Chapter Text
When Namjoon found out he was going to be a father, the omega swore he’d never been happier.
Getting married to the love of his life would always come a close second to the day he first got to hold his child in his arms; a bright pair of doe-like eyes claiming his heart in an instant as another name carved itself in place.
Smiling as he thinks back on the memory, Namjoon remembers how certain he was that there was no other feeling in the world that could quite ever match the euphoria he felt once he’d become a mother.
Nor could he fathom the way his life could have new meaning the moment he held his daughter in his arms for the first time.
But life was tricky that way, Namjoon realized.
It was always full of surprises, always keeping you on your toes as days slowly morphed into years.
But of course, peace could only ever last for so long in one's lifetime.
Only Namjoon had no idea his own was about to come to an end.
And unfortunately, this was something he’d find out the hard way.
No matter how hard he ran to avoid it.
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Namjoon had known motherhood would be hard.
But goodness, he never thought it'd be so damn hard.
Of course, Namjoon knew being a mother came with a lot of ups and downs. He knew once you had a pup of your own, life wasn't about what you gave up but what you gained going forward...
But as Namjoon stood in the middle of his room as he stared at his reflection, he was beginning to doubt what he’d gained since giving birth a few months ago.
Or well….what he'd gained physically, that is.
Frown growing deeper as the sound of his husband's performance emanated from the large screen blaring behind him, Namjoon felt his chest start to burn as his fingers grazed lightly over the deep lines now etched into his skin.
“Mmmh…” whimpering as he traced the deep brown lines gently, Namjoon eyed the unfamiliar markings on his body closely; his eyes never leaving his frame as he took in the way his body had forever been changed.
Furrow in his brows growing deeper, Namjoon sighed as he turned to face himself in the reflective glass, his tall figure staring back at him as he took in the way his legs stood thicker and his chest hung heavier than before
He can't remember how long he’s done this….standing in front of the mirror analyzing each and every new blemish or change in his skin.
But by the time the music behind him comes to an end, Namjoon is sure it'd been going on for a while now.
Too long actually.
Sighing as he stood there, his eyes starting to burn as he eyed the way his stomach swelled in places it never had before, Namjoon scoffed as he found it curious how none of the countless books they threw at you during pregnancy get you ready for….for….
“This fucking bullshit,” he cursed, his lips pulling into a deep frown as he groaned out loud into the empty room; the omega shaking his head as he ripped his gaze away from the intricate glass mirror leaning against his wall.
Turning on his heel as he stomped his way out of the room, Namjoon dove into the hall and pulled the loose robe hanging on his shoulders tighter around his frame; the cloth hugging him like a second skin as he pulled the drawstrings as tight as they could go.
But of course, it hadn't always been like this. No, not really actually.
Reaching the end of the hall as he stopped to catch his breath, Namjoon stood on the edge of the threshold as he eyed his kitchen closely. Eyes landing on the empty and bare countertops, Namjoon felt his mind slip as he thought back to when Jungha had first been born; those first couple of weeks nothing but endless days of bliss as he’d beamed from every pore he’d ever had.
It had all been such a blur….his honeymoon, the morning sickness a few weeks later… the positive test that had shaken almost violently in his hand. It was a miracle Namjoon had kept his wits about him through it all, more so jungkook who had an entire career sitting on his shoulders when namjoon had finally gotten the courage to let the singer know.
But even after everything, Namjoon stood in awe of himself; his mind racing as he thought back to the countless days he spent running around Seoul looking for every parenting book known to mankind or the hours he spent hunched over countless articles on first-time omega mothers.
And truthfully, Namjoon would never know how he did it, nor was he in the mood to try it all over again any time soon.
Shaking his head as he took a small step forward, Namjoon sighed as he headed into his kitchen; the smooth white tiles sparkling brightly beneath his feet as he moved towards the counter and the mugs stacked neatly nearby.
Reaching for his favorite mug as he seemed to move by memory alone, Namjoon glanced up at the cabinets and looked for the treat he currently had hidden away. Spotting a single pack of hot cocoa stuffed near the back of the cabinet, the omega thought it perfect for days just like these as he reached upward and quickly plucked the packet into his hand.
Humming softly as he ripped the packet open, Namjoon took a pause as he let himself enjoy the strong scent emanating from the bag; the scent of dark chocolate washing over him making Namjoon shiver as it reminded him of Jungkook's own.
Eyes fluttering shut as he took a deep breath, Namjoon shook as he suddenly tasted Jungkook's scent on his tongue; the sudden wave of mocha and mint flooding his senses startling him enough to jump where he stood as the omega tried to blink through his sudden haze.
