Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

The heat was causing strands of hair to stick onto the back of his neck. The weather forecast this morning said it was expected to be the hottest day of the month, an unprecedented high temperature for the month of May. It was followed by an argument over live television about whether climate change was actually occurring or not with both sides adamantly firm on their respective side. Inaho watched with a waning interest as one of them, face as red as the tie he wore, swear furiously at the other until the newscasters stepped in and the program went on a commercial break.

This was the state of “news” in today’s world. A laughable farce of egos and biased opinions that had the nerve to present itself as fact. And people ate it up. As long as it came out of the mouth of that newscaster with the professionally done make-up and orthodontist corrected smile, it became the truth of society. Facts didn’t matter to them. Everything was just a ploy for ratings and page clicks, and it didn’t matter who got hurt in their pathetic quest for them.

He regrets it now. It was a silly thing to watch in the morning. Inaho usually didn’t bother with television, preferring to get the information he needed from a quick search on his tablet, but today he had needed something, anything to take his attention away from what awaited later on in the day.

May 11, 2020.

Just how long has he been waiting for this very date?

For the past year, he’s been counting down every single day. Marking the calendar without fail. His nerves eating him more and more the closer it approached.

He’s not sure if what he’s doing is the right thing. Rather, he’s probably in the wrong. He has to be in the wrong. That could be certain after all the hearts he had to break and all the people he had to disappoint to get to this point.

Would his younger self laugh at him?

Would he laugh at him?

Life wasn’t like a fairytale; it never had been. If it had been, it would have never come to this. He had longed to be an adult, to have power, agency, more choices. He thought that becoming an adult would come with having more freedom. However, now that he has grown up, he sees the responsibilities that come with being one, even ones that he had not foreseen before.

Bills, fees, education, careers, obligation to society, politics, the struggle of daily life.

Relationships with family, friends, lovers.

You couldn’t just think about yourself. You were a cog in a machine, a figure in someone’s life, a mentor to some, an enemy to another. Your actions didn’t only affect yourself and as a functional member of the society you lived in, you had to keep that in mind with every aching step you took.

He didn’t have the power to change the world. Just what have these hands protected?

He had dreamed of just taking his hand and running away. They would live with just the two of them. All he needed was the other and he had hoped that he had felt the same even though he now knows that he never did. It was a fleeting, childish dream that didn’t consider anyone except themselves. Fleeing from all that sought to harm them. What he had meant by that, he doesn’t really know.

But it’s a wish he keeps within him even now at this very moment, even if he still doesn’t possess the answer to it. It’s strange how you can grow so much taller, mature into looking so much older, become so much smarter, have your world become that much wider, yet you still can’t answer those simple questions from when you were a child. It makes him wonder if it really was worth it to grow up. If this was how it was going to be, if this was how he was going to live life, he didn’t want to grow up. He wanted to stay a child forever.

But such thoughts don’t matter. Time doesn’t wait for anyone. He was not a child any longer and he hasn’t been for many years, whether he likes it or not. His cheeks aren’t pudgy enough for his sister to squeeze for entertainment, his shoe size has grown, he has new interests, he knows a bit more about common social cues, the people he knows are different. He is different, no matter how much he insists that he isn’t.

He had changed and it was terrifying how close he was to the very person he never wanted to become. But, he also tries deluding himself that this was the result of the choices he has made.

He didn't think that he was one to go against it all like this, to clearly choose what is wrong, but that was another testament to the fact that things were different and he has changed.

He leans against the leather wheel of his car. It is hot from the sun mercilessly beating down on it through the whole ride here. It burns, but Inaho finds that he doesn’t mind. It was a welcomed feeling.

He doesn’t know if he’s right. Rather, he must be wrong.

He’s an adult chasing after a dream he had when he was a child.

So it was only natural to revert back to being a child to make it come true and that in itself was wrong.

He took off his seat belt and slowly got out of his car, surprised to feel the pitter-patter of raindrops on his face.

It was raining.

While he knows that this is rain from an excess of precipitation in the atmosphere due to the extreme heat, he still wishfully thinks that it’s because that this is their day and their season was rain.

He remembers the feel of rain dripping down his hair as he stood in front of the silent blond. Waiting for him to say anything, waiting for him to regain a desire to live.

He doesn’t know if he welcomes the rain though because those are memories better left abandoned and this was supposed to be their new beginning.

The parking lot is mostly empty with the only other car being an expensive looking one in the shade. His eyes strayed to the sign with those painful words that haunted him for so long. Walking past it on shaky feet, he brought out his phone from his pockets to check the time.

Almost noon.

He checks the date too, just in case. He had fantasized about this day a countless number of times, so many that he feared that this very moment could all just be a dream or a nightmare, he couldn’t tell. A part of him dreads it so much that he does wish the ground beneath his feet wasn’t real. It would soon shatter into a million pieces, him along with it, and he would wake up in his bed, as alone as the moon in the sky, yet safe and secure. Relieved.

But the dull lighting of the phone and the workings of time are fair and at the same time, unbearably cruel.

May 11, 2020.

The day he’s waited so long for. The day he wished would never come. The day he so achingly longed for.

He prepared relentlessly for this day, sacrificed so much for it. All for a dream he doesn’t even know exists anymore. For a dream the two of them probably never shared.

He is an adult now. That is why he understands how much of a fairytale the world cannot be. It doesn’t end with a happily ever after because there is so much to life and so much life to live after the storybook ends and the pages are gone.

He has nothing. No plan, no strategy, no trick hidden up his sleeve. He has nothing in his hands to offer him except himself and he might be spit on for even daring to offer it.

He truly has nothing.

But that also meant that nothing was tying him down, chaining him to the ground.

The passage of time is cruel and so is most of this world. It was always like that for him.

Now, stand tall and take that step forward, Kaizuka Inaho.

The time has come for the end of your first love.

Inaho was a peculiar child.

He never cried even when he was young and adults always praised him for being so mature whenever he easily gave up the toys he was playing with for another crying classmate. He didn’t exactly understand why they would do so though. It was nothing, really. He wasn’t going to feel any loss, so if it would help the other child and stop their insistent crying, he had no problem with giving it up.

Yuki used to tear her hair out when it came time for his birthday because no matter how much she asked what he wanted, he would only respond with practical things like a new fry pan instead of toys or other things that kids his age usually wanted. She would grab his shoulders and practically beg for him to give her an idea on what to get him, but he would just give her a troubled smile and tell her it was fine and it really was.

He had little desires.

All he wanted was Yuki and the rest of his friends to be safe and happy.

That didn’t even mean that he had to be right there beside them when they do laugh and smile in that joy in living.

He found that he could easily let go of even them as long as they were happy.

You could call it selfless, but he didn’t think of it in that way. He was normal and he had things he would stand firm about. It’s just that he wasn’t attached enough to seriously hang on. It’s not that he found it pathetic to love something so much that you couldn’t let it go no matter what; it was actually rather a humane and “ordinary” thing. He just didn’t have something to feel that way about.

He didn’t have anything he would refuse to part with, but he did have something, though he didn’t know what, that he always wanted.

Nakahara Jun once said that the thing that defines you is not “what” you are, but “what” if you lose, will make you cease to be you anymore.

He still hasn’t found that.

So...he asks, just who is he?

The rhythmic sound of rain drops hitting the ground awakens the half-asleep students in the class. All eyes in the room direct themselves to the windows where the polished glass is stained with the tiny drops of the incoming rain. The sprinkle soon turns to a drizzle which soon turns into pouring and the class bustles with interest in the sudden weather change. Inaho could hear Calm groaning that he didn’t bring his umbrella today.

“How could you have not? The forecast this morning said 50% chance of rain.” Inko chided the blonde, displaying her purple umbrella.

“Who the hell looks at that every morning? It was so sunny today too...” He squinted at her before going back to rest his chin on his hands. “Aaah, won’t there be some hot girl out there who’ll share her umbrella with me?”

“Like any girl would do that for you.” Nina snickered. She soon latched onto Inko’s desk. “By the way, Inko, I was wondering...”

Inko looked exasperated at the blonde girl, but only for a moment, before she smiled and patted her friend’s hair. “Yeah, yeah, I’ll let you in under my umbrella.”

“Yes! I love you, Inko!” Nina squealed before hugging the other girl.

“How heartwarming, but don’t forget we’re in the middle of class, all of you.” Marito drawled from the teacher’s podium at the front of the classroom. He was the one who looked the least interested in class with his posture slouched and his phone out.

The class eventually settled back down and Marito got back to the lesson. Keeping an ear out to listen to the lecture, Inaho continued to stare outside of the window at the steady pour of rain.

He didn’t have an umbrella either.

The bell rang, signaling an end to the day. The rain was unfortunately still falling, but it wasn’t as strong as before. It was manageable at this level. He had a special sale to get to so he couldn’t stay around waiting for the rain to pass, if it ever did.

“Inaho? Do you not have an umbrella?”

It was Inko with Nina beside her.

He nodded and she looked apologetic so he quickly cleared up her worries. “I’ll be fine if it’s only raining this much. I can go get an umbrella from Yuki anyway.”

Her face visibly softened in relief and the two girls left soon after. Only after confirming that they had left the school grounds did he start packing up his things to get ready to leave. It had been a small, white lie and he was glad that Inko was the type of person to believe in whatever people told her. Not everyone could be so honest as to believe whatever came out of another’s mouth. He was the type to analyze everything so that part of her was charming.

If you thought about it a little bit, if he didn’t have an umbrella, it was highly unlikely that his older sister, who was so clumsy that he had to take care of most of her things, would have one. Hopefully she would make it home okay.

It was unusual for him to make a miss like this, but today hadn’t been a very lucky day for him. Yuki had taken longer to prepare than usual after her hairdryer apparently broke and she scrambled to get ready to go to work. It was her first year as a homeroom teacher so it was necessary for her to get to school at least an hour before it started. He had to help her with gathering all her things and preparing her breakfast and lunch at the same time that by the time he realized it, he had little time to prepare for his own departure for school. He had meant to check the weather forecast right before he left like he usually did, but that was also when he realized that the bus he normally took was going to be late according to the updates he got to his tablet. The only way he would make it to school on time was for him to rush to catch the bus that came before it. Thus, he made a break for it and subsequently, didn’t check the weather report.

