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When he was just a Child, Kaveh was already so proud and inspired by his parents.
The father, Namhu a Rtawahist Darshan and worked at the akademia
The mother, Faranak a renowned architect from Kshahrewar.
No wonder Kaveh became the very talented architect, when he had grown older.
But one memory or rather an Event from his past, will always haunt him.
It's the event that 'ruined' their family.
Young Kaveh always looked up to his father and when an interdarshan Championship occurred, he suggested his father to participate.
"Papa I know you can win. You are the best." Kaveh said joyously with a huge smile on his face. It made both of his parents genuinely smile and chuckle.
He is their little light and they were sure, one day the whole world would see, how bright it was.
Of course, Namhu couldn't deny his precious Sons wish. So he just ruffled his sons hair and made sure to make him proud.
Sadly Namhu couldn't do it.
He almost did it but that wasn't enough for him. The Second place was good but for Kaveh's father not good enough.
In general, his father never showed to have any kind of traits, that would made him so petty and jealous.
Of course, Namhu had been a man to be pretty eager, full of energy and strived to give his best but being so unhappy, to just be second, is odd and new for him.
Maybe it was just because he couldn't win for his son.
Right....
For himself, it didn't care that much, if he won but Namhu would had wanted to win for his Son. He almost did it if, it wouldn't be for the two points that separated him from the first place.
Such a cruelty.
Instead of showing his pettines and annoyance, he wore a fake smile and stand by his old friends.
"Papa, Papa you are best!" Kaveh walked towards him, ready to hug Namhu. Behind him, was his mother looking so proud of Namhu.
Faranak even started to smile as Kaveh and Namhu hugged eachother. Her two favourite men, looking so precious together.
Then Kaveh's father asked, a bit sentimental, if his Son wasn't sad or disappointed that, his old man only got second place.
"No of course I'm not." Kaveh chuckled while shaking his head.
How could Kaveh ever be disappointed by his dad. His dad was his hero.
Then he also wondered. "Papa but are you disappointed that you just got second?"
Namhu paused a bit before answering. "....well of course I'm not disappointed." He wore a fake smile. "It's just good to hear, that you aren't disappointed in your old man."
Kaveh promised that, he could never - ever be disappointed by his father and hugged him so tightly, his father could swore, that Kaveh tried to suffocate him. Faranak also joined his son, to hug her husband with the addition to kiss his cheek.
While being embraced by his family's love, Namhu couldn't still grasp the reason, why he felt so negative and sad about him being just second.
Then back at Home, Kaveh's father would still act a bit weird or at least that's how his expression felt like, according to Kaveh.
Two days later, at the night before, Kaveh's father would take a sudden trip to the desert, for a project, Namhu would take his son to bed.
"Hey Papa you are going to the desert tomorrow right?"
"Yes I am, why are you asking my little light?" His father ruffled Kaveh's already shoulder long blond hair.
Kaveh answered after shoving off his dad's hand away from his head. "Could you maaayyybbbeee bring me a something back, from your trip to the desert. Pretty please."
Kaveh already knew, from past occasions, that his father can't say no to his little light, no matter how 'big' his little light already got.
So of course he gave in. Anything to make his son Smile.
Namhu just didn't receive a smile but a big hug alongside it. He really couldn't thank lesser lord Kusunali enough to gift him such a precious son. Yet Namhu still couldn't put his loss of being just second away. No matter how much he tried to.
As Namhu brought Kaveh back to bed, Kaveh embraced him once more in a hug. It was even tighter than the one before.
"Hey little light, what's the reason for this hug."
"It's a goodbye hug, a good luck hug and a I love you Dad hug." Kaveh murmured while, pressing head against his father's chest.
"Wow so many hugs at once. You really have so much love to share and give. I hope one day, you will find people or hence even just one person, would be enough, to give you all this love back."
It made Kaveh smile.
If only Kaveh had known that this was the last time, he had hugged his father, he wouldn't had dared to let go of him.
