
Normally, you would have been acutely aware of everyone’s eyes on you. You didn’t take to being the center of attention except when you taught your students every day, but that was different. And normally, you would have never felt whatever the hell was building, building, building in your core as you replayed the waitress whispering in Kakashi’s ear.
But nothing about tonight had felt normal.
You reached across the table, took the beer in your hands, and tipped it back, chugging the entire thing with no hesitation. There was a bit that had overflowed as you did, a small dribble down your cheek and then your neck, but you continued to chug it down.
As the last drop went down your throat, you set the glass down on the table with a bit of force.
You looked at the slack-jawed waitress in the eye and spoke loudly enough for her to hear. “Thanks.”
Somehow, the waitress’s jaw dropped even more before a sneer shaped her lips. Then, she turned around with a huff and the roll of her eyes and left the table.
The entire table sat in silence, all of their eyes on you.
You couldn’t do anything but stand frozen in place, looking around everywhere except your friends. You were still processing what happened yourself, wondering if some spirit had taken over your body for a second.
But you had to look eventually. First, you looked at Gai whose eyes were wide with surprise and…was he impressed? Then, your eyes found Asuma next to him who wore the biggest amused smile you had ever seen on him. Just as you had looked at Genma, his senbon fell out of his open mouth and onto the table. You could feel Anko and Shizune looking up as they sat on either side of you.
And then, you looked at Kakashi. He was looking up at you, eyes widened slightly with so many things you couldn’t quite read.
Then, breaking the very long and uncomfortable silence, Genma started clapping.
“Whooo hooo!” Genma slurred loudly, clapping his hands and looking around the table. “Fuck yeah, let’s get this party started!”
Over his clapping, you cleared your throat. “I’m…I’m gonna go get some air.”
You beelined away from the table, pushing through the bar crowd without regard. When you finally stepped outside, you were breathing heavily and your heart was beating in your ears.
You were crazy. You had to be absolutely crazy because what you just did was absolutely crazy and so unlike you and what the hell were you thinking and Kakashi was probably—
The thought of Kakashi immediately flashed the image of the waitress in your mind again, and that hot, boiling, violent feeling in your gut almost took you to your knees. Your skin was on fire and damp with sweat, the beating of your heart in your ears got louder, the world around you was spinning upside-down.
You were jealous.
Just as you heard a familiar voice behind you call your name, you slapped a hand to your mouth. That violent feeling in your gut had finally taken over, bringing everything including the jealousy up to the surface.
The minute Kakashi placed his hand on your shoulder, you vomited the beer you just chugged all over the street.