Such a miss usually wouldn’t result in a situation like this, but it seems that he was just unlucky. The past couple days had seen some of the brightest and clearest skies of this month so it wouldn’t be a far-fetched assumption to think that today wouldn’t be any different.

Sighing to himself, he made his way to the entrance way of the school. The rain was light, but still falling hard enough that there was no doubt that he would get wet on his way to the supermarket and back home.

He didn’t particularly like the rain. He couldn’t freely use electronics in it. The raindrops got on the screens of his tablet and streaked across when he wiped it. It made for some unpleasant smells, though Yuki would call them “the smells of nature”. And it made the skies feel grey, moody. Just like his mood right now even if it didn’t show on his face.

Bracing himself, he ran into the rain and to the direction of the market, feeling his mood sour from the splatter of raindrops along his face.

As he thought, he couldn’t bring himself to like the rain.

For the string of bad luck today, he was fortunate enough to be able to buy the eggs that were on the time sale. A dozen for only $1, the market’s most boasted sale and most popular item. He already had a full stock of them at home, but it was always good to buy them when they were cheap. Eggs were simply so useful. You could use them to make rolled omelette, scrambled egg, egg sandwiches, poached egg. Or you could use them for baking, whipping up a cream, or making light and fluffy pancakes. In a good mood at last, he noted that the rain was lightening up so he could leisurely walk back home now, especially considering he was dripping wet already.

The skies were still grey, but specks of blue could be seen peaking from behind the clouds. It appeared that it was just a passing storm.

Yuki should be fine with going home in this rain as well, he thought in relief. He had considered going back to school with an umbrella for her if the rain still kept up by the time he got home, but it looked like that wasn’t needed. His thoughts occupied, he turned the corner when something, or rather, someone ran into him.

It wasn’t a forceful impact, but the angle at which they collided made them both fall back onto their bottoms.

Wincing from the pain in his bones, he noticed that his eggs were tossed to the side, most likely broken. Today just wasn’t his day. Right when he thought that things were getting better for him, the whole reason he ran through the rain, ignoring the feel of raindrops on his face and heaviness of his jacket, was now oozing onto the cement. The yellow of the broken yolk were a stark contrast to the grey of the asphalt, but it could hardly be called beautiful. Ready to chew the other person out for wasting perfectly good eggs, he directed his attention to the idiot who would rush past that corner which was known for its glaring blind spot.

White.

That was his first impression.

The other boy, though he could have been taken for as a girl, was also sitting on the ground like himself. His pale blond hair looked almost a blinding white from the reflection of the rays of sun peeking out from the clouds. The rain gently flattened out some parts of his hair while some other strands stuck to his face while others floated in the wind and curled up on their own. He was deathly pale, though Inaho couldn’t be sure if it was from the shock of the impact or if he originally looked like the sun had never touched upon his skin.

But what was most striking were those brilliant blue eyes. Mixed with a mint green, the shade seemed to change with every movement he made.

By the other boy’s side was a black umbrella, fashioned with a bat tail and ears.

This was the first meeting between Kaizuka Inaho and Slaine Troyard.

“They say he’s like a prince!” Nina gushed in her seat during the break time.

“You call?” Calm grinned, only to get a light punch in the arm by Inko.

“No one’s talking about you.” She frowned. “Nina was talking about the transfer student.”

“Transfer student?”

“Yeah, well, he’s not transferring into our year though.”

“So...He’s a senior?”

Inko nodded.

“Isn’t it weird to transfer at a time like this?” Okisuke leaned his cheek against his palm. “Right, Inaho?”

He looked up from his tablet. Okisuke was always roping him into the conversation like this, never letting him stray too far behind. It wasn’t done consciously, it was just his nature and it was probably that part of him that made Inaho feel at ease with him.

“Everyone has their own circumstances. Most likely it’s related to a job transfer, considering the season.”

“If Inaho says so, that’s gotta be it.”

“You just don’t want to think about it!” Calm nudged him. “Don’t blame ya though. Aaah, what a waste. If it was a girl, I’d volunteer my services as her personal escort, tour guide, and boyfriend candidate.”

“I’m glad it’s not a girl so she doesn’t have to deal with your nonsense.” Nina looked exasperated.

“But he really is pretty.” Inko looked wistful. “Makes me lose confidence...”

“You’re plenty pretty, Inko!” Nina tried encouraging her, but Inko was lost in her own world.

“So you’ve seen the mysterious transfer student?”

“Mmhm. Because of student council.” She mumbled. “Life isn’t fair. You feel me here?”

“Instead of focusing on others, maybe you should put that energy into improving yourself.” Rayet spoke up from her phone, looking pointedly at Inaho who was paying more attention to the schedule of sales on his tablet than to the conversation. Everyone smiled wryly at him and gave Inko a pitiful pat on the back much to her displeasure.

“Inko.” Inaho suddenly spoke up, eyes still not straying from the screen.

“A, ah, yeah!?”

“What’s the transfer student’s name?”

“Huh? Why do you want to know?”

He didn’t respond. Slender fingers delicately flowing across the screen, swiping from app to app, setting up schedule after schedule.

“...Slaine. Slaine Troyard, I think.”

“Hmm...”

“Hey, Inaho, why did you want to know? Do you know him or something?”

He finally raised his head to show everyone his deep red eyes. Just what emotion lay beyond them, they didn’t know even after all these years.

“Not really.”

“Slaine.”

The one waiting by the building for him stood up from his leaning posture on the wall. Eyes sparkling brightly in the light, he smiled that gentle, template smile. “Inaho.”

“Sorry, did you have to wait?”

The blond shook his head. “I actually only just got here myself. There are quite a lot of things you have to do on the first day of school.”

“Aah, you got caught by a mob of girls.”

“How did you know!?”

“Your clothes are in disarray and I can smell sweet perfume. Unless you enjoy that sort of stuff, it would be natural to assume it rubbed off on you when one got too close.”

Slaine lifted up his sleeve to smell it, but only made a face of confusion, tilting his head in a puzzled manner. He was older than him, but it didn’t feel like him with all his mannerisms.

“You can’t smell it yourself now. It’s nose blindness. The receptors in your nose stop responding to a scent after about three to four inhalations of it.”

Slaine looked at him with an air of reverence. “You’re quite smart, aren’t you, Inaho.”

“This is information anyone can look up.”

“Hmm...” Slaine didn’t look entirely convinced. “Well then, shall we go? Time’s ticking, right?”

He nodded and they started walking together.

Destination: the supermarket.

After the eggs incident, Inaho had given a lecture to the blond boy. Describing to him the importance of eggs, looking out for other people, the blind spot for that corner, the difficulties of obtaining eggs from that supermarket’s special time sale, and the like. Slaine had just stared wide-eyed at him throughout the whole thing and occasionally nodding furiously whenever Inaho demanded a confirmation that he was listening.

It was all so strange. Inaho had never been one to talk this animatedly to someone he had just met. Rather, he wasn’t the type to lecture people like this either, but somehow, with this pale blond haired boy, the words fell so easily out of his lips and a feeling of what he observed to be irritation boiled in the bottom of his stomach. Even now that clumsy smile he made whenever he was troubled irritated him.

So, why are they together right now then?

After Inaho finished his tirade, Slaine immediately stood up and apologized, offering to reimburse him for the eggs he had broken. But, reimbursing wouldn’t do Inaho any good since they were bought during the time sale so one thing led to another and they had exchanged phone numbers and made a promise to go to the time sale together the next week. Slaine would aid Inaho in buying another pack of the dozen eggs.

“Are you listening?”

He’s brought back from his thoughts by Slaine’s voice, complete with pouting, puffed cheeks and narrowed eyes.

This? A prince?

He feels a bit sorry for Nina.

“Sorry, I wasn’t.”

Slaine sighed. “I thought so. Whatever, it wasn’t that important anyway.”

It was most likely small talk since they still hardly knew each other so Inaho didn’t pay too much mind to it.

When they finally reached the supermarket, housewives and older women were already getting ready outside. Slaine nervously stuck closer to Inaho, the scent of perfume tickling his nose again. The sweet flowery scent didn’t really suit Slaine in his opinion. “I, isn’t there a lot of people...?”

“It seems you don’t understand how this works, Bat.” He looked at those blue eyes with the utmost serious expression. “This is war.”

“War?” He looked incredulous, before narrowing his eyes again. While he did have an aesthetically pleasing facial structure, his eyes were smaller than Inaho’s and turned up at their ends, making every glare of his look all the more noticeable. “And wait, bat? Are you talking about me?”

“Unless we’ve been ignoring each other for the past half hour and speaking to air, yes, I am talking to you.”

Slaine flushed, peeved at Inaho’s light teasing. “Listen here, I—“

“4 o’ clock sharp. Let’s go, Bat.” He grabbed Slaine’s hand, ignoring his protests, and dashed into the supermarket with the trail of housewives following behind.

“Inaho!?”

“Time is money.” A second too late and you could miss out.

“It’s eggs, for pete’s sake!”

“Here.” Slaine looked miffed as he handed Inaho the pack of eggs he had just bought during the time sale. His hair was sticking out in funny places and his clothes were rumpled again.

“Thank you.” Well, it was to replace the ones that Slaine had caused him to drop, but he decided that an expression of gratitude was necessary. Another one of the social cues Yuki has to lecture him on so often.

“Do you honestly go through that every week?” He looked completely worn out and for some reason, Inaho thought that this look was much more fitting for him than some unapproachable prince that Nina was going on about.

“Today was not as bad as it has been. In fact, it was easier to obtain it because some of the housewives were preoccupied with you.”

Slaine groaned while straightening out his messy hair. Inaho noted with mild amusement that the strands seem to have a life of their own and resisted all of the blond’s attempts at controlling them. “They kept on touching my hair and cheeks...I’m not a doll or plaything!”

“Older women tend to like cute things.”

“Are you trying to say I’m cute?” Slaine looked half creeped out and half embarrassed.

“I’m just stating the average population’s tastes. It’s prevalent amongst the Japanese to find blue eyed and blond people aesthetically pleasing, assumedly a byproduct of westernization and the influences of—“

“Yes, of course, are we even now?” Slaine cut him off.