The next day when Namhu finally left, Kaveh and Faranak waved him one last time goodbye. Exchanging one last word with him.
The moment his father closed the door was the moment his home or rather said family got destroyed.
Kaveh had known that something on this trip was weird or unusual.
Namhu told him that he would had some free days after the Championship. He told Kaveh, that they could do something together, like going to the baazar.
Kaveh had told himself that it was just his uneasiness from not knowing how his father will do.
"Hey little light, it's okay to be scared or worried alright? I see you are a bit worried about your father right?" Faranak embraced her son in a hug and tried to comfort him. Kaveh hesitated but nodded.
"But sweetie there is no need to be afraid. You know your father is a fighter and blessed by Lord Kusunali by a Dendro Vision, alongside his great Claymore skills. I know this because I always see you two train with his Claymore." Faranak pretty smile makes Kaveh a bit happier but still couldn't let go of that odd feeling.
This had grown even further as they found Namhus claymore in his parents bedroom. It wasn't placed in an obvious place, Faranak would had found right away but it still was weird.
"Kaveh what you doing there?" Faranak approached Kaveh as he made some food in the Kitchen.
Kaveh didn't turn towards his mother and continued with making food. "Oh hey Mama, what I'm doing here...uhm I thought about making Dads favourite food. He caught me to do it." He murmured while he's still focused on cutting the vegetables
"Hey little light this looks pretty good, how about you will surprise your father with one, when he returns."
"Sure."
The next thing they hear was a ring Bell. While Kaveh continued cooking, Faranak opened the door being greeted by one of Namhus friends from the academia.
"Oh hello Behnam, nice to meet you" She waved at him. "What's the occasion? Would you like to come in?"
The saddened Behnam accepted the Invitation and entered their house because what he had do discuss with Kaveh's mother wasn't a pleasant one.
"Well where can we sit, at best somewhere quiet and peace?" Behnam looked around their house seeing Kaveh still being in the kitchen.
"Um sure, we can uh sit in the living room and Kaveh can bring you some tea or snacks if, you want to." Faranak hastily walked around her house.
Behnam denied these offerings and just wanted to start with this uncomfortable topic, he had to announce. Before he could start to talk, appeared Kaveh and asked, what they were talking about.
So Behnam demanded Kaveh to leave and that he should let the adults talk but Kave denied this because he wanted to hear, what was going on. Kaveh knew that this sad expression, didn't mean something good and for sure, had something to do with his father.
Of course he was right. It was the first time, he ever wished he wasn't right.
Kaveh remembered this moment, where thousand arrows hit his heart and broke it in thousand pieces. His dad got into an accident, found dead in the desert.
He felt so empty, not even the shared hug could make him feel something. Their cries and tears made him deafening and this would stay on for a very long time.
The upcoming days, weeks and months felt like a living nightmare for Kaveh. His once so secured home now felt like it's been drowned in tears and sadness.
Some nights Kaveh couldn't sleep at all or some nights, he could sleep but got haunted by the nightmare of his father's death or rather said the moment, he left their house.
Yet in this room and during the night, it was the only moment he ever felt like, he was allowed to grief and to be weak about his father's death.
Kaveh always felt like the moment he leaves his room, he shouldn't show any weaknesses and only happiness.
All for this so make his mother won't have to worry about him. She was the one who suffered the most.
With her Husband's death Faranak lost her muse.
Her inspiration. Her motivation. Kaveh knew she tried to cook, to draw, to work or anything else but there was no inspiration in her, he saw that. Faranak even slowly disconnected herself, from her friends like Bita or Sasani.
Kaveh was basically the only human contact, she had left. So where was the place for him to be sad?
Kaveh had to cook, to clean the house, to take care of his mother, to attend and do school work and to work and earn money.
With Faranak not creating any new designs, she of course couldn't earn any money that was something obvious for Kaveh. He also knew without Money, no food and sooner or later no place to live.
