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Rivals

Summary:

The Noise and Peppino are rivals. They find themselves in unexpected and expected places, they fight, someone wins, someone loses.

So what happens when someone tries to take The Noise’s rival away, claiming that Peppino is their rival?

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

The Noise has dealt with a lot of injustices in his life. Pizza existing, a fat balding italian man being physically capable of beating him in a fight, his girlfriend…

But never, and he means NEVER, has he had a more dastardly grievance staring him down.

The Noise had a fairly normal day. He went to work, finished up a new episode of ‘Loud Sound’, avoided Noisette like the plague, and skateboarded down to Peppino’s Pizza to go harass his one true rival, Peppino.

The Noise was prepared for anything. Prepared to do anything to pick a fight. So imagine his surprise when he showed up and the place was already a wreck.

“Heh. Not having such a good day here, ay Italian Man?” He snickered out. Nothing but silence answered him. This was weird, normally Peppino would already come running with a broom and steam out his ears to match.

The Noise scowled, before begrudgingly going to root around to see if the commotion would bring Peppino out. As he made his way to the front counter, he knocked over a napkin dispenser and noticed a piece of paper go fluttering with it.

After noticing it had writing on it, The Noise snatched it off the ground and began to read it. The contents of said paper led to The Noise’s foul mood.

Long story short, Pizzahead had been spying on Peppino, he was butthurt about something, his minions are traitors yada yada. Boring. But past all that…

Pizzahead had kidnapped Peppino… “to get revenge on mY RIVAL!?” Noise practically frothed at the mouth in pure rage. “IS THIS SOME KIND OF JOKE!? PEPPINO IS MY RIVAL!”

Noise was outraged, to say the least. He furiously read over the letter a second time to mark the location down, before kicking his skateboard out the door and speeding off at Mach 4, growling angrily the whole way.
——————————————————————
Time skip lol
——————————————————————
Peppino was having a absolute, unequivocally shitty day.

First was the lack of customers. Even after Peppino had destroyed that godforsaken tower, not a lot of people wanted to come by where a supervillain used to reside.

Second was Gustavo having to leave early to take care of Brick, since Brick had decided today was a good day to break into Gus’s pantry and eat several pounds of chocolate. Peppino normally wouldn’t mind Gus leaving, but he had felt lonely today and missed his company as soon as it had left.

Third was this motherfucking supervillain making his appearance in his store almost as soon as Gus left.

Peppino couldn’t remember much of the resulting fight, his rage at Pizzahead’s appearance dampened by his instinctual fear of wrecking his own shop with his power, which ultimately lead to Pizzahead getting behind him and-

Well. No use dwelling on it now, especially since he is now tied to a goddamn chair in the rubble of the stupid Pizza Tower he destroyed.

‘I hate my life’ Peppino internally groaned, as he watched Pizzahead dance around him, giggling like a nearly 7 ft tall toddler.

“Well well well!~ If it isn’t everyone’s favorite little italian, Peppino Spaghetti!” Pizzahead practically spit out his name, as if it were disgusting. “You should know exactly why I brought you here, hmm~?”

Peppino was so tired. “Yes. Yes-a Pizzahead. I know why-a you brought me here. Can you get to-a the point of this already?”

Pizzahead giggled again, before leaning way to close to Peppino, to the point where Peppino had to turn his head away to make room for this annoyance.

“I brought you here for my revenge, Pep.” Pizzahead cooed. “I’m gonna rip you limb from limb, and string you up on this rubble for eeevvveryyyone to see! It’ll be so much fun!” Pizzahead leaned back up and danced around a bit, before striking one of his signature poses.

Peppino had been fighting it the whole time, but he had begun to shake violently again. When he had fought Pizzahead initially he had been afraid, sure. But he had been able to move then. Dodge then. He couldn’t move now. He couldn’t get away this time.

“Well, I think we better stop messing around now, baldy. I’ve been waiting far too long to get revenge on you, my greatest rival. Are you ready~?” Pizzahead grinned down at him.

Peppino didn’t even know what to say.
——————————————————————
That’s when The Noise finally rocketed in.

“YOU MOTHERFUC-“

That’s all Peppino heard from Noise before he rammed into Pizzahead with his skateboard at full force. He winced in unwilling sympathy at the sheer impact.

Pizzahead found himself embedded in the earth with a skateboard laid sideways across his chest, keeping his arms pinned while a enraged gremlin stood atop it screaming obscenities at him for the “…SHEER AUDACITY!!! HOW FUCKING DARE YOU!?”

“W-what’d I do??? I thought you hated Peppino! Why are you saving him-“
Pizzahead stuttered out, before he was grabbed by his bowtie and pulled up at a uncomfortable angle so Noise could shriek in his face:

“THAT FATTY IS MY RIVAL! MINE!!! YOU CAN’T HAVE HIM AS YOUR RIVAL. GO GET YOUR OWN YOU POMPOUS COCKALORUM!”

Pizzahead stared at him in sheer confusion for all of 3 seconds before Noise head-butted him and he was out like a light.

Peppino… still didn’t even know what to say. He stared in disbelief as Noise hopped off Pizzahead and ripped his skateboard from the ground, spitting on him as he did so. Noise suddenly turned his full focus glare onto Peppino, who startled at the intensity of it.

“YOU.” Noise seethed.

“M-me???” Peppino trembled.

Noise grumpily stormed up to Peppino, who was still very heavy and tied to a chair, and proceeded to lift Peppino and his chair onto his skateboard and began to push him back downhill to his restaurant.

“U-uhm??? Wouldn’t it be-a easier if you-a just untied me?? Peppino stuttered out, craning his neck to look at The Noise, who still looked very, very pissed.

“Shut the fuck up Italian Man. I’m not gonna untie you. You and me are rivals, goddammit. YOU. AND ME. NOBODY ELSE. How the actual FUCK did this happen?” The Noise hissed.

Peppino was flabbergasted. “He-a got the drop on me because I was-a trying to not wreck my own restaurant in the fight. If it makes you feel any better, I still-a think you’re a better rival than-a that freak.”

The Noise brightened a little at that, as the two fell into silence. After a while, they finally made it back to Peppino’s Pizza, where The Noise immediately dumped his skateboard which resulted in a still tied up Peppino to fall sideways onto his own floor tied to a chair.

“NOISE!? WHAT-A THE FUCK??” Peppino screeched out in pain and rage.

“Good luck Italian Man!! I hope you actually get customers today, otherwise you’ll have to wait quite awhile~!” Noise maniacally laughed as he sprinted away, now fully back in character since he got his rival back.

Peppino wanted to scream at The Noise, but honestly? This was a lot better than having his guts strung along the remains of a wall, so he’ll put up with Noise. Just this once.

Notes:

The Noise is autistic and I love him. I’ve seen a lot of HC’s that The Noise would not help Peppino if he was in trouble, but honestly? If someone dared to call him their rival instead of The Noise himself, it’s my own personal HC that it would set him 0-100 like… immediately lmao.

Hope ya’ll enjoyed! Let me know if I should write more since I’m hyperfixating anyways.