“...Yes.” He wasn’t annoyed that Slaine has cut him off at every little tirade he goes on. Not at all. He’s used to it, really.

“Great.” Slaine smiled at last. It wasn’t like the smile he had on when they met up earlier which was a stiff curving of the lips that looked like it came from a stockpile of expressions the older boy had. It was smaller, a little bit more tired, like one you’d unknowingly make after you’re out of breath after a long but fulfilling day. “I’ll see you then, Inaho. It...was an experience. I might try it again on my own sometime.”

He laughed softly and the sound was pleasing to Inaho’s ears. Slaine adjusted his bag and waved goodbye before turning around and walking off in a different direction.

Inaho stared at his retreating back. The wind gently caressed Slaine’s pale blond hair and it seemed like if Inaho even blinked, he would be gone the very next moment.

A Prince. While he disagreed with the image itself, that probably was the best way to describe Slaine’s looks. Vibrant blue eyes, a hair full of fluffy, pale blond hair, a gentle smile, and a calm, soft voice. He was even polite to all the pushy women in the supermarket when they grabbed their hands all over him. An English gentleman, though Inaho wasn’t entirely sure what part of Europe Slaine came from. Or whether he came from Europe at all.

It’s only now that Inaho realizes that he wants to know more about Slaine Troyard. From the little he’s talked to him, he didn’t seem entirely like the perfect gentleman his looks implied. He snapped at Inaho after his little egg lecture and was surprisingly forceful in taking control of the conversation. Inaho was sure that he was smarter than his sort of airheaded manners seemed to let on. It was rare that anyone could keep up with Inaho during conversations, but Slaine had done it easily and even occasionally overpowered him that it was often not him, but Slaine that had the last laugh.

And of course, that smile. He wasn’t sure why, but it felt so familiar, yet not and it left him with an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach. An insatiable curiosity, an itch he couldn’t quite satisfy.

Before he knew it, he was calling out Slaine’s name again and his hands were once again wrapped around that thin wrist. It felt hot to touch, from his or Slaine’s heat, he couldn’t tell, but it felt just right there.

Slaine’s blue eyes were wide open in confusion and he could see a mix of both doubt and something he couldn’t place his finger on in those eyes that changed color as often as the ocean beyond.

“Want to eat at my house?” The words were out before he even processed them.

“Huh?” Slaine was understandably confused and probably a little bit more than freaked out. Considering they had barely known each other for more than week, it was an acceptable reaction. If he was gung-ho about it from the start, Inaho would be more concerned about how easy his defenses were and would tell him about the dangers of trusting strangers and the like.

“Think of it as a thank you gift for the eggs.”

“But...they’re to replace the ones I made you drop...?” Slaine squinted at him.

“That was partly my fault to begin with so it is actually unfair for you to take the sole blame for it.”

“Then you could have just not made me come here today?”

“I said it wasn’t fair for you to take all the blame. You still were partly at fault for not watching where you were going and turning around that corner at such speeds.”

Slaine flushed with what appeared to be anger. “I just moved here! How was I supposed to know!?”

“That’s why I said it was only partially your fault.”

“You—“

“So let me treat you to dinner as thanks for the eggs. Adding another person doesn’t make that much of a difference. Don’t worry about the taste, my sister says I’m quite good at cooking.”

He was met with exasperated eyes and a deep sigh.

“...Are you being serious?”

“Yes.”

“We’ve practically just met.”

“I am well aware. This isn’t a house visit. It’s an expression of gratitude.”

“I’m more than happy with just a simple ‘thank you’.”

“It doesn’t sit right with me.”

Slaine sighed again and ran a hand through his blond locks. In the orange glow of the setting sun, the motion highlighted his long lashes and elegant form. It wasn’t hard to imagine why he was popular already. Maybe that was why he was so open with him already? Inaho didn’t think that he was the type to judge people based off of looks though.

The older boy finally seemed to have made a decision and peered at Inaho’s red eyes with his blue ones. He smiled again.

“...Lead the way?...Orange.”

Somehow that smile was the most unnerving one Inaho had seen yet.

“You can put your bag there.” He pointed in a corner in the entranceway. Slaine nodded and did as he was told, taking off his shoes to put on the slippers that were set up for him. Inaho had assumed that he was raised in a Western background so he wouldn’t be familiar with such customs, but it seemed that wasn’t the case.

They were in his apartment that he shared with Yuki now. After his parents died in a car accident when he and Yuki were young, they were soon taken to an orphanage. It was only when Yuki grew up and quickly got a job to support them did they move into this apartment. It wasn’t large or particularly modern and nice, but it was home. He had once suggested he also take on a part-time job to help with the bills, but Yuki furiously shook her head and practically begged him to stay in school and live life like a normal teenager. He only agreed because he couldn’t reject her pleading eyes, but whenever she came home exhausted from the long day, with heavy eye bags and messy hair, he wondered if this really was the right thing to be doing.

He’s a burden. Yuki was 21, entering the golden years of her life. She should be out with friends, enjoying her youth and the endless possibilities life had laid out for her. Have a boyfriend or two, someone to care for her as she deserved to be treated. She spent so much time working at the school that he never heard her mention any lovers or acquaintances that they both didn’t know because they were all associated with the academy. Yuki had worked so hard her entire life to care for Inaho and it was beyond frustrating that he was still tying her down during the times that it was acceptable, allowed for one to be selfish the most.

“Inaho?”

It was Slaine to break him out of his thoughts again.

“Sorry.” This wasn’t the time to be thinking about such things. It was probably still awkward for Slaine to suddenly be in the house of someone he barely knows. “You can sit down while I make dinner.”

“Is there anything I can help with?”

He looked at Slaine. The one who nearly tripped on the stairs up to his apartment, almost breaking the eggs yet again. “No, it’s fine.”

“Aah, what’s with that look!?” Slaine protested, puffing out his cheeks again. Does this person understand that he’s older than Inaho was? It sure didn’t feel like it. “I’ll have you know that I am actually quite the fine cook myself.”

He looked quite confident, but there was no way that Inaho was going to let this walking disaster into his precious kitchen just like how he won’t let Yuki anywhere near any knives either. “It’s really fine.”

“I can’t just sit there while you do everything!”

“It’s really fine.”

“Is that all you can say!?” His eyes flared and he almost looked like a cat with his hair flowing all over the place with his jerky movements. “Fine, let’s do it this way then. I’ll make one thing with some of the eggs and you can make another. Battle!”

Neither of them spoke for a moment.

“It’ll...be like a competition? Of...sorts?” He suddenly looked a lot less confident.

They were wasting time like this and Yuki was going to be home soon, so Inaho eventually gave in. They were just eggs, how could you possibly go wrong with eggs?

“5 out of 10.” He said after taking a bite out of the small sandwiches Slaine had made.

“I think they’re at least a 7!” He said hotly, staring at the plate of clumsily made sandwiches. “In my defense, I’ve never used an electric stove before. I didn’t know how hot the plate actually was.”

“Mmhm.” He took another bite. “I think you could still tell by just looking if the egg was burning or not.”

Slaine didn’t respond to that, only looking frustrated and grasping the edges of the pink apron Inaho had lent him. It was originally supposed to be Yuki’s, but because of her lack of skill in the art of cooking, it never got used. It was also the only other apron in the house so though unwillingly, Slaine had no other option but to put it on.

He didn’t have much time today so he opted for a quick and easy to make curry with a side of rolled omelette to satisfy Slaine’s urge for “battle”.

“Here, try it.” He handed him a plate of the freshly made omelettes. Slaine expertly took his chopsticks to pick one up and place it in his mouth. Now that he thought about it, he had made it on the sweet side without considering whether Slaine preferred salty or sweet. “Sorry, I made it sweet without asking you first.”

“Mmm, no, it’s delicious!” Slaine smiled brightly, a small blush trailing on those pale cheeks. It was...something, Inaho couldn’t be sure what. “I’m actually used to them sweet anyway.”

“Did your mother make them this way?” He shook off those strange thoughts.

“Oh, no, I hardly remember her.”

The mood suddenly froze, at least for Inaho it did. This was not the type of subject one treaded upon when both parties barely know each other. Or was this because they barely knew each other? Anyway, he was feeling uncharacteristically awkward.

“I’m sorry for asking.” He stuffed the rest of the sandwich that Slaine had made in his mouth as a method of buying time from responding again and to just shut himself up.

Slaine smiled again with those gentle eyes and Inaho felt his heart stop for a moment before it went on as normal. What was this?

“It’s really fine, it doesn’t bother me. And you’re actually finishing them! I thought you said they were a 5 out of 10.”

He struggled to swallow it down and nodded. “I can’t let eggs go to waste.”

Slaine gave him a look that was leaning more on being a smirk and before long, they were both smiling at each other. Inaho could sense that the corners of his lips actually turned up. It was so unlike him that it was starting to scare him, but he felt so comfortable with Slaine even though they had barely just met. But, that pale blond hair, gentle smile, and brilliant blue eyes all felt so familiar to him and caused a rush of some emotion he could not decipher into his chest. It was a foreign feeling, so foreign to the point that he wasn’t sure if it was really coming from him. But that was a silly thought. Who other than himself would feel what he’s feeling right now?

“Naooooo, I’m hooome!” It was Yuki.

“Yuki, welcome back.” He took off his apron and went to the entranceway to see Yuki taking off her shoes and setting down her bag.

“Hehe, I’m back, Nao!” She draped herself over him and gave him a tight squeeze. “And you have a friend over!”

It seemed that she saw Slaine from behind Inaho’s back. She let go of him and walked over to where Slaine was in the kitchen, still wearing the pink apron he noted.

Holding out a hand, she smiled brightly, assumedly in an effort to calm the shaking boy’s nerves. “I’m Kaizuka Yuki. I’m Nao’s sister!”

It seemed to do the trick as the tension from his face gradually washed away and he shook her outstretched hand as he smiled, though it was one of those more practiced ones. “I’m Slaine Troyard. It’s very nice to meet you.”

“...?” Something flashed across her eyes and she almost looked like she would pull away before she forced a smile back onto her face.