Sometimes, he did work on his mother's unfinished projects, where most of them got even accepted by the clients.
This made Kaveh getting some respect in the Akademiya even before he made the test for enrolling.
Even his mother got to hear, how well the people of Sumeru accepted his drafts and designs.
She reacted to this with mixed feelings.
One time Faranak stood in the doorframe of their working room an watched her son eagerly working.
Of course Kaveh noticed the presence of his mother. It made him feel quite uneasy, especially with the quite muttering Faranak let out.
"My son, my little light, he's so talented. So much better than me. He dares to take away my jobs, such a cruelty." Faranak unwillingly bit her fingers from how stressed she was, while murmuring these words.
Kaveh tensed up with these words. Even if it wasn't the first time he ever heard them, it was like another crack inside his heart.
"No Faranak, what are you talking about, your son is just trying to help you...us...even though, he is the one who brought us in this misery. Right Kaveh is at fault. It is his fault."
These words deafened him.
The pencil Kaveh had in a tight grip, just fell down with an ease and he doesn't seem to care or even recognize it.
His body was numb and expressionless. All it could do, was to hold on from tears flowing down his now paled face.
Kaveh's saving was the tone indicating that the tea, he made, was ready. It was the chance he got to escape the gaze of his very own mother, who blamed him for his father's death.
So he stood up from his chair almost tripping down from it. His head was focused on the ground as he tried to ignore his mother presence.
Kaveh treated her as a ghost, someone that wouldn't be there, when he went out of the working room.
Faranak of course noticed this but didn't try to call it out. She was still trapped in her thoughts and biting her nails and fingers.
Days had passed since then and Kaveh still couldn't heal from his mother's words. Yet he still treated her well and took care of her. Still at night he couldn't stop crying and had problems to fall asleep.
Even when the Archons let him sleep, nightmares haunted him, whatever he dreams of his mother's words "it's your fault" can be heard on repeat.
One night this was especially awful.
Kaveh woke up to his birthday with panicked eyes and tears flowing down them.
Kaveh, it's just another ordinary day, nothing important, not your birthday. There is no reason to celebrate the birth of the mistake, I am.
With heavy steps and lots of effort, he left his room and as feared or rather expected, an empty dining table.
Kaveh had to remember early birthdays, where he ran into the kitchen, being greeted with lots of Balloons, presents and sweets.
Now it was just pure emptiness.
No parents smiling at him, wishing their little light happy birthday and showering with lots of kisses and hugs.
Just thinking about it made kaveh felt numb and felt hard to swallow.
But there was no need for hope, his mother probably won't move out of her bed at all and just forget about her son's birthday.
It would be a surprise, for Kaveh to even hear a 'Happy birthday' from her. A present would be a miracle but when has it been the last time, something like a miracle had happened to him?
So Kaveh just prepared a fruit bowl with the Notice "For you Mama, love you" on it. As for himself he just took an apple and left.
Then there was the time, when Kaveh was able to enroll to the Akademiya.
This made him feel so twisted. It was his dream to study at the Akademiya, they even would give him a sponsor ship because of his already shown talent but what about his mother?
Even after all these years, since his father's passing, she still behaved like a walking corpse, lacking any kind of motivation.
How could he even thought of letting her alone. She was helpless without him.
Even if, how would he supposed to bring this topic up?
How would she react, to him pursuing his dream and leaving her alone?
Kaveh bet, she wouldn't be happy, he heard how jealous she was about his talent.
But Kaveh still thought that, he had to follow his destiny and desire, create buildings with all his heart to give.
It was how his mother used to work with.
He remembered, how Nahmu often had to shake Faranak out of her working flow, so she could eat and drink something.
She worked with such a passion, she was the person Kaveh looked up to.
Now thinking of it, made Kaveh feel sad. He ruined her life, he was at fault for her misery.
Even if he wanted to, these thoughts could never leave his mind.
After Kaveh thought back and forth giving himself a big headache, he decided to join the Akademiya. Now the difficult part, was to explain it to his mother.