“Jesus, Namjoon…get a grip,” he groaned once he finally managed to function again, the familiar purr of his Keurig machine making him relax as he switched the coffee machine on and set to work getting his small drink ready. Clearing his throat as he returned his attention to the task at hand, Namjoon worked silently as tried to keep himself from getting so easily distracted.
But of course, it wasn't long before Namjoons mind began to wander again.
Only this time, the omega's thoughts weren't looking so pleasant.
Not by a long shot really.
Sighing as he moved to brush his hair out of his eyes, Namjoon shifted awkwardly on his feet as he waited for his mug to quickly fill up; the steam from his coffee machine keeping him warm as he crossed his arms tightly around his frames.
Standing there shivering in place, Namjoon frowned as his thoughts drifted back to the beginning of his and Jungkook's relationship. They'd met so young, had fallen in love quicker than a flickering flame and the rest had all been a whirlwind namjoon would always be grateful for.
But being a mother….having a pup of his own….well, Namjoon had found it extremely difficult.
Or well,…on his body, that is.
You see, from the start, Namjoon's pregnancy hadn’t been easy. Far from it actually.
Stuck with swollen feet, lower back pain, and morning sickness galore, Namjoon had spent months of hell dealing with what would drive most people insane. But through it all Namjoon had persevered, his belly growing bigger and bigger every day as he’d swelled with pride whenever his mate cooed or preened when his gaze landed on him.
And after jungha had been born, namjoon had been the happiest he’d ever been; his days full of vibrant joy and small high-pitched laughter as his pup grew bigger and bigger each day. But of course, with this new love and joy in his life, Namjoon was quick to notice the changes to himself he’d never expected to face.
Nor could he have anticipated the chaos these changes could one day bring.
From taut muscles to soft supple skin, Namjoon's body had changed in a way he had never expected. Where once he had been lean and sculpted to perfection, namjoon was now plump and marked with golden brown marks where his skin had stretched and expanded to accommodate for life.
And in those few first months after Jungha had been born, namjoon had sat with the confidence the weight would slide right off once he got moving again; his life back to what it was before with a snap of his fingers and a handful of wishful thinking.
Only Namjoons body never changed the same way back again or not fully anyway….Not really.
And this time, the omega wasn't the only one paying the price because of it.
It was then namjoon found out changes sometimes bring about unwanted consequences….
No matter how much you try to avoid them in the first place.
You see….It’d been three months since the last time Jungkook had touched him.
And Namjoon knew the alpha wasn't entirely to blame.
Of course, the first few months after Jungha had been born were understandable. His body had been healing, his omega content to wait as namjoon had slowly waited for his body to go back to normal as Jungkook had dotted and tended to his every want and need.
It was only normal for the mates to not be intimate. Namjoon knew Jungkook was a kind and understanding alpha; a mate who would wait for him hand and foot if Namjoon would only wish for it.
So as the days turned to weeks and the weeks turned to months, Namjoon knew there was nothing to worry about; knew his life was complete and full of what he always yearned for and needed.
Only….life didn't seem to stay as blissful as it first had been.
Much to Namjoon’s growing dismay.
Feeling his brows furrow like before, Namjoon thought back to the day the first pang of doubt had first dug into his mind; the omega having made up his mind to visit jungkook after his comeback performance in order to congratulate him on a job well done. He’d been ecstatic that day; his smile bright and wide as he’d almost ran to jungkooks building to let him know about Junha having said her first word.
Chest rising and falling as he’d turned into the building where Jungkook had held his broadcast, Namjoon had dived into the lobby and searched for his mate excitedly. Thoughts occupied with his plans to have dinner with his mateNamjoon had smiled at the idea of celebrating the alpha’s well-deserved praise and hard work.
Or well…that was until Namjoon rounded a corner and stopped in his tracks at the sight that was suddenly before him; his mate rosy-cheeked and grinning as he stood in the middle of the prettiest group of female omegas Namjoon had ever seen.
And for the first time, that's when Namjoon felt it; that sinking dread pulling on his heartstrings as he felt it burn and dig deeper than before.
Mouth going dry as he felt his brows furrow, Namjoon eyed the group curiously as he grew near; his thoughts a mess as he wondered what his mate could be doing in the company of such beautiful and blushing women. Giving the dancers the benefit of the doubt, Namjoon pushed his assumptions aside as he willed himself to control his scent; his lips pulling into a thin line as he felt his excitement from before quickly die and quickly fade away.
Only things get much worse when namjoon gets close enough to hear what the omegas are saying and only then does namjoon feel his steps falter and his breath hitch dangerously.
“Jungkook oppa, you were so good on stage today, you’re amazing!”
“Yah oppa, we could barely keep up-”
“And the crowd was crazy! They couldn't get enough of you!”