“Is there something the matter?” Slaine’s blue eyes peered at her.

“No, no...It’s just...” She pondered over it for only a moment before it looked like a light bulb sprang to life in her brain. “Ah, you must be the transfer student!”

“Yes, today was my first day.”

“Welcome to Aldnoah Academy! I’m not sure if you already know, but I’m a teacher there!” She bounced with excitement. “I can’t believe you’re this close to Nao already! Have you two met before or something?”

“It’s kind of a long story.” Slaine wryly smiled.

“Yuki, Slaine, sit down, the curry is almost done.”

“Tell me all about it then. I honestly can’t believe that Nao’s inviting you over so soon. You know how he is, right? I was always worried about him making friends, thank god that Inko and the rest are such dears, but—“

“Yuki.”

“Alriiiight.”

She winked at Slaine with a thumbs up sign and Inaho could tell that tonight’s dinner would be a rowdy one.

“Ohh, you made these?” Yuki’s eyes sparkled as she reached for one of the sandwiches Slaine had made.

“Ah, yes...It’s apparently a 5 out of 10 though so you don’t need to force yourself to eat it.”

Inaho ignored Slaine’s pointed glance.

“5 out of 10 is great! I’m lucky to even get a 2 from him.” She took a bite. “MMm, it’s good! What are you talking about!? Well, not as good as Nao’s cooking if I do say so myself.”

“Yuki.”

“Oh come on, I’m just joking.”

“No, I understand, it’s true.” Slaine took another mouthful of the rolled omelette.

Yuki set down the sandwich to stare at Slaine for a bit. “Where were you raised, Slaine? You’re pretty good with chopsticks.”

This wasn’t necessarily the best direction for the conversation to go towards. Talk about Slaine’s origins would no doubt lead to talk about his parents and it might make him uncomfortable despite him saying that it doesn’t. It would be different to tell it to an adult like Yuki, not even considering the fact that she was a teacher at their school.

Slaine slightly nudged his foot with his own and he looked up to see him smiling reassuringly.

“I was born and raised in Sweden. I only moved here because of my father’s work.”

“And yet you’re already good at the language? Just how many do you know?” Yuki looked impressed.

“I’m fluent in about five, and can understand about another two.”

“That’s amazing!”

“It’s something anyone can do with enough study.”

“You sound like Nao.” Yuki sighed and peered over to him. “Did you know that Nao’s the top of his grade? He’s amazing too!”

Surprise lit up on Slaine’s face and he held his hands over his mouth. “That is amazing. I heard Aldnoah Academy is quite rigorous for its academics too.”

“Right, right?” She stuck her nose up high.

“Yuki, it’s not a competition.” He placed the last rolled omelette onto her plate.

He only did what was expected of him as a student. Study hard, get scholarships, and lessen her burden. That’s all that he could do for her.

“I just want to tell everyone how awesome you are, Nao.” She pouted. “Well, you are my younger brother after all, hehe.”

“I don’t think has anything to do with it. You did average in your studies, did you not?”

“Geh, don’t mention that.”

“You were the one who brought it up.”

They were interrupted by a soft chuckle.

“Ah, no, I wasn’t laughing at you two.” He quickly waved his hands, but the smile on his face was still apparent. “I was just thinking how nice it is to see how you’re both so close.”

“Yuki just acts younger than her age.”

“Nao!”

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of.” Slaine’s eyes were filled with warmth and Inaho couldn’t really bring himself to look directly at them. “It’s a wonderful thing to have a good relationship with your family.”

Yuki leaned from her seat to wrap her arms around Inaho’s head again, much to his embarrassment. “Yuki, you’ll get your hair on the food.”

“Lemme just hug you for a little, god!” She nuzzled his hair and he was reminded that it had been awhile since she had last done so. “Slaine, take my phone and take a picture of us!”

“Yuki...” This was more than a little bit embarrassing. She was acting like an overly proud parent, though he guessed she was somewhat like his parent figure. Even if he did have to take care of her most of the time.

She reached out to give Slaine her phone and their fingers momentarily touched. Inaho could feel her body reflexively flinch again, but couldn’t figure out why. Static electricity perhaps?

“Alright...” Slaine had already gotten out of his seat and was positioning the camera. “Three...two...Inaho, would it kill you to smile?”

“I am.”

“I’ve long given up on him for these things! Just go ahead with it!” Yuki squeezed him tighter and he could feel her body heat transferring to him. He had always been weak to the cold and it was always Yuki who shared her warmth, her love, and her care with him.

“Wait, actually, Slaine, you come in it too!” She motioned for him to put himself in the photo as well. “For the first time Nao brought you home!”

“Huh? But how am I supposed to...?”

“Position it like you would take a self-photo.”

“Selfie, selfie!” Yuki squealed.

“If you say so...” Slaine looked skeptical, but nonetheless, positioned the camera again, this time letting his eyes show up in it.

Three...

Two...

One.

He really had been smiling then.

“Inaho?”

“Hm?”

Inko was leaning to get a better look at his face, her amethyst eyes colored with concern. “Are you okay...? You don’t look so good.”

He rubbed one of his eyes and leaned back onto his chair. “Yeah, I just didn’t get much sleep last night.”

After he had seen Slaine off last night, he worked on his homework for a bit before turning in for the night, feeling uncharacteristically tired. It was then that he saw what would better be described as a nightmare.

It was a world with a broken moon.

The murder of a Princess.

Huge castles piercing the Earth’s surface and eradicating all life for miles.

Huge machines towering over people and crushing them as if they were bugs on the ground.

People dying left and right. Homes being destroyed with the lift of a finger.

No care for the loss of life.

His hands losing their grip on someone important.

Revenge, hatred, the fear of losing his loved ones.

Golden blond hair and innocent green eyes.

The wide, blue sky overhead as birds flew free, so unlike himself and the girl who stood by him. Trapped on Earth.

A silver pendant.

Near death. The aid of another.

A bat.

Blood on his hands.

Blood flowing directly down his face.

Warmth flowing into him from the hands that so tightly held onto his own.

His hands losing their grip on someone important.

The ground beneath his body as he crawled and dragged his body close.

And...

He had woken up there, sweating and unable to move. It was like watching a movie where events were stringed along together, but he couldn’t feel anything for them or the pain the characters in it experienced. Even if one of them was himself. He just blankly watched as they moved towards their goals and ideals, beautiful and noble in their cause but foolish in their actions. He could understand why they did what they did, but the emotional attachment was not there.

All that he felt as he was forced to watch was fear and a building sense of irritation.

If you looked at a story from an outside perspective, people would always seem stupid. Always making the wrong decisions, always trusting the wrong people, always leaving everything to their emotions when reason pointed the other way.

He was known to be rational at all times, yet the Inaho that appeared in his dream was so unlike him. It wasn’t in obvious ways like his behavior or personality, but in little actions, little decisions, there was something that did not fit, that did not click.

He could not accept that this was him.

The only face in his dream that was clear was his own. Everyone else in it was blurred out, but he could tell that some were people he knew even now. Inko, Calm, Nina, Rayet, his sister. They all appeared.

He did not know who the Princess his dream self so badly wanted to protect was.

But alas, it was all a dream. The silly sort of dream that middle schoolers would fantasize about. Becoming a hero and taking down bad guys while protecting a princess were what all young boys had dreamt about at least once in their lives.

It just wasn’t something that Inaho envisioned himself doing.

“Are you okay? Do you want to maybe sleep at the nurse’s office?” Inko still looked worried.

“No, I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m fine, Inko. Thanks for worrying though.”

She was unconvinced, but seeing as how he wasn’t going to budge, she gave up and went back to her seat.

He looked outside of the window. The skies were grey, a fitting color for what he felt.

“Ah, it’s Slaine.”

All of his friends turned to where Inaho was looking at. There was Slaine again, though this time, not surrounded by girls. A rare sight.

“Aaah, he really is pretty.” Nina sighed.

“Looks weak to me.” Rayet commented, directing her attention back to her phone.

“I bet all the guys in school are too weak to you. Isn’t that a sign you have to be more feminine?” Calm complained to her, only to receive a swift chop to the stomach.

“Inaho?” It seemed that Slaine had noticed them with all the noise they were making. He made his way over to them. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Neither did I. Aren’t you a senior? They usually don’t come to this area.”

Slaine looked a bit bashful as he scratched his cheek. “Ah, well, I kind of got lost...This academy is just so big.”

“I can take you there.”

“Really? That’d be great!”

“Uhh...Inaho...?”

He forgot that he was with his friends. They were all looking wide-eyed at him and Slaine, but mostly at Slaine.

“Wanna introduce us?” Okisuke cheerfully suggested. He was always the first to dive into situations like this. Whether that came from his outspoken personality or from how he simply just doesn’t think was unclear.

“Pardon me. I’m Slaine Troyard. A senior.”

“We know. I’m Calm!” Calm held out his hand for a handshake and Slaine hesitantly took it.

There was that look again.

Calm acted exactly the same as Yuki did when she first met Slaine. There was an expression of doubt before Calm shook his head and retreated back to the depths of the group.

Soon the rest of the group was introduced and the warning bell rang, signaling for the students to make their way to their next classroom. Inaho’s group of friends quickly left with Inko and Calm leading the pack and Inaho decided to hurry and take Slaine to wherever he needed to be.

“Thank you for this.” Slaine appreciatively smiled as they walked to one of the halls.

“It’s on my way. I don’t take the same class as everyone else for this period.”

Slaine looked skeptical, but didn’t question him. Which was good because that was a bald-faced lie.

“You look tired. Did you sleep late after I left last night?”

“No, I just didn’t sleep very well.”

“Bad dream?”

“More like nightmare.”

Slaine paused. “I...see. What kind?”

“It was some fantasy world with huge fighting robots like that one movie, Transformers.”

“What were you doing in it?”

“Piloting.”

Slaine laughed. “So even someone like you wants to be a hero!”

“Not necessarily. I just remember him feeling distressed and desperate.”

“Him?”

“I suppose you could say me. It didn’t really feel like it was me though. It was more of a third person view.”

“...Well, it’s just a dream. You don’t necessarily have to relate to it.” Slaine smiled that unnerving smile again.