Kaveh tried, to make his mother as happy as possible. So he made her favourite food and bought her favourite flowers.
"Thank you Kaveh all of this is pretty great, must have been lot of effort." Faranak spoke monotonous and focused on her food.
These words may seem simple but it was still more than Kaveh ever heard of her. Then Kaveh tried to bring the topic up.
"Hey Mama, you know I've been around a certain age, where I'm allowed to start my studies at the Akademiya and I would gladly use the opportunity." Kaveh looked up shyly, trying to search for his mother's eyes.
All he could see her expression turned shocked but numb at the same time.
"That's...quite nice Kaveh. So you would use the chance to study at the Akademiya huh?" Faranak let out a sarcastic chuckle, like she couldn't believe what she just heard. "You know my...little light, studying there can get quite expansive. How are you supposed to afford this?" Now she actually faced her son, who looked quite unhappy with the words, that came out of his mothers mouth.
Faranak was for sure not happy with that and maybe reacted rather petty.
Kaveh, already thought that, she wouldn't be all to optimistic and supportive but now actually hearing this hurt him a lot.
"Well...they gave me a scholarship. I wouldn't have to pay at all. We...or rather I don't have to worry about the money." Kaveh tried to sound optimistic.
"..Ah I see.. I'm... happy for you Kaveh"
Her words may seem 'nice' but the way she said it, left Kaveh in pain.
Why can't mom be happy for me?
Does she really not want me to be happy?
Does she really hate me?
kavehs thoughts trapped him again, no place to escape them.
Just as he heard, the sound of a moving chair he snapped back to reality.
Before his mother could go back to her bedroom, he convinced her to listen, what he had to say.
"Mom, I know, I wouldn't have much time for you anymore and couldn't take care as much but I thought I give you something that could maybe make you happy." Kaveh reached out to her with an envelope in his Hand. "With the Money I saved up, before they offered me the scholarship, I bought a ticket, for you to take some free time off in Fontaine. I remember how much you would have loved to see this place and its architecture."
Faranak was surprised by that.
Of course Kaveh was right, before Nahmu's death, they always talked about making a trip to Fontaine, seeing the beautiful architecture there.
Now this would actually be possible but that's just because of her son paying for this.
"Well thanks... little light.... just put it down the table, I will think about taking it." Faranak just tilted her head enough to be able to look at Kaveh.
As Faranak just left the dining room and went back to her bedroom, Kaveh was left with the envelope and a rather confused and sad expression. This was something he didn't expected to happen.
Kaveh thought, that he could finally see some ray of hope and happiness inside her but not such a bland answer. With this unpleasant outcome Kaveh just sighed, at this uncomfortable dinner, they had and cleaned up the room and went straight to bed.
The day had come, as Kaveh finally attend the Akademiya, being enrolled at the house of Kshahrewar.
It was the same house, his mother studied in. Her works had been phenomenal and well known.
As Kaveh looked in the Mirror, seeing the Akademical clothes on him, he got quite proud full. He started to study at the Akademiya, that was what he ever wanted.
That was what his parents always wanted for him. To pursue his dreams and come off as the best of it.
Just the thought of this made him a bit sentimental but shrugged it off right away. Kaveh made his way to the Akademiya, since the Welcome ceremony would start soon.
Making his way there somehow filled him with such joy. Maybe it was because he wore the uniform, so everyone could see, that he was a scholar and soon would come out, as the best architect to ever exist.
Arrived at the Akademiya, Kaveh easily made his way to the other students. Even though Kaveh had been trapped in sadness through his childhood, he never lost the ability to make friends easily.
They went together to the welcome ceremony and got excited as they listened to the speech they gave. There where lots of the former graduates, for example the one's from his parents. They of course remembered the face of Kaveh and greeted them.
"Oh my, I can't believe, who is standing in front of me, an all grown up Kaveh." Tizqar approached Kaveh with an amusing tone.