“Why are all the talented alpha always taken, oppa”
Standing frozen in place, his skin growing hot as he listened to the group closely, Namjoon waited for Jungkook to say something, anything to stop the dancers from so blatantly drooling over him.
But much to Namjoon’s shocked surprise, the alpha only invites more praise; his smile almost blinding as he turned to bow at the dancers currently crowded around him.
“Please, I'm only as good as you make me. Thank you for today, I'm glad I was able to share it with you lovely ladies,” he stated and namjoon could swear his eyes glowed red right then and there.
Safe to say it doesn't take much to get the omega moving again after that.
Scent of maple suddenly spiking in the air as the omega grew angry, Namjoon felt his skin blush a deep pink as his limbs moved forward without a second thought.
Walking quickly as he cleared his throat loudly, Namjoon smiled sharply as he reached the group in no time; Jungkooks head snapping in his direction as he caught wind of his omegas scent drifting lazily through the air.
Eyes sparkling with recognition as he took in Namjoon’s approaching frame, the alpha smiled wide as he pulled away from the women standing around him; his scent of mocha and mint growing stronger as the group turned to look in the direction the alpha was looking in.
Only the group wasn't too happy at the sight of Namjoon’s approaching figure.
Good thing Namjoon found he couldn't care less.
“Hey, you came!” Jungkook exhaled happily when Namjoon finally came to a stop beside him; his features lighting up as he reached to pull his omega into his arms. Smiling wide as he felt a group of sharp gazes land on him, Namjoon reached up to wind his arms around the alpha’s neck.
“Don't I always?” He cooed and Namjoon knew the others standing around them hated him the minute he said it; the burning sensation of eyes trailing over his skin making Namjoon fidget as he kept his gaze trained on Jungkooks features.
Smirk blooming on his lips as he stared down at his mate, Jungkook chuckled softly as he brought the omega closer to his frame; their scents mixing together as the space diminished between them.
“I like to think so,” he hummed smugly, Namjoons laughter filling the air as he swatted the alpha playfully as he pulled slightly out of the alpha’s embrace.
Smile still sitting on his lips, namjoon turned to face the group of omega’s still huddled around them; the small petite frames of each dancer making namjoon just the tiny bit self-conscious as he felt his omega start to grow uneasy.
Bowing slightly as he pushed away the feeling, Namjoon cleared his throat as he addressed the omegas directly; their gazes following his every move as he shifted awkwardly before them.
“Hello, it's nice to meet you. Thank you for working hard and taking care of my mate,” he managed to huff out as he stood firm by Jungkook's side, the burning sensation growing stronger on his skin as the dancers each took turns bowing before him.
Stepping back as they stood to face him, Namjoon watched as the omegas shared a brief look with each other; their smiles not quite reaching their eyes as they looked him slowly up and down. Feeling his cheeks burn hotter as he stood under their gaze, Namjoon watched as a single dancer stepped forward to bow deeply before them.
Long blonde hair framing her pretty face, Namjoon watched as the omega smiled at him bitterly; the deep blue of her eyes boring into his own as she moved to hide her hands behind the small of her back.
“....Of course, anything for our kookie hyung,” she huffed once she straightened out her frame, her voice deep and lulling as she shamelessly turned to smile in Jungkook's direction.
And maybe if it had been any other circumstance… if it had been said by anyone else, then maybe namjoon would have been ok with the way the dancer had said those words.
But watching the way the omega's eyes almost undressed his mate with her eyes had Namjoon bothered enough to make a scene; his omega dying to bare its teeth as he frowned and moved to take a hesitant step forward.
Unfortunately, Namjoon doesn't get far.
Not with the way Jungkook tightens his grip around him and pulls the omega closer to his side.
“Hey, you ready to go?” he huffed deeply, his expression troubled as he turned namjoon to look his way.
Blinking as he watched the group of omegas turn to huddle closer around the blonde, Namjoon gulped as he slowly nodded his head; the sound of the group's laughter making him wince as he felt the alpha slowly caress the side of his head.
“Yeah… let’s go home, I’ve got something to tell you,” he hummed once he turned to face the alpha but the excitement that had once coursed through him was no longer there; the flames that had once spurned him on now burning low as namjoon felt his limbs move through a fog he couldn't quite dispel.
Only the fog never quite goes away.
And neither does the pang of hurt digging deeper into the omega’s side as he turns to walk away from the still-watching crowd.
Nor does it ease the worry that starts to brew inside him; the way Jungkook had laughed and glowed under the praise of others burned into his mind as namjoon felt his omega whine the more he thought and stressed about it.
But really, Namjoon could have had no way of knowing how this was only the beginning of the hardest time in his life…
Nor could he have known the things life had in store for him in the days to come.
After all, life was full of surprises and Namjoons love life was not exempt from experiencing its own.
No matter how much he tried and failed to fight it.
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