Something caught his eye. It was Slaine’s wrist, the very one that he had grasped the other day before he leapt into the crowd at the supermarket.

There was a purple mark on it.

He quickly grabbed it and raised it up for both of them to see. “What happened here?”

Slaine’s face morphed into one of pain and Inaho loosened his grip. “Nothing.”

“This can’t be nothing. It wasn’t there yesterday.”

“What does it matter to you?” Slaine glared at him, his eyes telling him to stay away from the subject.

He broke his wrist free from Inaho’s grasp and started to walk away when Inaho caught up to him and stood to block his way.

“What are you doing, Orange?”

“I was wondering about that...How did you get that nickname?”

He stared at him for a second before looking out to the windows of the hall. “The orange scented everything in your house. Where did you get ‘Bat’?”

“Your umbrella.”

Slaine tried moving past him, but Inaho simply moved over to block him again.

“Just leave me alone.”

“No, we’re going to the nurse’s office.”

That got him worked up.

“Absolutely not!”

“Why? Is the reason for it something you can’t let others find out?”

Slaine closed in on him and their faces were only inches apart. “Of course.” He scathed.

Inaho could feel the tickle of his breath, smelling faintly of mint, assumedly his toothpaste. If it wasn’t for the situation, he would think of it as...Well.

“You’re smart, Inaho. I know you already have everything figured out even if I don’t say a word. So just leave it be.” He glared, emphasizing the last three words with a startlingly cold voice. He started to move past when Inaho grabbed his other wrist.

Those blue eyes flared and it was dazzling, but there were more important matters to focus on.

“The nurse usually isn’t in right after lunch. If we hurry, we can at least grab an ice pack before she returns.”

He squeezed his wrist and though it wasn’t the one with the painful mark, Slaine still winced.

“Fine.”

True to his word, the nurse was still not in the office so he hurried in and grabbed one of the ice packs from the fridge before hurrying out to where Slaine was waiting for him.

Under the shadows of the trees in the courtyard, Slaine was sitting in a daze, staring at seemingly nothing, thinking about absolutely nothing. He silently made his way to Slaine’s side and plopped down, offering him the freshly stolen ice pack.

Only nodding, Slaine took it and gingerly held it to his bruising wrist.

Inaho started to wonder if Slaine had other marks along his body, but he knew better than to ask. Slaine would likely thrash him for being so tactless.

It suddenly came to his mind that he hadn’t seen Slaine smile at him today. His smiles were given out almost for free before that it felt strange that he had only seen Slaine angry so far today. But that was so much more natural than the things he saw before and he found that he preferred him this way.

“You said you came for your father’s work, correct?”

Slaine nodded, not looking at him.

This wasn’t the time to be tactful so he asked straight up. “And your mother?”

Those blue eyes, heavily lidded, peered at him and a shiver ran down his spine. The look quickly dissipated into another one of his stock smiles. “She divorced him so I don’t know where she is now.”

“I see.” He had initially thought that his mother had passed away, but it seemed that she was still alive. He thought it strange that the mother wouldn’t have custody over the child, but judging from how Slaine didn’t even know where she was now, implying that they haven’t met since, she probably didn’t fight hard for custody rights.

“Hey, Inaho.”

“Yes?”

“Will you hold my hand?”

Now he was the one to look at Slaine in confusion. The blond simply kept smiling though as he offered up one of his palms, the one that wasn’t bruised.

“I’m feeling lonely all the sudden and it’s probably your fault. Take responsibility for what you’ve done.”

“I would suggest not wording it like that.”

“Please?” He tilted his head and looked like he would become lost if Inaho didn’t take that outstretched hand.

Almost as if he was comforting him, and in a way he was, he took that slender hand into his and was surprised by how cold it was.

He wasn’t one with a particularly high body temperature himself, but he could feel his body heat being stolen away by Slaine. It didn’t bother him though. If there was anyone he wanted to have it, it was Slaine.

He saw flashes of scenes from his dream.

When he couldn’t protect his friend, when he first killed another human being, when he first turned on another, when he looked at the world in a different light because of one girl who stormed into his life, when he couldn’t protect the one who was supposed to be precious to him, when he hated another with all his heart.

His left eye slowly started to hurt, but he did not and could not let go of Slaine’s hand.

And just how could he let go when he was smiling ever so gently, like a lost child who had found its mother at last?

How could he?

“Where did you go?” Calm asked when he finally returned to class.

“Nurse’s office. I felt sick.” He was slightly sickened by how easily that lie flew out of his mouth.

“All the sudden?” Inko looked worried again. “You did look bad this morning...”

“I’m fine now.”

“Do you not want to go to the game center with us today then?” Nina asked. It had been set up by Okisuke who wanted to party since last week was full of tests.

He was about to respond that it was fine, he could go when he remembered Slaine. That purple bruise on his wrist, who it probably came from, that look of defeat in his eyes, that weak smile. That relieved look when Inaho took his hand into his own.

“...Yeah, sorry, but I think I’ll pass. My head kind of hurts too.”

Inko was immediately on him. “I’ll walk you home then!”

“No, go enjoy yourself. I’ll be fine, Inko.” He shook his head, not telling her on purpose that as the girl, she shouldn’t be so gung-ho for escorting someone home. He was making progress on these social cues. He wasn’t planning on going home straight away anyway, not that he could tell that to them.

She looked like she wanted to protest, but he quickly packed up his things and was out of the door to the classroom, phone already out.

Sending a text message to Slaine Troyard.

Slaine was waiting for him at the convenience store nearby school.

“I didn’t think you would actually come.”

“You’re the one who said you’d tell everyone if I didn’t come!”

“Tell everyone what?”

Slaine stared at him in disbelief before sighing. “Want one? I got it while I was waiting for you.”

It was a white chocolate chip cookie.

“You prefer white chocolate?”

“Hm?” His mouth was already full of his own. “Not really. I don’t have a preference.”

“I see...” He didn’t bring up that he preferred white chocolate.

“Well, what is it this time? I thought you bothered me enough after lunch.” Slaine’s pale blond hair shone white in the light, just like it did when they met for the first time on that rainy day.

“Want to eat at my house again?”

“Again!?” Slaine looked exasperated. “I thought that was just a one-time thing?”

“Don’t worry, it’ll just be leftovers. I made too much yesterday.” Slaine still looked unwilling so he continued on. “I originally only made that much because we had you over so it was an overestimation of the amount of curry I would need. Thus, it is partly your fault so you should come over and help finish it. Curry doesn’t last that long in this heat.”

“At this rate, our whole relationship is just going to be full of this kind of thing.” Slaine gave an exasperated sigh.

“Then let me rephrase it. Come over and eat. It’ll be my treat.”

“I thought you just said it would be leftovers.”

“Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, Slaine.”

Slaine pulled a hand through his hair again and Inaho caught sight of his bare neck, stray strands of hair sticking to it with sweat, probably from staying outside while waiting for Inaho. “Oh, whatever! Let’s call it even after this, okay!? Friends shouldn’t operate on a basis of blame and debts in the first place.”

“We’re friends?”

“Ha? We’re not?” Slaine looked as if he might smack him.

“It was a joke.” They had eaten together, shared a more unpleasant secret together, and have fought in the time sale wars for eggs together. He wasn’t against calling them friends already.

“Save those for when you don’t have a resting poker face...” Slaine let out a sigh of relief and Inaho could barely make out him muttering, “I thought for a second you didn’t consider me your friend...”

“So, you’ll come?”

“...If you say please.” Slaine smiled.

“...........”

“Guess I’ll just go home then. Have fun with your curry!”

“Please.”

“Please what?”

He was starting to get irritated at that barely-holding-back-my-laughter grin.

“...Please help us finish our curry. I don’t want Yuki to gain weight.”

“That’s quite rude of you...But, since you asked so nicely, gladly.” He held out his hand and Inaho just stared at it.

Neither of them spoke.

“Please?” He tilted his head and despite himself and a part of his brain warning him not to, Inaho took it.

It was slightly sticky with sweat and his left eye was starting to burn again, but he couldn’t let go of it.

How could he when he smiled ever so gently and the purple hue on his wrist remained in plain view?

“Thank you so much again.” Slaine smiled at Yuki after dinner. His bag was in his hands and his shoes were already put back on to leave.

“No, no, it’s great to have you over!” She grinned. “Nao seems livelier too!”

“I’m glad for that then.” Slaine looked smugly at him, but Inaho ignored it.

“Yuki, I’ll go see Slaine off so you go finish your work. That paperwork has to be done by tomorrow, right?”

“Ah, I totally forgot! Thanks, Nao! Bye-bye, Slaine! Have a safe trip home!” She rushed off back inside the house and Inaho put on his shoes.

“You’re going to walk me to my house?” Slaine was apprehensive.

“No, I need to go get something from the convenience store.”

“I thought it was something like that.” The older boy sighed. “Weren’t we there earlier? Why didn’t you get it then?”

He paused, then grabbed his keys from their spot by the entrance way. “I forgot then. Let’s go.”

Slaine didn’t look like he entirely believed him and he had to admit it was a poor excuse himself. But that couldn’t be helped. His mind strayed to the large amount of messages that had reached his phone during dinner.

Sender: Amifumi Inko.

He parted with Slaine halfway on his way to the convenience store thankfully. He had a sneaking suspicion of what Inko called him out for and didn’t want either of them seeing each other. He mused to himself that he was acting like a guilty husband meeting his wife after cheating on her with a secret mistress. Though he wasn’t in that sort of relationship with Inko or Slaine.

“Sorry to keep you waiting, Inko.”

The girl was leaning against the wall of the convenience store. Even though the days were warm, it was still cold at night. A girl shouldn’t be carelessly freezing her body like this.

“Inaho...” She looked up at him, concern and despair apparent in her amethyst eyes. He knew the cause of it, but wasn’t sure of why it would make her feel this way.

“You want to talk, right? Let’s go to the park.”

She weakly nodded and followed behind him as they both walked to the neighborhood park that they used to frequent when they were younger. Plopping down on one of the swings, he motioned for her to do the same.

Neither of them spoke.