Kaveh lightly smiled at him, as he turned around. Just like the other one's they congratulated him for joining the Academia, telling him how proud they are of him.
Some told him, that his parents must be proud of him, especially his mother, since Faranak was a Kshahrewar herself.
Then some even asked where Faranak was, which tensed Kaveh up.
How could Kaveh tell the people around him, that his very own mother, didn't attended his Sons enrollment ceremony?
It wasn't a 'I forgot today was the day, my son had the enrolment ceremony.' She just didn't came.
Kaveh could only sigh at this, it was no place for him to shed tears. Once more he had to show his bravery, like it didn't hurt him at all.
Sadly he got used to it and he accepted it. This was his eternal punishment for ruining his mother's life. But Kaveh kind of could escape it, every time he went to the Akademiya. It was the time, where he hadn't to endure the lifeless view of his mother.
Of course it still made him feel guilty to leave her through most of the day but he promised her to come of home early.
So any kind of free time he could get was, during his days at the Academia. It even made him feel happy to be around people again. Not to forget to be actually embraced with compliments and words for his works.
Kaveh basically saved all this relieving comments and words for the moment, when he returned home.
Faranak never really asked how school went or even the exams. This wasn't of course anything new for Kaveh.
This actually went on for a very long time, till Kaveh met his mother sitting on the couch, looking at something.
As Kaveh looked closer, he recognised the envelope, with the Ticket to Fontaine inside it.
"Hey Kaveh...this ticket would still work right?" Faranak talked into the air, knowingly that her Son was right in front of her.
"I- uhm don't now." Kaveh wasn't sure about it and scratched his head from confusion."Maybe it should work. When I bought it, I never set a proper date for the trip.... Nevertheless, would this mean, you would like to go there, to Fontaine?"
Faranak shortly answered, that this was her plan. Besides that, she also asked if it was alright for Kaveh, to leave him alone in their house.
"No. No I definitely don't have a problem with it." Kaveh hastily tried to explain."I mean this ticket was there for you to get some free time and to clear your mind."
"Fine. Thank you Kaveh." Faranak nodded once. Then she moved from the Couch to the Kitchen, grabbed some Food and back to the bedroom.
Just another usual view for Kaveh. Nothing new, besides an exchange of words.
It just wondered Kaveh, that his mother would just use the ticket to Fontaine, right now. It seemed all of sudden.
Now after 1 year and 10 months, she finally decided to use it. How weird this was for Kaveh but it was her decision to do so.
Kaveh shrugged this off and just went straight to his room to finish his school work. After all he still had lot to learn for the upcoming exams
The planning for the trip went rather swiftly and Faranak could depart very soon. Kaveh helped her to pack the necessaries and everything, she probably would like, to have with her.
Then the day came, when Faranak would go to the ship and right away to Fontaine.
It kind of made Kaveh worry, not to know, how his mother will do. Especially in a totally different Nation, in addition with her current state of mind.
Will she be alright?
Maybe this trip will end like his father's trip to the desert?
Kaveh had known, how crazy and hurtful his inner voice can be. Now these thoughts, were just another crack, inside Kaveh's already so broken heart and mind.
This thought felt like suffocating him and made his heart ache. Only the sound of the ship could make him snap back to reality. It was almost time, to see his mother leave and not knowing, how she would be.
As Kaveh looked around, trying to see his mother, he found her already on the boat. She really was about to leave, without saying his little light goodbye.
So Kaveh just ran in front of the boat, so he could reach his mother and tell her goodbye and good luck. Even when she recognised his Voice, Faranak turned a bit around and just waves towards his direction. Nothing more nothing less.
It made Kaveh sigh and left him saddened. Now his mother was gone and, he had to return to an empty home
It has been more than a month since Faranak had taken her trip to Fontaine. Kaveh didn't receive any kind of news from her.
Even if it made him feel uneasy, the schoolwork still kept him occupied. His second year was close to end. Which meant he was close, to be a senior.