He didn’t feel like it was his right to start the conversation so he simply waited for her to feel ready enough to ask what she so desperately wanted to know. Whether he could answer honestly was another question.

“Inaho...why did you lie?”

He turned his head to look at her. She wasn’t looking at him.

“You were...meeting with Slaine, right?”

“Yeah.” That wasn’t something he was going to bother hiding.

“Why did you lie about it?”

“I can’t tell you that.” It would mean he would have to go into detail about the bruise on Slaine’s wrist and that wasn’t something he was allowed to talk about. Especially not after witnessing those pleading blue eyes beg him not to tell a soul, even if it hurt him again.

“I...see.” She wasn’t asking more. He and Inko had known each other for a long time. She knew by now that if he wasn’t going to answer, he wasn’t going to answer, no matter how much she pried. “Why do you care so much about him? You’ve barely just met, right?”

“I wonder.” He began moving his legs back and forth, the swing taking his momentum and pushing him forward and back. “I don’t have an answer to give you on that.”

“What does that even mean?” Inko lowered her head, hands clenching the sides of the swing.

“I don’t know.” He really didn’t. He felt a strong familiarity with Slaine, but that didn’t make sense considering they did barely just meet like Inko said. And even now, he didn’t know Slaine that well and Slaine shouldn’t know him well either. But that gentle smile brought up something within him that he didn’t even know was there and his slender hands kept bringing up a side of him that shouldn’t exist.

Sometimes when he was with Slaine, it felt like he was becoming a different person and that was frightening. Yet he couldn’t stop.

It was irrational, but he thought that if he stayed with Slaine he would find out the answers to all the questions swirling within his mind and be rid of the sinking feeling weighing in his stomach.

“Don’t you know practically everything?” It was a statement done out of frustration, he could tell.

“I only know what I know and what I look up.”

Inko snorted at that. “Sometimes I feel like your best friend is that tablet of yours.”

“That’s not true, a tablet cannot be a friend.”

But he had made a new friend today in Slaine.

He recalls Slaine’s dumbfounded expression when asking if Inaho didn’t consider him a friend and feels a bit more firm in his resolve.

“I’m joking, Inaho.”

“I see.”

Silence reigned between them again. He glanced over to see that she had finally raised her head and was looking up to the moon above.

Its crescent shape reminded him of the broken remains of it from his dream. To the Japanese, the moon was more than just a satellite to Earth. It was a rabbit in the sky, making rice cakes. Its reflection in clear waters was Izanagi’s mirror. It was your only companion in the darkness of the night, the only thing that would never leave you.

It was a thinly veiled “I love you”.

In a world with no moon, how did they express such intense yearning? Or perhaps it was taboo to be accepting of death in a world where even if you weren’t ready for it, it came mercilessly.

“Inaho.” Inko’s voice sounded uncharacteristically clear and held a power to it that she hadn’t displayed when talking into a microphone for student events.

She was going to say it.

“Stay away from Slaine Troyard.”

“......Why?”

While he figured it was something like this, he didn’t understand the reasoning behind it. Didn’t Inko just meet him today? On what basis was she saying those words? On what basis did she come to resent another person like this? She wasn’t the type of girl to be overcome with hatred like this.

But it was clear to see.

She hated Slaine.

“I...can’t tell you.” She shut her eyes tight. “But please...just listen to me this one time, Inaho...Stay away from him...!”

“Inko...” His heart hurt to see her like this, but he also couldn’t accept her request so easily. Not when there were so many questions left. Not when Slaine was still wearing that fake smile while the bruises on his body increased by the day. “Tell me the reason why. Didn’t you just meet him today?”

She looked hurt that he didn’t agree right away, and he could see in her eyes that she was already starting to give up.

She wasn’t wrong to do so. If he was questioning, it meant he had his doubts. And if he had his doubts, it meant that he had already made up his mind. There was nothing she could do to change it.

“You’ll get hurt, Inaho.”

“He hasn’t hurt me.”

“But he will!”

“How do you know?”

“Inaho...” Tears started spilling out of her eyes. “Just listen to me this once...!”

Startled by her tears, he quickly stopped swinging and rushed over to her. She hung onto his sleeves and wet them with her tears, but he didn’t mind.

“Inaho...just...forget about him...please...”

I don’t want to go through that again. I don’t want you to go through that again.

He wasn’t sure what she meant by that, but she was in no state to ask. The only sound in the park was Inko’s cries and they stayed like that till there were none left for her to shed.

Once he dropped Inko off at her home and made it back to his, he shut the door and slid down it.

Stay away from Slaine Troyard, huh.

He had never seen Inko like that before. He had never seen her hate someone so openly as if he was the one who had killed her parents or similar. In the end, he couldn’t promise he would do as she asked. He still had so many questions he wanted answer, even more now that she had opened up a new door of them.

His left eye started to sting again and he slid down the door to rest his chin on his knees, placing pressure on it to relieve the pain. His sleeves still felt wet from Inko’s tears and his heart felt heavy. He obviously didn’t want to hurt them, but he wasn’t going to allow himself to listen to their every word when he wasn’t satisfied with the logic behind it.

Nakahara Jun once said that the thing that defines you is not “what” you are, but “what” if you lose, will make you cease to be you anymore.

He felt like maybe his “what” might be Slaine Troyard.

The name was melodious to his ears, like they’ve heard it so often that it’s become a part of them now.

Even though he feels like the worst for causing Inko so much grief, his lips involuntarily moved up to form what was most likely a disgusting and unforgivable smile.

That night he saw the dream again.

This time, everyone’s faces were clear. He wasn’t a third party, he was actually experiencing it.

He was living it.

The world with a broken moon.

The murder of a Princess.

Huge castles piercing the Earth’s surface and eradicating all life for miles.

Huge machines towering over people and crushing them as if they were bugs on the ground.

People dying left and right. Homes being destroyed with the lift of a finger.

No care for the loss of life.

His hands losing their grip on someone important.

Revenge, hatred, the fear of losing his loved ones.

Golden blond hair and innocent green eyes.

The wide, blue sky overhead as birds flew free, so unlike himself and the girl who stood by him. Trapped on Earth.

A silver pendant.

Near death. The aid of another.

A bat.

Blood on his hands.

Blood flowing directly down his face.

Warmth flowing into him from the hands that so tightly held onto his own.

His hands losing their grip on someone important.

The ground beneath his body as he crawled and dragged his body close.

And...

A gun held up to his face.

The blue Martian uniform.

The gun in his hand pointing at the sole blurry face in the whole dream.

Orange. And bat.

His eye searing in pain and the whole world going black.

When he walked into the classroom, Inko raised her head to stare at him for only a moment before turning away her gaze back to her desk. Nina looked confused, but opted to stay by her side.

“Hey, you look like shit, are you okay?” Calm ran up to him.

“...Yeah. I just didn’t sleep well.” He peered up at the blond. “You don’t look so well either.”

Calm sheepishly rubbed the back of his head. “I didn’t sleep that well either.”

“So that makes two of us.”

“I guess.”

“Hm? Whatcha two talking about?” Okisuke bounced up when he saw that they weren’t moving from the door to the classroom.

“Nothing!”

“Yeah, it’s nothing.”

“C’mon, tell me!”

Inaho could feel his nerves relaxing already after seeing Okisuke’s face. He remembered so clearly the last look he got of him before Inaho’s hands let him go and he was set spiraling into the purple Kataphrakt. The first friend Inaho lost, the first hand he let go of, and the reason he had decided to fight.

Experiencing everything as himself was a completely different experience from seeing it from a third person perspective.

Everything felt so real. Everything hurt him, everything affected him.

The grief when Okisuke died was real. The fear he felt when he first faced off against a Martian Kat was real. The thrill of victory after taking it down was real. The tension when he trusted his Kat to that Martian sky carrier was real. The fulfilling feeling when the Princess so sincerely thanked him was real. The despair when he once again failed to protect someone close to him was real.

The pain in his left eye was real.

“Hey, Inaho, are you okay?” Okisuke was looking at him concerned now. “Is there something wrong with your eye?”

He could hear Calm take in a sharp breath and Inko shook in her seat as well.

“It’s nothing.” He had to assure them. He couldn’t let them worry. Not again.

It was nothing more than a dream after all.

School was over and he was the most exhausted he’s been in a long time. Barely waving goodbye to his friends, he left the classroom, intending on just going straight home.

That was when his thoughts strayed to Slaine.

That’s what he called the other boy, mainly because of his umbrella.

He originally thought it was just a coincidence.

But then Slaine had called him Orange.

How high were the chances of that? They weren’t exactly common nicknames.

And Slaine had said he chose that because of all the orange scented things in his apartment. Which was true, but the first time he called Inaho Orange was when they were at the supermarket.

Before he had invited Slaine home.

A chill went down his spine.

He had to find Slaine.

He called his number, but it led way to the answering machine every time. Not much time had passed since the ending bell rang, he might still be on the grounds of the Academy.

Not sparing a second, he broke into a run, looking for that pale blond hair and brilliant blue eyes.

Every floor, every room, every corner.

His breathing was harsh and his lungs were already screaming in protest. He never had been the athletic type.

Just when he was considering the possibility that Slaine might have already left school his phone rang. Looking at the caller ID, he let out a sigh of relief.

“Inaho?”

He felt the tension in his shoulders flow out from the sound of his soft voice.

“Slaine...”

“Uh, yeah? Why were you calling me?”

“I was just wondering where you were.”

“...And you had to call me seven times for just that?” Slaine’s voice sounded disbelieving.

“You weren’t picking up so I was concerned.”

“Hmm?” He sounded utterly amused, much to Inaho’s chagrin. He did admit that it was a bit much, but his nerves were on a high after that dream.

“So where are you? Did you leave school already?”

“No? I’m at the art classroom.”

“I already checked there and I didn’t see you.”

“Well, that’s where I am...Oh, aah, sorry, I meant the old one!”

“The old one?”

“Yeah, you know, the old building on the east side of school. The one that’s not really used anymore.”

There was one building set off on the east portion of the grounds that had been mostly unused after renovations to the main buildings had been completed. Now it was used mainly for storage and a couple of clubs that weren’t large enough to secure a room in the main campus.

“The art club’s room is in the C building though?”