For archiving that Kaveh, had to get past a lot of Exams and for that he and his friends basically lived in the library.
They always spend lots and lots of time to study and maybe even forgot, what a proper sleeping schedule was
Kaveh spend so much time in the library, that it was always around noon, when he finally returned home. An empty Home.
Kaveh tried to avoid the empty silence, that surrounded his home. Not that it was any louder, when his mother was there.
Just that the lights in the house indicated, that someone was there and not the pitch black room, Kaveh met every time he opened the door.
He missed his mother. Not just the mother from many years ago, that made him fresh pancakes and embraced him with lots of love.
He missed the mother, who barely spoke any kind of words with him and forgot his sons birthday many times. But at least he had a mother, a parent, he knew was present in his life.
Which seemed like an actual wonder for him, when his mother returned
Kaveh once more, came home late at night, ready to fall asleep and pray for the Archons, not to haunt him with any kind of nightmares.
For Kaveh surprise, the moment he opened the door, the room wasn't dark. A brief second he believed, that he forgot to put the light back off or something similar. Then the next thing that made him wonder, was a weird sound coming out of the Kitchen.
Kaveh was afraid, someone broke in and tried to steal something. As Kaveh tried to move slowly to the kitchen, trying to take the burglars off guard, he encountered a person he, hadn't seen in a while.
"Little light please don't tell me, you are always out so late? Sooner or later this could affect your performance in classes."
This Voice. It belonged to her, Faranak. It wasn't monotone, sad or numb at all, instead Kaveh could hear a bit of joy in it.
Even when Kaveh looked at her, she seemed more healthier and calmer, than before she left. This was a pleasant surprise for Kaveh.
For the first time, he somehow felt actually quite happy, happy to see his mother like this. Kaveh embraced her in a hug, telling her how much he missed her. Faranak hesitantly and half hearted hugged back but it was enough for Kaveh. It was something to work with.
"So how has it been in Fontaine? Please tell me everything?" Kaveh placed down the chair next to her. He sounded like every time his parents returned from a job or trip.
Maybe something in his mind tried to tell him, that he shouldn't act so delusional and overreacting but it didn't care for Kaveh. He already went down the path.
"Kaveh I think, we should talk about this tomorrow. As for now, you must be pretty tired. So get some sleep, go to School and afterwards we can discuss everything, that happened, alright?" Faranak sounded so sincere and caring, maybe not as much as Kaveh thought it sounded but he didn't care. Kaveh missed being cared like that.
Of course, he tried to insist, to skip a day in the Academia and spend time with his mother but, Faranak declined it.
As if the morning afterwards couldn't get any better, Kaveh woke up with the smell of breakfast and when he walked to the kitchen, he actually found prepared food there.
Kaveh hold his hand in front of his mouth, full in shock, like he couldn't believe what he just saw. Maybe he actually felt his eyes getting a bit wet.
How silly it was for him, to react to something, that used to be so simple and nothing impressive but for him it was. Kaveh believed this must be a dream, to see his mother standing upwards, making breakfast for both of them.
"Hey Good morning mama, how did you sleep? You seem in a pretty good mood today and how come this breakfast?" Kaveh sounded so joyous, like he was a kid again.
"Well good morning to you too Kaveh, I had a decent amount of sleep, hope same goes to you. As for the breakfast....well I felt kind of hungry and since you probably, would make some breakfast for yourself, I decided to make us both something." Faranak eyes slightly viewed towards her son, still focused to clean the dirty dishes.
"Thanks Mom." Kaveh said gratefully while starting to eat. "Also don't worry, I'll take care of Dinner today." He hummed with a smile.
Faranak reacted with a "Fine" under her breath and sat alongside her son.
The breakfast went on rather swiftly without anything else to say but for Kaveh, it was at least something. Even his day at the Academia, was pretty nice. Even his presentation went pretty well. It seemed like his day could be so perfect and nothing could ruin it.
Before returning back home, he even took a quick visit at the bazaar, buying his mother's favourite snacks flowers and all the ingredients he would need to make her favourite food.
I bet she will love all of this
Then as Kaveh returned home, he called out in the room, that he is back. Kaveh heard how his mother greeted him from her bedroom and followed her voice.
Faranaks door was open and Kaveh thought to take a quick look, to proper say hello to her.
"Hey Mama, you had heard, I'm back right? I also brought some stuff, even your favourite flowers. If you want anything else, just say it. I would go to prepare dinner in the kitchen." Kaveh stood in the doorframe and saw his mother looking at something.
Alongside it, Kaveh noticed the open suitcase and asked if he should help her, to unpack it.
"Oh no need to help me little... light, I'll do it myself. Just go in the kitchen. I don't want to disturb you while cooking." Faranak shoved up her son, with gesturing her hand in a way that made Kaveh go out of her room.
It was quite odd and even rude, that was what Kaveh thought but didn't waste another second to thought about it. If she didn't need help, It was alright and Kaveh, wouldn't force his help onto her.
Then Kaveh finished the food and called out Faranak, to join him in the kitchen.
Kaveh prepared the table with plates, glasses and a vase with the flowers in it. He wants everything to be perfect, so his mother could be proud of him.
"That's quite nice of you Kaveh, you definitely took lots of effort and time into it." Faranak voice at least had a bit of complimenting in it, alongside a tiny smile on it.
"Yes I did, so I really hope you will like it Mama. Please enjoy." Kaveh hummed with a pleasant expression. He can't recall, when was the last time, he ever felt so happy.
His delusional mind, thought this could be a new start for them, to have a better relationship again. Even maybe, seeing her smile and happy again.
Of course Kaveh leaded the conversation and asked a lot about her staying in Fontaine.
Faranak told her Son about all the fascinating architecture and cuisine they have there. Not to forget their technological advancement.
The way, she explained all of this, made her sound quite happy and enthusiastic about it. This reminded Kaveh, of the times her mother teaches her about Sumerus architecture.
It made Kaveh genuinely smile, to see his mother so happy again.
Then their dinner came to and end but as Kaveh thought about leaving the table, Faranak asked him to sit down again.
"Uhm sure...I can sit down." Kaveh sat down with a perplexed expression. Kaveh wasn't sure, what this will be about but something in his mind already prepared him, for whatever his mother will say and that it will be something, Kaveh wouldn't like to hear.
Even the way his mother looked, made him feel uneasy.
Faranak started to speak, while looking straight into the face of her son. He looked perplexed and worried, what this conversation will be about. "So you remember that, I told you we will discuss things today, instead of yesterday?"
Kaveh nodded, his uneasiness had grown even further.
What was going on?
"I especially suggested it because, I want to bring out a topic, that would need a bit more time to handle." Her words sounded so easy, as if she had no problem to address, what was about to come.
"Uhm fine, so what's going on?" Kaveh chuckled under his breath, trying to keep his cool.
"Well you see, during the time in Fontaine a (handsome) young man, offered me a job in Fontaine. as an architect. I would gladly like to accept it." She once more looked straight into Kaveh's face and could see how his face widened in from surprise.
Kaveh for sure couldn't believe, what he just heard. His hands grabbed the edge of the table, as if it would help Kaveh not to fall backwards from the shock.
If what he heard, would be the universe laughing at him, that they raised up his hopes to shatter it up right away.
Kaveh's true happy expression, turned to the fake happy expression he wore, every time he left his room. "So this would mean you will move to Fontaine." He asked in an unsure voice
"So this would mean I will move to Fontaine." Faranaks on the other hand, was sure. That there will be no doubt in her decision.
This could be a bad Joke, if it weren't for the fact that Kaveh's whole life felt like a bad joke. A never ending bad Joke.
What was he supposed to do? Tell his mother not to go, not to leave him and with that stay in a place, she felt so unhappy. Fontaine made her happy, Sumeru didn't.