“Well, I’m not in the art club. This is the Study of the Arts Society.”

He wasn’t even aware that even existed.

“Oh, quit yapping and come over if you’re going to. I’m busy too, you know.”

“I’ll be there in five minutes.”

“Mmhm, see you then.” And he hung up.

When he first reached the abandoned art classroom in the old building, he stopped himself from entering and letting his presence be known right away. Slaine was in a corner of the room with an easel in front of him and acrylic paints to his side. He was carefully painting something onto the canvas laid out.

The sun was setting, coloring the classroom a deep orange. With the sun behind him, shadows hid away most of Slaine’s face, but Inaho somehow felt calm seeing this side of him.

The orange hue of the room almost made it seem like they were in their own world, separated from the hectic mess of daily life and in fact, they were the only ones in this building.

It was just Slaine and him in this world of various shades of red. One that only appears for that small fraction of time between afternoon and night. A fragment of dusk that is merely a wishful mirage.

It’s said that this hour of the day is when people are most likely to commit suicide. Feeling alone and abandoned by the world, the red and the utterly still nature of the air around them makes them much more susceptible to such feelings of despair.

In this dream-like world, ending it all feels all too easy. Ending it all feels like it really isn’t the end.

For example, you could take that palette knife that is in Slaine’s hand right now and slit it across your wrist, coloring the floor a red the same color as the sun’s burning light. One smooth motion down your forearm, vertically and not horizontally, mind you. In this strange world of twilight, the red could be then used as paint, making a vibrant masterpiece of that canvas.

Then everything would go back to normal as soon as the orange dye washed away and the darkness of the night engulfed everything in its path with only the faint light of the moon to lead the lost.

That was the beauty of the twilight evening.

They were on a different plane. X, Y, Z—it was none of them.

It was just him and Slaine.

Before he could call out his name, to pull him out from this space, Slaine noticed him first.

He smiled. “Inaho.”

Aah, how long he’s wanted to hear that voice say his name.

The sun was passing, entering a deep sleep. Dusk was nearing its end.

“Wait just a minute, I’ll clean up.” He stood up, holding his palette full of various shades of blue, green, and purple.

“What were you drawing?” He finally found the power within his legs to walk into the classroom now that the orange color of twilight had faded away.

“The sky.” Slaine turned around the easel to present his half-filled canvas.

As Slaine said, it was merely the sky. The wide, endlessly blue sky.

The skill level wasn’t breathtaking, but he could feel the longing and emotions Slaine had put into it.

He smiled sheepishly, scratching his cheek and getting some paint on it. “I know I’m not very good. It’s just a hobby.”

He shook his head. Art’s purpose was to express and Slaine’s painting, though not yet completed, did more than just that.

“What are you planning on doing with the rest?” The bottom of the canvas was still left untouched which was quite unorthodox when the top half seemed nearing completion.

Slaine hummed a bit while washing his tools in the nearby sink. “Mmm, I haven’t really decided. I could draw someone, or something, but nothing really feels right. I might just leave it blank. It never was meant to be seen by someone else in the first place.”

“So you simply like just painting.”

“I guess you could say that.” Putting the freshly cleaned brushes onto a rack, he picked up his palette. “What’d you call me for anyway? You wanted something, right?”

He’s reminded of the whole reason he spent the day looking for him in the first place.

Orange and bat.

He bit his lip. He knew that asking about contents of a dream like this would make him seem like a madman, but he felt like Slaine would somehow understand.

Out of everyone he knew, Slaine would surely understand.

He was about to open his mouth when Slaine started mixing all the colors on his palette together. Blue mixed with green and with purple and with white. The white paint stained blue, green, purple. White being eaten up.

“Hey, Inaho.” Slaine softly smiled. “Life’s a lot like painting, don’t you think?”

“...How so?”

“Mix in two or three colors, ones that compliment, and you get a brand new one. Full of subtleties and texture. It might not always be what you want, but you can work with it.” He spoke as he continued mixing the paints on his palette till they ended up as one unappealing greenish grey. “Mix in too many and you get something ugly like this. You can’t use it and no one wants it.”

He placed the palette in the sink and let the water run over it, washing everything—blue, green, purple, white—down into the drain below. “And then it eventually gets thrown away just like this.”

I’m something like that.

Finishing up cleaning, Slaine took off his apron and smiled at Inaho. Those blue eyes of his twinkling and his pale blond hair illuminated by the faint light of the moon.

The moon had many meanings for the Japanese. It was a subject of longing and desire.

It was a thinly veiled “I love you”.

And it was at this moment that Inaho thought that he would be fine with dying.

“So, what did you want?”

“It’s nothing.” He felt like he smiled back. Or at least, he hoped he did.

Slaine tilted his head in confusion, and then smiled with an innocent air as the moon looked beautiful beyond. “Okay then?”

He felt the pieces finally connect within him and a hole that was always hollow fill up.

Slaine was his “what”.

That night he did not see any nightmares so he got enough rest, much to the relief of his friends. During the whole day, all he could think about was Slaine. While the blond politely declined his invitation to eat lunch together that day, he figured he should drop by the old art classroom to check out if Slaine was there.

However, the classroom was empty.

Slaine’s bag was left abandoned by the chair and easel though so it meant he had been here. Out of curiosity for how far the blond had managed to get today, he peered at the canvas and lost his words at what he saw.

The blue sky that kept screaming about how much it wanted freedom was covered with black and grey paint. You could hardly see the traces of that endlessly blue sky underneath the slabs of acrylic. The whole piece was ruined.

Had Slaine been the one to do this?

No, he wasn’t the type to ruin his own work like that. But then who?

Questions would have to wait till he found Slaine and he had a bad feeling about it all. If there was one thing that he has learned throughout these years he’s been alive is that his instinct was usually correct.

He ran through the halls, but Slaine was nowhere to be found. When he passed by an open window, he heard shouting and a bad feeling began welling up in his chest.

As he approached the back of the building in the direction of where the sound came from, he heard another voice and his feet stopped involuntarily.

“You bastard!”

He caught sight of pale blond hair.

His blood went cold.

“You leave Inaho the fuck alone! You already screwed him over, and now you want to do it again!? Wasn’t it enough for you!?”

The one shouting at Slaine was Calm. His hands were on Slaine’s collar and his eyes were in frenzy with anger and hatred.

“And what the fuck is that eye!? Are you making fun of him!?” He scathed and Slaine flinched away from the saliva.

Inaho ran towards them, but words would not come out from his mouth.

Slaine was smiling. That unnerving smile that had you backing away and forcing you to stutter over your words.

“And if it is?” He smirked which got Calm even angrier. He raised his fist to go for a blow when Inaho grabbed it.

“Inaho!?”

Both of them were shocked at the unexpected intruder.

“What are you doing, Calm?” He was surprised at his own voice. It was low and steady, but the anger hidden underneath was as clear as day. Had he always sounded this way? Had he always sounded this cold?

He looked at Slaine and his eyes widened at what he saw.

Slaine had a medical eye patch over his left eye.

The same eye that Inaho had lost in his dream.

He narrowed his eyes at Calm. “Did you do this...?”

It was a silly question. Of course Calm didn’t do this. If he did, Slaine wouldn’t have an eye patch already.

But he needed something to let go of this black feeling that threatened to engulf him right now. He knew who was responsible for it and he wanted nothing more than to kill him.

“Slaine, let’s go.” He separated the two and grabbed Slaine’s wrist, ignoring his small yelp of pain. He noted with dissatisfaction that the purple bruise on it still didn’t look any better. Another thing that man needed to pay for.

“Inaho!” Calm cried out for him.

“Don’t.” His voice cut through the air and Calm couldn’t speak. “Come on, Slaine.”

The blond looked as if he might cry, but only nodded as he allowed Inaho to drag him away from that place.

He realized that Slaine’s bag was still inside of the abandoned art room so they first went there to pick it up. As he gathered Slaine’s things, he saw the blond look melancholy in front of the ruined painting.

“I was the one who did it, if you were wondering.” Slaine spoke as he took the canvas and set a white cloth over it, hiding it from his eyes.

He felt his grip on Slaine’s bag tighten. “...Why?”

You looked so happy while painting it so why?

Slaine drew close and stretched out his hand. Inaho took it with his own without even thinking about it only for Slaine to burst out laughing.

“I meant, give me my bag!”

“.......Oh.” He sheepishly handed him his bag and tried to let go of his hand, but Slaine was the one gripping onto his hand now.

He smiled and Inaho felt his heart hurt at the sight of only one of those brilliant blue eyes.

“Let’s go home?”

He nodded stiffly.

As they left the school gates, the sun started to set, once again dyeing the campus a deep orange red, setting their world into the parallel world of twilight.

There was a comfortable silence between them only broken by Slaine’s words. He didn’t realize how cruel they were till much, much later.

“It's probably because I’ve given up.”

He forced Slaine to come with him to his house. Once inside, he checked his fridge if they had any ice packs or anything that could substitute as one. He found a bag of frozen fruit that could perhaps be made into a makeshift one. Slaine was slumped against the wall of the hallway, unmoving and bangs covering his beautiful eyes away from sight.

“Slaine. Don’t sit there. If you’re going to sit, sit on the couch in the living room.”

Slaine frowned at him, still displeased that he was forced to once again come into the Kaizuka household. It couldn’t be helped so he gently helped him up and led him to sit on the couch. He didn’t have any ice packs so he prepared something warm for him to drink instead.

“Slaine...Here.” He presented a cup of tea to the blond.

He could see the elastic around the back of his head. The white band blending in with the pale blond hair.

“Slaine.” He slowly reached forward and touched Slaine’s chin. Then, ever so carefully raised his head so he could see his face. He looked so unbalanced with the eye patch. It didn’t suit him. Being hurt didn’t suit him. He didn’t want to see him like this.

He clenched his fists. “Slaine...who did this to you?”

It was a rhetorical question. He already knew. He just wanted to hear it from Slaine’s mouth. To prove that Slaine still had some fight left in him. That he was still alive.

“Slaine...” It was surprising how gentle his voice sounded right now. Back at school in front of Calm it startled even himself how cold and menacing he sounded.

“You’re smart, Inaho. I know you already have everything figured out even if I don’t say a word.” Slaine repeated the words when he first found out about the bruise on his wrist. “So leave it be.”

Leave it be? When Slaine’s eye was hurt like this?

That man had injured his eye. He had hurt Slaine.

He had made Slaine hide away one of his beautiful blue eyes away from the world.

Wasn’t that a sin in itself?

He feared the possibility of Slaine’s eye never recovering and he would be forced to live like this forever. He couldn’t stand it.

“I’ll be fine, Inaho.” Slaine sighed, taking a sip of the tea.

“Slaine...” He looked at him.

Deep red like the flag of Vers, the enemy country in his dream, if it even was a dream, met the blue of the ocean of Earth.

“Yes?...Orange.” Slaine smiled in a self-derisory manner. It was clear in his eyes. He had given up.

His throat went dry.

“You already know, right? You know what I did. You know that this was the wound.” He slid a slender finger along his forehead to his left eye. “That I gave you last time.”

He couldn’t speak. Slaine was confirming what he already knew, but it was an entirely different thing for it to come out of those lips.

Perhaps sensing his inner turmoil, Slaine pressed down on the eyelid of his left eye, forcing him to close it. Now both of them only had their right eyes open.

“Aren’t you glad? I got what was coming to me.” He smiled that unnerving smile again. He didn’t want to see that anymore. He didn’t want to see that sort of smile on Slaine’s face.

What did he want with Slaine Troyard?

It was simple.

All he wanted was for him to smile.

He wanted to see that gentle smile that had his heart beating and brought up a side to him that he didn’t even know existed.

But, a cloud of self-doubt hampers his mood. Were these his feelings? Or were they Kaizuka Inaho’s feelings? He couldn’t exactly deny that he was influenced by those memories. He had felt like the hollow feeling he’s had ever since he was a child was filling up after meeting Slaine and now he was starting to suspect that the hollow feeling came to be in the first place because he hadn’t met Slaine. Slaine was his “what”, after all. But then that would mean he felt that way because of the past and then that would mean that these feelings were “that” Inaho’s.

No, they couldn’t possibly be Kaizuka Inaho’s. The Slaine in the dream shot his eye out. There was no way that he would feel that way to someone who did that.

But him? There was no such bad blood between them now. So this warmth in his chest must belong to him, and only him. It just had to.

“It’s karma. Probably.” He heard Slaine mutter, eye looking far off to the kitchen. He turned his gaze back to Inaho and smiled again, but not the smile that Inaho wanted. “Aren’t you happy? Karma caught up to me. I deserve this, don’t you think?”

A denial of that started to rise in his throat, but he was interrupted by the sound of the door opening.

“Naooo!” It was Yuki. “Is Slaine over again? Your guys’ shoes are all over the place. Nao, are you here? Na---“

She stopped right in her tracks when she entered the living room and saw Slaine.

Or more specifically, when she saw that eye patch across his left eye.

“That eye...” Her face quickly lost all its color and he felt like he had to act before it was too late.

“Y...You...” Her breathing became erratic and her cheeks were starting to flush with anger.

His heart stopped with realization. Yuki had seen that dream too.

She had seen him get shot and lie in a pool of his own blood.

All by that Slaine’s hand.

“Get out...”

“Yuki.”

“What the hell do you think you’re doing here?” Her voice shook, but her eyes were fierce with their determination and their hate. “Are you planning on hurting Nao again?”

“Yuki, you know that he—“

“Stay quiet, Nao. I’m talking to this bastard, right now.”

Slaine didn’t respond, but he also didn’t look away from her glares.

“Get out...” She repeated again.

“Yuki...”

“GET OUT!!” She screamed hysterically and when she saw that he was still frozen in place, she lunged forward to him, only to be stopped by Inaho himself. “GET OUT! GET OUT!! NEVER COME NEAR NAO AGAIN! YOU BASTARD, YOU DIRTY BASTARD!!”

“Yuki, stop!”

Tears were freely flowing down her face. She kept trying to reach for Slaine and she possessed a strength that he didn’t know she had. It was the movements of a wild animal. Inaho wasn’t even in her view anymore.

All she could see was Slaine.

All she could see was the one who hurt her precious younger brother.

“I’LL KILL YOU!!” She screeched. “I’ll kill you...!!........Leave him alone, leave us all alone…!...You murderer, YOU MURDERER!!”

She kept screaming at him and Slaine could only stand in silence. His eyes filled with not sorrow, and not despair. They were eyes of someone who had given up, given up on everything.

He slowly rose from his seat on the couch and to Inaho’s horror, bowed to Yuki who was still thrashing in Inaho’s arms.

He stood up and smiled that weak, clumsy smile. “I’m sorry.”

Yuki thrashed even harder at those words, face red and eyes filled with tears.

He took his bag that was abandoned in the hall and slowly made his way to the entranceway. He turned around one last time, bowed again, and was gone.

Just like that, he was gone.

Nakahara Jun once said that the thing that defines you is not “what” you are, but “what” if you lose, will make you cease to be you anymore.

If he lost Slaine, then wouldn’t he not be him anymore?

Yuki collapsed onto the ground along with Inaho. She kept repeating those words. “Get out...get out...get out...get out...”

His heart ached. He didn’t know what to do. He desperately wanted to go after Slaine, but he couldn’t leave Yuki like this. But, he also couldn’t leave Slaine like that either.

What to do? Who to choose?

“Nao...” Yuki cried. “Nao...Nao...”

She was holding onto his sleeve like a child, crying out his name.

Despite every cell in his body telling him to run after Slaine, he couldn’t abandon his sister. His precious older sister. Who did everything for his sake. Who sacrificed everything for him. Slaine might have been his “what”, but Yuki was his family and while it was an incorrect version of the old phrase, blood ran thicker than water.

“I’m right here, Yuki.” He hugged her gently. She kept crying while repeating his name and hugging him back tight. “I’m right here.”

“Nao...Your eye...I couldn’t protect you...” Her hand that was wrapped around his back tightened on his shirt.

“I’m fine, Yuki. See? I have both of my eyes.” He leaned back a little so she could get a clear view of his face.

Her eyes filled with tears again and her face relaxed in relief. “Nao...You’re right here...You’re right here...! You’re alive...!”

“Yes, yes, I am.” He said in a soft voice, almost as if he was whispering her a lullaby. “How could I not be? You’ve always protected me, Yuki.”

She shook her head in his chest.

“No? You know that’s not true.”

Another shake.

“You’re always thinking about me. You’re always giving up so much for my sake. Do you know how much that keeps me going every day?”

“You’re my little brother, Nao! I’d give up anything for you!” She cried. “And you’re the reason I can keep going every day.”

“I want you to be happy too, Yuki.”

“You’re my happiness.”

“Just like you’re mine.”

“Nao...” She buried her face into him again, holding even tighter than before. He gently patted her head.

“I’m right here.”

She nodded.

“It was all just a dream, Yuki. A bad, bad dream. It’s not real.”

Was it really not?

“I can still smell your blood on my hands when I found you like that...” She gasped out. “And when...”

She hugged him tighter.

“It was a dream.”

She didn’t respond.

“It wasn’t real.”

“Nao...Promise me one thing.”

“Yes?”

“Stay away from Slaine Troyard.”

She was asking of him the same thing Inko did.

He wanted to say no.

He couldn’t let him wallow in guilt over something he never did.

He couldn’t abandon Slaine.

Kaizuka Inaho was whispering into his ear.

Don’t listen to her.

She’s insane.

It’s nothing but a dream.

She’s not in control over your life.

Are you really going to leave him alone?

Are you really going to choose to never to see that gentle smile, pale blond hair, and beautiful blue eyes ever again?

Are you really going to abandon Slaine Troyard?

You’ll lose yourself if you do.

Yuki grasped his hands. “Please...Listen to your older sister just this once.”

Sorry, Kaizuka Inaho.

Sorry...Slaine.

But no younger brother can order his older sister around.

If losing Slaine meant losing himself, then he would be rebuilt as Kaizuka Yuki’s younger brother. The one who always cared for her, cooked for her, loved and was loved by her.

He returned her grip. “I will.”

No matter how much it killed him to do so.

That night he saw a dream again. A continuation.

He was back to seeing it all from a bird’s eye view.

A mechanical eye where he had shot it out.

The Princess was alive and preaching for war.

But it wasn’t her.

Anger. A desire to save her.

Slaine Troyard.

A pure white Kat.

The Tharsis.

Dancing in space. Crossing paths for only a moment.

The death of a Count.

His rise to power and the red of the coat that now adorned his shoulders.

A friendly prisoner.

A duel in space.

His attack, his move, his strategy.

Searing pain in his eye.

Meeting him face to face at last.

Meeting the Princess for one last time.

Vowing to grant her wish.

Coming for him when he had lost everything.

Fighting to the brink of death.

Grabbing that hand and this time...not letting it go.

A thin man in shackles and blue.

Tears that looked like pearls running down the sides of his face.

And...

He awoke.

Kaizuka Inaho smiles at him.

He wants to wipe that smile right off his face, but he was right.

He couldn’t abandon Slaine Troyard.

He was him. He was Kaizuka Inaho, but not that one.

Inaho was a peculiar child.

He had little desires and found it easy to let go. But he had finally found something that he refused to part with. He couldn’t become the younger brother that Yuki needed, he was no one but him and he wasn’t about to let history repeat.

Yuki was already fast asleep when he left the house with only his wallet, a jacket and the other clothes on his back. He left a note for her.

He’s sure it’ll break her heart, but it had to be done.

He just could not leave him alone.

He would work something out. He always did.

It was all just a dream after all.

He wasn’t answering his phone, but Inaho was sure for some strange reason that he hadn’t returned to his house. He finally found Slaine sitting on the swings in the park he and Inko used to play in when they were young. For some reason, he thought that he would be here and here he was.

His pale blond hair looked ethereally white in the light of the streetlamps. His form slender in the darkness of the night. Only one of his beautiful blue eyes able to be seen.

Slaine perked his head up at the sound of the crunching of leaves as Inaho walked towards him.

“Inaho...”

“Slaine.”

He looked dumbfounded.

Inaho held out his hand.

“Let’s run away together.”