And who would Kaveh be, to ruin his mother's happiness, when he was the one who ruined it the first time.
Kaveh knew that if his mother would leave to Fontaine, she would be gone, far away from her mistake, her fault of a son.
"Well mom, I definitely won't get in your way to pursue your happiness." Not again. "You have my blessing in this." Kaveh rubbed her mother's hand with a fake smile.
Faranak thanked him for his support and furthermore, they discussed the other necessities. Like, what would happen to their house and when the official departure would be.
Luckily Kaveh would be able to stay and for his mother officially leaving, it would be around a week. Kaveh would only be able, to spend time with his mother for almost a week. This would be way too short for him.
But he had to accept it. This was going to happen either way.
The following week, was an emotional rollercoaster for Kaveh.
As much as, he tried to keep his cool and be supportive, of his mother's decision, with each day closer, to her departure, Kaveh felt his heart getting heavier and heavier.
Even the making 'good last memories together', didn't help at all. Kaveh felt like screaming into his pillow, with how much he had to endure. Kaveh, the gentle and kind soul he is, can reach his limit as well but he always tried his best not to break down.
To occupy his mind, he drowned the rest of his free time in school work. After all, he was close to start his third year. It made him feel kind of excited but it sadly couldn't overshadow the exhausting feeling this whole departure gave him.
Then the day came, where Kaveh finally had to say goodbye to his mother. Early in the morning, he made her favourite food and some takeaway, for her traveling.
Kaveh took a free day off the Akademiya, so he could jo in her, when she would go to the harbor.Till then, it felt like time passed by slowly very slowly.
Then as the time finally arrived, they made their way to the harbor. Their walk went rather quiet with nothing to say. Kaveh just hold the packages from his mother.
Looking around the harbor, they actually found the ship, that would take his mother away from Kaveh. Far away to a totally different Nation.
It made Kaveh wonder, what difference this departure had, compared to her first one.
Maybe it was the fact that during the first time, it was Kaveh's first real experience, to be alone. At that time he, wasn't sure, if he would be able to manage that. Kaveh even feared that something could happen to her and yet this time it felt worse.
Kaveh's mind knew the answer.
The difference was the fact that now, his mother won't return, not because something happened to her but because she would be in a better place without her. Also he would definitely be alone now.
So with each step, Faranak went towards the boat, Kaveh felt more and more helpless and his heart cracked even more.
As a child, Kaveh found it silly that someone could die from a broken heart but now this right here might be a proof, that this could actually happen.
Yet Kaveh still chose to smile and wave after his mother, once more, and looked towards the direction, even though it had disappeared along the horizon.
Faranak was officially gone. Kaveh stayed at the harbor for quite some time, till he walked back home with heavy steps.
It felt even more heavier to him to open up the door. Kaveh's hands were shaking, which made it difficult to move the key. Additional to that his heavy and unsteady breathing made it worse he felt ready to finally collapse.
In fact, the moment he actually managed to open up the door and close it right after, Kaven could only walk a few steps, till he collapsed down the floor.
Kaveh couldn't stop the tears and cries, not like he tried to hide them.
There was no one, that could hear his pain.
Kaveh was all alone.
No-one that could hug him and comfort him, telling him, that everything would be alright.
Kaveh only had himself.
So all he did was to hug himself and cried to himself begging for help. Into the empty room.
Letting out all the pain, hid from himself, all those years, made Kaveh so exhausted, that he passed out on the floor.
For his misery, this little light still hadn't burned out, although he wished so much for it. Kaveh had no reason to shine any longer, to no-one just for himself.
Kaveh thought for himself, that him being still alive, was still part of his punishment, that he had to endure.
He still had to carry on this happy expression for all of his life, he chose this punishment for himself.
So all these upcoming years, Kaveh may find any kind of happiness but still not enough to heal from his pain.
Kaveh would never be able to accept something for him besides pain.
This little light was only there to burn himself but no matter what, Kaveh will endure it till the moment life would ever show mercy on him.